SoberNotMature - Episode 119 (Smirnoff Free But Still Yakin' Off)

00:02.78
Bill
All right? Everyone welcome once again to another episode of sober not mature and guess what Mike here we fucking go. But so um I guess we're as as we say we're going to pull back the the curtain a little bit so we're trying a new.

00:10.21
Mike
Right.

00:19.96
Bill
Software tonight it is called Zencastr we're go do the same god damn thing we hit. We started with riverside in in the first episode. We said what it is this is zencastrs z e n c a s t r apparently they're too cool to use the e they're just zen cast er right.

00:21.67
Mike
Right? ah.

00:35.77
Mike
O r.

00:39.46
Bill
Or um, because with all the all the fucking problems we've had with with riverside. We're gonna give this give this a whirl. We got two weeks where it's just us recording and I don't know I mean I tested it out what day was that Monday I think that I texted you I think sure. Um.

00:55.80
Mike
Sure. Ah.

00:58.65
Bill
So I texted Mike and I'm like hey I gave it a shot then I hook I ran up and hooked it up with my normal computer in chromebook it did the whole thing and recorded a couple of minutes and I figured out how to use it and but just text the Mike and I'm like so you know unless you have any. You know, ah any problems with it or any objections I said you know should we try it on Thursday and your answer was and I said well famous last words. So um, who knows this could be. It could be fucking worse but it sounded good and so far.

01:14.71
Mike
Um, or it couldn't be any worse right.

01:29.62
Bill
Um, the only thing that we noticed is Mike's voices a little bit down is we started but I think it'll even it out in the recording. So I don't know it's it's one of those things. It's it's a free trial. We got two weeks to test it out two weeks 2 episodes and who fucking knows we're gonna.

01:35.44
Mike
Um, nay.

01:44.84
Bill
We're gonna say if it works we will. We will sing the praises of Zencastr from the rooftop and we will shit all over riversideed well continue to ah it and then the then I'll try to fight to get whatever money back that we paid in and I'm sure they won't pay it back and then fuck them. Anyhow, so but yeah, so you.

01:53.98
Mike
Um, yeah, right.

02:01.31
Mike
Um, great.

02:04.59
Bill
It I don't know I I'm I'm optimistic I guess would that be the that be a good word I'm tentatively um, little bit I don't want to say scared just I don't know we've been fucked with so much with this God damn recording I Just don't fucking know you know so.

02:07.64
Mike
Sure to me. Right? Yeah, but I mean so far so good. We don't have a fucking counter. We don't have shit on here. Oh yeah, we do there. It is all right? So we're two and a half minutes in yes, two and a half minutes in and it's working.

02:27.13
Bill
You see it? Okay I was gonna say right? Yeah and it ah it is. It's like like Mike just said there's nothing to tinker around with he's got a mute button. He's kid raise his hand as if we would ever do that. Be polite. You know like oh it's my turn to speak.

02:39.22
Mike
Yeah I know may I say something please have I got nothing to fucking say.

02:42.92
Bill
You know? but I think you may I think you may but um, but yeah it is. It's a very simplistic kind of bare bones. But um, based on what we're doing. Um I think riverside was getting they were getting too fancy for us. You know.

03:01.86
Mike
Um.

03:02.44
Bill
And you know just too many fucking things and I think they're they're trying to be more than they really need to be and I think what's what's happening or what's going to happen. This could be a ah wrong prediction on my end but they're going to end up pushing out small podcasts like us because we're not going to spend.

03:05.84
Mike
Right.

03:17.36
Mike
Um, yeah.

03:19.15
Bill
Thousands of dollars to have all this if we had this really high tech equipment and all these different things I'm sure it would work beautifully. You know so right? yeah.

03:22.40
Mike
Right? right? Yeah, but we don't We're plug it into computers with microphones and headphones and and doing the thing like we always have.

03:36.70
Bill
And even even this computer that I have is less than a year old. Um, if we were doing supposedly if we were doing video podcast even my computer wouldn't be up to speed literally with what is needed to handle video podcasting. So I'm like well fuck it. You know it's just it's ridiculous. So.

03:44.29
Mike
Is.

03:49.96
Mike
Right.

03:53.90
Bill
But anyhow enough ah that that ends this portion of tech talk ah back to you bike? Yeah hi but I know you you had a day you had a little bit of a this little bit of a running. Yeah, but I always say it you know we're we're recording on an odd day. Not a big deal. It's a Thursday but.

03:55.41
Mike
A Oh great. All right hi. But. Bright m.

04:12.29
Bill
Both of us had plans this weekend and actually tomorrow and this weekend so we can talk about that got a couple of things I want to I want to talk about with Branson but I'm a join that I'm enjoyed it here I fucking love it. You know so but couple of things on that and then I don't know you know, whatever, whatever else is on my sheets right.

04:26.30
Mike
Um, Jeff.

04:30.52
Mike
All right? Let's do a reading that hasn't changed. We'll try something here. Let's see. Um, yeah, it's just from this week. It was a pretty decent one I liked it. So ah.

04:31.64
Bill
But I think first of all, what do you say? should we do a reading that hasn't changed.

04:48.25
Mike
Yeah, wait which one is it? Ah, but but but but but oh yeah, all right may twenty fifth our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. It's that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. Maryanne Williamson apparently she's some self-help author whatever all right? Um, we attic scare ourselves when we get well we find out that we're smart. Good people. We find out that other people like us. We find out that the world needs people who are like us suddenly we realize that people expect us to do our share to share our talents energy and wisdom. We have something to give and we are wanted. We are not used to that when we were using. Work of everyday life went better for people when we stayed out of their way. We couldn't help ourselves and we couldn't help anyone else now with the help of our higher power. We can carry our own weight and we could help others too. It's called turning our life and our will over to the care of our higher power accepting care for ourselves and carrying it to others prayer for the day higher power help me see that it's now part of my job in life to share the light. You give me.

06:18.61
Mike
I can trust that you will give me the strength and wisdom I need to help others today's action those pesky pesky actions today I will remember 3 times when I felt a pull to help a person or a group in need. What. Did I do.

06:36.62
Bill
I Like that one I actually like that one a lot. So so to start off with you know I was sometimes like to start with the end part. So do you remember I mean what is it? What did it say again a time that you felt the the pull to help others. Um.

06:49.51
Mike
The pull to help right.

06:54.67
Bill
I don't know I mean have did anything pop into your mind with that like something when you're just like hey Mike I need I need to go help somebody.

07:02.18
Mike
Yeah, right? Um, well I mean yeah, you know it happens fairly often. Um, you know and what do I do I get up off my ass and go help them if I can. Um.

07:15.15
Bill
Right.

07:18.30
Mike
You know? yeah I mean there's you know I believe I end pretty much every episode with go out and do something nice for somebody and don't fucking tell anybody about it So I'm in a odd position here of ah, having to say what I you know.

07:27.17
Bill
Ah, right? ah.

07:37.15
Mike
Um, as shit. Well since it came up. Um you know, ah my next door neighbor right? She is a widow she is disabled. You know she lives by herself. Um I help her out with stuff. You know, um I'm out in my yard with the lawn Moer I go over and run it over her yard to you know? Um, she had a guy who took her garbage down to the road for her every week apparently he guy had some health issues and so she said hey can you do it and this was like I don't know a couple months ago and I've been doing it ever since? Um, you know? yeah, right? just little shit like that. But I mean you know, whatever and I mean she said something to me a couple times I mean she never asked me to do the ab thing. Um I just you know her fucking yard was getting overgrown and so I'm out there with my lawnmower i.

08:14.18
Bill
Ah.

08:28.13
Mike
I Want my neighborhood to look good. You know So um, it's It's one of those you know doing something for someone else makes my life better. You know I've got a nice yard next door to look at it as well. You know the the neighbors on the other side on the other hand. Um, you know they can handle their own shit and most of the time their yard looks like shit.

08:28.39
Bill
Right? right.

08:47.49
Mike
So um, ah yeah, you know so I do what I can where I can.

08:48.25
Bill
Ah.

08:54.83
Bill
It right? Yeah and that's ah, that's kind of what it I Guess what it really comes down to is the you know the it I didn't really think about it till you start talking about it. It's not.. It's not so much of I don't know for me feeling like the. The pull or or that sort of thing it just it just is what it is right? I mean that's kind of what based on what we were taught right? Yeah and you know it is. It's It's what we you know? It's the next right thing. It's what we were taught what we were shown how we were um how we were you know a basically molded.

09:15.49
Mike
Well, it did right? It's the next fucking right thing. So I guess I got to do it. Um.

09:29.19
Bill
Um, to act you know and to be you know so it just it just seems right? You know if somebody is sitting there and they need help. Um I mean we talked about this a million fucking times that 9 times out of 10 maybe 10 out of 10 if we're asked to do something. We don't want to fucking do it. It doesn't matter what it is who is for.

09:31.20
Mike
Right.

09:34.58
Mike
Move.

09:44.70
Mike
Um, right? Oh yeah, right out.

09:48.39
Bill
But but we do you know? and and even if we don't want to do it. You know we don't be. We don't sit there and be like fuck man I don't feel like doing this but I will you know because then then that's shitty that's being that's openly being a dick you know? yeah.

09:55.14
Mike
Right? Yeah, right, bitch it about it the whole time and yeah, right, Yeah, you know I get Okay I'm doing what you want me to do but I'm going to make you feel like shit while I'm doing it. That's kind of not the point.

10:09.22
Bill
Right? right? Yeah, exactly yeah making somebody making somebody feel bad when you're trying to actually what you should be doing is trying to make somebody feel good or making making their life easier and you know like you always say making our little order of the world. A better place right.

10:13.46
Mike
Ah.

10:19.37
Mike
Um, right? Yeah exactly? Yeah yeah, simple as that.

10:28.57
Bill
Yeah, right? But um, a few of the things I wrote down with that power Beyond measured I'll go back to that because I think that's a deeper thing but um, we find out We're smart and good people people expect us to share our talents. We're not used to it. Yay.

10:46.94
Bill
Um, we help others now we're just talking about that and then the the last thing that I wrote down on there which um is I guess kind of what we were just talking about I wrote down my job to share because that was part of the reading and it is. That's what we were taught. It's our job. You know again, practicing these principles in all our affairs.

10:49.92
Mike
Um, is that.

11:00.62
Mike
Um, this is.

11:04.32
Mike
Is.

11:06.34
Bill
That's what our job is now you know we became sober we went through this program. Um, we're in this program. We're working these steps on a daily basis. We're making a part of our life and yeah, it becomes our job to share whatever this better version Hopefully of ourselves is.

11:18.79
Mike
Light.

11:22.30
Bill
It is. It's our It's not only our job. It's our fucking responsibility least. That's how I feel you know.

11:24.61
Mike
Sure, Absolutely yeah, you know, bringing some light into the darkness you know who fucking thought that we had God damn lightness. But apparently we do.

11:30.60
Bill
Um, right? Yeah and then you know, smart and good People. You know they I always hear this statistic saying that you know sober people have some of the highest earning capacity of you know anyone in the. You know in the working world and all that stuff and I'm like I haven't necessarily made all the money in the world. But you know the the point of it is is that I I have the ability ah like we always say we're employable I've had a shit ton of what it feels like a shit ton of of issues when it comes with jobs either. You know.

11:50.50
Mike
Um, oh.

11:57.92
Mike
Right.

12:06.16
Bill
Things that I didn't like or things I did just to get by or you know, um I got downsized once I got laid off once I mean all these different things you know quote unquote happened to me but they were just light things that happened and it is what it is and and you know sometimes it took me. You know it took me a while to get back into what I.

12:07.51
Mike
Is.

12:19.15
Mike
Um, right.

12:24.83
Bill
Either wanted to do or or what I needed to do but um, you know it's It's not like I'm sitting around destitute I've thankfully been able to you know, sustain myself but the whole point is is that we have the the ability and the intelligence you know to to be good. Good decent human beings. Hopefully right.

12:39.80
Mike
Right? Absolutely yeah, you know and and we could fucking hustle if we have to you know we did it for the wrong things Now we can take that hustle and use it for good things.

12:45.78
Bill
Right? Yeah, right? Yeah and I think the the hardest yeah the hardest that I worked through this whole thing is when I was when I was doing uber and then when the pandemic hit because I was on was. Unemployment at the time or no I was unemployed I had whatever it was the hope that I was in the process of looking for a job because I had the last one went away and then um, yeah I was doing uber and then instacart and you want to talk about there. There's no fucking downtime. You know you uber do shit like that. It's.

13:05.60
Mike
Um.

13:18.66
Mike
Um, right Sinceson sure hurt right.

13:21.00
Bill
You know people people like oh yeah, do it on my own time. Whatever okay you can do that but you can't make any money that way you know, um I mean you have to be um I worked it like ah like a full time job I actually worked I know I did I worked more more hours you know, occupied more time than than I did with a a normal job.

13:34.76
Mike
Sure.

13:41.12
Bill
It just it was what it was but man it was yeah it was hustling a little bit fucking hard man. It's you know doing it even as a sideline thing and I did that for a while it was fine. Um, that's okay, but you know for people who are out there trying to make a living at it. It's it's hard. It's expensive. It's.

13:43.32
Mike
Is.

13:58.13
Bill
It's abusive on your vehicle. Plus I mean you talk about abusive fucking people and shit like that out there too. Um, yeah, and I've taken some ubers and stuff since then and I always tip I'm always nice to the people. Um like you know when I was up in Beaver Dam and finally got that uber and I I mean I had to eat something and I had pizza.

14:00.52
Mike
Um, right.

14:08.32
Mike
Um, bright. Ah.

14:17.93
Bill
Before I got in her car I said first of all I'm like I've been sitting here literally for an hour and a half trying to get an uber. So I said I have I have 3 slices of pizza in here. They're in a bag but I'm like if you don't want them in your car. It is what it is and she's like no no, no, just if you don't mind just hold on to him but put him on the floor I'm like okay I can do that. Like whatever you want I'll hold him out the window if you want me to I don't care. You know I haven't eaten yet and I get no food back where I'm going. But no I was trying to be respectful because I've been there, you know, but um.

14:40.41
Mike
Um, right? sure.

14:49.36
Bill
So being not being used to it. You know as far as being useful and having to share things I get that I mean that that kind of is what it is all this stuff is new. But um, you know the same thing though when it comes back to being being my job it just I keep going back to that thought that um I mean others do and part of it says expect us to share talents and.

14:51.83
Mike
E.

15:08.89
Bill
I remember to to begin with when we first got sober and you know you get to a point where even to this day I mean we're not bulletproof. You know I mean we're first ones who admit that we're only 1 drink or 1 drug away from being back to where we were within minutes. What do we figure 20 minutes 20 seconds yeah

15:18.14
Mike
Right? Yeah yeah, 20 seconds right yep

15:27.85
Bill
Ah, long. It takes to push the plunger in or chug a beer I mean it doesn't take that fucking long. Not even beer we could jug half a bottle of whatever alcohol we wanted to right now I was just thinking that said that I'm like you fucking weak ass. Go to near Fuck's wrong with you.

15:34.40
Mike
Oh yeah, right, Definitely not starting off with beer.

15:44.96
Mike
Ah.

15:47.12
Bill
What do you? you relapsed on a beer and what was it a light beer to yeah fucking pussy. But um, you know so you know I think that for the most part we're you know, pretty stable and I think people people you know, know we're stable but you know it got to the point when we first got sober that.

15:49.98
Mike
Is.

16:05.26
Bill
You know again when once people stop looking at his like is he okay is he under edge or whatever you know? then yeah, it's kind of weird you know people then expect you to do things with them and for them people expect you to show up on time and then all a sudden you know? yeah people expect you to be sober and stay sober you know.

16:10.18
Mike
Um, is.

16:13.78
Mike
Sure moon.

16:22.33
Mike
Um, yeah.

16:22.91
Bill
It becomes a a wonderful responsibility but it is. It's a it's I I don't know it's It's new and it's It's one of those things where it's like fuck man I guess I got to do this? ah.

16:30.68
Mike
Absolutely right? Yeah, well you know I mean you know I mean you know some of the stuff that's going on in my life right now and I mean I just I fucking looked at at Chris my girlfriend you know a couple of months ago and I said okay when the fuck did I become the responsible one here.

16:48.87
Bill
Ah, yeah.

16:49.53
Mike
You know and she looked at me and she said I don't know about fourteen years ago and I went. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, yes I am the stable fucking responsible one now and it's it is to you know? Fourteen years later it's still strange that I am.

16:56.16
Bill
Ah.

17:04.81
Mike
I am I'm fucking homeowner and I you know I've I've been employed steadily for you know, 14 years man and yeah, it's just it's fucking. Weird still weird.

17:13.99
Bill
Right? Yeah no I know I know and you know even just you know every once in a while and then you know Kimie has said it a couple of times I think the last time she said it was you know for for my birthday and I think she posted something on you know Facebook or Instagram or something like that. She's like. You know, happy birthday to the guy who you know drove drove 6 hours to spend 2 hours with his kids you know for his birthday. Um, and like you know I mean it's just they didn't it ever even crossed my mind I mean I had a great fucking time and when I first moved back to to Wisconsin I was living in Madison and I went out to see Derek.

17:37.61
Mike
If you see ah.

17:42.18
Mike
Right.

17:50.22
Bill
But the exception of in that year I think I missed 2 weekends maybe 3 one I think they were gone one I had car trouble and 1 it was weather or something like that. But I would drive 3 hours round trip and you know I mean he was he was young. He was you know 9 Wow.

17:57.10
Mike
Sure right.

18:05.92
Mike
That that point sure I use young teens right.

18:06.79
Bill
At that point probably 1213 yeah but I mean he still hits shit going out if nothing else he wanted to go hang out with his brother and whatever and you know so we go and have lunch I go back to the house I hang out for like 15 minutes like kind of like Chevy Chase you know, looking at the grand cany kind of like okay this is cool. Gotta go you know and.

18:12.79
Mike
This is.

18:20.39
Mike
Now.

18:25.77
Bill
And it was fine and I didn't care you know and as opposed to and I don't know if I ever brought this up on here. But when when Kimmie was little and um, her and or me and her mom split they moved up to Appleton and I lived in wakeshaw which was like the southwest side of this town. And it it was I mean probably almost to you know to the t or to the minute it was probably the same drive. You know that it was from madison to get out the german town so you know 3 hours round trip I used to leave from work on a Friday usually they work a little bit early and go pick her up. You know, but they would take me.

18:53.67
Mike
Right.

19:04.42
Bill
Because again, you know you're you're hustling traffic up north especially during the summer so I'd get up there I'd pick her up at 6 We'd get back to my place by seven thirty or eight o'clock on a Friday hang out to our Saturday and you know part of Sunday and then I'd have to have her back at 6 on Sunday so we're leaving you know it? Um I don't know.

19:12.41
Mike
Is.

19:23.80
Mike
Sure.

19:23.65
Bill
You know four o'clock or four thirty on a Sunday and then I don't get back until you know 7 thirty eight o'clock on Sunday and I bitched about that all the fucking time I was so fucking angry you know and I made everyone and that was that was the beginning of the end with her and I you know because it was.

19:34.12
Mike
Aha.

19:39.30
Mike
Right.

19:43.31
Bill
You know she obviously heard me and saw me acting out you know to her mom and then you know I was like asking her watch you want to come down watch just stay long watch this Why the Neckck Blah Blah blah you know? and um I would um ah probably say maybe once or twice.

19:46.44
Mike
Right? right.

19:54.99
Mike
Um, yeah.

20:01.68
Bill
Um, but rarely I wouldn't just drive back and forth in a day you know to go up and see her for something you know because it was I was like blank fucking doing that you know what in there's I loved my daughter at that time. Love her to death to this day you know, but it wasn't about that. It was about.

20:06.27
Mike
Um, sure right? yeah.

20:20.80
Bill
Where I was I was a fucking raging alcoholic and that that mindset in that narcissistic thinking it was literally all about fucking me and I thought about that when I moved back to Madison I'm like Jesus Christ you know this is literally the same and they were almost the same age at the time I was doing that with Derek you know.

20:23.36
Mike
Um, yeah, right.

20:35.46
Mike
Right.

20:39.55
Bill
And I'm like fuck man what a fucking piece of shit you know and I wasn't beat myself up on it I was giving myself as they say quote unquote Grace you know because I who I was at the time and um, you know I wasn't anymore. But um, those are the things that are tough to look back on. But um I mean i'm.

20:41.33
Mike
Yeah.

20:49.62
Mike
Um, right listen.

20:58.32
Bill
I'm proud of the fact of the relationship I have with my kids today and you know like we always talk about we continue to um, make up for things like that and it's that living amends on a daily and monthly and yearly basis right? yeah.

21:02.32
Mike
Um, listen.

21:08.95
Mike
Right? Absolutely Yep! So you're so you're saying selfishness and self-setedness was the root of your troubles I believe you did say I don't know s words yes self.

21:15.62
Bill
Is that what I said hang on hang on one second let me hold it wait is what how do you spell that self selfish and what selfish and self what yeah self centereredness. Yeah, no shit, no fucking shit right? but.

21:28.32
Mike
Centeredness. Yup.

21:35.26
Bill
The last thing um on here. But obviously the first thing I wrote down was powerful beyond measure. So what it in that was like in the beginning I think in the beginning opening part of it. There was another part of it with more. Yeah, so so Mike.

21:42.14
Mike
Um.

21:44.80
Mike
Yeah, that was that was the quote from the self-help guru He he.

21:53.95
Bill
I was gonna be like so what does that mean to you Mike but you know what I mean so powerful beyond measure I mean it just it was one as soon as I wrote that down I'm like huh it kind of made me think so no better way to put it. What are your thoughts on powerful beyond measure.

22:09.12
Mike
Yeah, um, well oh there are there are measurements to my power. Ah I have my limits and I am aware of them. Um, but I don't allow them to hold me back anymore.

22:11.70
Bill
Ah, ah, right.

22:24.39
Mike
I don't wo I'm not that good. So I you know right? That's that old fucking behavior. Um, right? No I I do have power and I do um, use it and um I don't let my limitations limit me if that makes sense. You know it's like you know? Yeah, okay man I'm um.

22:27.57
Bill
Right? right? like.

22:39.16
Bill
Right.

22:44.27
Mike
You know again, you know the shit that we don't want to do you know our first thought our first answer our first emotion to any of it is no I don't want to fucking do that. But we get up and we do it anyway, that's kind of what it means to me you know I have I have limitations to my powers. But um I better not fucking. Use that as an excuse not to use what I have.

23:05.26
Bill
Right? Well in in the other thing that I thought about and I was thinking about it kind of on the other end. So I'm glad you brought that up where you we get. We'll get both sides of the coin here I was thinking of it from the ego standpoint you know because when I thought about that I'm like yeah I mean we we can do some really cool shit now it doesn't matter what it is.

23:13.71
Mike
E.

23:23.84
Mike
Um, right right.

23:24.85
Bill
You know, ah pretty much anything. We put our minds to you know we can do if we work at it well enough or hard enough right? You know, but um, you know I since I read that statement I'm like yeah who don't you know who I think I am ah so I.

23:42.00
Mike
Um, yeah, ah right.

23:44.83
Bill
I Think that that you know we've got to be careful like you said, don't let our limitations but also don't let that fucking ego get in the way right? You know.

23:53.25
Mike
Yeah, right? and and exactly ah again once again that that B word balance you know, ah best or buttho.

24:00.80
Bill
Ah, was it sure where you were go with that I'm like bitch bastard balls.

24:09.92
Mike
Yes, all of the above. But yes, no balance right? Um, no I Again, my ego is not that fucking out of control that I realize I don't have unlimited power. Um, but but I do have power and I have to remember that as well balance.

24:12.70
Bill
Ah.

24:20.10
Bill
Right? right? Yeah and that's ah and yeah I I'm really glad you know I I don't I try not to compliment you too much I mean I I don't want you to get into your brain. Yeah I know but but you.

24:32.10
Mike
Right? Good move.

24:38.60
Bill
You bring that up a lot 2 things that you bring up a lot which I'm you know I'm really glad that you do because it it. It's always it always adds great and it adds wonderfully to whatever we're talking about you talk about balance a lot. You talk about freedom a lot and those are things that I mean.

24:48.99
Mike
E easy.

24:56.80
Bill
Just those in and of itself if somebody said that when I got sober you said? yeah, you're gonna please shit up. You're not gonna be a dick anymore at least not all the time you know you're gonna get some things back and relationships back but you're gonna have freedom and you're gonna have balance in your life I'd be like really um I'm good.

25:01.38
Mike
A a.

25:14.84
Mike
Um, right.

25:14.96
Bill
Give me those 2 things I mean if you think about it at the core of it when we first got sober we had no freedom in the life we were living and sure as fuck didn't have any balance in our lives. You know right.

25:21.66
Mike
Um, oh no, no I mean that was it's a big part of it man. We were very unbalanced I know I was.

25:30.62
Bill
Right? Yeah, there's there's no doubt. But yeah, that's just kind of I don't know that powerful beyond measure. It is true. We we can do you know people like what are you going to do when you get sober you know what a fuck I want I mean literally you know I mean not in a bad way. But I can I have the ability you know within my natural abilities and within my brain capacity.

25:42.52
Mike
Um, right now.

25:50.45
Bill
To do whatever I want as long as I do the work and keep my head in shape. That's all I got to do you know, pretty fucking simple which is nice so I like that one so that was one that was just from last Saturday then twenty fifth right cool the only reason I know that is it's just that's when the.

25:53.82
Mike
Um, right? Yep Absolutely yeah.

26:01.69
Mike
Yeah, yeah, whatever that was yes, he.

26:10.10
Bill
Um, now everything goes by airb a b dates when my when what I'm leaving 1 place and checking into another so but to anything else on the and the reading or feel good. Okay I like that I mean that was said that was a good one I'm glad I'm really glad that you brought that up and.

26:17.68
Mike
Um, right? No I think we covered some stuff there. It's pretty good.

26:28.30
Bill
I'll be honest with you I don't remember that one but I was up at like fucking 3 in the morning that day so it no shit I got up I get cause I wanted to lead by like 6 to get here in time you know, but so just a couple of real quick things. So I'm in and I I put it on Instagram but so I'm in Branson. Um.

26:29.63
Mike
Um CC seasons right this is

26:47.60
Bill
Not in the ozarks where I was the last time but I had popped in here when the first time I went to the ozarks I just was in the like the one area I had lunch and kicked around at whatever for half hour hour but um I'll tell you what man this whole and you know the the thing that is and when um and I had looked at it I think before I made the first trip. The whole ozark thing. You know all the hills mountains lakes all that shit it goes I mean a big part of missouri northern part of arkansas which I didn't realize to begin with but driving in here and I know you know because you've driven all over this area and I get that. But.

27:17.71
Mike
Um, is it.

27:19.90
Mike
Right.

27:23.92
Bill
These are all like do things. It's it's again I'm I'm having these that fucking moon moment again, you know, um because as I started to get into you know I'm in Arkansas and when I get the northern part again I'm hitting these rolling hills and these bluffs on the side of the freeway and it's just driving along going fucking a this is beautiful. You know.

27:27.36
Mike
The.

27:40.25
Mike
Is is.

27:43.12
Bill
Same deal when I get into Missouri and um, this area is almost identical in landscape to um what it was where I was I was in lake of the ozarks osage or o sage beach that whole area which I think is it's an hour maybe 2 hours northy here something like that.

27:55.27
Mike
This is.

28:00.62
Mike
Right.

28:03.70
Bill
But it's still it's it's almost the same thing. It's fucking beautiful just fucking beautiful and so I get here on Saturday and memorial day weekend Branson is a touristy town you know, ah you get to deal with that. We'll talk about your trip coming up this weekend. You're gonna have touristy shit going on. So.

28:05.23
Mike
Ah, yeah.

28:19.89
Mike
Um, yes I am.

28:21.62
Bill
I wanted to do I wanted to go the grocery store like I'll at least get my grocery shopping like my giant eagle shopping type of thing and usually I got to go to Alie and Walmart pick up a few things get that so I can actually have some dinner and whatever so the the grocery store. Whatever it is. It's not a kroger anything but decent store. Well.

28:26.67
Mike
This is.

28:39.79
Mike
Piggly wiggly he to right.

28:41.45
Bill
It's some off something price price chop or price something. Um, but nice and you know so so side note on that this is the first store that I've been to out of the area where I don't you know you can get the in-store things without having a card. You know.

28:56.86
Mike
Is.

28:59.65
Bill
I'm going through it I'm seeing all these things on sale and I end up you know, probably six seven dollars worth of stuff that I saved money on and I went to the cashier and I said do I need a card I said I'm visiting do I need a card to get the saving. She's like no, you'll get it automatically I'm like thank you? Um, but um, so you know i.

29:03.16
Mike
Is.

29:10.11
Mike
A.

29:17.53
Bill
Find the store and it's like 7 minutes away I'm like that's fucking convenient. So I drive out of where I'm at I go up this road and I literally stopped or upset in a stoplight because again it's Saturday night memorial day weekend but these cars it took me I was like fucking 10 minutes at a stoplight. It was crazy and then.

29:28.27
Mike
You.

29:35.30
Mike
Um, right.

29:36.90
Bill
You know, kind of getting through and I this I'm like oh fuck me, you know and I'm like once I get my shopping done tomorrow I'm not going anywhere near this side of town I had to go kind of through it to get to where I went by by the yakovpi off, let's say about that the second too. But um I'm like.

29:43.30
Mike
The instance instances. Yeah.

29:54.10
Bill
I'm not going near it I did all my fucking grocery shopping I'm going to parks I'm doing the hiking thing trails which are fucking awesome but man tourist see as fuck but a place I'm staying they're condos but it reminds me of um, kind of like the landscape and the the way the property's set up. There's a pond out there.

29:58.59
Mike
Um, with this.

30:11.69
Bill
Like the place I lived in Germantown. Obviously you were there a couple of times same same type of thing same type of feel and I get in here I get my stuff all set up and I'm like it is so fucking peaceful Saturday and Sunday I was here monday and then I I'm working on Tuesday and it's like ten o'clock in the morning maybe ten thirty

30:14.25
Mike
Um, so yeah, right? who.

30:23.42
Mike
Um.

30:30.86
Bill
And I start hearing like some rumbling going on upstairs and I saw a guy when I came in I knew there was I thought there was somebody upstairs but not a lot of people you know by Tuesday and then I started hearing like Don like and I'm like the fuck like is that a guitar. Oh sure as fuck and I'm like.

30:35.61
Mike
Listen.

30:45.78
Mike
A.

30:49.56
Bill
What it sounded like to me was there was a like some kids up there practicing like fucking band practice. You know? So maybe I'm sorry it wasn't ten o'clock I was like two o'clock in the afternoon because I remember when I took a break at 3 I actually walked up there because I because I'm like.

30:51.61
Mike
A.

31:04.10
Bill
Jesus Christ I'm like seriously every fucking place I go. There's something going on it. It was so fucking peaceful that guys I mean literally right above my head you know having his play as fucking dar. He's got the am turned up and I'm like who the fuck us dance. Yeah in like a condo at a house I get it. But so I walk upstairs.

31:08.24
Mike
Right.

31:18.65
Mike
Um, news right.

31:24.11
Bill
And I and I knock on the door in this fucking hobbit looking dude opens the door and it I'm just like ah the other guy he looked like it I thought about it afterwards in the movie scrooge The do that dies in the sewer that dude, whatever his name is That's what he looks like. Okay, so.

31:27.70
Mike
A.

31:38.53
Mike
Ah, right? okay.

31:43.25
Bill
So I'm like um band practice going on in there and he's like well I'm a musician and if I had a like I'll fucking care and I said I said just so you know though I said ah I'm I'm working and I said I work on the phone I'm working and I'm ah on the phone with businesses all day. So I said it just.

31:48.29
Mike
Shi a.

32:02.80
Mike
Um, this is.

32:03.80
Bill
It's mildly distracting that sounds nice about it. You know he's like well I'm a musician and he goes I I got a practice and he goes I got to practice at a at a certain level so it matches in him. My head him like matches what and he goes Well he goes I just.

32:12.51
Mike
For for for right.

32:21.99
Bill
I play you know I'm kind of here or there every once in a while it he is a little bit southerner you know and you know so he plays here and there and practices what I wanted he is like I'm almost done though and I said okay I said just so you know I'm here all week and he's like okay so I walk back downstairs and he fucking jams for another like 10 minutes and then wraps it up.

32:25.48
Mike
This is.

32:41.27
Bill
And I'm just like okay, fucking kidding be but dumb other than that and that wasn't even that bad. He wasn't a dick about it. It not like I've you know gotten an argument with the guy but um, seriously other than that this this place I mean it's fucking fabulous. It's just it's nice, nice and comfortable. You know so I like it I like this whole I like this whole area and.

32:41.48
Mike
Um, yes.

32:47.79
Mike
Right.

32:56.15
Mike
Cope. Um.

33:00.71
Bill
You are off on an adventure this weekend also through and.

33:03.66
Mike
I am yeah I'm going to Myrtle Beach yes Yes, um right it's my girlfriend crystal's birthday on next Wednesday this Wednesday whatever it is and yeah.

33:17.82
Mike
You know all she wanted for her birthday was all of her kids to be together. Um her son James lives down in South Carolina he's a couple hours away from Myrtle Beach so we figured the easiest way for all of us to get together would be to go down there. So that's what we're doing. Yeah yeah, so we're all gonna hang out and.

33:30.37
Bill
Right.

33:37.77
Mike
You know, spend we're gonna spend five days down there and um man it'll be fun.

33:43.69
Bill
That's cool. Yeah, and I couldn't I couldn't remember Actually how long you're going to be down there but that's nice I mean you'll I think you'll you'll enjoy it I mean it's um and I think you've said you've driven through there before that area. Okay.

33:54.50
Mike
I mean yeah, you know I've driven through everywhere. But yeah I've never actually but yes I've never actually been in Myrtle Beach and spent time I've been all over South Carolina and North Carolina blah blah blah but yeah um yeah so it'll be cool.

33:58.30
Bill
Ah.

34:09.99
Mike
You know I mean like you said it's It's gonna be touristy. Um, we've got we got a condo ah you know so the whole family's staying together. Um, yeah, it's gonna be cool man you know, hang out and cook and I watch some of them drink and.

34:10.94
Bill
Right.

34:25.75
Bill
Ah.

34:27.69
Mike
Yeah, it's just gonna be nice man everybody hast fed together god it's been proof. Um all four kids together hanging out like that. Um, it's been like 7 years yeah yeah yeah I mean i.

34:38.65
Bill
Oh my God really? well.

34:44.40
Mike
Last time we all were together and hung out like that for an extended period of time. Um was when Cameron was stationed down in Georgia and he got promoted so we all went down there partook of that. But yeah, yeah, so it's going to be cool I mean you know clearly. There's been like you know, 2 kids at a time and 3 kids at a time just got four kids. Um, yeah, so you know, um, it's gonna be cool. It's gonna be cool and my granddaughter Lydia is coming with us and you know yeah and cam's ah 2 daughters will be there and um, you know? yeah.

35:11.28
Bill
Nice.

35:19.73
Mike
And it's gonna be nice. Jess is bringing her boyfriend. Um, they've been together. They probably year and a half or so you met him. Ah Michael right? right? exactly? Um, but it's the first time that the the boys are gonna meet him so he's gonna get thrown into the fire and that'll be fun.

35:27.13
Bill
Yeah, yeah, the guy the the guy at the restaurant. Yeah.

35:36.36
Bill
Oh that's right? Ah right.

35:39.33
Mike
That'll be fun to watch right? Yeah, you know so it's going to be you know and Donny's husband's come in and yes, so it's it's all going to be good.

35:48.29
Bill
Well good. Yeah in that like I said that area are you guys on the beach where the condo is or no.

35:55.50
Mike
Yeah, yeah, we're like I don't I think um I know it's been a few months since we set all this up. But um I think we're like maybe the second or third building row buildings back from the beach. So we're close.

36:00.12
Bill
Right.

36:08.86
Bill
Right.

36:11.60
Mike
And I know we're up on like the fourth floor. So we're gonna be able to see the ocean and you know? Yeah yeah.

36:13.58
Bill
Right? Well you know in the cool part. There is too is that I mean all along that area because I kicked up and down I was in like North Bertle Beach and the heart of myrtle beach it which it sounds like probably where you guys are gonna be is you know as fifteen fifteen twenty minutes away in a dry probably.

36:24.55
Mike
Um, I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

36:33.40
Bill
Ten miles but maybe five miles. But um I mean there's there's my whole point is there's areas that you can access the beach I mean it's like every every 3 blocks there's public walkways to go through there unless you're in I suppose ah an exclusive neighborhood where it's all properties. But.

36:34.59
Mike
Um.

36:41.44
Mike
Um, oh yeah, bright.

36:48.73
Bill
Um, yeah, you guys could get on the beach without any issue look like so well, that's cool and you're flying down there Obviously right now that's cool.

36:50.73
Mike
Oh yeah, right? Yep yeah, yeah, yep, we have we're leaving Saturday we'll come back. Um Wednesday afternoon. Yeah.

36:59.61
Bill
Cool. Well, that's nice. Yeah, like I said you know same thing that the touristy thing and literally I had to you know I had to go into into town and in the same area. You know when when I was doing my grocery shopping. Oh and that's how I went by the the whole yakov thing So when.

37:15.52
Mike
Just.

37:17.97
Bill
When you had when you had made that comment on Facebook or whatever was you know say hi to oh tech. Oh that's right I forgot yeah as and I forgot where you said it. But yeah because I text everyone when I got down here.

37:21.90
Mike
Know a text. Yeah, it was ah it was the family text. Great. Yeah, the group text for Kathy and all that right I said say how do yaakov smiran off for me. Is is.

37:36.83
Bill
And then it didn't really click in my head that it was here because I'm like god is that something that's here I'm like I remember the Dolly Parton restaurant whatever I was in I don't want to say completely I was on the other side of Branson where where I stopped before over by the river part I'm on the I'm basically on the west side of Branson but there's a you know, like again all the.

37:41.46
Mike
2 Ah.

37:53.43
Mike
Um, you.

37:55.57
Bill
Tourist these shits around you. Whatever so um, the there was an aldie but it was like 20 minutes away and it was fine again. 20 minutes away because I had to go through all this fucking traffic. You know, um, not all of it. But so I get over there and.

38:03.82
Mike
Is it.

38:09.37
Bill
You know Gps runs me down this one road and I'm riding along and it fucking windows open I got my shit playing my music playing and then all of a sudden I look at I'm like oh fuck I missed the the turn I mean I didn't see a road you know so I turned turned around came back and I missed it again and I'm like what the fuck it looked like a driveway you know.

38:24.66
Mike
Is.

38:26.89
Bill
But it was this this road that went in into where you know his theater is and then ah, another road that cuts back kind of goes around to where you can get to al the so as I'm coming back and I turn it in I look up and I'm like Holy Fuck This dude's you know, fucking yakov Big Monster fucking head on a billboard run it into there.

38:29.74
Mike
D.

38:41.36
Mike
The out This is.

38:45.76
Bill
I I pulled in and I saw it I'm like son of a bitch I'm like I got to stop there on my way out because I wanted at least get into all to get my shit done. So I came back out the same way and that's what I took just those couple of pictures. But that's what I posted I'm like yeah this is for Mike and it was um, nobody was there I mean whatever day that was Sunday you know I mean nobody was there. But.

38:54.62
Mike
Is.

39:01.27
Mike
Right? um.

39:04.60
Bill
Um, all over to place. There's a couple of it's like get tickets get have Pep price tickets I mean you know clearly he's kind of a big deal around here that the show is I guess because I mean it's It's a pretty good size place too I mean that the theater approached pretty good times.

39:12.18
Mike
By yeah, no yeah, right? Well and I mean I know I believe Andy Williams has a theater down there and ah the osmond brothers have a theater down there and hey yeah.

39:22.49
Bill
9 Ah, interesting right? and I tell you I mean the I I don't know I mean it's just the maybe it's an age thing I'm sure now I don't even know we went. We went through the dells years ago when.

39:28.24
Mike
It's a bit. It's a thing man.

39:40.00
Bill
When I was younger with mom and Larry and it's like I could be in that touristy shit for about a half hour even as a kid I wasn't a touristy type of thing. This was a water park I mean I only play mini golf that's same thing as you know any other of these touristy places fucking mini golf you'll you'll see that myrtle beach.

39:44.77
Mike
CCCCC c

39:53.88
Mike
Um, sure oh yeah, will probably end up doing it.

39:56.17
Bill
There's mid golf places every every fifteen feet you know yeah yeah and they look that very cool. They're I mean they're busy as fuck too. You know? um, but god I just I have no fucking patience for any of that anymore I'm like I just I'm gonna go I want to go see nature shit I want to.

40:02.52
Mike
Mrs.

40:11.64
Mike
Right.

40:14.51
Bill
That fucking touristy stuff. Although you know again is a group if it was a group of people I don't know I mean I may that that I would be opposed to it. But as far as my myself. What am'm gonna go I could I mean I not afraid to go if I could do things on my own. Ah 1 please play mini go. Ah.

40:17.35
Mike
Yeah, right.

40:32.60
Bill
1 ticket for yakoff I want to laugh. Yeah, it is the tag light is laugh here laugh your yakoff um is this where I get tickets to to laugh my yakoff. Um, ah what please is.

40:34.30
Mike
Right? Can I get an uncle seat.

40:41.82
Mike
Ah, ah, may yak my laugh off right.

40:52.75
Bill
Sarah Dark spot the theater where I guess sit by myself all right man. So um I fuck it I think I'm done talking about that. What do you think I think it's about time for a break. That's a good pot for it right.

41:02.49
Mike
It is it definitely is well. We'll be back with more yaing off right? after these words from our sponsor.

41:18.81
Bill
All right? everyone.

41:21.50
Mike
See.

41:26.15
Bill
Ah, welcome back? Um I okay so um, again, peeling back the curt a little bit. Ah I mute when Mike does his reading um mute I mute when he does um his his ending when he you know.

41:37.15
Mike
I Know you do.

41:44.26
Bill
Do something nice for it and whatever blah bla blah um I don't mute when we do that because we've said it before I mean it's just it's I need a point of 7 to 8 seconds where I can cut the episode and that's where we put our promo for our website but I never think to mute.

41:49.67
Mike
Um.

41:59.51
Mike
Um CCC c

42:04.14
Bill
This time we' be back more yaing off I sat here it literally just head my hand in front of by fucking mouth trying not to laugh. Um, once again, my friend. Thank you.

42:08.41
Mike
A.

42:17.84
Mike
Um, please.

42:20.10
Mike
He you're quite welcome spreading that joy.

42:23.94
Bill
Thank you! Oh Jee I don't know I just don't know why what it is every once's in a while somebody's fucking stupid as juvenile things that you say um, just catch me. You just fucking make me laugh. So um.

42:36.67
Mike
Her.

42:43.53
Bill
So any any you people out there. Do just do it a podcast on your own. You're fucking missed it out because or or maybe you if you're doing it with somebody make make sure they're funny. That's all that's all that you need right? or they say stupid shit every once in a while. So um, all right? ah onto some stuff. Oh I finished.

42:50.12
Mike
Right? That's it.

43:01.71
Mike
Um, now cool.

43:02.38
Bill
Rob Halford's book. So um, once again and I'll say it Rob Halford he is the lead singer for the band Judas priest even if you don't know who that I apologize Mike okay, let me let me step back.

43:09.64
Mike
He is the metal God say it right.

43:17.47
Bill
Rob Helford is Mike can you explain who Rob Halford is let's do this the right way. That's it. Yeah yeah, no right? well.

43:18.80
Mike
He is the metaldal god what? that's it? Yeah yeah, he's the metal guide. Let's to you need more. You don't need more is the fucking metal god Rob fucking Halford from judis fucking priest.

43:36.32
Bill
Yes, thank you Mike um, so I apologize but so for and I've said this before his book is called confess I did the audio book which is like I shit I think like 13 hours I'm not joking. It was long and it took between I think I started it. Um.

43:49.12
Mike
Nice. Did did it take about 13 hours

43:54.70
Bill
Two months ago when I started traveling. No it did it did but I didn listen to it like nonstop while I was driving or I would have had it done and you know two of my drives but really good. Did you know that he had that the metal guy he had um trademarked. Okay, yeah, it was.

43:59.95
Mike
Right.

44:08.82
Mike
I did not but yeah, makes sense right.

44:14.54
Bill
I didn't even write that down. But when you said that um it was I don't know how many years he was into it. But finally he's like he goes you know what he goes he goes like yeah he goes I went ahead and he goes I got a trademark because he goes I don't want forget how he put it but somewhere along the lines out of because I wouldn't want anyone out there. You know trying to try to use the term in the wrong way or something like that. It wasn't even like using his name in the wrong Way. He's just like I It's like I know what it is I know what it means I know who I am he goes I don't want somebody fucking with type of thing. It was just it was wonderful. Wonderful But dumb. Yeah, exactly.

44:34.74
Mike
Um, yeah, right.

44:40.98
Mike
Right? right? Can't take hal for it's name in vain.

44:49.26
Bill
So a couple of things that that I learned did you know, um, or let let me ask you this. Do you know when he actually came out in public.

44:56.60
Mike
I was like the late 80 s or say like 89 somewhere around there right? right? Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah

45:00.82
Bill
Yeah, and it was it was on Mtv in an interview completely unplanned because I think that you know over the years I mean clearly you know people people thought people knew this that and blah blah blah. So it always got brought up but he would he would just you know, kind of step aside and just side step the question.

45:18.26
Mike
Is is.

45:20.82
Bill
And the way he explained the story is when this it it was some young Mtv interviewer whoever the fuck it was some no name that was interviewing him asked the question or a question like that and for whatever reason he was just like fuck it. You know in his head so he said I ah.

45:25.34
Mike
Right.

45:34.31
Mike
Air.

45:39.11
Bill
Ah, something. However, he put it just flat out I'm a gay man I've been a gay man I've known but I've been this and that and blah blah Blah I Want the world to know him whatever and he said to look at the guy face. He said he was just you know, just kind of like flabbergasted because he realized that he just got this literally this huge.

45:42.71
Mike
Right? He he.

45:54.44
Mike
Princes. Right.

45:57.53
Bill
Fucking exclusive just landed in his lab. Unexpectedly and I don't remember what happened afterwards but he said it was actually kind of funny because a guy didn't know what to say? Um, but so that I thought was interesting and then afterwards this I thought was great. This this reminded me of sobriety things so he had obviously the. The outpouring of people you know he thought he'd lose fans which he lost some you know thought would ruin his career which it didn't but he said the outpouring of you know like love and support and all that sort of stuff and you know obviously that he got for that was cool but he said that um you know friends and family.

46:19.45
Mike
Um, yeah, right.

46:32.58
Bill
Contact him shortly after that you know after the interview saying congratulations but also saying we knew for years you fucking idiot. But yeah, it's kind of like it as soon as he said that it's like you know us thinking that nobody knew we were a fucking alcoholic. You know.

46:39.53
Mike
Right? he.

46:47.67
Mike
Exactly.

46:51.85
Bill
But um, the other thing is that he reads a meditation book every night he didn't say what it was or if he did I didn't catch it but he says that um he if he doesn't read it. He can't sleep which I thought was cool kind of like us. You know we if we don't do it in the morning it fuck up our day. Um, and then.

46:57.28
Mike
Um, Bright m.

47:05.93
Mike
Um, is bright.

47:10.41
Bill
Did you know about the whole prostate cancer thing. Okay, so what? what it was is the you know the whole book went through and ended and whatever and um, he said he came back in and shit it was like another might have been another hour of content.

47:13.43
Mike
Ah, yeah I think so yeah.

47:29.26
Bill
He said a lot of times when people do audio books which I guess I never paid attention to but said a lot of times after the first year whoever published the book will say hey we want you to pop back on record another you know, short statement kind of update everyone on what's what.

47:41.14
Mike
Um.

47:44.44
Bill
And he said you know 90% of people just come back on and like oh things are good. This happened a couple of updates you was where it's maybe a 10 or 15 minute addition to the book and he's like he's like this is not one of those so he went through the whole thing you know about where it came from when he first should've got checked and this and that and the way he went through it and.

47:48.22
Mike
E.

47:54.88
Mike
So so.

48:04.33
Bill
It was. He's explaining that the the whole thing in and of itself I mean if um, if you just paid for the the audiobook to listen to that part. Um, he handles this whole tragic and he's fine Now you know it's in revision. But um, he handles this whole thing.

48:16.56
Mike
Um, this is.

48:20.40
Bill
Um, with I mean just a lot of true feelings and emotions but on top of that a lot of fuck it huor and just I mean you know again, it's prostate cancer Now they check him out. You know he's gay and he's bringing up all these different things. It was fucking hilarious that one time he said the doctor was going to checkup out take ah take a sample.

48:25.53
Mike
Is is.

48:31.89
Mike
Truth you think.

48:39.56
Bill
Goes He pulled out. You know this thing he goes. He's about to stick this up by ass and he goes he pulls out this dildo. Whatever it was is this thing this whole contraption I'm just like oh this fuck funny but dumb Yeah I mean the book I Highly recommend it I mean he's he is. He's so much fucking fun.

48:44.28
Mike
She.

48:55.82
Mike
This is.

48:57.87
Bill
To listen to and his stories are um I'll say epic I Hate the word but they are. They're just it's fucking Amazing. It's great. I'm so glad so glad I listened to her. Yeah.

49:00.87
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, here's he's a fucking good dude bad you know? Yeah, absolutely you know living the life man doing the thing. It's good. Yep.

49:14.43
Bill
Right? Yeah and he's I think he's coming up on or he might be 70 now and I he said his 8 like he's come. He's coming up on his at least in his late at least in his middle late sixty s I think but I think he's he's approaching 70 but he said yeah he goes I'm not he goes I'm not done. He goes I'm not stopping. He's like fuck it.

49:19.54
Mike
This is.

49:33.80
Bill
I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing until I can't do it anymore. Yeah, exactly whenever whatever this was it was because he talked about the bende pandemic I didn't look at the date of the book. It's probably 2022 or 23 and I think maybe 22 is when he did the book 21 22

49:34.54
Mike
Yeah, right up fuck there on tour right now.

49:50.94
Mike
Um.

49:51.67
Bill
Um, and I think 23 is when he did the update you know, but um, but yeah I mean he said you know because they were talking about getting back out on tour after the pandemic and blah blah blah. But so yeah, they're touring again now huh? Yeah, so um I know I've occupied a lot of time on on these last.

50:00.90
Mike
Yep yep, they're out right now.

50:08.80
Bill
You know, probably 4 or 5 episodes with him but I tell you what man? um I was sad when the book was done. yeah yeah I would I would go out and I I don't know if he's I don't know if he's written anything else or or audio booked anything else but man it was fucking good. It was just again highly recommended. so so yeah

50:11.27
Mike
Um, right? he.

50:25.31
Mike
Absolutely.

50:28.65
Bill
Metal God So you yeah, you heard a couple I you knew about the the trademark thing I was able to give you a new piece of information so that was cool all right? So um, next thing I have in line just something I wrote down from keep it simple addiction made my world so small. It made my future So dark.

50:36.84
Mike
Um.

50:47.70
Bill
Today I'll list 3 new choices I want to make to better my life now. The only reason I wrote that down and I know that we don't necessarily you know both of us kind of you know, flow through things and just try to do the next right thing and stuff like that. But I didn't.

50:51.14
Mike
Is.

50:59.91
Mike
Right.

51:03.94
Bill
Put any thought into it whatsoever. But I thought it might be an interesting thing to to think about could you even list again. What whether is one two or 3 things new choices that you want to make to try to better your life anything right out the top of your head.

51:18.93
Mike
He ah win the lottery now. Um you know what? um I don't know if it's that sad or not or or really fucking wonderful. But um.

51:24.30
Bill
Ah.

51:34.62
Mike
My life is pretty fucking good right now and um, you know I just keep doing what I'm doing Um I'm happy. You know there's There's no big changes I need to make in my life right now. Um you know I mean I can always do better of course. Um, but now there's I mean you know works Decent. It's Work. You know I I need to do that to make money and I don't hate it. So There's that you know most of the time. Um, and um.

52:03.79
Bill
Um, right.

52:11.60
Mike
Yeah I mean you know my personal life I'm I'm in a wonderful relationship and um I've got family and um, this shit not there. There are no changes I I really want to make right now now. Yeah.

52:25.83
Bill
Right? Yeah and you know the it when I whenever I I copy that down or um, whatever the case is I literally I know I put no thought into it. But as you were talking about it. It made me think about the fact of you know if. If either 1 of us. Um, you know had 3 things right? off the top of our head that would probably mean that there's whatever life we're living right now we're living a life of some sort of regret right? I mean wouldn't that you know which I yeah and a year ago. Um.

52:52.80
Mike
Um, right? Yeah, absolutely.

53:01.37
Bill
But it does it mean? Yeah I think a year ago I could have answered 2 things right? off the bat. You know I wanted a new job and I wanted to travel you know, um you know, but but that didn't that just that was I don't know about you know making my to make a better life. Those were I don't know and having a job that you don't hate.

53:06.78
Mike
Um, right.

53:19.51
Mike
Right move.

53:21.30
Bill
Does make your life better. So I guess that would have been one but I have that now again, my my job's work. It's not necessarily easy. This month is is been a rough fucking month and you know I it? Yeah, we would go back as a side note talk about ego shit Whatever when I first you know I started and.

53:26.68
Mike
Um, right? so.

53:38.72
Bill
Me and the other guy I mean we're doing this. We're doing that We're kind of like the almost like the golden boys and all that stuff and they're talking about us all the time and you know I'm I'm not that anymore. Not this month you know and I don't like being at the bottom of the pack and I am you know in this new group. Um, but the same thing. The only thing that.

53:53.19
Mike
Ah.

53:58.58
Bill
I'm not upset about it. Um, it makes me work just as hard. There's nothing more I can do you know I can't work necessarily any harder because if I thought to myself that well I got to work harder and I got to make more calls or do whatever than what that means is that I wasn't doing what I should do to begin with which is untrue.

54:02.42
Mike
Right.

54:12.98
Mike
Right? right.

54:17.55
Bill
You know I just I was in like you know, basically in in a two week low because this week is starting to pick up. You know' I'm kind of making up and I having you know I've got one more day to hit I need another. You know three $400 in fee to hit my my on paper goal it I'll hit it. You know it's not a problem.

54:23.13
Mike
This is.

54:32.92
Mike
This.

54:35.92
Bill
Um, it's not there yet. But I think I'll hit it and you know, but it is. It's um, it's work you know, but um, the rewards are going to be there and I get to travel now and I get to do these things and um, you know it's just I'm still kind of getting my feet under me you know financially I Been honest with you. You know with everyone.

54:41.32
Mike
Sure.

54:47.40
Mike
Is is.

54:55.63
Bill
You know, um I got these these trips have not all been paid for 2 of them out of all the trips I've taken 2 of them have been paid for and 2 of them have not been ooh I booked a new one I'll tell you about that one in a minute. Um you know, but it's given to me the ability where I have the money to do it if somebody's willing to to finance me over here.

55:01.68
Mike
Right? he.

55:13.21
Mike
Is is.

55:15.37
Bill
And the year not that big of a deal and it doesn't go against my my debt ratio who wouldn't fucking. Do it. You know I can afford it I'm gonna I gonna throw this shit over here and then you know pay off some stuff over here and do all these other things. But yeah today I mean to to your point man I again I there's nothing.

55:18.41
Mike
Um, right by. Absolutely yeah.

55:28.86
Mike
Um, right.

55:34.26
Bill
I Don't have any regrets right? now you know in my life and you know nothing I Like you said we can always make our life. We can always do things to be better. But I don't think there's anything that I would need to write down to be like okay well fuck man I got to do that.

55:34.36
Mike
It is.

55:40.18
Mike
Sure.

55:49.56
Mike
Yeah, exactly yeah right? I mean yeah, that's just it. You know if there were some major changes that I need to make in my life. That means that I'm that I'm not doing what I need to do right now. Um you know and I wasn't doing what I needed to do yesterday. Um.

55:59.73
Bill
Right.

56:06.36
Mike
You know? So yeah I did do what I needed to do yesterday. Well I'm doing what I need to do right now. And yeah, there are no major changes I need to make in my life. It feels pretty fucking. Good.

56:13.80
Bill
Right? Well and you know like you talked about you know the the house I It at this point my life I I am extremely happy being be this version of homeless I'm fucking ecratic it. It's it's yeah and you know what.

56:25.11
Mike
They write a vagabond.

56:32.67
Bill
I Fucking love it and you know I don't I don't want to own. It's not my goal right now in my life. It's my goal I don't have a goal to ever own a piece piece of property again could change I mean it could change I don't have a goal to be married again. Okay, but that could change I don't know.

56:34.65
Mike
Um, right.

56:39.72
Mike
Um, the.

56:44.33
Mike
Um, right right.

56:50.13
Bill
I'm not ah, always or never type of guy thankfully anymore you know so who fucking knows now you mentioned relationship First of all Chris I know you listen to this I love you. You know we love you? Um I don't have to say that for Mike.

56:54.39
Mike
Um e.

56:58.62
Mike
He right I flew to yeah isn wasn't.

57:05.78
Bill
But um I adore her and she's wonderful and you know I I know she knows that but I'll say it anyhow but but the thing of it is is that you know when that happened for you guys. Neither one of you guys you know, forced it all this shit just kind of came together and you guys have this thing and it's really cool.

57:20.37
Mike
Um, by by.

57:23.86
Bill
You know it's cool and it's comfortable and it's beautiful. You know and I don't even have I love spending time with people I love being around people love being around dudes I Love being around people of the opposite sex I Love being it around somebody you know, romantically and all those sort of things who doesn't you know? but I don't stress about it anymore.

57:32.67
Mike
Um.

57:38.62
Mike
Um, right right.

57:43.37
Bill
You know I don't try to force that shit E but anymore because all it does is it gets fucked up. You know so when and if I'm open to it I'm not trying to shut myself off it. It cracks me up sometimes when I.

57:47.32
Mike
This is.

57:57.71
Bill
Because I see it on social media every once in a while. It's like well I'm taking a break for dating I'm done with women I'm done with guys I've done dating for a while I'm like why do you have to even fucking announce it The thing of it is I mean I mess her on a dating apps. Everyone said Wow they're more. They're more. It's more amusing to me than anything.

58:05.50
Mike
Um, ah ah, right.

58:14.63
Mike
Easy right.

58:16.67
Bill
But I met some nice people over the years at dating apps but it's just happened I haven't forced it. You know, but I'm I'm always hoping to be dating I mean I just I don't understand that I'm okay I'm put myself back on in the market now. Um, okay so what changed from 2 minutes ago when you said you weren't dating I mean what.

58:23.51
Mike
A right? This is a who.

58:36.46
Bill
Did you put a first sales sign on you like a fucking car like ah a a who. But anyhow so um I don't know I just think that that made me think about that. Yeah, the regret thing and um, thankfully and we talked about that shit. What was that those couple months ago we were talking about regrets and um.

58:55.44
Mike
Um, now not a 1 right? not right now and right now is all that matters.

58:55.94
Bill
I think both of us were happy to say that we don't have any like like stop today right? It is I think we're living in the moment as they say right? So um, and this is kind of funny because I I don't again. No no regrets here either. But. Wrote down a couple of things that I had as gary questions when when he was on but I forgot to ask him 1 of them was relapse prevention which we don't have to talk about but I wanted to get Gary's what gary does or what his mindset was on that. Um because I know what we do I mean we just.

59:19.19
Mike
Okay.

59:27.15
Mike
Reasons.

59:31.68
Bill
Again, do the next right thing do our readings work our shit and whatever and that's our that's our quote unquote relap relapse prevention. Um, but the 1 thing that I was going to ask him and there's a story behind it which you kind of brought it up or the reason I wrote it down um surviving a relationship with a significant other. Um.

59:31.92
Mike
Right? yeah. Ah, yeah.

59:50.56
Bill
When do you get sober so neither one of us were involved in a relationship um company I don't think E he would what a happens? Um, um, actually you know what I had taken myself off the market that point I I chose.

59:53.60
Mike
No no, he no no put up with our bullshit at that point. No yes, they has son I way fuck it off.

01:00:10.67
Bill
I chose not to be dating at that time frame now. Yeah right? but dumb. But I know there's a lot of people and there was a ah the reason I wrote it down is it was a podcast that I was listening to and I'll tell you this story in a second. But.

01:00:12.86
Mike
Yeah, all the choices I had in my life at that point right? That was one of the many choices I made.

01:00:28.80
Bill
I Know for a fact because we've seen it with people that have've either been in a whether it's a a relationship right? after they get sober which obviously is frowned upon for a lot of reasons that that are understandable but when you're in a relationship specifically a marriage when you get sober.

01:00:30.20
Mike
Is.

01:00:39.20
Mike
Um, Aha umm.

01:00:46.52
Bill
Um, the unfortunate part is a lot of times those relationships fail and there's no better way to put it. But you know that the 2 people enter a relationship at the same starting gate and then at some point when the person gets sober they're they're sort of on a different plane. You know, not better. Yeah, exactly.

01:00:46.63
Mike
Um, um, right.

01:01:03.32
Mike
Right? Hopefully no yeah but you're right changes are made right? exactly fundamental changes are made and and and yes, um, quite often that this relationship doesn't survive that which makes sense you know and I mean ah and.

01:01:06.32
Bill
You know, not and that's your right right.

01:01:15.87
Bill
Ah, right? yeah.

01:01:20.17
Mike
A lot of times the person gets sober and you know the other person is like well fuck. You know I've been taking care of you that that's my role and and they they don't like the fact that they can't take care of you anymore.

01:01:34.26
Bill
Right? Yeah, and and you know what? the the fact that you brought that up that is exactly what was not from the doesn't like the fact of but the the fixer part the taking care apart. What was brought up on the podcast. So.

01:01:43.92
Mike
This is this is right.

01:01:49.92
Bill
In in this individual talked about this openly on their episode I'm not going to say which podcast it was and I'll keep be keep it vague but the story was the the individual she she's been sober now for a few years. Definitely got. You know she's got her feet under her now is their second marriage and great relationship. But but they did they met in.

01:02:02.80
Mike
Um, this is.

01:02:09.70
Bill
You know in their in their party mode you know and um, neither one of them were like crazy but that she went off the the crazy end and you know she needed to get sober and she did and her husband not necessarily a like a huge party or but he was with her and that's what they did. You know it's kind of like like is a is a couple.

01:02:09.47
Mike
Right.

01:02:15.80
Mike
M.

01:02:23.85
Mike
Are.

01:02:28.28
Bill
Think about it like it I just popped into my head like mom and Larry when when Larry Died Mom was literally lost not just because she lost her her spouse but because they did everything together their their world in their circle was very small. They had the same friends. They didn't.

01:02:31.21
Mike
By.

01:02:38.90
Mike
Um, right.

01:02:47.35
Bill
You know the friends that they saw you know were either different states different whatever but it was the same thing their life was them you know and this is what it is with this individual and her husband is that they did all these things you know on the weekends they would do this and they go out just for lunch and they'd have this and whatever they go to certain areas for that reason.

01:02:52.49
Mike
Right.

01:03:06.33
Bill
And when when those things started to change. Um, it's like almost a I don't know was on both ends you know like she felt a little almost a resentful sort of sort of thing because you know either some of the change wasn't happening on his end and then maybe he felt that because again he didn't have to fix anymore. Didn't have to you know.

01:03:15.10
Mike
Is.

01:03:22.50
Mike
Right.

01:03:24.70
Bill
Help or whatever the case was and I'll tell you it was one of the episodes I don't really like the kids say get all about the feels on you know these podcast episodes I Just don't you know? um I've listened to them now for a couple of years and you know I've gotten to know them. You know from doing that. Um.

01:03:33.65
Mike
2 from thousand.

01:03:40.18
Mike
Sure right.

01:03:44.21
Bill
First of all, she's a genuine person seems very sweet, a good human being all those sort of things and you know she was just really raw and really open when she was explaining all these things and I'm like fuck me, you know and I thought about it and like ah like a so joking to begin with yeah. We made the choice quote unquote not to be in a relationship at the at the time we got sober but I know how I don't know for a fact I got a pretty god damn good. Good idea that if I was with somebody even if they weren't a problematic drinker I think it would have been challenging.

01:04:04.79
Mike
Um, is.

01:04:14.38
Mike
Is.

01:04:20.36
Bill
To continue a marriage if I got sober the other person didn't you know what? I mean so I mean agree or disagree.

01:04:23.90
Mike
Um, right? right? Oh yeah, I mean right? you know and then you know they don't have a problem but part of. How they have fun is imbibing a little and whatever maybe a little more and whatever you know, but that's and that's Fine. You know we've talked about that plenty of times on here. Some people can and some people can't but if you're partner the person you're living with and you know having a life with quote Unquote. Um.

01:04:40.18
Bill
Right.

01:04:57.65
Mike
Still wants that to be a part of life and can have that to be part of their life. Yeah, that's got to be pretty fucking tough to you know, especially in early sobriety I mean if I you know I mean we've talked about it. Chris is a normy um, you know like I said earlier I'm gonna go watch some of her kids drink this weekend.

01:05:13.54
Bill
Right.

01:05:16.96
Mike
You know and their spouses and whatever and that's fine. It doesn't bother me I can be around them and I have and I will of the future and it's all cool man. Um, because you know they can and I can't they get up the next day and do what they need to do and it's fine. Ah, you know.

01:05:34.38
Bill
Ah.

01:05:35.85
Mike
Um, right? But if if that was you know and if I got into a relationship now you know like I said Chris has a glass of wine occasionally um and it's fine. You know, um I mean obviously there's been times where we've been out and in situations I'll go go ahead. You know. You can do that. It's not going to bother me and I truly mean it. Um and most of the time she goes no I'm fine. You know and she is. She's one of those weird people that can just live their life without it. Um, but um, yeah, you know so I mean at this point in my life if I was single. Um.

01:06:01.42
Bill
Right.

01:06:12.82
Mike
I think I could be in a relationship with someone who occasionally had a drink occasionally smoked a joint Occasionally whatever you know I don't know about occasionally going on on the weekend doing some Coke or something that might be a little bit of a problem. Um, ah.

01:06:25.87
Bill
Like get jamming the needle in their arm Recreationally right.

01:06:29.88
Mike
Yeah, well and yeah, right? Yeah, Well you know? but I mean there are people that um you know will pop a pill or 2 with that drink on a weekend. You know to enhance it. That's you know, Fine. Um I don't know if I could hang out with them for any length of time I could certainly spend an evening with someone like that it wouldn't bother me it really fucking wouldn't Um, but yeah, you know to be truly in a relationship with somebody who was actively. You know able to do that.

01:06:49.91
Bill
Right.

01:07:02.91
Mike
Um I don't know if I could be around it all the time you know, even if it wasn't all the time you know. But I mean you know seriously solidly once or twice a month they're going out and getting it on and having a good time. Um I don't know you know I mean.

01:07:03.55
Bill
Right.

01:07:20.80
Mike
Go do it with your friends. Go do it with people who can do it I'm not going to go along for that ride because quite frankly, it's fucking boring. Yeah.

01:07:27.47
Bill
Right? Yeah, yeah, and um I don't know and I you know getting back to to dating and dating apps and stuff like that. There's been I've I've hung out with and dated people since I've been sober that are sober people.

01:07:41.29
Mike
And right.

01:07:43.68
Bill
And I dated people that are not sober people and one one individual that that I was hanging out with and when we first met and usually the the way that I handle that usually again, it's dating apps. You know, um, talk to people if you can't if I don't really know based on their profile if they drink. Couple of messages back and forth seeing if the person can have a conversation and then you know, um, hey a little bit about me and it's one of the first things I say you know I don't drink it actually sober for whatever it's been if it was 10 years or 12 years and now 14 in part of my life I'm not a bar guy I don't do this Don't have a problem with people that do it. But.

01:08:03.62
Mike
Are.

01:08:13.46
Mike
Um, this is.

01:08:21.27
Bill
You know it's just not my deal and I I always tell people I'm like I bring it up right away because it's important to me and I think it should be important to somebody else and I don't mean that like hey look at me type of thing but stand what you're getting involved with you know and and I can't I'm not gonna ask you to change.

01:08:31.90
Mike
Right? right? exactly.

01:08:40.25
Bill
But I cannot. It's there. There's no, there's no like hey I can bend for you a little bit. No, you know if you're you're not gonna change this guy in that way. Not gonna be a bar guy I'm not goingnna hang out doing all this shit I'm just not gonna do it and the 1 individual shoe was cool I remember 1 time when I was gonna.

01:08:42.40
Mike
Um, right? Ah, yeah, listen right.

01:09:00.25
Bill
Um, think I don't know it's like ah maybe its a last minuteut thing or whatever it was. We were gonna get together I think we're gonna um I was go to her by her place. We're gonna have dinner and and she had texted me and she said she said hey she goes I just got a she got a bottle of wine for a gift. Maybe it was on the holidays or something like that. She's like.

01:09:15.53
Mike
Sure.

01:09:17.93
Bill
I was going to have a glass of wine. Um, you know she said she goes I'm not going to like drink a bottle she said but I was going to have a glass of wine to try it would that bother you and I was honest but I'm like I'm like I don't know if it will I said I I Ah that was the honest question I said I haven't I haven't been in that circumstance.

01:09:28.15
Mike
Um, yeah, sure.

01:09:36.98
Bill
Um, so I said if you if you want to you can I'm not. It's not that I'm not going to come over. But I said I don't know if it's going to bother me I won't make a big deal out of it. But I'm like I don't know how I feel about it and she's like okay that's cool. She's like and then I won't we talked about it when we get over there and I said I hope that didn't seem weird. She's like no, you're honest with me I'm like well.

01:09:43.20
Mike
Bright This is this is.

01:09:55.10
Mike
Right? Yeah, and that's just it. You know, hey man be fucking honest about it. You know I don't know how this is going to affect me. You know we can either find out or you know right? But don't don't fucking lie. You know don't.

01:09:55.12
Bill
Because I don't I don't fucking know you know I Just don't right.

01:10:08.80
Bill
Um, ah.

01:10:11.82
Mike
Right? And a lie would be oh absolutely not I can't be around that or you know oh yeah, that's fine. Go ahead and you're not fucking sure about it. Yeah yeah, so that's cool I mean like I said you know I am sure about it now. Um I've bet around people that drink you know I mean hell you know.

01:10:18.80
Bill
Right? yeah.

01:10:29.35
Mike
Fairly early in sobriety we were around family you know and they were drinking and stuff and it fucking never bothered me I don't know it bother you.

01:10:30.69
Bill
Right? No end you know again, we we talked about you know like Thanksgiving and stuff like that when they went you know did a dry thanksgiving I thought that was a wonderful gesture. But.

01:10:42.47
Mike
Um, right.

01:10:47.25
Bill
You know, um I was the one that said Christmas just let let everyone do their thing man I'm fine you know and it was after that it was cool now as my you know, um, well kimie was old enough you know to drink by the time. Obviously we you know we kind of got back into each other's lives. But even to begin with yeah I could tell she was a little bit hesitant.

01:10:48.00
Mike
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

01:11:00.18
Mike
Um, right? oh.

01:11:05.14
Bill
To drink around me. She didn't try to hide it but she you know she would necessarily stand in front of me with a glass of wine in her hand you know and you know when Derek got to the age when he was you know having some beers and doing whatever same deal. He wouldn't necessarily hide it but he wouldn't just openly. Ah, never forget this Derek Derek if you're listen to this, you may you might remember this. It was.

01:11:09.40
Mike
Um, right cher.

01:11:18.88
Mike
A who.

01:11:24.94
Bill
It wasn't even that long ago it was Alex um, my stepson Alec his twenty first birthday so you figure? Well, what do you think five years ago now I guess if I'm doing the math right? and they they got this party bus and they all got together and then they ended up going to different bars and.

01:11:32.40
Mike
Um, and okay, right.

01:11:41.46
Bill
Couple of onesster kind of what still light out a couple of beach bars things like that and they ended up in this small town a little bit north of where where Germantown was probably about forty thirty forty minutes up there and Derek called me and he said he goes hey can you do me a favor and I'm like yeah what what do you need? I said do you need a ride. He's like no, no, no, not be but he said could you Can you come pick up my my friend and his girlfriend I'm like do I know this friend and he said he goes have you ever met Timy I'm like I I probably have he goes. He's real cool. He said but they're you know they had long days and whatever and um, you know his girlfriend doesn't drink that much. She wants to go home.

01:12:04.56
Mike
Ah, he.

01:12:18.48
Bill
He he's had enough. He didn't have his car here with him anyhow, but they I'm like where do they live but how many he falls I'm like oh fuck you I'll come getto I don't care. so so I drive up there and I pull up and it's a small town Wisconsin town again, you drive in a is the gas station. There's 3 bars you know.

01:12:18.92
Mike
Um, so.

01:12:23.17
Mike
Sure right right.

01:12:33.28
Mike
Um, reason right.

01:12:36.47
Bill
And he's like you'll see which bar it is ah because I'm like I know roughly where it is but he said you'll see the it was not a school bus bus type. But but you know the oversized van you know he said you'll it's got this whatever so I pull up and I see parked front and he's standing outside with you know, a couple of his buddies I think Alec was out yeah Alec was out there too.

01:12:41.23
Mike
Um, right right? yeah.

01:12:55.14
Bill
And um, he had a beer in his hand. Um, you know he's drinking out in front of the bar. So I pull up he sees me he puts down his beer and comes walking over to the car and and 5 you know, handful of years ago he comes walking up to the car and I said why that you even put down your beer I'm like like I can fucking.

01:12:57.34
Mike
Right? He yeah.

01:13:10.55
Mike
A.

01:13:13.51
Bill
Bell it I you I know you but drake it. He's I said did you think I'm like why and he's like I don't know he goes it was just instinct and I like that's a good answer. Yeah.

01:13:19.26
Mike
Right? right? Yeah, you know and a little respected that's fine. You're right I mean keep it his hand walk up to you and throw that arm around you you know splashing some beer on your chest hey pops. How's it going mad.

01:13:32.85
Bill
And yeah it it was it was just I thought it was ridiculously cute. You know, but I said I just said like it's just fucking funny. You know it's all that it was but but yeah, so you know I took his buddies home and it was It was good but you know so little things like that where again.

01:13:37.41
Mike
Yeah, yes, are.

01:13:51.14
Bill
None of that shit bothers me anymore and I getting back to you know Chris and stuff like that I I know for a fact that I could handle somebody like Chris every once in a while out some place a glass of wine woo I've had enough because first of all number 1 to it. It would I would laugh my ass out. But then I'm like.

01:13:53.73
Mike
Um, listens.

01:14:01.40
Mike
Um, yes, yeah, she gets very cute. Yes.

01:14:11.50
Bill
Well yeah, but on top of that I mean worst case scenario like if she drinks she's fucking one and done I'm like fuck you know the worst thing I'm gonna I'm going to do is taste a little bit of remnants from a woman from alcohol which again I've never well intentionally Kiss somebody who has's been drinking. Um you know, but ah.

01:14:23.17
Mike
Right.

01:14:27.64
Bill
Same thing I don't know but I don't think it'd be a problem in that circumstance at the every once in a while thing you know.

01:14:32.40
Mike
Um, right exactly? Yeah, you know do what you do man. It's cool with me. You know I've just I lost the privilege That's me.

01:14:39.78
Bill
Right? Yeah, right? right? Yeah and it was just it. It made me think about it and and like I said that the podcast it was just it was ah just a very you know again? Ah um, no better way to put it a very raw and open story that she told. And she's you know she talks about her husband on there but they don't really they kind of talk about the personalized but they don't get that deep kind of like us you know where we talk about some shit the deepest conversation we had was when Mom died you know, um, you know we don't really get we'll we'll get the outskirts of some of those things but we don't get that deep and she did It was just ah.

01:15:02.22
Mike
Ah, right.

01:15:13.85
Bill
Was a great conversation and kind of had me riveted to the whole thing but then it made me think about that I'm like yeah I know I've thought about it before but just kind of wanted to get your opinion on that. So so yeah, interesting.

01:15:23.32
Mike
Right? Yeah, right? you know? and again you know, um, if just you know don't want to be around it all the time you know that's that's not my life today and that's fine again. That's me you know, but I can certainly be around it sometimes.

01:15:32.15
Bill
Right.

01:15:40.29
Bill
Right? Yeah, that's a good way to put it up. Yeah I don't Well I don't want to be around I don't want to be around anything like that all the time you know because in probably the the other thing to quite honestly is you know that if if I were around that.

01:15:40.99
Mike
And that's fine too.

01:15:49.10
Mike
Now.

01:15:57.60
Bill
Too long or for too long of a period of time. Um, it does it I get again like you said it's boring. But I think I get irritated because I look at I'm like fuck man these people are just you know it's it never family. It's ever people were're around. But I think in a in a normal situation like that I'm like fuck man that used to be me, you know, then you start seeing this this.

01:16:02.90
Mike
Um, right.

01:16:11.62
Mike
Um, in right.

01:16:17.32
Bill
Garbagey shitty self that you used to be I like I don't need to I don't need to look in a mirror while I'm sitting you know I'll trying to have fun either. You know, smell all right? So I think I got yeah I've got one more I got 1 more thing on here. Um.

01:16:18.26
Mike
He exactly right? yep.

01:16:34.70
Bill
Right? So do I I don't know where I got this from do I expect easy solutions to my problems or do I Only ask to be guided to a better way. Ah, and I me to read that again. Do do.

01:16:41.59
Mike
Um, are had.

01:16:44.40
Mike
M Sure read it again.

01:16:53.25
Bill
Ah, do I expect easy solutions to my problems or do I ask only to be guided to a better way. Ah well they could be easy I'll take it right right.

01:17:01.69
Mike
Yes, oh yeah, but I don't expect it. Um, you know, just from personal experience right? to to truly solve a problem generally the easy way doesn't work.

01:17:17.49
Bill
Right.

01:17:19.69
Mike
Um, yeah, so no I don't expect the easy way. Um, yes to be guided to a better way is a much more realistic way of of looking at things and and quite frankly, it is the easier way to you know, not expect.

01:17:37.82
Bill
Um.

01:17:39.54
Mike
The easy solution is if that makes sense is it is the easier way. Don't expect because it's not going to be fucking easy if I expect if I expect the easy solution. It's not going to work out and they're going to be resentful because it didn't and yeah you know, no yes.

01:17:45.10
Bill
Right? right.

01:17:51.16
Bill
Right.

01:17:56.34
Mike
Guide me in a direction to where it's going to get better eventually. Yes, that's fine. That's that's wonderful. Thank you.

01:18:01.33
Bill
Right? And you know what when what I read I and now that I read this again I think when I read this the reason I wrote it down is because you know kind of I I I I knew the answer I think I knew what your answer is going to be that. You know the easier softer way thing I agree 100 you know what? what we thought was the easier soft to away really isn't this is but on top of that the guided to a better way. Um, that's how I start off my prayers every morning you know, guide me through another and I say clean and sober because I I throw drugs in there too even though I never did them.

01:18:23.89
Mike
Are right.

01:18:37.60
Mike
You see.

01:18:39.10
Bill
You know, but basically I I asked for guidance and that's something that I there was somebody who said it, you know that in again lead meeting. Whatever it was group talked about you know, asking for guidance every day So that's been part of my prayers for a long fucking time. You know so.

01:18:46.95
Mike
E.

01:18:53.50
Mike
Um, right.

01:18:58.21
Bill
I'm just asking for the guidance you know, help guide me through give me the strength is another word that I or another phrase that I use in there you know I never ask you know fix my problems fix my life anything like that because we know better Hopefully most time. Um, yeah.

01:18:59.80
Mike
Yeah, right? Yelp new right? Yes, magically make it better.

01:19:17.75
Bill
It No we got we gotta we gotta earn it to make it actually feel good, but but yeah I mean I I don't know I mean it's every once in a while you know and we were talking about this ah a couple of episodes or a few episodes ago I Love a gimme every once in a while you know I you know.

01:19:19.33
Mike
It's yes we do.

01:19:31.15
Mike
Um, oh sure mm.

01:19:34.51
Bill
I Love a freebie I Love a gimme I love anything like that. But man I cant I I know better I cannot have too many of those because I then I expect it and I get pissed off and then like you said resentment I expect it and then I end up with a fucking resentment.

01:19:45.68
Mike
Um, right? Yep yeah, um, exactly yeah well it's it's again wasting time man Wasted calories.

01:19:52.92
Bill
And I can't I can't live that way I know that much. So.

01:20:02.80
Mike
Being things that aren't going to happen. It's just fuck. It's it's dumb. It's fucking Dumb yelp.

01:20:03.22
Bill
Right? I more more than anything else I Just yeah, it's I like it's just dumb group. It isn't if is it funny. How just the most simplistic words sometimes it just a.

01:20:21.70
Mike
Nothing. Yes.

01:20:21.91
Bill
That means everything that explains it. It's dumb is fucking dumb. But so speaking to something that's not fucking dumb so far. Zencastr has not been fucking dumb I think it's been um I'm gonna I'm going to go out on a limb here.

01:20:32.55
Mike
No, it has not.

01:20:39.91
Bill
And I'm going to say that Zencastr's been pretty fucking. Wonderful so far tonight right.

01:20:40.35
Mike
Um, it has but you know what it's simple imagine that the simple way is working better than the complicated way. Um.

01:20:51.19
Bill
Yeah, isn't that God where do want me write that down. Simple way riverside What I'd say last time suck my ass you said Polish balls I think yeah Pipe polish sack. But um, yeah I mean the end.

01:20:53.83
Mike
It it? Yeah yes, lick my polish bag. He.

01:21:09.30
Bill
Thing of it is and I'm not going to put the episode together tonight. But basically the way this it it I did the whole thing even though it was only a 2 minute episode the last time it worked the same way I figured out how to do it and you know put everything together. Oh the cool thing too. So I've been just just a side note because I again I'm like a kid with a new toy when i.

01:21:10.37
Mike
Right.

01:21:17.80
Mike
Me.

01:21:28.53
Bill
With riverside once everything was put together I had to download it in in choose whether it downloaded in an MP three or an MPFourMPThree is ah well MPFour is the better version. You know like the more rich version. Yeah, but m but.

01:21:37.35
Mike
Um.

01:21:42.42
Mike
It's one more these go to 11 i.

01:21:46.48
Bill
It is. But yeah in call it quality wise or wave wave not um I apologize it's wave not MPFour it's wave so a wave file is the better 1 in mpthree is the it's it's a smaller file. It's a compressed file and the audio is just a hair less That's what we used to have to do with to upload it an anchor I'd have to convert it. But this thing gives me both MPThree and a wave file of the recording and it automatically downloads the transcript and drops everything into a zip folder. So it. It.

01:22:03.64
Mike
Um.

01:22:16.17
Mike
All right I don't know what any of that means but okay.

01:22:22.85
Bill
It drops like if you were at a shopping store. You said I I want the m p three I want the wave and I want the transcript and they say okay, here's the MP three now I got to go over to that checkout to get the um the wave file and you're like oh fuck me and then after all said and done they're like tomorrow you got to come back if you want the transcript because we're out of stock right now we're.

01:22:36.40
Mike
Um.

01:22:42.64
Bill
We're getting that together that's in the back room but that's basically what I had to do now I just when I go up to the checkout I get all 3 of them all in one put them in my bag and I get to use them hey simple.

01:22:43.60
Mike
Um, okay.

01:22:49.51
Mike
All right now right? simple.

01:22:57.10
Bill
But again, no seriously I mean again zencastr I mean we're gonna keep we'll keep using this after a couple of weeks I guess we'll have to fucking pay for it if we want to keep using it. But it is what it is so again, this podcast episode has been brought to you by Zencastr we're so cool.

01:23:06.18
Mike
Ah, yeah, it is ah nice. He oh speaking of internet type things.

01:23:15.14
Bill
We don't even use the E Yeah yes.

01:23:21.33
Mike
So you did you did one of the sober stories of the month thing for the Keating Center website right? Yeah well how long ago is that was it.

01:23:28.67
Bill
It did um it was before we started doing this. Um I think it what yeah September of the year before so September of what would that have been 2021 September October Twenty one field

01:23:39.85
Mike
Now All right? okay.

01:23:45.48
Bill
The reason I know that is because I used my the my episode that I did on here I Just read off my article that I did for the keatings but it was that it was that late summer or fall that I did it somewhere in that timef frame.

01:23:54.28
Mike
Um, ah.

01:23:57.70
Mike
Okay, all right? Well up. Yeah, all those stories are still there. Um Ed Keatingcenter Dot Org um yeah well I'm gonna be next month so yeah so you know go to edkeatingcenter.org and look up. Ah whatever.

01:24:05.83
Bill
Nice.

01:24:15.33
Mike
Late the fall of 2021 and read Bill's little story and I will be June of this year yeah and while you're there. You know, go to the donation and throw him a couple of bucks.

01:24:21.71
Bill
Cool. Yeah, once once your story.

01:24:31.84
Bill
Right? And when yeah, once once your um story is live on there. We can link it up on Instagram or something like that and make it easier for people I'll I'll set up a highlight or some sort of link or maybe we'll put it on our website make people go to our website to hit the link get some.

01:24:37.39
Mike
9

01:24:44.32
Mike
All right cool.

01:24:48.85
Bill
Get some traffic on that website that we're fucking paying for yeah that we can't we can't afford if we don't get donations man again, don't give us any fucking money I don't want it. We don't want it Mike doesn't want it. Don't give us your money. Go spend it on. Go spend it on something doing something nice for somebody and speaking to that.

01:24:49.58
Mike
Right.

01:24:57.18
Mike
Ah, nope.

01:25:07.90
Mike
Exactly Ah, cool all right? Well yeah, smooth all right? Well thank you everyone for listening to another episode of sober not mature.

01:25:08.19
Bill
Guess whose turn it is Mike Segue

01:25:23.35
Mike
Always be good to each other be kind to each other go out. Do something nice for somebody else this week don't get on a podcast and tell anybody you did it and now it is time kids it is that time it is time for you to fuck off then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off to you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here climb over that gate dream the impossible dream and keep fucking off for ever.

01:25:56.25
Bill
Ah, once again, classic a little bit different set up ah kind of mix it it up a little bit like yeah like you always do so good shit though Maynard that's for day I'm sure. But yeah I mean I'll I'll put everything together but I you know but again I'm hoping everything.

01:26:02.18
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:26:11.53
Bill
Comes out right? I mean the the recording part of it was good up to this point and you know I'm hopefully well it's the end of the episode. Hopefully the audience been good up to this point because this is now recorded and people are actually listening to us stuff. Yeah, fucking whatever. But anyhow so yes, Zencastr we'll keep using it. We'll keep reporting on it and we'll keep saying.

01:26:15.46
Mike
Um.

01:26:18.19
Mike
T Mm right.

01:26:31.23
Bill
Fuck you riverside but add a more positive note Mike I love you brother I know we will talk talk soon and yeah bye.

01:26:32.85
Mike
Um, yes I Love you too by.