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Nov. 30, 2024
SoberNotMature - Episode 145 (Polishing Our Silver Knobs)
This week we have our Gratitude Episode! And it's the 3rd Annual Gratitude Episode. (that makes it sound more special)
Mike started off with his reading and as you may have guessed, it's about gratitude. It talked about not always appreciating what we have and always wanting more, rather than simply enjoying what we have and enjoying the moments. We had a good conversation.
Then on to a variety of topics, such as throbbing treasures, The Steps, perfectionism, Al Pacino, is addiction hereditary, talking too much, are we working a good program, social anxiety, Billy Bob Thornton and finally an article about chickens and cocaine.
Could there be more? Possibly, but you will have to listen and find out.
Enjoy the episode.
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Store www.sobernotmatureshop.com
Transcript
00:00:01.43
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome once again to another episode of Sober, not mature. And hopefully all you motherfuckers are ready to get grateful today because this is our, this is our, art can you believe it? Our third annual gratitude episode.
00:00:17.11
Mike
Wow, almost sounds like it's something.
00:00:20.10
Bill
Yeah, it sounds like we've been around for a couple of minutes, ah whether that's been.
00:00:22.74
Mike
Yeah, well that we have.
00:00:24.84
Bill
or But has it been quality time.
00:00:29.99
Bill
yeah Just because we've been sober for a bit just because we've been, you know, fucking yapping on a goddamn podcast for a little bit ah doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing but
00:00:35.96
Mike
Right.
00:00:38.66
Mike
Right. Well, I mean, you know, what are you paying for? It's time. but It's all you deserve. It's all I just deserve.
00:00:44.92
Bill
right right yeah exactly and none of you guys have well unless you bought something from us you know t-shirt or coffee mug or something like that but other than that yeah this is ah even if it's garbage it's free garbage so you're fucking welcome
00:00:52.68
Mike
Right.
00:00:56.64
Mike
he That's right.
00:01:00.08
Bill
But yeah, this is kind of weird. This is a this is a matinee episode for oh for Mike and I. But yes, it's Black Friday.
00:01:07.34
Mike
It is.
00:01:08.96
Bill
Neither one of us ah have to work today. So that's number one on the gratitude list.
00:01:12.11
Mike
Right.
00:01:12.52
Bill
we We don't have to work today and we're both getting paid.
00:01:14.75
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:15.43
Bill
So that that's nice. But um yeah, so yeah, my text to me was a few hours ago and you're like, yeah.
00:01:19.71
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. This morning. Right. About 10 30. I mean, I fell, I didn't get up until ah nine 30, almost 10 o'clock.
00:01:26.64
Bill
right but yeah it's just kind of like uh so you're you're going to see a band tonight huh nice well that's good
00:01:31.78
Mike
I am. Yes. Fellow Detroiters band called sponge. They had a couple of hits in the nineties, early 2000s. Oh hell. I don't know. A while ago, probably early 2000s. I think about it. I don't know. Late nineties. Shit. Anyway, I could probably Google it, but I'm not going to.
00:01:54.15
Bill
Right. Yeah. Well, time fucking flies. But yeah, that was a point. You're like, you know, I don't know what you're up to today, but hey, I want i like want to go see a band tonight. Do you want to record early? And I'm like, fuck, I got nothing to do. I've done.
00:02:03.55
Mike
Right. Plus I have to go feed cats here in a couple hours and, uh, yeah, Chris is down visiting her son in, uh, South Carolina with her daughter.
00:02:08.63
Bill
Oh, yeah.
00:02:14.57
Mike
So there's nobody there to feed cats. So, uh, guess what I get to do. I get to be there for someone else today.
00:02:20.99
Bill
Right, so, yes, I was just gonna say that could be something else that we can add to the to the gratitude list.
00:02:20.99
Mike
Grateful for that.
00:02:27.18
Bill
But yeah, like I said, you know it was kind of funny, I popped into one of the clips we had, I think from the, and it hadn't been from two years ago when when we did it, it just, you know again, all this shit comes up on our Facebook memories.
00:02:27.20
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:02:38.26
Bill
And um it was the you know the opening to our our first gratitude episode. And it was just kind of like, I'm like, ah we don't have really any plan or whatever. And I'm like, God, yeah, we still don't have any fucking plan.
00:02:47.81
Mike
No, right.
00:02:49.79
Bill
I mean, that and not for any episode.
00:02:50.53
Mike
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
00:02:53.41
Bill
Yeah, we don't have a plan for a gratitude episode, any fucking episode, let alone you know let alone a gratitude episode. But hey, I think, if I'm if i'm not mistaken, we'll probably do a reading though.
00:03:03.59
Bill
Oh, real quick as a side note, it was kind of fun.
00:03:04.77
Mike
Yes.
00:03:05.96
Bill
So the 24-hour book, I don't know if you noticed yesterday when you read it, um the Thanksgiving Day post was actually on Thanksgiving.
00:03:08.85
Mike
Hmm.
00:03:12.54
Mike
Right. I did.
00:03:13.36
Bill
And I'm like, Yeah, I'm like, well, that's kind of fucking nice.
00:03:16.79
Mike
Right.
00:03:17.04
Bill
I'm sure it's happened in the last 14 years. but
00:03:20.59
Mike
Hmm. Yeah. I mean, I, I don't know. Um, you know, I mean, clearly, um, whatever six years it's on the same day of the week. Um, but Thanksgiving is so screwy that I don't know.
00:03:34.38
Mike
Maybe, maybe not.
00:03:36.16
Bill
Right.
00:03:36.70
Mike
Yeah. Anyway, but it happened yesterday. So there, let's be grateful for that.
00:03:42.55
Bill
yeah We're just gonna throw a random shit. Hey, I didn't I didn't shit myself today.
00:03:44.61
Mike
Right.
00:03:46.64
Bill
I'm grateful for that Hey, I woke up this morning, you know, even though you woke up a little bit later than normal, but that was on purpose So you're grateful for that.
00:03:46.88
Mike
Hey. yeah Right. since Yeah, I am.
00:03:54.58
Bill
So Yeah, so I guess we'll just we'll just start rattle on shit that we're grateful of hey I I have I'm drinking coffee right now.
00:04:00.66
Mike
Hey.
00:04:02.73
Bill
I'm grateful for that
00:04:03.13
Mike
Hmm. Right. i've I've got an Arizona energy right next to me. I'm grateful for that.
00:04:08.41
Bill
Hey, speaking of Arizona, no, I've got actually, I'll talk about, I've got starting to build that Phoenix strip, but i'll I'll talk about that later.
00:04:12.27
Mike
Yeah. Ah, cool.
00:04:15.20
Bill
But that's, that'll be part of my gratitude thing, I think so. But anyhow, why, you know what, why don't we, why don't we do a reading?
00:04:20.21
Mike
Anyhow.
00:04:22.18
Bill
We we still do these in um in a matinee episode, is that?
00:04:22.62
Mike
Well,
00:04:24.98
Mike
Sure. Yeah. Right. Well, you said we have no plan and, um, that's not a hundred percent true because I grabbed the books and what, you know what, I better look up gratitude as a subject because there was a little thing in the back that you can do that.
00:04:39.41
Bill
Right.
00:04:39.59
Mike
And, um, yeah, so I, I kind of planned. I, I looked up for the gratitude readings and found one that I'm pretty sure we haven't chaired before.
00:04:50.13
Mike
And, uh, so here we go.
00:04:53.63
Bill
Cool.
00:04:54.33
Mike
Alright, this is, this is from Keep It Simple. um And it is April 26th.
00:05:05.61
Mike
And oh, I forgot to look up who the hell this quote's from. Oh, well. um Let's see. See, not 100% planned. Just a little bit. All right. April 26th. Too many people missed the silver lining because they're expecting gold. Some guy named Maurice Setter. You can Google it. I've done enough work today.
00:05:26.32
Mike
Ah, let's see. his Silver shines just as bright as gold does. So often we forget this. So often we push, push, push. We forget to live for the moment. Trying too hard can be a defective character. It can be way a way we avoid life.
00:05:47.19
Mike
Gratitude, being thankful, is a key part of recovery. Not just gratitude for getting our self-respect back, not just gratitude for having a higher power, but gratitude for the moment. We're alive again. Let's see each moment as a time to explore life.
00:06:06.35
Mike
Prayer for the day. Higher power. Thanks for helping me to enjoy each moment. I have gratitude for being alive. Action for the day. I'll list 10 gifts of recovery for which I have gratitude.
00:06:24.29
Bill
Holy fuck.
00:06:25.05
Mike
10.
00:06:26.15
Bill
Jesus Christ.
00:06:27.36
Mike
Right.
00:06:28.14
Bill
Oh, oh my god.
00:06:29.12
Mike
Well, one of the other ones I read, cause like I said, I went through it. One of them was like, list all the things you're grateful for while I'm not doing that
00:06:38.60
Bill
So that might've been, um that might've been today or the last couple of days. I remember that. I think there might've been a reading today which said make a list of or list all these things. There might've been a 10 list thing, whatever it was.
00:06:50.34
Mike
ah
00:06:50.50
Bill
Anytime I, yeah, it kind of gives me a, not a headache, but I'm just like, oh my gosh, you know, 10, 10, really?
00:06:53.37
Mike
listen
00:06:56.13
Mike
ten
00:06:56.31
Bill
I got to come up with 10 fucking things and I'm gifts of recovery?
00:06:59.38
Mike
Well, I mean, you know, okay, we've already what done coffee and waking up in Arizona, not shitting ourselves.
00:06:59.41
Bill
Jesus Christ.
00:07:04.81
Bill
Not shitting ourselves, not shitting ourselves.
00:07:07.16
Mike
Right. So what that's four already.
00:07:09.42
Bill
Yeah, there you go.
00:07:09.52
Mike
Yeah. So we only got six to go.
00:07:12.60
Bill
But um yeah, so I mean, just in just in general, I guess, ah on a serious note, even the, ah I don't know, top one or two, top one, two or three things that that you consider to be your, you know, top list of of gifts of recovery.
00:07:26.74
Mike
Right. Well, I easy is, uh, the first one is freedom. You know, I'm not a slave anymore, which is pretty goddamn nice.
00:07:31.55
Bill
Right.
00:07:35.86
Mike
Um, I'll take that. ah Um, yeah, you know, family, friends, ah people, um, that, that I allow in my life today, they don't have the good ones.
00:07:49.39
Mike
Um, Yeah. Uh, you know, roof over my head, car in the driveway, job, you know, couple of couple, literally couple of dollars in the bank.
00:08:00.44
Mike
Um, but Hey man, you know, it's, I mean, there were, I, I, there were times in my life where I had nothing, literally nothing.
00:08:07.97
Bill
Right?
00:08:09.53
Mike
Um, you know, I could probably try to get somebody to buy the shirt off my back, but I don't think I'd find any takers. So, um, Oh yeah. I mean,
00:08:20.33
Mike
grateful for tons of shit, man. How about you, Bill?
00:08:24.59
Bill
over to you bill But yeah, you know, the the and we've talked about it plenty, but the just the freedom is always ah is always ah a big one and one one that we talk about a lot and, you know, the the family and the friends and the relationships and the the the wrongs we've been able to um at least try to correct and at least correct going forward.
00:08:32.44
Mike
Yep.
00:08:44.38
Bill
You know, you can't can't fix the past, but we've we've been able to to right the wrongs going forward.
00:08:44.90
Mike
Right.
00:08:51.07
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:08:51.29
Bill
but you know that the thing that when you said freedom and you were talking i wrote down choices and you know that in and of itself i mean it doesn't matter i mean we ah hopefully you know but most days and most times we choose you know positive things and the next right thing and whatever but we do we have choices these days you know and you know when i again back to some of these things you hear people behind the podium they're like
00:08:55.60
Mike
me
00:09:05.09
Mike
Right. Yep.
00:09:14.94
Bill
You know, drinking is not a choice. Alcohol is not a choice. Drugs are not a choice. Well, fucking it. Yes, it is. it's It's a choice. I mean, we every one of us has choices, but you know I'm grateful that i that I have the ability and the knowledge and the have done the work where I make the choice of not to do that today.
00:09:33.62
Bill
Again, either one of us has a choice.
00:09:33.84
Mike
Right.
00:09:35.06
Bill
We can go out right now and you know get all fucked up and do whatever we want to do.
00:09:37.53
Mike
ah
00:09:38.38
Bill
but um Once again, back to the back to the choices, we have that ability because of the work we've done to make the the proper choices, the positive choices, right?
00:09:44.53
Mike
Right.
00:09:47.47
Mike
Yeah. And I mean, you know, clearly I understand what they're saying from those podiums, right?
00:09:51.03
Bill
right
00:09:52.23
Mike
You know, because there were, there were times in my life that I didn't have a choice. I had
00:09:56.77
Bill
Oh, that's a good point.
00:09:57.81
Mike
You know, I mean, I had to drink, I had to do drugs. Um, you know, plenty of times where I didn't even want to, but I did anyway, cause I had to. Um, so I get that, but no, I, the choices today are, you know, I, I can choose to do the things that.
00:10:14.59
Mike
make it possible for me not to have to drink and do drugs. you know I think it's a better way to say it.
00:10:19.52
Bill
Right.
00:10:21.23
Mike
you know I have the choice. I can choose to do my readings in the morning. I can choose not to. I can choose not to do this podcast. you know I can choose to do a lot of things.
00:10:32.01
Mike
all But eventually, if I stop making those choices, um I choose not to do those things that keep me away from it. I'm going to pick up a drink or a drug. I know that.
00:10:41.63
Bill
Right.
00:10:42.09
Mike
thoroughly convinced um because I don't have that choice. Um, so yes, I have choices today, but, um, I better fucking make the right ones. Otherwise I'm not going to have choices.
00:10:53.70
Bill
Yeah, and that's a that's a good way it's a good point. i And I do, I know what people mean, you know obviously up there. I just say i never want it, just in my head, it's the the thinking that, and just the fact that believing or trying to convince myself that you know alcohol or or drinking again or whatever is never an option, it always is, you know if I don't do the things that you just said.
00:11:14.60
Bill
So I guess, yeah, I didn't quite didn't qualify that the right way, but you're right.
00:11:15.05
Mike
Right.
00:11:17.75
Mike
ah
00:11:17.89
Bill
you know if sooner or later and it's uh I I truly believe it's going to be sooner than later because the thing of it is and I I believe that if if I stopped doing my readings or like you said you know stopped getting involved with people stop doing this podcast if if I made those decisions
00:11:31.57
Mike
right
00:11:34.32
Bill
Those are the ones that are right in the forefront, okay? Those are open decisions that, okay, i'm I'm not doing my readings anymore. That's a physical thing that I'm not gonna do.
00:11:39.43
Mike
Yeah. Uh-huh.
00:11:41.11
Bill
And oh yeah, by the way, Mike, I'm not, fuck this podcast. I'm not doing it anymore.
00:11:43.81
Mike
Right.
00:11:45.71
Bill
There's there's more has led up to that. i've been I've been stewing in some shit. I've been doing some wrong shit in the background.
00:11:49.68
Mike
Oh yeah.
00:11:51.83
Bill
um you know that Those are not the first two bad choices I've made you know at at that point.
00:11:52.40
Mike
Uh huh.
00:11:55.22
Mike
Right. Absolutely.
00:11:58.03
Bill
So, So I truly believe that if i if I get to that point where I would say those things, um I'm done. And I think that that next drink isn't, like we had talked about, you know maybe it's weeks, maybe it's months, maybe it's whatever, maybe it won't be right away.
00:12:04.71
Mike
Yeah.
00:12:09.99
Mike
Mm hmm. Maybe it's minutes.
00:12:11.28
Bill
you know and i yeah And I think i think if i if I shut the switch off of, you know that would be for me, I think i would I would have gotten to the point where I had a case of the complete, you know fuck this, I'm done.
00:12:13.20
Mike
yeah
00:12:24.86
Bill
And I'd shut everything off and I go and,
00:12:24.91
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:12:27.06
Bill
you know I'm going to probably go drink. It might even be like you said. It might be minutes.
00:12:31.05
Mike
yeah It might. Right. Because clearly, yeah, all these things have been leading up to it. And it'd be, I mean, I'm pretty sure it would be for me. I stopped doing all this stuff. Right. It's going to lead up to it.
00:12:41.65
Mike
And, um, yeah, once all that, once that, that defense is gone, like the big book talks about, you know, that once that defense is gone, I'm fucked.
00:12:51.30
Bill
Right?
00:12:51.85
Mike
Yeah.
00:12:53.04
Bill
Yeah. and That's a, I don't know, you know, just, just thinking back at this, uh, and I, you know, once again, I know we've got people, I think that listen to us that, uh, you know, do things outside of the, you know, the 12 step way and, uh, I mean, more power to you, whatever, whatever keeps you sober.
00:13:04.09
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:13:06.45
Bill
I mean, we've, we've made that clear, but you know, for exactly.
00:13:08.33
Mike
Right. But they're doing stuff, I think is the important thing.
00:13:11.45
Bill
Yeah, that's in yeah definitely a great point because the it's a um it's it's still baffling to me that you know the walking into, based on you know speaking for myself and you know knowing you well enough, kind of not speaking for you, but you know we walk into this into this thing, you know into this program, and we start doing these things.
00:13:23.29
Mike
Hmm.
00:13:29.76
Bill
And once again, that the session's lifted, and we don't we have choices. we don't
00:13:34.74
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:13:35.67
Bill
and it just it's it's amazing but um in really thinking back at you know what happened uh you know 85 years ago you know to um still works you know to this day and you know for a couple of 80 oh 80 god why 85 oh yeah
00:13:46.26
Mike
Right. 89. But yes. It's 90 this coming up here. Yeah, which I have, a I have a shit since we went there. Um, I actually, okay, so check this out. Um, um, I was wearing a, uh, founder's day shirt the other day, right around the house, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was from this past year. So it's 89th. And so I'm doing, I'm actually looking at it in the mirror as I'm brushing my teeth.
00:14:16.00
Mike
And so I'm doing a little math, right? Okay, so next year's gonna be 90. That's cool. We're gonna have 15 at 90, right? That's, you know, if we keep doing this, if we continue to have that defense.
00:14:24.56
Bill
Right.
00:14:28.54
Mike
oh But anyway, so I saw I'm doing, again, standing there brushing my teeth. I got nothing else to do. So my head starts going. And I start doing a little math, right? Okay.
00:14:38.99
Mike
100th year, right? We're going to have 25 years. Kind of cool. But, so work that out. We have been sober exactly a quarter of the time that AA has been in existence.
00:14:53.74
Bill
That's fucking crazy.
00:14:54.78
Mike
Isn't it? okay
00:14:57.60
Bill
That is.
00:14:58.30
Mike
Yeah. I mean, I, I had that in my head that I was going to share it on this week's episode. Cause I, like I said, it was a couple of days ago. I did that. Yeah. So, I mean, however it works out, we have, I mean, so that kind of shows how short this thing's been around.
00:15:13.69
Mike
How, what little time, right?
00:15:14.32
Bill
Right.
00:15:15.57
Mike
We have been members of Alcoholics Anonymous for a quarter of its existence.
00:15:22.48
Bill
yeah that's ah in I don't know why I came up with 85, because in my head I'm thinking 1935 and I know what year it is. Where did I come up with 85?
00:15:28.91
Mike
I don't know. I don't know.
00:15:31.46
Bill
Didn't we promise not to do math on here? Maybe that's the problem.
00:15:33.42
Mike
Did we?
00:15:34.69
Bill
I don't know, I don't know.
00:15:36.11
Mike
If we did, I'm grateful, but.
00:15:36.49
Bill
so
00:15:38.89
Bill
No, that's it.
00:15:39.09
Mike
yeah Right.
00:15:39.41
Bill
That, that's the thing that the morning show I listened to that anytime they try to do math, they're like, come on, damn it. We promised not to do math on the air. I'm saying always fuck it up. But, um, that is, that is crazy. You know? So yeah, I mean, all, all said and done, like you say, if we keep doing, doing all the right things and, you know, not trying to front to, you know, to 25, but Hey, it you know, it it is what it is.
00:15:49.06
Mike
Yeah.
00:15:55.64
Mike
yeah
00:15:56.83
Bill
That's kind of a crazy, a crazy mindset, but yeah.
00:15:58.23
Mike
Right.
00:15:59.22
Bill
So yeah, when I guess what I just said, right.
00:16:00.93
Mike
But if you roll it back right now, still it's still, we have been sober a quarter of the time AA has been in existence.
00:16:08.55
Bill
Right.
00:16:09.14
Mike
Yeah.
00:16:09.22
Bill
Yeah. And i I mean, like I just said, you know, all those years back, but really, I mean, at all those years is yes, but it that's crazy.
00:16:16.21
Mike
Right.
00:16:16.54
Bill
Mind blown. yeah
00:16:20.66
Mike
Yeah. Right. So is mine. That's why I needed this to share it. So it's not all blown up in my head.
00:16:26.99
Bill
No, I'm glad you did, and I'm glad you remembered to share it too, because I know you don't write this shit down.
00:16:30.25
Mike
Yeah.
00:16:31.25
Bill
So I'm glad that something sparked one of those brain cells in there to pop that pop that back up.
00:16:34.60
Mike
Yes.
00:16:35.82
Bill
But um but yeah, I mean, back to like the gifts and stuff like that, I mean, there is there's there's too many to mention, which I think is a good thing.
00:16:40.67
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:16:42.55
Bill
But um you know I think just you know some of you know summarizing what we had talked about, you know the the freedom, the people, um the relationships, the choices, um you know but all of that all that goes away if we don't do the work.
00:16:53.98
Bill
you know that's the That's the simplest way to put it. but
00:16:56.37
Mike
Yep.
00:16:56.88
Bill
So a couple of things that I that I wrote down, you know, missing the silver lining, which I which I thought was was fun. And I remember that reading, you know, because it is, you know, it's, you know, silver shines just as, you know, brightly as gold as people miss it.
00:17:07.02
Mike
Yeah.
00:17:08.53
Bill
And, and yeah, it is. We talk so much about living in the moment. And I know for a fact, you know, how how many moments I missed. like we talked before you know who that fucking moon or that fucking you know the the sunrise or you know some of the the places i've been able to get grateful for been able to go over the last you know seventy months and you know literally walking into this clearing it be like.
00:17:21.31
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:17:33.08
Bill
fuck me you know and i mean it's these things were always there you know and so i didn't have to travel to you know fucking north carolina to see a you know a ridge or whatever it was i can i can go around here and see beautiful shit anywhere you know
00:17:33.95
Mike
Yeah. Right.
00:17:43.79
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure, right.
00:17:48.27
Bill
Um, but it's just not never, never recognizing, never stopping, never taking the time, um, you know, to really appreciate these moments and people to, you know, um, you know, just being around yesterday, we went over to, um, you know, yeah Kathy's friend, Kimberly, I mean, I've known her for years to Kimberly and her husband, Brian.
00:17:52.93
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:18:07.01
Mike
Uh, sounds familiar. I probably, yeah.
00:18:09.62
Bill
I know you've met them because they were, they would have been on events and Kylie's things and all that stuff.
00:18:10.65
Mike
Right. Sure.
00:18:13.55
Bill
So I know you've met them before, but, um, all said and done, you know, with, uh, everyone else kind of spread out this year.
00:18:13.70
Mike
Right.
00:18:19.12
Bill
Um, Kimberly brought that up to Kathy. She's like, Oh, you know, why don't you guys come on, come on over, check with, you know, cause I, by the time I got back, I hadn't been back for Wisconsin yet. So I'm like, yeah, that'd be kind of cool. You know, hang out with some people.
00:18:28.49
Mike
Right.
00:18:28.96
Bill
And I'm like, Oh, I, I've realized the Packard game was on last night.
00:18:32.72
Mike
Right.
00:18:32.78
Bill
Um, And I'm like either way I said I'm I don't want to be rude but I said I'm gonna be back in front of the TV here I said it's you know it's a 730 game it's a it's a later game I just I'd rather sit down and watch the fucking game and I did um but I get all the that the whole point with that is just that you don't be having that ability to um I don't know just get out there and just
00:18:44.08
Mike
Right.
00:18:54.01
Bill
Spend this time with these folks that I mean I see him every once in a while But you know while we were there I but glanced at my phone a couple of times But I didn't really give a fuck I was sitting there enjoying and that was what I told Kathy I'm like it'd be fun to hang out with some people for a little bit and you know had a nice meal nice conversation her her husband Brian and I enjoy him um in their aunt or his aunt and uncle were there and um ah Kimberly's daughter Kareen which I haven't seen her
00:19:01.77
Mike
right
00:19:06.93
Mike
yeah
00:19:19.31
Bill
I walk in the door and then Kimberly, you know, saying hi to everyone.
00:19:21.16
Mike
Uh-huh.
00:19:22.48
Bill
And she's like, she's like, you know, you know, my daughter, Corinne, and I'm like, I don't think I've seen her. And I said, how old are you now? And she's 26.
00:19:28.87
Mike
Ah.
00:19:29.08
Bill
And I said, 20 years ago, I said, I, you were little, you know, I said, you were, and she's like, yeah, she's like, i I remember, I'm sure I met you at some point.
00:19:31.41
Mike
Right. Right.
00:19:36.82
Bill
I'm like, yeah, you were just, you were just a little kid, probably. And that's probably not an exaggeration. She might've been six the last time I saw her, but it was just a nice time, you know, but again, enjoying the moments, you know,
00:19:42.99
Mike
Right. Yeah. Cool. Mm hmm.
00:19:50.03
Bill
And that's kind of what it all is.
00:19:50.06
Mike
Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. We get to do that today.
00:19:55.30
Bill
But yeah, I mean, um forgetting to live in the moment, yes, gratitude for the moment, sometimes I forget that.
00:20:00.36
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:20:01.69
Bill
But then, um you know, the other thing too was um I wrote down often we pushed, there was an area in that reading that said push, push, push.
00:20:07.96
Mike
Oh yeah. Yep.
00:20:09.22
Bill
And I don't remember exactly what the context was about that, but um I don't know, probably just anything pushing for um a circumstance, a result.
00:20:17.29
Mike
the Right. Well, yeah, you know, pushing for the gold when we already have the silver, I think was the point of it.
00:20:22.54
Bill
Right.
00:20:23.24
Mike
Yeah.
00:20:23.79
Bill
Right.
00:20:24.56
Mike
Yeah. Exactly. You know, settle down, man. I've, you know, I, I, I prefer silver anyway, but yes, of course, you know, I mean, we all go through that.
00:20:30.27
Bill
Settle down, man.
00:20:37.07
Mike
i i I would like more, but, um, but again, that's, that's an alcoholic behavior. You know, I need more.
00:20:44.67
Bill
Great.
00:20:45.06
Mike
That's a drug addict behavior. I need more. No, I don't. and I truly don't. I have enough.
00:20:51.36
Bill
Right. But yeah, I mean, ah and quite honestly, I think that like silver jewelry and I know I know you're more of a silver person. But I know a lot of people I've known over the years that you know what more silver even like you see something like the wedding bands and the necklaces and you know some of the women's jewelry and silver.
00:21:06.79
Mike
Right.
00:21:08.91
Bill
It's fucking gorgeous, you know.
00:21:10.39
Mike
Yeah. Right.
00:21:11.75
Bill
And you know once again, but silver shines just as brightly as gold, I think was the exact exact thing.
00:21:16.75
Mike
It does. Yep.
00:21:18.24
Bill
But the last thing that I wrote down though was exploring life.
00:21:21.98
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:21:23.67
Bill
And once again, I mean, that gives us the opportunity, enjoying the moments, you know but um back to freedom and back to choices. And we have these these abilities now or the ability you know to to explore and do things and ah try new things if we feel like it.
00:21:36.53
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:21:37.17
Bill
Or, you know, the Don't but I mean we do we have the ability to to make those choices, but yeah exploring life It's just I wrote that down because that just sounded kind of cool because I mean think about Think about your and and I'll use the word existence for the last year before you got sober.
00:21:40.29
Mike
Right.
00:21:54.63
Bill
um I Mean if you were like me, which I know you were we weren't exploring much of anything but the bottom of the fucking bottle, right?
00:22:01.90
Mike
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, exactly. You know, and, and, and the very few things we, I went out and did or whatever.
00:22:11.96
Mike
Um, yeah, you know, we're fueled by, I mean, I had to have the booze with me to, to be able to do it. That's not freedom.
00:22:19.43
Bill
Right.
00:22:19.54
Mike
Yeah. And if I didn't, then I sure as hell wasn't going to. Um, so yeah, you know, I mean, I get to hell I'm going to a bar tonight, basically. You know, but I get to go there and enjoy the music and remember it and you know, walk out of there with my wallet with probably a couple of bucks in it and come back to my house and remember how I got there.
00:22:29.90
Bill
Right. Right.
00:22:43.11
Mike
And it's going to be, it's going to be wonderful.
00:22:46.29
Bill
Well, literally the other thing I thought about was um you know i mean grateful for not having to wake up you know this morning with ah with a fucking hangover.
00:22:54.30
Mike
Yeah.
00:22:54.43
Bill
know And um and you know the i I don't know if it's still this way, but I know that the for the longest time, for years, the the Wednesday before, Thanksgiving was like i mean bigger than New Year's Eve as far as a party day, and it which makes sense.
00:23:05.42
Mike
Mm hmm. Oh yeah. Right.
00:23:08.96
Bill
People are traveling, going home, kids are coming home from college. and um We always used to go out, or you know years ago when I went out or came down to Indiana for Thanksgiving, Mark's aunt used to do it.
00:23:12.68
Mike
Right.
00:23:22.09
Bill
But I fight traffic all the way down at the work usually we get off work a little bit early But fight fucking Chicago traffic, you know, what would take usually two and a half hours take me fucking for didn't care I got there.
00:23:25.90
Mike
Right.
00:23:32.64
Mike
right
00:23:33.72
Bill
I mean we'd rip it up on Wednesday night And we're Kathy and I were just talking yesterday. I'm like his aunt Kim I said she used to have Thanksgiving and like one or something like that. She's like, yeah, and I remember, you know
00:23:43.44
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah.
00:23:46.60
Bill
I mean yeah basically it was like we would get up um you know I mean stay up to lunch drink whatever I mean it's a godly amount um wake up in just enough time to kind of get cleaned up and get over there still kind of foggy and quite honestly on Thanksgiving we didn't drink that much at least I didn't digest I just I drank some beers to kind of even myself out but like man I need a little bit of a break but then we'd rip it up again on Friday night you know but
00:23:49.36
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:23:52.68
Mike
Sure. Mm hmm.
00:23:57.12
Mike
Right. Oh, yeah.
00:24:02.53
Mike
ah chip Right.
00:24:08.92
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:24:10.38
Bill
Um, yeah, I mean, how, how nice, you know, cause I, I woke up this morning and I got a decent amount of sleep, you know, seven and a half hours of sleep is more than I get during the week, you know?
00:24:19.11
Mike
Sure.
00:24:20.05
Bill
And I get up and I'm like, I'm like, I am so fucking tired. I'm like, I, you ungrateful fuck. You're about to do a gratitude episodes today.
00:24:25.88
Mike
Right.
00:24:27.65
Bill
You ungrateful fuck. You're number one, you're alive. You blablabla that shit, but you don't have a hangover, you know?
00:24:32.13
Mike
hu Right.
00:24:35.36
Bill
I'm a little tired.
00:24:39.90
Bill
And you know what, I, I know why, you know, even leading into this right before we started, I get everything set up and I'm sitting down, I'm sitting down like, why am I so fucking tired? And I know why, cause I'm used to, you know, if I don't do anything, if I just sit around, it's, it's typical as your body relaxes and I'm like, I'm at that age where, you know, it's like, uh, I'm the Homer Simpson sitting in the chair.
00:24:51.46
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:24:58.71
Bill
I usually don't fall asleep in a chair, but I feel like I could, you know?
00:25:00.42
Mike
Mm hmm. Great.
00:25:05.22
Bill
But, but fuck man, I'm not, I'm not hungover. So what the fuck, man?
00:25:07.86
Mike
Exactly.
00:25:09.94
Bill
So, but um what else? What else on on the reading? I mean, once again, as always, ah it was a good one, but what else?
00:25:14.04
Mike
Well, I mean, um, well with the silver and gold but thing, um, reminded me, it was, uh, was it a Kylie that used to say, um, you know, that recovery is like a big ball of silver and you know what happened?
00:25:31.59
Mike
You have to polish it on a daily basis.
00:25:33.36
Bill
Oh, yeah.
00:25:34.00
Mike
Otherwise it'll tarnish.
00:25:34.32
Bill
Yeah. When you, when you said, when you said Kylie, I thought you were talking about our our niece.
00:25:37.00
Mike
I know. No, no, John.
00:25:38.69
Bill
No, yeah. This, yeah, this guy, yeah, this guy in our recovery thing. Yeah, it was, it was him. Yep. Absolutely.
00:25:43.02
Mike
Yeah, right. Yeah. Super old timer, ton, you know, older than, you know, had more sobriety than Jesus or whatever.
00:25:46.21
Bill
Hmm.
00:25:49.49
Mike
And, uh, right.
00:25:52.65
Bill
Hmm.
00:25:54.17
Mike
Yes. Um, but yeah, and I always liked that analogy, you know, again, you know, yeah. Do you want to keep it shiny? Again, silver shines the same as gold, yeah except gold can fucking just sit there. So maybe having the silver is even better because we have to work to keep it shiny.
00:26:09.25
Bill
Yeah, yeah, and he was, I'm 95% sure it was him that had said that, i think you're i think you're I think you're right.
00:26:13.81
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:26:16.14
Bill
But yeah, and you know, it's again, these little, these these visuals, and I said it a hundred times, if not a thousand times, I'm a visual person, and that was yet another thing.
00:26:16.46
Mike
Right.
00:26:25.31
Bill
It's like, yeah, you got it, you have to polish silver. If you want to keep it keep it looking good, you got to do a little bit of work, you know, that elbow crease in there, as they say, um you know, but but yeah, you know, and he's and ah he's another one.
00:26:28.10
Mike
Right. Absolutely.
00:26:37.41
Bill
um he was really He was really sick when he led it. Remember when he led it?
00:26:42.06
Mike
Yeah.
00:26:42.47
Bill
Who do you know before he before he had passed?
00:26:43.20
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.
00:26:44.87
Bill
um But man, I mean, talk about gratitude. I'm um' glad, really grateful that we got to see him lead.
00:26:48.56
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:26:50.34
Bill
We got to see Ray lead, you know?
00:26:53.35
Mike
Right.
00:26:54.50
Bill
And fucking Ray's lead. I don't think he i think he told, I don't know, he was up there for 20 minutes. I think Kylie was up there for 20 minutes too.
00:27:01.99
Mike
Right.
00:27:02.45
Bill
um And I'm um like, I was captivated and and just mesmerized.
00:27:05.33
Mike
Yeah.
00:27:06.01
Bill
And I learned more from those two and 40 minutes combined than I did from you know most of the other leads that I that i heard at that time.
00:27:08.30
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:27:13.15
Bill
and um But that's the point.
00:27:13.48
Mike
Absolutely.
00:27:14.87
Bill
you know they They told a story and led a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, like we were taught by the people who you know brought us up.
00:27:22.23
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:27:22.83
Bill
you know so But yeah, that's ah that's a damn damn good point, Mike.
00:27:23.97
Mike
Yep.
00:27:27.35
Bill
Thanks for bringing that up.
00:27:27.97
Mike
No problem.
00:27:31.48
Bill
But so nothing else on the and the reading at all? or Okay, but um so yeah, did ah are you, as a company, is it normally, your company's not closed today, it's just you normally take off for the day after, right?
00:27:33.85
Mike
Nah, I think we covered it.
00:27:44.09
Mike
Yeah, right. Yeah. Um, the way our thing works. Yeah. We get Thanksgiving off, but, uh, now I had to take PTO to have, yeah, have Friday off.
00:27:51.79
Bill
Right.
00:27:54.19
Mike
So yep.
00:27:55.80
Bill
Yeah, and it's that,
00:27:56.40
Mike
Oh yeah. There's guys out there driving hell. There's guys out there driving on fucking Thursday, you know,
00:28:00.89
Bill
Right. Well, and I, and I assume so. I mean, it's not like, uh, what was the new year's Eve that they shut everyone down to the certain point though? Right.
00:28:07.12
Mike
Yeah, that that's every year. I think it's like six o'clock at night or something.
00:28:09.19
Bill
right
00:28:11.04
Mike
They just, they, they shut it down and they don't start back up to like five in the morning or something. and Yeah.
00:28:15.76
Bill
Right.
00:28:16.51
Mike
Yeah. Just cause it's, you know, stupid out there.
00:28:19.79
Bill
Right.
00:28:19.87
Mike
There's a lot more drunk people that don't know what the fuck they're doing out on the roads. So yeah.
00:28:25.77
Bill
Yeah, and I think that you you just brought that, or that was a first I remember hearing of it. I think it was this past New Year's Eve when we were doing an episode that you said that, and I'm like, that's hugely intelligent because you think about it from a business standpoint, you know, even get, you know, ah but with with as big as they are, what is the, even if it's a small percentage of accidents that happen, what's the cost?
00:28:33.61
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:28:37.72
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:28:47.65
Mike
Right.
00:28:47.71
Bill
What do they theoretically, quote unquote, lose by shutting everything down?
00:28:50.77
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:28:51.27
Bill
You know, it's it's just, it's a smart business decision, you know?
00:28:53.20
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Yep.
00:28:56.80
Bill
But yeah, the the company I work for, which is when I first started, they give all the holidays and I saw we had the day after, which in the in the debt collection business, I want to say it's unheard of. Years ago, it was unheard of um to be off because, you know, before cell phones, that's when people are home, that's when you get ahold of them, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:07.77
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Sure. Right.
00:29:13.77
Bill
um But these days, it's a little bit different based on that, even some of the consumer agencies, but this company, they told us that I think for the last, again, one of the people said, she's like she said like the last 15 years, I think, um it's it's always been a ah paid holiday because the company realizes that it's just that we collect from a lot of businesses.
00:29:26.67
Mike
Right.
00:29:34.62
Bill
you know So it's just, it's fucking pointless.
00:29:35.20
Mike
right
00:29:37.72
Bill
you know So I was really happy about that.
00:29:38.06
Mike
Exactly.
00:29:41.35
Mike
hey Right.
00:29:45.39
Bill
And it's just it's a nice it's it's a nice switch Oh again, I've got another gratitude note here So speaking of work things and I've been I'll just say it I've been complaining about work over the last You know month or so, you know things have been been slow and it's again.
00:29:45.41
Mike
Yeah.
00:29:51.19
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:29:56.20
Mike
You have.
00:29:59.37
Bill
It's all fear-based We all figured we figured all that shit out, you know that um things are slow and it affects my income and it's fear, you know, but um again this the month of November was going really fucking slow and I like two, I look back on it because I had, I had just a killer week and a half, you know, from, from like, I look back at the 18th and my, so my goal is 20 grand in fee.
00:30:00.25
Mike
Right.
00:30:05.85
Mike
right
00:30:21.48
Bill
I knew, I didn't know, but I knew it was going to be a stretch to hit that. But on the 18th, so literally like eight days before the end of the month, um I was at like 8,800 in fee.
00:30:32.26
Mike
Hmm.
00:30:32.61
Bill
Okay.
00:30:33.16
Mike
Hmm.
00:30:33.35
Bill
And last month I hit just over 15, like that 15,020.
00:30:38.30
Mike
Hmm.
00:30:39.27
Bill
and uh and i'm like man i don't even know if i'm gonna fucking hit that and i ended up um at the end of the month at 16.5 so i literally doubled my fee in the last eight days it was fucking great yeah but you know ah and and i know what it is that my my boss has been on vacation so it'll be interesting to see if he um notices which he may he may or he may not i i think he will but
00:30:39.56
Mike
Hmm.
00:30:49.75
Mike
nice
00:31:00.07
Bill
um you know i know what it was all the crap i was talking about all these things that i i finally got some of this shit cleaned up and the stuff i got to wade through and work on finally came through um but yeah it was so nice by the end of the day yesterday i'm like this it's like basically last physical day of the month for us and you know going into a long weekend and um literally it was a it was i had the ability to take a deep breath and be like
00:31:14.56
Mike
Nice. Right.
00:31:23.86
Mike
a
00:31:24.63
Bill
You know and I didn't hit I didn't hit my main goal But I hit you know hit where at least I could be it's okay You know ah based on where I was but yeah, you talk about fucking grateful i'm like oof there
00:31:28.24
Mike
Right.
00:31:35.57
Mike
he It was enough.
00:31:38.48
Bill
Yeah, it was it was enough. i yeah i was Again, I always want more. We all we all know that.
00:31:41.87
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:31:44.36
Bill
All right, so um anything else on like the the gratitude thing? i mean I know we've kind of you know joked about it a little bit, but anything else that you wanted to bring up from, I mean, just ah just a pure gratitude standpoint, I mean, for this time of year or no?
00:31:58.76
Mike
No.
00:32:02.74
Bill
Yeah, I know. it's just it's It is.
00:32:04.32
Mike
I'm grateful fucking enough.
00:32:04.46
Bill
i
00:32:05.90
Mike
God damn it.
00:32:08.03
Bill
Yeah, we kind of talk about it. I think we made a bigger, yeah well, I know for a fact we did that first year, made a bigger deal out of it than, um not that we needed to, but you know, it was our first year doing it.
00:32:12.82
Mike
isn
00:32:17.82
Bill
But back then when we were just kids, you know, with this whole thing, a couple, couple tree years ago, you know.
00:32:18.24
Mike
Sure. Right.
00:32:24.52
Mike
he he I'm grateful.
00:32:25.66
Bill
yeah
00:32:27.33
Mike
We've moved past that.
00:32:28.76
Bill
Right, so just just real quick. So speaking of readings, ah from God grant me today, um here's the line.
00:32:34.55
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:32:36.30
Bill
The world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich with rich treasures.
00:32:40.40
Mike
Oh, yes That's right, yep Imagine that I fucking focused on that as well this morning
00:32:46.42
Bill
So um I've got nothing else to go along with that, but I copied that along. I'm like simply throbbing. I'm like, well, isn't that something?
00:32:58.27
Bill
ah
00:33:02.00
Bill
ah I figured you would, because I knew when I brought it up and literally in, because when I would put this note on there in parentheses, I put, yeah I said, I got nothing after this. i I could just, there's nothing I needed to expand on.
00:33:14.75
Bill
I'm just like, and I put quote, simply throbbing. Yeah. My treasures are throbbing.
00:33:22.36
Mike
he
00:33:24.45
Bill
ah So, okay. um Let me go back to one. This I think was,
00:33:28.16
Mike
Well, and speaking of the readings, um, yeah, the 24 hour book, we're starting a slip season. ah
00:33:35.37
Bill
Oh, right.
00:33:36.62
Mike
Yeah, right. So for the next goddamn week and a half, two weeks, every reading in the goddamn 24 hour book is going to be about slips.
00:33:44.98
Bill
Right.
00:33:45.29
Mike
I'm just like, fuck man, really?
00:33:47.36
Bill
Right.
00:33:47.77
Mike
It's yeah yeah every year I'm like, okay, first of all, it's a stupid time of year to fucking do it right between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
00:33:54.22
Bill
right
00:33:56.29
Mike
Let's, let's talk about slips. You know, which we shouldn't be doing anyway. Um, yeah, it just, it, it pisses me off. You know, it's fine. I'll still, I'll still fucking read them.
00:34:06.81
Mike
I'll still get something out of them. But, um, yeah, really thanks. 24 hour book.
00:34:11.72
Bill
Yeah.
00:34:14.15
Bill
But I, I know. And you know what? I mean, speaking of that, just briefly, we've talked about these things, um, you know, the slips and, you know, basically just with almost not even almost with, with pure disgusted at it the, at the thought of it.
00:34:18.70
Mike
Yep.
00:34:25.05
Mike
ye
00:34:26.03
Bill
I mean, if you, if you drink or if you use even only a little bit, it's a fucking relapse, you know?
00:34:29.10
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:34:32.09
Bill
And, um, you didn't slip on something you fucking, you fucking used or you fucking drank, you know?
00:34:33.82
Mike
I know.
00:34:38.00
Mike
Yeah, you picked up, you did not slip down.
00:34:38.60
Bill
And, uh, yeah. Yeah. You didn't fall down and you know, a needle fell in your arm or you didn't fall down and you know, a bottle of booze went down your throat and you're like, Oh Jesus Christ.
00:34:50.17
Mike
Right.
00:34:50.47
Bill
He's like, wasn't it the one year we said about if somebody broke in and cause you, yeah, you sent him somebody broke into your house and drugged you up and I'm like, okay, so that's how the story's going to go.
00:34:56.53
Mike
Ah ha.
00:35:00.29
Bill
I get it. I understand. But, uh, yeah, I mean, no, but
00:35:05.03
Mike
Right. and And no true addict's going to fucking believe that because we know that we don't, we're not breaking it in someone's house and giving our drugs away.
00:35:13.47
Bill
Right, and i I mean, at the time when I was when i was actively in my in my alcoholism, um I wasn't, I mean, yeah, I guess I'd share if I had to, but I certainly wasn't gonna break into somebody, yeah, I'm not gonna break into my into somebody's house with a bottle of fucking whiskey, and you know, first of all, take the risk and then just dump it down their throat, go, ha ha ha, fuck you.
00:35:22.00
Mike
yeah If you had to.
00:35:31.07
Mike
Great.
00:35:33.76
Bill
And then run away. yeah I got you, bitch, I just i just made you slip.
00:35:43.16
Bill
All right, so um this ah this this this is this was from probably recently, but i gotta I'm getting like pages of shit. I gotta to dig back at some of this other garbage. Maybe we'll do that after after the break. I'll dig back into some garbage-y things. Oh, but I do have, I've got another news story. Again, um I'm just gonna preface all these. They have nothing to do with politics. But no, it's just one news story I'll get to a little bit later, maybe laugh. but um So from keep it simple.
00:36:10.94
Bill
Today, I'll look for ways to use the 12 steps. If I have a problem, I'll first stop and think of how the 12 steps can help me solve it. And my question on that is, do you ever consciously think about what steps can help you on a daily basis, like especially with a problem?
00:36:25.45
Mike
Mhmm.
00:36:28.88
Bill
I mean, something comes up and you're like, oh, you look out your playbook and you're like, step six and seven. I mean, I don't know. You know what I mean? Do you ever consciously?
00:36:41.35
Mike
with my favorite step, step one, um you know generally um that's the easiest thing if there's you know a problem or whatever.
00:36:43.71
Bill
Right. Okay.
00:36:49.33
Mike
All right, fucking apply step one. Do I have any power over this fucking problem? um you know And if the answer is no, then move on.
00:37:00.01
Mike
It makes life really fucking simple.
00:37:02.67
Bill
Right.
00:37:02.74
Mike
um and And if the answer is yes, then okay, I have some sort of Power over this problem. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to fix it or mitigate it or something?
00:37:13.61
Mike
um But I mean and again nine times out of ten is the answer is fucking no ah So yeah don't dwell on the problem don't if I can't do something to make it better Then why am I letting it waste my time?
00:37:19.64
Bill
Right.
00:37:28.98
Mike
um So yeah, I mean, step one is hugely useful in life's problems. um you know Again, because most of the time, but fuck, I really don't have any power over this, whatever it is.
00:37:36.03
Bill
Right.
00:37:43.12
Mike
um So I'm not gonna waste my time worrying about it or yeah, or anything. um you know I try to spin my wheels trying to fix it when there's nothing I can fucking do.
00:37:55.77
Bill
Yeah, that's ah i mean that's a really a really good point. now The only other, I guess as you were talking, I guess the other step that I that might consciously crossed my mind would be the 12-step. you know As far as you know obviously getting out there and and helping you know somebody else, you know that's 12-step work.
00:38:05.30
Mike
Mm-hm. Sure.
00:38:10.86
Bill
But um but yeah, i mean that that's ah that's a really good point. you know i mean If there's a problem that you that you can't even have an effect on, positive or negative, i mean what's a fucking point?
00:38:17.94
Mike
Mm-hm. Right.
00:38:20.72
Bill
you know
00:38:21.21
Mike
Yep.
00:38:21.63
Bill
um what is the point of sitting there and we've we talk about dwelling don't fucking dwell you know don't don't get all wrapped up in in this shit that you got that you have no control over you know it's somebody else's will not or something else's will.
00:38:25.30
Mike
Mm-hm. Right.
00:38:31.78
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:38:35.72
Mike
Right?
00:38:35.78
Bill
You know not ours or maybe it is somebody else's will and we just gotta fucking deal with it you know.
00:38:38.34
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:40.45
Bill
um but yeah i just say it wasn't right still one one of my favorites let it whirl um but yeah just when i read that i'm like god i i don't think there was and i wasn't thinking it's so much about step one maybe just because it's a it's an unconscious thought but um
00:38:41.42
Mike
Let them whirl.
00:38:46.33
Mike
Yup.
00:38:56.90
Bill
I mean, they're just kind of sitting down and like, oh, which one of the 12 steps could help me to- today? you know i mean But I think we've we've talked, it well, I know we have you know talked about that before, but so many of these things just are ingrained in us in a really, really good way you know that we don't have to you know sit back and you know check the manual.
00:39:09.50
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:39:14.56
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:16.02
Bill
Every time something happens, um you know, sometimes it helps to look back and be like, yeah, I gotta refresh on on this, and but that's that's what this fucking thing is for, you know?
00:39:18.00
Mike
Right.
00:39:24.82
Mike
Right.
00:39:25.24
Bill
We sit there, and talk about it on here. I write it down, I'm like, well, I'll talk about this on the podcast.
00:39:27.56
Mike
see
00:39:30.67
Mike
Yeah.
00:39:30.75
Bill
okay But yeah, just, ah I don't know, it's that that's a good point. It it just didn't didn't really click how I would really, if I would ever just stop, you know, and obviously,
00:39:40.54
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:41.73
Bill
kind of pick a step, but another one recently from God grant me, um have I stopped hiding behind the smokescreen of perfectionism? And I i know we've talked about,
00:39:54.90
Bill
I always love, well whatever that reaction ever means, I never know where you're going with it, but I was, ah the hook you know, but um okay, so again, God grant me, have we, have I stopped hiding behind the smokescreen of perfectionism?
00:40:08.33
Bill
And I think we talked about perfection, wow, I'm i'm not mastering perfectionism, especially in my speech, apparently, but um I don't know, have you, how do you feel about that?
00:40:15.04
Mike
Right.
00:40:20.49
Bill
Smokescreen hiding behind perfectionism, blah, blah, blah.
00:40:22.09
Mike
Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, well, and I know I've talked about it before, right. And you know, if I couldn't do something perfectly, I wouldn't do it at all. And since I can't do anything perfectly, I pretty much didn't do fucking anything.
00:40:35.11
Mike
Um, right.
00:40:35.36
Bill
right
00:40:37.91
Mike
Um, and yeah, long time ago, stop that crap. Um, you know, I'm, I'm going to fail. I fail every fucking day. That means I'm trying and that's a good thing.
00:40:48.08
Mike
I'm grateful for that. Um, I'm grateful for fail its for failure.
00:40:52.52
Bill
Right.
00:40:52.57
Mike
Um, right. Um, Yeah, ah absolutely stop that crap. Shut that down within the first year.
00:41:02.26
Bill
Right.
00:41:03.45
Mike
I'm glad I fail i because it means I'm trying. Yes, yeah perfectionism. Again, if I can't do it perfectly, I'm just not going to do it at all. Well, and I didn't do fucking anything.
00:41:16.31
Bill
Yeah, and that's ah it. i Yeah, I know we talked about that, because that's always it's always such a good point. And yeah, it just, you know, we both sit there, you know, or used to sit there just, you know, just apathetically and like, well, I guess I can't do anything, you know.
00:41:28.81
Bill
It's not gonna be perfect, so I guess I can't.
00:41:31.14
Mike
Right.
00:41:31.22
Bill
And, you know, perfectionism, I would say, out of out of all the the things out there that I have to be mindful of, for me, um It is one of the things i do have to be mindful of because i think i was at least i tried to be but i i was exactly like you were you know fuck it if i if i get cuz i know i can't do it i'm not going to um but it is it is something i have to i have to.
00:41:51.45
Mike
right
00:41:56.02
Bill
I don't want to say fight against but maybe a little bit and remember the fact that I again I need to fail that's how I learn I'm going to fail it's fine um as long as I'm doing the I've got to remind myself all the time that is I'm doing the steps I'm doing the work and I guess going back to the work thing you know um everything that that I've been talking about over the last you know a couple of months with work I kept going back to the fact that you know what
00:42:03.17
Mike
see
00:42:20.87
Bill
The the only thing that would fucking freak me out more is if i knew i wasn't doing all the right things for the things that i needed to.
00:42:23.59
Mike
Hmm. Right.
00:42:29.39
Bill
And then failing you know.
00:42:31.02
Mike
Yeah.
00:42:31.92
Bill
If she did all line up i mean a grand and i'm looking for certain things and i wanna be better and i wanna grow and i wanna do all those things. um I don't need to be, it's fun, you know, when you're you know number one in the list of whatever, I ended i ended up at, even after all my garbage this month, I think I'll end up at you know number three out of ah the level that ah that I'm at on level twos, which is a fucking miracle compared to where I was eight days ago.
00:42:43.77
Mike
Sure. Uh-huh.
00:42:56.98
Bill
So I'm proud of that for myself, you know?
00:42:57.43
Mike
ahha
00:43:00.22
Bill
um whether i end up in the number one spot i'm fine i don't i'm okay being mediocre you know i'm ah i'm okay being you know average or maybe a little bit above or average working for a little bit above i don't need to be perfect but um you know again progress not perfection we've got to at least be striving towards you know betterment
00:43:05.86
Mike
Right.
00:43:09.37
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.
00:43:16.45
Mike
Yup. Mm-hmm. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to get a little bit better than we were yesterday.
00:43:26.79
Bill
Right, at least yeah yeah and if nothing else, at least we we don't want to be worse than we were yesterday, hopefully, right?
00:43:26.99
Mike
That's all. That's all.
00:43:32.85
Mike
No. Right.
00:43:36.48
Bill
All right, so I don't know, we're kind of at ah at a good point. What do you think, Mike? Should we take a gratitude break?
00:43:42.65
Mike
All right. You know what? Well, I'm thankful that we're going to be able to take a break right here. We'll be back with more gratitude right after these words from our grateful sponsors.
00:44:01.30
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome back. And hey, are y'all grateful we came back?
00:44:06.84
Mike
Are you grateful that the commercials are over?
00:44:10.63
Bill
yeah It's funny. I'm trying to think of the commercials that we've been that we've been getting. because ah I mean, again, obviously you know I listen to it. We get we get LinkedIn ones.
00:44:20.49
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:44:21.85
Bill
we We don't get any real weird ones. We'll get some Shopify ones. um there was a So the thing of it is, and just kind of a I don't know a ah side note on this, but I think I told you about it maybe.
00:44:33.16
Bill
But when when you set up these these ads run, I mean, therere they're they're Spotify ads, you know, obviously that are doing it.
00:44:38.78
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:44:40.61
Bill
All I do is I put it in the automatic replacement. I see how many ads I want to run and whatever. um But there's a list that you can choose from of things you want to run or not categories.
00:44:50.20
Mike
Mm-hmm sure Sure right but Right So we're not mature brought to you by Budweiser
00:44:51.27
Bill
And I forget how many excluded categories we have. It's got to be 50 plus, you know, because they were a lot of booze ads and things like that, or NA this. And I'm like, I tried to go through and things that, things that didn't support, if you want to call it our mission or our mindset. And I didn't want an alcohol ad running in the middle of our fucking
00:45:20.08
Bill
yeah It's, ah when I was watching the football game the other day, but it might've been the Lions game, we'll talk about the football here in a minute too, but um it was the, ah I don't know, it's like party, it's Captain captain Morgan or Crown Royal something, but it's the, it's some bus, it's like the the Crown Royal party bus.
00:45:23.93
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:45:35.29
Mike
Yeah.
00:45:38.94
Bill
This is brought to you by, and it's like who, it just, I saw it, literally I laughed out loud, it's fucking hilarious, you know, but it did, again, it didn't offend me, I was just like, ah okay.
00:45:40.93
Mike
Right.
00:45:47.87
Mike
Sure.
00:45:49.08
Bill
This is brought to you by a boost and more booze.
00:45:49.29
Mike
if That's right.
00:45:53.64
Bill
But so it's it's funny sometimes, a lot of times it'll it'll just run the, if we have five ads, it'll run the same ad all five times, which again, doesn't really matter. But um I excluded a lot of categories on purpose because I'm like, hey, if you want to fucking advertise with us, that's fine.
00:46:08.78
Bill
But, you know, there's just certain things that didn't line up with what you and I are all about, you know?
00:46:12.05
Mike
Right.
00:46:14.83
Bill
So if if you guys,
00:46:15.72
Mike
This episode is brought to you by regret and bad choices.
00:46:21.63
Bill
You know what, I should just record that and drop that in every once in a while.
00:46:24.85
Mike
Yeah.
00:46:27.48
Bill
I could do that. Oh, we this episode could be brought to you by a brand new book. I won't fuck around. i bum post I'm posting enough about that. It's it's all good. And I'm having, again, grateful, grateful for that.
00:46:38.11
Bill
I so i started i started writing the other one that um that I was talking about with the favorite favorite places I've been.
00:46:44.95
Mike
Cool.
00:46:45.14
Bill
um that's gonna That'll take a while, which is fine. you know i mean i like the I like the process as much as any as anything else. and um you know like to The place I was at, North Carolina, Murphy, North Carolina, was that's my number one so far, just because the place I was at plus all the shit around me was unbelievable.
00:47:02.45
Mike
Right.
00:47:02.65
Bill
Although that that area got fucked up by Helene, I think was the one that you know flooded out that whole area.
00:47:05.15
Mike
Hmm. Yep.
00:47:08.88
Bill
But anyhow, Um, so a couple of quick things. Um, I told you, obviously I told you, I was listening to the Al Pacino book. Um, and I was listening to that a little bit more on the way back and forth when I was, uh, when I went and back and forth to Wisconsin.
00:47:16.87
Mike
Yeah.
00:47:21.67
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:47:21.99
Bill
and So a couple of things. And and I knew he was, um, you knew he was sober now, right? Or didn't drink.
00:47:28.35
Mike
Uh, I did not, but okay.
00:47:30.46
Bill
Okay, I think I had, when he started talking about it, I think I had heard about it at some point, but I didn't really know what the deal was. So he got into that part, um I'm more than happily through the book now, but he did, he openly said that he tried out Alcoholics Anonymous, um said it wasn't necessarily for him, but he ended up staying sober um through therapy and other practices or whatever the deal is.
00:47:47.19
Mike
Right.
00:47:52.49
Bill
But um it's been a long time, I think it was back in the, fuck I can't I don't even remember now you know but he's been he's been booze free alcohol free whatever it is for for a long time and you know he talked about his kind of his escalation up to that point and um but yeah you know so I didn't I didn't know but yeah so he he dipped his toe in the whole AA thing but ended up staying sober in other ways
00:48:00.88
Mike
Right. right
00:48:13.39
Mike
Mm-hmm, right right
00:48:15.68
Bill
but then this was kind of funny. um he's He's talking and he's talking about somebody and somebody that he encountered through one of his one of his things. And he he basically just said, he goes, he goes, yeah, this person, Mike, I'll use your name, okay? He goes, he goes, yeah, this guy, Mike, he goes, he was he was as dumb as a doughnut.
00:48:38.07
Bill
And I don't know why that made me laugh so fucking much, but I'm like, dumb as a donut, what the fuck does it even mean?
00:48:44.11
Mike
and citizen Yeah.
00:48:44.27
Bill
But I'm like, and like it's fucking hilarious. you know But yeah, he's got these little things. he's I mean, he's a, again, 85-year-old man or something like that.
00:48:52.31
Mike
Right.
00:48:52.71
Bill
so Um, a lot of his, you know, things he says like that, they're, they're some of these old school things, but, um, he is a treat, but you can always tell, you know, when he's got a, he's got a pause and like I say, he's got to clear his fucking throat because, uh, um, yeah, I'll be just like, come on, dude.
00:49:09.10
Bill
And then you you can tell when he comes back because he's all all you know again you know clear voiced again but I get highly recommended it's been a it's been a great it's been a great book so far a great story.
00:49:13.23
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:49:16.69
Mike
Cool.
00:49:18.84
Bill
um One of the things that I wrote down and I think it came up on, it doesn't even fucking matter. so Alcoholism or um you know any sort of alcohol drug abuse that sort of thing from a um Hereditary standpoint and what it was I there was a conversation it was i I wrote it down heard on a podcast and I don't think we've like touched on it in a while and I just thought it might be interesting because you and I both have backgrounds you know family backgrounds and stuff like that. And I just wanted to get your, maybe just have a little bit of an open conversation about that, about what what our thoughts were on. Is it, is it hereditary? Is it environmental? um you know Why do why did people become who they become? What but are your thoughts?
00:50:02.36
Mike
Um, i I mean, yes, it's both. Um, I, I threw, yeah, I believe it's both. Um, it clearly hereditary. I've got it plenty in my family. Um, but I mean, you know, those old timers, we've heard plenty of time. So we'll talk about that and they'll go, but that's not why I'm an alcoholic.
00:50:20.24
Bill
Right.
00:50:21.12
Mike
I'm an alcoholic because I drink too much too often, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:21.25
Bill
Right.
00:50:25.44
Mike
um yeah And again, I found the answer in the big book. you know The root of our troubles is selfishness and self-centeredness, which means that all my other problems, including alcoholism, stem from that.
00:50:34.04
Bill
right
00:50:39.29
Mike
That is the root that all of my problems stem from. Um, yeah, no, I'm an alcoholic. Yes. I became physically addicted to alcohol and other substances, other forms of alcohol. Got to hate that. Um, but yes, I became physically addicted because I kept putting the shit in me and that's physical. ah Physiologically what happens? Um, but yeah, you know, it comes from, I wanted to feel good all the time. Um, that's selfishness and self centeredness. Um,
00:51:12.59
Mike
Yeah, you know, it's both. And again, but I do like the old guys that say, but that's not why I'm an alcoholic because that's not why I'm an alcoholic. like I'm, you know, environment, heredity doesn't fucking matter. What matters is I wanted to feel good all the time because I'm selfish and self-centered and that's why I'm an alcoholic.
00:51:33.68
Bill
Right. Yeah, and I mean, I agree with you wholeheartedly because it's, and we talked about the fact that, you know, let me clearly, I didn't realize this until after I got sober, but, you know, I never i never drank, um I never drank for enjoyment. You know, I mean, I never drank as a,
00:51:52.86
Bill
Let's go out to a restaurant and you know have a beer with dinner and then you know go home for the night and you know have my my tea and whatever and go to bed.
00:52:00.10
Mike
c Right.
00:52:01.38
Bill
you know I just say, I never did that. you know And it wasn't a conscious decision to begin with you know for me to say that um I need to go out and have 27 beers and black out, ah because that's what I'm looking for.
00:52:09.17
Mike
Uh-huh.
00:52:13.14
Bill
So it wasn't that extreme either.
00:52:13.35
Mike
Hmm.
00:52:15.36
Bill
um But I did. i mean we I think over the last couple of weeks we talked about that, you know, we, you get that, that first, that first buzz or that even, you know, buzz from a cigarette or something like that, you know, you get that first, that first feeling and you're like, fuck man, I like that, you know, and I, I want more of that.
00:52:26.56
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
00:52:32.95
Bill
And, you know, then you chase it for the rest of your fucking life, you know, or until you decide to, you know, get, get, well, you don't decide till you get dropped off of the the doorstep of the Keating Center.
00:52:33.20
Mike
Right.
00:52:36.22
Mike
Right.
00:52:44.13
Bill
But you know what, that in, here's Here's the thing and in my opinion, and and I agree with the old timers. I mentioned my dad every time I i lead a meeting of of AA, and the fact that he was sober, this and that, and but I always try to make it a point. i'm like you know it's ah it's irrelevant, you know, on whether he was or wasn't, in my opinion, it's irrelevant. And quite honestly, at this point, um and you know, I came to this, I don't want to say conclusion, but decision a decision a number of years ago is that I don't care um why I'm an alcoholic, I just know that I'm i'm grateful that I am again grateful
00:53:19.45
Bill
that I know that I am, that I know there's a solution, and I know that I'm part of it, you know?
00:53:22.70
Mike
Right. Yep.
00:53:25.14
Bill
And even when I first got sober and I started talking to my son, he's a little fucking nine-year-old kid, you know?
00:53:28.43
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:53:29.80
Bill
And I'm telling him, you know, I'm sitting there, I'm like this hypersensitive, first of all, wanting to find out how did I wrong you, young man, so I could make it up to you, but also just telling him, you know, kind of laying it out, say, just so you know.
00:53:37.04
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:53:43.00
Bill
Um, grandpa was I am, um, I think, um, you know, that but my, my grandpa, on my dad, my dad's dad may have had, I just, I remember some, I don't know, sideline conversations. Maybe he had some struggles. I don't think he was a full blown, but I don't know.
00:53:59.57
Mike
Right.
00:53:59.67
Bill
um you know but it's you know ah it's on it's on mom's side of the family you know too.
00:54:02.84
Mike
Uh huh.
00:54:05.16
Bill
you know So um where it came from, you know I don't know, but i I remember telling Derek, I'm like, it doesn't mean that you know you're not doomed to be, you know but I said, the only thing is I said, you need to be aware, you need to be mindful of what this family history is, that's it.
00:54:05.46
Mike
Right.
00:54:14.60
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yep.
00:54:21.02
Mike
Uh-huh. Yeah.
00:54:22.38
Bill
you know And just to put a little bit of um knowledge and in his head or or anyone's head, you know?
00:54:28.63
Mike
Right.
00:54:29.17
Bill
If nothing else, just be fucking mindful.
00:54:31.12
Mike
Yep.
00:54:32.41
Bill
90% of the people that drive down this street end up crashing. So just be mindful if you're gonna but going to drive down this street, it could happen, you know?
00:54:35.80
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:54:39.73
Mike
Right.
00:54:40.44
Bill
um But, you know, i look you know kathy and i Kathy and I came from the same family. Does she does she have addictive tendencies?
00:54:45.28
Mike
Right.
00:54:48.72
Bill
if Could she become, or could she be addicted to? She's openly said that she doesn't understand addiction in any way, shape, or form.
00:54:56.39
Mike
Right.
00:54:57.55
Bill
personally like physically doesn't understand it.
00:54:59.63
Mike
he Sure.
00:55:00.39
Bill
um She's supportive and she's there for us and you know that sort of thing, but she doesn't understand what it is to be addicted to something. you know So did she never push all the buttons?
00:55:08.79
Mike
Right.
00:55:11.71
Bill
I don't know. you know But again, it what it really comes down to is I think for for anyone out there that if you're if you're newly sober and you're trying to figure out why you became who you are, it really doesn't fucking matter.
00:55:24.60
Mike
Right.
00:55:25.79
Bill
it just It just doesn't. you know And the the only reason I wanted to talk about this was just to kind of, ah if nothing else, just but let people understand that don't don't try to fucking figure it out.
00:55:37.37
Mike
Right.
00:55:37.51
Bill
you know if if If right now today you are or you you have a problem, you don't you don't need an excuse of why.
00:55:43.95
Mike
Right. Exactly. Yeah, there is. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:55:48.00
Bill
ha
00:55:48.78
Mike
Bill Murray and Meatballs just doesn't
00:55:50.28
Bill
It just doesn't matter.
00:55:52.41
Mike
matter and it doesn't absolutely not.
00:55:55.11
Bill
yeah Right.
00:55:56.63
Mike
Right. Yeah. The fact is I am and okay. Move forward.
00:56:00.86
Bill
Right.
00:56:01.33
Mike
You know, it's back to that first step. Shit. Do I have any power over it? Nope. Okay. Then moving on.
00:56:05.04
Bill
Right. Yeah. And you know what, I mean, my, my dad, uh, you know, I, I knew, I knew just enough about alcohol oxygen on them to say, maybe he talk to us. We saw all the, you know, all the damage that he did and all that stuff.
00:56:16.51
Bill
And, um, it didn't change, you know, who I became, you know, I, of course, I don't know if I ever vowed to, but I never wanted to, you know, like when, you know, when you're 12 years old and that's about the time I, my dad got sober, I think I've never sat back and I'm like, you know what?
00:56:18.73
Mike
Right. Right.
00:56:26.22
Mike
Uh huh.
00:56:30.90
Bill
I wanna ruin my life just like him, you know?
00:56:33.92
Mike
Right.
00:56:34.94
Bill
I wanna make sure that I that i fuck up my my family and my kids, that all these different things, i want that's what I wanna do with my life, you know?
00:56:35.23
Mike
yeah
00:56:43.40
Mike
Right.
00:56:44.01
Bill
Or on the other hand, I never sat back and like, well, I'm fucking doomed. you know it must be hereditary this is who i am you know it's not like you're you weren't born even if you were you know you can you can change who you are you could be different you know yeah i can't i'll suppose contacts i could change the you know my eye color but you know it was what i was born with but does it even fucking matter you know it doesn't you know
00:56:54.10
Mike
Hmm.
00:57:03.97
Mike
Yeah. That doesn't right. And I mean, most of the time, I mean, the majority of people who, you know, either did or did well that did, you know, that had a parent or a family member or whatever.
00:57:16.69
Mike
I mean, most of us go, yeah, well that's them, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm better than that. Right.
00:57:21.95
Bill
Yeah, right.
00:57:22.23
Mike
You know, it's not going to happen to me. I can fucking handle it.
00:57:25.56
Bill
Right.
00:57:25.58
Mike
Yeah. No, which is just as retarded. So ah
00:57:29.07
Bill
Right. Well, and that's the that's the um adult children's of alcoholics book that my dad gave me.
00:57:35.11
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:57:36.19
Bill
you know It can never happen to me.
00:57:36.80
Mike
Right.
00:57:37.39
Bill
And then you know i got it I bought a ah copy of it for you know both Kimmy and Derek.
00:57:38.13
Mike
Right.
00:57:40.94
Bill
you know I said, im not this just has nothing to do with anything. But I'm just like, you know to both of them, I said, I was given this book when I was you know probably your age or younger.
00:57:48.99
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:57:49.75
Bill
and you know If you if you read it fine if you never fucking read it, you know, I mean that's fine too when I was it it was funny when I was at Kimmy and b Brian's I forget ah a Couple months ago.
00:57:56.01
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:58:00.26
Bill
They were I was one of the I said I was babysitting for Ollie and I was in there like there Oh, I know what it was. I was I was putting I had the air mattress back in the Well, you've never been to go.
00:58:10.90
Bill
Yeah, you were at their house.
00:58:12.09
Mike
I was at their house with a living group.
00:58:13.88
Bill
Yeah. So from, from the living room area towards the back, there's a, like a, Kimmy's got an office area and I set the, um, air mattress back up there cause Ali's got his own room now. So there was cribs in there. So that's where I was sleeping. I'm like, why was I in that room? Um, but you know, Kimmy's got that book up on a shelf in there, you know, and, um, I felt like I brought it up to her and like, Oh, I see you still on the book. Yeah. I
00:58:30.09
Mike
Right?
00:58:34.99
Mike
a
00:58:36.35
Bill
And again, i when I gave the book to Derek, I told him, I said, I will never ask you about this again.
00:58:40.76
Mike
right
00:58:41.22
Bill
I said, if you ever have any questions, if you choose to read it, fine. If you use it as a fucking coaster, I don't care.
00:58:45.74
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:58:46.32
Bill
you know it's just It's got some knowledge if you're interested in in reading it, but but again, it doesn't mean that you're gonna be me.
00:58:53.00
Mike
Right.
00:58:54.19
Bill
you know so I don't know it just always kind of blows my mind and it goes back to the you know the whole um everyone you know the not everyone but the the mindset these days that you know everything that's happening to us now in our lives has to be traced back to you know some traumatic events no one does it it doesn't always you know right
00:59:08.55
Mike
Right. Well, yeah, right. ah Well, that's ah shifting blame. it's It's somebody else's fault. It's some other force that made me do this. you know and Again, back to the freedom, man. There is no fucking other force that makes me do anything. I am fully responsible for myself, and that's a beautiful fucking thing, good and bad.
00:59:32.73
Bill
Right? Yeah. I mean, and in again, that goes back to our choices. you know i'm I'm grateful for choices, and but you know the the main thing is I'm really grateful for the fact that I do know right and wrong these days, and I do know rut the what?
00:59:43.88
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. What?
00:59:48.81
Bill
right are I do know what the right choices are for me as long as I keep doing the fucking work All right, so fuck her editor her heredity the jeans nobody gives a fuck nobody gives a fuck but Exactly we are what we are yam what I am
00:59:54.50
Mike
Yep.
01:00:03.43
Mike
Yes. isn Right. You know, it may be a cause, but so fucking who cares? Yeah. Mm hmm. That's all what I am.
01:00:15.76
Bill
All right, so another one from God grant me is agreed to do all the talking and not want to listen at all. And the reason I wrote this down, I made myself a ah note here, it was talking about dealing with newcomers, you know, as far as like what the correct balance is and that sort of thing.
01:00:30.34
Mike
Sure. Hmm.
01:00:33.73
Bill
So it was, I didn't know what to think about it again, but I'll read it, I'll read it again. So it is, is it greed to do all the talking and not want to listen at all? And maybe specifically with a newcomer.
01:00:46.41
Mike
Sure. Um, yeah it's a factor of it. Yes. It is greedy. It's also, it's also a waste of goddamn time because, uh, you know, right. I mean, you need to let them talk. They need to, again, it's, it's part of the process, man. We need to learn to open up and share things, which is not our nature, not my nature. Um,
01:01:09.57
Mike
So yeah, I mean, that's the beginning of it. You gotta let them open up and and share the shit that's going on with them. And, you know, even though we could sit there and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I bet they're rare. I'll tell you a kid.
01:01:21.17
Mike
i already done it. You don't need to tell me. No, they do need to **** tell us because we need to **** be reminded and they also need to start working that muscle and that's important.
01:01:30.08
Bill
Right.
01:01:30.86
Mike
So, yeah, it's very greedy to sit there. Plus, it's it's again, it's a waste of goddamn time because you know, I can sit there and give you the solution. I can tell you how this **** works but you need to actually work it.
01:01:45.52
Mike
So, yeah, it's a waste of goddamn time and we all know i not into wasting time anymore.
01:01:54.02
Bill
Yeah, and that's ah that's a good point. you know I mean, ah telling somebody how to um just lip service on how to make a fucking cake.
01:02:00.19
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:02:00.98
Bill
you know No, they gotta to get in there and they have to, I'm gonna give you the recipe. i I will answer any questions about this.
01:02:05.00
Mike
Yep. Right.
01:02:07.22
Bill
I'm gonna tell you, because they even say you know in the book, you know yeah you get somebody with the initial 12 step stuff and you know try to get them when they're just coming out of it so they're you know a little bit weak and shaky and stuff like that more app or have to listen.
01:02:14.17
Mike
Uh huh. Yep.
01:02:18.90
Bill
but Even that being put aside, they say, you know, just start telling them, you tell them a little bit about yourself, and then you gotta, they gotta start asking questions.
01:02:24.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:02:26.07
Bill
If they don't ask you questions, I mean, what the fuck?
01:02:27.90
Mike
Right.
01:02:29.11
Bill
I mean, you're, all you can do is, you know, drop a couple of seeds and plant a few of them and, you know, whatever happens happens, right?
01:02:33.17
Mike
help Yeah, absolutely. I could give you the answers, but you need to ask the fucking questions. so Otherwise they don't mean anything to you.
01:02:39.95
Bill
Right. Yeah, that's a, that's a damn good point, right?
01:02:48.25
Bill
All right, so um who where did this one go? So this is kind of a two-part thing. First one was, and this was on a, I heard it on a podcast.
01:03:00.21
Bill
Have you ever had anyone tell you that they didn't think your program is working and possibly by the way you were acting? There's a second question, but um that's let's start with that one first.
01:03:09.59
Mike
Ah,
01:03:13.68
Bill
Have you ever had someone tell you that you don't they don't think your program is working? And as a result of, let's say, by the way, you're acting.
01:03:21.87
Mike
um no, thankfully grateful that that's never happened.
01:03:24.36
Bill
Oh, this gratitude stuff again.
01:03:26.32
Mike
Um, Right. Well, i mean ah now I'm thinking about it a bit and um I've had people, I've had people use it wrong. um I've had people say, you know, that to cover up their own bad behavior.
01:03:44.10
Mike
um yeah yeah You're not reacting to me properly, you must not be working a good program, that sort of bullshit.
01:03:50.76
Bill
Ah, okay.
01:03:50.83
Mike
um Yeah, right, and I just look at him and go, okay, that's fine, that's what you think and feel, and that's how you're rationalizing your own bullshit, and no, thank you. um But seriously, I mean, I've had people correct behaviors of mine, but they anybody that did that properly didn't bring into didn't bring into it the fact that I wasn't working my program, right?
01:04:18.57
Mike
Um, they just, you know, say, Hey, you're doing this and it's wrong and, and you need to stop doing it. And it, you know, so yeah, okay.
01:04:24.18
Bill
Right.
01:04:26.05
Mike
that Then my program is working because I, I heard that and stop doing it. Yeah. Um, you know, I suppose if I can continue to do it and, uh, that they could probably honestly, uh, rationally bring that up to me.
01:04:41.48
Mike
Hey man. But, um, yeah. Now, um, that specifically has never happened again. I've had people, you know, Hey, guess what?
01:04:52.11
Mike
Aren't in my life anymore. Um, you know, yeah you're not working a good program because I don't like the way that you're acting.
01:04:53.76
Bill
Right.
01:04:58.45
Mike
Um, because you're reacting to my bad behavior in a way that I don't like. Um, yeah, but thankfully great grateful that, uh, no, that's never actually happened.
01:05:11.97
Bill
Yeah, and you know what, at at the time, and like I said, I was listening to um a podcast. I'm not going to bring up the podcast that it was on because the know even though the person openly said it on there, I guess it's it is what it is. But um it was an individual in the person's life that had said that too, but it was based on the way that the person was acting.
01:05:29.59
Bill
And and he um he reacted to it as in kind of a, you know almost a what the fuck moment. It was a a significant other. And again, more I guess more to your point, you know basically saying he wasn't reacting or acting the right way and maybe response to something.
01:05:46.64
Bill
But you know what, he he actually went he went to a meeting and he talked about it and, you know, was able to kind of get it off his chest and said, you know, kind of looked at something and said, you know what, um maybe my, it to kind of figured out that maybe my reaction wasn't the best. It doesn't mean I'm not working a proper program, but maybe I'm just, I bottle up a couple of things, blah, blah, blah, and I need to focus on these types of things. So it was a little bit of an eye opener, but said in the in a weird way from this individual,
01:06:13.05
Mike
Right.
01:06:13.25
Bill
And you know I was thinking back, I'm like, I don't think, I think theyre you know the the thing of it is that I um i don't believe i've I've had anyone say anything like that to me that I can recall.
01:06:21.70
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:06:23.20
Bill
But I'm sure that if it if it would have been said, it would have been in a relationship that I had with somebody, it wouldn't have to be a significant other type of thing, but that I was having a problem with.
01:06:32.45
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:06:34.76
Bill
And I think that that i think that somebody could easily use that against me as a trying to push a button or trying to win an argument, quote unquote,
01:06:39.15
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right, right.
01:06:42.91
Bill
um And it's not gonna, it's not gonna win.
01:06:45.11
Mike
hey Right?
01:06:46.41
Bill
so But dumb yeah, just ah it was it was interesting. But my second question though was, have you ever had any one question, the time that you put into your sobriety?
01:06:56.75
Bill
And what I mean by this is my own personal question.
01:06:57.59
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:06:59.79
Bill
Maybe that person felt that they weren't getting enough time from you or you were off, oh, you gotta go to another meeting.
01:07:04.21
Mike
Ah.
01:07:06.04
Bill
You don't have enough time for me, that sort of thing. Has that ever happened?
01:07:11.10
Mike
That has never happened to me. um And yeah. um Again, anybody that that I'm in a relationship with that i'm i'm that means something wouldn't fucking do that.
01:07:26.70
Bill
Right.
01:07:26.90
Mike
um you know And if they did, well, fucks your problem.
01:07:32.15
Bill
Right.
01:07:32.33
Mike
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, anybody that I've allowed into my life at this point, you know, if they're not going to do that, that's just no.
01:07:43.76
Bill
Right.
01:07:50.71
Bill
Yeah, and i i I had that happen at one time and I and i was talking about it actually with when we had Dr. Sarah on the second time and I know I brought it up on here. It was just somebody else hanging out for a while and again, things got a little weird with us and you know she was wondering, you know it's like, well, I'm not trying to do this, but you yeah you don't have time for me, but you have time for this.
01:08:01.28
Mike
Right.
01:08:08.30
Bill
It was that sort of thing. you know And and you know then when it turned into, it wasn't really even that, it was kind of a, it was a trust thing. So it came up to a thing like, oh are you really always going to, doing a meeting on a Friday night type of thing?
01:08:17.10
Mike
Right.
01:08:21.78
Bill
And I'm like, and i'm like yeah, yeah if you if you can't trust me, then I can't ah can't be around you.
01:08:21.89
Mike
that Right.
01:08:27.35
Bill
you know And i said I said, especially if you can't trust that I'm doing, especially that.
01:08:28.02
Mike
Exactly.
01:08:32.70
Bill
you know um I mean, if you wanna trust where i where I was for the last hour, I'll show you my fucking Google timeline, I don't give a fuck.
01:08:32.69
Mike
Right. Mhm.
01:08:40.25
Bill
You know if but if I show you this that we're done, you know, because if you don't trust me um I'll show you exactly where I went every fucking place.
01:08:43.48
Mike
Right.
01:08:46.33
Mike
Mhm.
01:08:46.65
Bill
You can see it right here You know, I can show you for the last however many years I've had it on here But um you know, we're going to be done because I can't do I can't play that um But yeah when it came if it came to a sobriety thing and i and I mentioned that too I'm like I can't I can't be questioned about this you know
01:09:02.35
Mike
Right.
01:09:02.85
Bill
um I'm doing these things for me and um you know in I don't even think I said it to the person because at that point it didn't matter. But i I know for a fact that the people around us know that it benefits them just as much as us when we go and do our thing.
01:09:15.78
Mike
Right.
01:09:19.56
Bill
No, go ahead, go do your thing. They they don't forget.
01:09:21.64
Mike
Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and if you're trying to use that against me, bye.
01:09:29.79
Bill
Right. Yeah. And it just, uh, like I said, it was it was on a podcast. There's a weird situation and I was just kind of like, whoa, really? Um, it just seemed, uh, I mean, a person flat out said, yeah, well you, you're not working a very good program right now. And they the dude's like, what? What? And I would have, I would have said the right, I think I would have just been, um, I didn't even know. I think I just would have been so surprised. I don't think I would have known what to say, you know?
01:09:57.48
Mike
again, you know it don't try to fucking manipulate me by saying I'm not working a good program because Yeah, fuck you
01:10:03.70
Bill
Right?
01:10:06.44
Bill
yeah Fuck you and see you later. So um another thing too, and this was from a little while ago, but do you ever you ever experience any sort of ah social anxiety? I know you said you'd rather sit home and not do anything type of thing, but um This probably came up on a, this probably came up on a podcast, but so social anxiety or low self-esteem and mainly what the difference would be between now and then.
01:10:30.08
Mike
Hmm.
01:10:33.59
Bill
So I just, even, even now though, for instance, some and I don't, I think I know the answer, but I don't know that we've ever talked about that, but do you, yeah like even now, do you ever have any sort of like social anxiety?
01:10:40.62
Mike
Right.
01:10:45.51
Mike
I mean, Um, not the way it's meant.
01:10:50.57
Bill
Right.
01:10:50.92
Mike
Um, yeah, no, I, I, I mean, there's plenty of times where I don't want to be in a social situation. and Um, but that's generally, it's because people are fucking idiots and I don't like being around idiots.
01:10:59.71
Bill
Right.
01:11:07.02
Mike
Um, it's not anxiety. It's, it's just, um, I, Yeah, again, situations and and and social constructs that I find stupid that I don't want to be a part of. um Yes, it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me whatever, but it's mostly it's just, I don't want to be involved in in this lameness.
01:11:29.01
Mike
ah
01:11:30.46
Bill
whatever whatever this thing is.
01:11:32.22
Mike
Right, whatever this garbage is that you people are fucking doing, I don't want to have any part of it. of So, right, you know, I'm, again, you know, I'm going out tonight, I'm going to a bar, I'm going to listen to a band that I like, play some music. um There's going to be behaviors around me that I'm going to find disgusting.
01:11:51.57
Mike
tonight. And that's fine. I'm ready for it. you know But I am certainly not going to participate and I'm certainly not going to um feel bad that I'm not. hey it's I'm here to listen to some music and when the music's done, I'm going home.
01:12:08.44
Mike
You know, and um yeah. And I'm not showing up early just to hang out. And again, the whole thing I want no part of. Um, but that's, that's fine.
01:12:18.78
Mike
And I don't have to, I have choices today. I'm grateful for that.
01:12:24.72
Bill
Isn't it fun how we're weaving in these little gratitude moments?
01:12:26.63
Mike
It is.
01:12:28.33
Bill
We're just keeping it real, man.
01:12:30.63
Mike
Yeah, man.
01:12:31.85
Bill
Just just having a conversation to prove that we're fucking grateful all the time, man.
01:12:36.80
Mike
Right.
01:12:37.57
Bill
Which is untrue.
01:12:39.34
Mike
here Now.
01:12:40.02
Bill
yeah at least i don't yeah i don't practice gratitude as much as i i know i don't as much as i should but but yes you know that um the social anxiety thing uh and even well i mean i i know kimberly and brian but um you know you just and walking into anything like that i'm i'm comfortable around them they know my deal i didn't it wasn't a weird circumstance but
01:12:45.66
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:12:53.06
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:13:01.09
Mike
Right.
01:13:01.23
Bill
um You know, it's like when when we walked in, um Brian had the game on, the the Bears, and obviously the Bears and the Lions game was on. And and we started started talking about football. We were shooting the shit about football for, you know, 10 minutes or something like that.
01:13:14.17
Mike
Uh huh.
01:13:14.52
Bill
Then I'll sat down and we'll just all start shooting the shit about whatever. But again, these are just, you know, people we know and and stuff like that. But um i it's been, I can't even, I think the only time that I would be in a situation where I would have any sort of anxiety in a social situation is if I was forced to force to go someplace that I not only didn't want to be, but that I truly shouldn't be.
01:13:35.63
Mike
Hmm.
01:13:40.90
Bill
you know um But i I mean, again, thankfully, I don't have, I can't think of anyone in my life that, because I i have the freedom of choice.
01:13:40.92
Mike
Right.
01:13:49.36
Bill
I had the fucking freedom of no.
01:13:50.13
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:13:51.08
Bill
you know
01:13:51.65
Mike
Yeah.
01:13:52.20
Bill
And i it doesn't bother me to be around, like you said, go to a fucking bar, watch some music and whatever. It doesn't bother me to do that, but maybe under a certain circumstance, I wouldn't do something like that.
01:14:03.23
Bill
I'm like, ah i feel fuck I don't feel like fucking dealing with it.
01:14:05.22
Mike
Right, right.
01:14:06.52
Bill
I don't be feel like being in that situation. so But if I was forced to go, maybe it would be a little bit of anxiety.
01:14:09.09
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:14:12.31
Bill
But yeah, like you said, probably not in, social anxiety in the sense that that probably i it was mentioned or however made me write that down is yeah people just freak out being out in a social setting.
01:14:19.85
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:14:23.70
Bill
you know
01:14:24.02
Mike
Right. Yeah. You know, and I mean, i I don't like small talk and I don't like, you know, all that garbage, right? I don't like it. Um, so therefore I don't participate in it anymore. Cause I don't have to cause I have choices.
01:14:33.88
Bill
Right?
01:14:37.06
Mike
Yay.
01:14:37.49
Bill
Because I don't have to.
01:14:38.84
Mike
That's right.
01:14:39.55
Bill
So there.
01:14:40.46
Mike
Yup.
01:14:41.75
Bill
And then the other part of the the thing was, have you ever, even like but prior to getting sober, did you ever have low self-esteem at that point? I mean, I think both of us are pretty goddamn comfortable in our skin these days, but um did you ever feel like or or have a low self-esteem prior?
01:14:54.32
Mike
Yeah.
01:14:58.54
Mike
Oh, well, yeah, of course. I was fucking drunk and a junkie. How the hell are you going to feel good about yourself like that?
01:15:06.49
Bill
Yeah, that's well, I mean, yeah you could have been completely delusional, you know, or but.
01:15:10.18
Mike
Hmm. Right. That, you know, I'm clearly there are times that I was, but, um, yeah, for the, for the most part, no, of course I i was less than yes.
01:15:11.66
Bill
duck
01:15:19.26
Bill
Right.
01:15:19.79
Mike
And at the same time, better than right. As we discussed last week, I was a fucking wonderful drunk.
01:15:23.01
Bill
Yeah. yeah
01:15:26.92
Mike
I was his greatest drunk in the goddamn world.
01:15:29.39
Bill
he drank better than everyone.
01:15:31.46
Mike
That's right.
01:15:32.63
Bill
But yes, it's kind of funny that you know in in those circumstances, I mean, I would i was probably more uncomfortable then um than that I am now walking into you know a social setting you know and and you always walking in and being like, okay, what can I do to just kind of fit in right away?
01:15:38.96
Mike
Hmm.
01:15:44.07
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:15:49.09
Bill
And that's when you know people, everyone's drinking.
01:15:49.33
Mike
Right.
01:15:51.14
Bill
So, you know hey, you just go up and order a drink and then you're just kind of standing there and you got your drink and you're like, okay, I'm part of.
01:15:55.01
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:15:56.62
Bill
you know
01:15:56.99
Mike
Right.
01:15:57.67
Bill
Um, and I just don't, I don't have the, well, I don't, again, I don't put myself in situations like that where I've got to like stand there and like, I blend in you know or try to make myself blend in.
01:16:05.83
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:16:09.35
Bill
You know, I just, I, again, choices, man. Fucking choices.
01:16:12.28
Mike
Yep.
01:16:14.97
Bill
but uh i don't know it's just self-esteem i once again i i know i'm not perfect i'm not there there's things i always want to keep growing and and all those sort of things and you know things that i want to do with my life but i mean i i'm comfortable with you know with myself and i'm comfortable in my own skin and
01:16:29.89
Mike
Out.
01:16:31.77
Bill
um I mean, if, if, if I find out somebody and I haven't found out somebody that like fucking despised me in a long time, it would probably surprise me more than anything. And I would wonder about thinking, well, what the, and then I'd be like, ah, fuck it.
01:16:44.17
Bill
Again, back to, back to step one stuff, you know?
01:16:45.27
Mike
right Yeah, right. Well, I mean, if you despise me, um, I know most of the time I'm doing the right thing and and what's good and decent in the world mostly.
01:16:59.60
Bill
Right.
01:16:59.66
Mike
And, um, yeah, if you despise me, well, what the fuck's wrong with you? The hell are you doing?
01:17:05.98
Bill
Yeah. I mean, I'm just, I'm just over here kind of doing my own thing, trying not to, trying not to fuck with people.
01:17:08.73
Mike
Yep.
01:17:10.50
Bill
and How do you hate me?
01:17:11.92
Mike
Right.
01:17:12.38
Bill
I mean, I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect or anything like that, but, um, you know, maybe if I, again, how do we talk about the steps all the time?
01:17:14.59
Mike
No.
01:17:19.59
Bill
How do I make amends to somebody? Did, do I, does, does this person, do I owe this person, you know, some sort of amends that I do something?
01:17:24.39
Mike
Hmm. Right.
01:17:26.54
Bill
If I did fucking tell me, I'll try to fix it.
01:17:28.66
Mike
Oh, absolutely.
01:17:28.87
Bill
But still, yeah.
01:17:29.18
Mike
If I deserve your fucking hatred, that's fine. But if I don't, then I don't care.
01:17:32.65
Bill
yeah
01:17:35.35
Bill
but
01:17:41.85
Bill
the whole phoenix thing first of all as a side note it's it's like i don't know twenty one fucking degrees here it's fucking cold and i hate it as ah again i mentioned before i hate fucking cold it's like seventy it's like seventy degrees in feedx right now
01:17:48.29
Mike
Yep. Right.
01:17:54.46
Bill
i thought a bitch but um but I'm starting to um starting to kind of build that build that whole trip. And it's ah it's a process because I was trying to figure out, I've got two weeks already booked in Phoenix, but I want to book one more week while I'm out there because Kimmy and Brian are going to be out there.
01:18:02.11
Mike
Hmm.
01:18:10.31
Bill
We're going to try to hit the Grand Canyon one day. So trying to find a place a little bit farther north, the places that are available thin out you know because it's just they're they're more expensive, whatever.
01:18:12.37
Mike
Hmm.
01:18:17.23
Mike
Right.
01:18:19.84
Mike
Yeah.
01:18:20.06
Bill
So trying to figure out all this different stuff and then I think I'm going to stop in on the way down. I'm going to take the biggest part of the trip on the way on the way.
01:18:27.03
Mike
Hmm.
01:18:28.23
Bill
First, I get a trip on down there in Oklahoma City because I can go hang out with my friend Morgan again. She's doing something with her with her kids on New Year's Eve going to some game that does she's like, oh, if you're here, you can tag along.
01:18:33.43
Mike
Right.
01:18:38.73
Mike
Right.
01:18:38.82
Bill
So anyhow, you know, cause I think it'd be end of December through like January 4th, that'd be the start of, but then, you know, so trying to plan all this because it's going to be that, then maybe somewhere around New Mexico, again, maybe Albuquerque or something, I don't know.
01:18:42.74
Mike
Uh huh.
01:18:51.68
Bill
um And then Phoenix, and then I can't get my ass back here too, you know?
01:18:54.70
Mike
Right.
01:18:56.18
Bill
So, um, but I mean, I'm thinking about this and I mean, part of it, not, it's not frustrating. I'm just thinking to my head. I'm like, that's a lot of fucking work. And it's, it's going to be Phoenix all thought whole area is more expensive, but I'm getting it all worked out. Um, but again, I mean, I'm, I, again, forgetting to be grateful, you know, I've got to be grateful that I'm, I, I know what's going to get done. I just got to have the patience. So one step at a time, each different place, cause there's a lot of different, you know, pieces to this goddamn puzzle.
01:19:22.15
Mike
yeah
01:19:22.39
Bill
um and it is just trying to put all the stuff together. it's ah It's a bit of a challenge, but I'm like, what a good fucking challenge.
01:19:26.95
Mike
Hmm Right nice problem to have
01:19:29.22
Bill
You know, it it is. It's a nice problem and a nice challenge to have, but but man, I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be, ah again, a lot of driving and stuff like that, which I don't give a fuck. That goes back to the moments because to begin with what I was going to do, I was going to do Oklahoma City and then just drive out the Phoenix after that. So do two weekends of like 12 hours one weekend or 11 and a half and then 13 or 14 the next. Then I'm like, you know what, back to the moment thing.
01:19:55.59
Bill
i said i i've got the time you know i don't i i can set up when i want to be there so why don't i stop someplace in between to go see some fucking shit even for one god damn day why do i have to do that you know so i'm like okay calm it down and i'm like god i'm gonna i'm gonna again back to the moments thing we were talking about so
01:19:59.07
Mike
Right.
01:20:04.81
Mike
right
01:20:16.94
Bill
Um, but yeah, it'll be a little weird. It'll be a first time. Um, you know, cause I've worked in this central to earth, obviously central where I, where I am most of the time where the company is done Eastern.
01:20:23.59
Mike
Right.
01:20:25.71
Bill
That's a nine to six, but this will, this will be a seven to four, which again, not a big deal. Just adjusting my, my clock by one hour the other direction, but it'd be a little odd, you know, starting work at it's seven o'clock in the morning, but what the fuck do I care?
01:20:33.60
Mike
Right.
01:20:39.05
Bill
You know, I mean, seriously.
01:20:39.14
Mike
Mm-hmm I am ready
01:20:39.89
Bill
So. um But all right, so like last thing here, hang on one second, I wanna grab my phone. Are you ready for a news story, Mike?
01:20:50.92
Bill
And this one is funny throughout the week, i nothing really came up and i it just crossed my mind yesterday. I'm like, God, I don't have any news stories. It's kind of been it's kind of been a thing, you know, I big get get these fucking news stories.
01:21:02.68
Bill
And this one, I swear to God, about an hour after um you texted me this morning, I popped on my phone and I'm looking at something, I'm like, holy shit, I found one. And I wasn't even looking for it, it just popped out.
01:21:14.21
Bill
so
01:21:14.50
Mike
Nice.
01:21:15.80
Bill
Headline, Wisconsin bar shut down after chickens and cocaine found inside.
01:21:23.96
Mike
That's a party.
01:21:26.08
Bill
Yeah, that's a fucking headline, right? It wasn't just, you know, in Google, it's just these highlighted stories. I'm like, oh, this is fucking gold. um and it's the, hang on one second, officers recovered.
01:21:39.91
Bill
This is a this is a bar and it's on 12th and National in Milwaukee, which is not the greatest, ah because the way it started off, it said after closing Tuesday night, owner blah, blah, blah of whatever tavern, his license was permanently revoked.
01:21:44.14
Mike
Okay. Hmm.
01:21:53.45
Bill
um He's op he operated the bar at the 12th and National, so kind of hoodish area in Milwaukee, not the not the greatest area, not that that really matters.
01:21:59.58
Mike
Gotcha.
01:22:01.34
Bill
You could have chickens and coke anywhere for all I care.
01:22:01.54
Mike
Hmm.
01:22:04.13
Mike
Sure.
01:22:05.35
Bill
But um officers recovered cocaine, drug paraphernalia, a suspected drug sales ledger. Just get this ledger out for the fucking copsified. And nine millimeter cartridges. Chickens were also located in the basement of the tavern, said an officer reading from a police report. Up to four chickens can be kept.
01:22:27.93
Bill
on residential property in Milwaukee. Now this I knew and I'll tell you how in a minute, not the number, but I knew you could, um but a permit is required and the chickens must be in outdoor coops.
01:22:31.09
Mike
Okay.
01:22:37.35
Mike
They must not be on cocaine.
01:22:39.81
Bill
Yeah, and they must not be doing cocaine to the basement. um But the again, the radio show, the morning show that I listened to, the radio station is in an area off the freeway in Milwaukee, not too far from Miller Park, blah, blah, blah. And they said it for years that it's in a residential area where their the station is.
01:22:58.06
Bill
And um there's a property behind the station that has had chickens for fucking years, but they're in a coop outside and whatever.
01:23:03.34
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:23:05.68
Bill
so um So they've talked about it. So I mean, I knew yeah in the city of Milwaukee, you are you are allowed to have them.
01:23:11.60
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:23:12.42
Bill
um But so he did admit, this is the owner, he did admit to the news channel, he was raising a couple of chickens in the basement near the beer storage. He explained that he, or as he did to the committee, meet or at the committee meeting, he planned to eat them.
01:23:27.67
Mike
Ah.
01:23:27.87
Bill
And now, here's a couple of quotes, okay?
01:23:30.64
Mike
Hey.
01:23:32.67
Bill
The chickens were located in the basement of the tavern. Why were they there? This was a ah ah per alderman that had asked him this question.
01:23:39.89
Mike
Mmhmm.
01:23:40.24
Bill
These are the exact this is the exact quote from the bar owner for eat in my right in my house I live in the upstairs so that the follow-up question you kept them in the basement and then brought them up to kill them and he says in my house yeah
01:23:44.97
Mike
Mmhmm.
01:23:49.90
Mike
and so
01:23:57.05
Bill
but
01:23:57.33
Mike
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:24:01.42
Bill
So I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. again you know a Again, a headline that pops out, I'm just like, you know the chickens are one thing, fucking cocaine's one thing. He's got the drug, ledch he's got the fucking nine millimeter casings in his fucking Milwaukee, which I was like, it doesn't matter if this could be any any city in the country, I suppose, but um I just thought that was, yeah, cocaine's a chicken.
01:24:17.84
Mike
z
01:24:22.43
Bill
let me read that Let me read that headline again, hang on, because i that's the that's the one that it just, Wisconsin bars shut down after chickens and cocaine found inside.
01:24:33.37
Mike
Right.
01:24:33.51
Bill
They were downstairs and they were for eat. so
01:24:35.91
Mike
write For eat, right.
01:24:36.80
Bill
they they were
01:24:37.89
Mike
The, the less popular choice on the menu, cocaine and chickens as opposed to chicken and waffles.
01:24:46.02
Bill
What would you like to eat? ah Grab me a beer, I'd like some chicken and some cocaine, please.
01:24:49.38
Mike
Uh huh. Yes.
01:24:51.64
Bill
So he brings up a live fucking chicken. Oh, last thing, this is the beer thing. um So I'm watching the, I told you about all these different shows that that Taylor Sheridan does.
01:25:02.31
Mike
Right.
01:25:02.51
Bill
And the one the one called Landman with Billy Bob Thornton. I told you about that one, right? Okay, so they've got three episodes out already. And again, highly recommend it's a great, it's a great show. It's fun. It's a land man is somebody who works on ah like an oil rig thing, you know, so which I didn't know, I mean, some of these things, but it, it takes place and it's staged in like Midland, Texas, and it's ah this whole community and they show how to how they put it up and get it together. It's interesting.
01:25:28.93
Bill
um But there's this on they call it the patch, I guess is where this whole community thing is which again all these different industry terms I guess oil drilling stuff so there's this um restaurant cafe bar that I mean all these people go to because it's like the main place to go in this whole community the soil drilling community.
01:25:34.72
Mike
All right.
01:25:48.03
Bill
So Billy Bob Thornton is sitting there at the at the bar and he's uh he orders uh because yeah give me another one of those uh you know Michelob Ultras so the bartender gives him the beer and he's like he goes she he goes she'd need anything stronger and ah Billy Bob Thornton's character says he's like he's like nah he goes he goes I I quit drinking he goes I'll just have one one more of these
01:26:11.87
Bill
And the bartender says to him, he's like, you realize that as alcohol addict and he goes, he goes, please, this is a Michelob ultra.
01:26:18.98
Mike
Right.
01:26:19.69
Bill
And he says, he goes, he goes, yes, but it has alcohol. And he goes, he goes, I'll tell you what Billy Bob says. He goes, I'll drink six of these here today. I'll come back in tomorrow and drink six, six whiskeys.
01:26:31.10
Bill
He goes, you tell me if you see a difference.
01:26:35.50
Bill
And the guy, the bartender actually happened to be um a sober individual because that was kind of his thing, you know?
01:26:39.17
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:26:41.19
Bill
And then somebody else's person he had a meeting with ordered a club soda. So the bartender, this fucking smart ass bartender says, by the way, he goes, that is a non-alcoholic drink.
01:26:50.57
Mike
ah so
01:26:52.96
Bill
But I'm like fucking Michelob ultra.
01:26:55.41
Mike
Uh, yeah, they did.
01:26:55.55
Bill
Did you ever, did they even have Michelob ultra while we were still drinking? I can't remember. day i'm I'm sure I,
01:27:00.70
Mike
Yeah, I never, I never drank one, but they were great.
01:27:03.01
Bill
Yeah, I was going to say, I'm sure I never had one, but just fucking made me laugh. He's like, I could drink it. I'll just have one more of these. But I'm like, yeah, that's our mindset. He's like, this is just a fucking nickel of ultra. That ain't no big deal.
01:27:18.15
Mike
Right. This ain't no alcohol.
01:27:20.41
Bill
Right. Yeah. And it's whatever it is. I fucking, I don't know. I don't know if it is less alcohol or whatever the deal is, but, uh, I know the commercials, they have people running fucking marathons and then, you know, treating themselves to a fucking Michelob ultra.
01:27:29.15
Mike
Oh, right. God damn normies.
01:27:34.98
Bill
I know, I know, but, uh, all right. So that, I think that's all I have. And you know what? I think we're, I think we ran out of time to today to, we're done with fucking being grateful, right?
01:27:45.40
Bill
Is this it for the year?
01:27:45.51
Mike
i You know what? Yeah, this is it, man. I'm i'm going to be in grateful for the rest of the year.
01:27:49.96
Bill
i
01:27:53.04
Bill
I'm spent.
01:27:54.22
Mike
That's right. hey
01:27:55.62
Bill
All right, man, but seriously, though, um I think we've we've done enough work today. I was going to keep wanting to say tonight because it's not tonight yet.
01:28:00.02
Mike
We have.
01:28:02.09
Bill
It's so fucking light out.
01:28:02.23
Mike
yes um It's actually still light out here for about another 15 minutes.
01:28:03.09
Bill
It's three.
01:28:05.56
Bill
I know it's it's only yeah it's it's 430 430 real time. Jesus Christ that we're done. So all right.
01:28:12.62
Mike
Great.
01:28:13.38
Bill
Your your turn.
01:28:14.42
Mike
i well I gotta to go feed some cats now.
01:28:17.92
Bill
It's not a euphemism.
01:28:19.56
Mike
No it is, it is not. yeah
01:28:22.60
Bill
what you do with them cats over there.
01:28:24.29
Mike
That cat was the best fuck I ever had.
01:28:27.24
Bill
Yeah,
01:28:28.74
Mike
yeah yeah Go Google Steve Martin. It's one of the best jokes in the world.
01:28:33.14
Bill
yeah exactly. hey
01:28:35.26
Mike
All right. Well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of sober not mature. Guess what? We were grateful that you spent this time with us today.
01:28:46.63
Mike
And now, ah you know, as always, be nice to each other, be good to each other, go out and do something nice for somebody else this week, and don't tell anybody you did it, and then be grateful you got to do something nice for somebody else. And now, from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time till the ends of the earth, always and eternally,
01:29:10.16
Mike
Fuck you. And now it's that time, kids. It's time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here.
01:29:21.74
Mike
Climb over that date. Dream the impossible dream. And keep fucking off forever.
01:29:28.33
Bill
and we will be grateful that you did.
01:29:30.64
Mike
Oh, yes.
01:29:32.60
Bill
And yeah, that that Steve Martin clip, literally, if anyone listening to to this had no idea what that is, you need it's on YouTube.
01:29:38.84
Mike
Sure.
01:29:39.11
Bill
And the last time we had, we've talked about that at least two or three times on here. First time we ever talked about it, I looked it up again and fucking laughed, fucking laughed the same way as I did when that, when did that album come out?
01:29:51.12
Bill
That was, let's get small, right?
01:29:53.49
Mike
Yeah.
01:29:54.26
Bill
Yeah.
01:29:54.56
Mike
No, no, no, no. That one's on wild and crazy guy.
01:29:57.63
Bill
Oh yeah, okay.
01:29:57.67
Mike
I had, I had it on eight track.
01:30:00.11
Bill
I had i had the album.
01:30:00.32
Mike
Um, all right. Um, yes. Uh, let's see. Well, crazy guy came out. Okay. I want to say 78.
01:30:11.08
Bill
I was going to say late seventies. I know i I got it in Pittsburgh and I got ah the other one.
01:30:12.76
Mike
Yep.
01:30:16.30
Bill
Comedy is not pretty was the other one he had at that time.
01:30:17.67
Mike
Right.
01:30:18.82
Bill
But um mom bought those albums for me having no fucking idea what was on them.
01:30:21.72
Mike
distinction Right.
01:30:24.28
Bill
And I listened to him, you know, I when think I started listening to him when she wasn't home. And then the one time whenever he's talking about that all just all of a sudden he's like grandpa bought a rubber.
01:30:37.13
Bill
ah first I heard that I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like nine or 10 or whatever it is. I'm like, this is fucking great, man.
01:30:46.91
Bill
All right, so yes, you've got it. Yeah, anyone who just knows fucking Steve Martin from, you know, Father of the Bride and all those things, or even Planes, Trains and Automobiles, great character and whatever, but man, you got to listen to it.
01:30:55.38
Mike
Right?
01:30:57.49
Bill
Yeah, that old stuff. It's fucking awesome. So, all right, man. um i yeah I love you, brother.
01:31:03.30
Mike
I love you too.
01:31:04.43
Bill
And we'll talk soon.
01:31:05.90
Mike
We shall.
01:31:06.78
Bill
Alrighty, bye.
01:31:07.76
Mike
Bye.
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