SoberNotMature - Episode 131 (Not Real Doctors)

00:00:01.56
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of Sober, not mature. and um

00:00:08.09
Mike
false advertising alert, false advertising alert.

00:00:13.20
Bill
you know This is probably the week because it was Dr. Sarah that everyone was actually looking at our Instagram and our Facebook page.

00:00:18.18
Mike
Right. Sure.

00:00:19.52
Bill
um So here's the deal. She she did not cancel on us. We had a technology issue.

00:00:24.56
Mike
Right.

00:00:25.46
Bill
um We've just been on kind of on a phone and stuff with her for the last like half hour. First of all, she was apologizing where there's no need to. um There's a piece of equipment that wasn't working on her end, so we're we're trying to get it all squared away.

00:00:33.11
Mike
right

00:00:37.39
Bill
So this is not Dr. Sarah. yeah

00:00:42.08
Mike
I certainly am not Dr. Sarah.

00:00:44.43
Bill
but you know what here's the cool part out of out of anyone that we could have had an issue it I don't even want to say an issue that we could have had a stumbling block like this with um she's the best person in the world for it first of all because she's overly apologetic which she didn't need to be

00:00:50.85
Mike
o

00:00:53.45
Mike
Right.

00:00:59.03
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:00:59.91
Bill
um She felt bad what she didn't need to be um Her and I misunderstood what what Pete microphone it doesn't even matter. It was funny and I said don't worry about it She's like, let me know she's like I'll order a new headset tonight.

00:01:11.72
Mike
he

00:01:12.19
Bill
She goes you let me know on your schedule I will come back on she's a given I guess is my point so But yeah, so it's ah it's it's the not Dr.

00:01:14.55
Mike
her

00:01:17.05
Mike
Right.

00:01:22.48
Bill
Sarah um Episode, but yeah, she's coming up. It might be a couple of weeks I think we get some shit going on in the next couple of weeks. Don't we so it might be

00:01:29.57
Mike
We do.

00:01:30.66
Bill
um I don't know, like third week is September, second week.

00:01:31.29
Mike
I don't know. Right.

00:01:33.70
Bill
I don't know, we'll figure it out. She'll she'll be on though, but yeah.

00:01:35.52
Mike
Yep.

00:01:36.84
Bill
But um yeah, so anyhow, did I just say Dr. Sarah's not coming on tonight?

00:01:42.79
Bill
Oh, hey, guess what? This is so fucking perfect, too.

00:01:45.97
Mike
Yeah.

00:01:46.05
Bill
This is a start of a brand new season.

00:01:47.99
Mike
Ah, that's right.

00:01:50.16
Bill
yeah Wait, what is it? The Brady Bunch where they had. Are you wearing one of those fucking Tiki things around your neck or something like that? Is that.

00:01:55.62
Mike
i They're down in my bathroom actually.

00:01:56.70
Bill
yeah hey You motherfucker, you jinxed us.

00:02:02.13
Mike
Right.

00:02:03.39
Bill
Yeah, no, it's it's all good.

00:02:04.60
Mike
Vincent Price is hiding in a cave somewhere.

00:02:06.93
Bill
right But um yeah, I mean, it's ah whatever, man. The funny part is is that Mike and I, and I know I think, I'm gonna speak for you right now if you don't mind, my friend.

00:02:16.10
Mike
Ah, right.

00:02:17.09
Bill
um we We never have a problem filling time. you know I mean, we're gonna gonna fill time.

00:02:20.24
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:02:21.69
Bill
We got plenty of shit to talk about. you know i'm I'm traveling, you're working. I got a sheet full of sheet and um fuck it, we'll get Dr. Sarah on in ah in a couple of weeks. And yeah, Mike said right off the bat, false advertising, false advertising.

00:02:30.68
Mike
Right.

00:02:36.54
Mike
Uh huh.

00:02:38.05
Bill
ah You know what? I'm just going to put it this way. She is worth the fucking weight.

00:02:42.02
Mike
Right.

00:02:42.69
Bill
That's all I'm going to say. so but um So just by chance, was that you reaching for your book?

00:02:43.79
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know what? It's, it's sitting next to me on my desk.

00:02:53.80
Mike
Um, for some, for some reason I went, eh, you know, I'm going to grab it and throw it over here just in case. Cause who fucking knows?

00:03:01.63
Bill
Exactly.

00:03:01.70
Mike
Anyway.

00:03:02.31
Bill
The same thing I said when right before we came on, I mean, I, I print out usually a couple of sheets because I have my notes and shit on here and I wasn't going to do it tonight because I'm like, I don't need it. I got, I got scratch paper. I'm like, ah, fuck it.

00:03:11.62
Mike
Right.

00:03:12.73
Bill
I'll print it off. I had like three things that I just notes for, you know, for Dr. Sarah. And, uh, I'm like, ah, fuck it. I'll print it off. I could use the, I use the scratch paper for work anyhow. So, um, but yeah, I'm, I'm all good to go.

00:03:23.92
Bill
And your, your book is within reach. So, um, okay.

00:03:26.05
Mike
It is, I don't know what the hell I'm going to read out of it, but it's here.

00:03:29.81
Bill
do the fucking random thing because that's a perfect way to start. I mean, the you know our our great guests got derailed.

00:03:32.71
Mike
All right.

00:03:35.66
Bill
um It's the start of a season. That's all fucked up. um We have no idea what we're doing, which we'd never do anyhow, but um random. Just flip it all open and let's, you know that's the more fun one anyhow.

00:03:46.54
Mike
All right. Let's see now that won't work. ah

00:03:54.62
Mike
Uh, shit, I think I've done that one. Let's see. Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip.

00:03:57.98
Bill
yeah

00:04:00.12
Mike
Uh,

00:04:03.36
Mike
uh, yeah.

00:04:05.23
Bill
What's a good day in the calendar? Ooh, March. How about my grandson's birthday? March 15th or your granddaughter is May 15th. Pick a birthday.

00:04:14.05
Mike
All right, let's see here. You say March 15th, March, March, March, March.

00:04:19.45
Bill
Or pick lides Lids' birthday.

00:04:22.17
Mike
Yeah, let's see what we got here. ah All right, let's see what the hell we got here, March 15th.

00:04:28.56
Bill
Cool.

00:04:30.02
Mike
The body is like a piano. It is needful to have the instrument in good order. Henry Ward Beecher. um Alright Why does our body matter because it's where our thoughts feelings and spirit all reside We need a healthy brain in order to think well, we need balanced hormones in order to have balanced emotions We need strong and limber arms and legs and a strong back if we want to play well with others Now that we are sober we can take good care of our body. We can eat healthy food get enough sleep and exercise

00:05:09.09
Mike
We can deal with an addiction to tobacco or sugar that can lead to lung disease or diabetes. We have been given our life back. Let's keep our body in tune so that we can make pretty music with our lives. Prayer for the day. Higher power. Thank you for saving me from my addiction to alcohol and drugs. Help me keep my body in tune so I can live well and love well and with this life you have given me.

00:05:38.32
Mike
Today's action, I will take a look at how I care for my body. i to Do I neglect it? Do I abuse it? How can I take good care of my body so that my mind, feelings, and movements stay healthy and strong? I will do one good thing for my body today.

00:05:57.53
Bill
Okay, so let's start with that. What one good thing would...

00:05:59.60
Mike
Ha ha ha ha.

00:06:03.55
Bill
ah ah

00:06:04.46
Mike
Um, yeah, talking to the wrong deep. No. Um, I don't know. What, what good thing did I do for my body today? Um, shit. I don't think I did.

00:06:21.85
Mike
I really don't. Um, I don't know. Uh, I, I don't know. I smoked too much. Um, I like sugar. Uh,

00:06:32.94
Mike
Let's see, all my shoulder's been bugging the shit out of me so I've been sleeping very well for a while. um Yeah, the other one, ah the other one this time.

00:06:39.68
Bill
Oh, your shoulders going again? God damn.

00:06:44.88
Mike
My driving shoulder, yay, that's fun.

00:06:45.34
Bill
Oh, lovely.

00:06:47.00
Mike
and Yeah, um let's see. ah I don't know, I took a nice shit this morning, I suppose that helped.

00:06:53.62
Bill
There you go.

00:06:55.07
Mike
ah

00:06:57.95
Bill
you drink You drink a lot of water.

00:06:59.41
Mike
I do drink a lot of water, right.

00:06:59.71
Bill
That's one thing. There you go. See, look, at I helped you out. Co-signs your bullshit.

00:07:02.96
Mike
I appreciate that. All right.

00:07:04.40
Bill
okay

00:07:04.48
Mike
What the fuck do you do today?

00:07:06.32
Bill
um Well, let's see. um i i did Well, see, Friday's a bad day to do it because I i buy pizza.

00:07:13.03
Mike
Uh-huh. Yes, I already ate my pizza.

00:07:13.70
Bill
um Yeah, and it was a couple nights ago I went up and I took a nice little walk through the downtown area up here. I didn't do that tonight. Although I walked down the fucking steep ass driveway to throw up my the garbage cans down at the end of the driveway.

00:07:28.46
Bill
um And it is, I mean, it's fucking steep. So I walked down there to put the put that in the garbage. So I took a ah short walk, nothing great.

00:07:35.72
Mike
All right.

00:07:36.75
Bill
um Drank a lot of fucking coffee. I hit my vape all day.

00:07:40.24
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:07:42.06
Bill
Let's see, I haven't had any sugar yet. I will though.

00:07:45.38
Mike
Tell us wrong with you.

00:07:46.40
Bill
I will.

00:07:46.36
Mike
That guy. No, I know. i know okay

00:07:49.12
Bill
but in The only reason I haven't had it yet, I usually have cookies for lunch, but um my the whole swollen thing going on in my mouth, that's all gone. The antibiotics took care of that.

00:07:57.49
Mike
Ah. Mm hmm.

00:07:59.19
Bill
But um by my jaw is still, I can't fully open my mouth completely yet. It's, it's better. Um, I could actually eat my pizza tonight without cutting it up.

00:08:07.90
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:08:09.91
Bill
Um, cause of the last two weeks, I literally had to cut it up and cause I couldn't, I couldn't open, open my mouth to fit a piece of pizza in my mouth.

00:08:11.96
Mike
Mmm.

00:08:16.57
Bill
You know, yeah, it was fucking weird.

00:08:16.65
Mike
Wow.

00:08:18.58
Bill
And, um, I think two things, whatever was going on with that infection, I think affected my job. But honestly, cause it hurt when I went in there to the dentist that day, but. um The way she was taking the x-ray, she shoved this motherfucking thing back into the back of my mouth and I really, I think she jabbed the muscles in my jaw back there.

00:08:31.66
Mike
Mmm.

00:08:37.37
Bill
um I don't know because it it fucking hurts so bad going in that there's just no way for me to tell. so Today is probably not the best day to, ah I guess, to to really go into you know what I did good.

00:08:46.45
Mike
Right.

00:08:51.57
Bill
But you know what? I mean, for the most part, I get i do get more so i get better sleep than I used to.

00:08:55.63
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:08:57.96
Bill
um I watch what I do with that. I don't drink as much water as I should. um you know But, hang on one second, Dr. Sarah, she's texting me. I'll get to it in a minute. She just ordered a headset.

00:09:10.27
Mike
she

00:09:10.50
Bill
um I'm just going to do no worries because she said sorry again.

00:09:16.20
Mike
We're doing a fucking podcast here, lady!

00:09:18.82
Bill
I know. she She's supposed to be our guest. She probably thought we weren't recording there. I put my phone away.

00:09:23.53
Mike
ah

00:09:24.46
Bill
But um you know so i get I get better sleep. I do. I walk in with you know what's the, again, I know I joke about the hiking and shit like that.

00:09:28.20
Mike
Right? Do you hike?

00:09:30.97
Bill
Yeah, but you know the the thing with it is I do get that sort of exercise. But the thing of it is it's it's funny because I just saw a meme the other day.

00:09:34.22
Mike
Yeah?

00:09:38.56
Bill
It was like a video meme. I showed this guy standing on the top of like, like one of these overlooks that I go to in the that words come up.

00:09:44.75
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:09:46.61
Bill
They're like, Oh, you hike every, every weekend. You must be in the best shape ever type of thing. They show this guy's silhouette kind of arms on his, you know, on his hips type of thing, like a Superman pose.

00:09:55.46
Mike
Right.

00:09:55.79
Bill
But then, then he's like, he's like, no, but every time I walk in the show and walk it up at incline kind of leaned over hunched over, stop and go,

00:10:02.53
Mike
Right.

00:10:04.41
Bill
And you know what the thing of it is, I still have a fucking 55 year old body.

00:10:07.45
Mike
Uh huh.

00:10:08.40
Bill
I'm not in the best shape. I smoked for fucking 30 plus years.

00:10:11.73
Mike
Uh huh.

00:10:12.27
Bill
You know, um, I don't think I'm in the, you know, the best physical shape. Who knows what the fuck's going on, but, um, it's, I'm like, I'm like an old fucking Buick is the only way that I could put this is that, I mean, when, when I get up in the morning, it takes a little bit to get working.

00:10:16.87
Mike
Mm.

00:10:23.75
Bill
You know, I get the D-cert, the back hurts. It's like, and I'm fine.

00:10:26.57
Mike
Right?

00:10:27.52
Bill
You know, once I get all my readings done, but it's a good half hour until I'm like, good to go.

00:10:27.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:10:30.31
Mike
Mm.

00:10:30.72
Bill
And it's not even the coffee thing, you know? But then same thing when I get out hiking like that, the first probably 20, 30 minutes, I'm like, Jesus Christ. It's like um um'm I'm sore. I'm like, I don't feel like I'm feeling a little out of breath.

00:10:43.00
Bill
But it's like, once I get going, it's like everything just, it's like blowing out the carburetor, you know?

00:10:46.83
Mike
Yup.

00:10:48.09
Bill
At an old Buick, it's just got, you know, a little bit of buildup in there. Just had to get her out of the highway and fucking open that sucker up.

00:10:54.11
Mike
All right.

00:10:54.28
Bill
And I'm like, I'm good to go, you know? Um, but, uh, I don't know, in general, I, the the thing of it is, okay. So yeah, you you smoke a lot. Okay. but But, um, you, I think you eat better than you used to, even from when you first got sober, I'm giving you a little bit of credit here.

00:11:01.59
Mike
yeah

00:11:06.76
Mike
Right.

00:11:08.10
Bill
Um, the water thing, you drink more fucking water than almost anyone that I know. I mean, so that's good for you.

00:11:13.67
Mike
Yeah, absolutely.

00:11:13.92
Bill
You know, probably, you, you know, you may not get it as much, let's say walking around type of exercise, but based on the type of job you do me too.

00:11:18.04
Mike
Hmm. Right. Right.

00:11:20.55
Bill
You know, but I don't know. I mean, we treat our bodies better than we ever used to, you know?

00:11:23.75
Mike
Yeah. Oh yeah. You know, definitely. You know, i I took my vitamins this morning and do that every morning. So right. You know, I'm hell, you know, I'm okay. I mean, I got aches and pains, but I mean, I don't wake up hacking and I, you know, yeah, um I'm all right.

00:11:39.84
Mike
I'm reasonably healthy. I get to go take a physical next month for my fucking medical card.

00:11:43.28
Bill
Right.

00:11:45.24
Mike
Uh, yeah, you know, I, I'm pretty sure I'll pass it. My, you know, my blood pressure is a little regular and, uh, you know, I don't have the beat ease and yeah, I mean, I don't eat as much sugar as I used to.

00:11:56.91
Mike
Um, yeah, so yeah, I'm all right.

00:11:56.98
Bill
Right.

00:12:00.41
Mike
I'll probably make it through another day or so.

00:12:00.71
Bill
Right.

00:12:03.85
Bill
But the other thing too, you know, that the reading started off with, you know, obviously keep the instrument and go to court order. Again, I thought about something filthy there, so I'll leave that alone.

00:12:09.22
Mike
Mm-hmm. Sure.

00:12:12.12
Bill
um But it said, you know, I wrote down like healthy brain.

00:12:13.71
Mike
That said piano, not Oregon. you see he It does.

00:12:17.33
Bill
But instrument, it does say instrument. I talked about it, you know, healthy brain dealing with other addictions, which obviously we just talked about, you know, keeping everything in tune, um you know, in abuse or neglect your body, you know, so

00:12:29.74
Mike
Right.

00:12:30.77
Bill
You know, I mean, the main thing is, is that, I mean, all of these things we're doing, our brains and our bodies are far healthier. Even if we did nothing but sit on the fucking couch, eat bonbons and watch, you know, reruns of Love Boat all day.

00:12:44.67
Bill
We're in better shape than we were 15 years ago, you know?

00:12:44.92
Mike
Hmm that sounds that sounds like a wonderful day anyway right

00:12:49.65
Bill
Doesn't it?

00:12:52.89
Bill
But to I mean, ah again, We got to give ourselves a little bit of credit, a little bit of grace, as they say. But um I mean, yeah, i mean i I need to go in. i've got I've got medical insurance now. I've got dental insurance. I mean, I could use some i could use some dental work. I could use a physical, because you know what?

00:13:10.45
Bill
the ah the The thing of it is, and I know I've told you this before, but the the men on on the paternal side of my family don't fucking live long.

00:13:17.46
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:13:19.59
Bill
They just don't.

00:13:20.28
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:13:20.59
Bill
you know And it's been you I'm talking about great grandpa, grandpa to dad. you know They don't live long.

00:13:24.74
Mike
Right.

00:13:25.83
Bill
And I'm not that far away from when all those fuckers died.

00:13:25.88
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:13:28.49
Mike
Right.

00:13:29.51
Bill
And I don't want to die within that timeframe.

00:13:31.54
Mike
Uh huh.

00:13:32.35
Bill
You know, but, um, you know, so I do, I need to get into the doctor and it's more of a thing where, like I was talking about, was that a week or so ago, maybe three, four episodes ago, you know, the, yes, I'm enjoying my life.

00:13:43.85
Bill
I'm enjoying what I'm doing, all these different things, blah, blah, blah.

00:13:44.32
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:13:47.23
Bill
I am gaining my own happiness again, as a byproduct of all this stuff. But the thing of it is, um, truly, I, I'm not living for other people, but other people are, um, a big focus of why I want to stick around.

00:13:51.06
Mike
Right.

00:14:01.49
Mike
Yep.

00:14:01.58
Bill
does that make sense okay you know right yeah

00:14:02.56
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Right. Definitely. You know, yeah, same thing. Right. You know, and I'm shit, man. You know, I've i've lost a little weight and yeah, it's, you know, I'd like to lose a little more, but I'm not stressing it.

00:14:16.75
Mike
Yeah. Yeah, I'm shit. We're doing okay. Fuck for a drunks. We're doing all right.

00:14:22.50
Bill
Right. Right. Yeah. And it's it is funny. And I and i've said it before, and I noticed it over the last. It's been in the last. um I know what it started is when when I moved down to Indiana.

00:14:34.62
Bill
you know, when I wasn't walking around as much, you know, for, for work and stuff like that, because when I was working in an office, again, just being at the desk, walk into, you know, somebody I'm helping walk into the bathroom, walk to the break room to grab coffee, walk outside to hit a cigarette, what whatever the case is, I'm walking all over the damn place for years, you know, so I could eat and basically, you know, maintain the weight that I had, including, you know, the stomach type of thing, but where I've actually gained weight in the last couple of years,

00:14:38.24
Mike
Right.

00:14:52.12
Mike
Mm hmm. All right.

00:15:02.39
Bill
I don't know that overall I've gained weight. you know I'm sure probably three, four pounds maybe. I don't know if I haven't been on scale in bucket years.

00:15:07.22
Mike
ah

00:15:09.93
Bill
Um, but it is, it's around the middle, but that's what happens to us old fucks because the testosterone slows down and you know, the thing of it is, and it doesn't matter what you do.

00:15:13.36
Mike
That's it. Mm hmm.

00:15:17.52
Bill
I've tried different diets. I eat fairly well. You know, I cut out like, you know, potatoes and carbohydrates for a couple of weeks. Didn't make a fucking bit of difference.

00:15:23.39
Mike
Right.

00:15:26.17
Bill
Not a God, no, not a goddamn bit of difference.

00:15:26.40
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:15:28.58
Bill
None. And I'm like, ah, fuck it.

00:15:29.32
Mike
Yeah.

00:15:30.56
Bill
I could do sit ups. Nope. yeah

00:15:32.25
Mike
Yeah.

00:15:34.60
Bill
There was, uh, I was just watching, uh, I can't remember what, um, Maybe it was Bill Burr. I flipped on, I don't know, I said Netflix the other night, I flipped it on. It's one I'd seen before, one of his stand-up specials, which by the way, I fucking love Bill Burr.

00:15:44.46
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:15:47.25
Bill
But he was talking about that. you know he goes He goes, if you ever tried to talk about people getting getting fat, eat McDonald's, this and that, you know it's their ah their fault, eat a salad, blah, blah, blah.

00:15:49.72
Mike
Mhm.

00:15:55.71
Mike
Right.

00:15:56.20
Bill
But he said, when it really comes down to it, he goes, have you ever tried to get a six pack? He said, it's fucking impossible.

00:16:04.60
Mike
Right.

00:16:04.70
Bill
He goes, once you're over the age of 19, he goes, forget about it.

00:16:07.88
Mike
Yeah.

00:16:08.04
Bill
Unless you got a trainer, and you got this, and you got that, and he's going through all this different stuff.

00:16:10.21
Mike
Right.

00:16:11.50
Bill
He goes, it's impossible.

00:16:13.74
Mike
Yeah.

00:16:16.10
Bill
And i don't I don't want to do much fucking work any, I've never wanted to, so.

00:16:18.66
Mike
Now, I've given up six packs.

00:16:22.36
Bill
Yeah, all of them, in my body, and in my body. but dumb But yeah, I mean, to your point, I agree. I agree completely. you know we're we're at We're not doing too bad for you know somebody in his in his mid-50s and then the other guy in his late 50s.

00:16:37.08
Bill
So you're late 50s now, right?

00:16:37.14
Mike
right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm I keep trying working it over in my head, man. I'm pushing **** 60. There's just no doubt about it. You know, two and a half years is not going to be that **** long.

00:16:45.39
Bill
Right, right.

00:16:48.62
Mike
I will be sixty fucking years old

00:16:51.14
Bill
Right. But the, the same, the same thing that we talk about though, what a fucking gift but because I mean, for, for us to just take two of us, not even take all the other fucking and alcoholics and drug addicts out there, which is a gift for two, but knowing what you and I did to our bodies at the time that we came in and the shape that we were in, you know, to, to be at that point and be pushing that, you know, coming up on, you know, we're, we're rounding the quarter on that, you know, that

00:16:51.66
Mike
ye

00:16:55.39
Mike
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right.

00:17:07.42
Mike
since

00:17:15.77
Bill
Yeah. Handful of years, 20 years, you know, that since we got sober, um, I'm not trying to, you know, jump ahead on that.

00:17:17.52
Mike
Right.

00:17:21.48
Mike
Hmm.

00:17:21.78
Bill
I'm just saying in general, um, I, I wouldn't have lived another two, maybe another two months, let alone 15 years.

00:17:25.59
Mike
Right, right, yeah, exactly, yep, mm-hmm.

00:17:28.49
Bill
You know, I mean, Jesus Christ.

00:17:32.20
Bill
So I, you know what? I think when it comes down to, do we have to be grateful? Is that the problem?

00:17:38.60
Bill
Yeah.

00:17:38.83
Mike
Yes, yes, we have to be grateful.

00:17:39.65
Bill
yeah

00:17:42.36
Bill
All right, so anything else on that reading? That wasn't bad, I mean, it's, you know, again, give us you know something to talk about for a couple of minutes.

00:17:44.99
Mike
yeah yeah ah It was, yeah, it's fine, I'm gonna go light a cigarette.

00:17:52.31
Bill
Right, I think the funniest part was you were like, God, I didn't do a goddamn thing good for myself today. ah Fucking honesty. But yeah, so, all right, I got two quick things about about where where I'm at.

00:18:05.35
Bill
First of all, what did you say in the text message when I said I was here?

00:18:07.14
Mike
Oh yeah, beware banjo music.

00:18:07.91
Bill
Did you say something about fucking banjos, I think you said?

00:18:13.50
Bill
So, so here's the thing. And um again, I posted pictures on Instagram. If you don't follow us on Instagram, take a look. I mean, it's, it's pretty fucking cool. And it's, it's up, it is, it's up the steep hill.

00:18:23.72
Bill
And when you, I'm sure in the fall, once all the leaves get down, you can, you can see the road, but I don't think you can't really, it's, it's private, you know?

00:18:28.78
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

00:18:33.07
Bill
um you know to the point where like at at night and stuff like that, there's there's curtains on the bedroom, there's two windows in the bedroom, so there's curtains on there, are kind of like to black it out a little bit.

00:18:39.86
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:18:41.76
Bill
um But there's no curtains, there's three windows in the living room, and then the back door window, one window in the kitchen, there's no curtains on it.

00:18:48.78
Mike
Heh.

00:18:48.94
Bill
And to begin with, I'm just kind of like, well, that's kind of fucked up, then like ah whatever, man. you know it's It just is what it is.

00:18:52.26
Mike
Right.

00:18:53.99
Bill
you know And it's the place I was at in,

00:18:54.54
Mike
Okay.

00:18:58.31
Bill
niaa Niagara, over the kitchen window, there wasn't a curtain. So I bought a sheet and put that up there. But there was a house next door. Again, kind of a privacy fence, quote unquote, with the trees.

00:19:08.11
Mike
Hmm.

00:19:08.31
Bill
But I'm like that I put the I put a curtain up, you know, curtain ish up. But here I'm like, well, whatever, but I'm like, at night, I don't keep the light on to just draw it like the outside likes it draws bugs.

00:19:13.45
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:19:18.67
Bill
um You know, but I'm standing out there and I'm like, I don't know, it's going to be fucking looking at me for all I know.

00:19:22.65
Mike
Hehehehehe.

00:19:24.50
Bill
um And I'm like, what am I gonna do? You know, I'm like,

00:19:26.66
Mike
Right.

00:19:27.45
Bill
it It is what it is. Probably nobody's going to come up here. If they do, when they break in, I'm fucking dead because nobody's going to hear me.

00:19:30.59
Mike
Hehehehehehe.

00:19:33.23
Bill
So what do I care? I mean, seriously, it's just like, what am I what i going to do? Worry about it?

00:19:38.74
Mike
Yeah, right, right.

00:19:39.89
Bill
You know, but but it's it is it's it's cool. It's comfortable. It's a small ish house Same thing as a lot of Airbnbs. There's one closet in the bedroom um That's the only problem with some of these places just not a lot of closet space So I feel like I got kind of shit all over the place a little bit because I bring you know I I don't really have places to put all stuff, but I like it.

00:19:52.67
Mike
yeah

00:19:58.64
Bill
It's nice. It's comfortable. It's the internet's fucking wonderful Everything's been fine

00:20:01.34
Mike
Cool.

00:20:03.85
Bill
um

00:20:03.88
Mike
Yeah.

00:20:04.58
Bill
you know So I went and I you know hit a couple of places. I was on this ah this fucking trail that I went to on Sunday. ah yeah um It was on the this ridge of this mountain.

00:20:11.83
Mike
Uh huh.

00:20:17.13
Bill
I swear to fucking God, it was a 20 minute drive to get up there.

00:20:20.95
Mike
Uh huh.

00:20:21.26
Bill
in this winding, snaky road. I wish I would have known. It had to have been three miles, maybe. Maybe two.

00:20:27.66
Mike
Wow.

00:20:29.12
Bill
um But I mean, this road, barely enough for a car, this Jeep came barreling down one time, another car came down, just enough where both of us could squeeze off to one side and like, you know, kind of get by.

00:20:35.95
Mike
Uh huh.

00:20:40.78
Bill
um but terrible ah way up. And then, but when you get up there, it's like, it was only like a mile and a half or whatever out to this overlooking and a couple of these places you could pop out and take a look.

00:20:52.56
Bill
I mean, fucking mind blowing. I'm just like, I'm just standing there going, what the fuck? And there's these, you could tell people have done this, like repelling down these cliffs and these faces and these bluffs.

00:21:05.45
Mike
Yeah.

00:21:06.23
Bill
Cause there's, there's little bolts and shit around like, well, fuck me, you know? but there're But I'm standing there, in and I'm like, it's not slippery or anything like that, but it's still a little unnerving, because I'm like, in the wind goes the wrong way, but whoo, slip.

00:21:11.57
Mike
Mhm.

00:21:20.45
Bill
I'm like, again, same type of thing, but fucking just spectacular. I think I'm going to go up by the the Smoky Mountains. There's a couple of trails up in the southern end of it, like an hour away, either tomorrow or Sunday, maybe next weekend, whatever.

00:21:32.26
Bill
I got two weekends to do it. um but He just drive down to the grocery store in this fucking mountains and shit in the background. And oh, it's just fucking awesome.

00:21:38.64
Mike
Right. Cool.

00:21:40.96
Bill
And I wanted to get a haircut. So I drove out to the that trail that I went to. Just went to a great clips like an hour away from here. Just go in and I walk in.

00:21:48.96
Mike
Uh

00:21:50.03
Bill
There's this like three ladies and then this old fucking dude, right? And I mean, probably I'm not joking.

00:21:53.36
Mike
-huh.

00:21:56.18
Bill
The guy has to be in his fucking eighties, right?

00:21:58.01
Mike
Yeah.

00:21:59.19
Bill
And I'm looking at him like, that's a dude that's going to cut my hair. Fuck it.

00:22:01.26
Mike
All

00:22:01.51
Bill
I know it. And I'm like, um You know what? Good for him. He's that old, and he's up, and he's working. More power to this old dude, and I'm like, he wouldn't be working here if he didn't know what he's doing.

00:22:07.32
Mike
right.

00:22:11.06
Bill
Well, I was wrong.

00:22:11.64
Mike
Like that.

00:22:12.42
Bill
I was wrong. So he starts, okay, my hair is with clippers. Anyone who's ever used clippers before, ah number six, I use on the top, number three on the sides and in the back, and then they trim around the ears, do whatever, done.

00:22:19.90
Mike
Yeah.

00:22:25.44
Bill
That's it. That's my haircut.

00:22:26.68
Mike
Right.

00:22:27.52
Bill
So he's, he gets the six and he's doing, it and he's like, this isn't taking anything off.

00:22:31.50
Mike
Uh

00:22:31.91
Bill
And it's been like five weeks since I got my haircut. So there should have been a lot coming off, right?

00:22:34.92
Mike
huh. Right.

00:22:36.79
Bill
And I'm like, that's impossible. I said, are you sure it's a six? And he's like, yeah, look, it's like, do you want me to use a five? I'm like, yeah, because I could see him nuts come off. I'm like, what the fuck? So he uses a five or whatever, and then didn't do a very good job.

00:22:48.72
Bill
He didn't like, you could tell he didn't cut a lot off.

00:22:50.81
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:22:50.98
Bill
And now with a five, right? So it gets aside, still kind of like going through this thing. And then, you know, I'm, I'm thinking on around my ear when he did it, i'm I'm like, God, I feel like he cut too far up around my ear.

00:23:01.72
Bill
But then I'm like, can you go over the top? Again, he's like, I'm going to try the six again, just to make sure you've used a clipper before, right?

00:23:07.96
Mike
Yeah, of course.

00:23:08.55
Bill
There's an, there's an adjustment to high and low.

00:23:10.15
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:23:12.39
Bill
He added on high. Okay.

00:23:13.73
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:23:14.42
Bill
which means obviously it wasn't taking that much off. So now he's going over it with the six, right?

00:23:17.13
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:23:19.73
Bill
And I'm like, yeah, it looks fine, whatever. So I get, you know, I would hike, whatever, took a shower. Then I look at, I mean, my hair is all, it's not bad splotchy, but it's splotchy. He did, he cut up too far up around my my right ear.

00:23:30.65
Bill
So it's like this, this whole thing going up there. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? And these haircuts are great clips now, it's 20 bucks, you know, which is, it is what it is, but they used to be like fucking 12, right?

00:23:41.42
Bill
um I always leave you know four or five dollar tip so it's 25 bucks for this bad fucking haircut and I never do this but I I did I emailed great clips I'm just like this guy fucked up my hair nice old nice old guy whatever the deal is but I'm like it's fucked up you know I'm like how do you mess up that kind of haircut right

00:23:56.01
Mike
right

00:23:58.75
Bill
So the lady's like, finally the salon owner gets back to me and she's like, she's like, Oh, our system doesn't allow because I'm like, I don't want to make a big stink out of this refund my money. Have a great day. Let me get out with my life because I'm gonna have to get my hair cut again in like a week, you know, or two.

00:24:09.54
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Right.

00:24:13.27
Bill
um Our system doesn't allow to do it. Come on back. We'll redo the haircut. I'm like, I'm a fucking hour away. I'm not doing it.

00:24:17.67
Mike
Right.

00:24:17.81
Bill
And she's like, well, if you're in one of these other locations, I'm like, you were the closest location. If I go anywhere else, I'm like, it is what it is. It's not worth my time. Finally, after two, three emails, she's like, I could mail you a gift card.

00:24:29.43
Bill
And I'm like, why don't you fucking do that to begin with, right?

00:24:31.28
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:24:32.58
Bill
So, and I i really, I hate fucking complaining about it, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks, right?

00:24:36.60
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Right.

00:24:39.46
Bill
So i just it's been so long since I had a bad fucking haircut. i just It blows my mind. I don't understand how... When's the last time you you needed a haircut? I'm not trying to fuck with you.

00:24:48.86
Mike
he Yeah.

00:24:49.76
Bill
um I'm really not, because I know you cut you shave your head and you do the whole thing, but I don't even know if I know how long it's been since you've had to go someplace to get your haircut.

00:24:56.20
Mike
so poof Jesus. um

00:25:01.93
Mike
oh Um, um, bad.

00:25:08.22
Mike
Um, I don't know. Shit. How old am I?

00:25:13.16
Mike
Very long time.

00:25:14.76
Bill
Really, yeah.

00:25:14.80
Mike
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, um, you know, backward, but it mattered. Um, shit. Let's see. Yeah. that Probably, probably close to 30 years.

00:25:27.61
Bill
No, shit, see that, and it was seriously, when I was, as I'm talking about this, I'm like, i and I wasn't trying to fuck with you, but I was just, it i never think I don't think I've ever asked you, but because I know you've shaved you shaved your head for as long as I've known you at some minimum of almost 15 years, you know, so.

00:25:33.78
Mike
All right.

00:25:37.12
Mike
Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've been shaving my head probably. Yeah, probably 20 some years easily.

00:25:51.11
Bill
well

00:25:51.85
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So and and before that, you know, I mean, I pretty much took care of it myself. Um, you know, trim it, whatever. Um, I mean, for a long time, it was, you know, all pretty much one length.

00:26:05.52
Mike
I just, you know, pull it all back into a ponytail and you know, when the ends get a little shitty, I just clip the ends off.

00:26:11.42
Bill
Well.

00:26:11.99
Mike
So, yeah, you know, and before that, oh my lead singer was a fucking hairstylist.

00:26:12.50
Bill
Right.

00:26:17.72
Bill
Oh, shit, really?

00:26:17.86
Mike
So, yeah, yeah.

00:26:20.12
Bill
Huh.

00:26:20.60
Mike
it So, I mean, yeah, I went to cosmetology school and all that stuff and yeah he was like really good. um So, yeah, you know, it's I mean, going into a barber shop or anything like that.

00:26:32.23
Mike
I'm a teenager. Yeah, right.

00:26:37.11
Bill
ah that's just that's kind of funny to me but yeah I guess come to think of it even back in your you know back in the 80s and shit like that with ah I mean with the big big fucking hair I mean it didn't matter it's not like it had to be you know it part it wasn't even who the fuck would know right you know

00:26:42.83
Mike
Right.

00:26:45.40
Mike
Yep.

00:26:50.85
Bill
I mean, really, but I mean, I mean, I know there's a point, and there's a style to it.

00:26:52.20
Mike
Right.

00:26:54.41
Bill
I'm not taking away from that, but but still, it's like you can't look at it and go, you know what?

00:26:54.50
Mike
Yeah.

00:26:58.90
Bill
You missed a spot.

00:27:00.18
Mike
Right.

00:27:03.10
Bill
But no, it's just, it just it it blows it blows my mind. I mean, I don't get, um I get in, bute my haircuts are as inconsistent as Domino's pizzas are.

00:27:14.12
Bill
You know from different locations and and i've been to a lot of them, you know And just in the last six months since i've been kicking around doing this stuff Um in some of them, you know, they're fucking perfect and some that the crust is always different the amount of toppings the cheese Um how how cooked it is and it just I don't understand how somebody can again six three trim done

00:27:15.63
Mike
Right.

00:27:26.59
Mike
the Right.

00:27:37.10
Bill
I cut my hair myself for four fucking months during the pandemic and did a better job than this fucking dude did.

00:27:40.27
Mike
Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly.

00:27:45.36
Bill
but i don't know i just The thing of it is, i mean i'm not the the only cool part is i used to be um i'm just going to say i think I used to be relatively vain when it came to my hair.

00:27:55.47
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:27:56.27
Bill
um but certainly more conscious of it than I am today. I mean, i I don't fucking care. If I get a bad haircut, nobody can tell. you know um i like i Amber, we were I forget where we were the one time and she's like, you know i we're talking about something like yeah like, yeah, I need a haircut.

00:28:02.70
Mike
Right.

00:28:11.11
Bill
She's like, really? It looks like you just got your haircut. And I'm like, no, I said, it's actually really long. She's like, it never looks any different, you know?

00:28:16.24
Mike
Right.

00:28:17.50
Bill
And and I suppose it it doesn't. I mean, I don't do anything different to it. It's not like, I mean, it it gets longer every once in a while, but um I mean, all in all, you can probably tell when it's shorter more than that, but I don't know.

00:28:21.07
Mike
Right.

00:28:28.57
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:29.62
Bill
And I wasn't, I wasn't mad about the haircut.

00:28:29.76
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:31.30
Bill
It was just, I was like, literally like, are you fucking kidding me?

00:28:34.55
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:34.62
Bill
But the whole point was I didn't just drive out there for the haircut.

00:28:37.73
Mike
Mm

00:28:37.89
Bill
The end result was I got to see this great, you know, this great view and all that stuff. So it was fine, you know, but um I just like, fuck it all said and done.

00:28:41.83
Mike
hmm. Cool.

00:28:45.68
Bill
I'm just like, I don't wanna, I've had, again, not bad haircuts in the last three, four months, but um two people that just didn't cut it, they they put no force to it.

00:28:51.93
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:28:55.82
Bill
So I had to go back in like three weeks to get a haircut, you know?

00:28:58.09
Mike
Right.

00:28:59.17
Bill
I don't know. Just do your fucking job, man.

00:29:00.49
Mike
I don't know.

00:29:02.42
Bill
That's kind of what kind of my point, right?

00:29:05.40
Mike
Exactly.

00:29:06.82
Bill
but tom But no, I mean, seriously, it's it's fucking beautiful around here. it just it's some Have you ever been to this area at all or or no?

00:29:11.20
Mike
Nice.

00:29:14.02
Mike
I mean, probably.

00:29:16.09
Bill
Probably through.

00:29:17.02
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:29:17.77
Bill
Yeah.

00:29:18.40
Mike
Yeah.

00:29:19.05
Bill
Again, you've been everywhere.

00:29:19.61
Mike
I don't know. Is there an interstate somewhere nearby that and I've been there?

00:29:23.10
Bill
Yeah, I think i it it's just it's funny to me, but I mean, literally right where it is, because I'm looking at you know some of these different trails, i can it was 10 minutes for me to get into Georgia.

00:29:35.18
Bill
And technically, if I would have been able to drive just straight south, probably five minutes.

00:29:38.83
Mike
Right.

00:29:39.11
Bill
um But the road that I went down, I think it was 10 minutes before I was in the northern part of Georgia.

00:29:43.88
Mike
right

00:29:44.21
Bill
And I think um Tennessee, from to get into Tennessee, it can't be more than half hour from here.

00:29:51.36
Mike
Yeah, yeah.

00:29:51.60
Bill
You know, I mean, it's just it's literally it's at this tip of this North Carolina area.

00:29:55.14
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:29:57.11
Bill
um But um yeah, it's just it's it's really cool. It's it's nice, you know. um I don't know. I just one of those other places I've never I've never been here, never experienced these type of things.

00:30:07.80
Bill
And, you know, again, it just it's it's all fucking mind blowing to me sometimes.

00:30:09.60
Mike
Huh?

00:30:11.88
Bill
I don't know. But I'm sure a lot more stories. Like I say, I got I got to two more full weekends to run around. But yeah, so that's that. But, um, okay. So radio gig we talked about last week that's coming up, uh, shit, two weeks.

00:30:26.26
Bill
No, that is next Friday.

00:30:26.49
Mike
No, no, no, no. That's ah next Friday.

00:30:29.82
Bill
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:30.13
Mike
Yup.

00:30:30.74
Bill
That, okay. So, um, as of Monday or this weekend, you're going to start posting shit about it.

00:30:35.84
Mike
Yeah, yeah. but I mean, it's, you know, the show's going on right now.

00:30:37.11
Bill
Okay.

00:30:39.79
Bill
Oh yeah, that's right.

00:30:39.78
Mike
ah So actually, will I had it on while I was waiting for you guys to figure out what the fuck you were doing.

00:30:40.79
Bill
Okay.

00:30:46.10
Mike
ah Yeah, yeah. So next week, a week from right now, I will be on the radio.

00:30:55.11
Bill
Awesome. Yeah. Cause I know, yeah, because we're recording next Thursday night that much.

00:30:58.08
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:30:58.27
Bill
I knew I couldn't, it was clicking on what day it was. But, um, but yeah, I, uh, I came across a couple of the past posts over the last couple of days. So, um, you tell me what you, what you want me to put up and I'll obviously throw it up on Instagram, make sure it hits our Facebook page and you know, if you do what you do and we'll, uh, we'll get it promoted, but yeah.

00:31:06.10
Mike
Right.

00:31:13.69
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I've already been ah grabbing pictures and shit. And yeah, tomorrow morning, that's that's the plan. I got nothing going on. I am getting my playlist together.

00:31:24.55
Bill
Oh, God, that's right.

00:31:24.82
Mike
Yep.

00:31:25.35
Bill
I think I was i was there in that one time. Was that two years ago when you were actually doing that?

00:31:27.44
Mike
Mm hmm. Probably yeah, right. I mean, it's you know, it's a process. Yes, it's two hours of radio programming, but I only do it once a year and It's uh, yeah, you know, I mean I got a time shit out and you know because I can't but I want to play what I want to play and I gotta yeah, so, you know to fill that time and put in the breaks where I'm going to talk about whatever and blah blah blah and Yeah, you know, it's a process.

00:31:53.24
Mike
It takes me ah shit. It probably, I mean, all told, it probably takes me four and a half, five hours to actually sit down and do it all. And I write out my playlist and I, yeah, you know, it's a process.

00:32:05.23
Mike
I like doing it though.

00:32:06.92
Bill
Right.

00:32:07.00
Mike
I definitely, you know, so yeah, that's tomorrow. That's a, nobody's around and that's what I'm going to do.

00:32:11.93
Bill
Well, that's cool.

00:32:12.02
Mike
Then we're floating in the afternoon and then Chris has taken me out to dinner. Yeah.

00:32:16.77
Bill
Well, good.

00:32:17.46
Mike
Yeah.

00:32:18.20
Bill
Well, that's cool. Yeah. And I, I remembered it was a, it was a long, it took a, an amount of time to put that together, but I couldn't remember what it was.

00:32:23.07
Mike
Yes, it does.

00:32:24.84
Bill
But, uh, you know, the thing of it is, and you, you, I know hit the nail right on the head when you said you, you don't mind doing it and you enjoy it, which that's, that's the point.

00:32:29.68
Mike
Hmm. I do.

00:32:33.75
Bill
and You know, same, same thing with this stuff. You know, I mean, we, we get on, you know, the, it's not even just the talking time, the putting together the, ah the podcast. Once again, I mean, it's a, it's the most it's an hour and a half, but usually it's not more than an hour and 15 minutes, which, you know, when I, when I think about the entire time commit from, from start to finish, I mean, it's, it's two and a half, three hours, you know,

00:32:44.23
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Sure.

00:32:52.91
Bill
um But number one, does it feel like it? And I don't care. yeah you know I mean, because this is all, it's like the time it takes for me to do my readings in the morning and that sort of thing.

00:32:56.41
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:33:01.85
Bill
you know um i mean it's ah I enjoy it and that's gotta be the same thing.

00:33:02.35
Mike
Right.

00:33:06.00
Bill
I mean, four or five hours trying to figure out a playlist does not seem like a great time to me.

00:33:08.72
Mike
it

00:33:11.03
Mike
a

00:33:12.04
Bill
I i know what I would start doing. I'd be trying to figure out how can I make this more efficient?

00:33:16.42
Mike
Right. And there really there really isn't a way.

00:33:17.50
Bill
But I was was just gonna say,

00:33:18.96
Mike
I mean, cause, you know, I mean, cause some of the, you know, sometime, like I said, I've got to time everything out. So I need to know exactly how long every song is. Um, you know, some, some have have the time on them.

00:33:29.39
Mike
Some don't. So I've got to sit there and play the whole song and time it out and you know, which is fine, but you know, and, and I put in, you know, there's an order to it, you know, in a flow and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:33:35.30
Bill
Right.

00:33:41.03
Mike
Yeah. I love doing it, but yes, it takes, takes some time.

00:33:46.24
Bill
But once again, I mean, all of it, you know, just as a quick reminder for everyone else out, you know, if you haven't, if you have no idea what we're talking about, you know, Mike does this every year. It's for a college radio station.

00:33:55.21
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:33:56.74
Bill
um You know, obviously he bids on it and it gets to do that every year and it's ah it's giving back.

00:34:00.65
Mike
Yep.

00:34:01.34
Bill
and being a productive member of society in the community.

00:34:03.95
Mike
Absolutely.

00:34:04.32
Bill
but And it's in this this whole thing has roots in the Keating Center, because he found this one show back when we were at the Keating Center.

00:34:09.23
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:34:12.34
Bill
And I don't know, it's just it's a really cool thing that goes full circle back to really early sobriety.

00:34:12.71
Mike
Yep.

00:34:17.66
Bill
And even though it's not a sober thing that you're doing, it is in a roundabout way.

00:34:17.85
Mike
No. no

00:34:23.49
Bill
It has roots in that, right?

00:34:23.72
Mike
yeah and as roots, yeah, absolutely. You know, I, I've talked about it before. It was the first, the first glimpse of shit. Maybe I can, you know, have a normal life and be myself doing this sobriety thing. Cause you know, your first couple of weeks of being sober, it's like, fuck, what am I going to, you know, am I going to be able to be me? Am I going to be able to have fun? Am I going to be able to, you know, yeah, all that shit, you know, it's, it's, it's tough and yes. And, and,

00:34:51.84
Mike
Obviously a huge part of me is rock and roll and all that good stuff and it was like, how am I gonna be able to do this? Am I gonna be able to do this? And of yeah, just, you know, listening to the radio and listening to cool music and and guys talking and and having fun.

00:35:06.36
Mike
And it was like, fuck, man. you know It was the first glimpse of, okay, maybe this is gonna work.

00:35:12.07
Bill
Right.

00:35:12.61
Mike
Yeah.

00:35:13.74
Bill
Yeah. And again, early a couple of weeks, we figured, right? Two, three weeks and something like that.

00:35:17.40
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:35:18.53
Bill
I mean, like super.

00:35:18.69
Mike
Oh yeah, probably, probably the second week, second Friday, I was in the Keating Center.

00:35:21.79
Bill
Right.

00:35:23.94
Mike
I was like, fuck, you know, went to my meeting, got back and I'm laying there going, fuck.

00:35:27.22
Bill
yeah

00:35:30.97
Mike
I'm going to find something to listen to on the radio. And yeah, well, yeah, I found something.

00:35:33.60
Bill
Right.

00:35:38.56
Bill
Yeah, and again, you know like it like I said, you know almost it's 14 and a half years later. I mean, it's still ah still a part of your life, inadvertently, not that completely first show, but still, it is.

00:35:45.03
Mike
Right. right

00:35:47.61
Bill
it is you know So it's just, I don't know, it's really it's really fucking cool to me.

00:35:48.69
Mike
Yeah, it is right.

00:35:51.87
Bill
Oh, Derek texted me the other day and he said, he goes, yeah, he goes, up just he goes I'm listening to your podcast with you guys talking about Machine Gun Kelly.

00:36:00.92
Mike
ah

00:36:01.24
Bill
And he goes, he goes if you guys wanna know anything more about him, he goes, ask Katie, she loves him.

00:36:05.69
Mike
Ah, nah.

00:36:08.14
Bill
And I'm like, really? I said, I'll have to do that. That kind of made me laugh. I don't know that I've ever, I've never met anyone outside of the Cleveland area that's even, you know, under those, that that his name has come across somebody else.

00:36:15.33
Mike
Hmm.

00:36:19.94
Bill
I've seen it on social media and shit like that.

00:36:20.26
Mike
Right, yeah.

00:36:21.58
Bill
But personally, I've never met anyone outside of Cleveland that I mentioned him that talks about him or anything.

00:36:27.57
Mike
Right, yeah, right.

00:36:28.55
Bill
so

00:36:28.94
Mike
I mean, seriously, the only knowledge I have of him of any sort is he played Tommy Lee in that dirt movie, that Motley Crue movie.

00:36:37.31
Bill
Oh, really?

00:36:38.08
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:39.59
Bill
Huh. Okay, I guess I didn't even know that. Shit. Well, okay.

00:36:43.50
Mike
That's the most exposure I've had to Machine Gun Kelly.

00:36:48.60
Bill
You know, seriously, I had no fucking idea who the dude was until, um, till I came out to Cleveland and got sober out there. Cause then, you know, people would start talking about him whenever.

00:36:54.85
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:36:56.70
Bill
And I'm like, who the fuck's this dude?

00:36:57.06
Mike
Right.

00:36:58.44
Bill
You know, I didn't know what he was.

00:36:59.43
Mike
Oh, yeah.

00:37:00.22
Bill
And like I said, when we were talking about him last week, um, uh, one of his songs could be playing right now, anywhere I'm at. I would never, ever know it was him.

00:37:07.34
Mike
Nope.

00:37:07.49
Bill
Never. I'd even be like, is this machine code Kelly?

00:37:10.45
Mike
Nope.

00:37:11.55
Bill
Who would have never known. So. All right, I was gonna say I, we, because this is our time, Mr.

00:37:21.75
Mike
Mr.

00:37:22.00
Bill
Hand.

00:37:22.03
Mike
Hand.

00:37:23.46
Bill
We have much more to talk about, but why don't we, what do you think? Should we take a break?

00:37:27.47
Mike
Yeah, let's do it, man. All right. Stay tuned for more of this wonderful, exciting talk right after these words from our sponsors. Eh,

00:37:43.44
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome back. And yeah, you did this. Sponsors, zizzers.

00:37:48.04
Mike
yeah right. I don't know how many ads are put in, you know, sponsors, sponsors, whatever.

00:37:51.71
Bill
Yeah.

00:37:54.81
Bill
Okay. So just a a quick side note on that because, um, all podcasts that I mean, from, from us to, um, all the sober podcasts, even smartless now is is dropping in those prerecorded ads.

00:38:00.11
Mike
Sure.

00:38:06.75
Bill
They do all of their, their host red ads that they've done for your smartless has, you know, so whatever it is, these big companies and it's the hosts that are reading them.

00:38:09.78
Mike
Sure. and Right.

00:38:15.40
Bill
So a lot of, a lot of podcasts do that too, but, um, everyone is doing the ads like we are now.

00:38:17.25
Mike
isn't Right.

00:38:20.11
Bill
Um, and we're not the first, you know, or anything we started doing it cause other people were doing it.

00:38:24.14
Mike
Yeah.

00:38:24.67
Bill
But... um People have dropped, you know there's always one dropped in the beginning. There's maybe one about 20 minutes in usually for us.

00:38:33.66
Mike
Okay.

00:38:33.98
Bill
And then in the middle, sometimes they'll drop one around where our break is. Because I think they AI's got to recognize that sponsor type of thing. you know It has to. And then same thing, you know probably at the, I don't know, 60 minute mark roughly halfway through.

00:38:45.04
Mike
Right.

00:38:48.25
Bill
And then at the end, you know that's usually where the breaks are. some Sometimes there's two in the last half because it's ours is longer in the last half.

00:38:55.67
Mike
right

00:38:56.16
Bill
um but the thing that is is that every time because I just have them automatically do what it's their AI placed or whatever it is which is fine I would take me too much fucking time to figure out where to put them but they usually they'll they'll let's say if it's five spaces they do two ads per space I think that's overkill okay

00:39:03.76
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Mm hmm. Yeah.

00:39:14.97
Bill
um I don't I don't want to for everyone out there listening. I mean, yeah, thank you You know if you listen through the ads even if you speed through them, I don't give a fuck if you start to play them That's fine.

00:39:23.62
Mike
Right.

00:39:24.57
Bill
We get credit for quote-unquote.

00:39:26.06
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:39:26.13
Bill
We're not making a lot of money off of it The point I have in the ads is it just gives us more exposure.

00:39:27.76
Mike
Hmm.

00:39:31.08
Bill
That's it And I mean, I'm serious every three months we get like nine dollars

00:39:31.19
Mike
Sure. Yeah.

00:39:35.74
Mike
Partay

00:39:36.94
Bill
Maybe, I think we just, I know, it just just the other day, it's like, oh, you're gutted a positive $9.17 going into your account.

00:39:41.08
Mike
Uh

00:39:45.79
Bill
And I'm like, fucking ain't right. That's like for however many ads for three months, it doesn't, I don't even pay attention. um But the i I cut everything down except for the end.

00:39:51.54
Mike
-huh

00:39:56.82
Bill
At the end, so technically after our recorded thing, the breeze did for us, at the end of that, I'll i'll leave the two ads at that point.

00:40:00.72
Mike
Mm-hmm Mm hmm.

00:40:06.16
Bill
So if people happen to roll our episodes into something else, they're gonna hear those ads. If you're listening to that point, you don't speed ahead, then fuck you, you're hearing two ads, okay?

00:40:10.55
Mike
Right.

00:40:14.96
Mike
Right.

00:40:15.81
Bill
um Because at that point, it's it's done, you know?

00:40:18.31
Mike
right

00:40:19.26
Bill
I just, I don't want to, I don't know, I want to overload people, but all these other podcasts that sees two ads at the beginning, it's just, it's painful, you know? And I'm like, I just, I speed through them.

00:40:27.05
Mike
Right.

00:40:28.64
Bill
So I don't know, I'm trying to be, I try to look at this, you know, we've got to fill a purpose or, you know, it it serves a purpose for us, but I also look at it on my end, what I hate, not hate, but what I really dislike.

00:40:40.12
Mike
Right.

00:40:41.80
Bill
And I don't want to do that to other people. So once again, that's me being the better person, trying to think of other people. Is that what it is?

00:40:47.15
Mike
he Sure. Cosigned.

00:40:51.95
Bill
That's a bunch of fucking bullshit.

00:40:53.48
Mike
yeah

00:40:55.72
Bill
ah But anyhow, so that's ah anyhow, so that's why the answer in there because because, yeah, we can.

00:41:00.27
Mike
Right.

00:41:00.41
Bill
So.

00:41:01.08
Mike
And speaking of people actually making money off this, no, I, uh, I listen, I finally listened to that, uh, Wolfgang Van Halen, uh, Mark Marin, um,

00:41:08.03
Bill
OK. okay

00:41:10.81
Mike
today. Shit. Yeah, that's right. Um, had a little driving, extra driving to do. I went down to Columbus. So, uh, yeah, it was good. I liked it.

00:41:18.50
Bill
Yeah.

00:41:18.99
Mike
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. the yeah I mean, the kids fucking got a real good head on his shoulders, man. Um, you know, yeah, just a ah good fucking attitude.

00:41:25.52
Bill
Right?

00:41:27.96
Mike
Cause like, I mean, you talked about when you were talking about it, yeah, all the hate and stuff. And, um, yeah, he's, he's definitely dealing with it. And The other day, um I don't know if you listen to the moon unit Zappa ah Okay, that one That's a good one.

00:41:40.56
Bill
Not yet. i That's on that's on my on my list to listen to.

00:41:45.23
Mike
Listen to that one.

00:41:45.38
Bill
Is it? Okay.

00:41:46.15
Mike
Yeah. Yeah, she's uh, she went through some shit, man I mean, I love, I love Frank Zappa's music. I always have. Um, I like, you know, the guy, but the guy was a fucking major dick, which I knew, but, um, yeah, you know, and apparently his wife was, uh, no piece of cake either.

00:42:00.51
Bill
Right.

00:42:06.35
Mike
Uh, so yeah, she, uh, they have an interesting family and, uh, she definitely worked in her and Mark actually dated for a while.

00:42:14.47
Bill
Who did?

00:42:17.17
Mike
Uh, uh, Mark and moon unit.

00:42:19.19
Bill
Moon? Oh, really? I didn't know that.

00:42:21.48
Mike
ya Yeah. Yeah. They're like six months.

00:42:22.51
Bill
OK.

00:42:23.10
Mike
They talk about it.

00:42:24.50
Bill
Oh, shit.

00:42:24.46
Mike
Yeah. Um, you know, so yeah, it's, uh, it was a really good interview.

00:42:25.57
Bill
OK.

00:42:29.70
Mike
And, um, again, a lot of trauma stuff and a lot of, it was good. It was really good. I liked it a lot. So yes, listen to that one.

00:42:37.40
Bill
Yeah. And I, and I saw that one, but the one I listened to was the one right after that was, uh, I forget what the guy's name, uh, Michael Rooker or something like that. And I'm like, who the, I'm like, who the fuck is this dude? So I looked him up. It's the, um, he was in like, uh, you've seen days of thunder, right?

00:42:51.78
Mike
Uh, once, maybe when it came out. Yeah.

00:42:55.67
Bill
It was the, he was the, the rowdy dude. Um, he was like rowdy burns or whatever.

00:42:58.48
Mike
up I don't know. We're talking for what, 40 years ago when that fucking movie came out.

00:43:02.32
Bill
And I know that. you'd You'd know him if you saw him, but when I saw him, like I'm like, oh, I like this dude. So I listened to that. It was a good interview. But then I saw the one for for Moon too.

00:43:08.96
Mike
Yeah.

00:43:10.26
Bill
And I listened to it probably in my running around over the next couple of days or or whatever.

00:43:13.52
Mike
Yeah.

00:43:15.17
Bill
Sometimes I'll listen to it while I'm making dinner and stuff. But yeah, I saw that and night I just hadn't had a chance to listen to it yet. But but yeah, so I listened to some of the things put mammoth up on spotify when i went up to i think when i went up to market when i was driving up there because i think that's when we we're talking about this and um it's it's decent i mean it's a it didn't didn't make my ears bleed in a bad way um he's a decent singer i mean the the

00:43:29.83
Mike
Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, right.

00:43:43.04
Bill
Every band's got their almost like their musical I don't want to call it a tick but things that that they do and like every song like the Foo Fighters have it everyone does the Foo Fighters are always like the soft and then they fucking blow your doors off with something that'll soften up whatever they got the same pattern.

00:43:50.59
Mike
Right.

00:43:56.39
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:43:57.60
Bill
um But they do a lot of the, almost like that, what we were talking about with What's This Fuck with the Foo Fighters, the double kick bass type of thing.

00:44:04.91
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:05.66
Bill
It's almost like that tool does it almost with their music and Linkin Park, today I'm thinking more of a tool type of sound with that that booming type of bass type of thing. There's a little bit of that to the background.

00:44:16.70
Bill
I like it, it's decent enough. I don't know that, um I just listened to it that time, but it's not terrible. you know There's some of those ones I've listened to and I'm like, right.

00:44:21.98
Mike
Yeah. Right. Well, I mean, it's all him. It's not a band. Yeah, right. Yeah. You know, it's like that. He talked about that in the interview. He's like, yeah, that's kind of what inspired me was that first Foo Fighters album, because that's all Dave.

00:44:35.50
Bill
Right.

00:44:36.37
Mike
Right.

00:44:36.75
Bill
Yep. Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, obviously, he he takes a band out with him when when they play live, of course.

00:44:40.59
Mike
Yeah. Well, of course.

00:44:41.85
Bill
But but yeah, I mean, yeah, i and I apologize.

00:44:41.89
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:44.45
Bill
You're right. Yeah, all of the the recordings are all, yeah, all him.

00:44:47.32
Mike
Yep.

00:44:48.01
Bill
you know So yeah, when I say they, yeah, that was the wrong way to put it. But yeah, but it is. It's ah it's a um it's nothing like Van Halen, which is that's on purpose.

00:44:56.56
Mike
Right.

00:44:56.87
Bill
um He he won't he gets hes said people get pissed off at him because he won't play Van Halen shit.

00:45:02.26
Mike
Right.

00:45:02.44
Bill
He was scared, obviously, to do the the Taylor Hawkins thing because he didn't want to fuck it up.

00:45:07.24
Mike
Right.

00:45:07.57
Bill
um you know And he just doesn't want to be, um he's always going to be compared. But he's like, he goes, how the fuck can I, he goes, nobody could be my dad. oh

00:45:13.43
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:45:14.10
Bill
as anyway

00:45:14.15
Mike
Well, I love, I love the ladies. He said, yeah, but I'm a better drummer than he was.

00:45:18.29
Bill
yeah yeah yeah i know when he when he said that i laughed at that and do you know just as a side note that when alex and eddie started off they were flipped um alex was playing guitar and eddie was on the drums yeah which i thought that to begin with i that i'm like that's fucking weird you know but in in a fun way it's a weird the fun way so

00:45:18.56
Mike
Nobody ever says that about me.

00:45:31.22
Mike
Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, that I do. Yeah. Mm hmm.

00:45:42.19
Bill
but yeah I will definitely uh definitely listen to that but yeah I'm glad you listened to it I I thought the same thing I've got I have respect for Wolfgang just I do nothing about him and I have to listen to to it it just uh I was gonna say a newfound respect but I mean I had nothing I didn't know anything about him you know so right

00:45:50.61
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:45:56.38
Mike
Yeah, it seems like a very decent person and I still won't go listen to it because I just don't fucking care.

00:46:03.37
Bill
You're going to go and just listen to the same three songs that you've listened to for 15 or 20 years.

00:46:06.82
Mike
That's right. God damn right.

00:46:09.84
Bill
Yeah, i just fucking with you. Okay, so um this is like one of the last things that I wrote down. And I think we talked about this, but um you know, it never, it never hurts to bring it up again because I, again, it might've been a year ago because I took it out of one of the readings recently.

00:46:25.41
Bill
So from the 24 hour book, am I completely honest with myself and with other people?

00:46:30.00
Mike
he

00:46:31.19
Bill
I think we talked about this, didn't we before?

00:46:32.70
Mike
i i I don't know but I remember reading it the other day and going ah mostly. so

00:46:40.55
Bill
Okay, so that's ah when when I read it, I did this, I did the same fucking thing. I'm like, and then I'm like completely, you know, and it is, it's just, it's, it's really, when it, when it comes down to it, I mean, I don't know how, what are your thoughts on that?

00:46:47.58
Mike
na

00:46:54.66
Bill
I mean, how, how else can you put it, but just, right.

00:46:58.10
Mike
Right. Well, I mean, you know, again, that one, ah right. It was from a day or two ago or three or whatever. and um Yeah, you know, it made me stop for a second. God damn it. Um, you know, but, um, yeah, certainly far more honest than I was 14 and a half years ago. Um, and, you know, no, not fucking completely. Of course not. Um, it's process, man. I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. Oh shit. I'm not totally fucking honest with everybody all the time. Um,

00:47:32.40
Mike
But yeah, um I'm far more honest and I live far more honestly than I ever have in my life. Um, so yeah, I'm doing all right. Did a little, little spot mini inventory there in the morning.

00:47:46.48
Bill
hey

00:47:46.48
Mike
Um, yeah, uh, I'm far more honest than I ever have been in my entire life. And, um, that's good enough for today.

00:47:56.10
Bill
Right. Well, and that's the other thing too. So I i know we've talked about the whole point of um what you what do you always say? Honesty without um

00:48:04.73
Mike
Honesty without compassion is cruelty.

00:48:06.94
Bill
There you go. And yeah, I always want to say honesty without love, because I i think you used to say it that way.

00:48:10.72
Mike
yeah Right.

00:48:11.78
Bill
Either way, it's the same deal. you know Just brutal honesty is not the way to be, because you know we we could be honest, but we we don't want to hurt people. you know um Same thing that goes back to you know anyone, whether it's a man or a woman.

00:48:19.84
Mike
here

00:48:24.03
Mike
Right.

00:48:24.32
Bill
and My jeans make my ass look fat. No, you look wonderful. you know I mean, does how does my haircut look? It looks great. you know But you know that that's the thing.

00:48:31.96
Mike
Right.

00:48:35.25
Bill
so that that's there's that part of it. And then there's the other part of it where, um I don't know, do we need to really be, is it everyone's business that just for all of us to walk around and just, you know, I mean, literally vomit our truth, you know, out to to everyone, you know, and it's just, it's just not, you know.

00:48:44.42
Mike
Hmm.

00:48:49.06
Mike
No, of course not. No. Right. I mean, the whole point is, you know, if I'm being honest with myself, um, and, and yes, for, you know, again, more than I ever have in my life.

00:48:57.57
Bill
Right.

00:49:04.86
Mike
Um, yes, I am. I am honest with myself. I, I'm not bullshitting myself anymore. Um, which is, you know, one of the big points of this whole fucking thing. Um, yeah, I I'm not.

00:49:18.88
Mike
being dishonest with myself anymore. um I don't believe my own lies anymore. and

00:49:27.38
Bill
I don't know why that made me laugh but it did.

00:49:27.43
Mike
hey well good but Well, because it's goddamn ridiculous that we lived for so long believing our own lies. all you know If anyone should know that we're fucking lying, it's us, yet we still fucking believe it. I'm okay. I'm doing just fine.

00:49:46.22
Bill
It wasn't me.

00:49:46.20
Mike
yeah

00:49:48.91
Mike
It's a vomiting on my fucking pants and you know and shitting my bed and you know, yes, right.

00:49:50.87
Bill
ah

00:49:56.20
Mike
I'm okay ah Are you though right, you know, so yes, I'm honest with myself today which is you know yeah and and that bleeds into being honest with other people and but yes again not

00:50:02.05
Bill
ah Right.

00:50:12.33
Mike
i Had a girlfriend a long time ago who used to say she's to call it gratuitous honesty um Because yeah, you know it was that was you know, I didn't have a problem with that.

00:50:23.16
Mike
I'll fucking tell you exactly what's wrong with you um I'm just being honest just being honest with you.

00:50:27.53
Bill
Right.

00:50:28.62
Mike
Oh, yeah gratuitous honesty. Shut the fuck up. How about that?

00:50:32.81
Bill
Right.

00:50:32.76
Mike
ah Have a nice big cup of that um So yes, I'm honest with myself and that bleeds into being honest with other people and just living an honest life um But yes, I don't need to ah Walk around and tell everybody how I feel and I'm just being honest.

00:50:51.61
Mike
I'm living my own truth No, I'm living my own truth to my fucking self, you know and then trying to be kind and and and loving to other people and Which isn't always fucking honest, and that's okay ah Because honestly, I think you're a fucking piece of shit, and I don't like you but But that's that's that's the honesty without compassion um The compassionate thing to say is that you're all right.

00:50:56.26
Bill
Right.

00:51:09.73
Bill
Right.

00:51:15.33
Bill
right?

00:51:18.25
Mike
You know I'll i'll see you later and hopeful And hopefully I won't Right and thank you

00:51:21.01
Bill
Yeah, or well, and that's the thing or fucking say nothing. You know, I mean, that's the, yeah, that's the, that's the other thing, you know, the, the, the biggest gift. And I remember how it's worded, but there's a thing that comes up every year because I had posted on Facebook one year. Um, but it's something about that, you know, the, the,

00:51:37.39
Bill
I, again, however is worded but the, the ability to shut the fuck up is basically basically what it comes down to, you know, um and we we don't always.

00:51:43.20
Mike
Right.

00:51:46.71
Bill
there There are so many things that that I want to say, all the time. I mean, all the time, you know, to to the point of

00:51:52.20
Mike
Right. Yes.

00:51:55.78
Bill
oh my God, what are you doing to yourself? Or oh my God, what, I don't fucking care what you're talking about right now.

00:51:57.87
Mike
Right.

00:52:01.35
Mike
right

00:52:01.61
Bill
Or why do you keep bothering me? Why do you keep coming around me?

00:52:03.47
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:52:04.98
Bill
You know, anything, but whatever the, and it's usually, it's, yeah, maybe somebody that's not, I'm not the biggest fan of, or that's not doing things the way that, um eat not even the way that I want them, ah yes, of course, but maybe outside of, you know, even society's guidelines and stuff like that, you know?

00:52:09.93
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:52:15.03
Mike
Hmm. Yes.

00:52:20.84
Mike
Right.

00:52:21.52
Bill
um But, But really that what it comes down to is is what's again what's the point? you know i don't Nobody cares what I think just because why do i why do I have to be the one to tell the motherfucker unless they're hurting somebody and I can and i can stop that or or prevent that.

00:52:28.82
Mike
bright Right. Right. Right.

00:52:35.64
Bill
you know If they're making somebody else's corner of the world a ah worse place than and I could do something about it without you know hurting myself or others.

00:52:35.79
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:52:44.36
Bill
but But you know, the biggest thing is and that what I, what I think about every time, uh, either that reading comes up or when, when we talk about this is that it's still, and I know we talk about this, it's still my default.

00:52:52.03
Mike
Hmm.

00:52:55.61
Bill
Um, especially if I did something wrong, whether it's, it's going to be inadvertently cause I don't try to do things wrong these days, work situation, anything like that.

00:53:01.16
Mike
Right.

00:53:03.98
Bill
My first thought is how can I lie about this?

00:53:06.54
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:53:07.49
Bill
What, what can I do? How can I cover this up? How can I blame somebody else? I don't want to take responsibility for my actions.

00:53:14.61
Mike
Right. Right.

00:53:16.73
Bill
You know, and that's, ah um I don't know, when does that go away after 15 years of sobriety? I mean, is it is that coming up for us? or

00:53:23.30
Mike
I, I, I, I'm pretty sure I'm um' pretty damn i'm sure it's never going to go away.

00:53:23.83
Bill
yeah

00:53:29.83
Mike
Um, yeah, you know, but again, it's, it's our thoughts don't fucking matter.

00:53:29.92
Bill
Right.

00:53:34.31
Mike
It's what we are actions, what we do. Yeah, you know, I don't want to take responsibility for myself, but I do because it's the fucking right thing to do. So I do it.

00:53:45.45
Bill
Right.

00:53:46.12
Mike
Yeah.

00:53:46.33
Bill
Well, and I'd say that's the biggest thing. And i'm I'm glad you said that is that the one of the biggest difference I know for myself and in YouTube, too because we you know, you and I have talked about it is exactly what you just said is, you know, taking responsibility for yourself and your actions, what, ah what a complete turnaround, you know, from from the way I used to be, um I never wanted to take well, unless I did something right, then I wanted to be you know, I

00:53:59.57
Mike
Right.

00:54:04.26
Mike
right

00:54:07.92
Mike
Hmm. Oh yeah.

00:54:09.19
Bill
I can bust, bust both my arms pat myself on the back and make sure everyone else did too.

00:54:11.88
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep.

00:54:14.28
Bill
Um, but yeah, I mean, I never, I never want to take responsibility to use this person, that person, but now, I mean, it sucks every once in a while being responsible, you know, yeah not really, not really.

00:54:21.24
Mike
Hmm. Right. Right.

00:54:24.76
Bill
That was a, that was a joke.

00:54:24.88
Mike
Yeah. And, but, you know, and also with that comes, you know, it's, it's all my fault, you know, and I can't, but I like not being able to blame anybody else anymore.

00:54:26.38
Bill
yeah

00:54:34.53
Bill
Right.

00:54:35.32
Mike
I really do. Um, Yeah, you know again, there it's there's that F word again, freedom. you know i Nobody has any fucking control over me if everything I do is my fault, good and bad. and know Nobody has any control. Nobody can fucking say, oh, yeah no, it's it's all me. And again, it comes back to those people acting the way we don't want them to act. There's my air quotes for this episode.

00:55:03.29
Mike
um Right. And if anybody understands that nobody's going to fucking change unless they want to, it's us, you know?

00:55:10.45
Bill
Right.

00:55:11.10
Mike
ah So nothing I'm going to say is going to change anybody. I understand that because clearly I didn't change. People said shit to me all the time. Oh, you you kind of fucking out.

00:55:22.23
Mike
You know, you might, yeah, fuck you.

00:55:26.05
Bill
Right.

00:55:26.02
Mike
Oh, again, believing my own lies. Uh, so yeah. Well, it's it's it's freedom. It's wonderful. It's all my responsibility. It's all my fault. And therefore nobody can fucking tell me what to do.

00:55:39.57
Mike
It's all me. And it's I love that.

00:55:42.93
Bill
Mm hmm.

00:55:43.00
Mike
You know, even even my fuck ups. I love it. You know, it's up to me to fix it.

00:55:45.80
Bill
Right.

00:55:47.55
Mike
It's up to me. Nobody has any control over me anymore. Not just the fucking substances don't have control over me. but People, places and things don't have control over me either.

00:55:57.85
Bill
Right?

00:55:58.15
Mike
Yeah.

00:55:58.84
Bill
Yeah. And I mean, even though and when it comes to to our successes, even though, um you know, it it is this is this is a we program, we stay sober, and all those sort of things, and we do all these things together.

00:56:07.34
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:56:10.27
Bill
um As a group, though, you know, the group get again, we can't drag somebody out the bar, so we can't do this.

00:56:15.38
Mike
Right.

00:56:16.26
Bill
Even though we're we're part of the group, and we're in this together, and we get help, and we get direction, all those sort of things, we still have to take the action, right?

00:56:19.16
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:56:24.21
Bill
You know, so um even

00:56:24.14
Mike
Yes. Like Bob used to say, it's an inside job. but Yep.

00:56:27.84
Bill
Exactly. you know So when when we get to this point, you know that um and we we hear it all the time when people you know tell their stories and things like that, that I can't take credit for any of this and blah, blah, blah, sort of yes, sort of no.

00:56:38.71
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:56:40.95
Bill
okay Now only to the point where I can't take credit that the things that I do today, the things that you do today, they're not original thoughts or original actions.

00:56:47.56
Mike
Right. No, no, right.

00:56:50.35
Bill
okay um None of this, we we stole or were given everything that we have.

00:56:55.92
Mike
Absolutely.

00:56:56.70
Bill
that we can agree with but we were given the box of cake a box with a cake mix and somebody said follow the directions and bake a fucking cake and we had to do it we still had to take the action i love the fact that we get to refer to that fucking box of cake next time we see we i think we brought it up last time we saw joe but um it's such a

00:56:57.81
Mike
Yep.

00:57:01.17
Mike
Uh huh. Yep.

00:57:06.63
Mike
Yep. ye this is Yep. Yep.

00:57:18.56
Mike
Uh-huh. I'll be seeing him next month.

00:57:23.36
Bill
Well, mention it again, because the, the, the box of cake every, and I know I've, I've used that as an example.

00:57:25.64
Mike
I will.

00:57:30.29
Bill
I don't know how many times, and that's a perfect example.

00:57:31.27
Mike
Right.

00:57:32.67
Bill
You know, as a group, ah everyone's still, everyone's given the, you know, the directions and things like that, but you're still given your own individual box of fucking cake mix.

00:57:40.86
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:57:41.57
Bill
You still got to put it together and bake a fucking cake.

00:57:44.01
Mike
Yes, you do.

00:57:44.32
Bill
And you still have the ability to do it right, to get that pad on the back or to fuck it up.

00:57:49.47
Mike
Yep. Yep.

00:57:53.09
Bill
So um yeah, I mean, and how do we start on this being honest with each other? like We got the cake mix.

00:57:57.31
Mike
Oh, yeah, right. We did.

00:58:00.09
Bill
yeah But yeah, I mean, I agree 100%. The ah complete honesty, I think, is a myth.

00:58:04.82
Mike
Ah, right.

00:58:05.72
Bill
um you know and but But the whole hey control is an illusion, all those sort of things, right?

00:58:07.98
Mike
It's like unconditional love. What a load of shit. Yes.

00:58:15.66
Bill
But um but yeah, I mean, i ah Same thing as we talked about, I think we started off with how we treated our bodies. We're doing pretty goddamn good for a couple of worthless human beings that we were, again, 14 and a half, 15 years ago.

00:58:22.82
Mike
Right.

00:58:25.78
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:58:28.53
Bill
so um yeah But i we get the concept.

00:58:28.75
Mike
Right.

00:58:31.30
Bill
We're not out there hurting people either, so I think which is a good thing.

00:58:32.62
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:58:34.69
Bill
All right, so this is kind of funny, and i this was a little bit higher on my list here, but um goes along the same lines. This was from, keep it simple, don't talk unless you can improve the silence, okay?

00:58:43.88
Mike
Uh

00:58:49.30
Bill
On the same lines, right? And i by my question to you, Mike, um is do you agree with that 100% or do you agree with that at all?

00:58:58.35
Mike
Oh, I 100%. Yes, silence is golden.

00:59:03.56
Bill
It is, isn't it?

00:59:03.73
Mike
Quiet is good. Yes, absolutely. you know and And don't break that silence unless you have something to make it better. Yes, if you can't, shut the fuck up.

00:59:12.33
Bill
Right.

00:59:16.34
Mike
I know. I mean the society, I mean, you know, people talk just to fucking talk. They're not saying anything. It's, it's drives me nuts and it's getting worse.

00:59:27.07
Bill
Right.

00:59:27.23
Mike
You know, I mean, people are yammering into their phones. I see it all the time. There's just fucking nothing. It's like, what are you doing? God sit and be quiet for a minute, man.

00:59:38.48
Mike
you know, not just for me, but for yourself, you know, sit there and just be quiet and listen to the world, not all the bullshit, you know, listen to your heartbeat, listen to your breath.

00:59:41.82
Bill
Right.

00:59:51.47
Mike
That's, that's meditation. Again, we're not going to, you know, we're not the type who are going to let a little incense and cross our legs and go, um, It's just not going to happen, you know, but, you know, I mean, I will go shit.

01:00:01.23
Bill
Right.

01:00:05.92
Mike
Sometimes I'll go a couple of hours driving with like nothing on, you know, no podcast, no radio, no, nothing. Just the sound of the fucking road and and me and my thoughts.

01:00:16.07
Mike
And it's wonderful. I love it.

01:00:19.29
Bill
Right.

01:00:19.42
Mike
Yeah. You know, I don't, you know, I mean, yes, I like to listen to stuff and I like to listen to new information and blah, blah, blah and entertainment and whatever, but sometimes just this listen to the home of the road, man. It's okay.

01:00:33.04
Bill
Right, yeah, i think you you and I were talking about that guy probably six, seven months ago, i because I know when I was, I said that when I was doing all this driving and stuff like that, um I listened to, I still listen to music, don't get me wrong, but I listen to music usually more on the the short drives when I go to get pizza or the grocery store or that sort of thing.

01:00:37.71
Mike
this

01:00:40.33
Mike
Right. Right.

01:00:49.16
Mike
right

01:00:51.41
Bill
When I'm out driving, I do i listen to a lot of podcasts, I listen to audiobooks, oh, remind me about by the new audiobook I've been listening to. to um You know, so all that stuff, but yeah, there's certain times that I'm like,

01:00:57.45
Mike
yeah All right.

01:01:01.14
Bill
even if i'm I'm enjoying it, whoever the whatever the band is, whoever the person is, I'm just like, I can't fucking listen to this shit anymore.

01:01:04.26
Mike
isn Right.

01:01:08.65
Bill
You know, and I do, I turn it off and done, um you know, because I just can't I can't stand it. I just need quiet for a minute, you know.

01:01:13.31
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:01:16.04
Bill
And the other thing, too, and I think I told you when I first started um this job, so back in February, and I think for the first couple of weeks, because I used to have my all my notifications on for Instagram.

01:01:28.47
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:01:28.82
Bill
And even though our Our page isn't as active as it was maybe a year ago.

01:01:32.99
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:34.68
Bill
um It's still active.

01:01:36.05
Mike
Sure.

01:01:36.67
Bill
you know And it was just while I'm working, it just got distracting. you know So I turned off, um I turned all my Instagram notifications, I turned off.

01:01:39.85
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:45.08
Mike
Right.

01:01:45.43
Bill
I mean, I'll go in, um, you know, when I take a break at 10, I, you know, when I'm, when I'm done eating lunch, I'll pop on there for a minute.

01:01:52.24
Mike
Right.

01:01:52.58
Bill
I'll take a break at three and then sometimes I'll pop in at five. And then I will look at Instagram and, you know, just kind of maybe, you know, like a couple of things that people commented on type of thing, um, or if they liked or whatever it is.

01:02:06.10
Bill
But I usually, um, I don't. I don't always post every time during the afternoon, but I do, because I'm ah more, a little bit more podcast heavy these days, which you probably noticed, because I'm trying to push that.

01:02:16.85
Mike
ah

01:02:18.01
Bill
I mean, I still throw the beams in there, because that kind of keeps people coming back, but I don't need to post 17 memes a day. I'm trying to keep people, you know, get more of this out there, because this is ah there's a point to this, you know?

01:02:24.02
Mike
Right.

01:02:26.86
Mike
sir Right.

01:02:28.88
Bill
But I don't post on Instagram, um maybe, I don't do one at five, sometimes a little bit, maybe after dinner, but rarely.

01:02:37.99
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:02:38.36
Bill
And then I'll look at it at night and I'll leave it be, you know?

01:02:40.42
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:41.04
Bill
And it's been it's been huge. Turning off the notifications um was fucking huge.

01:02:44.61
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:02:46.16
Bill
And not even just because I was working, but um it was just like, you know, this thing going, hey there, hey there, hey there, hey there, hey there, hey there, hey there, hey there.

01:02:46.64
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:52.31
Mike
Right. Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke.

01:02:55.60
Bill
Fucking look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.

01:02:57.71
Mike
Right.

01:02:58.33
Bill
I'm like, fuck me.

01:02:59.83
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:00.41
Bill
um look at you anymore right now. um But then he then the other thing too and you know maybe it's not that long but you know at certain times just even when you know I'll go outside whether ah I'm at Kathy's house or whether one of these other places that I'm that I'm at you know I'll go outside I'll hit my vape a little bit and I'll just sit there and I'll listen you know.

01:03:13.96
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:03:17.83
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

01:03:18.76
Bill
And I i mean, I'll pop on my phone, maybe look at the weather, do whatever, depending on the thing. But sometimes I just i just sit there like like, this Christ, when you walk out out here at night, I'm like, Jesus Christ, that's like a fucking symphony of bugs.

01:03:26.36
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right.

01:03:31.38
Bill
you know I mean, not getting on you, but the noises.

01:03:33.46
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:33.93
Bill
you know And I'm just like, this is fucking weird, but really fucking cool.

01:03:33.93
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:37.14
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:03:38.17
Bill
you know you know and I don't know yeah like you say it's just it's really fucking dark I get a little bit of light from the windows behind me and I'm just like goddamn you know I just said I want I there's chairs you know little rocking chairs out there um I'll sit down one of the chairs you know after dinner or something like that just fucking stare you just be yeah yeah

01:03:50.31
Mike
Yeah. All right. Mm hmm. Yeah. Just be and enjoy being. Yes. Yeah. It's fucking nice, isn't it?

01:04:02.95
Bill
yeah But yeah, like you said, the, and people do, you know, the the thing with this, and I know 100% why people break silence because they're uncomfortable.

01:04:13.27
Bill
You know, they're uncomfortable with their own, um in their own skin, they're uncomfortable with silence, they're uncomfortable with being by themselves.

01:04:14.33
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:04:19.80
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:04:20.14
Bill
um And I think, you know, part of it is, is I think this generation, you know, but God, I look at somebody like like Derek, and I mean, Derek is just not, he's not really, and for anyone, that's my son, and he's 23, you know, he'll be 24 in October.

01:04:31.34
Mike
Right. Right. Mm hmm.

01:04:34.04
Bill
um He's, don't get me wrong, he's on his phone, he creeps on things and shit like that, but he's just not as, is out there as his kids his age and just not as drawn in by to the point where sometimes it's a little frustrating.

01:04:36.99
Mike
Sure. Bye.

01:04:42.16
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:04:47.50
Bill
I know you're listening to this, my son, where I send you a fucking text and I can't finally add a call you.

01:04:48.14
Mike
<unk>y

01:04:53.33
Bill
Hey, how you doing? Did you see ah the 12 texts that I sent you? Oh yeah, sorry, I meant to get back to you.

01:04:58.61
Mike
ahha

01:04:59.18
Bill
I'm like, who the fuck are you, a 70 year old man? Jesus Christ.

01:05:01.38
Mike
he Right.

01:05:03.47
Bill
Eh, I saw it on my telephone. I've meant to get back to you.

01:05:07.31
Mike
Right.

01:05:07.59
Bill
But but seriously, most people um just, they don't know what to do with the fucking silence, you know?

01:05:14.41
Mike
Yeah, I know. man, get, get used to it, man. Again, like anything else, you know, it's a, it's a muscle. You got to work out, work that muscle of doing nothing.

01:05:23.62
Bill
Right.

01:05:24.12
Mike
Yeah.

01:05:25.16
Bill
And it's I'm, I'm still, I'll be honest with you.

01:05:27.06
Mike
It's.

01:05:27.45
Bill
I'm, I'm bad at just ah sitting still. Sometimes I have to make is, is much of an effort. And I know I talk about it is I need to remind myself to be grateful. Sometimes I need to remind myself just to sit and do nothing.

01:05:38.71
Bill
But I mean, if, if nothing else, I'll give myself a little bit of credit that I understand that I have a problem with that. um and And I do I force myself again turn the TV off put the phone down um Sit down and you know, I'll sit down and just I'm just gonna sit down and watch a fucking movie Or I'm gonna sit down and watch an hour-long TV show and I'm not gonna fuck with my phone I'm doing I'm gonna sit here my feet kicked up in my arms crossed even Maybe either fucking drumstick and I'm just gonna look at this stupid fucking electronic box and that's my little chill time You know, that's it, you know

01:05:49.03
Mike
Yep. Yep. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

01:06:12.00
Mike
Yeah.

01:06:14.81
Bill
So there.

01:06:15.56
Mike
Yes, exactly. That's why I like baseball so much. Just, just yeah.

01:06:18.94
Bill
yeah that's That's a good point. you know And that that is one thing with, ah um ah you and I were watching the game while I was there.

01:06:25.07
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:06:25.18
Bill
And it's not that I haven't watched game but baseball games on TV.

01:06:28.07
Mike
Right.

01:06:28.22
Bill
Not a huge fan you know of doing that, but um um nothing wrong.

01:06:29.67
Mike
Oh, right.

01:06:31.45
Bill
I like going to the ballpark. I like the atmosphere and just the peacefulness of it and and that sort of thing. But um yeah, I mean, God, that's a great example, you know watching watching a baseball game kind of i mean completely laid back for the most part.

01:06:39.03
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yep.

01:06:43.18
Bill
right

01:06:43.51
Mike
Yeah, right. Exactly. Yes, it's it's slow and it's it's pastoral and it's fucking wonderful. I love it. You know, I mean, I I don't watch basketball. I'll occasionally watch hockey.

01:06:55.31
Mike
um I watched a little more football last year because the Lions were actually good. um But I mean, there was a couple of years there where I shit I'd maybe watch two games the whole season for a while there.

01:07:08.03
Bill
Right.

01:07:08.28
Mike
I mean, I just whatever, man, I don't fucking care.

01:07:12.30
Bill
Right.

01:07:12.25
Mike
Yeah, but baseball, you know, I've probably, I mean, we're in the season, I've probably watched shit, 50 games this year.

01:07:21.39
Bill
Really.

01:07:21.85
Mike
Yeah, yeah, you know, just have it on. And, you know, I mean, I will i'll look at my phone and stuff while I'm doing it. But yeah, you know, it's slow. It's nice. It's it's peaceful. I love it.

01:07:32.59
Bill
Right. Yeah, that's the thing that I mean, you know, I, in, I would never, you know, whether it's you or anyone else say, Why don't you watch more football?

01:07:42.67
Bill
You should do this, do that.

01:07:42.84
Mike
Get.

01:07:44.11
Bill
I never do that because I don't care. People do what they want to do. But I do. I like to sit down on a Sunday afternoon or a Thursday night or whatever it is.

01:07:50.46
Mike
Right.

01:07:52.35
Bill
That's my thing. That's great for me. I enjoy i enjoy it. know

01:07:56.16
Mike
Yeah.

01:07:57.19
Bill
Um, but I also understand that that it's not for everyone, you know, and I would never, I would never sit there and be like, well, fuck, don't you watch a lot of football?

01:08:00.79
Mike
Right.

01:08:05.05
Bill
Why do you do this?

01:08:05.07
Mike
he Right.

01:08:06.27
Bill
What are you fucking stupid? You know, I mean, who cares? I mean, you know, it may be, I like broccoli and you don't, or somebody likes this and they don't, you know, fuck them.

01:08:11.12
Mike
Uh huh.

01:08:13.83
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:08:15.41
Bill
It is just whatever, whatever makes a guy happy. Right. You know?

01:08:17.66
Mike
Absolutely.

01:08:20.48
Bill
But um okay, God, I had another and another one I just saw in front of me here. Yeah, fuck, I can't figure out which one. um Oh, from this was from a Day at a Time.

01:08:33.19
Bill
That's that's one of the books that you, yeah, a book that you do not read. Okay. May I recognize the emotions I am feeling for what they are?

01:08:38.91
Mike
Hmm.

01:08:41.68
Bill
If I am unable to put to point them out to myself, May I count on others who know what it's like to be a feelings sufferer. That last part is kind of a stupid way to put it, but I think the main point is may I recognize the emotions I'm feeling for what they are if I'm unable, um counting on others for help. Do you ever, ever do that? Or I mean, have you done that e even in recent years where yeah I don't know.

01:09:07.69
Bill
You've got something going on. You can't figure out what's going on. If you reached out to somebody and said that you know and this is what um whatever happened, I don't know what's what's going on type of thing.

01:09:12.15
Mike
Hmm

01:09:17.01
Bill
I don't know.

01:09:17.11
Mike
Hmm Now

01:09:17.79
Bill
We're not big ones on the feelings, but you know what I mean, right?

01:09:21.39
Mike
right? I mean, yes, if, if there's, you know, a situation that's causing me some negative, whatever. um Yes, I will certainly talk with someone about it. um Thankfully, there's not a whole lot of that in my life anymore. ah Mostly by design.

01:09:40.72
Mike
um

01:09:41.52
Bill
ah

01:09:43.32
Mike
you know And a lot of byproduct of, again, you know doing this thing, man. um Don't have a lot of stress and anxiety and you know all that good stuff. ah ah Yes. um Read that first line again.

01:10:00.20
Bill
um May I recognize the emotions I'm feeling for what they are?

01:10:02.35
Mike
Yeah.

01:10:05.08
Mike
Right. Uh, you know what? Yes. I recognize the emotions I'm feeling for what they are. Fucking bullshit. They're going to change in the next two goddamn minutes.

01:10:16.85
Mike
Um, don't focus. Don't run my life on how I'm feeling in this moment. Cause guess what? I'm going to feel fucking differently in the next moment because I'm going to feel differently after that moment.

01:10:25.33
Bill
yeah

01:10:28.52
Mike
Um, yes, I recognize my emotions as bullshit.

01:10:35.05
Bill
Right.

01:10:35.17
Mike
Uh, right. They are. Oh, oh, I need to validate my feelings. No, I don't. I don't need the hell I do. My feelings again, again are going to change. They constantly change. They're always going to constantly change. Why would I focus my life and put all my eggs in that basket?

01:10:57.42
Mike
when it's going to change because it always changes.

01:10:59.49
Bill
right

01:11:01.08
Mike
That's stupid. What I'm going to focus on are principles. And, you know, yeah again, you know, the simple ones to the next great thing, be a good boy. I like good stuff.

01:11:11.53
Mike
yeah I'm tired. I'm lonely. I'm angry. I'm hungry. I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, some of those things we can fix, you know, I'm hungry. Fucking eat something. Um, you know, I'm angry.

01:11:23.68
Mike
Why the fuck am I so scared?

01:11:26.14
Bill
Right.

01:11:26.14
Mike
Ah, right.

01:11:28.68
Bill
Yeah.

01:11:29.71
Mike
You know, um and again, you know, I'm angry. That's going to fucking go away in a couple of minutes, too. i yeah Right. I need to validate my feelings. No, I fucking don't. um That's how I lived my life before and whether to get me bottom of fucking bottle laying in a bag.

01:11:47.99
Mike
um yeah you know ah Because my feelings, I needed to control and shape my, ability validate my, day no, no.

01:11:52.49
Bill
Right.

01:11:57.38
Mike
I need to be honest and pure and loving and and kind and and yes, you know, and and fuck. And the rest of it is gonna be different in two goddamn seconds.

01:12:10.04
Mike
So, no, I'm not gonna focus on that. I'm not gonna, my feelings are my feelings. My feelings are gonna change. So, right, move on.

01:12:16.42
Bill
Right.

01:12:19.25
Bill
Yeah, you know what, I was just thinking about something um is that so much of like when you said, you know, angry, lonely, tired, blah, blah, blah, hungry.

01:12:26.95
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:12:27.80
Bill
um I think that a lot of our a lot of our feelings are self-imposed.

01:12:33.98
Mike
Oh, oh God, yes.

01:12:35.81
Bill
um you know it's i God, I'm fucking hungry. Well, did you eat today? No? Okay.

01:12:41.43
Mike
ah

01:12:41.52
Bill
um um I'm really fucking tired. Well, did you get any did you get decent sleep?

01:12:43.80
Mike
Yeah. What time did you go to bed last night?

01:12:45.60
Bill
No?

01:12:46.60
Mike
Right.

01:12:46.73
Bill
Yeah.

01:12:46.96
Mike
Did you stay up all goddamn night scrolling on your phone?

01:12:47.60
Bill
um yeah Right?

01:12:50.23
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:12:50.80
Bill
Yeah, um um I'm angry. Like you said, what are you scared at? Or um you know are you are you angry because of the two other things you just said, you you didn't eat and you didn't sleep well.

01:12:53.89
Mike
Uh huh.

01:13:00.04
Mike
Right.

01:13:00.82
Bill
Those two things will make me angry.

01:13:02.42
Mike
Oh, yeah.

01:13:02.78
Bill
They'll make me crabby if nothing else.

01:13:04.73
Mike
Exactly.

01:13:05.85
Bill
You know, or the other thing too is, I mean, what do you what are you angry at? Like you said, are you scared or are you blowing something out of proportion? You know, this this thing that's out there in front of you, um this perceived situation that you're that you're mad at or scared of when we really, because we always talk about, oh, it's always fear-based, which still blows my mind that we, again, we didn't figure it out, but I've i've had more of a revelation to that with that over the last couple of years doing this, that I can i could almost pinpoint all of this shit to fear, which is crazy to me.

01:13:12.22
Mike
Right.

01:13:19.00
Mike
Uh huh. Right. No. Mm hmm.

01:13:35.06
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:13:35.64
Bill
um in a good way, you know, because it's it's an eye opener, you know, um it's a it's a whole and nother tool to deal with my with my own bullshit, you know.

01:13:37.02
Mike
Right. Yes.

01:13:42.01
Mike
Yes. Mm-hmm.

01:13:44.90
Bill
um But there are times when You know, I'm just, I'm running through the day and things are good. And I got a decent amount of sleep. I ate my lunch. I did all these different things. And then I have this like this mental crash, you know?

01:13:56.56
Mike
Right.

01:13:57.20
Bill
And I think we were talking about this a few weeks ago. I remember Ohio came up, but um then literally I'm saying, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

01:14:04.42
Mike
right

01:14:04.59
Bill
You know? And I'm like, ah two minutes ago, you're in your head. You're like, you're fucking dancing. You're, you know, yeah, you're doing all this stuff.

01:14:09.43
Mike
La la la.

01:14:11.47
Bill
You're snapping your fingers and you just hit a fucking wall or you dumped into a crater.

01:14:12.56
Mike
Yup.

01:14:16.51
Bill
And we we figured out what it was, at least I think I know what it is, is that's my default, you know.

01:14:16.45
Mike
Yeah.

01:14:21.55
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:14:22.24
Bill
For whatever reason, in my head, I stopped doing the work for a minute and I fell, which is so fucking stupid.

01:14:27.72
Mike
Yup.

01:14:30.96
Bill
I'm like a shark. I always got to keep swimming. I always got to keep working. I'm like, OK, stay happy, not stay happy. But you know what?

01:14:36.78
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:14:37.36
Bill
Keep working, keep working, keep working, keep working.

01:14:39.87
Mike
Yeah, be grateful, be grateful.

01:14:40.14
Bill
And then all of a sudden, I take a break, rest my arms, and float in my fucking mental health crashed.

01:14:47.13
Mike
a Right.

01:14:48.88
Bill
Like, dude, get back up.

01:14:52.37
Bill
So.

01:14:52.40
Mike
Keep fucking pedaling.

01:14:53.88
Bill
Right, but I mean that again revelation a few weeks ago on when we thought we were talking about that I'm like like Jesus Christ That's my my default is to be flat out in a fucking crater.

01:15:00.56
Mike
Yup.

01:15:03.22
Bill
I get to work all the time I was gonna be climbing out of this fucking thing um Which again is fucking mind-blowing, you know um But but yeah, I mean that the feelings part of it we all have them but I think they're you know, they're they're self-imposed they're they're all caused and but like you said and I think it's so important that you say it all the time that

01:15:03.42
Mike
Yup. Mm hmm.

01:15:08.76
Mike
Right.

01:15:14.78
Mike
Of course. Yeah.

01:15:21.78
Bill
They're temporary.

01:15:22.72
Mike
Yes.

01:15:23.00
Bill
No matter how good, bad, or indifferent they are, they're fucking temporary.

01:15:25.17
Mike
Yes. Yup.

01:15:28.78
Bill
I feel really good right now.

01:15:29.02
Mike
Exactly.

01:15:30.38
Bill
Yeah, well, wait five minutes.

01:15:31.76
Mike
Yeah. Right. It's like the weather in Ohio.

01:15:34.45
Bill
Yeah, exactly. But but I want to keep feeling good. Well, did keep keep doing the work.

01:15:38.31
Mike
Yeah.

01:15:39.36
Bill
Happiness is a byproduct.

01:15:40.06
Mike
Right.

01:15:40.76
Bill
Have you listened to us?

01:15:40.70
Mike
Exactly.

01:15:41.88
Bill
Have you listened to us before? before

01:15:43.48
Mike
Exactly and remember that time in your life, you know those years and decades that you were trying to feel good all the time How'd that work out for you asshole?

01:15:52.81
Bill
Right, right. Yeah, it's ah it probably didn't, probably didn't at all.

01:15:56.65
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:15:58.06
Bill
Not even probably. it I know for a fact, note to self, it did not work out.

01:15:59.78
Mike
Oh, yeah sure as hell not didn't work for me Right

01:16:05.60
Bill
yeah Don't do that again.

01:16:11.43
Bill
ah All right. So this was a, this was a passing thought. God only knows when I wrote this down, but I don't know that I ever asked you this question.

01:16:15.86
Mike
Mm-hm.

01:16:18.30
Bill
So, um, in the beginning, when we, I don't know, however long call it the first, let's call it the first 30 days, uh, if the Keating center, cause those are the, those are the raw times, I would say, um, did you ever consider walking out or leaving?

01:16:26.10
Mike
All right, they're out.

01:16:34.30
Mike
ah and I mean, probably all the time and probably not at all.

01:16:43.68
Bill
ah Once again, I can always count on you. that that That answer, it's always, it's different based on whatever question, but you give me both scenarios and it make me fucking laugh every time because it's the most honest answer that you could give.

01:16:55.53
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:16:56.38
Bill
And and I agree with it. That's the problem.

01:16:58.27
Mike
Yes, exactly.

01:16:58.46
Bill
I agree.

01:16:59.81
Mike
all Yeah, you know, yes, constantly, and but it was never, No, but I knew I knew deep down that that what I was doing was the right fucking thing to do. um Despite my uncomfortability.

01:17:17.85
Mike
ah Yeah, you know, it was it was yeah, i again, all the time and and not really.

01:17:17.96
Bill
Right.

01:17:24.05
Mike
um No, I knew it was I had to do it. I didn't know what I had to do, but I knew I had to do it. So I stayed there.

01:17:32.97
Bill
Right. Yeah. And you know what, when, uh, when I, when I wrote that down and again, I didn't, I, I didn't think about it too much, but I know my answer. I mean, when, when I first, the, when I was first dropped off, obviously didn't want to stay.

01:17:44.91
Bill
I literally said I would give it one day. You know, it wasn't this poignant, poignant moment of, uh, you know, the one day at a time bullshit.

01:17:47.39
Mike
Yep.

01:17:50.57
Mike
Right.

01:17:50.87
Bill
I literally was, I was gonna, I was gonna assess my situation the next day and, you know, probably fucking leave. That's, that was my thought.

01:17:58.23
Mike
Sure.

01:17:59.15
Bill
Um, I remember falling asleep and I know I said it before on here probably a long time ago, but Um, you know, I was in a lower bunk down in what was I in?

01:18:07.42
Mike
You were down to B. Yeah.

01:18:09.45
Bill
Yeah, you were in a, I was in B.

01:18:10.26
Mike
I was an A. Yeah.

01:18:11.77
Bill
Um, yeah. So in, in B dorm down downstairs and, um, my, my bunk, I was in lower of a bunk bed and kind of closest, close ish to the door.

01:18:22.83
Bill
And I remember laying on my right hand side. I didn't even, I took my shoes off. I just laid down in my clothes. um And right above the door was an exit sign and I, I laid there and I stared at that sign wanting to leave, um you know, but didn't know what to do when that's how I fell asleep.

01:18:32.40
Mike
Yeah Right

01:18:40.31
Bill
And from, from that point forward,

01:18:40.74
Mike
right if

01:18:43.67
Bill
um I don't think, I don't remember ever having the thought of leaving, because now that I, now looking back on it, um I think I knew that I didn't know what to do, and I think I knew I didn't know where to go, you know?

01:18:50.93
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Right.

01:18:58.05
Bill
And it, whatever it was that, you know, that survival instinct, I had nobody to, and at that point, that was the other thing too, I had nobody to turn to, no, it's not like I could call Kathy, call mom, call anyone, be like, hey, float me a couple of bucks, you know?

01:19:06.43
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

01:19:12.94
Bill
no that that

01:19:13.43
Mike
I'm going to catch a cab.

01:19:15.87
Bill
that that ship had not only sailed but sunk you know that you know that that ship was fucking gone you know so I did I had no place to go and you know the nobody would want me there anyhow you know

01:19:18.09
Mike
Uh huh. Oh, yeah.

01:19:21.74
Mike
Yes.

01:19:25.01
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. And they didn't call it the last house on the block for nothing.

01:19:28.12
Bill
So I, right. Right. But, uh, I seriously, with the exception of that first night, I don't think I ever had, although back to what you said. Yeah, I'm sure I got, I got pissed off and you know, fucking Marty and you know, this, this fucking rules and, you know, in my, in my head, shaking my fist at the world.

01:19:38.33
Mike
Hmm. Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. Yep.

01:19:47.87
Bill
And while I'll tell you, man,

01:19:48.25
Mike
Right. All these motherfuckers farting and burping and yeah, assholes.

01:19:54.33
Bill
Yeah, but you know what, I mean, is is funny.

01:19:55.03
Mike
Yep.

01:19:58.88
Bill
It wasn't, I mean, it was what it was. I mean, looking back now, it's like, Jesus Christ, man. You know, I wouldn't, obviously clearly wouldn't want to go back there. You know, that's why part of the reason I haven't, I never picked up a drinking egg, because I don't want to go back there.

01:20:06.12
Mike
No.

01:20:10.64
Mike
Right.

01:20:11.63
Bill
I don't care about helping myself and living and being good to other people.

01:20:14.02
Mike
Oh yeah.

01:20:14.77
Bill
I just don't want to go back to the fucking Keating Center.

01:20:16.62
Mike
Right.

01:20:18.72
Bill
Not not completely true, but part of.

01:20:20.70
Mike
Oh, I used to tell the guys in group all the time.

01:20:21.06
Bill
um

01:20:22.86
Mike
I love this place. I don't ever want to fucking spend the night here again.

01:20:26.08
Bill
Right, right, but to but you know what, I mean, I don't know, again, the the only thing that I can ever go back to is is much of a fucking whiny, pissy little bitch that I was when I when i first went in there, um there had to have been something in me that that glimmer of hope, that glimmer of faith, that little glimmer of willingness, um all that shit was there someplace.

01:20:39.38
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah.

01:20:49.48
Bill
And whether it came from me or just came from these these wonderful guys that were around us

01:20:54.73
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:20:55.30
Bill
Um, whether they knew it or not, you know, or they were just doing what they were taught in it.

01:20:56.81
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:20:58.98
Bill
Uh, fuck it. That that's, that's what these people do, you know?

01:21:01.79
Mike
Yup.

01:21:03.45
Bill
So yeah, it was just great.

01:21:04.47
Mike
Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, again, yes. Why did the goddamn leave so bad? But yeah, knew that this was the right thing to do, whatever the fuck it was.

01:21:17.93
Mike
And so, yeah, did it.

01:21:18.24
Bill
Right.

01:21:19.82
Mike
Still am sort of. a

01:21:22.44
Bill
Yeah, just just not literally, not specifically at the Keating Center, right?

01:21:26.10
Mike
Right. That's right.

01:21:29.08
Bill
There was a, yeah and i I fucking forgot to look it up. I'm obviously not gonna look it up now. They had a, it was, long story, they were doing a replay on the the morning show this morning for whatever reason.

01:21:40.27
Bill
And they had this article about um states that swore the most.

01:21:41.48
Mike
Hmm.

01:21:45.73
Bill
um And I think, God, where was it? Was it?

01:21:49.28
Mike
Hmm.

01:21:49.93
Bill
I keep wanting to say Minnesota, which was, I could be wrong on that, but I'm like, I got to look this up. That'd be a great, great thing to bring up in the podcast. I was going to write it down for next week, obviously, because we're supposed to, so is that Dr.

01:21:59.27
Mike
Right.

01:22:00.72
Bill
Sarah tonight, but, um, I dunno, it's just, uh, I'll have to look that up.

01:22:01.27
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:22:03.98
Bill
Maybe we can talk about it, you know, at some point, but, uh,

01:22:06.70
Mike
Yeah.

01:22:07.49
Bill
I don't know, you know, all in all, what the fuck? I mean, we had that, you know, on the technology issue and, you know, Dr. Sarah, um once again, no worries to her.

01:22:13.51
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:15.24
Bill
We're not, we're not angry. She had no reason to be, you know, be sorry or anything like that.

01:22:17.66
Mike
God know no. Nope.

01:22:20.22
Bill
um It might be, yeah, seriously, as we're thinking about it now, it might be the, you know, the middle ish of September, you know, till we have her back back or have her back on, but um it'll be worth the wait.

01:22:24.37
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:29.83
Bill
So.

01:22:30.17
Mike
Yeah, absolutely, yeah. We'll still be here and so will she.

01:22:34.33
Bill
Yeah, ka ummba I don't know. I i think that i obviously we're, I know we're both looking forward to the conversation.

01:22:39.31
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:39.73
Bill
She's just, she's a lot of fucking fun. But um yeah, it was funny when she had, when I text her earlier and back and forth and then finally text her that you were good to go early. She's like, okay, good. And then I don't know, probably an hour later she texted me and she's like, so, you know, is there like, like specific topics we're going to talk about or are we just going to wing it?

01:22:57.57
Mike
He's a wingit.

01:22:57.84
Bill
And I said, I said, wing it. I'm like, I know we're going to talk about the book. We're going to talk about your podcast.

01:23:01.91
Mike
Right.

01:23:03.37
Bill
But I said, other than that, I'd like, don't even worry about it. I said, well, I said, you don't need to bring anything, anything.

01:23:05.40
Mike
Right.

01:23:08.13
Bill
Just it it'll be a conversation. That's it.

01:23:10.05
Mike
right

01:23:10.17
Bill
You know, so, but she's just fun. I mean, I know she wants to be, she wants to be prepared and and all those sort of things. And again, it's the, the, the recording would have been terrible had we been able to try to try put it together without having the right equipment for herself.

01:23:23.57
Mike
Right. So ah we shouldn't try to force things. It's just going to be bad. We will give it time and do it when it's supposed to happen.

01:23:31.35
Bill
Right, you know what, and it's not the, this might be, we might've had one other, no, this might be the first time that we've actually had had a guest that then you and I just went on and did it.

01:23:40.53
Mike
Yeah.

01:23:41.70
Bill
We had, again, little Dicky is the one that obviously canceled on us a couple of days prior, but you know, so we promoted him up through like Wednesday or something like that.

01:23:43.84
Mike
this this business Right.

01:23:50.21
Bill
But um yeah, this might be the first time that we had that happen, but you know, fuck it, it's, we always get shit to talk about, that's all that matters.

01:23:54.88
Mike
We do.

01:23:55.80
Bill
Oh, speaking of Dicky, did I tell you what road this place is on?

01:23:59.97
Mike
No.

01:24:01.39
Bill
Guess the word that I just said, little, it's Dickie Road.

01:24:03.39
Mike
Well, I don't know. Little Dicky. Dicky Road. Ah.

01:24:11.62
Bill
And you know what, from from the first time that once i once you book it on Airbnb is when they obviously give you the address, um I meant to bring it up to you this entire time and I completely fucking forgot.

01:24:13.18
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:24:20.78
Bill
And then um I thought about it, I think just yesterday, I'm like, I never fucking told, how could I never told him about that? We've talked about Little Dickey like two or three times since I booked this place, but yeah, it's on fucking Dickey Road.

01:24:34.20
Bill
It's just great.

01:24:34.25
Mike
Tiki road. All right.

01:24:35.36
Bill
Yep.

01:24:36.07
Mike
Well, her I mean, uh, yeah, we're probably pretty close to done.

01:24:38.15
Bill
on that note. But i you know what, I think unless, I don't know, you got you get a bunch of other stuff to talk about or are we done? I think we're done.

01:24:47.78
Mike
Um, right. You know, uh, if you're listening to this on Saturday, carve out a little time next Friday night, uh, w JCU dot.org. You can listen to me play my horrible heavy metal music and a little punk rock and some rock and roll thrown in for fun.

01:25:04.62
Bill
Yeah. And if you need, uh, if you need the link, um, it is on our website under our sponsor, the section of our, uh, of our website sponsor page.

01:25:11.66
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:25:13.40
Bill
Um, I'll move it up tonight, but, um, well, actually by the time you hear this, it'll be moved up. It's just sponsor page. You'll see it bikes, picture WGC, whatever it is, click through that takes you to the radio station or you said tune in.

01:25:21.58
Mike
Yep.

01:25:25.13
Bill
Is it it's through the tune in app also.

01:25:26.50
Mike
It's on tune in.

01:25:27.07
Bill
Right.

01:25:27.54
Mike
There's a, and W JCU also has their own app.

01:25:31.05
Bill
Okay.

01:25:31.16
Mike
So if you go to your Google play store or whatever the Apple one is or whatever, uh, punch in W JCU university, John Carroll, John Carroll university.

01:25:43.28
Mike
Yeah. And, uh, you know, you'll find it.

01:25:46.87
Bill
Yep, absolutely. So yeah, enjoy ah enjoy that next week. And yeah, you and I will talk on on Thursday, but we'll promote this one more little time and then you'll promote it all week.

01:25:52.74
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:25:55.80
Bill
And we'll have a bunch of shit up on Instagram and Facebook and get that stuff all done, right?

01:25:58.98
Mike
Huh.

01:26:01.35
Mike
Right.

01:26:02.35
Bill
Cool.

01:26:02.60
Mike
Oh, you know what? One thing I did forget to tell you, um, this week, um, the president of our company was in our office on a Wednesday.

01:26:12.47
Bill
Really?

01:26:12.96
Mike
Yeah.

01:26:13.29
Bill
Yeah.

01:26:13.62
Mike
Yeah. And I mean, D big Kahuna, these,

01:26:16.49
Bill
I was just going to say that the largest wig in the organization.

01:26:18.94
Mike
Yes, exactly. The biggest wig. Yes. Yes. Uh, the CEO of JB Hunt was, was, I got to meet her. Uh, very nice, lovely lady.

01:26:29.91
Mike
Yeah. Shelly Simpson is her name. Um, you know, it's not a secret. It's, you know, Google that shit. It's, it's everywhere. Yeah. But yes, the actual CEO that runs this billion dollar company sat there and shot the shit with this lowly little drunk.

01:26:37.35
Bill
Right.

01:26:45.44
Mike
So

01:26:47.31
Bill
So what was what was she in town for, just?

01:26:49.24
Mike
Uh, she's apparently going all over the country, just checking in with everybody hanging out.

01:26:53.87
Bill
No shit.

01:26:54.94
Mike
Yup. She went and did a ride along for a couple hours with one of our drivers, one of the senior drivers, uh, 2 million miler. And, uh, which means he's driven 2 million miles without an accident.

01:27:08.23
Bill
Right.

01:27:08.71
Mike
And, uh, yeah, you know, it's hung out with us. It was pretty cool.

01:27:12.76
Bill
Wow, that is kinda cool.

01:27:13.44
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:14.92
Bill
so

01:27:14.90
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:15.57
Bill
Quick question, and I know you talked about like JB Hunt and you know the and I'll ask the question in a minute, but um you know i once again, when I listened to, again, speaking of the Tune and App, I listened to the morning shows, all these different ads.

01:27:16.38
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:27.56
Bill
So in for whatever reason, they're in Schneider is out of Green Bay, Wisconsin.

01:27:31.46
Mike
Right.

01:27:31.60
Bill
I don't know why I'm getting all the ads, you know, around here, but you know, all this type of Schneider and this and that they talk they keep saying, you know, one of the largest companies in the, in the industry.

01:27:38.25
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:27:40.44
Bill
But I know JB hunt, um, are, is it number one, number two or three, or how does that, do you know how it ranks?

01:27:40.65
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:46.70
Mike
Uh, I believe, I mean, like, uh, I think maybe FedEx or something. I don't know. I'm pretty sure we have the most trucks on the road.

01:27:57.32
Bill
Really? Okay.

01:27:57.77
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're, we're definitely top top three. Yeah. Big motherfucking company.

01:28:04.44
Bill
Okay. Right. And that's, that's what I thought you said. And I, I mean, Schneider is always, I always heard good things about Schneider over the years.

01:28:11.54
Mike
this is Right.

01:28:12.37
Bill
And I mean, again, they're based in Green Bay. So I mean, of course, you know, I've always heard a lot of them or a lot about them, you know, being in Wisconsin for those number of years, but it was just weird to get the Schneider commercials, but at the end of the hour, they talk about again, hiring truck drivers, blah, blah, blah.

01:28:15.55
Mike
Right.

01:28:24.67
Mike
ah

01:28:25.21
Bill
And they, they say one of the largest companies that just popped into my head and I was going to write it down. And so thank you for bringing that up. Cause I wanted to ask you,

01:28:30.88
Mike
Right.

01:28:32.19
Bill
I knew you talked about JV Hunt being in the top something. I could remember if it was top two, top three, or whatever it was.

01:28:35.23
Mike
bright

01:28:37.98
Bill
but

01:28:38.10
Mike
Yeah. Like I said, i'm I'm almost sure we have the most trucks on the road.

01:28:38.95
Bill
i

01:28:43.08
Bill
Right.

01:28:43.58
Mike
Yeah. You know, it's like FedEx is one of the biggest airlines, that kind of thing, you know, right.

01:28:47.96
Bill
Right.

01:28:48.96
Mike
You know, but yeah, we are. We're fucking huge.

01:28:52.22
Bill
Yeah. Well, I mean, and it's shit, I mean, i ah of course, I see the fucking JB Hunts everywhere. I mean, Schneider, I see around, but JB Hunt, I think I see i see around more.

01:28:56.85
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

01:29:01.38
Mike
Right.

01:29:01.76
Bill
um Just in, again, kicking around everywhere. I see you know fucking trucks all over the goddamn place, so.

01:29:04.18
Mike
Yes. Yep. Yep. Coast coast.

01:29:08.44
Bill
Right.

01:29:09.02
Mike
Yep. Yeah, you know, I love my company. Yeah, it's, you know, they treat me right. I can always use more money. I actually said that to the president.

01:29:18.23
Bill
That was perfect.

01:29:19.20
Mike
You know, because she, yeah, right. Well, she's like, yeah, so, you know, anything you would improve, blah, blah, blah. Well, we can always use a little more money. She's laughed.

01:29:28.28
Bill
yeah

01:29:28.44
Mike
Yeah, she'd pull her wallet out. God damn it.

01:29:33.68
Bill
Didn't give you a dollar for a soda or anything.

01:29:33.64
Mike
But right. There's two bucks. Go have a good time.

01:29:41.04
Bill
That would actually have been the best to be really fucking condescending if she was some some fucking bitch to be like, here, go buy us something nice.

01:29:44.74
Mike
Right. Right. Yes. Now, she was very sweet.

01:29:50.46
Bill
yeah Right.

01:29:52.25
Mike
And um yeah, well, you know, and we talked about, you know, I mean, the company JB Hunt is actually a person was he's passed, ah but he was a truck driver and he started his own company.

01:29:59.63
Bill
Right.

01:30:04.30
Mike
And Mrs. Hunt is still alive. And she was talking.

01:30:08.07
Bill
Is she really?

01:30:08.88
Mike
Yeah, she's like in her 90s.

01:30:10.73
Bill
Huh.

01:30:11.21
Mike
And yeah, she's still down by where the corporate headquarters are at. And she's like, Oh, yeah, I see Mrs. Hart, you know, a couple times, ah you know, every couple months or so, you know, blah, blah, blah. yes yeah Yeah. It's like, wow. All right, then.

01:30:26.46
Bill
Well, and I, I remembered you saying that it was a, um, whatever it was a few years ago, or it might've been on here that we were talking about it, but that it was that I didn't know that JB Hunt was a real person, but obviously I learned that from you, but that's, uh, I, I didn't know that there was, you know, still ah a spouse that was still alive.

01:30:31.39
Mike
Yeah.

01:30:35.99
Mike
yeah

01:30:41.98
Mike
Yup.

01:30:42.21
Bill
That's crazy. That's crazy.

01:30:43.12
Mike
Yup.

01:30:44.80
Bill
Hmm.

01:30:46.00
Mike
Yeah. Still around, you know, she's the wife of a truck driver and he did, uh, he did all right by her.

01:30:49.56
Bill
Right.

01:30:53.01
Bill
Yeah. Well, I would, I would think so. Yeah.

01:30:54.88
Mike
Yup.

01:30:55.23
Bill
But I mean, that's just, that's just cool though. Cause you do not see that much. Um, I don't hear about it that much anymore, especially these, these big corporations, you know, um, where you get an individual out there, um, you know, just, you know, kick it around and, and seeing people, you know, you may have some, some big meeting or some big video thing or whatever, but actually physically get out there and, uh, yeah, just, it doesn't happen anymore.

01:31:03.62
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Right. Yeah.

01:31:18.39
Bill
Cause he's died. Most companies, they just, they don't give a fuck. I mean, you know,

01:31:21.41
Mike
Exactly.

01:31:22.40
Bill
just churn people through yeah no that's uh that's cool and i'm glad you brought that up because that again since we talked about feelings that is a feel-good story it really all the shit that we talk about that is it's kind of nice

01:31:22.63
Mike
Yeah. Right. Yeah. No, it was ah it was very cool. So shout out to JB Hunt for, you know, caring about us little guys.

01:31:36.77
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah, it was nice. It was.

01:31:43.80
Mike
Yeah, like I said, this lonely fucking gutter drunk was standing there talking to the CEO of a billion dollar corporation. Yeah, kind of cool.

01:31:52.63
Bill
And she she didn't look at you side eyed like that last guy was at the at the cookout acting like you were like loaded up or something like that together.

01:32:00.93
Mike
No.

01:32:01.52
Bill
You're scratching your shoulder and eating your Doritos.

01:32:03.91
Mike
Yep. yeah Yeah, no, no, no, not at all.

01:32:08.34
Bill
All right, so that's that's better. That's more our style. Let's end on that.

01:32:15.94
Mike
and All right.

01:32:18.25
Bill
Your turn.

01:32:18.95
Mike
Oh, it's my turn. All right. Well, you know what? I got to pull something up here. Cause I got a little surprise for you kids. All right. it All right. Well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of sober, not mature.

01:32:33.61
Mike
So always be kind to each other, be good to each other, go out there and do something nice for somebody else this week. Don't tell anybody that you did it and fuck your feelings. All right, now, um this is from our pal, Colorado Gretchen.

01:32:48.93
Mike
who has been on this show. She sent this to me and I am gonna tell you to fuck off. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna change this a little bit, but here we go. From the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time to the ends of the earth, always and eternally, fuck you.

01:33:05.84
Mike
Now it's time now. It's time. It's time for you to fuck off and keep fucking off Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with the sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here Climb over that gate dream the impossible dream and keep fucking off forever Uh

01:33:22.67
Bill
so So yeah, I saw that on, obviously on Facebook. Yeah, that was G. We've had G on here twice. So look back at episodes with G.

01:33:27.93
Mike
-huh Uh-huh

01:33:29.31
Bill
So thank you, ah friend our friend, good friend G. But what I thought you were gonna do, I thought you were gonna read that. And then, you know, cause obviously it goes into your recorded version, but do both.

01:33:39.47
Mike
Ah.

01:33:40.28
Bill
Let's do both, do both of them every week. Fuck it. I mean, what does it take an extra four seconds?

01:33:43.99
Mike
Exactly.

01:33:44.27
Bill
Like it, again, maybe, yeah, let's run this past the board and see if it's okay.

01:33:47.77
Mike
ah

01:33:50.84
Bill
ah The beauty of of quote unquote owning, did it we do, we own a podcast.

01:33:54.87
Mike
Right. Owner operators.

01:33:59.25
Bill
Can't we, we own the fucking thing and we got to drive it.

01:34:03.70
Mike
That's right. I'm not only the president, but I'm a customer.

01:34:05.21
Bill
yeah

01:34:08.93
Bill
I'm not only the podcast owner, but I run my bullshit on here too.

01:34:13.51
Mike
That's right.

01:34:15.07
Bill
All right, man. I think we're done. So I love you, brother.

01:34:17.26
Mike
We are. I love you too.

01:34:19.57
Bill
I think we'll talk soon.

01:34:20.95
Mike
We shall.

01:34:22.24
Bill
Alrighty, bye.

01:34:23.56
Mike
Bye.