July 20, 2024

SoberNotMature - Episode 126 (Generic Podcast Title - {Mike Is Tired})

SoberNotMature - Episode 126 (Generic Podcast Title - {Mike Is Tired})
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Sober Not Mature

This week we have...

Yes! Mike and Bill again. Back for more engaging stories and sober fun.

Mike started out with his reading and it was about happiness. Should we pursue happiness or is it the result of living a good life? It was a good conversation.

We talked about sugar coating verses being direct, medications to get sober, dominating people, being rude and saying mean things, and do we really care what others think about us.

There was also a failed Airbnb trip, that had a lesson at the end.

Enjoy the episode.

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Transcript

00:00:02.14
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of Sober, Not Mature. And Mike, for the first time in a long time, when I asked, I'm like, all right, you ready? And he said, nope, let's go.

00:00:16.70
Bill
yeah Which, it I mean, it sounds like you had, I mean, we we're starting a little late.

00:00:17.60
Mike
ah huh

00:00:20.13
Mike
Uh-huh Yeah a little bit of a day uh-huh life on life's terms or some bullshit like that

00:00:21.16
Bill
that it's Not thats that it's a big deal. I know it's obviously you ran a little bit later than you thought it worked. So it sounds like you had a little bit of a day, huh?

00:00:30.93
Bill
Well,

00:00:34.04
Bill
right so it i i thought about this just because i had uh i had a little bit of a week myself kind of an up and down week with work nothing nothing bad just typical shit um last saturday was a weird day for me i'll go over my airbnb experience a little bit later because actually i think it had there's some sobriety shit in there so i figured it'd be worth uh you know telling the story but

00:00:55.57
Mike
die Yeah, yeah states over this week

00:00:56.57
Bill
i Thought about three questions. So let's do a little checkup. Okay, and everyone everyone can play along but so So so first of all, um did we stay sober this week Mike?

00:01:10.42
Bill
Okay, so did I question number two this is the one you see all the time if somebody's having a bad day always ask people did you shit yourself today or this week and

00:01:21.53
Mike
ah ah Define shit yourself.

00:01:26.81
Bill
Well, in in your clothing, in your clothing.

00:01:28.98
Mike
No, no, I did not.

00:01:30.34
Bill
Okay. ah You know what, I didn't either, not even a little bit, which I think it's important to say because who knows, you know, at this age, you know, you can't always trust, can't always trust the fart these days.

00:01:38.41
Mike
Right.

00:01:41.10
Bill
So, um okay.

00:01:41.82
Mike
Exactly. So not in my clothing or in my bed.

00:01:42.90
Bill
Now the final, yep. Okay. i'm I'm two for two on that either. I did, I only shit in the proper places.

00:01:48.05
Mike
Or my yard.

00:01:51.82
Bill
How's that?

00:01:52.67
Mike
Sounds like a plan.

00:01:54.07
Bill
the socially acceptable places.

00:01:57.25
Mike
so Yeah.

00:01:58.39
Bill
OK, final question. You ready? Did anyone try to assassinate you this week?

00:02:04.22
Mike
yeah

00:02:09.25
Bill
So to the best of your knowledge, I guess.

00:02:09.47
Mike
oh Right. Go ahead. Right. Yeah. If they did, they missed by a fucking long shot. So yeah.

00:02:17.74
Bill
yeah

00:02:18.34
Mike
No, I don't believe anyone did.

00:02:20.41
Bill
Okay, so I was gonna say unless unless trump happens to be listening Which I don't think he is but um, I think I think everyone out there passed that part of the test the other two Hopefully you did too.

00:02:24.89
Mike
Probably not No,

00:02:29.93
Bill
So my point there is that i'm not trying to make fun of that because this that whole thing's fucked up We're not going to talk about it. But um, it's just it it's fucked up. It's a fucked up situation We've been saying it for for months and weeks now and probably years that the world's a fucked up place and that's just just another another proof of it or another piece of proof of it, but

00:02:39.46
Mike
yeah Yeah Yeah

00:02:49.76
Bill
Either way, I just thought that that wasn't trying to make a joke of it, but I think that's a pretty good thing. here There's people that have there's people that people that had a worse week than me and you and pretty much everyone else out there for the most part, I think so.

00:02:54.00
Mike
yeah yeah It's a good barometer definitely All right, god damn it fine I

00:03:06.35
Bill
But, but yeah, so um yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's, ah it's, it was, like I said, not that bad of a week, nothing, nothing that we're talking about, but I just, the Airbnb thing, like I said, I want to talk about it because I think by, um you know, the 14 years of practice on this thing helped me a little bit, but I'll talk about it later. We'll maybe roll some, roll some good thoughts around in our head, you know, first and get that started off and seeing that, you know, we all passed the test, hopefully so far, we're, we're good to go with some good thoughts now, right?

00:03:22.03
Mike
i ah

00:03:32.79
Mike
Sure. Why not? I have no idea what those slots are going to be because I fucking didn't have, I barely fed myself. Uh, so, but I'm here.

00:03:40.28
Bill
Right.

00:03:42.37
Mike
All right. Uh, let's just, let's just flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, spin the wheel. Uh, all right. Sure. Ha. Here we go. June 23rd. Why not? Here we go. ah The pursuit of happiness is the but is a most ridiculous phrase. If you pursue happiness, you'll never find it. Charles Percy Snow. Happiness is a funny thing. We all want it, but we don't know quite what it is or how to get it. Looking for it led for us to try led us looking for it led us to try alcohol or drugs, and or drugs.

00:04:26.58
Mike
Uh, but for us, that was a dangerous experiment that led to our addiction and nearly cost us our lives. We have a deadly disease. Did I do this one already?

00:04:39.83
Mike
I know, Bill, you turn your bike off.

00:04:40.09
Bill
ah um sorry about that yeah um you know what i i remember it but um i mean because i i read it and it always i like the whole pursuit of happiness thing because we talk about it but um if you did i don't think anyone's going to remember so i i like it i like the the

00:04:42.09
Mike
Yeah.

00:04:46.35
Mike
Well, yeah.

00:04:52.68
Mike
but Alright, well i will I will continue then. Trudging away, here we go. Some people look for happiness and power, some in owning things, selling some in gambling or sex or danger. None of these paths lead to happiness. Happiness comes from being who we are meant to be. there There's a reason each of us is here. We have things to learn and things to do and people to love. We will discover these things through prayer and meditation and through listening to people who are happy. That's why we chose a stable and content sponsor. Prayer for the day. Higher power, please help me keep my goals straight. I want happiness, that is, I want to be on the right path.

00:05:43.89
Mike
Help me listen today for your directions. Today's action, as I pray or meditate today, I will make sure I am clear about who I want directions from, my higher power, not my addict.

00:06:00.20
Bill
You know what, I mean, you may, you may have read that one before. um But I quite honestly, I mean, anytime, well, and let me step back to like what I said, when you, when you asked that question that, I mean, you always talk about happiness is it, you probably put it better than I do a byproduct is of this whole thing, right?

00:06:15.34
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Yes. A by-product. It's a by-product. Happiness is, Jesus Christ, I'm tired. yeah Happiness is a by-product, man. It's not the goal. It's kind of what it alluded to, but yeah, right. Happiness is a by-product of doing the right thing, which is basically what it said.

00:06:32.65
Bill
right?

00:06:33.48
Mike
Yeah.

00:06:35.07
Bill
Well, and it's, and it's funny, because, you know, society tells us that, you know, it's always the, well, and what is it, the, that the pursuit of happiness, the whole thing, you know, I mean, it's, I mean, that's, we're we're guaranteed, not even guaranteed, but we're, we're given the ability, I suppose, as human beings to, to have that pursuit of happiness.

00:06:42.95
Mike
All right.

00:06:50.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:06:52.04
Bill
But, I mean, it's a, it can be a trap, you know, because, especially with, in, I mean, in my opinion, with,

00:06:52.38
Mike
All right.

00:06:58.79
Bill
and We talked about this a few weeks ago, which, you know, things all this shit is more in our face these days with so social media and all this sort of things.

00:07:03.42
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:07:05.99
Bill
And I mean, it's just so much more in front of us, you know, so much more static in front of us on a daily basis. But it's always been there, you know, that, you know, you you look around and it's like, OK, who's got the who dresses the the best, quote unquote, who's got the best car, or the best house, the best job, whatever the case may be.

00:07:12.51
Mike
Right.

00:07:15.02
Mike
Hmm.

00:07:20.59
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:07:24.56
Bill
And it doesn't necessarily mean they're they're happy.

00:07:25.99
Mike
Mm.

00:07:27.34
Bill
We were um Who was that that Shannon when we had?

00:07:30.93
Mike
Uh

00:07:31.89
Bill
Chris and in Shannon on when Shannon was the wrestler and he said he was at the height had You know this big house and all these cars and he said he was sitting in his house You know had had everything that he had that he thought he wanted if he was fucking miserable, you know But I mean obviously that's what what he was still drinking and using his rest of his life was all fucked up and he had all this shit, you know and

00:07:34.01
Mike
-huh.

00:07:39.02
Mike
Right. Right. Mm-hmm.

00:07:53.00
Mike
Yep.

00:07:54.29
Bill
and I think back every once in a while I think back on this one like yesterday when I got paid and I i paid out what seemed like an ungodly amount of money for bills you know and and I don't have a lot of bills right now but again with this with this traveling thing I'm spending I'm spending the equivalent of what I would pay in rent if not a little bit more from time to time but

00:08:04.09
Mike
Yup. Right. right

00:08:15.57
Bill
you know just when when i look at it that way it doesn't seem so bad but when you you know i mean i got my you know big bigger things i had my cell phone bill my car payment then you know three of these big payments i had to make that for these travel payments you know and it's and it's all lump sum it wasn't that big of a deal but you know you look at all said and done and i'm like i'm like fuck you remember when i mean the keating center was one thing but what you and i moved in together and i know we talked about this before but what was our rent at that place your was it four hundred

00:08:28.76
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:08:33.53
Mike
he

00:08:43.97
Mike
It was deaf, but yeah, if that if that it might have been 350.

00:08:46.95
Bill
Yeah.

00:08:50.25
Bill
Well, and I just I for some reason I remember that between Rent are we had cable we had our electric bill and we had gas we had a gas bill that we had to pay and I think um Okay, well to all of that in there the the two of us didn't spend more than I think our total was 350 bucks each that we spent Per month.

00:08:57.26
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

00:09:11.44
Mike
right

00:09:12.96
Bill
So I mean, you know first to live there was like seven hundred dollars a month, you know and

00:09:13.51
Mike
yeah

00:09:16.94
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:09:18.86
Bill
That that first job that I started in ah Rocky River I remember I mean I I had more money than I knew what to fucking do with because you know to begin with we we're still living in the Three-quarter house, which that was even less than what we were paying You know, but still even when we moved in there, I mean at at that point I had Johnny's card that I paid 500 bucks for I didn't have a car payment all this stuff and then all these things again, you know They accumulate and whatever and it's it's a part of growth and I don't regret anything that I spend my money on these days thankfully

00:09:24.45
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:09:29.34
Mike
Right. Right. Right. Mm hmm.

00:09:47.21
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

00:09:48.13
Bill
you know but My point with that was that was a really simple time.

00:09:52.08
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:09:52.80
Bill
We didn't have a lot of things, um you know, but we were getting our lives back in order and shit was pretty goddamn good, you know.

00:09:59.24
Mike
Yes, it was.

00:10:00.70
Bill
and And I'm not saying things are good today. You know, I mean, the the problems that we have are just, you know, they're the they're more expensive problems that we have or more they're ah the problems have grown, but not in a bad way.

00:10:02.71
Mike
Right.

00:10:13.64
Mike
Right.

00:10:13.83
Bill
They've multi they've multiplied, but not really in in bad way. So I don't know if I'm even making sense, you know.

00:10:18.13
Mike
Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, we've got more responsibilities now.

00:10:21.93
Bill
Right. Right.

00:10:22.46
Mike
Yeah.

00:10:23.16
Bill
Right. You know, and again, maybe, you know, bigger toys and bigger things that we're spending on.

00:10:27.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:10:28.05
Bill
I mean, I, I don't spend, well, I suppose I, cause I pay my son's insurance. I mean, with my car payment and my, my insurance now, I probably spend more than I paid for that first car.

00:10:36.82
Mike
oh yeah we up right

00:10:36.97
Bill
Yeah, you know and you know you you start to look at that and you're like oh fuck, but I mean anyhow you know it's it's all relative but you know the the point to this whole thing is that um I Mean the things that made us happy and to me the things that make me happy today, and I think you're the same way um I mean yes We do things we try to go places and be with people and those sort of things to make us happy but that's not the number one goal my goal like with my

00:10:57.01
Mike
is

00:11:01.94
Mike
Oh yeah, which I've right.

00:11:03.16
Bill
with my kids i mean i just want to spend time with them and that that it's it's great just spending that time i don't give a fuck what i do the traveling and things like that when i go one of the reasons i can afford to do this right now is because the only thing is i'm i'm doing what i do here just in a different place you know i don't do anything

00:11:05.58
Mike
listen

00:11:19.92
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:11:22.12
Bill
I don't go out to dinner every once in a while I have, um, I spend a little bit of money on gas to get to where I'm going. Um, you know, but I mean, that's, I don't commute anywhere on a regular basis. So that fucking evens out, you know, but the happiness that I get is experiencing those things.

00:11:32.10
Mike
Right.

00:11:36.72
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:11:37.76
Bill
I'm not doing it to try to find happiness. I think I'm happy most of the time, you know, I'm just trying to add experiences to it, but, uh, yeah, I dunno, I think you're the same way.

00:11:41.68
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:11:45.54
Mike
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, right. I mean, you know, I mean, I, I like being home, right? You know, I talk about responsibilities and stuff, you know, right. I bought this big ass old house and I like being in here. I like knocking around in here. I look at all my crap in here. I'm comfortable here. I'm happy here. Right. You know, but yeah, exactly. You know, I mean, I got my check, uh, that shit yesterday and it's pretty much spent. Um,

00:12:12.91
Bill
ah

00:12:14.19
Mike
you know, but the lights are on and the air conditioner's running and uh, yeah, you know, what the fuck, man.

00:12:20.71
Bill
Right. Yeah. And that's, that's the whole thing. And I, you know, I, ah the, I dunno, I just thinking about my car, you know, I, this is the longest that I've ever had a car ever in, in my entire, in my, you know, whatever, 40 years almost of driving, you know, um, I've never had a car this one, this one I've had three and a half years of one, one car I had the longest was just under three, I think, because I get bored of, of cars, you know,

00:12:29.44
Mike
and

00:12:34.09
Mike
Right.

00:12:38.76
Mike
right

00:12:44.90
Mike
Right.

00:12:45.27
Bill
And in this one i like and it's got a couple of things that i'm eyeballing maybe trying to replace it but it's not a matter of i need something better ive i finally you know i found this this car that i like and i mean i just enjoy it. You know but i'm less i'm less impulsive than i was you know and um but it it it's still there in my head sometimes if i'm bored um that's an easy time to try to spend money if i'm bored kinda like i used to drink you know.

00:13:01.20
Mike
Right.

00:13:05.71
Mike
Right. right

00:13:11.12
Bill
um Or if I'm if I feel I don't know whatever it is if I'm having one of those down moments Sometimes it feels good to go someplace and buy something I don't know why you know it's just maybe it's human nature But um so I suppose I still have those impulses, but I for the most part.

00:13:19.84
Mike
Right?

00:13:24.87
Mike
yeah

00:13:25.50
Bill
I really hope that I'm Yeah, yeah, that's it.

00:13:25.81
Mike
Well, sit there, scroll on your phone and buy shit.

00:13:31.42
Bill
That's a good point

00:13:31.55
Mike
Don't even need to go anywhere. I was laying on my couch the other day. I fucking bought a couple of things. Yeah.

00:13:37.66
Bill
yep Yeah, it is. But you know, and that's the thing too. So they that started off with, you know, obviously pursuing happiness and how to get it. um And I think that's that that's the trick, you know, people are looking that how do I, you know, how do I find happiness, you know, and um we've just talked about that whole thing, it isn't, it's a byproduct, like you said, to begin with, but um I think, again, everything like I was trying to say before,

00:13:51.22
Mike
Hmm. Yep.

00:14:00.41
Bill
is it's it's a fucking trap. People think that all these different things that they can actually pursue and obtain happiness um with with things and they just can't.

00:14:04.94
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:14:09.46
Bill
you know um I mean, if you're if you're happy and you add a couple of things and you can afford them, then yeah, those things are gonna add to your, maybe add to your life and I mean, technically your happiness, but it's not making it.

00:14:10.19
Mike
Right.

00:14:14.94
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

00:14:19.15
Bill
you know I guess it's the right way to put it.

00:14:21.05
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The stuff isn't making you happy. The, you know, uh, shit, man, you know, being able to share it with someone that, that kind of makes me happy.

00:14:30.39
Bill
Right, right.

00:14:31.03
Mike
Yeah.

00:14:32.37
Bill
Yeah, that's one thing i've I've always kind of said is that, you know, there's ah if anyone was going to make me broke in my life, it'd be my kids.

00:14:39.55
Mike
and

00:14:40.44
Bill
And I don't mean that in a bad way. I would do anything for them. That's the point, you know, and, you know, with like we've talked about birthdays or Father's Day or whatever, I like to get together with them and um If I had to and usually they buy me to buy me lunch or whatever it is for those days But if I paid for it, I don't give a fuck, you know And it just I don't think about those things when when I'm with my kids because you know, it's again It's trying that I have some things that I want to share them with them, you know but the the thing that um one of the lines that I wrote down and I and he used to see my fucking handwriting it's goddamn horrible and but it says happiness comes, I think the line said happiness comes from who we are meant to be.

00:14:56.65
Mike
All right. Right.

00:15:18.71
Bill
Okay.

00:15:18.82
Mike
right

00:15:19.72
Bill
So what, I mean, what, how does that, how does that line up with you? Or what do you think about that statement? That kind of wrote that down. And that was one that I kind of, I don't know, it just, I like that one.

00:15:29.40
Mike
Right? Well, i I think it, again, comes kind of comes down to doing the right thing, you know, um doing the next right thing, whatever it is. But yes, so who we're supposed to be, being good people. We're supposed to be decent human beings, not fucking selfish assholes that we were.

00:15:43.32
Bill
Right.

00:15:45.92
Mike
um And yes, um I am definitely a happier person not being that selfish asshole that I was. um Yes, doing good, getting good. um But yes. i Yeah, just being a good person, man. you know i'm um I don't have guilt and remorse and shame and shit. Yeah, that's that's pretty that's enough, man.

00:16:09.70
Bill
Right. Yeah, and that's ah i just that that who we are meant to be. I just thought that was kind of cool because I mean, I don't I mean, if somebody just came up to me and asked me, you know, who are you meant to be?

00:16:15.55
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

00:16:20.68
Bill
It would probably catch me off guard. Probably what what that statement did to begin with. But I mean, you put that great. I mean, if it it is, it's being good to other people, doing the next right thing, um just being the best human being, making our little corner of the world a better place.

00:16:35.41
Mike
Right.

00:16:36.45
Bill
And then yeah we just we become who we are yet this is this is where meant to be this this version whoever we are sitting here right now and.

00:16:40.61
Mike
Right.

00:16:44.30
Bill
I mean the same thing like a comeback to the material stuff me both of us have talked about it. You said to begin with you got all this crap in your house that you like and that you like to stare at on a daily basis you don't necessarily need it but you like it.

00:16:53.29
Mike
Right. Uh-huh. Oh, right.

00:16:58.23
Bill
you know and But the the whole point is is just that, um I don't know, i don't the the pursuit of whatever I was pursuing even 10 years ago, you know the from a job standpoint and stuff like that. you know I sit behind a desk and I collect money on a daily basis, that's all I fucking do.

00:17:14.03
Mike
Right.

00:17:16.07
Bill
Yeah, it's for a law firm, it's for businesses, it's a little it's a little bit higher up of a of a step on the on the collection ladder, only in the matter of who I'm i'm dealing with and the opportunity that I have.

00:17:16.14
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:17:27.80
Mike
Right.

00:17:27.89
Bill
um But i'm still a fucking bill collector, you know, but the here's here's the thing.

00:17:30.82
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:17:32.70
Bill
I have zero responsibility except for Doing what I need to do every day and that's not hard, you know I ah I clock in at the right time.

00:17:39.05
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:17:42.30
Bill
I clock out for lunch.

00:17:43.75
Mike
Right.

00:17:43.94
Bill
I take I take my 15 minute breaks You know, I I clock out at 5 p.m And i'm fucking done, you know, I don't I don't have to do anything else.

00:17:50.03
Mike
Right.

00:17:52.18
Bill
I don't have to deal with people I don't have to do projects.

00:17:53.61
Mike
Hmm.

00:17:54.88
Bill
I don't have to do fucking reports. None of it

00:17:57.98
Mike
Right.

00:17:58.53
Bill
What I gotta to do is just I have a goal and I gotta hit it, you know Not even just in in that thing.

00:18:00.97
Mike
Yep.

00:18:03.18
Bill
I don't even look at it for them I mean, I don't say fuck them, but I I told my boss whatever goal you give me I'm like, I don't care.

00:18:06.69
Mike
Yeah.

00:18:09.56
Bill
I want to hit it anyhow, you know, and he he fucking tested me this month that motherfucker He uh, my my goal um first month in at level two was 15 and

00:18:10.80
Mike
Mm hmm. Hey.

00:18:22.31
Bill
no was it uh i don't know what it was but i i had like fit i'm just under 15 the first the first month i think my goal was like 13 i hit 15 or just under it and then he put my goal at uh 17 last month and i had like it was 17 or 18 i had like 23 and change

00:18:36.19
Mike
Hmm.

00:18:37.45
Bill
um and then he's like he goes well you get some bigger things come on like I don't give a shit I'm like I I don't care what goal you give me it doesn't matter what my goal is on paper so it I said I want to hit 25 my stretch goal would be 30 you know he gave me for a goal 25

00:18:49.10
Mike
Uh-huh. Hmm. Hmm. There you go. Yeah.

00:18:53.61
Bill
like you mother you motherfucker you know and the only the only thing that sucks a little bit and it seems like everyone's kind of having a little bit of a slow month we still got you know nine days left as far as business days but eight I'm sorry um you know but everyone seems to be a little bit for whatever reason pacing a little bit down

00:19:02.92
Mike
Okay.

00:19:11.24
Bill
um I ah this could be the first month and i'm I'm not giving up on it, but I mean it's I've got I've got some work to do to hit it um You know and just going through it the it at the time, you know where I was I was ahead of my goal all the other months I'm behind it now pacing, you know, which I don't like that

00:19:17.84
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:19:26.64
Mike
Right? Mm-hmm.

00:19:29.58
Bill
the

00:19:32.15
Mike
instance Right.

00:19:33.44
Bill
the the

00:19:35.91
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:19:45.93
Mike
sir

00:19:49.60
Bill
Okay, so one of the other things, speaking of goals, and I wrote that down, it said in the reading, keeping our goals straight. Okay, so if you thought about that, even like the, if there was the top one or two goals and in your life, or even top three, ah based on that statement, what what goals would they be?

00:19:55.90
Mike
Mhmm.

00:20:07.50
Bill
And I mean, how do you keep them straight?

00:20:09.81
Mike
Right. Well, January 6th comes to mind.

00:20:12.53
Bill
man

00:20:13.03
Mike
Um, right.

00:20:13.94
Bill
That's number one.

00:20:13.95
Mike
You know, yeah. Staying sober, man. Um, yeah, that, that one. And then I don't worry about the rest. Um, I don't know, man. I mean, you know, clearly I, I'd like to retire in 10 years. Um, I don't know if it's going to happen. I mean, I started so goddamn late. You know, I mean, you know, being 42 years old and literally not having a goddamn penny in your pocket is a little rough.

00:20:33.19
Bill
Right.

00:20:41.98
Mike
Um, so I don't know. We'll see a shit. I might not live another 10 years. So, uh, you know, um, yeah, I don't know, man.

00:20:46.35
Bill
Right.

00:20:50.10
Mike
I goals, man. Um, yeah. You know, the happiness thing's nice. so The peace and the serenity, it all comes back to January 6th, man, staying sober. Most important thing in my life.

00:20:59.58
Bill
right

00:21:00.67
Mike
And as long as I do that, then the rest of the shit I have faith is going to work out and I will be okay. So yeah, I don't know.

00:21:08.06
Bill
Right.

00:21:09.88
Mike
I've specific goals. na I don't know. I mean, I'd like to get to England at some point before I die because that's one place I'd like to be that I haven't been. Um, but other than that, I don't know.

00:21:25.83
Bill
No and I mean it's the same thing the last couple of weeks you've done would you said yes to a couple of questions that I asked and then this one saying you know.

00:21:31.97
Mike
it

00:21:33.51
Bill
January six that it is it's up you know staying sober really.

00:21:36.09
Mike
Well,

00:21:37.13
Bill
In in that I mean that kind of covers everything but you know when you said that I'm like yeah because if without sobriety we know this at least for us without sobriety nothing else matters anyhow so.

00:21:39.75
Mike
well

00:21:46.20
Mike
Right.

00:21:46.86
Bill
You know obviously that's gonna be the number one. And the only thing I was thinking about like when you were talking, and yeah i got I mean, I'm doing some of my my travel goals right now, so I'm you know kind of living them, which is cool.

00:21:55.74
Mike
Right.

00:21:57.73
Bill
um you know But remaining remaining teachable, staying humble, and you know making sure I'm not selfish.

00:21:57.69
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:22:05.03
Bill
you know And you know those are just you know three things.

00:22:05.18
Mike
Yeah, well.

00:22:07.61
Bill
And that's they popped into my head as you were as you were talking. And those are you know those seem like they'd be easy things, but they're not for me.

00:22:11.61
Mike
Mm hmm. Nope.

00:22:16.79
Bill
you know i mean humility not being selfish and i don't even remember what the other one that i said oh teachable see i can't even remember what i said like less than 30 seconds ago i don't fuck am i supposed to do it on a daily basis but um the last thing that i wrote down was who who i want uh to take directions from so i mean how important is that right i mean as far as who

00:22:21.05
Mike
Dada. Yeah, there you go.

00:22:26.36
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Exactly.

00:22:36.07
Mike
Mm hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, i it and it kind of gave you the clue there, you know, somebody who's, who is happy and who's confident and serene and calm and, you know, has what you want. Um, yeah. So do what they do. Yeah. All that shit that we learned really early on. Yes. I want to take direction. I don't want to take direction from some miserable son of a bitch. Um, I don't want to take direction from somebody who's mean and you know, that selfish and, and, Yeah, you know or arrogant and full of themselves.

00:23:13.37
Mike
I don't want any of that because I that's not what I want to be so I again I look for the things that I want that that happiness and the serenity and the calmness and the confidence but not Arrogant and yeah, you know and then do what they do and then you get what they have.

00:23:15.17
Bill
Right.

00:23:30.34
Bill
Right.

00:23:31.18
Mike
Ooh Me too

00:23:32.07
Bill
I've heard that someplace before, right? But I mean, that's probably, I'd say one of the one of the most simplistic things that you know that this program you know tells us is just, you you know if you if you want what somebody else has, do what they do.

00:23:48.01
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:23:48.25
Bill
But you know once again, you know starting off in this in this whole thing, um it didn't really, I don't know that it was, I don't remember it being hard, but I don't necessarily remember it just falling into place for me either.

00:23:58.37
Mike
No.

00:23:59.78
Bill
the fact that i The fact that I don't remember it being hard is probably a good thing, but mean part of it is just literally, and and I've said it before, you know to begin with, um i mean i didn't I didn't pick any of the meetings.

00:24:03.03
Mike
Mm-hmm. Uh huh.

00:24:12.77
Bill
It was what two, three that we had to go through or go to, and then the other ones I was just taken to, and then I just kept going to them, you know because it was it would literally it was it was habit.

00:24:14.31
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:24:18.95
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:24:22.56
Bill
you know

00:24:23.21
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:24:23.49
Bill
um I didn't want to have to think about what what I did, I just ah just followed people, literally did what people did, um and and that's it.

00:24:28.59
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:24:31.85
Bill
you know

00:24:32.19
Mike
Well, I'd say You want the easier, softer way. That's it right there in a nutshell.

00:24:38.15
Bill
right

00:24:38.14
Mike
Yeah. Just fucking shut your mouth. Follow the crowd. And and yes, you'll end up where they are.

00:24:42.93
Bill
yeah

00:24:46.33
Bill
Yeah, well that always reminds me of a few good men when Tom Cruise is up there, where they're going back the whole thing with whatever that is, the Code Red type of thing. And um I think Keeper Sutherland gets up there, I'm sorry, Kevin Bacon you know is trying to do the whole, you know where and does it say the Code Red? And he's like, it's not in the book. And then Tom Cruise grabs it, it's like, you know where does it where does it say in here where the mess hall is?

00:25:07.64
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:25:07.76
Bill
And he goes, it's not in the book. And he says, well, you know how did you find it? And he goes, well, When it was child time i just followed everyone or did what everyone else did you know which obviously that was the that was the oo moment coat red you know but still that's true i mean if you if you want to eat you just you just walk where everyone's fine it's it's lunchtime so i guess we're gonna go this way

00:25:14.75
Mike
Right.

00:25:18.16
Mike
myha Right.

00:25:24.92
Mike
ahha right

00:25:27.19
Bill
yeah you know so yeah you just kind of kind of do what everyone else does but once again maybe you you read that one before but fuck who knows if it was if you did is probably 30 episodes ago so that's the that's the beauty of sticking around for a while we can we can tell the same stories read the same readings use the same pictures

00:25:39.69
Mike
Sure. Uh-huh. All

00:25:50.32
Bill
that's all we happened once you know which i i don't think uh i don't know you think we brought it up on here not that it matters i'm not going to say which picture it was but we had we had one duplicate picture in what's now 125 episodes you know not including this one and um you know it just it just happened but who fucking cares so

00:25:59.62
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:26:06.56
Mike
It did. Yeah, right. Getting old and senile!

00:26:12.49
Bill
Well, you know, it's just that it happened to be the same phrase that we used in both episodes.

00:26:16.64
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:26:17.24
Bill
And it was just it was a fun one and it was natural to search for it. And, you know, so that that picture that picture came up.

00:26:21.61
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:26:23.94
Bill
Google's like, hey, you look for this before. Here you go.

00:26:26.95
Mike
Right.

00:26:28.58
Bill
So anything else or um I mean, we think we got to everything out of the reading or anything else.

00:26:33.24
Mike
Yeah, no, I that but i got nothing.

00:26:35.58
Bill
OK. ah All right, cool. So just real quickly, because since I was rambling about other things when we first started off, um we do have some guests coming up. Surprisingly for us, I think, not that we haven't had authors on before, but we have three authors coming up in the next um little over 30 days. So um Dr.

00:26:55.59
Mike
Right.

00:26:56.70
Bill
Sarah, oh, I'm sorry. you know We've got a gentleman by the name of John M.

00:26:59.77
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:27:00.76
Bill
um He's coming on on August 9th. and he just he just approached us and you know said hey you know this is who i am this is what i want to talk about i don't remember how much time he's got a little bit more than us or some you know he's got more time than us um he's written i don't know i think three or four books um different stuff and um seemed like a decent guy you know both mike and i you know obviously looked at his shit and you know looked at it and the and the thing with this you know what i was thinking about is

00:27:04.63
Mike
Okay. Right. Hmm. Uh huh. Yeah.

00:27:27.70
Bill
outside of our friends you know that we've asked to be on when's the last time that we actually asked somebody to be on here i mean again yeah outside of our friends yeah it's it's been a long time it's been a long time because we i think we tried to go after i was i was begging for guests to begin with you remember they used to post

00:27:30.99
Mike
Right.

00:27:36.56
Mike
I don't, right. I don't think we have.

00:27:47.28
Mike
Yeah. Right. Right.

00:27:48.15
Bill
And that's how we got, yeah we got a few people like Gio, we got, um I think from that and a few other people that approached us when we were asking for guests.

00:27:51.62
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:27:57.00
Bill
But, you know, I thought about, I'm like, it's, there's been a long string for the most part, where it's just you and I, which has been fine.

00:27:58.32
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:28:03.41
Bill
It's been comfortable. Maybe, maybe not everyone else likes it. I don't know. Fuck it, but they don't, right?

00:28:06.73
Mike
by What are you listening for?

00:28:09.09
Bill
And I know and you know what we we found enough things to talk about but it is it's it's nice to be approached it it feels good it's um you know it's not a again not an eagle thing it just feels good to have somebody approach us and and want to be on here which is what uh you know obviously what john did so he'll be on on august 9th um dr sarah's coming back another author we've had her on before but same thing she's going to talk about her book

00:28:10.32
Mike
yeah

00:28:24.36
Mike
Yeah. h All right.

00:28:33.64
Bill
she's coming on on August 23rd and then our not to be named guest or not named yet guest which I have I gotta check with them and see if we can announce it but um we're recording it early but that's gonna release on Sunday September 1st and that gentleman is also an author um you know two time authors so yeah between now and September 1st we've got three authors coming up which again I just thought that was kind of kind of fun if nothing else you know so yeah

00:28:36.37
Mike
Mm-hmm, right.

00:28:47.85
Mike
Mm-hmm, yes.

00:28:59.10
Mike
Absolutely, yeah, you know, well, people share in their good thoughts. Good, thank you.

00:29:03.93
Bill
Exactly, exactly. But um yeah, other than other than that, so nothing, we got the reading all good. We got that. We got our upcoming guest. We pitched that. Oh, just real quick. um So remember last week when I was like begging people, you know, kind of what I'd say, whoring people out, whoring ourselves out. Hey, tell somebody, listen, whatever.

00:29:18.52
Mike
Mm-hmm, right.

00:29:20.07
Bill
Guess what? Last week's episode, probably the lowest number of ah plays that we've had.

00:29:23.02
Mike
Hmm It is Right, hmm

00:29:27.41
Bill
in a long time okay but but it's the middle of fucking summer and it happens every year and i mean that these are low seem a little bit lower now because our our listenership has dropped a little bit but it is what it is i'm so but i thought about it so i'm gonna go the other direction don't tell anyone fuck them um you know reverse that reverse psychology yeah yeah don't don't

00:29:46.11
Mike
Yeah. Well, how do you get a drunk to do something? Tell him he can't. Yeah. So don't, don't share this. Don't like it. Don't give us any reviews.

00:29:52.89
Bill
yeah

00:29:54.34
Mike
Don't yet.

00:29:56.69
Bill
if you're If you're already listening and you've already liked it, that's fine, but no, you're not allowed to tell anyone. This is ours now.

00:30:01.92
Mike
Hmm.

00:30:02.99
Bill
we This is just between us.

00:30:03.20
Mike
That's right.

00:30:04.15
Bill
This is like the, we're in this we're in the podcast circle of trust. You can't tell anyone. So let's see how that works. yeah Right, yeah exactly.

00:30:12.94
Mike
Yeah, that'll be great.

00:30:15.58
Bill
If I could shut it off now, if you don't like it, I don't care. Fuck you.

00:30:17.22
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:30:18.33
Bill
No, don't do that.

00:30:19.54
Mike
yes Well, if you've made it this far it counts as a play.

00:30:21.41
Bill
All right. sir

00:30:23.87
Mike
So go ahead.

00:30:24.58
Bill
yeah yeah that's that is true that is true so yeah yeah we we just we hit our we hit our numbers so that's that's good right so um let's i'm still've i've actually done a decent job i had like three pages full of this shit i'm down to like two now so we have cleaned up some of this stuff Um, over the last, uh, I don't know a few weeks, but so here's one from a while ago.

00:30:24.59
Mike
We don't give a fuck.

00:30:39.57
Mike
Hmm. All right.

00:30:45.35
Bill
I know just cause it's towards the end of the page. So, um, I wrote down being direct versus sugar coating something, especially when it comes to, um, you know, obviously this thing and the sober thing and stuff like that. Um, when do we have to be softer or do we ever need to be less forward? And, and I don't know if that really makes any sense, but in, uh,

00:31:04.33
Mike
Mmm.

00:31:06.41
Bill
Maybe I'll just, ah I'll keep it at that. You can take it for what it's worth. So let me say that again. So when it comes to, you know, obviously we're sober and all those things, when do we have to maybe be softer and less forward with people? Anything that pops off the top of your head, like sugar coating versus just being direct on somebody.

00:31:22.19
Mike
Hmm. Um, I mean, well, you know, if it's, it comes to that, you know, gratuitous honesty thing, you know, um, if it's, if it's going to be cruel, if it's, you know, again, pretty back to the fucking absolutes, man.

00:31:31.15
Bill
yeah Right.

00:31:37.54
Mike
Is it loving?

00:31:37.82
Bill
Right.

00:31:38.93
Mike
Is it, you know, that's one of them. Oh, that's a big one. And, um, yeah, you know, if it's going to hurt somebody, then, you know, um, it's case by case basis, clearly. Um, you know, I mean, sometimes, you know, you need that smack in the face, that, that finger in your chest. Um, Hmm, you know, um, but for the most part right don't be don't be Don't be honest for the sake of being honest just because honesty without compassion is cruelty oh So, but yeah, I mean

00:32:09.89
Bill
Right.

00:32:14.08
Mike
it's It's pretty rare that you really have to do that, I would hope. um the way you the The way I've structured my life is, um you know, if if there's some bullshit going on in front of me, I'm going to say, hey, that's bullshit. I'm not going to try to coddle anybody because... yes I don't have time for it anymore. I don't, I just don't. Um, so yeah, you know, if it's bullshit, I'm going to call bullshit. I'm not going to, I'm not going to be cruel. I'm not going to, um, I'm going to just say that's bullshit and I'm going to walk away.

00:32:47.60
Mike
Um, and hopefully then they will take that and they will fix it or they will continue to spew bullshit and, but they're not going to do it at me.

00:32:47.73
Bill
right Right. You you take your bullshit over that away all the way over there So and Neil's funny when I was reading that I almost said so yeah, maybe compared to like the absolutes That's why I stopped myself because I then I'm like fuck.

00:32:59.81
Mike
Yep. Yep. Right over there.

00:33:08.95
Mike
here

00:33:10.36
Bill
I almost like you know, I wanted to get your opinion That's the first thing that I don't remember when I wrote it down. But as I was reading it, that's what I thought about was the absolute so I almost I almost like spit out the answer that I thought you might give anyhow to begin with

00:33:14.84
Mike
ah so Sure. Right.

00:33:23.90
Bill
But yeah, the the only thing I could think about and it's happened. um I guess so rarely ah Since I've been sober, you know to have to really get in somebody's face and ah you know say something like that The only time is if I don't know if if somebody has really been and it's been again It's been rare, but I could think of maybe one or two circumstances as if somebody's um

00:33:30.85
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:33:45.40
Bill
I don't know. I didn't want to say coming at me. That's not the right way to put it. But you know what? If if somebody's acting a certain way and and it's affecting me personally, you know then I'm going to speak up for myself.

00:33:49.01
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:33:56.21
Mike
Yep.

00:33:56.31
Bill
I'm not just going to sit back and fucking take it. you know um But I'll be stern and straightforward.

00:33:58.65
Mike
Right.

00:34:02.73
Bill
I'm not going to sugarcoat things. you know And you know ah only on the time I guess I've had to do that probably would be in a work situation when I but i actually had you know staff and employees and stuff like that.

00:34:09.53
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:34:13.53
Bill
but even then i mean i would say more so then you got to be really fucking careful how you say things you know but you got to be just open but like this is this is what the deal is this is what the problem is and this is what could happen type of thing you know that you know if if if you do this then this could happen that that consequence type of thing but um but yeah i like the way you put that though if you see You know bullshit happening in front of you um, and I don't like to see people get you know Either taken advantage of or abused or I don't mean physically or anything like that, you know But you know even verbal abuse or you know, just being a somebody being a dick to somebody like that um, but again i've had I don't think I can't think of any situations right off the top of my head where i've had to do that but

00:34:18.33
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:34:28.93
Mike
Well.

00:34:41.36
Mike
Mmhmm. Sure. Mmhmm. Right.

00:34:55.41
Bill
um So I guess the main point would be standing up for ourselves and you know not not being a fucking doormat because I think that was That we were told right right away to begin with I think that I don't remember a Phyllis told us that or if we were just told in meetings that you know, We we need to you know um Again, all these different things.

00:35:02.82
Mike
Mmhmm. Hmm.

00:35:12.60
Bill
We've got to be our humble and we've got to take things and we've got to be less reactive But um we we don't have to be a doormat, you know

00:35:17.67
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yeah, exactly. You know, if you're doing the right thing in your side of the streets, clean. Fuck it, man. You know, and like I said, and if it's if it's too much, then you've got to go away. You know, either I'm going to step away or you get a step away, but we're not going to interact and we're not going to dance like this anymore.

00:35:32.38
Bill
Right.

00:35:38.26
Mike
It's just I again, I don't have time for it anymore. I'm too fucking sober for this shit.

00:35:42.14
Bill
Right. okay Yeah, and that's that's probably the that's probably the best way to put it. There's there's just certain things that, um there well, there's many things so you know that i know I know both of us um just don't get involved in and won't tolerate.

00:35:52.06
Mike
Mm-hmm

00:35:56.79
Bill
It's not even tolerated.

00:35:56.84
Mike
Right Right Right Mm

00:35:57.63
Bill
We don't put ourselves in circumstances anymore for the most part, at least not by choice, where we have to deal with you know that bullshit in front of us. you know And we always have the ability to to walk away from the bullshit, like you said. you know One of us is gonna, between you and whoever the bullshit is going on with, you know Somebody's gonna somebody's gonna walk away and it's easier to sometimes just for us to fucking leave, you know, I'm done.

00:36:17.88
Mike
-hmm. Yep. Yep.

00:36:19.56
Bill
Bye

00:36:20.21
Mike
Bye

00:36:22.76
Bill
But, uh, yeah, that was, uh, like I said, I almost, I almost spit out the absolute thing in there because it, uh, I dunno, it just, uh, it's exactly what I thought about. So, all right. So it's getting close to break time, but I got real quick one because I don't know if I ever asked this question.

00:36:34.79
Mike
All right.

00:36:36.66
Bill
Did you ever, um, with the exception of detox, did you ever use any type of medications, um, at all when you were trying to quit either drinking or using? I just don't know if I ever asked you that question.

00:36:48.03
Mike
Like before I got sober, I mean.

00:36:53.40
Bill
Yeah. I mean, like, like trying to get sober. And I was thinking about, and this was months and months and months ago, I think when, um, I dunno, there's medications right now, like whatever they call them, like cessation medications or whatever to come off of alcohol or even something like a methadone or anything like that that you tried to use to either come down or quit or, or anything.

00:36:55.17
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:37:12.29
Bill
I just didn't, I don't think I've ever asked you anything like that.

00:37:14.89
Mike
Hmm No, no, I never did no, I mean, you know, I've you know clearly, um you know switching substances to To try to you know, this one's bad.

00:37:17.53
Bill
Okay.

00:37:24.59
Mike
This one's not so bad. So I'll just do this um Yeah, although, you know all the same bullshit that we do but now I mean I never know Now that would be admitting I had a problem.

00:37:34.98
Bill
Right. Well, and like I said, I mean, i right you know what that's a good point. and And the thing of it is, and if if if there's people out there that use medications and have used them successfully, I mean, more power to you.

00:37:49.71
Mike
No, sure.

00:37:50.31
Bill
I know you said you said you've known a lot of people that you know try to come off, use the whole methadone thing, and then use it forever, and then use it as a crutch.

00:37:57.01
Mike
Right.

00:37:57.96
Bill
We've talked about those things.

00:37:58.11
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:37:59.73
Bill
you know or like you said, maybe, um I don't know, quit quit drinking or you know smoke weed ah is ah is a substitute, then do that forever, which again, what whatever people's choice to do.

00:38:06.02
Mike
Right? Mmhmm.

00:38:08.83
Bill
But um I think the point of of using something, a medication like that, is to ultimately stop using altogether, right?

00:38:17.14
Mike
everything right that one would hope but yeah, but again that added that entails doing some work and getting to the root of the problem and all that crap that we have to do to actually get sober and um Yeah, if you're just you know trying to substitute one for another whatever the fuck natural wine is in the big book um I Still don't have an answer to that.

00:38:24.35
Bill
Right.

00:38:39.21
Mike
I probably it never will um, but right yeah substituting one for another and yeah yeah

00:38:40.91
Bill
Right.

00:38:44.46
Mike
It doesn't work, man. You got to get to the root of the problem, figure out what it is, fix that fucking problem. And then, hey, guess what? You don't have to use anything.

00:38:52.55
Bill
Right. Yeah. It just, ah and I, I know there's, that there's people out there that I'm sure there's people out there. Well, I know for a fact, there are other people that have used, you know, medications for whatever reason to, you know, and have used them successfully. I don't know of, I don't think I know of any of our, maybe there are some of our friends that use, use something when they, when they quit, but I just, I just don't know.

00:39:05.79
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:39:13.16
Bill
But it was just, it, I wrote that down again a long, long time ago and it was just a question that I, I just don't think I've ever asked you.

00:39:13.49
Mike
Hmm.

00:39:19.56
Bill
So yeah.

00:39:19.96
Mike
Right now. Yeah. No, no, never, never. Like I said, just, you know, the usual bullshit that we do.

00:39:27.17
Bill
Right.

00:39:27.15
Mike
Yeah. That's all I've ever done. Cause again, I'm just a garden variety drunk.

00:39:29.49
Bill
Gotcha.

00:39:31.84
Bill
Yeah. And like you said, that would have admitted that you actually had a problem.

00:39:34.71
Mike
Exactly.

00:39:36.89
Bill
I need some help with some other drugs. That means I have a problem too.

00:39:41.04
Mike
Yep.

00:39:43.52
Bill
All right. So I guess on on that note, what do you think? Break time?

00:39:46.64
Mike
Sure, absolutely. Well, we'll be right back after these words from our sponsors.

00:40:01.04
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome back. And yeah, it was funny when you said sponsors last week and you said sponsors again, we only had, it was just our ad the last time our website thing, but not that did it matters, it was just, it was nice.

00:40:10.31
Mike
ah

00:40:14.38
Bill
It was nice that you said it. And if we get two of them, it's great, but I don't know, everyone everyone has those ads right now. So I think everyone's used to them, but um I don't know, they they end up getting plopped in there.

00:40:21.25
Mike
Mm-hmm, right Mm

00:40:24.79
Bill
And the the funny thing is this, this is just obviously a complete side note so listening to some other other podcasts and sober friends is a great example because Matt who again we had on here we consider him a friend and um he puts a lot of work into that podcast you can tell I mean it's very polished everything that they do and especially the ins the outs and when they go into an ad he's got this little kind of a musical thing to it and

00:40:40.57
Mike
-hmm Hmm

00:40:50.86
Bill
you know like smart list they'll say okay we'll be right back that sort of thing and then back to the show but that I could do it I I know I can because once the once the ads get I popped in there I think I could look and I could add these breakers in there but I'm I'm not gonna do it.

00:40:58.46
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bhehehehehehe.

00:41:08.22
Bill
I'm just not the only here's here's the thing and it I will commit to this if we ever make a ton of fucking money We're like, this is all we're doing in this and this is our life is podcasting then Yes, either.

00:41:18.01
Mike
That! Mm-hmm.

00:41:22.22
Bill
Well, no, I've been at that point. We'd probably pay somebody do it. So fuck it. I I personally will probably never do it I

00:41:30.10
Mike
I was gonna say I'd help you out, but now fuck it man. Yes. We'll get somebody else to do it Mm

00:41:35.90
Bill
Yeah, and you know what the thing with is I haven't even I haven't even looked but I I'm pretty goddamn sure cuz I I've learned that's the other thing that that's kind of fun with this and um Now all of this is down to and I would say I have things down to it's ah it's a rhythm probably more I say it's down to a science but it says there's nothing scientific about this shit

00:41:48.09
Mike
-hmm

00:41:52.94
Bill
I've got everything down to a like a rhythm you know with how i how I put everything together. and it's and It's easy as long as I don't have any technology interruptions or every once in a while a file will download slowly. um i mean I can knock an episode out um after we're done in about an hour and 15 minutes. if I could probably get it done in an hour if I didn't.

00:42:09.98
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:42:12.45
Bill
I'll get up and I'll run outside or I'll go grab a soda. I'll do this and I'll do that while things are loading up.

00:42:15.06
Mike
Right.

00:42:16.81
Bill
and but i've learned now how to do things while other things are you know kind of i hate the term of multitasking so i don't like the fucking word but i can when i'm doing more than one thing at a time or doing something while it's downloading um but it's not that hard.

00:42:24.21
Mike
right

00:42:31.03
Bill
You know so i i've got a pretty good idea of what i have to do i'm just not gonna put any more time into this i'm just not.

00:42:36.75
Mike
Right, right.

00:42:37.55
Bill
because Because right now, when when I listen to it seriously, um when I listen to the the finished product, and as it has nothing to do with me. I've learned how to put things. Just all I've learned how to do is put things, put a puzzle together. That's it.

00:42:50.26
Mike
Right.

00:42:50.80
Bill
um i'm not This is not kudos to me or anything like that, but it sounds really nice. I've been i've i've learned and been taught things to make this thing sound.

00:42:56.17
Mike
Yeah.

00:42:59.59
Mike
Right.

00:42:59.99
Bill
it It sounds, mom used to say that, and this is before we were able to piece a lot of these things together like we have now.

00:43:02.56
Mike
right

00:43:06.37
Mike
Right.

00:43:06.63
Bill
She's like, that sounds really good when it's all put together. And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, it kind of makes us, you know, look like we know what we're doing, right?

00:43:13.00
Mike
Right.

00:43:13.14
Bill
She's like, she's like, it really does.

00:43:13.57
Mike
Right. he

00:43:17.13
Bill
But so I'm proud of the way it way it is. um And that's, that's good enough. And, you know, I don't know, some podcasts sound far worse than us.

00:43:22.11
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:43:24.85
Bill
And they, yeah you know, I mean, there, there's some, okay, so did you hear um date well David Spade and Dana Carvey, did I talk about them?

00:43:25.17
Mike
Oh yeah.

00:43:32.22
Bill
They've got the fly in the wall podcast.

00:43:33.28
Mike
Yeah. i'm I'm aware of the podcast. Yeah. I don't know if we talked about it on here, but yeah.

00:43:35.92
Bill
Okay. Well, I don't know how I ended up popping into a few of them. um i I enjoy both of them. I like David Spade more than I like Dana Carvey, I think.

00:43:44.43
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:43:45.26
Bill
um David Spade it just how he fucking makes me laugh. But the two of them together, I mean, they're friends. They got some decent guests.

00:43:50.81
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:43:51.09
Bill
But the funny part is, is that they'll have people like Mark does in in front, like in studio type of thing, quote unquote.

00:43:56.81
Mike
Right.

00:43:57.93
Bill
and those are great than a lot of other people like they had Anthony Michael Holland who i think is an interesting individual and i didn't realize all the shit that he did great career and a great conversation um but it was like a it was literally it was a bad zoom call it was painful to listen to and these guys are fucking millionaires.

00:44:02.96
Mike
Right.

00:44:11.65
Mike
right

00:44:14.21
Mike
isn

00:44:17.35
Mike
Right.

00:44:17.60
Bill
And I'm like, get a studio. I mean, and I don't mean a studio. We're sitting in bedrooms recording this and we spend $20 a month.

00:44:24.34
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:26.38
Bill
They have this online studio, you know, but then other ones smart list sounds great all the time and certain ones, but I don't know.

00:44:28.23
Mike
Right.

00:44:33.30
Bill
So I guess for, for as much as we, we, for as little as we spend on this and as little as we know about this, I think it sounds pretty God damn good. So I'm just, I don't know.

00:44:40.91
Mike
Right.

00:44:41.96
Bill
I'm not, I'm not doing anything more to it. That's all.

00:44:44.41
Mike
a There.

00:44:45.72
Bill
So there All right, so just real quick I want to tell you about the whole Airbnb thing and I'll i'll let you decide in the end But I think this has some sobriety some tools that I was able to use, you know through this stuff So I had mentioned last week that I was supposed to be in Wisconsin this week.

00:44:52.38
Mike
All right.

00:45:02.73
Bill
Well, I wasn't okay. I was I was on Saturday

00:45:03.95
Mike
Right. Right.

00:45:07.08
Bill
yeah

00:45:07.49
Mike
You went there.

00:45:08.57
Bill
i did go there so um that you know i've been doing this airbnb thing i think i've uh i think i've got ten or eleven reviews so i probably stayed at thirteen or fourteen different places in the last year or whatever it's been you know including the chippewa lake one okay so let over the last whatever it was so that one's the outside one

00:45:20.45
Mike
Right.

00:45:27.07
Bill
And you know thankfully to this point, you know I don't believe in knock it on wood or whatever, but I've had no issues whatsoever with getting in or anything like that or no host problems, a couple of things that I've been able to work out, nothing big. you know So I do a lot of research on these.

00:45:38.08
Mike
Right.

00:45:41.55
Bill
There's certain things I need like the ethernet connection, the internet speed. um I make sure that the that the you know decent neighborhood is gonna be quietish. I do a lot of background work before I actually book something.

00:45:51.71
Mike
Right.

00:45:52.01
Bill
And I tried a book, they've got super hosts or guest favorites. um Even if it's that, then I'll read the reviews.

00:45:55.88
Mike
Mm

00:45:58.48
Bill
If people complained, I'll usually it's nitpicky shit. you know And the the one complaint that this guy had was um ah two people had said out of the, I mean, he, the guy had a lot of reviews and they were all good.

00:46:01.92
Mike
hmm.

00:46:09.83
Bill
you know And people had said, well, we had to we had when we had to call for the code when we got there. But other than that, it was no big deal. And they would rate the guy four out of five, just probably just for that because you know they had to pick up a phone. you know

00:46:20.20
Mike
Mmhmm.

00:46:21.02
Bill
And I'm like, that's stupid. You know, I don't care. So I knew I'd have to call for the code when I got there. But I get to um Shana, which is about 25 minutes away from where I'm going to be going to do my grocery shopping, send the guy a message. And I'm like, Hey, you know, here's a deal. I said, you know, here's where I'm at, it's probably gonna be an hour or so till I get there. But you know, when do you send the code, sent the message to my grocery shop and didn't hear from didn't think about it. So I get there and it's like 20 after three or something like that. Check-in was by three and I still hadn't heard from him.

00:46:49.96
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:46:51.81
Bill
So, you know, you can call and technically it's through the app, but it's his phone number and I'm like, well, that's fucking weird, you know?

00:46:56.62
Mike
All right.

00:46:57.99
Bill
So call, leave a message, don't hear anything. I message him, you know, through the app and I'm like, like, hey, you know, just so you know, I just called and even his voicemail said, hey, if, you know, if you don't hear from me, text me, blah, blah, blah, you know, just his general voicemail.

00:47:08.30
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:47:09.70
Bill
So I did that. so i'm waiting around it's like 10 minutes and i get nothing it's like 15 so i try to call text message again right because now i mean i've got my grocery sitting in my car for like 45 minutes right from the from the time i bought him including ice cream and meat

00:47:22.49
Mike
Yeah.

00:47:25.48
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:47:26.74
Bill
And I just, I turned my air conditioning down to like, it's like 63 degrees in my car. And it's just, I got everything down in the passenger floor. So it was blowing on it. Right. So again, you know, calling, calling, calling. So now it's four o'clock now it's four 15. Now it's, it's almost four 30.

00:47:39.80
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:47:41.61
Bill
I'm like, fuck it man, I don't know what to do. So I called Airbnb, you know, you could do a support request, get the people on the phone.

00:47:46.68
Mike
Sure.

00:47:47.53
Bill
They're like, Oh, here's what we'll do.

00:47:47.64
Mike
Right.

00:47:48.91
Bill
We'll try to get a hold of them. You know, can't get in because I can't get a code for the lockbox. Um, so they try calling them. They send me a message and like, Oh, we're, we have to give it 30 minutes. Then we'll get back to you. I'm like, well, my food is fucked either way, maybe, but either way.

00:48:00.78
Mike
Hmm.

00:48:01.81
Bill
So at this point, it's almost like, you know, by a time all sudden done, it's like, you know, quarter to five or something like that. They've called, they've tried to call him, email him and text him, didn't hear anything. And three times during this process, they did it.

00:48:11.54
Mike
Right.

00:48:13.99
Bill
Through my process, I probably tried to call him, text him and call him and texted him.

00:48:17.86
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:48:18.48
Bill
I texted him probably five or six times, tried to call him like nine, you know?

00:48:22.34
Mike
Right.

00:48:23.75
Bill
And I'm like, fuck man, you know? So I even drove up to where the house was, you know, figuring, hey, is anyone there? It's, it's, I didn't even get out, but you can tell nobody's there.

00:48:32.33
Mike
Right.

00:48:33.39
Bill
So, um, the lady at the Airbnb, she's like, okay, here's your, here's your options, which I've, again, I've never had to deal with this.

00:48:36.43
Mike
Mm

00:48:39.19
Bill
She's like, we can try to look for a comparable place.

00:48:39.79
Mike
hmm.

00:48:41.57
Bill
You know, um, can you go ahead and book it? And then we'll do a refund. I'm like, I don't have, you know, an extra, whatever number of hundreds of dollars to do this.

00:48:46.97
Mike
Right.

00:48:49.36
Bill
I'm like, I said, this place was a little bit more than I wanted to spend, but I want to be up there.

00:48:54.13
Mike
Mm

00:48:54.33
Bill
It doesn't matter. But I'm like, said no, I don't. Well, we can, you could book a hotel and we'll reimburse you 20%.

00:48:57.29
Mike
hmm.

00:49:00.29
Bill
I'm like, I am not spending

00:49:03.02
Mike
I've already spent the money, right?

00:49:04.73
Bill
Yeah, I'm not spending another dime. He said, on top of that, I get a car full of stuff, including all my work stuff, electronics and stuff.

00:49:10.09
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:49:11.44
Bill
I'm not keeping my car at a parking lot overnight, you know?

00:49:14.68
Mike
Right.

00:49:15.55
Bill
So I said, no. So then she said, she goes, we can, we can give you a coupon for the full amount and we'll try to find a comparable listing. I'm like, Huh? So literally they're talking about giving me a coupon for a place for the same cost and they'll book it for me and then still refund me.

00:49:27.37
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:49:31.53
Bill
I'm like, let's do that.

00:49:32.95
Mike
Right.

00:49:33.09
Bill
So she's like, I found three options for you. Um, this lady was a little hard to understand, not, not from this area.

00:49:38.49
Mike
Mm-hmm, from out of town.

00:49:39.03
Bill
Let me just put it that way. Very, very nice, sweet lady, but yeah, a little hard to understand.

00:49:43.09
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:44.69
Bill
Um, first, I mean, she finds three places for me, sends it to them. Look at them like this one. I'm like, all of a sudden I look at their fucking Michigan and I'm like,

00:49:51.05
Mike
Ah, right.

00:49:52.53
Bill
I'm

00:49:54.32
Mike
Across the lake.

00:49:55.71
Bill
Yeah, I mean, probably upper Michigan, but still I'm probably an hour, at least an hour away from any one of these ones.

00:49:58.07
Mike
Aha.

00:50:01.01
Mike
Right.

00:50:01.29
Bill
But then on top of it, even if something would have been comparable, um it's not just a matter of I just need a place to stay. I need ethernet connection, the internet speed, I got to call the person, all this stuff.

00:50:07.40
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:50:10.53
Bill
Finally, I'm like, you know what? I said, just, none of this is going to work. I said, cancel it, do whatever you got to do.

00:50:16.26
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:50:17.00
Bill
um But I said, you know what? Because I said a couple i had to apologize to her twice, kind of like 10 step, you know?

00:50:23.60
Mike
Right.

00:50:24.30
Bill
And that's where my first step of the sobriety thing comes in because I wasn't yelling at her, but I i was up so i was upset and i was I was anxious, you know?

00:50:28.66
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah, right. Clearly.

00:50:32.43
Bill
And like three times I told her, I said, I am so sorry. I said, this has nothing to do with you. I said, the only thing though, I said, this is your guy, okay?

00:50:39.40
Mike
Right.

00:50:39.98
Bill
And I said, he's a he's he's a super host, you know? So I said, you're supposed to be trust.

00:50:43.73
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:50:44.28
Bill
I don't be able to trust it. And I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I said, here's the deal. I said, cancel it. But I said, here's what I want. I still want a coupon.

00:50:53.12
Mike
Yeah.

00:50:53.19
Bill
I said for my troubles.

00:50:53.28
Mike
yeah

00:50:54.19
Bill
I said I said I I'm gonna end up, you know, nine hours of driving a hundred dollars in gas You know, I said I'm i'm sitting here.

00:50:57.85
Mike
Right.

00:51:00.36
Bill
I got to throw out probably thirty or forty dollars in food You know that I got to throw out. I'm like I want something back So she's like well, we'll do this.

00:51:06.66
Mike
right

00:51:07.46
Bill
We'll cancel it then I'll check and I'll get back to you and I said fine. Fuck it. I now at this point it's fucking pouring right not that that not that that matters but so i start driving back i i see the things pop up that it's cancelled i see this popping by phone i'm driving i'm like 20 minutes out and i stopped and i had to get some gas and i used the restroom and as i'm pulling into this gas station my phone's ringing and it's a 715 area code which is the area code for this host right

00:51:13.73
Mike
right

00:51:24.27
Mike
Right. Right.

00:51:34.16
Bill
and i'm like this motherfucker is calling me right so i'm like swipe the call dead now i'm not taking that fucking thing i go in i get coffee i you know i um went to the bathroom then i saw i had a voicemail message and two text messages from them right so i listen to the voicemail message like oh because i i'm so sorry and you know if you can if you want to come back and you know i'll give you a discount and

00:51:40.09
Mike
right

00:51:47.38
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:51:56.01
Bill
um you know I apologize, obviously 100% my fault. Then I look at his text messages and he's like, yeah, he goes, hey I'm so sorry because I had to take my daughter to the doctor and blah, blah, blah. I text on the back and I said, I said, here's the deal. I said, well, first of all, I said, you know based on your your voicemail, I said, absolutely not. I said, I'm not coming back under any circumstance.

00:52:12.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:52:15.52
Bill
I said, this, this, this, this drive, this money, blah, blah, blah. I said, no. I said, I'm done. It's canceled, it's done. you know

00:52:21.61
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:52:22.37
Bill
um And I wasn't mean about it. I was just again, but back to the sugarcoating thing and that had nothing to do with this So then he messages me back and he's like he's like well he goes ah but I had to take my daughter I'm like, um you know, this is what i'll I'll reimburse you the hundred and fifty bucks or whatever you think you've spent and I looked at it and I'm about to fucking go off right about the you motherfucker you have no fucking out and I'm like nope put the phone back down got gas drove and and didn't text him back, right?

00:52:26.35
Mike
Yeah.

00:52:28.67
Mike
Right.

00:52:40.85
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:52:51.92
Bill
So sobriety point number two, because I'm like, i I wanted to go off and I left it, right?

00:52:57.27
Mike
Right.

00:52:58.14
Bill
So I'm driving along and I'm just like, no radio on, no nothing.

00:53:01.72
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:53:01.86
Bill
um'm just fucking I'm just fucking right? Because I'm like, now I'm going to drive another fucking four and a half hour stone. We're back to Indiana.

00:53:07.65
Mike
Right. Right.

00:53:09.45
Bill
Then another text pops up and he's like, he's like, well, I did text you five minutes after they canceled. So I hope you would least understand where I'm coming from.

00:53:17.66
Mike
Mm.

00:53:18.50
Bill
And once again, I wanted to pull over and just be like, listen to your mother. I'm like, don't drove, you know? So for about an hour, um I just sat there and i I wasn't really stewing. I was just kind of thinking, you know?

00:53:29.70
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:53:30.11
Bill
and And here's what I thought. So two things, I didn't go off on him, which I really wanted to.

00:53:35.16
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:53:36.31
Bill
I knew, I knew where the house was and now I know his phone number. I didn't go back and bust up the house.

00:53:39.18
Mike
All

00:53:41.32
Bill
I didn't, didn't have done anything with his phone number because that has name as voicemail too.

00:53:43.32
Mike
right.

00:53:45.94
Bill
So I don't remember what his last name is now, but I could have figured that out again.

00:53:48.85
Mike
is

00:53:49.83
Bill
No retaliation whatsoever, which everyone out there, I know that sounds like a sick thing to say, but you know, years ago, but that was my, that would have been my MO. Right.

00:53:58.04
Mike
Right.

00:53:59.01
Bill
And. But on top of that, I start thinking about this. I'm like, OK, so this could have been worse. So I'm like, I could have been in Texas, you know, with no place to go.

00:54:07.59
Mike
Right?

00:54:09.18
Bill
But I'm like, yeah I'm pretty resourceful one way or the other.

00:54:11.25
Mike
Mhmm.

00:54:11.83
Bill
If that would happen, I would have figured something out. And then at that point, I would have had to you know do the work to find another place and use Airbnb. and It would have worked out. And I'm confident that it would have worked out. But so that was number one. you know but on top of that you know i have a place you know to that's within driving distance to go back um but that but the main thing is and here's the other thing that i thought about in it i don't know um it's kind of those moments where. um I don't know that an easy feeling right or if we're if we're said. Don't do this or cuz i could have easily went back and rebooked and did whatever.

00:54:45.90
Bill
And in this part of me was like fucking I'm already up here on mine as well, but I'm like nope I can't just didn't feel right, right?

00:54:45.91
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Mm hmm.

00:54:52.59
Bill
So I'm like For whatever reason maybe I wasn't supposed to be in Wisconsin last week or this week I why I don't know, you know um Nothing special happened this week for me to be here.

00:54:58.91
Mike
Right. ah

00:55:04.56
Bill
Nothing bad happened was done Wisconsin to get didn't get blown off the map or anything like that you know, so I don't know the reason but I the

00:55:08.43
Mike
Right.

00:55:30.06
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:55:31.10
Bill
So I'm not overspending on anything. But every time I do it, um I question myself just a little bit. I'm like, do I really need to do this? Do I really need? Because this wasn't like a plan trip. This would have been like an in-between type of thing.

00:55:43.39
Mike
Right.

00:55:43.79
Bill
um But then I'm like, OK, so at the time I booked it, i'm like there's I almost like ran things.

00:55:47.08
Mike
Hmm.

00:55:48.89
Bill
In my head, I almost run things through the absolutes. I'm not doing it for any reason. I'm not trying to storm out of here. I didn't have a fight with anyone. I'm not running from the law.

00:55:58.47
Mike
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.

00:56:00.16
Bill
But you know there's there's no negative motives for me doing it so i did it but there was i had some sort of weird. Just a hesitation when i booked that trip and i to this point i don't know why um you know but something was a more of a hesitation i've ever had with booking anything else which is it was after to the fact that i thought about i'm like.

00:56:07.61
Mike
Hmm.

00:56:18.70
Bill
and I remember that hesitation like was I supposed to have says some sort of fucking sign I don't know, you know, I'm not that guy really but um All said and done it was fine.

00:56:22.09
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:56:26.90
Bill
I got a they gave me a two hundred and thirty dollar voucher Didn't give me the full, you know full deal But I got a little bit of a voucher and then I ended up I booked this place in West Virginia This is pretty cool.

00:56:30.67
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:56:38.38
Bill
This is this cabin in Murphy ever heard of mur on not West Virginia, North Carolina Never heard of Murphy, North Carolina

00:56:43.15
Mike
Hmm.

00:56:45.73
Mike
It's not ringing a bell, but I'm sure I've been near it.

00:56:47.78
Bill
Okay It's the it's the tip of north carolina by tennessee georgia north carolina that tip and it's like right at the base of It's this little cabin area kind of really isolated which is gonna be fucking cool This newer cabin thing.

00:56:53.09
Mike
Okay. Well.

00:56:59.31
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:57:00.58
Bill
I saw it. I don't know months ago when it was booked. But anyhow, so i'm um august 17th through the 31st i'm going there so i use my coupon, you know to book that one up but uh but anyhow so all said and done i don't know it was a it was a fucked up situation but my my whole point with this is that um you know had i been god i first of all if i was still drinking i never could afford to do anything like this i never none of this stuff would have fallen into into place but even take that aside um i would not have acted properly you know um oh plus i would have been drunk by the time i get up there and i would have to drive back some place he'd be even be even more drunk

00:57:08.73
Mike
Cool.

00:57:22.50
Mike
Right. Right.

00:57:36.71
Bill
I'm just saying, you know i i was a drink I was a drinker and driver.

00:57:36.81
Mike
right

00:57:40.11
Bill
I'm not proud of it you know at all, but I did it a lot.

00:57:40.33
Mike
Oh yeah.

00:57:44.44
Bill
you know um and just ah I don't know, it would have been a bad thing.

00:57:44.63
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Me too.

00:57:47.85
Bill
you know i would have I would have reacted and acted and put myself in in horrible circumstances, and I'm just just glad I don't have to do that today.

00:57:50.49
Mike
hu Right.

00:57:56.09
Bill
you know so

00:57:56.93
Mike
sir

00:57:58.45
Bill
But um yeah, I mean, all said and done, it's like, um I don't know, there's, because the way that I looked at it, you know, because you feel a little gun shy after something like that, but um I did, I do everything that, if you want to put it this way, I do all the due diligence and the research that I need to, um when I book these things, I don't just book something fucking willy-nilly, you know?

00:58:06.32
Mike
Right.

00:58:14.58
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

00:58:19.13
Bill
um I do a lot of research, I spend a lot of fucking time before I, maybe more time than I need to, but I don't think so, because it's one place I have to live for a little bit.

00:58:27.82
Mike
Sure.

00:58:28.12
Bill
um you know So i I do whatever I can and if if something like this happened, what's what's the percentage of one out of 13 times? I don't even know what the percentage is, but you know so far that's my odds. you know

00:58:40.71
Mike
Yeah, right, right. And you got it out of the way. So like the next, you know, next 15 or so will be easy peasy.

00:58:51.57
Bill
right and you know that the funny part is when i was thinking it about uh right before we started um i looked up i already have the because this this place i'm going tomorrow um because i'm going to the um okay so here's the thing i am driving to wisconsin tomorrow whether i stay there for three weeks Just kidding. This, this guy, again, I, you know, get gun, gun, shy, whatever. But my point was I already have the, um, I already have the code for the lockbox.

00:59:13.00
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:59:16.95
Bill
It's already in within the Airbnb app.

00:59:17.32
Mike
Right.

00:59:19.04
Bill
Um, in this, this guy went, uh, this guy's been cool. I've had constant communication with him about a few different things, but, um, I'm really looking forward to to this trip and I'm heading out tomorrow.

00:59:25.86
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:59:28.13
Bill
But, um, but yeah, so all said and done, I mean, I don't know. I mean, it it is what it is. Like you said, yeah, could take get this one out of the way. And um, and yeah, it was a it was a long fucking day and then oh, so here's the other part that's funny so, you know I left like really fucking early on Saturday morning because I wanted to obviously get up there and um so Friday night, you know pack up all my stuff and I'm thinking at that point that I'm i'm gone for a month, right?

00:59:45.23
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:59:52.25
Mike
Right.

00:59:52.39
Bill
So that would have been this week and then you know three weeks whatever and then I'm probably coming back here for a week after before I go down to North Carolina and but um so you know i have pizza on friday night and i have leftovers and i'm like ah i'm just gonna i'm gonna throw these out because i don't need them and this and that and so i i get back and i eat a couple of apples i eat this fucking quick trip sandwich on the way back and they're it's a deli sandwich but this quick trip they make them there so it's decent but i just say i had to have something to eat on the way back i ate like a couple of apples that i had whatever

00:59:58.53
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

01:00:16.66
Mike
Right.

01:00:22.82
Bill
so i get back and i mean it's late it's like 10 o'clock and by the time i get everything settled it's like 10 30 i'm like oh shit i'm like at least i can have my leftover pizza and i walk downstairs open up the refrigerator i'm like fuck me i threw it out like uh i guess i'm just gonna have a drumstick and go to bed

01:00:30.67
Mike
ah Yep. Out.

01:00:40.97
Bill
Which is what I did so but I don't know I mean that the whole thing the in to say I was proud of myself is probably the wrong way to put it I was just I was grateful that I didn't That I didn't react because that was a as a fucked up situation to be in um Yeah Yeah

01:00:51.75
Mike
Right. Absolutely. Yeah. You're grateful. You had the tools and you use them to get through. Yeah. Fucked up situation. Yeah. That's why we have those things. Right.

01:01:03.38
Bill
Yeah. Can I, man, I hate being fucking tested like that, but you know, I tell you what, you know, I mean, we've, we've had some tests, you know, and this wasn't a big one. We've had bigger tests, yeah you know, and things like that, but, um, I dunno, I don't like being tested, but, um, I love the fact of, you know, after the fact going through something and yeah, in realizing, you know, really realizing that, uh, um, that, that, Hey, this is, this is what we do when this is what we were taught to do.

01:01:12.73
Mike
ah hu

01:01:15.49
Mike
Now passing the test.

01:01:28.71
Bill
And I'm fucking grateful for it.

01:01:29.12
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:30.67
Bill
I'm just really fucking grateful for it.

01:01:31.12
Mike
Yep.

01:01:32.77
Bill
So.

01:01:33.49
Mike
Cool.

01:01:34.21
Bill
So yeah, so yeah, hopefully, hopefully next week I will be, I'll be broadcasting from, uh, Oh yeah, actually I have to go.

01:01:38.01
Mike
be Great.

01:01:41.80
Bill
I think I told you that it's, uh, like seven or eight minutes away from iron mountain, Michigan, where I'm going.

01:01:46.70
Mike
Ah.

01:01:47.53
Bill
And I mean, that's where, um, all my shopping, I'm going to be in Michigan.

01:01:49.54
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:50.89
Bill
And then there's, you know, some trails and shit like that over there.

01:01:53.36
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:53.52
Bill
But yeah. Uh, pizza I got to get from, from Michigan. So yeah, I'll be all over fucking Michigan.

01:02:00.09
Mike
Nice. That's a UP, right?

01:02:02.03
Bill
Oh yeah. Yeah.

01:02:03.07
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

01:02:03.52
Bill
Yep.

01:02:03.55
Mike
I mean, it's beautiful up there.

01:02:05.61
Bill
Yeah, it's ah in in the thing of it is and like next weekend, the kids are coming up. um I think Derek and Katie are coming up on Friday. That's why obviously you and I are going to, I think being off. I'll file know for sure by like Monday, Tuesday, but we'll probably be recording on Tuesday just as a programming note. Side note, ah Thursday.

01:02:20.73
Mike
Thursday.

01:02:22.22
Bill
Did I say Tuesday?

01:02:23.09
Mike
You said Tuesday.

01:02:24.22
Bill
I'm sorry. Yeah.

01:02:24.92
Mike
a Right.

01:02:25.02
Bill
Thursday. Yeah. Thursday. was day I'm sorry.

01:02:26.64
Mike
Yeah. So the next couple of weeks we're going to be doing Thursdays. so

01:02:29.66
Bill
Yeah, yeah, we've got and that's it again, you know, we just we do what we got to do But yeah, we got some shit coming up that we're playing it around and um you know, but yeah, we're we're not gonna we're not gonna miss an episode So that's ah that's a good thing.

01:02:35.64
Mike
Right? Nope.

01:02:40.20
Bill
But um but yeah, I mean there I mean there's some areas and things like that It's right on that the Menominee River runs through there. So I don't know. I'm just I'm looking forward to just it's it is like you said beautiful up in that area, so But um

01:02:51.75
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. might Might see a moose.

01:02:57.67
Bill
Yeah. Oh, oh shit. I got to tell you about this. So um I'm scrolling through, you know, cause I don't know if you ever use Google Chrome, right and on your phone.

01:03:06.05
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:06.97
Bill
So when I, when you pull up Google Chrome now, it's like, got this, I don't know if that's something I haven't set up and it's got all the news stories you can kind of flip through some are, you know, some are fun, some are whatever stories and it's like, you know, how to, how to use bear spray.

01:03:11.73
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:03:19.77
Bill
And I'm like, Ooh, let's, let's take a peek at that. Cause I, you know, I bought it, but I, you know, I really didn't watch on how to use it, right? So i mean i did but i'm like oh let's watch another one so this chick i don't know where the fuck she was and she's like oh explaining and this is what it is and it's like you know um obviously concentrated pepper spray but that's where we're out in the middle of you know wherever to show you how to use it blah bla blah so all these you know tips on how to use it on you know don't use it the wind's blowing at you whatever you know simple things but

01:03:47.50
Mike
Yeah, right. yeah Don't spray it into the wind.

01:03:51.08
Bill
Right. Don't shoot that one into the wind.

01:03:53.46
Mike
Right.

01:03:55.23
Bill
But the funny part is, is she's like, okay, so first of all, she's like, you know, keep it here and keep it there because, you know, if you have to like wrestle around for it and she's like, you know, get that's how, that's how people get eaten. So she did, they didn't say how people get attacked, right?

01:04:05.59
Mike
Right.

01:04:07.64
Bill
How people get eaten. Then she'd say one more thing. And she's like, hold it this way. Cause if you don't, if you do this and don't do that, that's another opportunity how people get eaten.

01:04:14.82
Mike
Eating.

01:04:15.57
Bill
And and then she had one more thing and this and that make sure you do this because remember,

01:04:16.32
Mike
if

01:04:19.97
Bill
You don't wanna get eaten.

01:04:21.54
Mike
Hehehehe.

01:04:24.18
Bill
And I'm just like, it just I don't know why they'd be laughing rather than saying, you know, be attacked. She's just yeah saying, no, you're gonna get eaten. That's what's gonna happen. it's and This bear's gonna have you for fucking dinner is what's gonna happen.

01:04:34.09
Mike
Nice.

01:04:34.45
Bill
so but I don't know. Yeah, she was just like and they had this dude in a **** bear costume run up and then she sprays but he runs he runs away and I'm like, it's **** funny.

01:04:38.92
Mike
Hehehehehe.

01:04:44.36
Bill
It's just funny but okay, so enough about that but yes, I'll be up in Wisconsin.

01:04:45.31
Mike
Mm

01:04:48.45
Bill
I'm hoping it's going to be very beautiful and hoping I don't just have to drive up there and drive back.

01:04:50.75
Mike
-hmm.

01:04:53.32
Bill
So, anyhow,

01:04:54.58
Mike
More than likely you won't. Odds are in your favor this time.

01:04:57.49
Bill
they are they are um okay so this one came from one day at a time or not one day at a time a day at a time may i no longer cast emotional nets over those i love either by dominating them or being as excessively dependent upon them which is just which is just another form of domination okay so let me repeat that again may i no longer cast emotional nets over those i love either by dominating them or being as

01:05:15.44
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

01:05:27.43
Bill
I can't say excessively dependent upon them.

01:05:30.56
Mike
You just said it.

01:05:30.81
Bill
So yeah, I know, excessively. It's hard for me to say, let's put it that way, which is another form of domination.

01:05:34.59
Mike
Okay.

01:05:36.53
Bill
So um what do you think about that? I mean, emotional nets go in both directions. I guess I never thought about it that way. But Mike, your thoughts, over to you.

01:05:43.38
Mike
Oh God. um Right. Yes, it's it all comes down to control again. And and yeah, you know, um it just doesn't work. we We can't control fucking anything. So yes, emotional nets. I don't want to capture anyone. I don't want to control anyone. Hell, I don't want to control myself.

01:06:06.58
Bill
that Right.

01:06:08.42
Mike
It's too much fucking work, man. um Yeah, right. And overly dependent on someone is, yes, it is just as bad. Trust me, I know because I've been there and then you end up resenting them. And, you know, yeah, you're taking care of me. I resent you for that. It's fucked up.

01:06:23.26
Bill
right

01:06:24.03
Mike
um Yeah. Yeah. I like that actually. I don't have a whole lot to add to it. Plus the fact that I'm totally fucking exhausted.

01:06:35.02
Mike
But yes, I can't come up with anything more. It says it quite well.

01:06:39.10
Bill
Yeah, and i the the thing that is, that i just i the same thing as i as I say in a lot of these circumstances, I don't necessarily think about the um the reverse part of it, or the other side of it. you know cause i mean Obviously, you know dominating dominating somebody, you know i mean that's easy, one that wow you don't want to do that.

01:06:50.33
Mike
Right.

01:06:55.21
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:06:56.45
Bill
But then you know being excessively dependent,

01:06:58.45
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:06:59.19
Bill
um I mean literally that's what that's what i did you know i mean that's that's who i was and um i mean kathy was kathy was one that i mean she got the brunt of it.

01:07:02.97
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm. Me too.

01:07:09.25
Mike
Right.

01:07:09.46
Bill
You know i mean um i i i came to her for everything you know and you know is supposed to these days i mean yes i mean i'm what while i'm here i'm i'm living in her house you know.

01:07:12.29
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:07:17.71
Mike
Hmm.

01:07:19.84
Bill
um I mean, I came here for a purpose, um and i and I stay here.

01:07:22.46
Mike
right

01:07:24.72
Bill
And the thing of it is, like when i when I came back here in June, um I sent her a text, because I had planned on you know being out for whatever.

01:07:27.09
Mike
Right.

01:07:31.55
Bill
And i I sent her a text. I'm like, hey, I said, I i literally sat down and figured everything out. I'm like, I need to take a financial break. I said, do you mind if I if i come back for the month of June?

01:07:40.77
Mike
Right.

01:07:41.58
Bill
I asked. you know um I didn't expect her to say no.

01:07:42.71
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:07:46.11
Mike
Right.

01:07:46.28
Bill
um but i mean i it just occurred to me now that like right now that i like i did i asked permission to come back which is just it's just courtesy but the same thing i said the the other day when we were talking about this i said i think i think i'm planning on you know coming back you know after between these two trips you know because i told her i had the one in in august i mean ultimately i would love to be just out doing whatever and then you know take a break for a week in in Cleveland come see you or you know take a break here for a week or wherever you know but um I don't know I don't um I don't look at this and uh the thing that isn't again I I don't feel like well I know that I'm not taking advantage of her you know

01:08:08.99
Mike
Right.

01:08:12.35
Mike
right Right. Mm hmm.

01:08:24.37
Mike
Right.

01:08:24.88
Bill
and i know i'm not it's not the person i that i am today that i used to be in um i mean i i was here obviously came down here for a purpose and yeah i mean now it's the my purpose is to not have to blow a ton of money getting out and kind of taking a break for a minute but um you know i try to pull my weight around here i mean i do i don't just sit around to not do anything but

01:08:28.30
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:08:37.40
Mike
Mm-hmm. No, right, exactly. he

01:08:45.80
Bill
Although although she's got it yet we but by the time i got back obviously saturday was late sunday at rain so i mean i i cut the grass i mean she's cut it up. A couple of different times you know when i've got back like late on the sunday but that's one of the things to do what is simple things take the garbage i am to the dishwasher every day it's nothing that i really think about but you know what's i don't know she needs help with anything i would help her with it you know that sort of thing but.

01:09:01.34
Mike
Yeah. Right. Right. Of course. Right.

01:09:10.17
Bill
But yeah i just i really i never thought about that other thing is that is that i mean that's that's another form of domination which i really never i just never thought about that before.

01:09:17.27
Mike
Absolutely. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Just excessively taking from people. That's not a good thing.

01:09:24.82
Bill
rights is in the funny part of is the fact that we actually have to have to explain that to ourselves yeah taking shit from people it's bad just think about that that's something that we literally had to voice you know yeah by the way oh what do you know about that

01:09:36.58
Mike
ahha

01:09:40.67
Mike
Uh-huh Right yes because for a very long time that was just a way of life get get some fucking world Otis Mm

01:09:50.16
Bill
yeah Right, right. I don't know where this came from, but this was from a, I know this was from a reading just cause it starts off with today I will list, but um so today I will list three things that I did this week to keep someone at a distance from me.

01:10:01.55
Mike
-hmm

01:10:07.28
Mike
Mmm.

01:10:07.95
Bill
Did I, do I ignore people?

01:10:09.45
Mike
sort

01:10:11.89
Bill
Am I rude? Do I say mean things? Do I make jokes at other people's expense? Let's take these one at a time. Okay.

01:10:18.34
Mike
Alright.

01:10:18.78
Bill
um Do I ignore people? Number one,

01:10:22.14
Mike
um I mean, not really, not, you know, ah unless they need to be ignored. ah Again, it goes back to the bullshit thing.

01:10:31.00
Bill
right

01:10:31.21
Mike
oh But yeah, no, I, you know, I mean, my phone rings, I answer it for, you know, unless I'm driving um and I'll get back to them.

01:10:38.87
Bill
right

01:10:39.41
Mike
You know, no, I certainly don't avoid people and ignore them um like I used to. um Yeah, no, I'm fairly engaged as much as I can be.

01:10:51.14
Bill
yeah And I agree, and like like you said, and I'm glad you've talked about the bullshit, because the only time that I have, I think in my in my sober years, that that I have ignored people or kept to myself, let's say around people, is that um if there if there's some sort of issue I have with somebody that I that i know I can't correct, um so i just it's sometimes it's you know you can't it's the whole, if you can't say something nice, don't say so don't say nothing at all type of thing,

01:10:59.70
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:11:10.58
Mike
Right.

01:11:16.06
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:11:18.02
Bill
um I've done that before but I try not to be this next thing because it says, am I rude? So that's number two.

01:11:22.92
Mike
Mm hmm. No, absolutely no, I am not. That's, that's the one thing and and it's, it's fucked man. But like what I'm, you know, I'm out, well, whatever. um Yeah. You know, when I'm out, you know, about my day and whatever, and I, you know, um my job, I do have to interact with people occasionally.

01:11:34.53
Bill
yeah

01:11:43.20
Mike
um through the day and um that's one of the reasons I have this job is because I don't have to a lot but but when I do I like you know and sometimes sometimes very much so faking it but I mean I you know I smile and hey how you doing blah blah blah I don't give a fuck how they're doing but ah but I do it you know no I am I'm kind of the opposite of rude these days I used to be very fucking rude um but no I I make a conscious effort to

01:12:01.01
Bill
hey

01:12:12.20
Mike
you know, hey, you know, this, this, uh, you know, three minute interaction I'm going to have with this person that I'm probably not going to see, you know, for a week or a month or, you know, maybe I'll see him in a couple of days or whatever. It doesn't matter. You know, Hey, I'm here. You know, this little interaction we're going to have is going to be pleasant and it's going to, you know, just three minutes is going to be good for both of us. Yeah. I try to do that. This is trying to, I, I live my life that way today.

01:12:39.33
Bill
Right and I remember we were talking about that in this probably been a handful of months ago with ah you had mentioned going into a gas station or a truck stop and it was while it was while I was doing some of this traveling and I said yeah you know I do the same thing you walk into some of these truck stops and um whatever the deal is you know that the bathrooms being cleaned or whatever the whatever the problem is or

01:12:46.56
Mike
Right.

01:12:57.70
Mike
um

01:12:58.22
Bill
not about people at the register or whatever the case is you know when these people come in and you know there there are the fucking rude on this this one that i think about the guy that walked into a loves in the bathroom was being cleaned and he just like loudly okay so whatever the time of night it was i don't know if it was later i don't fucking remember but

01:13:00.14
Mike
Right. Uh huh. Uh huh.

01:13:16.77
Bill
Usually by the time I stop, um I do, I have to go to the bathroom. yeah you know and that That's part of my part of the purpose.

01:13:20.49
Mike
Right. Yeah, right.

01:13:23.38
Bill
So I went in there, and as i there's this guy walking in front of me, and as we round the the aisle going to the restroom, there's this guy waiting outside standing

01:13:29.79
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:13:33.32
Bill
you know, kind of by where the door would be.

01:13:35.44
Mike
Right.

01:13:35.52
Bill
And the guy's like, he's like, yeah, as the guy in front of me is walking and I'm behind him, he's like, yeah, he goes, they're cleaning the bathroom, and the guy throws his arms up and he's like, are you fucking kidding me? He's like, Jesus Christ, this fucking place. And I mean, this at that level, you know, in arms in the air being all you know, kind of

01:13:49.57
Mike
for Uh-huh.

01:13:53.09
Bill
and I'm just like i'm like and he's like these mother fuck i can't believe these fucking people is that grumble grumble grumble grumble still goes and buy something is grumble and all the way up to the register says something i can hear him. Other side of the store saying shit to there and i'm sitting there kind of at this point going fuck man i'm gonna piss myself here in a minute.

01:14:10.54
Mike
Right.

01:14:11.31
Bill
It's just waiting and I had to wait like it was like three minutes, you know And the person comes walking out and I see the guy walking out the door and in my head I'm like, that's what you get you motherfucker I went in and I took a leak got coffee and I went you know, but um it did him no good It didn't accomplish anything, you know

01:14:14.71
Mike
Right, yeah.

01:14:20.74
Mike
Yep.

01:14:23.97
Mike
Mm hmm. No, of course not.

01:14:28.62
Bill
And same thing i walked into a it was a um ah quick trip you know up in wisconsin on my on my way back i think from you know this this last time same deal i walked in and um there was a cart in front of the door.

01:14:36.63
Mike
h

01:14:40.79
Mike
Uh huh.

01:14:41.10
Bill
And i guys walking in front of me so i got jesus christ the fucking bathrooms being cleaned again again loud. and i this guy's walking out of this young kids walking out of the store room as this guy's saying that so this guy walks away and i said to the kid i'm like are you did you start cleaning yet and there he's like no he goes you could because you can use it and i'm like i'm like thank you very much so i i walked in there went to the bathroom walked out the kid went in there and then did the cleaning

01:14:57.14
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yep. Yeah. Right.

01:15:09.05
Bill
It's just like I'm like same thing. I'm looking at the you know, the guy that walked out like you dumb fuck, you know Shut your mouth for a minute and ask a question.

01:15:13.56
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah.

01:15:15.98
Bill
So Right,

01:15:16.15
Mike
Exactly. And stand there and be fucking grateful you're not the one that's got to go in there and clean the shit out of the toilets. Moron.

01:15:23.35
Bill
right have you ever speak of that have you ever had to clean bathrooms before

01:15:26.40
Mike
No.

01:15:27.47
Bill
Oh, it's fucking terrible. And I worked for a gas station years ago, just a small gas station.

01:15:28.73
Mike
yeah

01:15:32.33
Mike
Yeah.

01:15:32.71
Bill
um And it was just ah you know this outside bathroom that you know we have a key and people go in every once in a while. But um yeah, every once in a while, you go in there cleaning like, oh my God, what the fuck, man?

01:15:40.29
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:15:41.93
Bill
you know It's terrible, just fucking terrible.

01:15:43.05
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Nope.

01:15:44.97
Bill
So the the other one goes along next one goes along do I say mean things? I think that goes along with the am I rude type of thing and then the last one though It says do I make jokes at other people's expense?

01:15:50.25
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:15:55.36
Bill
um I was gonna say yeah, I I don't think that Right, but we we do it on a podcast so I don't know at least we do it openly We're not we're not like is that still considered gossiping?

01:15:55.55
Mike
room Yes, but not to their face but Yeah,

01:16:11.68
Bill
the

01:16:15.02
Mike
all right, yes Yes, both

01:16:23.85
Bill
Yeah, I know i've I've read that stuff before and there's I don't know if it's been recent I can't remember but I think it has been and might be a God grant me has been talking about, you know, gossiping and things like that and I don't consider myself to be a gossip her but um I'm not above it.

01:16:33.49
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:16:38.98
Bill
You know, I'm not one that I can never say that I cannot say that I'd never gossip or never talk about people.

01:16:39.29
Mike
Mm.

01:16:45.34
Mike
Sure.

01:16:45.46
Bill
um it's It's not healthy and I realize this it's not somebody, it's not the person I want to be and it's not how I want to act, but um sometimes just can't fucking help myself.

01:16:49.01
Mike
Mm. Right.

01:16:55.57
Bill
yeah

01:16:55.93
Mike
You know, and I mean, i you know, I mean, no, I don't, I don't do it maliciously and I don't do it to try to, you know, tear other people down or try to build myself up or anything like that. I mean, but, you know, sure. You talk about other people. Yeah. Yeah. This guy fucked up. but It's a drag. Yeah. You know, I hope he fucking makes it back. Whatever. I mean, technically it's gossiping, but, you know, it's also just talking about what the hell's going on.

01:17:15.89
Bill
Right.

01:17:22.64
Bill
Right. Current events.

01:17:24.60
Mike
Exactly.

01:17:27.68
Bill
We're going to put it in the current events bucket. that we're with We're fine.

01:17:30.46
Mike
yes

01:17:31.71
Bill
But OK, so I have one more just looking at at the time, and I know you're tired. But um so just one more. This was kind of i I've been trying to stick away, but i'm I'm getting pretty good on some of these old ones here. So this is one of the newer ones from the last couple of the weeks that I wrote down. I can't remember the podcast, but I was listening to a podcast and the person says, we give ourselves too much value in other people's minds.

01:17:53.13
Mike
Yes. All right.

01:17:55.00
Bill
So let me repeat that. We give ourselves too much value in other people's minds. So what do you think about that?

01:18:01.19
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:18:03.77
Mike
Um, I think it's fucking ego and I think it's absolutely wrong. Cause some 99% of the time they're not fucking thinking about us. We just think they're thinking about us. Nobody cares, man. I mean, how often do you really sit there and think about other people?

01:18:20.35
Bill
Right.

01:18:20.98
Mike
Right. You know, not much, man. I mean, you know, um, I think about other people, like, you know, I'm glad these people are in my life and whatever. And, You know, um, you know, and and certainly, you know, like Chris and relationship and whatever I think about her quite a lot, but you know ah how it relates and how I can be better for her and whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, no, people are not fucking thinking about me. I know that because I'm not, cause I'm not thinking about them. Why the hell would they be thinking about me?

01:18:52.39
Bill
Right. Yeah, and you know, the the thing that is, and now that I'm, I can't remember, first of all, I can't remember the podcast, I can't remember who said it, and I can't remember what the context was. But now, I can look at this in two different ways. So you're right, you can look at it from an ego standpoint that, um you know, other people are thinking about us, or we, our value comes from that, or

01:19:05.78
Mike
Hmm. Hmm.

01:19:11.58
Bill
the other thing i thought about is you know maybe that um but the i guess this this could be even the same way if we give ourselves too much value in other people's minds of basically being worried about what other people think of us you know and either either right yeah either one is no good either one is no good so

01:19:22.45
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. But I definitely don't do that.

01:19:27.78
Mike
Yeah, man.

01:19:29.10
Bill
but um yeah i don't know it's just it was an interesting way the reason i wrote it down is just because i when when it was said i had to think about it i paused it it's like i you know i one of those i immediately made sure i put on a list i'm like i gotta i i can't i can't think about this right now but i said i think that's something i want to talk about because i it didn't it didn't really click in my head right away and even what the fuck it meant so

01:19:42.96
Mike
Mhm. Right.

01:19:52.90
Bill
it still really doesn't sell but yeah but so that the point to yeah i and that's the thing i mean i i don't know there's there's a point we if we go back to like we were talking about people pleasing and all those sort of things and i mean i can still be a people pleaser and all that i try not to be um you know and i try not to uh for the most part you know try not to care what other people think unless it's people that you know um that i care about you know

01:20:00.96
Mike
Mhm. Hm.

01:20:15.20
Mike
Sure.

01:20:15.72
Bill
You know, then of course I care about what would you think about me and ah what how I'm, you know, as ah as a person, if, you know, if Kathy thought I was a piece of shit or if my kids did or whatever the case is, that means, I mean, clearly, I think I would be the one that caused that, you know, for them to think that.

01:20:25.40
Mike
Right. Right. Mm hmm. Well, that's just it.

01:20:33.95
Bill
And then, right.

01:20:34.55
Mike
Yeah, that's just it, man. If you're, you know, I personally, I don't think I'm doing anything today that would cause anyone to think I'm a piece of shit.

01:20:40.00
Bill
Right.

01:20:43.27
Mike
Cause I'm not, I'm not acting like a piece of shit.

01:20:44.39
Bill
right

01:20:46.12
Mike
And if somebody thinks I'm a piece of shit, we'll fuck them. Cause I know I'm not.

01:20:50.49
Bill
Right? Yeah. I mean, if, if somebody came up to me today and said, Hey, this person thinks you're a complete fucking asshole. First of all, I i would, I would do that.

01:20:57.38
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:59.06
Bill
Thank you. That would be my reaction, my literal pet type of thing.

01:21:03.53
Mike
Yep.

01:21:03.72
Bill
And then I'd be like, okay, so just for, just for shits and giggles, I need to know why, because this is, I, this is going to make me laugh because just, just whatever, whatever this person, whatever this perception is, i'm i I need to hear this delusion, you know?

01:21:07.75
Mike
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

01:21:17.46
Mike
Right, right.

01:21:18.27
Bill
And, uh, and, and that's the thing, you know, usually if somebody's got a problem with, I mean, what the fuck? I mean, I'm not saying that everyone has to like me, but if somebody, if somebody hated me, I would be really curious or had a problem with me.

01:21:25.89
Mike
Now.

01:21:29.79
Bill
I'd be really curious as to why, you know, but only because I think it'd be humorous.

01:21:32.05
Mike
Right, yeah. Exactly, you know and and there is an off chance that they actually might be right and I'd have to look at something but Probably not Hmm

01:21:43.78
Bill
Right, you know, well here's here's the thing too and that well you and I for instance and in again we obviously we don't see each other every day or that sort of thing but um You know, I think that whether it's through this or other things or blah blah blah I mean we we talk enough and we're close enough where I think that you and I could catch behavior like that or Somebody else close to us because I know I know for a fucking fact if you started acting a fool if you started getting off whatever your your plane is and I get i get a phone call or a text from chris i know i would.

01:22:00.69
Mike
Right Sure

01:22:06.82
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right?

01:22:13.07
Mike
Oh, yeah, right.

01:22:13.95
Bill
You know or if i started you know you get a photo attack or phone call or text from kathy or one of my kids or something like that.

01:22:14.21
Mike
Yeah.

01:22:19.70
Mike
Right. Right. Right.

01:22:21.58
Bill
they They know who to call i mean i told my kids eight years ago i'm like if you ever think i'm fucking up i said.

01:22:23.84
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:27.45
Bill
Don't call and kathy don't call grandma don't call anyone call fucking mike.

01:22:28.16
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. a Yeah.

01:22:33.63
Bill
You're like, really? I said, yeah, you need to, you need to call him.

01:22:35.10
Mike
Yeah.

01:22:36.51
Bill
Cause I'm like, he understands this shit.

01:22:36.55
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:22:38.67
Bill
If I'm fucking up, he's going to understand what to say and how to deal with it. You know?

01:22:41.79
Mike
Right, right.

01:22:42.62
Bill
But, um, but yeah, so that's, I mean, beyond that, you know, it just, I, I think that by point is if we were acting up really, I think that somebody close with us would call us out on it before some random fucking stranger would.

01:22:48.33
Mike
Uh-huh, right. Absolutely, oh yeah, absolutely. Again, that's why, you know, right? So random fucking stranger, and or you know, someone that barely knows me or whatever. and Yeah. Thinks I've got some sort of problem. Okay, fine. I want to hear this because it's going to be goddamn funny.

01:23:10.45
Bill
Right.

01:23:10.58
Mike
Cause right. Cause the people that actually know me, you know, right? Yeah. You know, there's little stopping chick, you know, crystal call me out on something once in a while. Cause once in a while I need to be called out on some shit, but yeah. Yeah. But for the most part, I think I'm doing all right.

01:23:26.07
Bill
the

01:23:29.11
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:23:34.05
Mike
Hmm. Yeah. All right, well, I'm gonna do this as quickly as possible, because it's almost 10 o'clock at fucking night, man, and I'm burnt. All right, well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of Sober Not Mature. So always be kind to each other, be good to each other, go out and do something nice for somebody else this week, and don't fucking tell anybody that you did it. Now it's time, oh boy is it time. It's time for you to fuck off.

01:24:06.38
Mike
then Keep fucking off keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here Climb over that gate dream the impossible dream and keep fucking off forever.

01:24:18.15
Bill
And you know what that, I'm not even gonna have any chitchat. I'm gonna say, I love you brother.

01:24:21.64
Mike
I Love you, too Yes, you will bye

01:24:23.32
Bill
I'll talk to you soon. Bye.