I am writing this on a Wednesday, but it felt like Saturday or a Sunday.
We got back from out of town yesterday, back from our mom's funeral service and both of us still had one more day off of work.
It was nice today, weather wise, so I figured it would be a good time to get the grass cut and there was stuff that my sister needed to get done over at our mom's house also.
Before our mom passed, we would go over there every Saturday. Order lunch on the way over, eat with her and then get to work on whatever needed to be done around the house.
The fact that today was a Wednesday, was not the only thing that was different.
I got there before my sister, and when I walked in it was quiet. No hello, no chit chat, just quiet. It was weird.
We ordered lunch from the same place that we always do, and sat at the table in the same spots that we always do, but today there was an empty chair. And once again, it was weird.
After we ate I went out and cut the grass like I always do, but when I walked in the house halfway through to get something to drink (like I always do), there wasn't a voice from the living room saying, "You're done already?" Or telling me the next thing that was on the list and then me having to say, "I still need to finish cutting the grass, I'll do that when I'm done."
Nope. None of that. It was just quiet.
Instead of one of us going to the grocery store, and putting new items in the fridge and the freezer in the garage, my sister was cleaning out the refrigerator of old leftovers that didn't get eaten. Then cleaning out the freezer in the garage of things that will never get eaten. Both of them were almost bare by the time we left.
In between all of this, we were talking about all the things that need to get done in the next few months. Actually talking about needing to make a list rather than work off a list that was given to us. Once again, it was really weird.
This is the first of many weird days that we're going to have over the next few months. Maybe even over the next few years, but here's the deal.
We have family and friends that are here for us. Mike and I have this whole sober community that we can lean on and that are here to help us. We can and will get through all of the weird times; all of the quiet times; all of the empty times.
We were raised by a strong, independent woman and everyone around her had the opportunity to learn from her strength and independence.
And in times like these, we are grateful and thankful for that strength.
