SoberNotMature - Episode 132 (Letting It Burn Itself Out)

00:00:01.62
Bill
all right everyone welcome once again to another episode of sober not mature and first of all we we're just doing some talking and we could bring it up here in a minute but first thing i thought literally coming into this as well two things you've got your radio gig tomorrow so by the time which is friday because we're recording on a thursday by the time people hear this i was gonna say well fuck it you missed it you know so

00:00:11.10
Mike
he

00:00:16.14
Mike
I do.

00:00:23.01
Mike
Yeah, you missed it. Exactly. I've been posting all goddamn week on Facebook and yeah, that's right. So don't ever.

00:00:28.78
Bill
Yeah, so Mike's been posting.

00:00:28.98
Mike
Yeah.

00:00:30.42
Bill
I've been putting it up on Instagram at least every other day, sometimes twice in a day, depending on what it is. So um yeah, mike Mike had a great time at his radio gig. He rocked he rocked his balls off.

00:00:37.96
Mike
He did.

00:00:41.37
Mike
Right. Wow.

00:00:42.47
Bill
he left ah He left his balls at the radio station for next year.

00:00:45.49
Mike
hi

00:00:48.36
Bill
but um and the the other thing I was thinking about is just just to kind of kind of in general I mean it just wears the fucking time went I mean it's it's oh it fucking September already I mean and then that kind of goes back to what you and I were talking about so we did a we did a normally we just talk about this shit on here and I guess now we're going to but um

00:00:58.81
Mike
Pretty much.

00:01:09.01
Bill
So if I could ask a long story short is I'm looking, I want to go down to someplace and be around, you know, cool fall foliage and stuff like that.

00:01:16.39
Mike
The foliage.

00:01:16.59
Bill
He had the faux, the faux lash.

00:01:21.23
Mike
Mhm.

00:01:21.34
Bill
West Virginia seems like one of the places. So Mike said, hey, when you go on, blah, blah, blah, this and that. So he is chairing at his home group. So he's like, hey, would you want to lead for me? um And to September and I'm like, yeah, we went back and forth. Obviously it works out. So first thing I said to him is I said, pencil be in it. You said.

00:01:39.30
Mike
I said, oh great, another pencil fucker. Because one of my other leads i said tentatively, absolutely. So I got to get hold of him this week and and and put him in pen bastard.

00:01:51.07
Mike
But yes.

00:01:51.26
Bill
Yeah. And then finally finally, I just said to Mike, I said, okay, write it down. Unless I'm dead, I'll be there. You know, so I said, I said a reminder the whole bit. I'll just spend that, spend that weekend in Cleveland, which, you know, cause again, cause I can, and then, uh, you know, it does, it gives me.

00:02:02.20
Mike
Yeah. Mm hmm.

00:02:06.85
Bill
And that's the whole point with this, you know, i I had no other trips planned, right?

00:02:09.81
Mike
Being a hobo.

00:02:11.93
Bill
Yeah, the the beauty of being a a homeless by choice and a hobo.

00:02:15.80
Mike
he

00:02:16.15
Bill
um I have no other trips planned right now. um Long story short, I was thinking about going to Arkansas for a couple of weeks, not probably not gonna, I'm not gonna do that. I just don't, I'd rather save it for something else, but um spend a little time with my kids the weekend before my birthday and all this different stuff.

00:02:27.24
Mike
Right.

00:02:31.98
Bill
But um it's nice, I mean, I was.

00:02:33.34
Mike
You were born. he

00:02:35.60
Bill
yeah my my dad didn't pull out. So and anyway we talked we've talked about that before.

00:02:37.72
Mike
Ah, we have.

00:02:41.37
Bill
And and hopefully, you know, our our mom led him, you know, so that all that good stuff.

00:02:44.44
Mike
ah

00:02:46.74
Bill
But um yeah, it's nice. I mean, the the main point, like I was telling Mike, is that um I try to figure out if there's anything that I, anywhere I need to be, because I don't really need to be anywhere.

00:02:56.04
Mike
Right.

00:02:56.46
Bill
um And then if there is, then I'm like, okay, cool. So I've got some, now I've got like, ah I don't know, like a bookmark type of thing, and I can plan around that.

00:03:00.60
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:03:03.90
Bill
So yeah, it's, it actually, you actually made my life easier.

00:03:04.31
Mike
yeah

00:03:06.97
Bill
But then again, yeah I know, surprisingly, but then I said to Mike, I'm like, you know, cause he said, thank you.

00:03:07.19
Mike
Wow.

00:03:10.71
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:03:12.64
Bill
I'm like, the whole thanks is on this side of the table. Then I said, well, basically what it comes down to is in we, i I believe this, if we are asked to lead, you know, maybe it means we need to.

00:03:23.32
Bill
And then I said to Mike, he tried to say something.

00:03:23.73
Mike
Right.

00:03:26.14
Bill
He's like, well, but um seriously, I can't.

00:03:28.47
Mike
Hmm.

00:03:30.86
Bill
ah Well, I mean, does it count the retreat that we, I mean, that was a lead.

00:03:36.54
Mike
um Yeah, you know, sure. You know, it's big of service to the program.

00:03:40.33
Bill
All right.

00:03:41.51
Mike
So absolutely. Yeah, that counts.

00:03:43.35
Bill
But I mean, is as far as doing, I mean, an actual, it might be, I got a seven years, eight years, five, you know, since I've led.

00:03:45.96
Mike
Hmm.

00:03:50.08
Mike
Oh, Jesus. yeah Wow.

00:03:54.01
Bill
Because i i I never got asked when I was in, when I was in Wisconsin, I got asked the one time, because we only, you know, there was a one, they did, ah like, what they called speaker meetings once a month.

00:03:57.73
Mike
thanks

00:04:04.41
Bill
And that's it.

00:04:04.46
Mike
Right.

00:04:05.21
Bill
And, and it was like this, again, so it's once a month, so it's only 12 people a year, you know, and, you know, rotating around.

00:04:05.59
Mike
Yeah.

00:04:10.56
Mike
Right?

00:04:13.26
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:04:13.42
Bill
um I mean, I went to that meeting for six years, something like that.

00:04:16.08
Mike
Sure.

00:04:17.20
Bill
You know, but um, yeah, I I never got asked I think that um, did I lead in cleveland?

00:04:19.86
Mike
Right.

00:04:21.91
Bill
um I might have led in cleveland in that time frame Speaking of that pat pat asked me to leave the one time but that might even been before then but I don't fucking know It's been a long time.

00:04:24.00
Mike
Possibly. <unk> Right.

00:04:30.04
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:04:30.17
Bill
The fact that I can't remember means I it means I probably need to But okay, wait, what the fuck am I gonna talk about?

00:04:33.24
Mike
Right. Right.

00:04:37.89
Mike
I don't know.

00:04:40.66
Mike
That's that's none of my fucking business.

00:04:42.54
Bill
yeah

00:04:43.82
Mike
I've done my part Mm

00:04:43.95
Bill
Yeah Oh, I know, I know. Just fucking around. Because that's the that's the whole point, too, that we talked about it plenty of time. So um yeah, whatever he wanted.

00:04:51.86
Mike
-hmm,

00:04:52.62
Bill
Like, when we were talking to to John, he calls it sharing, you know?

00:04:55.83
Mike
right Basically Mm-hmm Right It is yeahp yep, yep

00:04:56.26
Bill
The whole point is standing up in front of a room and telling your stories, what we're speaking of. Cleveland's called lead meetings in Wisconsin. They call them speaker meetings, also other places. California's the sharing, right?

00:05:07.31
Bill
When you get up and share, you know? So whatever the case is.

00:05:10.00
Mike
You're the share. Right. I know.

00:05:12.19
Bill
Oh, you're you're the share.

00:05:13.20
Mike
Yeah.

00:05:14.23
Bill
ah

00:05:14.19
Mike
You're the share. Yes, exactly. That's yeah.

00:05:16.65
Bill
Oh, okay.

00:05:16.62
Mike
If I recall correctly, I wasn't taking it very seriously, but I do remember that much.

00:05:18.57
Bill
All right.

00:05:22.39
Bill
But the whole point is, is that whatever people want to call it, it's, I get to stand up in front of a room of other alcoholics and, you you know, tell some stories.

00:05:25.92
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:05:29.81
Bill
So, but yeah, so cool.

00:05:29.92
Mike
Right. Yeah. And to yeah, right. And we were talking, you know, it's it's already just about September. Yeah. I'm looking at my calendar as I was putting you in. um Jesus Christ.

00:05:41.19
Mike
Next month is nuts, man. For me, I have got so much shit going on.

00:05:45.99
Bill
in September.

00:05:46.10
Mike
It's like, yeah.

00:05:47.52
Bill
Okay.

00:05:48.37
Mike
Yeah, I just, you know, whatever. I mean, we're ah well, I'm sure we'll talk about it, but we're doing that sober curator thing in a couple of weeks.

00:05:54.83
Bill
Right.

00:05:55.49
Mike
um I got a couple of shows I'm going to. I got a company function at a baseball game. I'm going to Chicago in a week or so. um Yeah, fuck, man.

00:06:05.98
Mike
Just, you know, and like I said, I'm. um chairing the my home group because it's anniversary month. So I'm getting leads together and doing all that and just fucking shit, man.

00:06:15.47
Bill
ha yeah

00:06:18.26
Mike
What will we do if we get sober?

00:06:20.53
Bill
Yeah, I know. it's ah It's kind of funny. The you know the funny part is is that i mean once i mean I'm here for another week, so i mean I'm obviously here until next Saturday.

00:06:29.13
Mike
Right.

00:06:29.38
Bill
And then the only thing is the 22nd, which is that Sunday, I'll run up to Wisconsin and have lunch with the kids.

00:06:35.41
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:06:36.54
Bill
you know And then other than that, with now the exception of going to Cleveland, i mean I really don't have anything that I know of going on over the next few weeks.

00:06:42.17
Mike
a Nice.

00:06:43.39
Bill
so But yeah, the the sober curator thing. so the the short story there and I know we've talked about it on here before but um first of all the sober curator if you if you don't follow them or if you haven't looked at their website pretty easy it's just thesobercurator.com their website same as on instagram facebook they're on linkedin they're all over the place um great community um there's content on there for

00:06:55.10
Mike
Right.

00:07:07.69
Bill
Anything you could think of okay, just go on there take a minute take a look, ah but we became part of The sober curator and curators, which means we contribute content and that sort of thing a little over a year ago and Basically now what they're what they're doing is a lease works for a company that's kind of a media group I'm not even sure exactly what it is, but um basically what they're doing is they're they're in the process of

00:07:09.60
Mike
right

00:07:16.97
Mike
Mmhmm. Right.

00:07:32.40
Bill
starting a podcast, like a sober curator podcast, but also they're gonna have all of us that are sober curators and podcasters, they're gonna have us on, again sporadically, you know, depending on the topics and that sort of thing.

00:07:47.17
Bill
ah But yeah, but what is it? to Two weeks from to Tuesday? Two weeks from Tuesday?

00:07:51.46
Mike
Right.

00:07:52.54
Bill
A week from Tuesday, I don't know, whatever, two weeks from Tuesday.

00:07:52.55
Mike
Yeah.

00:07:55.14
Mike
Yeah.

00:07:55.21
Bill
um We've got to, we're going to record, they're going to start recording intros. But the cool part is, is so they're going to do the podcast. We're also going to have, we'll be advertising for this over curator podcast. um They'll be advertising for us and this and that. So it's, ah it's all a give and take, but it is, it's, it's one other thing that we're going to be involved in. Not a big deal, you know, but um I don't know, just another, another way to to be there and I suppose give back a little bit again, right?

00:08:19.65
Bill
Even though it's something that this shit's, i this shit is service, even though we don't, we look at it that way sort of, but not really, you know, cause it just, it's just what we do.

00:08:19.89
Mike
yeah

00:08:25.69
Mike
Hmm. Right. That's being, being part of something bigger than ourselves.

00:08:30.31
Bill
but Right, right. And speaking of that, bigger than ourselves, um it's been a while, and I thought about this too, because I was looking at the the plays and the numbers, just the, well, I look at it every morning anyhow, but um it's been a little while since we've like, hoared ourselves out, okay?

00:08:33.58
Mike
ah

00:08:41.65
Mike
ah Okay.

00:08:46.13
Bill
So um we're gonna be hoarsed for a couple of minutes.

00:08:47.60
Mike
this is Speak for yourself.

00:08:48.42
Bill
I will, i'll again, I i will whore my,

00:08:52.07
Mike
I do it every goddamn day. of day

00:08:54.71
Bill
Okay, so pouring out us as podcasters to try to to try to get our podcast out there.

00:08:57.00
Mike
Ah.

00:08:59.50
Bill
So same thing as we always say, and the only thing we need your help with, once again, I'll i'll say it, I keep hearing podcasters say that, you know, your donations keep this on the air.

00:09:10.54
Bill
And in their podcast that I like, and i just I cringe every fucking time because I i hate it, but I'm not gonna go into that anymore.

00:09:14.89
Mike
Right.

00:09:17.06
Bill
We do not solicit money from you guys anymore. We don't want it.

00:09:20.27
Mike
Right.

00:09:21.25
Bill
um I think I might even taking it off our website.

00:09:24.07
Mike
Hmm.

00:09:24.51
Bill
I might've taken a link off her website. I don't remember now, but um Yeah, I mean you could Peep people can look for it people could find it if if somebody works that fucking hard to try to donate to us now Oh, yeah, I didn't I didn't delete the account but ah but the bottom line is all that we want is for all of all of you that are listening and tell one person, okay?

00:09:26.55
Mike
Hmm. You want to buy us a coffee thing? Yeah. I don't. Yeah. It exists. Right.

00:09:45.46
Mike
Right.

00:09:46.32
Bill
Or um if you follow us on Instagram, take one of our clips. i I post a clip every single day, take one of our clips, just add it to your story.

00:09:51.66
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:09:55.05
Bill
It's a couple of clicks and add it to your story.

00:09:57.06
Mike
Huh?

00:09:57.33
Bill
I'd ask you to make a big deal out of it. You don't have to make a big fucking production about it. um you know But there could be, and we don't think that we're great or anything like that. We're not pats on our back or anything like that.

00:10:09.75
Bill
but

00:10:09.87
Mike
Right.

00:10:10.81
Bill
you know We do know that people listen to us, that's number one, and people get something out of it. okay And the other thing, right, and right which you know blew our minds and still does.

00:10:16.79
Mike
Yeah, we've been told that. That's the only way we know it.

00:10:23.39
Mike
Right.

00:10:24.32
Bill
Um, but there's, there's also a possibility. I think that there could be other people out there.

00:10:28.20
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:10:30.27
Bill
Even let them check us out if they don't like us. Fine. I won't even say fuck you to them.

00:10:33.19
Mike
Right.

00:10:34.43
Bill
I'll say fine.

00:10:35.00
Mike
Yeah, yeah.

00:10:35.19
Bill
We're not your cup of tea or your cup of coffee, whatever the fuck.

00:10:36.88
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:10:38.39
Bill
Um, you know, but do us a favor and just do tell one person that's it, you know, or share.

00:10:42.37
Mike
Yep.

00:10:44.03
Bill
That's all you're going to do.

00:10:44.90
Mike
That's it.

00:10:45.15
Bill
You know, you don't have to beat your friend up and say, listen, motherfucker, you know,

00:10:49.87
Mike
Hold them down and strap the headphones to their head. Duct tape the headphones to their head.

00:10:55.57
Bill
if it what you know What are you willing to do, I guess? If it works, it works.

00:10:57.62
Mike
Yeah.

00:10:58.25
Bill
i i don't I don't give a fuck. If you get arrested, no, we're not bailing you out, so.

00:11:02.54
Mike
No.

00:11:04.63
Bill
But yeah, so I'm just teasing about the whoring part of it, but we just, we would appreciate your help. If you listen to us on a regular basis, which there's a group that does, we know that fucking tell somebody that's it.

00:11:13.20
Mike
isnt Right.

00:11:17.41
Mike
Right.

00:11:20.16
Mike
Exactly.

00:11:20.27
Bill
All right. All right. Enough of that, but okay. So we got, uh, got all that, all that stuff out of the way.

00:11:26.41
Mike
Right.

00:11:27.19
Bill
Um, what do you think? Do you have a, do you have a reading ready? I mean, I know it's a Thursday and things are fucking weird and

00:11:31.79
Mike
yeah

00:11:32.59
Bill
ah

00:11:33.27
Mike
I'm used to that.

00:11:34.65
Bill
Right.

00:11:36.75
Mike
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a reading.

00:11:39.29
Bill
All right, your turn then.

00:11:40.27
Mike
All right. Okay then. This was actually from shit yesterday. Look at that. Yeah, August 28th. This is from God Grant Me. Read it and went, ah, that's a pretty good one. I think I'll use it for tomorrow. So here we go. Let the beauty we love be what we do. Rumi, he was a 13th century poet, philosopher, dude. All right.

00:12:08.39
Mike
it's up to us to share for It's up to us to search for happiness enjoy and joy in our recovery, to search for the beauty and the love that fill the recovery rooms. Why? Because we are needed. At times, all of us feel as if the world would not miss us if we were not around.

00:12:27.70
Mike
But what about the new person who may see us having what he or she wants? What about this person's family members who are seeing him or her sober, maybe for the first time in years? We are needed. Our stories are of transformation are needed.

00:12:47.28
Mike
We need to look around our meeting rooms. If these people were not here, would we be here? We keep ourselves accountable by being accountable for and to others. We don't dare pretend that we have no importance. We must put any self-pity or self-hate aside and get busy being of service. We are here to help ourselves by helping others. This is what we do.

00:13:15.41
Mike
prayer for the day. Higher power, help me see the value that I hold. Help me to be of value to you, to the world, and to the still suffering addicts. Today's action, I will list all of my qualities that can be used to make this world a better place. I will make at least two other people smile today.

00:13:38.35
Bill
You know what, um God, did I, I don't know, i I ran across that one and I was actually gonna, I was gonna write down that last line. That that was a good reading. It made me think of a lot of things when i when I read it and I just wrote down some notes.

00:13:50.68
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:13:52.08
Bill
um But I was gonna write down that, just that make you smile. I was gonna bring it up tonight and just say, hey Mike, did you make at least two other people smile today? Oh.

00:14:03.23
Mike
hey oh Yeah, probably.

00:14:04.02
Bill
yeah

00:14:06.78
Bill
yeah not Not on purpose, even if it's not on purpose. It doesn't matter, but, you know.

00:14:09.18
Mike
Well, it doesn't matter. Right. Just if you do it, the action.

00:14:13.39
Bill
Right. Well, and the other thing too is you're out amongst the people a little bit more than than I am, but, um you know, even even with what I do, you know, I mean, on the phone and stuff like that, I mean, if I have a decent, I mean, granted, I'm a,

00:14:20.40
Mike
Hmm.

00:14:28.33
Bill
ah fucking but I'm a fucking bill collector, okay?

00:14:30.84
Mike
Right.

00:14:30.95
Bill
And that's really what it is. I mean, again, yes, I work for a law firm. It's a little, I'm working with businesses. It doesn't fucking matter. It's like the dude that picks up your trash is a garbage collector.

00:14:36.20
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:14:39.69
Bill
if i If a person that tries to get money from other people is a fucking bill collector.

00:14:44.33
Mike
Right.

00:14:44.87
Bill
That's what I do. But, you know, every once in a while um and in a lot of cases, I don't get a lot of people to get, you know, really fucking irritated at me.

00:14:45.85
Mike
Yep.

00:14:53.30
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:14:53.63
Bill
um But you have a nice interaction with people. So, you know, I don't know.

00:14:55.55
Mike
Sure.

00:14:57.23
Bill
Did I make the person smile? I don't think I made their day worse. You know, um some hate me.

00:15:00.33
Mike
Right.

00:15:02.59
Bill
You know, just by calling. Hey, yeah by the way.

00:15:04.27
Mike
Yeah, you owe us money.

00:15:06.52
Bill
yeah Yeah, ah but anyway i'm I'm here to here to take $5,000 from you. So how are you doing today?

00:15:13.13
Mike
Yeah.

00:15:14.93
Bill
But um you know what in a normal circumstance though being out and about and I forget what it was handful of months ago, a few months ago, I forget fucking time flies obviously, but

00:15:25.13
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:15:26.18
Bill
You were talking about walking into um a gas station and you know just somebody saying something, whatever, and just smiling you know at the person at the gas station.

00:15:29.69
Mike
Right.

00:15:34.15
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:15:35.29
Bill
Some random fucking person um or walking by somebody and giving them even a positive, you know the head nod or something like that.

00:15:35.64
Mike
Right. Yep.

00:15:41.37
Mike
Yeah, exactly.

00:15:43.06
Bill
It doesn' it doesn't take that much work, right?

00:15:44.95
Mike
Mm hmm. No, not at all. No, it's pretty damn easy, you know? um Right. and I mean, I certainly remember the old me, um you know, fucking miserable bastard that I was.

00:15:58.61
Mike
ah Yeah, you know, again, misery loves company, right? You know, so I'm fucking miserable.

00:16:02.21
Bill
Right.

00:16:03.61
Mike
I try to make everybody around me miserable too, so I wouldn't be alone. Um, yeah, you know, I would walk into a store or whatever, and you know, I catch somebody in the corner of my eye that they're moving towards the door too.

00:16:17.71
Mike
And I'd get my ass in there and make sure that door closed. I wouldn't hold it for him. Fuck you. Right. I i did. That's the way I live my goddamn life. Um, you know, and and today, yeah you know, I'll stop.

00:16:30.71
Mike
I'm in a fucking hurry. I'll stop and I'll stand there and hold the door because it's the next goddamn right thing to do.

00:16:37.32
Bill
Right, right.

00:16:38.22
Mike
Yep.

00:16:39.47
Bill
Yeah, and it's ah it is. It doesn't it doesn't take, um I almost was gonna say little effort. It takes zero effort. you know I mean, you're you're there anyhow.

00:16:45.42
Mike
Yeah, not really. Yeah, right.

00:16:47.54
Bill
you know And I mean, really, like like you just said, and I'm glad you said that everyone's busy, everyone's gotta be someplace.

00:16:53.60
Mike
Uh huh.

00:16:53.91
Bill
um Very few times, and I mentioned it, you know recently we were talking about something. I said, there's very few times that I'm out just meandering. Even if I'm going to do something um on a weekend, go to a trail.

00:17:04.60
Bill
I mean, i still i there's a place I wanna fucking it be. you know

00:17:07.12
Mike
Right.

00:17:07.77
Bill
um But you know the when we think about it, like you said, to hold the door, what does that take, an extra 15 seconds, maybe?

00:17:14.28
Mike
If I'm not that, no, not that long at all.

00:17:14.73
Bill
you know Yeah.

00:17:16.80
Mike
and Two, two, maybe.

00:17:19.51
Bill
Well, if, let's say if a person is, I don't know, if they're a couple of steps, even if, right.

00:17:22.04
Mike
what ah If 15 seconds behind me, i the door's closing. but But if they're five seconds behind me, yeah, I'm going to stand there and hold the door.

00:17:27.22
Bill
You know, that's that's a good that's a good point. So yeah, what, two seconds, three seconds.

00:17:33.91
Mike
Yeah.

00:17:34.63
Bill
Yeah. So when the, in the grand scheme of things, number one, it takes no effort and literally no time, you know, when it comes down to it.

00:17:39.97
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:17:41.16
Bill
But, um, yeah, it just, it's, it's not that hard. And you know, that the thing of it is, like you said, the old me, um, I think the only people that I, I, I smiled at the, you know, the liquor store people, you know, it's like, Hey, how you doing?

00:17:52.13
Mike
Oh yeah.

00:17:55.35
Bill
Yeah.

00:17:55.56
Mike
Yeah.

00:17:55.67
Bill
I'm back to, Hey.

00:17:57.80
Mike
That's right. Give me my shit.

00:18:00.50
Bill
Right.

00:18:00.48
Mike
You're gonna make me happy.

00:18:00.66
Bill
yeah Yeah, I guess that's it.

00:18:02.00
Mike
Yay.

00:18:04.13
Bill
I never thought about this before, but i don't um I'm pretty sure that I never complained about anything when I was in a liquor store. I don't think I ever tried to cause um a hassle or you know ah a or anything like that.

00:18:11.21
Mike
No. No. yeah Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no. I need my shit.

00:18:23.28
Bill
Yeah, yeah, just that's just kind of funny. I mean, I've been in the office, I've been in a restaurant, that caused it a problem, but you know you can have a little bit more of ah of a stern type of, I don't want to even say attitude, but a stern appearance in ah in a restaurant, maybe after your food service, so people don't spit in it.

00:18:37.61
Mike
Right.

00:18:38.12
Bill
But um I don't know, just it it again, the the whole point is it it just takes it just takes no no fucking effort. you know

00:18:44.73
Mike
right

00:18:45.89
Bill
But a couple of things that I wrote down, and I had a couple of other thoughts on it when I read it, but um I wrote down towards the end, it's talked about value that I hold, which I liked, being accountable to and for others. I like that the fact that they put both of those. um But then the first part of it, you know searching for happiness and joy, and we realize and you know that those things are byproducts, doing all all the right things that we always talk about.

00:19:10.77
Bill
But um the ah key thing that I, like the second thing I wrote down was we are needed, okay? And when I was reading it, every time I read that, and I obviously never remember it, you know, the whole reading until I start going through it, but he it literally, it reminds me of, well, two things, something we talked about on here, but it goes, it always reminds me of, it's a wonderful life.

00:19:25.50
Mike
All right.

00:19:33.36
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:19:34.37
Bill
yeah You know, when and fucking, you know, George, George?

00:19:35.00
Mike
Right.

00:19:38.45
Mike
George Bailey.

00:19:39.31
Bill
Yeah, I was gonna say, God, as soon as I said George, I'm like, was that his name?

00:19:42.64
Mike
Yes.

00:19:42.76
Bill
But um when he said that his life didn't matter, it didn't matter if he was there, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:46.02
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:19:46.40
Bill
And then you know they go back and they show, you know it's like that that ripple in time, you take that out and what happened.

00:19:50.86
Mike
Right.

00:19:51.70
Bill
you know

00:19:52.21
Mike
The butterfly effect.

00:19:52.53
Bill
um Exactly. But the other thing too, when I, but maybe a year ago, I know I had something, a question that I brought up about, you know, what, what if, even though we can't have regrets and anything like that, you know, um what if you would have got sober, like at your first run, you know, rather than 15 years ago, 20 years ago, or whenever it was.

00:20:07.09
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure, right. Sure.

00:20:15.80
Bill
And then you know I'd say, I didn't even know if I asked if, would that be cool? Would that be better? do you Or are there you even a mild thing? And you're like you like, you know what? The thing of it is is that think of the people that, um because you said this, think of the people that you've been able to help since you got sober this time.

00:20:25.13
Mike
Mm hmm. Right, right.

00:20:29.96
Bill
And then that's exactly what we're just talking about. So again, what if?

00:20:32.49
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:20:34.20
Bill
you know

00:20:34.72
Mike
Yeah, right. What if I had another 15, 10, 15 years of helping people making someone else's life better, right?

00:20:39.92
Bill
Right?

00:20:41.78
Mike
Yeah, yeah, again. um Hmm. Yeah. That's dangerous ground though. Cause you know, whatever I, I, apparently I needed that extra 10 years of misery and stories and whatever to, uh, yeah, to help somebody else.

00:20:56.55
Mike
Maybe I could, I could, maybe there was someone I couldn't have helped without that extra 10 years of misery and heartache and being a Dick and all that.

00:20:56.70
Bill
Right.

00:21:05.48
Mike
So who knows?

00:21:06.30
Bill
Yeah.

00:21:07.00
Mike
Right.

00:21:07.08
Bill
Oh, it is. And you're right. It's dangerous current ground because you can look at it two different ways. So, okay. All the other people I could have helped in the timeframe, but maybe again, if you wouldn't have been on the right head space with that, maybe you would have fucked people up in that timeframe or think about all the people that you were able to help from April 22nd, 2010 forward.

00:21:13.11
Mike
Right.

00:21:24.07
Bill
What would happen to those people? You know, so it goes out of this whole, this whole other, it's a spider web.

00:21:25.66
Mike
right, right Exactly Mm

00:21:28.97
Bill
Ah, fuck it. It happened when it happened, you know? um but yeah it's uh you know and i i think about all that stuff because you know they i listen again the podcast you hear leads and all those sort of things both of us have been very open about the fact that i mean i had a doctor tell me that

00:21:40.36
Mike
-hmm

00:21:46.33
Bill
probably within weeks, maybe a month at two, I would have been dead had I kept doing what I was doing.

00:21:48.39
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:21:51.26
Bill
Okay, so at, you know, 41 years old, and my son was nine, I never reconciled with my daughter at that point.

00:21:51.31
Mike
Right.

00:21:59.20
Bill
um You know, but she was in a God with 14 years ago, she would have been mid 20s at that time.

00:22:04.56
Mike
Yeah, it's about right.

00:22:05.93
Bill
Yeah, so you know figure I would have left two kids behind, one that was nine, one that was in the mid-20s and one, the one in the mid-20s would have never had the opportunity to try to reconcile.

00:22:11.01
Mike
Uh huh.

00:22:15.74
Mike
Right.

00:22:15.91
Bill
you know I never had that chance, but on top of that, you know you just think about the the effect you know that it that it has on people. And once again, I don't think I'm some great human being, but you know you take a key individual out of out of people's lives, even take it away, not just my son, but let's talk about Kathy, let's talk about mom, let's talk about family members.

00:22:26.46
Mike
Mm. Mm hmm. Right.

00:22:35.21
Bill
And what a horrible fucking way to die to have this disease, you know, so to ah I mean, because clearly if it would have went to that point, I would have died alone, you know, would have just happened.

00:22:37.52
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep.

00:22:43.86
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:22:45.98
Bill
So we're going to fucking phone call and talk to my landlord would have knocked on my door, you know, because my car didn't move and, you know, X number of days and.

00:22:46.14
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

00:22:52.48
Mike
Right. Red didn't get paid.

00:22:55.14
Bill
yeah Well, that didn't get paid even when I was alive.

00:22:57.16
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:22:57.58
Bill
So it didn't fucking matter. Oh, he's dead. Well, I guess the rent's getting paid this time either. But um no, it just, it's crazy. That's literally what this reading makes me think about. Like I said, back to it's wonderful life and, or it's a wonderful life.

00:23:08.29
Mike
Right.

00:23:09.83
Bill
But um the point is, is that yes, we are needed. We have a purpose and everything that we, ah is as painful as some of the shit that we went through was um the main thing.

00:23:18.96
Mike
right

00:23:21.52
Bill
You always say it, it has worth, right?

00:23:23.90
Mike
Yes, it does. Yes.

00:23:24.94
Bill
yeah

00:23:25.56
Mike
Right. We are no longer worthless pieces of shit. We have worth because we're worthwhile to other people.

00:23:33.08
Bill
Right, yeah, yeah, and we, I mean, it's that it's just not even just people that, you know, not from the sober, even just the sober standpoint, but being in there for, again, family and friends and the community and, you know, I mean, it just, it is, it's the, this is the positive butterfly effect, you know, rather than that, than that negative one when when we were out there doing all that shit.

00:23:33.91
Mike
Yep.

00:23:39.26
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep. Mm hmm.

00:23:47.95
Mike
Yep. Absolutely.

00:23:51.56
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:23:51.85
Bill
Again, like you say, you could have been a hundred miles away in a hotel room all by yourself and you're hurting people, you know, just crazy.

00:23:56.08
Mike
Yep. Absolutely.

00:23:59.47
Bill
It's, but you know what? I don't know, everything happened when it needed to and um all in all, I'm just, I'm glad that I'm on this side of it.

00:24:08.98
Mike
c Yeah.

00:24:09.52
Bill
but more What more could I fucking say, right?

00:24:11.15
Mike
Exactly.

00:24:11.59
Bill
yeah But um the other thing that I wrote down is what about the new person?

00:24:12.32
Mike
Exactly.

00:24:16.33
Bill
Because that that is key, you know, and that goes back to what we were talking about to begin with.

00:24:16.78
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:24:20.60
Bill
um I'm not one of those people. I've never been afraid to stand up you know in in front of a podium um for anything. It's just is kind of what I've done for years, and I don't have a problem with public speaking.

00:24:27.46
Mike
Right.

00:24:31.48
Bill
Although I do get i get more nervous doing an AA lead than I do on a business side of things, because ah to me it just matters more.

00:24:41.93
Mike
Sure. Sure.

00:24:43.20
Bill
Not that a business thing doesn't, but you know what I mean. i mean this is

00:24:45.30
Mike
Oh yeah, absolutely. yeah As our friend, Danny says, it's life and death.

00:24:47.06
Bill
ands

00:24:50.87
Mike
There's no games in these rooms.

00:24:52.83
Bill
Yeah, exactly. You know, and I never know what I'm going to talk about. And, you know, I want to have fun up there. I want to, you know, I just I want to enjoy myself, which I know I always will. But, you know, I've got it, it's, I got to be careful.

00:25:01.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:25:04.66
Bill
Because at that point, you know, everything that that we always talk about, we've always been told that, you know, that that might be we might be that moment.

00:25:09.86
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:25:13.53
Bill
Maybe that's somebody's first beating. It's that the first time they've been here. And you get some fucking Yahoo up there like B, cracking jokes and you know making noise. And you know I mean, I've got a responsibility.

00:25:25.17
Bill
We do, right?

00:25:25.94
Mike
Yes, absolutely.

00:25:26.75
Bill
Yeah.

00:25:27.38
Mike
Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, you know, um Alright, I don't think I brought it up. Yeah, maybe I did. You know, ah my home group, the church basement that we meet in is going through renovations and a couple weeks ago, right? It was like all shut down. and We had to have it in another part and it was, you know, whatever. We had to figure out how to get in the other part and all this other shit, whatever. And I'm standing there with ah another home group member and I had the keys. So we were the first ones there. And, um, um Yeah. He's like, uh, yeah, maybe we'll just, uh, and I said, no, not maybe we'll just, we're going to figure out how to do this. If we got to fucking sit in the parking lot and have a meeting, we're going to do it because again, I would, you know, I want the hand of aid to be there for that. I'm responsible. I mean, some dude comes walking up, it's in the fucking schedule. It's his first meeting ever. I, you know, I, I want to be standing there going, Hey, this is us. This is what we do.

00:26:21.74
Bill
Right.

00:26:21.78
Mike
You know, and you know, nine times out of 10, it's not. It's a bunch of regulars coming in and there was coffee and playing grab ass and whatever the fuck we're doing. Um, you know, enjoying our lives.

00:26:32.33
Mike
It's all good. But yes, there is a responsibility to that. I, I, Hey man, it's in the fucking schedule. We're having a fucking meeting. You know, we got to sit in my car. We're, we're having a meeting.

00:26:42.80
Bill
right Right, right. Yeah, there was ah there was some place and I can't remember. Maybe it was at the ah the New Day Club, the the one that I went to in in Wisconsin.

00:26:52.36
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:26:54.60
Bill
And I forget what the deal was. Why?

00:26:57.00
Mike
Uh huh.

00:26:57.51
Bill
I don't know if it was a holiday weekend, whatever, whatever the deal was. I think I got there and there was like one other person there and it might have been I didn't even know if it was a meeting that I was It doesn't matter, ah but it's like nobody else was there and we're waiting around and all of a sudden, you know, yeah, a couple of, a couple of people that we had never seen, you know, before showed up and they're like, are you guys, is this where the meeting is?

00:27:14.24
Mike
Right. Uh huh. Uh huh.

00:27:17.96
Bill
Like, yeah, you know, for whatever reason, I think it would.

00:27:19.31
Mike
You guys the drugs?

00:27:21.61
Bill
Yeah, and I think what it maybe is a weather thing. you know It could have been in winter or whatever, but um I have no idea why, but yeah, we stayed there and you know we did we did our meeting you know with whatever it was, four people.

00:27:24.03
Mike
Right, sure, mm-hm.

00:27:30.17
Mike
Right, yeah.

00:27:31.52
Bill
you know And that's that's all it fucking takes. I mean, the the point is, is like, to to your point, I guess, I mean, I know you've said it before, but it just kind of really clicked is it's it's in the schedule.

00:27:38.45
Mike
Mm, yep.

00:27:42.63
Bill
And if somebody's really not only looking for, but you know is in a position where they need a meeting, oh, yeah, yeah.

00:27:45.65
Mike
Mm-hm, they're fucking desperate. Right. We understand that desperation more than anybody else.

00:27:52.73
Bill
Yep.

00:27:53.94
Mike
Absolutely. Right. I mean, you know, my whole group's on a Sunday. There's this some fucking football game every year on a Sunday that, you know, people, you know, I mean, when we Super Bowl Sunday, man, we have a fucking meeting.

00:28:04.08
Bill
Right.

00:28:05.18
Mike
You know, there's usually we're lucky if we get 10 people, but, you know, but we have a meeting, you know, and I've, I've missed some of them because I'm actually hosted Super Bowl parties in my sobriety.

00:28:11.34
Bill
right

00:28:16.44
Mike
Um, Um but yeah, you know, if I've got nothing else going on, I'm **** at the meeting, man. I, you know, it's, yeah, absolutely.

00:28:24.83
Bill
Right.

00:28:25.63
Mike
You know, uh if Christmas falls on a Sunday, we have a **** meeting, you know, whatever it is, we, yeah, that's that's one thing about that group. We don't **** shut down for anything. You know, we did for COVID and because the church shut down.

00:28:38.62
Mike
Um right, everything **** shut down but you know, as soon as we could, we started doing zoomo meetings and

00:28:41.50
Bill
Right.

00:28:44.59
Mike
yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, I want the hand of aid to be there. For that, I am fucking responsible. Yay.

00:28:51.51
Bill
right Well, and and i and I know I've talked about it on here, but I showed up at ah one when we were at the the Keating Center and i rode my I rode my bike up to a meeting.

00:28:56.02
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:29:00.22
Bill
it was ah There's been a time I think I was, I was looking for work and whatever. My meeting schedule got all fucked up. I said probably was probably when I was working at that that factory, you know, at second shift.

00:29:07.06
Mike
All right.

00:29:10.20
Bill
So it was probably like a a Saturday or Sunday when I didn't have to work.

00:29:13.24
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:29:13.65
Bill
um And again, my my meeting schedule got all, you know, fucked up and flipped around and whatever.

00:29:17.79
Mike
Right?

00:29:18.62
Bill
um And I remember it was over by, maybe it wasn't, wasn't lie I don't remember where it was, but I remember walking in and I walked downstairs. I'm like, is this the meeting? i're Like, yeah, this is ah this is a women's meeting.

00:29:30.56
Bill
um i just you know a couple of older ladies look like they've been around for a while i'm like i'm like uh i'm like uh okay no big deal and i was walking out and one of them you know kind of trotted out after me she's like she's like do you do you really need a meeting because i could help you find one and i said no i said i'm good i said i appreciate number two things i appreciate the fact that you asked um but i said i i was just trying to you know i had some extra time i was kicking around and had you know

00:29:46.35
Mike
fifty

00:29:49.50
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:29:54.86
Bill
wanted to, you know, grab an extra meeting type of thing.

00:29:56.71
Mike
Right.

00:29:56.82
Bill
I said, no, I'm good. I might even go into one that night or whatever it was and, um, but just wanted to catch an extra one in the afternoon.

00:29:59.95
Mike
Sure.

00:30:02.90
Bill
But it was, it was nice because, you know, she's just like, Hey, do you, do you need a meeting?

00:30:08.26
Mike
Right.

00:30:08.50
Bill
And, you know, kind of inside of me, I was kind of laughing like, well, fuck man, no, I'm good. But then, you know, when you think about it, you're like, well, okay, great.

00:30:12.67
Mike
shey

00:30:14.60
Bill
You know, that's the fact that somebody, that somebody thought enough to ask that question, you know,

00:30:18.71
Mike
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Right. I mean, that's what we're fucking supposed to do. No, you can't stay for this one, but I'm going to help you anyway. If I can.

00:30:28.17
Bill
Right.

00:30:28.29
Mike
Right. Yeah. That's, that's what we're supposed to do, man. Yeah. I believe i believe that's a attraction rather than promotion.

00:30:35.45
Bill
Right. Well, and the other thing that that's cool, and um I mean, just just in general, when you when you think about it, I mean, how nice is it? um Because again, you know, kicking around like I'm doing and stuff like that, I don't i don't feel, um you know, I, oh, this week was, I was, i It was a stressful week.

00:30:52.85
Bill
Work's been work been work beent workish and same thing I was talking about.

00:30:53.03
Mike
Uh huh.

00:30:56.43
Bill
Things are a little bit slow and this all has tied around my you know my growth with the company and my money. and um I woke up this morning, I swear to God, I was fucking wiped out. and I didn't think I slept bad, but I had to have.

00:31:10.48
Bill
It was almost like I was tired to the point where I felt almost nauseous.

00:31:10.59
Mike
Right.

00:31:14.69
Bill
you know um And I don't get nauseous. I just fucking don't like ever, you know, but I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ.

00:31:18.75
Mike
right

00:31:22.55
Bill
um But, you know, I don't get to the point necessarily where I need a meeting, but I was um the other night, again, rough day at work, this and that kind of slow whenever I was, I was fucking irritated.

00:31:35.16
Bill
So what I did was I drove into downtown, it's 10, 15 minutes away to get into the main part of downtown.

00:31:40.38
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:31:40.67
Bill
And I walked for a half hour.

00:31:41.83
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:31:42.07
Bill
you know, and um i I was gonna, I'm like, God, I wonder, I'm like, ah I'm not gonna try to search for a meeting.

00:31:42.68
Mike
Right.

00:31:46.72
Bill
I'm like, ah, fuck, I have no money on me anyhow.

00:31:48.89
Mike
if she

00:31:49.40
Bill
So I would feel, I really would feel bad. I have a note to get cash, because I would feel bad to walk into a meeting and not leave something in the basket, just these days.

00:31:55.54
Mike
Right. Right.

00:31:57.23
Bill
I mean, there was a point when I, again, I barely had enough money to do it, but

00:32:00.98
Mike
Oh, sure.

00:32:01.48
Bill
um But i I didn't want to just sit here and do nothing, so I went and I fucking walked, you know?

00:32:07.04
Mike
Right.

00:32:08.00
Bill
um So, I mean, the the good thing is is that i I don't get necessarily to those points where I need a meeting, but I'll tell you this much, if I needed a meeting, I know for a fucking fact, even if I would have to drive a half hour, I can find a meeting, you know?

00:32:16.29
Mike
Uh huh. Right. Sure.

00:32:21.43
Bill
And that's the that's the beauty of this thing, you know?

00:32:23.91
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:32:24.09
Bill
We have we have friends all over the all over the world. you know, that we've never met.

00:32:27.33
Mike
Right. We do.

00:32:29.36
Bill
But if we walked into a room of Alcoholics Anonymous, anywhere in the state, the country, the world, um we would be welcomed and we would feel at home, which is mind blowing.

00:32:33.47
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:32:37.86
Mike
Yep. Yeah.

00:32:40.64
Bill
Just fucking crazy, you know, but um and I've experienced that I know you have to used to when you when you drove and when you were driving truck didn't you you went to meetings every once in a while.

00:32:42.45
Mike
Absolutely. Mm hmm.

00:32:48.13
Mike
Yep. Yeah. Every once in a while. Right. You know, well, when I, but especially when I started, cause I would be out for several weeks and I, I would take a 36 hour reset.

00:32:58.86
Mike
Whenever I did that, I would try to find a meeting somewhere. I'd call the local central office and say, Hey man, I'm out at this fucking truck stop.

00:33:01.66
Bill
Right.

00:33:05.43
Mike
Can somebody come pick me up?

00:33:07.34
Bill
Oh, that's right. Yeah, you had a couple of people come pick you up, didn't you?

00:33:09.79
Mike
Yeah, I did.

00:33:11.55
Bill
Yeah, that's, ah again, amazing.

00:33:11.55
Mike
Yep.

00:33:13.78
Bill
you know I mean, really amazing.

00:33:14.11
Mike
Yep. yep

00:33:17.15
Bill
So, I don't know I mean all of that the the reading itself. ah I mean the the the bottom line to all this stuff is that I mean we obviously we have value we have worth everything we went through, you know, obviously as worth and yes happiness is the byproduct and all that stuff but I mean how, how great is it that all we got to do again.

00:33:25.57
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:33:36.46
Bill
Follow some steps, be a decent person, say some fucking prayers, and I get to live ah ah a relatively comfortable life.

00:33:39.34
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Absolutely right. And talking about in the rooms and stuff, um um I am going to say the the opening line is It's up to us to search for happiness and joy in our recovery, to search for the beauty and love that fill the recovery rooms.

00:34:03.72
Mike
We've got to look for it, you know, because I mean, i trust me, I can walk into a church basement and see fucking misery.

00:34:04.01
Bill
right

00:34:10.07
Bill
Right.

00:34:10.19
Mike
You know, yeah, you know, there's miserable motherfuckers in the rooms. I've been one. um you know, but it's up to me to walk in there and look for the good and the joy and the love and the happiness and all that, right?

00:34:23.85
Mike
Because sometimes it's not totally evident. I mean, that's another thing, you know? I mean, I sit at my home group, I sit in the front, I'm sitting at the ticket table. If you guys don't know Cleveland Recovery, they do lottery, they do raffle tickets.

00:34:40.39
Bill
yeah

00:34:40.45
Mike
Gambling.

00:34:41.41
Bill
Right.

00:34:41.41
Mike
Again, I've always wondered if there's an open bar at GA meetings, but anyway,

00:34:45.55
Bill
Yeah.

00:34:46.55
Mike
Um, that's a Cleveland thing. Um, so I, I do the ticket. So I'm sitting right there in the front and and it is, it's a responsibility. I may not be the greatest fucking mood. I might be tired. I might whatever, but it's up to me to to fake that shit a little bit.

00:34:59.77
Mike
Sometimes, you know, even 14 and a half years into this man, you know, tra Hey, asshole, people are walking in. They want to see a little joy and a little happiness. Try to show it, even if it's not real.

00:35:09.75
Bill
right Right, yeah, and it is I mean that's I I'm trying to think if um I'm sure I've walked in into meetings before where you know people were in fucked up moods or or whatever I've I've been to some you know meetings that um That I've chose not to go back to because you know of the I don't know the mood or the atmosphere or whatever nothing terrible but you know certain things that just kind of

00:35:21.27
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure. Right. Sure.

00:35:35.50
Bill
you know it I don't know rubs you the wrong way it doesn't sit with you right whatever the case is and um I mean thankfully I know better you know I've been to different meetings and you know it wasn't the only one I went to but I mean how many people have we talked to you know some of the guests that we have on that you know tried out AA and it wasn't their deal and that's fine I mean there's no these are people with long-term sobriety so nothing wrong with what they're doing

00:35:37.56
Mike
Right. Right. Mm hmm.

00:35:50.83
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:35:57.05
Bill
um But it's funny to hear these these stories of people with just these bad experiences and they're like, Jesus Christ, it's fucked up.

00:35:58.89
Mike
All right.

00:36:05.74
Bill
But I think, wasn't it G that told us the first meeting she went to was fucked, but she tried and then finally found that she's been to whatever, she's been sober for three, four, I think four years now.

00:36:15.02
Mike
Right.

00:36:15.10
Bill
um And she goes to the same, you know, the same home group, you know, whereas Gary ended up, you know, accidentally going to the one and,

00:36:18.41
Mike
Right.

00:36:22.57
Bill
yeah not really accidentally but he was going to walk away and the you know the guy kind of said hey you're here from the meeting you know and same deal i mean that that's been his meeting for you know as long as he's been sober so they're just as many success stories as there are be weird ones but um yeah i mean for anyone out there if you're if you're not a 12-step or anything like that there's nothing wrong with that but if you if you are thinking about going to a meeting um and you go to one and it doesn't feel like it fits

00:36:28.58
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure.

00:36:45.08
Mike
Mm

00:36:48.37
Bill
um And I'll say that that it fits.

00:36:48.40
Mike
hmm.

00:36:49.97
Bill
It's not that you don't it's that the meeting doesn't fit you um There go to another one, you know because and I've been to some I've been in some great meetings in different areas and um where they're just fun They're relaxing.

00:36:52.88
Mike
Right. Yep.

00:37:01.33
Bill
They're they're welcoming. They're they're warm and they're comfortable and you know, it's just they're nice You know, there's plenty of them out there.

00:37:02.84
Mike
Mm-hmm Yep, yep, there are Make two people smile today Yeah, I think that covered it

00:37:07.69
Bill
So But, um, no, that was a good reading. I'm glad, uh, I'm glad you grabbed that one. And like I said, I was, uh, I was gonna, I knew I was going to write down that line about if you, if you would smiled at people, yeah, make two people smile today. God damn it. I gotta do that. But, uh, so anything else, but, uh, I mean, in general and the reading was good, but anything else?

00:37:31.64
Bill
Okay. So um real quick here. And I mean, obviously it's, ah I mean, Mike and I are of the opinion. We've talked about it plenty of times. um Yes, this is Labor Day weekend. You know, it's the, ah whatever it is.

00:37:42.72
Bill
It's a party weekend just because any fucking holiday could be, any day could be a party day and a party weekend, but.

00:37:46.99
Mike
They have been.

00:37:49.27
Bill
right. But you know, it's just these these type of weekends, um you know, I mean, they just tend to be it's the quote unquote end of summer, blah, blah, blah, this and that.

00:37:54.46
Mike
Right. right

00:37:58.26
Bill
um But Mike, you always put it best. You're just like another day on the calendar and blah, blah, blah, right?

00:38:02.04
Mike
It is. Absolutely. Yeah. Just, you know, it's another day on the calendar, man. Um, you know, there's no pressure. There's no pressure to do anything other than stay sober.

00:38:14.72
Mike
So do that. Yeah. You know, I pulled into town today and, uh, you know, uh, the air show is here in Cleveland every labor day and, uh, uh, blue angels were doing their thing up in the air.

00:38:21.24
Bill
Right.

00:38:26.15
Mike
It was pretty fucking cool, man. you know, and there's going to be people down at the at the lakefront this weekend, you know, partying their asses off. I'm not going to be one of them. You know, i my house is close enough to the lakefront.

00:38:37.90
Mike
I can go out on my back deck and look at the planes fly over. I'm good with that.

00:38:41.53
Bill
Right. Right, well, and it was, so and and that is that is the thing, you know, I mean, if, ah it whatever, Labor Day weekend is Labor Day weekend. If ah if anyone out there is new lease over this first holiday, or if you're still having, you know, some issues with being around, you know, partying and shit like that, um once again, you know, you you don't have to do that, find something else to do.

00:38:52.23
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:39:01.39
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:39:01.58
Bill
One of the reasons that I booked an extra week here is because I wanted to be here over Labor Day weekend, so I had more time to kick around and, you know, go see some shit, you know.

00:39:08.81
Mike
Right?

00:39:10.67
Bill
um And I'm guessing, well, if the weather holds, it looks like from i'm like tomorrow through like next Friday on the weather app, it's like a chance for rain every fucking day.

00:39:20.76
Bill
I'm like, are you kidding me? Cause then I'm starting to look at next Saturday when I get back on my shit. I'm like, fuck. But anyhow, um I'm hoping, you know, cause then I have three days to kick around. This shit's beautiful. I'll talk about that in a minute, but um I don't know.

00:39:31.69
Mike
Right.

00:39:32.62
Bill
It just, it is. It's you don't, don't go out there and push yourself. If there's any question, it's not fucking worth it.

00:39:39.44
Mike
It's not.

00:39:39.65
Bill
It isn't.

00:39:40.47
Mike
Nope.

00:39:41.17
Bill
Right.

00:39:41.80
Mike
Yeah, you know, and it just reminded me, um yeah, my first sober labor day, I went over to Dan's and John's and Pat's. ah All three of them are gone now. um But yeah, that was my first, ah you know, on my own. They invited me over, said, hey, what we're having a cookout and we're hanging out.

00:40:02.98
Mike
you know, stop on by. And I did. And it was my first ah normal kind of whatever glimpse at, you know, look what you could do when you're sober, you can still go to a cookout and still hang out. And, and you know, whatever, it was a good time. So yes, just reminded me of that.

00:40:20.74
Bill
Right, well you know what's funny is next time my list was do you remember what you did for the first Labor Day weekend when you were sober?

00:40:26.48
Mike
That was it.

00:40:27.71
Bill
And you know but you know what's funny is I wrote i wrote that down, I made the note a couple of days ago when obviously I was you know considering well realizing the Labor Day weekend, but then um the Blue Angels thing I saw my friend Misty used to cut my hair, ah Melissa, Johnny's old girlfriend, Chris,

00:40:36.19
Mike
Mm hmm. Great.

00:40:43.55
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:40:44.73
Bill
had posted pictures about it. There was one other person and I'm like, oh shit, that's right. Cause then it reminded me, I'm like, that's right.

00:40:49.55
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:40:50.99
Bill
Cause we talked about it last year for sure. Maybe even the first year that that's what you did. And I literally, I thought about the same thing. I'm like, fuck man.

00:40:57.91
Mike
Yep, they are.

00:40:58.18
Bill
All three of those guys are fucking dead now. You know, I'm like, God damn it.

00:41:02.33
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:41:03.65
Bill
But yeah, shit, the whole thing with Pat, you know, I mean, I know we didn't know, as far as I know, no one ever heard a, you know, I guess a wrap up to that of what the deal was, but that his birthday was just the other day I came up on, came up on Facebook.

00:41:11.98
Mike
No.

00:41:14.48
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:41:16.20
Bill
I'm like motherfucker that I'll i'll be going through my memories.

00:41:17.37
Mike
see Right.

00:41:18.56
Bill
And, you know, he commented, he used to comment a lot, you know, obviously on my posts, I know on yours too. Um, you know, so I see them all the time and I see mom's mom's comments too, which kind of make me, and again, those are nice.

00:41:25.17
Mike
Nope.

00:41:28.20
Mike
right

00:41:29.91
Bill
You know, you usually just see some nice things, but yeah, fucking thing with path. I don't know. We don't have to get into it, but you know, the whole thing, it just, uh, I'm like, yeah, it was a birthday the other day, but, uh, but yeah, and I, again, I don't remember what I did that first year.

00:41:35.02
Mike
nope Nope. It was.

00:41:43.07
Bill
I'm sure I was down by, you know, by mom's I'm doing, you know, she probably working me but like and working my ass off or something like that, you know, so.

00:41:45.30
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah, probably. Right. Yeah, making you take the swing off the porch.

00:41:52.50
Bill
Well, you know what, um actually that that year, cause that's when um that fall is when Larry showed me, he started showing me how to do everything, how to take care of this and that.

00:41:56.12
Mike
Uh huh.

00:42:01.74
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:42:03.52
Bill
And cause he, I mean, he was getting, he, at that point, that's not what he got.

00:42:04.04
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:42:07.23
Bill
He didn't get like really sick until January when he went into the hospital, but um physically he was becoming unable to do some of those things.

00:42:08.22
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:42:13.92
Mike
Uh huh.

00:42:14.29
Bill
It's like, hey, I'm going to show you how to do some of these things, you know?

00:42:16.22
Mike
Yup.

00:42:17.28
Bill
So yeah, he,

00:42:17.85
Mike
Put the boy to work.

00:42:19.07
Bill
Yeah, but he did. I mean, I didn't, at that time I was just, I was so glad to get out of the fucking Keating Center.

00:42:24.30
Mike
Right.

00:42:24.49
Bill
Cause we were still, we were still living in the dorms, you know, until November, right?

00:42:26.96
Mike
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:42:29.73
Bill
When we went to the three quarter house.

00:42:30.80
Mike
Yeah. ah the End of October, I think something like that.

00:42:34.49
Bill
Yeah, right around that area.

00:42:35.18
Mike
Yup.

00:42:35.76
Bill
But, um, but yeah, so we were, you know, I was just, I was happy to get out, you know, now I could go for, I go for the entire weekend.

00:42:39.46
Mike
z

00:42:41.70
Bill
I'm like, fine, I'll go get out from Saturday and Sunday.

00:42:41.98
Mike
Yup.

00:42:44.40
Bill
I'll stay overnight. I get up, you can work by yourself. I don't give a fuck.

00:42:47.38
Mike
Yep.

00:42:48.86
Bill
Beats the fuck out of sitting in that goddamn building again, helped saved our lives and all that stuff, but I didn't, didn't want to sit there all goddamn weekend.

00:42:50.96
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep.

00:42:56.12
Bill
So, but yeah, so anything, uh, I mean, except for your radio thing, any, you've got any plans for the weekend for the labor day thing or no?

00:42:56.23
Mike
Right.

00:43:03.03
Mike
No, not a goddamn thing. Thank God. Right. Cause like I said, it's, you know, it's starting man.

00:43:06.91
Bill
ah

00:43:10.01
Mike
Um, yeah, you know, I gotta, again, I start my chair cause the first is on Sunday. So, um, yes, I have, uh, Michelle leading for me.

00:43:14.94
Bill
oh Yeah, oh No shit, that's cool

00:43:19.39
Mike
Yep. Yep. And, uh, yeah, you know, it starts, uh, starts the month of a busyness.

00:43:25.66
Bill
Right, yeah, and September, yeah, September is National Recovery Month, right, I think, pretty sure.

00:43:30.27
Mike
No, I don't know.

00:43:32.64
Bill
um I'm actually, yeah, well, yeah, that's the whole thing. Oh, another thing um with some ah William Moyers. That was at the reason that they wanted to release his book then.

00:43:38.80
Mike
Ah. Ah.

00:43:40.73
Bill
But, so Dr.

00:43:41.37
Mike
Yeah.

00:43:42.07
Bill
Sarah sent me a text yesterday.

00:43:44.45
Mike
yeah Oh.

00:43:44.80
Bill
She's like, oh, she's like, ah she goes, oh, I didn't know if this would be of interest. um he are William Moyers already appeared on Dr. Drew's podcast. And I'm like, I'm like, that's kind of interesting.

00:43:54.92
Bill
But then I read the description. They already announced this book too. that The episode was like a week ago.

00:43:58.16
Mike
This is.

00:44:00.22
Bill
I'm like, you motherfuckers.

00:44:01.64
Mike
Right.

00:44:02.19
Bill
I'm like, we weren't gonna be able to do it till like this Sunday was supposed to be when we released the episode, but maybe they changed their tune.

00:44:05.89
Mike
right

00:44:09.01
Bill
But i gotta I'll listen to it this weekend when I'm kicking around. But I don't know. that do So Dr. Drew, I guess, quick side mode.

00:44:17.59
Bill
I think I know your opinion of, yeah, now I know your opinion of him.

00:44:20.69
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:44:21.71
Bill
Not the greatest.

00:44:21.93
Mike
Um, um, you know, I kind of like some of his stuff. Um, a lot of his recovery stuff is, uh, you know, that the psychological angle of it.

00:44:33.92
Mike
And, uh, we all know that I don't go for that.

00:44:37.04
Bill
Right.

00:44:37.47
Mike
Uh, right. And I mean, Again, not necessarily him because, you know, I mean the statistics, the odds, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But seems like a whole lot of people have died under his watch.

00:44:50.58
Mike
I'll just put it that way. So, oh yeah, you know, again, some ah some of his opinions on stuff I agree with and whatever and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:44:52.36
Bill
Right.

00:44:59.68
Mike
Of course he was, you know, I listened to Adam Carolla for a long, long time and they were partners from the Loveline days and all that stuff.

00:45:05.70
Bill
right

00:45:07.24
Mike
So, you know, yeah, you know, and a lot of his stuff when COVID was happening, I was like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But um yeah, as far as his recovery stuff, um I don't know. I think he puts a lot of ah dangerous bullshit out there. Is that clear enough for you?

00:45:24.77
Bill
Yeah, and that's that's what i that's what I thought. And and you I remember um the whole Love Line stuff, and that's when I um you don' got to know him and I think Adam you know at that at that time, and that was 25 years ago?

00:45:32.40
Mike
Right. Right. Right. Yeah.

00:45:36.81
Bill
25, yeah, probably.

00:45:37.81
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:39.32
Bill
um But then, yeah, because he did, didn't Dr. Drew do the celebrity rehab shit?

00:45:44.88
Mike
Yeah, he did.

00:45:45.69
Bill
Okay, so that's what it was.

00:45:46.84
Mike
Yeah.

00:45:47.21
Bill
And I don't know if I watched any of it. I knew a little bit about it. Yeah. Same thing as everything you said, but I'm going to listen to the episode because there was, there was something in the description that said something.

00:45:51.87
Mike
Uh huh. Sure.

00:45:57.56
Bill
I don't know if it was problems or something. It talks about 12 steps stuff.

00:46:00.11
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:46:00.20
Bill
So we'll, we'll see how it, how it runs.

00:46:01.40
Mike
Sure.

00:46:02.49
Bill
But then I'm like, they're like, Oh yeah. And I'll sort of release this book. And I'm like, son of a bitch.

00:46:07.04
Mike
yes

00:46:07.47
Bill
okay But you know what, it it is what it is. You know, we're we're gonna have them on October 12th will be the release of that episode with William Moyers. So um obviously things to look forward to.

00:46:18.48
Bill
And did did we mention on here that Dr. Sarah's coming back up on the 13th of September?

00:46:23.16
Mike
I don't know that we announced the date, but yep, and we knew she's coming back.

00:46:26.85
Bill
Okay, yes. Yes.

00:46:28.59
Mike
We did talk about it last week when, you know, she couldn't be on.

00:46:31.15
Bill
Oh, let's say, oh, yeah, God, that's right. yeah I was like, shit, that was only a week ago.

00:46:35.33
Mike
That was last week.

00:46:35.84
Bill
and And then we have, we scheduled now Breeze.

00:46:39.79
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:46:40.54
Bill
um So Breeze and Carly were on with us, God, I don't even remember how long ago now, but um

00:46:44.47
Mike
A year and and a half maybe.

00:46:47.73
Bill
has been they fuck me and

00:46:48.84
Mike
It's been a while.

00:46:50.11
Bill
um so

00:46:50.29
Mike
Definitely a year.

00:46:51.73
Bill
Yeah, um yeah'm sure I'm sure you're more than right. um So September 27th, Breeze is coming back on.

00:46:56.87
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:46:59.77
Bill
So she's she's doing a whole bunch of different stuff.

00:46:59.77
Mike
Cool.

00:47:01.97
Bill
I mean, she kind of took, ah I don't know that she's playing in a band anymore, but she's doing this.

00:47:05.90
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:47:06.40
Bill
She's doing a podcast, doing some other things, doing a lot of stuff on the music.

00:47:09.72
Mike
Hmm.

00:47:11.34
Bill
Easy for me to say musician side of things, but um exactly.

00:47:12.35
Mike
Apparently. Yes. The musical side.

00:47:16.12
Bill
God damn, thank you. Musical side of things.

00:47:17.77
Mike
Sure.

00:47:18.78
Bill
But um yeah, so we'll have her back on. But if nothing else, she's fucking fun to listen to with her are Australian accent.

00:47:22.98
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:47:24.83
Bill
So um join us for our coming episodes of Sober Not Bature.

00:47:28.67
Mike
That's right.

00:47:30.24
Bill
And on that note, we yeah I think, right?

00:47:31.12
Mike
Yes. Absolutely.

00:47:33.62
Bill
Right?

00:47:34.88
Mike
Yes. Well, stay tuned for more sober, not mature right after these words from our sponsors. ah

00:47:48.59
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome back. Sponsors reserveers is, this ah makes me laugh every time.

00:47:52.76
Mike
Yes.

00:47:56.24
Bill
You know what's funny? and the The funny part is, ah real quick on the ads, is that sometimes, depending on where I'm at, sometimes all the ads don't play, so it only played our our promo, but I mean, I know they play.

00:48:06.35
Bill
it just ah They usually drop one in the middle, but yeah, i like I like the way that you say that and the fact that you do, and it just you know sets people up, and I don't know, makes me laugh also.

00:48:08.54
Mike
Right.

00:48:15.06
Mike
Good.

00:48:15.31
Bill
All right, so so real quick,

00:48:16.86
Mike
Well, there's one down. I made somebody smile.

00:48:20.15
Bill
Yeah, well, you know what the the funny thing is that I when I listen when I listen back to our episodes I laugh a fucking lot on here and it's and it's not if anyone's wondering that it's not fake all this shit just makes me laugh it this is a um Again, I just explained a few minutes ago that I did I woke up today.

00:48:26.53
Mike
he

00:48:29.90
Mike
Hmm.

00:48:37.20
Bill
I was i wiped out. I mean fucking tired almost nauseous um I had a great I had a great day made up for a lot of things today a big money day and all that stuff, but it's still um

00:48:40.56
Mike
Mm. Go.

00:48:48.15
Bill
But God, by the time all said and done, I'm in, you know, it's like two hours left and I'm like, and I get a fucking I get to do this fucking podcast tonight. And I'm like, I'm like, seriously, it was just one at that point.

00:48:59.03
Bill
I'm like, I'm like, I just I again, I felt off, you know, but I get done and I ate because I lunch that didn't help earlier, but I ate.

00:49:00.44
Mike
Mm. Mm hmm.

00:49:07.55
Bill
And then I'm just like, you know what? Every fucking time we come on here and I mean that in a bad way, but it doesn't matter what's going on.

00:49:10.71
Mike
Right.

00:49:13.91
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:14.93
Bill
shit goes well, you know, even when, like last week.

00:49:16.52
Mike
Yeah.

00:49:17.99
Bill
Okay. So we had a technology issue. What does it fucking matter? You know, we had a great time, you know, and we're going to have a lot of fun with Dr.

00:49:20.53
Mike
Yup.

00:49:23.77
Bill
Sarah comes on, worked away at everything that we said. But so my point is, is that I laugh on here because I'm having fun. It has nothing. I suppose I could, I don't know, maybe nobody would know if I was faking a laugh, you would.

00:49:34.61
Mike
Right.

00:49:37.59
Bill
And I don't think, I don't think you'd put up with it if I was trying to fake laugh.

00:49:37.57
Mike
right Right, what the fuck you doing?

00:49:42.38
Bill
He'll be like, dude, that doesn't work. Stop it.

00:49:44.67
Mike
What?

00:49:47.05
Bill
But, um, but no, I mean, it just, uh, yeah, it yeah, you made you made me smile and you do all the time. I just, I do. I have a lot of fun. I have a lot of fun doing this, but, um, so a couple of things I forgot to tell you last week. So you've been to like a campsite had water it like, uh, I don't know, a park where it's kind of like that campsite rusty well water type of thing.

00:50:06.04
Mike
if Yeah, right.

00:50:07.51
Bill
That's what the water's like here. Which, I mean, i i exactly, you know, which is fine.

00:50:11.17
Mike
Yeah. It's well water. Yeah.

00:50:14.00
Bill
You know, but I mean, I've had like, but we lived in Wales, it was well water, this and that. If there's a if there's a softener, whatever, it be it's it is what it is. But the the funny part was, is that, you know, the first day, I just had a point when you turn it on, like you could smell like the rust and stuff, and it's fine.

00:50:21.83
Mike
Right.

00:50:27.03
Mike
That's the iron.

00:50:28.94
Bill
It doesn't, Yeah, and it ah it doesn't bother me.

00:50:31.21
Mike
It's good for you.

00:50:31.40
Bill
it's It is what it is. But I buy bottled water anyhow to drink it. Not a big deal.

00:50:36.76
Mike
ah Right.

00:50:37.79
Bill
um But I'm like, ooh, for the coffee, I'm like, I probably, I'm gonna buy an extra case of water and I'm gonna make my coffee with bottled water. Just save the pot, do whatever but better for you.

00:50:43.95
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:50:47.13
Bill
Well, after the first day I you know like almost I wasn't even through the entire day I went through like nine bottles of water.

00:50:47.10
Mike
Right.

00:50:54.21
Bill
I'm like, fuck it.

00:50:56.20
Mike
Right.

00:50:56.57
Bill
My my coffee is getting made with rust water and I have ever since so it doesn't fucking matter but so the other thing so I think it was the head of been the first day whether it was Saturday or Sunday.

00:50:58.71
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:51:06.36
Bill
I was sitting in here and I heard like almost like a little bit of a tapping type of thing and I was like on the roof I'm like what the fuck is that?

00:51:10.65
Mike
Hmm.

00:51:13.52
Bill
So I kind of was looking and the the roof that's on this place because you can see it on the porch like the over the porch itself the overhang it's almost it almost looks like aluminum siding so it's a steel type of roof.

00:51:20.64
Mike
Yeah. Okay.

00:51:25.14
Bill
Which it must be a thing around here because in the driving around that I've done um I've actually seen a lot of homes cabins Barnes all that stuff with these, you know steel aluminum siding looking roofs.

00:51:29.58
Mike
Hmm.

00:51:35.76
Mike
Yeah. Metal roof.

00:51:37.01
Bill
Yeah, but I don't fucking shit I was sitting in here one day and I remember if it was when I couldn't have been when I was working but doing something and I hear this bang and I what it sounded like is somebody like beat the fucking side of the house, you know, and I'm like what the fuck I

00:51:37.15
Mike
Yeah.

00:51:51.05
Mike
Uh huh.

00:51:55.28
Bill
I walk outside and then it clicks more than likely, because I don't know, it's not like I crawl up there. But I mean, there's trees all over the fucking place.

00:52:02.91
Mike
Uh huh.

00:52:03.78
Bill
I'm sure what happened is a branch broke off and fell on the roof and it's steel.

00:52:06.81
Mike
Right.

00:52:08.57
Bill
And you know so I've heard that every once in a while.

00:52:08.81
Mike
Yeah.

00:52:10.25
Bill
That was the biggest one, but scared the living fuck out of me. Now, good thing is, is that you know that was the first time it happened. It was light out. Had it happened at night, I would have fucking freaked out. you know Because I mean, you don't know.

00:52:22.81
Bill
you know

00:52:23.14
Mike
right yeah yeah you You're out there in the fucking wilderness, man.

00:52:27.15
Bill
right it it's ah it was just it kind of cracked me up but uh yeah and then the just the one one last thing on that my car um where i parked my car because i i've got it at a point where because the driveway is kind of slanted i had it backed in when i unloaded but you know you're kind of on the hill and that's that's never good for the transmission set like that so i've got it parked in an area where it's as flat as it could be but it's kind of under this

00:52:34.14
Mike
Right.

00:52:43.68
Mike
right

00:52:48.38
Bill
You know, it's a tall thing, but a pine tree, my car is fucking, it's just a mess, fucking mess.

00:52:52.10
Mike
He he he he he he.

00:52:54.13
Bill
um But I mean, it's not a huge deal. But the last thing is, is it, so I kicked around, went to play, so I'm gonna go see some more shit. um I'm telling you, I mean, these there's national forests around, there's all these fucking places I went. I hit the lower end of the Smoky Mountains, I mean, literally just the lower end.

00:53:08.20
Bill
If I would have went on the other side, it would have been like two and a half hours to drive up there.

00:53:11.75
Mike
right

00:53:12.36
Bill
It was like an hour and 20 just to get where I went. And it was nice, that the trail was cool, it was fine, whatever. but this the other one i went to on sunday and i'm looking at it and it's this whole thing it's like these reviews are saying if this is more like rock climbing than a trail and like how cow can that be you know like how can that fucking be then they're like oh yeah it's really steep going up you know three quarters of it is climbing up to this thing and then plateaus and then this other not the review but the description of the trail is like yeah if you're afraid of heights you might want to pick another trail type of thing you know

00:53:25.49
Mike
Ah.

00:53:36.53
Mike
Hmm.

00:53:41.47
Bill
And I'm like like, that's kind of weird. I'm like, well, I'm gonna go fucking try it in no shit. I mean, it's This trail I swear to God I it's like walking up I don't even know how many floors, you know, probably four flights five five stories or something like that walking up and I mean to the point where there's big step ups and stuff like that you know it's not this like flat path going up.

00:53:59.31
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:54:01.24
Bill
It was one of the ones like halfway up it's like I'm taking breeders as I'm going up you know because like I said, old Buick you know, remember.

00:54:02.91
Mike
Huh? Yup.

00:54:07.75
Bill
um But then on top of that I'm like this is going to be worse coming down you know. And so I get all the way up there and I'm walking I'm trying to figure out where this trail goes cuz literally it is it's like you're on these rock things that all these pictures I took is fucking beautiful but it's these rocks and bluffs and shit that you're that you're up there you're you're not climbing like really tight or anything like that but um You know, a couple of areas I'm like, God, where am I?

00:54:29.55
Bill
I'm like, Oh, I go around here, around here to get around. So I finally got to this one place and and I'm like, I don't know how to get around. I can't get through this one area. Then it looks like you'd have to step down, kind of like step over this opening, you know, and then kind of like walk around almost like you were on the ledge of a building.

00:54:42.92
Mike
Yeah.

00:54:46.38
Bill
And then, cause I'm looking at all trails is the app I have.

00:54:48.01
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:54:50.25
Bill
And at that point, I'm like three quarters through the trail. And I'm like, I'm not at the end. And I'm like, I'm looking at it. And part of me is like, fuck it. You only live once, right? The whole fucking I'm like, I'm like, yeah, you'll know you live every day.

00:55:01.22
Bill
You only die once, right?

00:55:02.28
Mike
Right.

00:55:03.16
Bill
I'm like, fuck that. I went back. ah Done.

00:55:05.03
Mike
Hehehehehe.

00:55:06.84
Bill
so boys and girls is much of a I am I'm a I'm more of a I don't even I'm not a thrill seeker but um've I've got bigger balls in some cases than I than I used to um I'm careful what I'm doing this shit I'm not clearly not gonna take these chances but I'm like I don't know how to get around this and I'm like I probably could have

00:55:17.86
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:55:26.64
Bill
but I'm like, fuck that. So yes, going back down.

00:55:27.83
Mike
Yeah.

00:55:29.90
Bill
Oh my God. I'm taking my time because, so here's the thing. So walking up, you figure when you walk it up something, you got, you know, you could lean, you're holding on to stuff, you know, you step up in this whole thing, you got lean forward, you know, equilibrium, all these different things.

00:55:42.88
Bill
Coming down, I've got bad knees and gravity, okay?

00:55:46.53
Mike
right

00:55:47.31
Bill
So as I walk you down, I'm like, Jesus Christ. And then trying to figure out like, can I race on this tree literally? Because I don't want, I can't. Again, knowing my limitations, I could, but I could fuck up my knees.

00:55:58.72
Bill
I don't want to jump down even if it's only a couple of feet, because I don't i don't know.

00:56:01.61
Mike
Yeah.

00:56:03.12
Bill
and I don't need to fuck up my knee.

00:56:03.24
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:56:04.95
Bill
um

00:56:05.47
Mike
In the middle of nowhere.

00:56:06.92
Bill
Yeah, in the middle of nowhere, just in general, because at this age, one of us fucks up our knees. It's like, you know, I'm like, I can't, I don't want to deal with it.

00:56:14.28
Mike
and

00:56:14.52
Bill
But it was, it was great. It was fucking beautiful. I didn't walk that far, but man, it was a fucking workout when, you know, getting up there. Um, but yeah, it was just fucking cool. But I mean, all the way down, same thing, you know, down these fucking gravel roads and dirt roads and shit like that.

00:56:26.50
Bill
Not a bad road, um but I'm telling you, man, these whole, in this, I've kind of eyeballed a couple of other places. I think I might go to this area in Georgia, because I'm already, obviously North Carolina, Ben, I went up by the Smokies, went into Tennessee.

00:56:40.94
Bill
That's where I was in the Cherokee National Forest, which also runs up through North Carolina.

00:56:43.23
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:56:44.95
Bill
But there's a whole nother that, or, National Forest down in Georgia again, not that far, you know 45 minutes to an hour away from here so um I just I can't I can't say it enough that I'm just I'm speaking of mind-blowing again they these it's the pictures I said it before ah they don don't even do justice to just being out there and just <unk>m Just stand in there and again just stand in there going fucking

00:56:48.73
Mike
Alright.

00:57:10.68
Bill
Wow.

00:57:14.32
Bill
It's just that I don't know, I haven't fun, but we already know that. So um all right. On another note, while I was kicking around, I listened to the moon zappa interview.

00:57:24.90
Mike
Ah!

00:57:25.01
Bill
Okay.

00:57:25.68
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:57:25.90
Bill
um Well, two things. The thing I want to mention first is, did you hear at the end, when she said happiness is a byproduct?

00:57:32.62
Mike
Yeah, I did.

00:57:35.47
Bill
And that was like literally the last few minutes of the episode or something like that.

00:57:37.20
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:57:38.51
Bill
I'm like, i' like oh, motherfucker. I'm like, it's fucking awesome. So here's the thing. First of all, um I don't know that I've ever, um maybe I have.

00:57:48.96
Bill
I don't remember ever hearing her utter a word in my life.

00:57:51.76
Mike
Mm.

00:57:52.26
Bill
um You know, so I probably have, but I don't know. I don't know much about or I know a little bit about or just on the outskirts this and that.

00:57:59.33
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:57:59.44
Bill
um But yeah, the the thing that is that I there there's a point to this clearly, but um everything she was saying, um it's like, I want to hear more and I want to hear more.

00:58:10.71
Bill
I need to hear more. It's like you hear this, this little nugget of the story.

00:58:11.92
Mike
Right.

00:58:13.90
Bill
I'm like, that's fucked up. ah What else happened? You know?

00:58:15.89
Mike
Great.

00:58:16.93
Bill
So I looked it up and Audible has the, her book's on Audible.

00:58:20.72
Mike
Cool.

00:58:20.96
Bill
um So yeah, I think when, I think in the first of the month is when I get, I think this will be my last month of free books.

00:58:25.21
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:58:26.81
Bill
So hers is going to be the next one that I grab.

00:58:28.87
Mike
Cool.

00:58:29.57
Bill
So I'm like, I'm like, fuck that.

00:58:29.80
Mike
Nice.

00:58:31.14
Bill
And I'm like, I want to listen to it. She was really interesting. It was the other thing. And that's what I wanted to ask you. So did you feel, I felt like Mark was that might be the most, um, I don't know, humble that I've heard him on any of his episodes when they were talking about their, their relationship.

00:58:47.92
Bill
Did you, did you notice that?

00:58:49.56
Mike
Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. i Well, I mean, you know, who clearly a they have a past and so, right.

00:58:54.57
Bill
Right.

00:58:55.60
Mike
You know, it wasn't just like some rando that he's never met before. I mean, he's, you know, had sex with her. So yeah, so it was, um, yeah, uh, humility and, um, and just in an intimacy that he usually doesn't have with other people because clearly they were it a intimate.

00:59:09.77
Bill
Right.

00:59:13.58
Mike
So yeah, you know, no, it was really good.

00:59:14.23
Bill
Right.

00:59:15.93
Mike
So I wanted you to listen to it. It was really good.

00:59:18.59
Bill
Yeah, it was just when he was like his, you know, for anyone who who's never listened to Mark Baron, first of all, what the fuck is wrong with you? You should.

00:59:24.72
Mike
Right? What the fuck?

00:59:25.50
Bill
um hey yeah What the fuck, literally. um But he always does this this open just with himself. They're all prerecorded type of things.

00:59:32.64
Mike
Mhm.

00:59:33.95
Bill
Well, everything is. but

00:59:35.03
Mike
Right.

00:59:35.51
Bill
you know, it'll be recorded f a couple of weeks prior a you know, I don't know a l talks about what's going on but he also leads into the episode.

00:59:37.94
Mike
Right. Mhm.

00:59:43.60
Mike
Right. Mhm.

00:59:45.87
Bill
S he preempted all that you know saying that they had talked about it

00:59:47.70
Mike
Right. Mhm. Mhm.

00:59:49.83
Bill
But um yeah, it got deep in there too. And he had he gets like he goes, yeah, he goes, I wanna make amends. I wanna apologize for that one thing.

00:59:56.13
Mike
Right.

00:59:57.34
Bill
And I'm like, I'm listening to it. So I'm like, this is fucking awesome.

00:59:59.84
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:59:59.98
Bill
you know But you're right. I mean, having that that deep of ah the the intimacy, I guess, and that that's what it was, the intimacy that they had and that their relationship was and the fact that they hadn't sat down um in a setting like that in, I guess since, right?

01:00:05.81
Mike
Sure. Yeah. Mm hmm.

01:00:14.40
Mike
Right.

01:00:16.99
Mike
Right, yeah, pretty much. you know Yeah, I mean, you said they'd run into each other here and there, but they had never actually like yeah spent that much time together and talked about shit and whatever, and they did it on the microphones.

01:00:27.13
Mike
It was very cool to listen to.

01:00:28.56
Bill
Oh, it was I really I mean, I enjoy him in general, but it was a it was a great episode.

01:00:31.87
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:00:34.13
Bill
um You know, but he said that I think he said one part he's like, he goes, I was really glad to find out that I didn't make it into that part of the that.

01:00:42.27
Mike
The book.

01:00:43.10
Bill
Yeah. And she's like, yeah the way that she put that I thought was cool. She said there's, there's certain things that she goes through that are really, really, however, she put it really deep.

01:00:50.98
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:00:51.17
Bill
um that she just keeps to herself really deep and really personal um that she doesn't feel it's her place and you know like everyone else you know that's written books like that you know she said that you know obviously you don't have people gonna get upset anyhow there's certain things that I've said that you know people got upset about anyhow but

01:00:54.21
Mike
Right.

01:01:03.66
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:01:08.41
Bill
But literally, and like I said, that by my point of saying that there had to have been a point is the fact that, um I tell you what, if people listened to that interview and got even closer to the reaction I did, she's going to sell a lot of fucking books.

01:01:20.37
Bill
you know Because she gave just enough.

01:01:23.73
Mike
Right.

01:01:24.47
Bill
It's just like, OK, here's a little sprinkles of everything that happened. And yeah, thanks for coming in. Nice talking to you. Bye. Like, what the? Wait. Wait. yeah But yeah, immediately after i got when I got done listening to it, when I had stopped wherever I was, I looked it up right away.

01:01:40.55
Bill
I'm like, fuck, yep, that's the next one. So I think hopefully by, if not this weekend, but by Monday or Tuesday, I should have that one. so um But yeah, I mean, I i i think I would have listened to it either way.

01:01:51.95
Bill
because I mean, I don't know anything about her. I'm sure I would have either way. But um yeah, I mean, again, I appreciate the the suggestion because it was, oh, it was good.

01:01:55.18
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:01:59.76
Bill
It was really, really good.

01:02:00.02
Mike
It was.

01:02:02.04
Bill
So the, um, one real quick thing on audio books. Do you, what's your opinion of Rob Lowe?

01:02:08.07
Mike
Um. this I mean, you know i've he's all right, I guess. I'm not a huge fan. I'm not gonna go watch something just cuz he's in it.

01:02:18.84
Mike
um Right, I mean, I know he's he's one of us.

01:02:19.14
Bill
Right.

01:02:22.41
Bill
Right.

01:02:22.44
Mike
um's He's got quite a bit of time. I know he got sober real young. um Yeah, I just saw something, I don't know, it was ah I think a real or something. He was talking about sobriety.

01:02:33.34
Mike
I clicked on it, listened for a minute. um Yeah, I don't know why.

01:02:38.08
Bill
Well, when I had brought, I think I had said, and it might've been last episode, I'm like, remind me of the audio book I'm listening to. I'm listening to his his biography.

01:02:44.60
Mike
Hmm. Okay.

01:02:47.34
Bill
you know Because again, I know that I wanna listen to, at some point Robert Downey Jr. has one, because see these are all people that I've heard, you know obviously people have interviewed on different podcasts.

01:02:52.08
Mike
Hmm.

01:02:57.64
Mike
Right.

01:02:57.96
Bill
And I mean, I knew he was sober, but I'll tell you, there he um his story is interesting.

01:03:00.00
Mike
Hmm.

01:03:03.58
Bill
I mean, as you know as a child and how we get into acting, and uh i mean he lived right down the road from amelio and charlie sheen and um you know he met those guys like right away and then chris pen and shon pen all these fucking people were in his neighborhood i'm like really and then you know he starts telling these stories he's talking about something but he's like uh he's like oh yeah that was so and so and i'm like i'm like holy fuck he's just he's met people

01:03:10.38
Mike
Ah.

01:03:14.82
Mike
Uh, right. Yeah.

01:03:28.04
Bill
randomly, you know, and it's to the point they went through the whole he spent a lot of time talking about the outsiders, um which was really interesting.

01:03:28.72
Mike
Right.

01:03:32.32
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:03:36.81
Mike
Cool.

01:03:37.05
Bill
I mean, I know enough about the book, I know enough about the movie, but that's what they were talking about the filming and all that stuff um with Francis and how he was and how everything came together and how everyone got their parts.

01:03:39.62
Mike
Hmm.

01:03:46.54
Bill
And um I was just, kind I don't know, it's it's interesting. I think I still I don't, I might be a little bit over halfway through that one. But um just curiosity, I didn't know what you thought about him is, Um, again, is it, is it actor?

01:03:58.09
Bill
I mean, there's been some movies that I, in TV shows, he was in parks and rec and he was in plenty of things that I, that I saw.

01:04:01.99
Mike
Right.

01:04:04.31
Bill
Um, you know, it's, he's not one of those actors that I'm like, oh, I need, I need to see everything that Rob Lowe's been in.

01:04:08.02
Mike
right Right.

01:04:09.55
Bill
Um, but just, no, just very interesting and has not even gotten to his sobriety yet, but he's leading, he's leading up to it.

01:04:10.71
Mike
Hmm.

01:04:15.95
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:04:17.73
Bill
he's talking about is you know his partying and his women and all these different things and this foreshadowing is like oh yep all this stuff became public and I fucked up my life and you know all this different stuff so it'll be interesting but uh yeah moon moon is my is definitely my next book so

01:04:21.11
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:04:26.47
Mike
if

01:04:30.31
Mike
Cool.

01:04:33.22
Bill
All right, so um I'm just gonna click back or click back, God. um Go back to, I don't even, um I'm gonna read this because I haven't read this recently.

01:04:37.91
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:04:43.61
Bill
So from God grant me, they were talking about craziness in life and trying to calm ourselves when that happens.

01:04:44.89
Mike
Hmm?

01:04:50.72
Bill
What do you do, um Mike, ah to calm yourself when the shit gets crazy?

01:04:59.24
Mike
ah um What do I do to calm myself?

01:05:04.17
Bill
I know. i thought it was It was a thinking one, if nothing else, I thought.

01:05:04.72
Mike
ah Right, right, right. Well, shit gets said thankfully, shit doesn't get too crazy anymore. oh I just, yeah. um That's kind of it. I don't know. I mean, I know crazy cause I was in the middle of it for a very long time. Um, and you know, my life really doesn't get all that crazy when things get a little more churned up than normal. Um, I just, um,

01:05:36.77
Mike
I let them whirl, i yeah basically. you know I accept the fact that shit's getting crazy. it's it's The cool thing is it's not me getting crazy anymore, um so I can just go, whoa, whoa, there's some craziness going on.

01:05:48.05
Bill
Right.

01:05:52.74
Mike
um you know, again, the whole serenity prayer, you know, is there something I could do about it? If there isn't, uh, okay. Um, you know, knowing the difference, if there's something I could do to make the situation better or calm the craziness down or whatever, um, I, I try to help.

01:06:11.07
Mike
Um, and if there isn't anything I could do and it's just going to be fucking crazy cause that's what it is. Um, I let it, but I don't allow it to be in my life or, you know, it doesn't,

01:06:18.81
Bill
Right.

01:06:24.31
Mike
I don't allow it to affect me anymore. You know, I'm certainly not getting drawn into it because I don't want to live that way anymore.

01:06:26.57
Bill
Right.

01:06:30.22
Mike
And I know that I don't have to live that way anymore. So, um, yeah, well that's that kind of a weird answer, but, um,

01:06:39.51
Bill
No, it's not.

01:06:39.46
Mike
You're right. I mean, I mean, right.

01:06:40.78
Bill
I don't think so.

01:06:41.49
Mike
I mean, i I don't I don't engage in craziness at all anymore.

01:06:45.96
Bill
Right.

01:06:46.61
Mike
So if there's craziness going on, um if there's something I could do to stop it or, you know, help it or whatever, I will. But if I can't, then I just fucking let it be crazy and walk away.

01:06:57.63
Mike
um You know, and it's gonna either going to continue to be crazier.

01:06:57.88
Bill
Right.

01:07:00.47
Mike
It's going to burn itself out. But um Yeah, you know, probably going to burn itself out. And I know that. ah So I don't have to engage with it. And I certainly don't have to become crazy because of it.

01:07:13.69
Mike
You know, there's craziness everywhere.

01:07:14.45
Bill
yeah

01:07:15.41
Mike
And um again, I don't live my fucking life that way anymore. So um I don't engage in craziness. That's what I do.

01:07:23.50
Bill
Right.

01:07:23.68
Mike
I don't engage.

01:07:25.35
Bill
And you know it's it's kind of funny because it was a i I didn't think about it until, um and it was one of the first things on my on my list, my new items. you know So I don't even know when I wrote this down a while ago, but I think when I wrote it down, I was thinking about what like me personally when I'm feeling crazy, you know or when I feel a craziness or being overwhelmed type of thing.

01:07:35.01
Mike
Mm-hmm. Hmm.

01:07:46.26
Bill
I think that's how I looked at it.

01:07:46.35
Mike
Hmm. Okay.

01:07:47.90
Bill
um But I mean, i I like the fact, because you brought the the outside part to it, which, I mean, I know we've talked about that briefly before, but I mean, what ah what a great way to look at that is that I'm not allowing it.

01:07:58.64
Bill
I like the fact that that you said it's gonna burn itself out.

01:08:02.13
Mike
Yeah.

01:08:02.26
Bill
yeah it's you know It's like a toddler, sooner or later that toddler's gonna get so fucking tired, he or she's gonna go to sleep, you know?

01:08:02.88
Mike
hu

01:08:06.78
Mike
Yup. Yup.

01:08:09.41
Bill
I mean, it's ah they can't, they can't physically just keep running and and screaming or whatever the hell goes on.

01:08:14.09
Mike
Sure. Yeah. Right.

01:08:16.18
Bill
you know so but not getting drawn into it realizing you don't have to be a part of it realizing you don't have to live that way um and you know again walking away yeah we have that ability to walk away from that shit but on like on a personal side of things and as i just read this now i thought about when when i took a walk the other day you know um because there's when

01:08:27.13
Mike
Yeah. Mm hmm. Right.

01:08:37.44
Bill
And I was, um and I guess maybe I'll look at it this way. I don't get, ah this is not really a word. I always say that I'm i'm not overwhelmed, sure as fuck, never underwhelmed, you know?

01:08:47.53
Mike
sir Right.

01:08:48.48
Bill
um I'm just whelmed at times, you know?

01:08:51.63
Mike
Yes.

01:08:51.73
Bill
And just right in the fucking middle, but I'm like, um usually im I'm on the lower end. If you had the, if if whelmed was in the middle, um I'm on the lower end and the, into the upper edge of underwhelmed.

01:09:03.70
Mike
Yes.

01:09:04.39
Bill
You know because I always get shit going. I always do, you know, we all we all do, you know, and i'm not i'm not fucking unique um But I I refuse and I don't know when I started till well i'm sure it's been since i've been sober but I refuse to ever say that i'm overwhelmed because I don't believe in it.

01:09:06.66
Mike
Yeah. Right.

01:09:20.20
Mike
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

01:09:21.31
Bill
Um, I just don't I don't think that well, maybe it's part of you know, we're never given more blah blah blah people say god never gives you more but um, I do believe that

01:09:26.98
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

01:09:30.68
Bill
Now that we've got clear heads and things like that, I think that we are given enough, we are never given more than we can handle.

01:09:37.60
Mike
Right.

01:09:37.76
Bill
If we can handle it, then it's it's us, not the outside forces. you know um But if if something weird goes on, then I gotta check myself. What can I do?

01:09:49.09
Bill
Do I need to sit here? I don't wanna dwell, I don't wanna stew. And the only way that these days that I know how to do, and I've done it before in the past, you know, is do something.

01:09:59.76
Bill
I'm not a, you know, a kickboxer. I'm not going to go, you know, in a punching bag or anything like that. I'm at that type of exercise.

01:10:06.17
Mike
No, you gotta go climb a fucking mountain.

01:10:08.64
Bill
Yeah. But I mean, what would I do that? i'm I'm never in a bad mood when I'm doing all that stuff.

01:10:11.78
Mike
Right.

01:10:12.80
Bill
But literally I drove, it's like 15 minutes away um to get to get downtown, you know, in this little town.

01:10:12.78
Mike
Right.

01:10:15.75
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:10:18.55
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:10:19.13
Bill
And it's it's a cute little town. It's an old town.

01:10:21.33
Mike
Sure.

01:10:21.61
Bill
And I just I parked my fucking car and I walked, you know,

01:10:24.31
Mike
Nope.

01:10:25.41
Bill
and i'm like okay so i get to i get to go look at some shit nothing it's nothing big it's nothing beautiful um but i just went and i walked and i get to think and i get to burn you know some of the shit out of me and i get to just take care of some of that energy rather than going fucking nuts on myself i mean i'm not going to hit anything i don't need to do that these days you know but i don't i also don't need this nervous fucking energy you know

01:10:29.59
Mike
Mm-hmm. Nope. Well. Mm hmm. Right. Right. Yeah.

01:10:48.35
Bill
Um, but I've said it before on here and I know I've said it outside of this, this thing that we do here is that worst case scenario, if shit's weird, I fucking go to bed.

01:10:52.49
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:10:58.83
Mike
Well, yeah.

01:10:59.60
Bill
Done. You know, I'm done for the night.

01:11:02.06
Mike
Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's you, you asked the question about the craziness, right? And whatever.

01:11:07.67
Bill
Right.

01:11:08.37
Mike
And I didn't even, I didn't even internalize it at all because you know what?

01:11:12.88
Bill
Right.

01:11:13.57
Mike
One of the fucking promises is we will know a new piece and a new serenity.

01:11:18.98
Bill
Right.

01:11:18.95
Mike
And I have this new piece and new serenity. The craziness isn't in me anymore.

01:11:23.39
Bill
Right.

01:11:23.41
Mike
um yeah It's just not. It's not. I have peace and I have serenity. That's new. It's fucking it's a piece in a serenity that I've never had in my life before. And um there's no fucking way some external shit's going to take that away from me.

01:11:38.25
Mike
ever.

01:11:38.31
Bill
Right.

01:11:38.87
Mike
So, um, yeah, so i it didn't even occur to me that the craziness would be coming from me because it just doesn't anymore.

01:11:47.12
Bill
right

01:11:47.09
Mike
You know, not that I'm fucking perfect and whatever I can still be a dick and get all that fun stuff. But, um, yeah, but the the absolute insanity does not come from me anymore because it's not fucking in me anymore.

01:11:59.94
Bill
Right. Yeah. And that's the thing that I mean, when I when I did that, it's just it is it's um I don't feel nuts and I'm not, you know, I'm not feeling crazy or going crazy. It's just this, um you know, part of my part of my well, one of my defects, I guess, is just um I do that.

01:12:16.51
Bill
I trip out over things, you know, um and I overthink things every once in a while. But but then, you know, what I everything that I always go back to and like today I said I had I had a great day, you know, great day money wise.

01:12:27.59
Mike
Right. Uh

01:12:29.01
Bill
And, you know, I had all these payments, I mean, probably, it's just a ah huge payment date, you know?

01:12:34.01
Mike
-huh.

01:12:34.76
Bill
And I had messaged my boss because he had to do something on one of the and one of the the payments that I got, nothing big, you know, part of our process.

01:12:42.68
Mike
Right.

01:12:43.16
Bill
And I'm like, i'm like ah you know, he said, good job. I said, well, I said, finally, the stuff's coming in. And he said, you know, I sit better late than everybody. He's like, yeah, definitely, you know, but it's i mean just one more day in the left in the month, right? not going to hit the goal or anything like that.

01:12:55.38
Bill
But I mean, this helps me save a little bit of the face, make a little bit more money, all this stuff.

01:12:58.60
Mike
Right, right.

01:12:59.81
Bill
But the thing of it is, and and here's what I always come back to, and whether it's work or whether it's anything else, I have not done anything differently during these slow times. you know There's nothing I've done.

01:13:11.38
Bill
I haven't worked less. I haven't slacked off. I haven't done any of these things. I'm doing the same goddamn thing every single day.

01:13:17.60
Mike
Right.

01:13:17.83
Bill
And then today was when, and these are all people I've been working on for a couple of weeks.

01:13:22.83
Mike
ah

01:13:23.35
Bill
You know, and over time, a couple of them, I've only had a couple of phone calls, but theyre like, oh yeah, I'm just going to take care of this today and take care of this today and blah, blah, blah, and all the shit's coming in. You know, so it is all these things happen. It's just the problem is it'd be nice.

01:13:36.74
Bill
If there was a little bit more in the middle part, and if it was a little bit more evened out, but that's not fucking life, right?

01:13:38.53
Mike
Uh huh.

01:13:42.55
Mike
Right. Exactly. Yeah. You know, well, so basically what you're saying is you've been doing the footwork and uh you did the fruition came after you did the footwork.

01:13:52.83
Bill
Yeah, exactly.

01:13:53.32
Mike
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

01:13:54.26
Bill
Yeah. It's what we always talk about. and And the thing of it is, is that it just, I get, I'm i'm in an atmosphere and i can I can usually rise above this stuff because I understand what our manager has to deal with.

01:14:05.78
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:14:06.05
Bill
You know, some of the other people and not not everyone has the the mindset and the motivation that I do.

01:14:11.07
Mike
Sure.

01:14:11.18
Bill
I don't give a flying fuck what the company wants from me. I really don't. I know what they want and I know what I have to do every day and I do it for me.

01:14:16.42
Mike
Right.

01:14:18.57
Bill
I'm a selfish motherfucker and if I'm doing everything for me as if this were my own business because that's how I my when I'm sitting down on my computer, it's my business.

01:14:19.97
Mike
Right.

01:14:26.08
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.

01:14:28.07
Bill
um I'm never going to do anything wrong.

01:14:30.30
Mike
Right.

01:14:30.55
Bill
You know, not intentionally.

01:14:31.29
Mike
Yeah. Right.

01:14:32.27
Bill
I'm always going to do all the right things, you know, so, but not everyone's like that.

01:14:33.44
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:14:36.23
Bill
And I realize that. So he's always got every once in a while, you know, through these group messages, it's a, it's a poke here. It's a this, that little bit of, you know, most of the time he's 90% of the time he's positive, but every once in a while he'll throw out some negative motivation.

01:14:42.48
Mike
Right.

01:14:48.39
Bill
I'm like, Hey motherfucker. you know because i yeah we talked about it. it's Again, that's a huge problem for me to this day. If somebody shoots negative shit on me, like, like oh, you're acting like, or you're somebody says something bad to me, I wanna do the opposite then.

01:14:57.98
Mike
Right.

01:15:03.70
Mike
Oh, yeah, absolutely.

01:15:05.87
Bill
Even if I, to this day, even if I know it's gonna hurt me, like, okay, listen motherfucker, listen what I can do.

01:15:07.55
Mike
Right. right he You want to see some bad behavior, motherfucker, I'll show you.

01:15:14.41
Bill
yeah Yeah, you have no fucking clue, dude.

01:15:17.27
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:15:17.91
Bill
ah No clue, none.

01:15:20.56
Mike
Right.

01:15:20.74
Bill
ah You wanna to see some fucking crazy? I'm storing it up just for you.

01:15:23.52
Mike
z Oh yeah, right.

01:15:27.05
Bill
But no, I mean, really what, and I'm glad you brought that up though, because, and that's a good way to put it. I don't i didn't feel like there's craziness inside of me. um I do need to, I need to recognize my own, um again, that anxious energy, that nervous energy,

01:15:42.91
Bill
that the thing that the problem that I have of of stuffing things, and and I do internalize things, I do.

01:15:47.14
Mike
Uh, sure.

01:15:48.98
Bill
you know And I've done it for years, I'm cognizant of it, and I know when I need to go take a fucking walk or sometimes just you know watch something on TV, it's it doesn't doesn't take much.

01:15:53.97
Mike
Right.

01:15:56.57
Mike
Yeah.

01:15:57.82
Bill
you know um Never a thought in my mind where it used to be like, I'm gonna go slam a couple of beers because that's gonna be cool.

01:15:58.47
Mike
Right.

01:16:03.62
Mike
Right. Of course.

01:16:06.24
Bill
That's gonna even me out, but yeah, I'm gonna do all that stuff.

01:16:07.66
Mike
Yup.

01:16:09.21
Bill
so But yeah, I'm glad he brought up the external too, because I've got two different, definitely two different looks at that, so I appreciate that. All right, so um this one is from Keep It Simple.

01:16:20.91
Bill
Again, I haven't read these things in a long time, so I have no idea.

01:16:23.11
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:16:24.70
Bill
um We say we have a program for living. Are we living? Are we living our program? We'll find the answer in our behavior.

01:16:32.02
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:16:33.66
Bill
Sober people act in sober ways, okay?

01:16:36.29
Mike
Right.

01:16:37.03
Bill
So in parentheses, my question to you, Mike, ah what does that mean to you?

01:16:39.82
Mike
Is.

01:16:43.34
Bill
Sober people act in sober ways.

01:16:46.55
Mike
Uh, again, the crazy, right? You don't act. Yeah, exactly. You acted several ways. You don't, you're not fucking emotional, you know, uh, run by your feelings anymore. That's, that's what sobriety is to me. I'm not, I know what the right thing is and I do the right thing most of the time. And, uh, right. Um,

01:17:12.83
Mike
i yeah you know exactly i'm not ruled by my emotions yes i get tired yes i get angry yes i get sad yes i get whatever um but again none of that controls the way i act anymore i act from the principles i act from the absolutes i act from what I'm supposed to do being a good boy, do you know, and it doesn't matter what my fucking mood is because my mood is going to change. Um, yeah, that's going to burn itself out too. Uh, yeah, so exactly. That's, um, be acting sober is acting sober, not out of control and, and, and, and emotional. There's no point in that.

01:17:58.03
Bill
Right. Yeah, just when, and yeah, no idea, I never know any or have any idea when I write these things down, but I just like that, you know, sober people act in sober ways. And it reminded me of, and I'm sure it was Bob, you know, from who do you know, or Joe or somebody that had, you know, said that, you know, yeah, you would say to somebody you'd hear him talk, talking in the meeting or something like that, you know,

01:18:08.45
Mike
Right. Uh huh.

01:18:22.37
Bill
you know you're you're not acting sober or you're not you know you're not living like a sober person or whatever the case is. And you know and we talked about that, that you can be, so you know take you and I, 14 years and almost 14 and a half years of, you know with no substances within us.

01:18:35.07
Mike
Right.

01:18:37.76
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:18:38.20
Bill
um you know but What does that actually mean? you know i mean Okay, so that that part's a given. We haven't had any substances, but you know then what are we doing?

01:18:44.76
Mike
Yeah.

01:18:47.67
Bill
you know are we Are we living you know a sober life? Are we being decent people all the time?

01:18:52.33
Mike
Right.

01:18:53.13
Bill
Because you know i mean either one of us, um well, anyone probably, but just talking for us, I know that either one of us could be straight if we're not careful. you know It doesn't mean we're gonna drink again, but

01:19:03.08
Mike
Sure. Right.

01:19:05.45
Bill
If we're not doing the things, if we're not acting like sober people every day, getting up, being grateful, doing our readings, doing our prayers, doing this shit every week, you know?

01:19:11.02
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Right.

01:19:14.14
Bill
um Sooner or later, it's going to get to the point where we may not drink right away. We may never drink, but we're going to go through this fucking terrible valley, yeah a valley of despair and unhappiness.

01:19:20.54
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah.

01:19:28.10
Bill
So um yeah.

01:19:29.64
Mike
And I mean, and for me, um I'm gonna fucking drink, you know, if I stop

01:19:33.83
Bill
Right.

01:19:35.96
Mike
doing the next right thing. and And again, you know, all the the rituals and whatever that we do, you know, that's the readings, the meditations, finding, taking that time out of the day every day to be grateful for something and all that stuff, all that stuff that we do. Right. If I start slacking on that stuff, that's,

01:19:53.55
Mike
That's it, man. I mean, yeah ah we've talked about it. We've seen it so many times.

01:19:57.65
Bill
Right.

01:19:58.21
Mike
You stop. You stop doing that stuff. And all of a sudden, eh, you know, if I don't need to do this and I don't need to do that, then I'm picking up a drink eventually. I am. I know I am.

01:20:08.35
Bill
Right.

01:20:09.20
Mike
Right. Because that's this is what keeps me from picking up that drink. I know that. I'm thoroughly convinced of that. And if I stop doing this stuff, if I stop living this way, if I stop living like a sober person, yeah, like you said, you know, it's not going to happen today or tomorrow. um ah you know've I've got some insurance built up, absolutely. But if I stop doing this stuff, then I don't have a choice.

01:20:36.48
Mike
You know, the choice I have today is to do this shit or not. I choose to do it.

01:20:40.84
Bill
Right.

01:20:41.01
Mike
Um, but if I, so if I choose not to do this stuff, then I will not have a choice and I will pick up. I will get loaded again. I know that I'm going to have to, cause I'm not going to have that, that defense against it.

01:20:54.05
Mike
You know, I'm going to be fucking miserable and I'm going to be, or I'm going to off myself or whatever, you know? Um, yeah, it's no, thank you.

01:21:02.85
Bill
Right.

01:21:02.80
Mike
No, no, I'm gonna do this shit. you know I choose to do this stuff today. It is a choice, it's a freedom, but it's it's it's but it's not you know because I'm an alcoholic and it's either choose to do this stuff or not have a choice and do the other stuff. I know, I've lived it. That's what I am. I'm an alcoholic and I'm a drug addict and I'm going to use drugs and drink if I don't do this shit that these people taught me to do.

01:21:31.10
Mike
Um, and so I'm going to do it, you know, I choose to do it. Um, but I also know that if I choose not to do it, then I'm not going to have a fucking choice.

01:21:39.30
Bill
Right.

01:21:39.91
Mike
Yeah.

01:21:40.81
Bill
Yeah, you know it's it's kind of funny when when you said that you know it's probably not going to be today or tomorrow, but eventually, that but what completely popped into my head, there was two things. First thing was, I'm like, what if it was today or tomorrow?

01:21:52.73
Bill
I mean, I don't know you know.

01:21:52.78
Mike
Right. Right.

01:21:53.95
Bill
I mean, seriously, it's just, you know and I just, that made me really uncomfortable because I'm like, God, what if?

01:21:54.68
Mike
Oh, yep. Right. it Could be.

01:21:59.26
Mike
Mm. Good.

01:22:00.55
Bill
yeah No, I know, but that that's the point. you know is that is Am I being, I'll just speak for myself.

01:22:02.62
Mike
Right.

01:22:06.49
Bill
I don't mean this in a bad way, but Am I being held on you know so by such a thin thread in a really, really good thin thread?

01:22:11.64
Mike
Mm. Mm. Yeah.

01:22:14.38
Bill
you know um But that if I take it away, could would two days be it? Would it be three?

01:22:18.64
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:19.35
Bill
I don't want to fucking find out.

01:22:20.42
Mike
Yeah, me neither.

01:22:21.18
Bill
But then but then the other thing was is that I remember, again, very early, we were still probably 30 days sober somewhere in that area, that this guy talked about his, and I know I brought it up before, but

01:22:26.24
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:22:31.80
Bill
he talked about his his prayers and his routine and and that sort of thing and he said like his prayers for instance i think he was talking about that he said that i will never take away from them he goes i'll add to it but he goes i'm afraid he goes what if that what if that one thing is what what's holding me together and i'm like i'm like son of a bitch

01:22:34.89
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:22:42.32
Mike
Right.

01:22:46.43
Mike
Right.

01:22:50.41
Mike
he Right.

01:22:52.69
Bill
and i And I mean seriously, you know, and we we joke about we joke about the pizza and the bacon our bed and and that sort of thing.

01:22:57.01
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:22:58.85
Bill
So, the things that you know that the spite to joke but hey, you know, I mean the spite is important we talk.

01:23:01.75
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:23:04.99
Bill
but we

01:23:05.08
Mike
It's not that much. or It's a joke, but it's not.

01:23:07.60
Bill
Right, I agree with you. Making the bed, since the day I got sober, I've never missed making my bed, ever.

01:23:13.13
Mike
Right. Right.

01:23:13.86
Bill
I've gone Friday nights without pizza, you know, when either been with people, been with things.

01:23:16.04
Mike
Hmm. Hmm. Right. Sure.

01:23:19.18
Bill
Did I tell you what I had for dinner when I went out to dinner with Katie and Derek when they were up in Niagara?

01:23:23.87
Mike
Now.

01:23:26.20
Bill
It was a Friday, you know, because you and I recorded on Thursday, they came in, when they got here, I'm like, oh, we're going to go up and have dinner.

01:23:28.64
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah.

01:23:31.22
Bill
They had pizza and stuff like that.

01:23:32.32
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:23:32.46
Bill
I'm like, I'm not going to order a whole pizza. They had a pizza burger.

01:23:35.71
Mike
Ah, right.

01:23:37.69
Bill
Swear to God I got a pizza burger.

01:23:39.05
Mike
Yep.

01:23:39.46
Bill
Horrible fucking heartburn. Horrible. Just fucking horrible. It's probably the spices and the meat and the sauce, but it was good. It wasn't bad.

01:23:47.27
Mike
Right.

01:23:48.62
Bill
but um But all those sort of things, it scares the fuck out of me to think that, um i I mean, I wanna do these things because I like how I feel, I like the life and all those sort of things. um But it does, I don't wanna stop doing any of this, what if?

01:24:00.57
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:24:01.90
Bill
And I mean, now i read I read four books in the morning, okay?

01:24:04.62
Mike
Right.

01:24:05.72
Bill
I could go down to three, I think, but I'm not going to go i'm never gonna go down to three.

01:24:07.02
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

01:24:11.33
Mike
Right.

01:24:11.84
Bill
i Can't now In enemy i mean no shit I sit down I swear to God every fucking day I sit down by I get up at whatever like the top of the hour whatever wherever I'm at After I you know, it's start my coffee go to the bathroom brush my teeth put my context and sit down to do my reading it's it's literally 20 minutes.

01:24:12.81
Mike
Right.

01:24:23.06
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:32.17
Bill
Okay, by the time i I sit down and by the time I do I do I read four books I do a set of prayers and then I close out always with the the seven-step prayer and Okay, all of that takes me 15 minutes every day.

01:24:32.31
Mike
yeah

01:24:34.56
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:41.56
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:24:44.36
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:24:46.96
Bill
That's it. Because by by 35 minutes after the hour, that's when I use the smoke, I go out and have a cigarette.

01:24:47.60
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:51.48
Mike
Yep.

01:24:52.58
Bill
Now I go out hit my fape, I come back in, I do, you know, I pop on Facebook, I go through our, you know, my page on there, I go on Instagram, this and that, that's another by the time I get in there, that's another 15 minutes.

01:24:54.00
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:25:02.93
Bill
But that's my time, you know, for doing that shit.

01:25:03.44
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

01:25:05.63
Bill
Um, but literally 15 minutes a day and I'm, I'm reading and prayers and I'm like, I'm doing quote unquote all this stuff.

01:25:07.30
Mike
Yep.

01:25:12.98
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:25:13.23
Bill
Why, why would I take out a three minute book or a two minute reading?

01:25:16.13
Mike
Right. see Yeah.

01:25:18.35
Bill
Cause and I'm not fucking around that scares me to death.

01:25:20.83
Mike
Right. I know.

01:25:22.03
Bill
I can't, I will not.

01:25:22.42
Mike
Yep. Yeah.

01:25:24.32
Bill
Oh, I'll replace it with a book.

01:25:25.91
Mike
Yeah. Right. That's why it's funny, man. That's probably why I've never grabbed that fourth book.

01:25:29.47
Bill
yeah yeah

01:25:31.72
Mike
Cause right. I rotate that third one, but I did right. You know, exactly. I didn't ever added that fourth one cause I don't want to fucking have to, I don't want four.

01:25:39.67
Bill
yeah

01:25:41.25
Mike
I only want three. yeah

01:25:42.82
Bill
yeah you know what You know what got me into the fourth book is the, now I can't even think of it, it was the online, I used to get a daily reading from an online website.

01:25:51.06
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:25:52.80
Bill
um I can't remember what it was, but then they they started, they stopped doing the daily reading.

01:25:57.88
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:25:58.31
Bill
So basically I could, I think I got there, it was an app or whatever, I could go to the website, I could do it every day.

01:26:04.53
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:26:04.90
Bill
But so the, I was getting an email from it every day. So technically it was a reading, but it wasn't a book.

01:26:09.85
Mike
Right.

01:26:10.37
Bill
And then so i started doing that religiously everyday.

01:26:12.55
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:26:13.58
Bill
Then i'm like so that became part of the whatever i'm like i started to get sick of it cuz there's a lot of repeats and this and that the bottom line in there just it was a whole bunch of different things again i can't remember the name of the website but then i'm like i'm like i'm gonna check out a different hazel the books so that that got me into the fourth book.

01:26:16.40
Mike
Right.

01:26:19.49
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:26:29.67
Mike
Hehehehehehe.

01:26:31.55
Bill
and And I've been i've been you know with it ever since. you know and it's And it's cool.

01:26:34.10
Mike
Yeah. Right.

01:26:35.29
Bill
And I love every one of them. And you know I might switch out the the one that I would switch out is I read a day at a time.

01:26:36.61
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:26:41.08
Bill
I've been doing that for probably, shit, that one, maybe three years.

01:26:43.03
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:26:45.99
Bill
Two, two at least, if not three.

01:26:46.78
Mike
Right. Right.

01:26:49.05
Bill
I'd flip that one out to another one. But my my top three, I'll never flip out.

01:26:50.95
Mike
Sure. Right.

01:26:53.11
Bill
I read the same three that you do.

01:26:53.31
Mike
Yeah.

01:26:54.74
Bill
you know So.

01:26:54.85
Mike
Yeah. Right. this

01:26:57.64
Bill
Yep, scared of change, but in in this case, it's ah it's a good so it's a good fear of change, right?

01:27:03.14
Mike
Right. Exactly. Right. And it's not even changed. It's, it's again, the subtraction that we know is bad.

01:27:11.30
Bill
Right?

01:27:12.45
Mike
Right. Like like you said, first 30 days, man, you know, I add, I'll add to it, but I will not take anything away. Right. And it's same thing, man. What if it's that one thing? What if it is that goddamn pizza on Friday night?

01:27:25.05
Bill
All right.

01:27:25.59
Mike
Right.

01:27:26.32
Bill
right

01:27:26.41
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:27.75
Bill
Yeah, and there's a, it's funny because there's a, the only, there's one part of my prayers that I'll, that I'll, well, two parts. The one part that I adjust, there's certain people that if I know they're going through some shit, I kind of add like almost like, I hate to say it, almost like a special intention.

01:27:39.51
Mike
Sure.

01:27:42.26
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:27:42.86
Bill
It's, it's not really that, but I'll say, you know, the prayers too. And then the, like, there's, you know, sometimes two, three people that are going through some whatever.

01:27:45.41
Mike
Sure.

01:27:48.30
Bill
So I, I throw some vibes out at them, you know?

01:27:48.53
Mike
Right. Right.

01:27:51.10
Bill
um But that'll rotate every once in a while. But that's that's a piece.

01:27:52.79
Mike
Yeah, ahha yeah,

01:27:54.66
Bill
you know I don't take away the piece. I just take away the whatever. But dumb I don't know. it's just it's Again, it's a it's a healthy um it's a healthy superstition, whatever you want to call it.

01:28:05.50
Bill
It's healthy for us to not subtract any of this fucking shit.

01:28:05.71
Mike
Uh huh.

01:28:08.46
Bill
Keep doing it.

01:28:08.43
Mike
Right. Exactly.

01:28:09.63
Bill
All goddamn.

01:28:09.71
Mike
Healthy fears. I was just talking to Chris about that this, this week.

01:28:10.96
Bill
Yes.

01:28:13.54
Mike
Yeah. It was a completely different subject, but yes, I was applying what I've learned in this shit to something else. And yeah, exactly. There's nothing wrong with healthy fears.

01:28:24.47
Bill
right Right.

01:28:24.49
Mike
Absolutely not. You know, that's a, I want to be scared. I got to remember ah the the fucking terror that it is my disease.

01:28:34.03
Bill
Right, yeah, it it it is. We laugh at it, but man, that's it's a fucking truth, man. It it really is, so. All right, well, you know what? I don't know. I was gonna say we did good work.

01:28:44.37
Bill
We never do good work. We do some sort of work here.

01:28:45.19
Mike
Now we do work.

01:28:47.13
Bill
We filled an hour, well, we filled time. We filled time.

01:28:50.53
Mike
We did.

01:28:51.70
Bill
So um yeah, i think I think at this point, Mike, it's your turn.

01:28:56.13
Mike
Yes. Oh, well, thank you, Bill. And thank you, all of you for listening to another episode of sober, not mature. So always be kind to each other, begin to each other, go out there and do something nice for somebody else this week and don't tell anybody you did it. Make somebody smile. All right, now from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time to the ends of the word earth, always and eternally, fuck you.

01:29:23.46
Mike
and now it's time to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with the sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here. Climb over that gate, dream the impossible dream, and keep fucking off forever.

01:29:41.43
Bill
And by the way, and I didn't think about it until probably Wednesday, I think, but I shot Gia text and i'm like I'm like, oh, by the way, I said, Mike read your thing from Facebook and she, you know, as it is probably half hour, 45 minutes later, she's like, yay, I'm gonna listen.

01:29:45.02
Mike
yeah Ah. Uh-huh.

01:29:56.05
Mike
it Well good, we got another play out of it.

01:29:58.07
Bill
yeah Yeah exactly so ah but I said yeah it was fun you know I said I didn't know I said I completely forgot about it till you you know till you pulled it out at the end but I'm like yeah he still did his normal one but he said you know did that one too and I told her I'm like yeah I think we might it's up to you but I think we might you know keep both of them in there because they're fun you know so yeah she got a she got a kick out of it so we we made yeah you know what I literally

01:29:59.17
Mike
Yay.

01:30:16.40
Mike
I believe so. Well, we can't take it away now. Well get fucking drunk man That's

01:30:26.65
Bill
I know literally as we were just talking about that, I'm like, I wasn't going to say it, but I'm like, yeah, you're kind of fucking stuck because you started it. You started it.

01:30:32.95
Mike
right Cool

01:30:35.38
Bill
All right, man. So well everyone that's that's missed your radio gig, I'm going to wish you well to your radio gig. I'm going to listen to it. i'm gonna I got nothing else to fucking do tomorrow except for

01:30:44.59
Mike
he

01:30:45.43
Bill
put this together I'm gonna drive the Georgia and grab some pizza. That sounds like a long way it's not. yeah Then I'm gonna sit around and do fucking nothing while I listen to you wrap, wrap your mouth around whatever it is.

01:30:55.28
Mike
Good. That's right. yeah Wrap my mouth around some metal.

01:30:58.41
Bill
Wrap your mouth around a microphone.

01:31:03.52
Bill
All right, man, I love you, brother.

01:31:05.10
Mike
Love you too.

01:31:06.52
Bill
And yeah, we'll talk soon, right?

01:31:07.94
Mike
We shall.

01:31:08.88
Bill
All righty, bye.

01:31:10.63
Mike
Bye.