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Dec. 14, 2024
SoberNotMature - Episode 147 (Living Larger Than You Could Ever Imagine)
This week it's your jovial friends, Mike and Bill. Back with some more fun and sober stuff.
Mike started out with his reading and it was about responsibility. Mike heard a lead this week that made him think of this topic and it was a good conversation.
Then we got down to business. We talked about The Fellowship, not wanting help from a higher power, do we set a good example, the quality of our sobriety, and being old.
We also brought some news stories to the table. A runaway husband and perfume that smells like a dive bar. Yes, you read that correctly.
Enjoy the episode.
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Store www.sobernotmatureshop.com
Transcript
00:00:01.63
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of sober not mature and happy Friday the 13th.
00:00:10.78
Mike
Yeah.
00:00:13.13
Bill
Yeah, I know for you guys that are listening, it could be Saturday, the 14th or Sunday, the 15th or blah, blah, blah, but we, cause it's all about us.
00:00:19.27
Mike
Right.
00:00:21.88
Mike
Right.
00:00:22.10
Bill
yeah We, we are.
00:00:22.72
Mike
We're living in it now, man.
00:00:24.50
Bill
Yeah, man. We are recording on Friday to the 13th. So quick question for you, Mike.
00:00:27.64
Mike
We are. Yes.
00:00:29.79
Bill
Any plans, I know you had a rough day, long week and that sort of thing. Any plans to throw on your hockey mask, go out, murderous rampage on co-eds tonight.
00:00:32.91
Mike
Yes.
00:00:38.38
Bill
I just don't know. You know, just figured it.
00:00:39.59
Mike
No, i I, you know, I left cookies out for Jason last night and that that was about the extent of my celebrating.
00:00:46.22
Bill
Yeah, I always loved that meme, make sure to leave milking cookies out for Jason.
00:00:50.57
Mike
Right.
00:00:50.60
Bill
And then you get like this, I saw one today and just, he's sitting there kind of looking at it, you know, I mean, of course the mask on, but you can tell he's just looking at it and go, what the fuck man, fucking cookies.
00:00:58.31
Mike
Right.
00:00:59.30
Bill
But so yeah, and you know, I ran across my head a little bit ago, but we could talk about it later, but superstition, you know, and I was just kind of, let's set that as a side note topic.
00:00:59.32
Mike
Uh-huh.
00:01:11.36
Bill
I'm going to make a note.
00:01:11.94
Mike
All right.
00:01:12.08
Bill
Cause I just, I'm just curious about that. su first
00:01:16.84
Mike
Stition.
00:01:17.13
Bill
still Superstitious.
00:01:21.12
Bill
I'm not superstitious, but I'm kind of stitious, hello.
00:01:24.17
Mike
yeah Just mildly stitches.
00:01:25.00
Bill
that's yeah
00:01:28.88
Bill
Just a little bit, just a little stitious. But yeah, so I know you had, ah sounds like you had a day, had a had a week, I had a little kind of a long one, but it I didn't have to work ah over today, so it sounds like you did, huh?
00:01:36.15
Mike
um sir
00:01:41.57
Mike
Yeah, a little bit. I mean, it wasn't, uh, Wednesday. I think it was not that anybody cares, but yeah, I didn't get home until like quarter to nine.
00:01:51.08
Bill
Nice.
00:01:51.70
Mike
Yeah. It was, that was a fun day. That was a nice, you know, 14 hour day at work. Plus, you know, the time before and after and blah, blah, blah, whatever.
00:02:01.43
Bill
Right.
00:02:02.05
Mike
Yep.
00:02:03.32
Bill
Yeah, and that's the that's the one thing where, you know, you know for years, I mean, i especially when I was in, when I first moved back to to Wisconsin, and then we had that office down in Bloitte when I lived in Jefferson.
00:02:14.74
Bill
And when they took away the budget, basically, for hotel stays, and I was doing a lot of training down there.
00:02:19.55
Mike
ah Right.
00:02:21.77
Bill
So, you know, sometimes five days a week, you know, it was an hour. you know, hour down, hour back, and I had to be there, you know, I had like, not had to, but in order for me to get prepared, you know, I'm getting there at seven in the morning.
00:02:33.29
Mike
Right.
00:02:33.50
Bill
I'm busy from eight to five and do some stuff after. I'm not getting home until I'm leaving at like, you know, literally like six in the morning and getting home at like, you know, six thirty at night. So, um yeah, I that's a beauty to this.
00:02:46.26
Bill
Now, I just punch a fucking clock. That's all I do.
00:02:48.26
Mike
Right.
00:02:49.25
Bill
And I love it. Did I tell you, um God, about a month or so ago, um I don't know, whatever my, because my boss has been in, actually recently it's, there's there's talk of me and two other people ultimately, hopefully in the next couple of months of being moved up to the next level.
00:03:01.80
Mike
Hmm.
00:03:04.27
Bill
And that's where you can start making real money and stuff.
00:03:06.34
Mike
Right.
00:03:06.37
Bill
So, um didn't have that happening yet, but he's kind of working and preparing with us. But like a month or so ago, whenever it was, he's talking about some things. He's like, oh, work on this and do this. And you're with your background or whatever.
00:03:17.25
Bill
And I could easily see you being a mentor or possibly this and, you know, in some sort of management thing where you can, um
00:03:21.24
Mike
Ah. Uh huh.
00:03:23.66
Bill
In my head, I'm like, fuck no, fuck no, not even, fuck no, fuck no, not not not a fucking chance.
00:03:30.24
Mike
Right.
00:03:30.32
Bill
But um that was asked in my interview, because he was my manager, and then one other guy that is over with the other department interviewed me.
00:03:35.00
Mike
Hmm.
00:03:39.20
Bill
And that question was asked, you know, if you have an opportunity for growth, you know, to be in a position, like a leadership position, you know, would you consider it?
00:03:42.17
Mike
Right.
00:03:45.53
Bill
And I said, my my answer was simple. I said, I'll tell you what, I said, I've done a lot over the years, I'm looking forward to, you know, getting back on a desk. by um I'm open to look at any ah any opportunity.
00:03:54.31
Mike
Sure. Right. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. I've had similar conversations too, right? Cause you know, um, uh, we've got a couple of trainers, I think two or three in our fleet, but, uh, they're aging out there.
00:04:09.03
Mike
You know, a couple of them are getting ready to retire.
00:04:09.44
Bill
Right.
00:04:11.15
Mike
So yeah, it's been brought up to me. Would you be interested? And I said, yeah, you know, I'd be interested maybe. I mean, it's more money and stuff and whatever when, when you do it.
00:04:19.48
Bill
right
00:04:21.20
Mike
So yeah, you know, we'll see.
00:04:24.09
Bill
Well, and you know, and that's the thing I think you and I, and I asked you that question probably a handful of years ago, I think when you, cause you've been here for what six years, seven at this company.
00:04:32.79
Mike
That's yes. shit Yeah. It's going to be, um, shit about a month. Yeah. I'll be starting my eighth year with JB.
00:04:40.38
Bill
Nice.
00:04:41.09
Mike
Yeah.
00:04:41.12
Bill
And I think it, whatever it was, maybe it was, it was a handful of years ago because I think ah you were talking about the dispatch thing, blah, blah, blah. And I asked you about that. Would you ever consider it? And I think at that time you're like, yeah, you wouldn't like that sort of thing.
00:04:51.47
Bill
But who knows? I mean, from a training standpoint, I mean, the, I mean, shit, you've done this, you've done this thing for a long time.
00:04:56.97
Mike
Right.
00:04:57.60
Bill
Um, you know, and like you said, more money. You don't have to literally drive, right? You'd be just drive right along with people.
00:05:01.91
Mike
Yeah, you know, yeah, right. Yeah. You ride along and it's the new ones. I mean, it's not like, you know, you're doing it all the time. It's, you know, when they hire somebody on and whatever.
00:05:08.17
Bill
Right.
00:05:10.54
Mike
Yeah. Got with them for a few days and yeah. Show them the ropes.
00:05:14.15
Bill
Oh, okay. That's cool.
00:05:16.55
Mike
Yeah.
00:05:16.59
Bill
Yeah, just with, I know, and especially with this, this company's a lot bigger. I told my boss ah a week or so ago when I was on a meeting with him and I was in our things and he goes, oh, he goes busy.
00:05:27.03
Bill
And I'm like, ah I know. I said, we've got, is is and we do the the group of people that are within our team.
00:05:33.08
Mike
Hmm.
00:05:33.12
Bill
um therere I don't know what goes on in the background. I don't think there's a lot of fuck offs, you know, cause I don't see a lot of people dropping off.
00:05:37.86
Mike
Right.
00:05:39.87
Bill
We're we're hiring and I don't see a lot of people dropping off, which is a good thing.
00:05:40.56
Mike
Hmm.
00:05:43.38
Mike
Right.
00:05:43.49
Bill
um But I told him I said, you know, I said this this seems like a good group of people I said I had a hat. Well, I had less than half of of that 10 people at one time, but they were all problems and I'm like, yeah, it's fucking terrible, you know, but I mean he's got like 35 people, you know, and I'm like
00:05:56.27
Mike
Right. Sure.
00:06:02.09
Bill
i want I don't want them their headaches anymore. I just fuckin' don't, man.
00:06:04.91
Mike
No, right.
00:06:05.54
Bill
I just don't. And you know seriously, what if I get, um and I think I will, it could take time, but so whenever I get moved up like that, it is, it's more responsibilities, bigger balances, more focus on you and all that stuff, but all I gotta do is get kind of in the swing of things.
00:06:19.32
Bill
I mean, yeah, I get nit-picked on where I'm at now.
00:06:19.87
Mike
Sure.
00:06:22.07
Bill
you know um And I'm fine with it, but I think it's it's basically at a level, it's ah it's a little bit more of a,
00:06:22.41
Mike
Right.
00:06:29.39
Bill
professional level, you know, and it's your work with bigger things.
00:06:30.69
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:06:32.92
Bill
So they trust you and, you know, once you get skilled in there, people really do, they kind of fucking leave you alone and you can make a lot of money, you know?
00:06:34.36
Mike
Sure.
00:06:37.89
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:06:39.62
Bill
And I'm like, that's what I want. Cause I could still, I'll still be punching the same goddamn clock, you know, fucking 8 AM, 5 PM, 8 AM, 5 PM, you know, fucking wolf down before my half hour lunch on Monday through Thursday and you know, get a long lunch on Friday.
00:06:41.64
Mike
Right.
00:06:44.85
Mike
Right.
00:06:47.63
Mike
Yep.
00:06:55.01
Bill
What the fuck do I care? You know?
00:06:56.40
Mike
Right.
00:06:57.22
Bill
So.
00:06:57.95
Mike
yeah
00:06:59.08
Bill
All right. Well, um, yeah, thank you for joining us for, this is where we work. This, this is like career day. We just had career day.
00:07:05.46
Mike
Right, yeah, this is the crap we do when we're not doing this.
00:07:09.37
Bill
Yeah. You know what? We're in the funny part is that this, this is, this is kind of what, you know, all these little things, you know, is that that we deal with, you know, I mean, yeah, we could say, Hey, I'm dealing with this sober. yeah so There's fucking normal people doing the same shit, but yeah, we're just, we're just, ever we're just everyday guys, you know?
00:07:22.06
Mike
Right. Yeah, and now, finally.
00:07:26.88
Bill
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Oh, I get a, um remind me, I'll write it down. Mark Maron, I get a couple of things that want I want to talk about Mark, but he's having to listen into more of his more of stuff lately, but anyhow.
00:07:38.59
Mike
Cool.
00:07:39.35
Bill
All right, so I think it's seven, almost eight minutes into our podcast.
00:07:41.03
Mike
who Right.
00:07:43.45
Bill
I think it's time for a reading.
00:07:46.01
Mike
Yeah. Listeners are out there going with the fuck man.
00:07:48.93
Bill
Right, man, I'm sittin' down, waitin' for my reading, got my, I don't know, what do you, what do you, you got a cup of coffee and a donut right now sittin' there? Here it comes.
00:07:56.25
Mike
It is a reading.
00:07:56.68
Bill
It's ah it's a reading, it's comin', everyone.
00:07:59.10
Mike
It is a reading. Well, so, uh, nothing jumped out at me this week and actually, um, The lead at my home group this past Sunday, um yeah, brought up some points.
00:08:13.12
Mike
She was kind of one of those bad examples.
00:08:16.67
Bill
ha ha
00:08:16.70
Mike
So, which which we'll get into, but anyway, responsibility, which of course is one of my favorite themes of this program.
00:08:19.06
Bill
oh
00:08:28.01
Bill
Oh.
00:08:28.14
Mike
um And so i it's funny, I looked in, God grant me, And I think, uh, responsibility, there's like four readings or something. and I think we've done them all.
00:08:39.49
Bill
Well, probably, like as you said, if it was you know like one of your favorite things, yeah.
00:08:41.59
Mike
Right. Exactly. So I went to keep it simple and there's one reading under responsibility and keep it simple. And here it is. Um, January 16th. Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us. Some guy named Eric Hoffer, I guess he was a kind of modern American philosopher, according to Google.
00:09:08.88
Mike
All right, um it's tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol and other drugs is a start. Each of the 12 steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. The program shows us how to do this. Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live, period.
00:09:38.95
Mike
Our self confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything.
00:09:55.82
Mike
Prayer for the day. I pray to remember that I'm responsible for my actions. Blaming puts distance between me and other people. Higher power helped me to play fair. Action for the day. Today I'll list four times I've blamed someone else for a problem that was really my problem.
00:10:20.20
Bill
oh let me count the ways okay wait well let me let me let me start over let me count the ways that i wanted to do that uh daily i always will i don't ever want to be fucking wrong you know i don't want to i don't want to answer for my own actions i want to blame others i don't want to be responsible um any of that stuff but um but anyhow i mean let the to the real question though i mean is there a time
00:10:22.13
Mike
Right.
00:10:28.15
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Right. Right.
00:10:46.38
Bill
sober times. I mean, did you blame somebody for things that you did?
00:10:51.06
Mike
No, not sober.
00:10:52.15
Bill
Yeah, I know it's.
00:10:53.41
Mike
Right.
00:10:53.72
Bill
Yeah, and that's that's the thing. I mean, God, I think if I could if I could answer that with Oh, yeah, you know, four years ago, ah by the way, Mike, that thing.
00:10:59.70
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yeah. Right. Exactly. No, it's sobriety. No. Right. I mean, again, we've talked about plenty of times.
00:11:11.07
Mike
It's one of the gifts, man. Everything is my fault and therefore I have power.
00:11:16.51
Bill
Right.
00:11:17.10
Mike
And I believe I read somewhere lack of power was our dilemma.
00:11:21.32
Bill
Right.
00:11:21.60
Mike
Yes, well, I don't have that lack of power today because I take responsibility. It's all my fucking fault. Good and bad. And there's there is power and that there's control in that. um And I like that. That's a wonderful thing.
00:11:37.67
Mike
Um, right.
00:11:37.75
Bill
Right.
00:11:38.98
Mike
Yeah. So, um, the reason I wanted to bring it up, right. So this, uh, this chick, uh, I dunno, she was, she was, um, late twenties, I guess.
00:11:53.10
Mike
And she had about a year or so sober. Um, And just all through her lead, um she's, um'm I'm sitting back as I sit towards the back of, you know, Bill, but yes, I sit towards the back of the room.
00:12:05.82
Bill
Right.
00:12:06.93
Mike
Cause I, I sit at the raffle table and I am the co-treasurer of my home group. So that's my little service area and. And so i'm so I'm sitting back there and I'm listening to her lead and it's a lot of drunk along shit and blah, blah, blah, you know, but um lots of stuff, man.
00:12:25.78
Mike
She's like not taking responsibility for all of these bad things in her life. And I'm going, okay, okay, okay, blah, blah, blah. You know, maybe she'll, you know, towards the end when she
00:12:37.73
Bill
bring it or bring it around.
00:12:39.14
Mike
Yeah, right. She didn't. Um, yeah, um she brought it it around to, um, you know, sometimes surprise i I hate to say it, but, uh, but I'm gonna say it anyway. So apparently she didn't hate to say it. She probably liked it. Fucking say it. Um, yeah, sometimes this sobriety thing sucks. It really sucks being sober sometime. You know, of course my eyes spun to the back of my skull.
00:13:03.09
Bill
her
00:13:04.63
Mike
And, uh, yeah, you know, uh, and, and yeah, I was just, I, you know, I wanted to stand up and scream. It's because you're not fucking taking responsibility for any of yourself.
00:13:15.17
Mike
So yeah, of course your sobriety sucks.
00:13:16.41
Bill
Right.
00:13:18.54
Mike
Um, sorry. Um, I didn't, um, I was a good boy and you know, whatever other people commented and our secretary who, um, real good dude.
00:13:30.15
Mike
Um, you've met Andrew, right?
00:13:30.91
Bill
Oh, yeah, yep.
00:13:32.77
Mike
Right, yeah. Good dude. um ah he's been He's around six years, I think. you know he's And um just working a really good program comes from the same place that we came from. He lived at Don Fox's house for a long time in early sobriety and whatever. So he's got his shit, and he did. he He, without beating her up and and whatever,
00:13:55.25
Mike
did make a comment about personal responsibility and I was just, oh, thank you.
00:14:01.30
Bill
Right.
00:14:01.44
Mike
Oh, but yeah, you know, it was, it was, yeah, she was struggling and not, you know, not enjoying her sobriety, not reaping the fruits of this thing because she didn't take fucking responsibility for her own anything.
00:14:19.36
Bill
Right.
00:14:19.39
Mike
And I was just like, wow, man, that sucks. Sorry for you. Hope somebody fucking gets you on the right track.
00:14:23.43
Bill
Yeah.
00:14:25.74
Mike
Because I mean, you know, I mean, four step, right? I mean, a big part of the four step is looking your part.
00:14:29.01
Bill
Right.
00:14:32.01
Mike
What is my part in this thing? Responsibility. What is my responsibility? What is my part? And, you know, the way we were taught was, When we did that four step, and and of course it carries on to doing a daily 10th step is what is my part in it?
00:14:47.38
Mike
What is my responsibility?
00:14:47.75
Bill
Right.
00:14:48.58
Mike
and and And thankfully we were taught it's all your fucking responsibility. It's nobody else's fucking fault. you know Somebody knocks you over the fucking head with a baseball bat.
00:15:01.12
Mike
Find your part in it. What were you doing? Were you someplace you shouldn't have been? yeah Were you not paying attention when the guy came up with a baseball bat?
00:15:06.52
Bill
right
00:15:09.76
Mike
I mean, yes, you have a part and I have a part in everything that happens to me.
00:15:16.42
Bill
You know, I'm glad you brought up the, the four step because I was say literally, I was thinking about that. I'm like, like, okay, year plus Cleveland, you know, depending on, um, and if for anyone, for anyone out there in in Cleveland, it's a, I'll call it a general rule, 90% of the people, I mean, if they've got a decent sponsor.
00:15:24.78
Mike
Right.
00:15:32.00
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:15:35.11
Bill
And that sponsor is not going to let them get up behind a podium or in front of an audience like that to to lead a meeting, whatever you guys want to call it, lead, share, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:38.15
Mike
Right.
00:15:44.67
Mike
Right.
00:15:44.81
Bill
um A meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous until they've done their fourth and their fifth step.
00:15:49.28
Mike
Right.
00:15:49.54
Bill
And that's exactly what I was thinking about. I'm like, that's that's the fucking point, you know?
00:15:53.59
Mike
Yeah.
00:15:54.10
Bill
And, you know, maybe sobriety was really tough until that point. And when what he said the sucks part, I'm like, man, even in the hardest time, it didn't suck.
00:15:58.50
Mike
Hmm. Hmm.
00:16:03.00
Bill
It was just fucking difficult. You know, it's difficult because we were going, you know, a thousand or a hundred miles an hour in this direction.
00:16:04.73
Mike
Sure.
00:16:10.60
Bill
And somebody's like, nope, you got to go that way.
00:16:13.00
Mike
Right.
00:16:13.12
Bill
And you got to slow the fuck down, you know?
00:16:14.96
Mike
Uh huh.
00:16:15.48
Bill
And I'm like, no, no, no, I was going this way and I'm going really fast, but you got to, you got to go the opposite direction, but slow the fuck down, you know?
00:16:18.29
Mike
Right.
00:16:21.41
Mike
Uh huh.
00:16:22.55
Bill
and then you're in a whole different car it will hold different clothes you got your name still but that's fucking it go slow and go that way i don't want to you know but um but sucks man i mean ah my life i would even say my life sucked i've had what i think are sucky moments because i won't even say sucky you know life circle for days even you know
00:16:24.58
Mike
Yup.
00:16:35.45
Mike
Hmm.
00:16:44.82
Mike
Right.
00:16:45.95
Bill
everyone' has so Everyone's had some suck in their life, whether you're sober or not.
00:16:48.82
Mike
Of course.
00:16:50.07
Bill
But man, my sobriety doesn't suck. My sobriety is what saves me in those and they'll suck moments.
00:16:53.63
Mike
Yeah.
00:16:56.09
Mike
Exactly.
00:16:57.16
Bill
So it's sobriety is the anti-suck.
00:16:59.85
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:17:03.07
Bill
But yeah, yeah the you know so that that part of it, and then the other thing literally that I thought about, I'm glad you brought it up, is that um yeah, we were taught that find your part in fucking everything.
00:17:15.04
Mike
everything.
00:17:15.91
Bill
find your party department good, find it in the supposed bad, find it in the murky waters, um everywhere.
00:17:19.84
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep.
00:17:22.20
Bill
Like, yeah, we you and I had literally had a conversation about that. I think the example was, yeah, some guy walks down the street and punches you in the nuts, you know?
00:17:29.42
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:17:32.10
Bill
And I think I used you an example, why wouldn't I?
00:17:34.26
Mike
Sure.
00:17:34.90
Bill
um You know, what was your part? You're like, well, maybe I was looking at my phone and I wasn't paying attention to the fact that his fist was out, you know?
00:17:39.02
Mike
Uh huh. All right.
00:17:42.71
Bill
um I could have moved or whatever the case is.
00:17:44.51
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:17:47.14
Bill
you think about that you're like that's kind of fucked up man this motherfucker punched me in the balls that is partly my fault damn it
00:17:47.32
Mike
Right.
00:17:52.99
Mike
Yep, absolutely. Yeah, but again, there's power and there's freedom in that your balls still hurt, but but it's all right.
00:17:55.58
Bill
ah
00:17:58.14
Bill
oh yeah
00:18:04.57
Bill
right And the in the thing of it is too, it it's so wonderful and maybe as weird as this may sound, but it's so wonderful to be able to at least be able to pinpoint in everything that happens in your life, at least to pinpoint one thing.
00:18:10.25
Mike
Hmm.
00:18:15.56
Mike
Mm hmm. Yup.
00:18:17.97
Bill
one There's one constant, I was there and I was part of, good, bad, or fucking indifferent.
00:18:20.30
Mike
Yup. Yup. Mm hmm.
00:18:23.50
Bill
um I was part of it, you know so I know that, and then then i can I can look back from there.
00:18:24.82
Mike
Yup.
00:18:27.80
Bill
Now, you know, from the good part, it doesn't mean like, oh, this thing could happen to me. It's because of me.
00:18:33.26
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:18:33.60
Bill
No, I had a part to it. You know, I'm granted, I, you know, both of us yeah were coming up on, you know, we're sliding around the corner. January's always my, my kind of like, look, I don't know, at the top of the mountain looking down at our, at our coming up sobriety day type of thing.
00:18:47.70
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:18:48.45
Bill
um But you know, so our 15th year is coming up, you know, um not fronting or anything.
00:18:51.83
Mike
Right.
00:18:53.51
Bill
It's just a fucking fact. um But the whole point is, is that yes, I mean, we've, we've stayed sober for this amount of time, you know, 14 years and eight months or nine months or whatever the fuck it's been or coming up on.
00:18:57.53
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:19:03.81
Mike
Right.
00:19:04.53
Bill
um But you know we've we've done the work, yes, you know but we've had a lot of help.
00:19:08.03
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:19:09.80
Bill
you know We do this on our own.
00:19:10.14
Mike
Yeah.
00:19:11.26
Bill
We didn't develop that 164 pages of that book that we use.
00:19:15.06
Mike
No, we did not.
00:19:16.01
Bill
We didn't develop these these places that we go to hear these either fucked up leads or or leads that you know that give us insight.
00:19:20.52
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:19:23.18
Bill
you know we didn't We didn't make up Founders Day and we didn't make up any of this shit. you know
00:19:27.74
Mike
No.
00:19:28.91
Bill
so um yeah we had a part in this shit you know i mean yeah yeah we got to do the work that's it we got to do the work and it's really not that fucking hard but um yeah um but it's kind of funny i'm glad you i'm glad you brought up that lead because it is it i think i would have just been cringing the entire time during a lead like that being in my head being like you don't see it god you don't see it
00:19:35.54
Mike
Right. Right. Mm hmm.
00:19:50.58
Mike
Right. yeah I know. right know I know.
00:19:55.97
Mike
Right. And, you know, again, good younger, female, blah, blah, blah, not my fucking responsibility.
00:20:02.87
Bill
Right.
00:20:03.02
Mike
um But yeah. Oh, just want to shaker, you know, give her. yeah I want to smack her in the fucking face and go, hey,
00:20:13.53
Bill
give Right, yeah give her a give her a good talking to.
00:20:13.76
Mike
but that's that's what I wanted to do. And that's clearly why I didn't do it. it Uh-huh.
00:20:22.64
Bill
But I mean, yeah, that's everything that the reading was about because I wrote down little again my little points of first thing not blaming others answer for our own our actions responsible for, um you know, for our actions.
00:20:29.16
Mike
Right.
00:20:35.17
Bill
um Yeah, I did like the part and I never thought about that, but and I don't remember what the all the context was about it, but it talked about self-confidence. I think it was you know being responsible or taking responsibility and doing all these different things gives us self-confidence, which is what you were talking about.
00:20:47.86
Mike
right
00:20:50.52
Bill
because you know i mean Literally, that if we know that you know we have Part in, fault in, fucking everything and everything's our responsibility.
00:20:58.90
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:21:01.06
Bill
Man, I mean, it's it's great. what ah What a great opportunity. i And I think that in and of itself is a competence builder, right?
00:21:06.90
Mike
Oh, absolutely. Right.
00:21:08.19
Bill
Yeah.
00:21:08.46
Mike
Again, you know, lack of power was our dilemma, man. We'll just, in a real fucked up way, it gives us power. It's great.
00:21:16.21
Bill
Right.
00:21:16.23
Mike
I am responsible. Yes, I am responsible. I want the hand of AA to be there. For that, I am responsible. oh Yes, that too. Again, yeah.
00:21:26.25
Bill
Right.
00:21:26.93
Mike
And that, again, gives you value. It gives you worth. And yes, responsibility, confidence, Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. It is. And I felt so fucking bad for this girl, you know, and it's, it's, it's a damn shame.
00:21:41.67
Mike
Hopefully she'll at some point figure it out.
00:21:41.81
Bill
right Right.
00:21:46.48
Mike
But again, that one is not my responsibility.
00:21:46.71
Bill
Yeah.
00:21:49.57
Mike
Younger female is not my responsibility. That is for the women in this program.
00:21:54.82
Bill
Right? Yeah. But I mean, yeah, and and it is. it's ah It's one of the things, you know, there's there's those, you know, a few different emotions here going, Jesus Christ, you know, and like you said, wanting to shake her and give her a good talking to her, a smack across the face, kind of like, you know, wake up type of thing.
00:22:04.33
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.
00:22:08.94
Bill
but
00:22:09.15
Mike
Oh yeah.
00:22:09.73
Bill
um But then on the other end of it, yeah, I mean, literally feeling bad. Cause like you, you don't even know, um, and not that you don't end to have to end up with this great magical life, you know, filled with whatever, um, you know, it just, all you have to be is, you know, happy and content and, and satisfied with your life.
00:22:18.03
Mike
Hmm. No.
00:22:26.72
Mike
Yeah.
00:22:29.58
Bill
And she's robbing herself of that, you know, and it's a, it's a shame.
00:22:30.15
Mike
Yeah. yeah
00:22:34.54
Bill
It really is.
00:22:34.70
Mike
It is, it is. Right, I mean, I i know um if, right, if this, it I was working this program to the best of my ability and all I got was fucking dry and and and and yeah, and feeling miserable, fuck that.
00:22:52.56
Bill
Right.
00:22:52.68
Mike
I know, because I've done it and it was awful and I don't ever want to do it again. So um yeah, and part of it is taking that responsibility and going, yep, it's all my fault, hi.
00:23:04.06
Bill
Right. Well yeah and you know there's there's memes out there and people joke about it and this and that it's like oh you know we all us, us sober people wouldn't wouldn't continue doing this if it if it wasn't better than what we had if we weren't at least enjoying ourselves and you know enjoying our lives.
00:23:19.40
Mike
Right.
00:23:19.47
Bill
Yeah, to to to that point I mean, you know, all of us, I don't want to say all of us but a good goddamn majority of us that are you know alcoholics and addicts and all that sort of thing. I mean, we're all about, like you always say, about feeling good and the pleasure and all those sort of things.
00:23:31.57
Mike
Right. Right.
00:23:33.45
Bill
And I mean, none of us, I don't even think it would be a conscious choice, but I don't think that our brains would allow us to continue to do something that made us feel like shit all the time.
00:23:42.89
Mike
Right.
00:23:43.48
Bill
I mean, why wouldn't you want to go back to at least something that made you feel better?
00:23:47.76
Mike
Right.
00:23:48.31
Bill
Like, right?
00:23:48.38
Mike
At least get that 20 minutes a day, right? Or whatever. Yeah. You know, I'm going to feel like shit most of the day. At least I'll feel really fucking good for about a half an hour.
00:23:57.99
Bill
Well, yeah, I mean, if every time I, you know, in the morning, if if every time I opened up my phone to do my readings, you know, literally somebody punched me in the nuts. And then every time I walked into an AA meeting, you know, I got punched in the face and kicked in the balls, I probably would stop doing my readings.
00:24:10.67
Mike
Hmm.
00:24:13.02
Bill
yeah I would stop going to AA meetings.
00:24:13.18
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:24:15.50
Bill
yeah I'm like, am I going to go do that? This is all fucking fun.
00:24:18.25
Mike
Right.
00:24:18.26
Bill
And it does nothing for me, you know, but no, I mean, it's literally, it's just, yeah, I can't, I can't even imagine. um I mean, and I didn't even, I didn't even realize that I wasn't living my best life for the first nine months.
00:24:32.33
Bill
And it still wasn't that fucking bad.
00:24:32.48
Mike
Right.
00:24:34.03
Bill
It was still better than what my fucking lowly life was.
00:24:34.65
Mike
right if
00:24:37.76
Bill
And I truly wasn't getting the the entire benefit. I probably was getting 25% of the benefit that I could have during that first 30%, let's say, you know, of the during that first nine months.
00:24:41.43
Mike
right
00:24:44.57
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:24:48.99
Bill
And it was still fucking miles ahead of what I left.
00:24:51.67
Mike
Yeah, exactly.
00:24:52.21
Bill
yeah I was still like, this is fucking great. But yeah, dude, and you're you're fucking miserable.
00:24:55.13
Mike
Yeah.
00:24:56.90
Bill
You don't even realize it. But yeah, I'm better miserable though.
00:24:59.92
Mike
Right, exactly. At least I'm not throwing up on my shoes.
00:25:04.95
Bill
Yeah, I'm a, I'm a better version of miserable. you You don't know what I had. You don't know what I had before, but man, this is a fucking dream.
00:25:12.63
Mike
Yeah.
00:25:15.05
Bill
But, um, yeah, that's kind of funny. So, and I, I guess I didn't realize that. So God grant me only has, and I say only, but only four readings that mentioned responsibility and keep it simple only as one.
00:25:25.36
Bill
That's kind of, uh, I don't know. It just doesn't seem like a lot, you know, seems like it would be more.
00:25:29.39
Mike
Right. Yeah, exactly. i yeah Well, I mean, most of the, ah you know, when you go into the glossary or whatever in the back of the book and and look up the subjects, I mean, most of them don't have any more than you know, three or four or five, you know, different readings.
00:25:46.69
Mike
I mean, clearly responsibility is brought up in other ones. That's just the ones that, yeah, you know, right sobriety, you know, is pretty much an all of them.
00:25:50.13
Bill
Right.
00:25:55.86
Mike
And let me say, let's take a look here.
00:25:57.10
Bill
Right.
00:26:00.62
Mike
So priority just for shits and giggles.
00:26:04.32
Bill
That's like when I looked up the the word God in twenty the 24 hour book versus God grant me and the difference, you know, it's like, I don't know how many times in 24 hour book it was, it was a hell of a lot more that the word God was in there versus God grant me, but okay.
00:26:10.10
Mike
Right.
00:26:19.41
Mike
Oh, yeah, okay, so yeah, sobriety, one.
00:26:24.92
Mike
Yeah, right, services, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and that's a big one. Yeah, right, so self-centeredness, one.
00:26:40.13
Mike
one. one.
00:26:43.07
Bill
Wow.
00:26:44.00
Mike
one. one. one. Ooh, self-love, two.
00:26:49.48
Bill
Ooh, I self-love myself in both ways.
00:26:52.42
Mike
Right. But yeah, so I mean, yeah, the, you know, the listings in the back are clearly not indicative of every time that a subject is brought up.
00:26:56.34
Bill
right
00:27:00.31
Mike
Ooh, sex. One.
00:27:04.15
Bill
but Wait, what page is that?
00:27:04.47
Mike
Uh, that would be, uh, January 23rd.
00:27:05.27
Bill
ah Let me write that down.
00:27:08.98
Mike
If you kids are, you have your keep it simple book at hand.
00:27:12.83
Bill
yeah If you're playing along with your reader at home, well, that's coming up. We'll get to it. and Then I'm, I'm sure when I, whenever I get to that reading, it'll it somewhere in the back of my head, it'll be like, Oh, where did, like, what, why did I, why did that?
00:27:19.70
Mike
Yeah.
00:27:24.89
Mike
ah
00:27:26.82
Bill
I don't even know what I just read. like I, I said something that some thought just popped into my head. I'll have like a deja vu moment or something like that on January, whatever.
00:27:32.68
Mike
Right. Yeah. So about yeah. 23rd five, six weeks from now, something to look forward to.
00:27:36.12
Bill
Okay. Right. Yeah, exactly.
00:27:39.67
Mike
I guess we'll have to stay sober until then to get to the sex reading.
00:27:43.65
Bill
right Yeah, because I'm sure that if I start drinking before then, I'm not gonna be like, note to self, January 23rd, I at least gotta do my reading on January 23rd.
00:27:49.30
Mike
Right. Well, if we start drinking, we'll just go straight for it. We're not going to wait because we've taken our will back.
00:27:54.47
Bill
yeah yeah Yeah, exactly. they Just jump ahead. But no, I mean, that was that was a good reading. And i'm like I said, I'm glad I'm glad you brought that up.
00:28:04.82
Bill
And, you know, literally, I mean, I hope that I do. I hope that she she finds her, you know, any happiness. I hope she finds her way because, man, you know, I just I again, I can't imagine, you know, this ah we we work way too fucking hard.
00:28:12.62
Mike
Yeah.
00:28:17.38
Mike
yeah
00:28:19.30
Bill
I mean, granted, the work gets easier as you go along. Don't get me wrong on that.
00:28:22.24
Mike
Sure.
00:28:23.10
Bill
But um we.
00:28:23.51
Mike
Again, well, yeah, you work any muscle, it gets stronger and it gets easier to work, but yes, right.
00:28:25.86
Bill
Right.
00:28:29.37
Mike
You got to work it.
00:28:30.50
Bill
Yeah, too much, uh, too much change and too much effort and, um, you know, quote unquote sacrifice, you know, to begin with, um, to, to not be happy doing this thing, you know, and again like I said, it just, she's robbing herself of, of that happiness.
00:28:40.13
Mike
Exactly. Yep.
00:28:45.24
Bill
But, um, so what else, anything else in the reading, anything else that kind of jumped out or popped out or.
00:28:46.22
Mike
yep
00:28:51.06
Mike
No, that was it. I just, you know, like that, that stuck in my craw and I wanted to make sure I, I knew I was going to bring it up at some point and I was all, well, shit, I'll just find a responsibility reading and then we'll just do it and it'll be done.
00:29:02.79
Bill
right now if that's good see every once in a while you know we actually put uh and i'll say we collectively you know did we we put some thought into this thing oh before i forget i meant to bring this up right away so your your your clip that i did the regrets of bad choices um first of all i was highly disappointed with my with my production um last week it was it was really low that's why i asked you like can you hear that i thought maybe you'd show up
00:29:11.67
Mike
Sure. Yeah.
00:29:24.03
Mike
Ah, uh-huh. Oh, I mean, I heard it, yeah.
00:29:30.05
Bill
Yeah, but um so two things. I figured out now that there's a volume button. Okay, so hang on, ready?
00:29:34.56
Mike
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, that's much better.
00:29:40.41
Bill
Okay, so yeah, it like sounds like you're in the room with yourself, right?
00:29:44.33
Mike
Right, hmm.
00:29:45.72
Bill
Now, it's a scary thought.
00:29:47.87
Mike
Hi there, hi V.
00:29:49.65
Bill
yeah But here's here's the other thing. If you listen closely, everyone quiet for a minute, listen closely.
00:30:00.01
Bill
Did you notice that I am nowhere on the recording?
00:30:02.77
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well a little bit, there's a, there's a, there's a pop right at the beginning.
00:30:03.52
Bill
Yeah. No.
00:30:07.93
Bill
Nope, that's you. That's you laughing.
00:30:09.66
Mike
Oh, play it again.
00:30:10.64
Bill
Because it's it's only...
00:30:11.35
Mike
Play it again.
00:30:12.73
Bill
i whateverever How much money do you got in the bank? Because you're going to lose.
00:30:16.52
Mike
Not enough.
00:30:21.57
Mike
All right.
00:30:22.62
Bill
So the reason I'm going to say you're going to lose is because this software has the same capabilities as Riverside did where each track is recorded separately.
00:30:29.37
Mike
Right.
00:30:31.25
Bill
Okay.
00:30:31.79
Mike
right
00:30:32.39
Bill
So I had the, again, I finally used my brain this week and I'm like, you know what? Cause I couldn't remember. I said I was having trouble cutting it down, getting my voice out of it.
00:30:40.76
Mike
Right.
00:30:41.12
Bill
um I just took your track. So that's that's only your recording.
00:30:43.01
Mike
Ah.
00:30:45.00
Bill
That's why I said, I am not on there, guaranteed.
00:30:47.06
Mike
Okay.
00:30:47.24
Bill
one I can never, ever say 100% never.
00:30:48.11
Mike
da Right.
00:30:51.09
Bill
I am not on that under any circumstance, because it's only you.
00:30:54.90
Mike
ah Okay.
00:30:55.11
Bill
But here's the fucking funny part. OK, so um it's happened every once in a while with Riverside. ever as We were putting them together. The long story short there is that every once in a while when I first put them together, both tracks would play and you hear somebody's missing, right?
00:31:09.69
Mike
Right.
00:31:10.08
Bill
So as I'm, as I'm doing this, cause I found out roughly where it was and then I just downloaded your track and I'm popping through. So it's so fucking funny because, um, I'm sitting there, you know, trying to find the piece and all of a sudden you're like, right.
00:31:25.21
Bill
h And then you would laugh just like that. and There's nothing there. You're just talking to yourself. It's so fucking funny.
00:31:32.92
Mike
Nice.
00:31:33.31
Bill
um And then I'm like, oh, this is fucking great. Cause I'm like, I can get the full clip nice and clean. I found the volume button. I'm like, oh, this is just like, I'm so fucking stupid. You know, but the way, the way that it is on here, it, it has this where, I mean, now is actually, it's like a volume slider that you can see, but what it looked like, I thought that was a length of the recording, you know, on there.
00:31:55.25
Bill
or they like the play the playing one in the recording part. But either way, um because I'm looking up like, what's the volume on here?
00:31:59.53
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:32:00.97
Bill
You know, I'm like, oh, my God, it's right fucking there. But but so, yeah. So now at any time I want.
00:32:10.99
Mike
he
00:32:11.68
Bill
And and that will be clear in the front of each one of our episodes, and we're all good to go.
00:32:13.19
Mike
Nice.
00:32:15.92
Bill
So, yeah, I'm happy with now I'm happy with myself.
00:32:16.64
Mike
Cool.
00:32:18.51
Bill
But
00:32:20.29
Mike
You took a responsibility.
00:32:22.46
Bill
I did. I was literally, when I listen to playback, I'm like, that's fucking terrible. I'm like, I didn't even, I wanted to, I actually wanted to edit it out, but I'm like, that fucking, I mean, um there's no way in the world I'm going to go through any, like that kind of effort.
00:32:35.12
Mike
Right.
00:32:35.93
Bill
I ain't doing that kind of fucking work. Oh, real quick. so um Who was I listening to speaking to editing Oh, Dax Shepard I talk about him every once in a while. And um so here's the thing and I guess it's a side note before I bring up the editing part. um Dax Shepard as a there. There's one thing that I don't.
00:32:55.35
Bill
A couple of things that kind of, I don't want to say great on me that I necessarily like about him. Every once in a while, he says words weird but every once in a while, just like ticks that, you know, that you catch.
00:33:05.17
Mike
Sure.
00:33:05.19
Bill
It's not that I don't like it, but whatever. um But the thing of it is still to this to this day, when people bring up here or bring up sobriety, like he'll talk about, he'll say, oh, you know, i um I first, or I've been around this thing since,
00:33:19.55
Bill
or I first got sober, whatever it is, he, like 25 years ago, he goes, I, you know, I got, I got into this, you know, 25 years ago.
00:33:26.92
Mike
Right.
00:33:27.83
Bill
And he never, ah he relapsed, you know, and it was a, it was a drug thing and he was open.
00:33:29.72
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:33:32.50
Bill
It was Bradley Cooper that got him to to come out with it. Cause told him, listen, dude, you talk about this shit all the time.
00:33:35.66
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:33:38.08
Bill
If you're not willing to, to out yourself, what do you do until all these people, you know?
00:33:42.09
Mike
Right, right.
00:33:42.77
Bill
um So one, it was so great that, you know, whenever it was handful of years ago, not great that he relapsed, but
00:33:47.48
Mike
Hmm.
00:33:47.69
Bill
uh bradley cooper had him take responsibility for himself but he's uh and again you talk about somebody up there not taking responsibility i cringe every time i hear it because he never says if somebody somebody's brought it up before and they're like oh i heard your
00:33:51.14
Mike
Hmm.
00:34:03.45
Bill
you're kind of coming out episode then he'll say yeah he goes I haven't had a drop of alcohol in 20 years but you know I've been off of pills now for this but he'll only bring it up when he's asked but that's a whole sideline to this but it again it makes me cringe a little bit it makes me uncomfortable because I would want to if somebody said that I'm like here's why what my deal is I'd want to just fucking vomit it on somebody be like no I did this but I'm back you know
00:34:09.82
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. yeah Right.
00:34:27.59
Bill
so but anyhow um he was they were talking about editing and stuff like that and uh in all the time and effort like his his partner name is monica um does all the editing and if they were talking to somebody she's like the person that they were talking to said man you did such a great job when you edited the last time i was on here and she's like i take pride in that blah blah blah she's like it's a lot of work and whatever and in my head i'm like i am so fucking glad
00:34:33.06
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:34:45.90
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:34:51.66
Bill
That we don't you know, but um, you know cuz even like even mark mark Marin I mean he'll talk about Whoever his producer is and it's the shit out of his stuff because if he if he's got an episode that runs an hour and a half What 20 minutes of it is him, you know doing his stuff I mean that hour and ten or whatever it is at the guest They're probably there an hour and a half hour or 45 minutes um They openly talk about the fact that they edit, you know But he's what I wanted to bring up about him was
00:34:53.42
Mike
Yeah.
00:35:00.74
Mike
Right.
00:35:04.26
Mike
Right. Sure.
00:35:15.66
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:35:18.99
Bill
he's a couple of these episodes recently he's talked about the fact of yeah we're old school man we're du we're like radio man we're only you know we're only audio and he said it in his most recent episode he goes you know what he goes i don't want to make people watch this stuff he goes we're still just audio he goes i think it's more intimate that way and he likes having people for him um i mean a lot of people hated the pandemic but he's talked about that openly
00:35:26.47
Mike
Right.
00:35:38.33
Mike
Yeah.
00:35:45.69
Bill
he didn't like the whole Zoom thing. He goes, I just didn't feel, he goes, I like sitting in front of somebody, you know?
00:35:48.67
Mike
Right.
00:35:51.69
Mike
Yeah.
00:35:52.89
Bill
And I mean, I don't know, I mean, it'd be it'd be cool, obviously not possible for us, you know, to do that, but um I mean, we've actually never had anyone in the same room, you know, when we've recorded, but um I don't know, it was just, Mark's been, he's been really kind of focused on that sort of thing, which I which i thought was kind of cool.
00:35:56.12
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:36:02.09
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:36:09.76
Bill
um And you know the it it makes me feel um It actually does it makes me feel good. I feel good about what we're doing any help But you know you watch all of these like Matt from sober friends is now he just popped on tick-tock He was talking about in one of their episodes So he's doing all these fucking videos clearly on tick-tock and they're on Instagram.
00:36:16.98
Mike
Sure.
00:36:24.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:36:27.29
Mike
Right.
00:36:28.20
Bill
Everyone's got their videos got their YouTube everyone's got their all this shit and And I'm like, you know what, I mean, again, you look at that and it's, I don't know, you just, everyone else is doing it.
00:36:31.39
Mike
Right.
00:36:37.50
Bill
You know, it's that mindset, but I'm like, you know what, this, it is what it is.
00:36:37.92
Mike
Sure.
00:36:41.59
Bill
It's, I like what we do. um The video was uncomfortable.
00:36:44.82
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:36:44.98
Bill
I watched some of these people that do video and it's, they look, they do, they look fucking uncomfortable.
00:36:50.25
Mike
Right, exactly. Yeah, I mean, I, you know, ah
00:36:52.10
Bill
You know?
00:36:54.32
Mike
We've talked about it, right.
00:36:55.44
Bill
ah
00:36:55.60
Mike
you know i I like radio. I like when I but when i do podcasts, I listen to them.
00:37:01.11
Bill
right
00:37:02.36
Mike
I mean, hell, radio shows, actual radio shows are doing video now. you know they'll They'll have a ah YouTube feed while they're doing their show.
00:37:07.45
Bill
Right.
00:37:10.70
Mike
The local guy I listen to here on Cox, he's got a YouTube feed going. Um, and he, yeah, he talks about, he hates it cause he's, he's a radio dude. I mean, Mark, Mark is a radio guy.
00:37:21.82
Mike
I mean, he did a lot of radio. He had a show in l LA for awhile. He was on air America for a couple of years, you know?
00:37:27.33
Bill
Right.
00:37:28.50
Mike
Yeah. I, I, I. I like radio. I still listen to radio. And so, yeah, we if I'm going to do something like this, a podcast or whatever, yeah, audio.
00:37:41.10
Mike
That's the way I like it. You know, we did we did the we did the one experiment and I fucking hated it.
00:37:42.34
Bill
Right.
00:37:46.86
Mike
I was just like, no, yeah.
00:37:47.42
Bill
Yeah. And it's, ah you know, again, like, like I said, there may be, maybe there would be some reason, you know, and I know jokingly I said, if we had, you know, some hot chicks on or something like that, but, um, but I'm just saying maybe there would be a reason.
00:37:59.95
Bill
And I know that, you know, again, YouTube is one of the biggest things, but I got an email from, um, pod page. So pod page is our, um, sober, not mature, our podcast website.
00:38:12.13
Bill
Host is pod page.
00:38:12.97
Mike
Okay. Okay.
00:38:14.14
Bill
So, um, in, in, again, well, you know, you were there when we, when we put it together. I mean, it's, uh, it was, it's basically, it's a, it's a web host and they specialize in podcasts. It's fucking awesome.
00:38:25.02
Mike
Right.
00:38:25.21
Bill
That's having built a couple of other websites, not built, but I mean, having to put them together. It's fucking hard pod pages, like, oh, I'm going to put in some stuff and it works. and that's how it should be is fucking great but they were talking about um youtube is kind of changing there uh because there's uh people are called creators on youtube you know and even even spotify or uh yeah spotify it's it's spotify for creators now is the name of that spotify is the place that distributes our podcast they're our distributor
00:38:37.09
Mike
yeah
00:38:45.18
Mike
Uh huh. Mm hmm.
00:38:55.01
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:38:56.19
Bill
um you know But um everyone's doing all that, but apparently YouTube's taking this switch and basically calling all of its you know kind of creators, podcasters, because they're trying to grab the podcast market.
00:39:06.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:08.51
Bill
And I've heard from a lot of different people that if you really want to grow as a medium, whatever you are, YouTube you know happens to be the place to do it because YouTube is trying to attract and they're doing this and that.
00:39:17.38
Mike
Sure.
00:39:19.80
Bill
And every one of our fucking episodes goes up on YouTube, but it's fucking audio.
00:39:22.50
Mike
Yeah.
00:39:24.34
Bill
you know
00:39:24.38
Mike
Right.
00:39:25.42
Bill
and if people find us that way, fine. If people don't like it that way, fuck them. I don't know. Here's the thing. you Let's throw this out as a blanket statement. If, okay, now something, if we get like one of the, like Dax, you know Dax has got a big deal, Smartless has got a big deal.
00:39:38.16
Mike
Right.
00:39:41.52
Bill
I mean, Mark makes his own money doing his thing.
00:39:43.83
Mike
right
00:39:43.91
Bill
um you know If somebody wants to come along and somebody backs up a truckload of fucking money,
00:39:48.21
Mike
Right.
00:39:48.29
Bill
and says, okay, but you could do your audio, but you gotta do a little video over here. I think maybe, you know, we would be like, okay.
00:39:53.96
Mike
Right.
00:39:56.71
Mike
Yeah.
00:39:56.89
Bill
um But, you know, there's gonna be, that would be a sideline thing. That's the thing, man. I don't wanna lose, again, talk about fucking control. I don't wanna lose control of this thing either, you know?
00:40:07.59
Bill
this whether it Whether it was little or medium or big, I mean, I like the fact that we don't have to go ask anyone, can we do this?
00:40:15.08
Mike
Right.
00:40:18.13
Bill
I mean, nine times that, well, you don't fucking know any, any day you sit in front of this goddamn computer screen of yours and throw that microphone into those headphones on, you have no fucking idea except for your reading.
00:40:28.92
Bill
You have no idea what's going to come out of my mouth.
00:40:29.08
Mike
Right.
00:40:31.56
Mike
night Right.
00:40:31.61
Bill
We, we never do a pre, well, we do a pre-show about other shit, but, um, you know, we don't sit down. I never, in the beginning, what was that like episode three or four? I said, do you want me to show you this list before?
00:40:42.42
Mike
Right.
00:40:42.57
Bill
And do you remember what your answer was?
00:40:44.37
Mike
I said no, because it I'll have time to think up a little lie.
00:40:49.25
Bill
Yeah. So do almost, almost three years ago, you know, my friend Mike over there and I just laughed.
00:40:52.47
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:40:54.54
Bill
I'm like, okay, he's like, yeah, he goes, I don't want, ah because I guess I don't have time to think up lies.
00:41:00.51
Mike
Yep.
00:41:00.91
Bill
yeah You know, and
00:41:02.49
Mike
I want to be honest, and the best way to be honest is to just fucking they be spontaneity and do what I have. Yeah, exactly.
00:41:12.77
Bill
And that's why I try, I try so hard um that when I write these things down or put, you know, um obviously make these notes on on my phone, that I don't think about them too much because I also don't want to spoil, you know, my thing.
00:41:21.07
Mike
Right.
00:41:23.31
Bill
And sometimes looking back on them, I can't remember number one, how long it's been on here. I don't remember why I wrote it down.
00:41:27.67
Mike
Right.
00:41:29.51
Bill
I sometimes have typos on here because I've voice texted and I'm like, what the fuck did I even put on here?
00:41:34.52
Mike
All right. Yeah, you don't even have any idea what the fuck it means. I love that.
00:41:38.77
Bill
right I'm like, I don't even know why I wrote this stuff. No idea. I don't even know what it means. I said they're reading words and they don't make any sense. Yep, but hey, we are professionals, so fuck all of ya.
00:41:49.12
Mike
That's right.
00:41:51.23
Bill
All right, so on that note, now that I told all the listeners that fuck all of ya, should we just take a break? Let them give a little bit of time to cool down. but
00:41:58.15
Mike
Yes. we We'll be back with more fun and more thrills right after these words from our sponsor.
00:42:12.12
Bill
all right everyone welcome back more thrills huh what'd you say more thrills and more what more fun we're thrill see again words come out of your mouth in 30 seconds well 10 seconds later wait what did you just say i have no idea what you're fuck i have no idea what you're fucking talking about uh but no seriously man i i am we're coming up i mean we're a little over Then we're a month and a couple of weeks away from January, February, twenty or two months away.
00:42:17.60
Mike
More fun and more thrills.
00:42:25.86
Mike
yeah i don't know
00:42:32.32
Mike
Right.
00:42:40.19
Bill
I'm sorry. um February 27th will be three years when we started this thing.
00:42:44.40
Mike
right
00:42:45.26
Bill
And I don't know. I mean, it it it seems like we've been doing this forever, but then again, it doesn't, you know?
00:42:49.39
Mike
Right.
00:42:49.82
Bill
I mean,
00:42:50.39
Mike
It doesn't.
00:42:52.49
Bill
and And yeah, we learned some things. I mean, i we're on episode 147, and I just figured out where a volume button was on a video clip.
00:42:59.16
Mike
use use
00:43:00.94
Bill
I mean, we we've had this software for fucking six months or seven months, and I just figured out you know how to use these little you know video things.
00:43:04.81
Mike
Yeah.
00:43:07.87
Bill
right but I can load up a bunch of shit. maybe it'll start That'll be our thing from now on. Every episode, I'll just pop in with a new little shit. it
00:43:15.32
Mike
Nice.
00:43:16.38
Bill
but speaking of every episode i won't do it right now but i do have two news stories definitely want to want to get to both of those because i because they're fun because i think they're fun but um all right so the 24 hour book speaking of was talking about fellowship this week um i think this week and maybe last week but for sure this week So ah my question to you, Mike, um how important was the fellowship to you ah when you first got sober?
00:43:39.63
Mike
Yes.
00:43:46.01
Bill
I've got a second part question to that, but to begin with, um how important was fellowship to you?
00:43:47.91
Mike
Right.
00:43:50.82
Bill
Like again, right away at the at the beginning.
00:43:53.80
Mike
Uh, well, I like, we had a choice, uh,
00:43:58.09
Bill
Well, yeah, that's a good point.
00:44:01.31
Mike
packed into the Keating Center, stacked up like cordwood. Um, no, it, it was important because, um, I've said it many times, you know, I was an isolator, I was a loner and I still am to a large extent. You know, I, I've lived my life fairly solitary. Um,
00:44:20.53
Mike
But yes, it was, you know, it was very important to be accountable and to, um, and to know that I wasn't alone.
00:44:30.63
Mike
And, um, again, you know, not unique and not special of, you know, I've got this right.
00:44:35.19
Bill
Right?
00:44:36.26
Mike
No, it's big time. I mean, it was all, these were all important things that I had to, to learn and then and to know, you know, in my heart. that um that yeah, you know I wasn't unique, I wasn't special, I was a garden variety drunk and and the solution was there for all of us, including me. um And the work was the same for all of us, including me. And um yeah, so you know being walking through this with my fellow drunks and junkies was very important. um Yeah, you know just I wasn't alone and I and ah certainly wasn't special.
00:45:14.80
Bill
Right. Yeah. And you know, I mean, I, uh, I spent a lot of time alone, you know, obviously towards, towards the end, I lived alone, you know, from when, when Don and I split and, you know, figure that, that four year period, which were there fucking dark, but I mean, you know, I, I did, I lived by myself, obviously Derek there and blah, blah, blah.
00:45:21.25
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:45:31.00
Bill
but Um, ah I guess with the, with the fellowship, I don't know. Um, I'm just going to say, I don't know that I would have, that I would have stayed, you know, go getting back to the, um, you know, enjoying ourselves and and that sort of thing.
00:45:43.46
Bill
Like, you know, talk to that person with the, with the lead.
00:45:43.97
Mike
Right.
00:45:46.00
Bill
I mean, if I wasn't, if I didn't at least, and it was hard, you know, being around that many, like you said, you know, stacked up like fucking cord, what we always talk about it.
00:45:50.26
Mike
right Oh, yeah.
00:45:53.10
Bill
And not everyone was a breath of fucking fresh air around there. yeah I mean, not even, not even close.
00:45:58.06
Mike
No, there was some very stinky breath in there.
00:46:01.36
Bill
Yeah, and you know, and yeah I get it. I mean, people coming in and just like us, they're fucking wild animals that are trying to be tamed, you know, or trying to Marty was trying to teach us the, these grown men, whether we were in their, their mid twenties to their you know mid forties to whatever.
00:46:16.37
Mike
Right.
00:46:16.61
Bill
you know teaching all of us you know how to actually live and be semi-decent human beings and you know be part of society again. um So I mean, I get it, but um I don't know, it's ah the the guys themselves.
00:46:29.64
Bill
I mean, the we made some friendships, you know even if though a lot of them you know have turned out to be, you know for us, the the sobriety lifelong friendships, you know the people that we met, um you know but others weren't, but they were very important at that time.
00:46:32.74
Mike
z
00:46:38.72
Mike
Sure.
00:46:43.54
Bill
you know
00:46:44.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:46:44.50
Bill
And um like you said, the the accountability made me think of um the the cleaning up. And if something was wrong, everyone got punished. us they' got like you know One person was out fucking his baby mom and the whole place gets shut down.
00:46:51.68
Mike
Right.
00:46:55.76
Mike
Yow.
00:46:56.94
Bill
um you know or But anything like that, you know you lived and died with each other. you know So he was um you know Marty was teaching us this unity, which um all of us were like a bunch of lone fucking wolves that had to be be taught how to act as a pack.
00:47:01.96
Mike
Yeah.
00:47:06.04
Mike
Yeah,
00:47:12.31
Mike
yeah right.
00:47:12.31
Bill
you know No, it was really important.
00:47:16.52
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:47:16.93
Bill
i Again, I can't say that I wouldn't have stayed, but I know that the and until until I had the opportunity to kind of get some clarity, I guess is the best way to put it, um you know that all the guys that were there, all of those guys, you know um I think helped keep me there.
00:47:30.13
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:47:33.25
Mike
Right. Definitely.
00:47:35.10
Bill
Yeah.
00:47:35.60
Mike
Definitely. yeah Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's important, you know. Yeah. You know, the first word, or the first step is we. and um And yeah, we cannot do this by ourselves, you know.
00:47:47.13
Mike
Marty drilled it into our heads. We stay sober. I get drunk.
00:47:53.32
Bill
Right. Well, and the other thing too, especially in, you know, though those early days and stuff like that is that, you know, regardless of what was going on, especially when we started to get some freedom, you know, um, if you didn't know what to do with yourself, you could always, uh, you know, if you're, it didn't matter where you were, you're out doing whatever and you're having,
00:48:02.49
Mike
Right.
00:48:08.13
Bill
having a moment or having a day or maybe yeah maybe people out there getting triggered or whatever, I don't fucking know.
00:48:12.63
Mike
o
00:48:13.62
Bill
you know But whatever, if you just, you're out there and you felt uncomfortable, you could always walk back and there was somebody there.
00:48:19.02
Mike
Right.
00:48:19.19
Bill
you know Even if you didn't know the person, that you could just go sit under the tent and fucking smoke a cigarette. There was another another human being there. you know And that was that's really comforting at times.
00:48:25.67
Mike
Right.
00:48:28.13
Bill
It's like, God, I hate being around the all these fucking people. Um, but other times it was like really nice, you know, and I, I remember and I told this story, but I got out of work the one day and I just, I had a whole Saturday with no place to go and nothing to do.
00:48:33.69
Mike
Yeah.
00:48:40.16
Bill
And, you know, I get out at noon and I'm like, Oh, I'm going to go grab some lunch that was planned. And then like, Oh, I'm like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, I went to like a fucking Best Buy or wherever. And then I just didn't know what to fucking do with myself.
00:48:51.33
Mike
Right.
00:48:51.81
Bill
So I'm like, I'm going to go back to the Keating center and fucking no one was there. No one, you know, I mean, everyone's out doing stuff, you know, so I went, I went down into the swim.
00:48:57.53
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:49:01.85
Bill
We were down in the whatever dorm we were in, you know, three quarter dorm. Um, I went down there and took a fucking nap, you know, and I woke up, I woke up when one of you guys walked in, walked in the dorm.
00:49:07.31
Mike
Yeah.
00:49:10.37
Bill
So I'm like, I don't know what to do with myself. So I'm just going to go, I'm going to go downstairs. I'm going to lay down and I got to sleep, you know, but, um, it was, it, yeah, it was, it was comforting having that fellowship.
00:49:16.71
Mike
Out.
00:49:20.66
Mike
Hmm.
00:49:21.99
Bill
So. The second part of the question though is, do you feel that fellowship is still, and I put the word important, which I don't even know if that's the right word, is a fellowship still a big part of your recovery, maybe?
00:49:32.76
Mike
Yeah.
00:49:37.02
Mike
Um, I mean, but no, not as much. Um, no, it's not, it's not as much, but, um, like you said, you know, it's, it's, it's there.
00:49:48.32
Mike
I know it's there, you know, it's, it's on the other end of the phone.
00:49:48.62
Bill
Right.
00:49:51.00
Mike
I got a phone full of fucking numbers. Um, you know, thankfully I live here where there's, you know, there's meetings, there's tons of meetings every night. If I needed to go and hang out, i i it's there.
00:50:03.19
Mike
Um, thankfully I don't need it.
00:50:03.25
Bill
Right.
00:50:05.09
Mike
We've talked about it plenty of times. If I fucking need it that bad, something else is wrong and yeah. Um, but yeah, no, it's not as important, but it's there and I know it's there and I know it's just a phone call or, you know, get in my car, drive up the street and go to a church basement.
00:50:23.37
Mike
It's there. Um, and that's enough for me today. You know, when I talked about that, that first time I went to Mexico, you know, um, it's, uh, we go to an all inclusive, um, you know, there's booze everywhere.
00:50:26.63
Bill
Right.
00:50:35.34
Mike
Um, it's a big part of what's going on there for most of the people there. And, um, the first time I went, you know, it was just, you're my girlfriend and and she's not one of us. And so, um, I was feeling a bit alone and a bit just, you know, off.
00:50:50.06
Mike
Not really, you know, nothing bad, nothing. I sure as hell wasn't going to get, take a drink or anything, but, um, you know, and I think the. third or fourth night we were there having dinner in one of the restaurants and the next table over the people happened to hear or something that, you know, I didn't order any booze or I said, no, no, thanks.
00:51:09.33
Mike
I don't drink or whatever. And um yeah, it was one of us at the next table. And it was that first time that was fuck seven years ago.
00:51:18.30
Bill
Right.
00:51:18.34
Mike
And um it was enough. I was just instantly like, fuck, I'm cool. You know, there's another one of us here. And I had concrete evidence of it. And it was enough, man. and It was like, oh, I'm not alone.
00:51:30.37
Mike
Cool. And I was fine. And I've been fine ever since and haven't had that interaction any other time I've gone before again, but didn't matter. You know, I had it once and so I knew it was there.
00:51:42.23
Mike
And and and I know it's, it was a reminder that it's always fucking there.
00:51:42.25
Bill
Right.
00:51:47.06
Mike
There's one of us everywhere. You know, so and it's yeah, it's I don't need it in my face anymore.
00:51:50.44
Bill
Right?
00:51:55.61
Mike
It's just it's there, you know, and God knows the neighborhood I live in is basically the neighborhood that the Keating Center was in. And, um you know, I mean, I fucking see us all the time, you know, group of guys walking down 117th Street.
00:52:10.78
Mike
I mean, you know, the old Keating Center, there is a sober living place there. Now it is, you know, it's so LBG to Q Y X Y Z W house now the Riley house. Um, I'm half joking. I do know the the the order doesn't matter. Um, yeah. and know So, I mean, I, say every once in a while I'll see a group of those guys or girls or whatever walking down the street and I go, Oh, yep, there's some of us.
00:52:37.90
Bill
Yeah, and and you know, the the thing of it is, and like you mentioned that, um you know, obviously Mexico thing, when in Uncle John's, you know, funeral, and I've told that story, but the the whole point there was, you know, there was a guy that knew me from ah from me, secretary, the Thursday night Keating Center, you know, meeting and I was and a little over two years sober, you know, certainly not not um
00:52:45.31
Mike
Right.
00:52:53.34
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:52:56.94
Mike
Right.
00:52:59.42
Bill
I was going to drink, you know, over, it was a, it was a tragic death, you know, but I wasn't going to drink over it.
00:53:00.63
Mike
Right.
00:53:03.93
Mike
Right.
00:53:04.03
Bill
But, um, man, it was, it was nice, you know, because you were off doing whatever and it's not like any other, other friends were there.
00:53:07.96
Mike
Yeah.
00:53:09.43
Bill
And I didn't know of anyone there that was sober. It was just nice. You know, I'm like, okay, cool.
00:53:13.20
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:53:14.02
Bill
You know, one, one of us is there. And you know, when I've been, you know, I've been pretty open about it.
00:53:15.78
Mike
Yeah.
00:53:18.48
Bill
I mean, I don't go to a lot of meetings and even when I'm out traveling, I'm like, uh, even recently over the last, you know, couple of months, one, a couple of months since I've been here, but, um, I'll take a look.
00:53:24.17
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:53:27.03
Bill
I've got the the meeting, the meeting finder on my phone.
00:53:29.70
Mike
Right.
00:53:30.14
Bill
You know, so when I was ah in northern Wisconsin, I think that was the one that was like the farthest. I think the, the closest meeting, cause I'm in, you know, Niagara, Wisconsin, and I didn't even think there was any, there might not even been any meetings in iron mountain.
00:53:41.61
Mike
Mm
00:53:43.25
Bill
If I remember correctly, I could be wrong, but there was, I mean, it was like fucking 40 minutes away or something like that.
00:53:44.89
Mike
hmm.
00:53:49.22
Mike
Right.
00:53:49.97
Bill
And I'm like, holy shit, you know, but, um, you know, some of the ones are like, uh, yeah, there's a little spread out, but they're, they're still, there's a fucking meeting, you know, um,
00:53:57.24
Mike
Sure. Yeah, exactly. And 40 minutes away, it's there, you know, if you got to go, if you needed that, it's there.
00:54:01.12
Bill
Right.
00:54:05.01
Mike
And and for me, that's, that's comforting enough. I know it exists.
00:54:08.27
Bill
Right.
00:54:09.58
Mike
If I, if I've got to go, it's there for me.
00:54:12.22
Bill
Yeah. And you know what? I mean, honestly, I there, there have been times that I'm like, you know what? It'd be cool to go to a meeting just because I said that before. I like doing it. I like going to meetings in different areas just to see and you get to meet people.
00:54:20.30
Mike
Sure. sure
00:54:24.78
Bill
Um, but you know, like nine times out of 10, I look at, I'm like, Oh, well, okay. It's at this time. And I was like, I was in the, when I was in West Virginia, Eastern time zone, you know, so. I'm working ah work at a nine to six and it's like a seven o'clock meeting.
00:54:37.40
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:54:37.54
Bill
um It's doable, you know but I'm like, yeah, when am I gonna eat?
00:54:38.89
Mike
Sure.
00:54:40.93
Bill
Because eating is kind of important in my life these days.
00:54:42.14
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:54:44.48
Bill
And it obviously getting sleep, you know i'm kind of ah umm I'm kind of pissy when it gets to that. I'm like, I need to be fed and I need to sleep.
00:54:52.49
Mike
Right.
00:54:53.27
Bill
you know and I need a certain amount of both, and I'm i'm in good shape. you know um So I just didn't make it you know when i when I was down there, but I will. you know Just again, it's knowing that, and I don't know, God, probably shit, this could have be even be fucking 10 years ago, let alone five or six, who knows. um I was down here for something, and Kathy and I were joking about whatever, and um I don't know, whatever the case was, it was like, well, I don't know, worst case scenario, I'm like, I can just head out, you know kind of like, ah-ha-ha type of thing.
00:55:19.88
Bill
She's like, well, where are you going to go around here? I'm like, you know, get I got, I got, I got a, I got a million friends all over the fucking world.
00:55:25.06
Mike
Right. Yep.
00:55:26.06
Bill
And she's like, well, that's a, that's a goddamn good point. You know, and that's not the exact thing, but there was a point that I just said that I'm like, literally we do, we have, and that's not egotistical.
00:55:32.18
Mike
Well.
00:55:35.84
Bill
It's a fucking fact.
00:55:37.01
Mike
Yeah.
00:55:37.13
Bill
We have friends everywhere. It doesn't matter where we are in the world.
00:55:38.76
Mike
Yep.
00:55:40.49
Bill
You can go, you can find a meeting. And even if you don't understand what they're talking about, you can figure it out, you know?
00:55:45.64
Mike
Yeah. Exactly.
00:55:49.80
Bill
But um yeah, but to your point too, I mean, I don't know that it's, I like being around like, ah again, Cleveland, I still, I love going back to Cleveland.
00:55:49.85
Mike
Yeah.
00:55:54.58
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:55:56.90
Bill
I like going to the events. I like hanging out with all of our friends, um all those sort of things. So that sort of, but that's more life fellowship, except for, you know, some of the fundraisers are obviously, you know, more of the the core recovery things, but one way or the other, I mean, it's, ah again, to your point, it's still, it's it's an important, and it's a part, you know, it's ah a part of my recovery, but not even close to,
00:56:09.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:56:17.28
Mike
Right.
00:56:19.31
Bill
as big of a part as it was to begin with, right rightfully so.
00:56:20.98
Mike
Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It was, it was far more necessary than it's not quite as necessary now, which is good.
00:56:26.53
Bill
Right.
00:56:29.45
Bill
Right, yeah, i think I think that's called growth, right, I think?
00:56:32.22
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:56:35.88
Bill
um All right, I'm gonna try to just pick one, just let let's do one of these ones that I have no idea what it what it says, okay?
00:56:42.14
Mike
All right.
00:56:42.20
Bill
Let's see if I can stumble about this. Okay, from God, grant me, I did' i didn't read this yet. um Dog, that not dog, God.
00:56:51.13
Mike
How's that? Oh, well.
00:56:55.54
Bill
Dog, grant me. Okay, now, God, grant me. Talked about having times when we don't want help from our higher power. Have you ever had those moments since you've been sober where you just, where you felt, I guess, I suppose that comes down to taking her own will back, right? But I mean, when, I don't know, time since you've been sober, since you you didn't want to take into account of a power greater than yourself.
00:57:19.23
Mike
um I don't think so. I really don't. no um i Now, I mean, it's again, second part of the first step, man. My life is unmanageable. I need i need these powers greater than myself to manage my life. and And I know for a fact that my life is better because of it. So why the fuck would I want to manage my own shit?
00:57:44.16
Bill
yeah And you know what, I think ah it's it's kind of funny when I, as soon as I read that, I'm like, I think I wrote this down, not as a joke, but knowing that the answer is going to be the opposite, kind of like, why the fight a fuck wouldn't I, you know?
00:57:54.33
Mike
Right. what Wow. yeah No, that doesn't sit now. It's just not right. Yeah. I wouldn't want that shit. No.
00:58:02.75
Bill
every Every once in a while, it doesn't happen very often, but every once in a while, so in some of these books, and again, God grant me, keep it simple, whatever it is that we're reading, um even the 24 hour book, you read some of those things, you know, I'm just kind of like,
00:58:09.78
Mike
listen
00:58:14.19
Bill
Uh, you know, yeah that could be taken two different ways that I'm like, I don't like it this way, but I'm going to take it this way.
00:58:15.93
Mike
Sure. sure
00:58:20.86
Bill
There's, it's more, I don't know, maybe again, it's, ah it's growth in the time that we've been sober. Some of these things become more open for interpretation to us, maybe because we can.
00:58:29.05
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:58:29.96
Bill
kind of read into what's not literally not as black and white as it used to be but i think that's why i wrote that one down because yeah i mean same thing i'm like like why i think i'd be i don't think i'd be here you know if if i had because one one little thing is going to turn into a lot of things and i'm i'm gonna die you know because i'm going to drink myself to death so
00:58:33.44
Mike
Right.
00:58:35.89
Mike
ah
00:58:41.28
Mike
Right.
00:58:44.73
Mike
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:58:49.40
Bill
Yeah, stupid God grant me. That's a stupid thing.
00:58:52.19
Mike
The fuck's wrong with you?
00:58:53.10
Bill
God grab me godd grant dumb.
00:58:56.53
Mike
Yeah.
00:58:58.30
Bill
Okay, so this is right below a keep it simple. This is kind of funny. This goes back to like to the lead a little bit. What kind of example do I set? This was from keep it simple. What kind of example do I set?
00:59:09.21
Bill
Does my life reflect joy for life and recovery?
00:59:12.88
Mike
for for
00:59:13.49
Bill
yeah ah So example do I set, but I like to like the last part too. Mike, does your life reflect joy and life and recovery?
00:59:19.45
Mike
No. no
00:59:22.34
Bill
yeah
00:59:22.95
Mike
Well, wait, there's two different things there.
00:59:27.16
Bill
Right, so let's let's do the first part. What kind of example do I set? That's the first part.
00:59:32.49
Mike
Right. But pretty good. I hope. Um, I think so. Yeah. I think I said a pretty good example. Um, joy for life settle down. Um,
00:59:44.41
Bill
Yeah, does your life reflect, yeah, does your life reflect joy for life and recovery? People walk up and like, hi, Mike, you reflect joy.
00:59:53.67
Mike
no, I do not. I know I don't, but, um, I, I, pretty damn sure that my life does reflect the peace and serenity that comes from recovery.
01:00:06.17
Bill
Right.
01:00:06.47
Mike
Um, yeah, definitely. No joy for an engine. Don't settle down. Joy for life. Yeah.
01:00:11.46
Bill
Settle settle the fuck down.
01:00:13.27
Mike
Yeah, please.
01:00:13.56
Bill
God damn it. Okay, let's so let's pull
01:00:14.86
Mike
Right. What are you fucking six months sober on a pink cloud? Shut the fuck up.
01:00:20.56
Bill
Okay, so first of all, God grant me He's dumb, and keep it simple, settle the fuck down.
01:00:25.35
Mike
Thank you.
01:00:27.64
Bill
But um I mean, first of all, what kind of example do you set? Here's here's the thing, and and I don't think this is, it wouldn't have been egotistical for you to say that you set a good example, because if nothing else, and I think that's fair for either one of us to say, um because I think that, you know, I'll say that for you, and I hope maybe you could say that for me.
01:00:45.19
Bill
Because okay, it's not just the time I think it is the the quality the recovery that we had of the openness that we have if nothing else I mean, we're open and honest on here all these things we talk about People, um you know, we're not making up these goddamn stories as as stupiders ridiculous or maybe as heartfelt and in great as they seem they're all fucking real and they're all us um and we've let out the good parts and the bad parts and told the bad stories and um yeah, there was a um
01:00:49.37
Mike
Sure.
01:00:54.27
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm. No. Yup.
01:01:12.56
Bill
nicole from canada that we had on uh i don't know like like a year ago she posted something on instagram it was a uh it was again kind of a meme but you don't get a post about recovery but it says um you know all of us tell the story but the difference in me is i tell the bad part too or something like that or or i'm not afraid to tell the bad part also that sort of thing and i'm like i like that you know because yeah everyone can talk about
01:01:14.63
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure. Mm hmm. Sure.
01:01:32.53
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
01:01:37.56
Bill
you know all the good part but you know i don't know it was it's it's great you know you yes we we are attracted to and in kind of uh i don't know follow the people in this program that have something that we want you know but i don't want to just be around a person it's like oh yeah everything like you said hi i'm so and so my life reflects joy
01:01:51.95
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:01:57.98
Mike
fifty
01:02:01.32
Mike
Right. No, exactly. I mean, those are clearly, those there's ah there there are people like that in the rooms, and that's great.
01:02:04.31
Bill
I'd be like, what?
01:02:09.47
Mike
But those people do not attract me.
01:02:12.86
Bill
Right.
01:02:13.05
Mike
They never have, right? The guys said if fucking attracted me, they're going, yeah. You know, yeah, you could be real and and and and yes, sometimes, you know, whatever, but guess what?
01:02:26.29
Mike
Sobriety does not suck.
01:02:28.46
Bill
Right.
01:02:28.51
Mike
You know, right? Yes. I'm grumpy and i'm I'm moody and I'm a fucking curmudgeon old man. That's what I am. Um, and I'm happy and I'm comfortable with that.
01:02:38.92
Mike
And I have peace and serenity in my grumpiness.
01:02:42.99
Bill
Right. But I mean, that's that's that could easily be separated. That's that's you and your life. that The fact that you're old and grumpy at times, or all the time, whatever it is, has has nothing to do but has nothing to do with your sobriety.
01:02:51.93
Mike
Right. Yeah. but Most of the time.
01:02:56.82
Bill
You have good sobriety in spite of the fact that you're old and grumpy.
01:02:59.78
Mike
Right. Exactly. I have peace and serenity, despite the fact that I am grumpy old man.
01:03:06.26
Bill
Yeah, yeah, that's just the, I made myself laugh, that was kind of funny. but But no, I mean, seriously, I think that, um you know, the, cause I know that, you know, just again, watching people in your home group and things like that, you know, people respect you and, you know, for who you are.
01:03:18.16
Mike
Hmm. Hmm.
01:03:21.43
Bill
And I don't mean that in a weird way, but I mean, they do, they respect you as a as a sober member of this program.
01:03:22.96
Mike
Right. Right.
01:03:26.96
Bill
you know you do set a good example. And I think we were taught to to set that good example. And I think we just living the lives that we do, um whether whether somebody is watching us or whether we know they're watching us or not, um I am not, yeah, i'm not I'm not worried about what I'm doing, wondering, God, should I be doing this?
01:03:34.53
Mike
Right.
01:03:37.97
Mike
Yeah, man, I don't give a shit, right?
01:03:42.78
Mike
Yeah.
01:03:43.87
Bill
Is is somebody watching?
01:03:44.42
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
01:03:45.51
Bill
um But I think that's the key of of setting a good example.
01:03:47.51
Mike
Well, that's just it, right? Yeah. You know, I mean, yeah. Right. You know, ah what's the, the Mark Twain, ah live a life that you won't be afraid of, you know, whatever, somebody finding your parents, something like that.
01:04:00.84
Bill
Right. Yeah. The town where the town parrot could even, you know, where tell everyone they're above and above.
01:04:03.96
Mike
Right. Yeah, exactly.
01:04:05.54
Bill
Yeah.
01:04:06.26
Mike
Right.
01:04:06.69
Bill
Yeah.
01:04:07.04
Mike
Yeah. Which is, which is it, you know, including the curmudgeon-y stuff. Right. Yeah.
01:04:15.66
Mike
I mean, i for me, you know, I think it's important because again, you know, those were the guys I was attracted to. Yes, they were cracking up and yes, and whatever. But, you know, um think about some of those, the older dudes who we first came in, it was like, you know, they weren't all fucking dancing around and happy and fucking whatever.
01:04:32.92
Mike
They were just comfortable in what they were.
01:04:35.00
Bill
Right.
01:04:36.68
Mike
That's exactly what I fucking wanted. That's all I wanted was to be comfortable and to be me, that I don't self be true.
01:04:44.35
Bill
Yeah. And I mean, that's, that's the thing. I mean, I, and the people that are, and again, the, the joy, the joy people, you know, the, the ones that, hi, I'm so, and I'm come, come be happy and joyous, you know, joyous with me and whatever.
01:04:51.60
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right.
01:04:57.66
Bill
And I'm like, you, yeah you want to talk about settle the fuck down. Yeah.
01:05:01.01
Mike
yeah Right.
01:05:01.19
Bill
You need to settle down. You go take, take your fucking joy over there.
01:05:05.63
Mike
Right.
01:05:05.72
Bill
That's fine. I don't care. You know, you do you, but I'm just, I don't need all that.
01:05:07.44
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:05:09.59
Bill
It's like, you know, some fucking, you know, cocaine clown or something all over me.
01:05:09.95
Mike
Right.
01:05:13.39
Bill
And I don't need that.
01:05:14.56
Mike
Yeah. it
01:05:17.20
Bill
Yeah, yeah you're you're sober, but you're acting like a, like a fucking coked up clown. Get away from me.
01:05:21.43
Mike
Right.
01:05:21.83
Bill
Get away from me. But no, I just, I do. I like, you know, yeah, comfortable and just whatever, whatever our version is of normal, comfortable, normal, sober people.
01:05:32.89
Mike
Yep.
01:05:33.33
Bill
Bang. That's what what I want.
01:05:34.07
Mike
Yep.
01:05:34.78
Bill
So.
01:05:35.19
Mike
Exactly.
01:05:36.77
Bill
All right, Exactly, exactly.
01:05:37.59
Mike
Yeah, those those butterflies flying out of your ass. You want to keep them away from me, please?
01:05:45.17
Bill
So, um you know what, let me, yeah let's jump into these these couple of news stories here. I think I got, depending on time, you gotta get a couple of other actual sobriety things. But so, um he this this first news story, um and I don't know if this made national news, but I guess I'm gonna find out when I want to tell you about it here in a minute.
01:06:04.43
Mike
Okay.
01:06:05.50
Bill
um So this guy, did you hear about a kayaker from from Wisconsin who faked his faked his death?
01:06:11.05
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:06:15.37
Bill
ah
01:06:15.50
Mike
You know what? I just heard about it today on the radio.
01:06:19.48
Bill
Okay, so in the reason you heard about it today is the the end result of this, he um he came back and he turned himself in, okay?
01:06:24.22
Mike
see Right. Yeah.
01:06:26.99
Bill
So he's back in custody, but so here's this dude, first of all, um and I found a couple of more things today, because again, it was like Monday or Tuesday, I think it was this week that he actually came back because he would oversee some fucking place.
01:06:37.81
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:06:39.99
Bill
but So this this dude, 45 years old, I just found out that he was married for 21 years.
01:06:40.27
Mike
Right.
01:06:44.07
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
01:06:46.34
Bill
um Two kids, three kids, I forget, but he's got kids. okay
01:06:49.84
Mike
Right.
01:06:50.59
Bill
faked his death um and basically what he did, the way they way keep telling it, they're reading the story as it is, but it just sounds it sounds so funny every time they give the details.
01:06:55.55
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:07:00.53
Bill
Part of the way he, it's like, you know, they're explaining how he faked his death. I mean, he's out kayaking, he flipped his kayak over, left his wallet or something. I don't know, whatever it was, these little things like, I don't know, okay, so his kayak flipped over.
01:07:11.67
Bill
Yeah, just, this this means I'm dead.
01:07:14.45
Mike
Right.
01:07:14.60
Bill
you I'm like, um, apparently had an electric bike. He was in green Lake, which, uh, do you know where kind of walk is? I think you would have went by there. Um, you were at the distribution center out at the target distribution center.
01:07:23.59
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:07:26.68
Bill
Okay. So that's a condom walk.
01:07:28.60
Mike
Okay.
01:07:29.12
Bill
Um, and green Lake is somewhere around there. The guy picked that Lake apparently, because one of the deepest lakes in Wisconsin, which I didn't know.
01:07:34.13
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:07:36.15
Bill
ah but it was in that area, I think he's in a kind of walk. So he hid this, like electric bike, biked all the way to Madison, as it turns out, which, cause I'm, when I'm hearing this whole story, cause it's like almost from the start, they knew this guy wasn't dead, you know?
01:07:41.36
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
01:07:50.45
Mike
Right.
01:07:51.80
Bill
because he had apparently taken, you know, transferred money, the overseas accounts and this and that. There was like activity on a credit card or a bank account, all these different things.
01:08:01.04
Mike
right
01:08:01.16
Bill
And I'm like, this guy's just not smart enough to do this.
01:08:01.47
Mike
Right.
01:08:03.12
Bill
You know, um took out additional life insurance. So everyone's figuring, oh okay, you know, he's going to fucking leave his wife and kids, but, um, you know, He wanted to leave him some money, you know so he cared.
01:08:12.59
Mike
Sure.
01:08:14.41
Bill
But as it turns out, he did this whole thing to go like be with some woman, you know some woman that he met overseas.
01:08:14.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:08:20.75
Mike
Yep.
01:08:22.89
Bill
And as it turns out, that they were reading this in the story today, was that it's like basically he goes through all this trouble, does all these different things, gets to wherever, whatever whatever country it was, and basically said that he knew the minute he saw her in person, that he made a bad decision.
01:08:42.98
Bill
and i'm Okay, let ladies, if if we have women listening to this podcast, which I know there's there's some, um it could happen both ways.
01:08:48.08
Mike
right
01:08:49.91
Bill
You could walk up and see some fucking fugly dude.
01:08:50.50
Mike
Sure.
01:08:52.67
Bill
This guy obviously saw some fugly woman and is like, oh, fuck, what did I do?
01:08:57.96
Mike
Right.
01:08:58.13
Bill
um And I don't even know. I mean, how long he's he was gone for a couple of months, I guess, or something like that. but um So all said and done, yes, somehow the cops were in touch with him. And I don't know how they can fucking convinced him to come back, you know, but they did um But he is charged with He's out on like a $500 signature bond that's number one because he was telling me he didn't have the money um To do whatever he's gonna defend himself and blah blah blah But I think he's it's like a $10,000 fine or something like that with obstructing whatever but I mean that so here's the thing the way that I look at this is that um He
01:09:25.18
Mike
Yep.
01:09:36.62
Bill
First of all, faking your death is not a crime. you know you could If you want to fake your death, you could just pretend, you just run away and then it's technically not a crime.
01:09:43.89
Mike
right.
01:09:43.92
Bill
But you know when you took out additional life insurance, so that's that's leading into insurance fraud. He was about to, you know at least the intent to commit insurance fraud, ah which is a no-no.
01:09:50.77
Mike
Sure.
01:09:55.17
Bill
um But on top of that, I think they spent whatever the cost was, 10, 15, $20,000 in resources, you know searching for this.
01:10:01.13
Mike
Right. To look for him. Right.
01:10:02.89
Bill
Yes.
01:10:02.99
Mike
Yeah, exactly.
01:10:05.64
Bill
searching for this. fuck So, um, then the, the other thing too, and I don't know if they said he got an apartment already. And I'm like, like, where the fuck did this guy, how did he even have any money? You know?
01:10:14.97
Mike
who
01:10:15.27
Bill
But I mean, again, apparently he took money and put it aside. I don't even know what he did for a living prior to that, but then the news story today, by the way, wife filed for divorce filed a separati reconcilable differences t they were again talking abo like, well, yeah, what did you think was going to happen?
01:10:37.46
Bill
Right?
01:10:37.76
Mike
Right.
01:10:38.34
Bill
Um, y for sole custody and I do kids are, they must, they must be teenagers but clearly not
01:10:43.30
Mike
Yeah, I've heard. Yeah. Yeah. I heard teenagers. They said today.
01:10:46.72
Bill
Okay, yeah, and I just didn't know how old.
01:10:47.38
Mike
Yep.
01:10:48.56
Bill
I didn't even know if it's two or three, but um so, you know, and they were kind of joking about this and that one of the guys, one of the guys who actually is in a relationship, not married anymore, but in a relationship, he's kind of like playing off this thing.
01:11:01.90
Bill
Like he goes, no, no, no. He goes, if I came back, he goes, here's what I would do. And he's going through this whole thing. And I'm like, I don't know. um I mean, okay, so you've been married before. I've been married before.
01:11:11.73
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:11:13.09
Bill
um I don't know.
01:11:16.62
Bill
How do you walk back into this? Like, um, okay. So can I get a fucking do over? I mean, what is, yeah.
01:11:22.19
Mike
Right, yeah. Just kidding!
01:11:24.93
Bill
Um, you know, I, but I cared enough to try to take care of you, you know, life insurance or whatever.
01:11:27.55
Mike
Right.
01:11:30.14
Bill
But I mean, I know, yeah, there's another woman that I was going over there to live with, but she's ugly.
01:11:33.75
Mike
right
01:11:36.14
Bill
Like Chevy Jason vacation.
01:11:36.17
Mike
Right.
01:11:37.86
Bill
No, she's ugly. This fucking Christie Brinkley, but
01:11:39.64
Mike
right so
01:11:41.03
Bill
um I just don't even, i you can't come back with that. I mean, of course divorce, I get that part of it, but here's the, I think the worst part, especially of his kids are teenagers. Again, how the fuck, how do you, I mean, we thought we had some trouble trying to repair some relationships.
01:11:56.50
Mike
Right.
01:11:59.36
Bill
I'd rather be a fucking raging alcoholic than they have to deal with his mess.
01:12:02.77
Mike
Right.
01:12:03.58
Bill
But just another one, you know, we we talked about that one, you know, when the guy tried to, tried to steal the guy's identity and killed his friend and in all that stuff. And then, you know, now we got this fucking rocket scientist out there trying to fucking fake his death.
01:12:15.48
Bill
And so he's going to tip his kayak over and that's going to leave it. I didn't even know. I'm just like fucking terrible.
01:12:21.47
Mike
Yeah.
01:12:23.38
Bill
But so you actually heard about it this week, huh?
01:12:23.52
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:12:25.22
Bill
Or today?
01:12:25.67
Mike
Yeah. Today. Yeah. Cause yeah, it just came back. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He did that. He, I guess he rode his electric bike to Madison, then got on a bus and went to Toronto and then got on a plane and went to Paris and then went to, uh, kick status standard or someplace, you know, there's somebody started your plane.
01:12:39.96
Bill
Yeah.
01:12:46.76
Bill
Right.
01:12:46.83
Mike
pee in place, uh, where this broad was at. Yeah. And got there. Yeah. And plus, you know, I'm sure you got to ecstatic stand or wherever the fuck you was, you know, rocket, my pants stand.
01:12:58.53
Mike
And, uh, yeah, looked around and went, well, shit, this isn't America. This is kind of crappy here. I don't want to live here.
01:13:05.33
Bill
Right.
01:13:06.57
Mike
What the hell, man? It's third world country.
01:13:09.55
Bill
Right.
01:13:09.71
Mike
Yeah, i so i'll just I'll just go back to Wisconsin and hey baby, I'm back. Just call me Jesus because I've been resurrected.
01:13:18.56
Bill
Yeah, it's just, um then i'm then I'm thinking to myself, and the reason I, I mean, it was maybe left to begin with, but literally the reason I wanted to bring up the story in here, I'm like, this guy sounds like, he he may not be an alcoholic and he may not be an addict, but man, that's some alcoholic behavior.
01:13:34.02
Mike
Yeah, that's definitely selfish and self-centered.
01:13:37.91
Bill
Yeah, it's just, that I don't know. i I just, I don't, I couldn't even see there there wasn't even, there was no part of that plan where I'm like, Oh, okay. Well, I get that part. Yeah. I realized it went a little bit wrong there.
01:13:47.99
Mike
Hmm.
01:13:48.18
Bill
There wasn't even one part of the plan, which like, did he got right or that even made any fucking sense?
01:13:52.22
Mike
No, that made any sense for the get go. Right. yeah ha Yeah.
01:13:57.46
Bill
Yeah.
01:14:01.38
Mike
I don't try to understand morons makes my head hurt.
01:14:04.18
Bill
Right. But no, I just, say they I wasn't sure because I knew it made national news, but I just wasn't sure how, if you would have heard about that. But okay, so here's here's another one. So are you looking for um any last minute gifts for, let's say Chris this year for Christmas?
01:14:24.26
Mike
I already told you I'm not doing Christmas. So no.
01:14:26.99
Bill
Okay.
01:14:30.14
Bill
Are you looking for any last minute gifts for Chris at any point?
01:14:33.60
Mike
Um, no, no, not last minute.
01:14:35.81
Bill
Okay.
01:14:36.44
Mike
Last minute for white. My, I don't plan on tipping my kayak over tomorrow.
01:14:42.42
Bill
it's So, so, okay.
01:14:42.88
Mike
I've got a few minutes left. I don't have a last one yet.
01:14:45.97
Bill
So, so here we go. Miller High Life's new perfume smells just like a diet bar.
01:14:50.09
Mike
Mmm.
01:14:55.06
Bill
And they put, they put dash in a good way. And I looked at this, I'm like, cause I've been, there's been a lot of onion headlines on my Instagram feed lately.
01:14:58.59
Mike
Well, I hate.
01:15:04.02
Bill
And I've always loved the onion. i I really do. I think it's fucking funny.
01:15:06.09
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:15:06.95
Bill
You know, it's ah based on a Madison or at least it was, I think they were bought out, but it started in in Madison, but, um, so yeah.
01:15:09.71
Mike
Yeah. Mm-hmm. It did. Yep.
01:15:14.92
Bill
So here's the start of the article. Have you ever thought, man, I really wish I could smell exactly like my favorite dive bar. Yeah.
01:15:21.63
Mike
What do you mean? Wish. I did.
01:15:24.35
Bill
but Right, but it's like Tuesday Miller High Life announced its plans to release a brand new perfume That makes us all the essential sense of a neighborhood dive bar now.
01:15:29.00
Mike
Hmm.
01:15:33.81
Bill
It's called just hey like Miller High Life dive bar fume, okay
01:15:35.34
Mike
Yeah. Hmm.
01:15:40.40
Bill
Um, this, uh, hang on one second. It it went down this, uh, oh, captures every familiar dive bar scent from the satisfying crack of a freshly opened beer to the comforting savory taste of classic bar snacks.
01:15:51.46
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:15:55.17
Bill
Okay.
01:15:55.42
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:15:55.57
Bill
So you spent some time in a bar, have you Mike?
01:15:59.98
Mike
Uh, yeah, a little bit.
01:16:02.59
Bill
I have to. Um, I don't want any woman that I'm with smelling like, like what I used to do in a bar. So, but this is the thing captures every familiar dive bar set.
01:16:15.71
Bill
Where's the vomit? Where's the smelly dude in the corner?
01:16:17.22
Mike
Right. Now.
01:16:18.89
Bill
Where's the fucking nasty horror? That's at the end of the bar. I'm like, I'm like, where's this?
01:16:22.21
Mike
Mhmm.
01:16:24.86
Bill
Oh, I'm like freshly cracked beer and comforting savory taste of classic bar snacks.
01:16:27.02
Mike
Right.
01:16:30.69
Mike
Hmm. All right. So pickled eggs and stale cigarettes and yeah.
01:16:37.48
Bill
Right, yeah, cigarettes, I forgot about that. Yeah, that was, yeah, that was the years ago type of thing, but um I just, seriously, I thought this was a fucking joke, but it's not.
01:16:39.29
Mike
All right.
01:16:42.23
Mike
Mhmm.
01:16:48.49
Bill
And it's in a little pump bottle, little perfume bottle, um you know, with the Miller High Life logo on it.
01:16:53.59
Mike
It's not a little keg.
01:16:53.63
Bill
And I'm like, no, it's ah it's the the picture that they're showing is a square, like a square perfume bottle. God, a keg, see, you should be in marketing, my friend.
01:17:02.65
Mike
Well, yeah, I know.
01:17:04.98
Bill
You're like, yeah, I know.
01:17:05.87
Mike
Clearly there's no alcoholics on this team.
01:17:08.92
Bill
Right. Yeah. That, that would have been, or have like have it actually in a fucking beer bottle or a can or something like that.
01:17:13.71
Mike
Right.
01:17:13.88
Bill
That's like, okay. I think that, yeah, goddamn.
01:17:16.40
Mike
Well.
01:17:17.07
Bill
Yeah. Let's get on the phone with Miller. Cause they, at least they get a fucking bar smelling perfume, but I'm like, yeah,
01:17:19.43
Mike
All right. We'll tap on the top of it to dump this goo out.
01:17:26.51
Bill
it's just, to I, uh, again, I don't, I don't understand how anyone would want to smell like a fucking bar. I just don't.
01:17:32.60
Mike
Oh, that's, that's okay.
01:17:37.38
Bill
Yeah, I know. And you know, the problem is, you know, for a fucking fact, there's going to be plenty of people lined up to buy that shit, which is, barber.
01:17:43.10
Mike
I got me some of that, uh, their bar perfume.
01:17:50.93
Bill
Honey, you smell like a bar. I love you.
01:17:52.87
Mike
ah Well, you know.
01:17:55.89
Bill
Yeah. I was just, I was just going to say maybe that, uh, you know, maybe that is how you how you attract your favorite alcoholic, right?
01:18:02.49
Mike
this All right.
01:18:04.43
Bill
All right. So those are my, those are my two news stories. So, uh, yep. Ladies and gentlemen, run out and get your, uh, you know, get your, get your bar perfume.
01:18:09.89
Mike
Right.
01:18:11.27
Bill
So.
01:18:11.35
Mike
Perfect for a stocking stuffer or a sweat sock stuffer.
01:18:13.78
Bill
yeah
01:18:18.68
Bill
ah Okay. God, look at that. I wrote down how important this fellowship to recovery. I already, I got that one. God damn it. Let's scratch that one off. I sometimes have repeats as you can, as you can tell.
01:18:29.04
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:18:30.80
Bill
All right, so from 24 hours, oh, look at this. We go back to the, I think this kind of goes back to it too. This I think was from this week. What is the quality of my sobriety? This is from 24 hour book.
01:18:41.77
Bill
um Then this, many times it's important for the newcomers to see the old timers have many years, but then comes the quote, if they can do it, I can do it. So let's start back to the beginning. And I think we talked about this a little bit before, but you know, the quality of our sobriety, um should we just jump the gun on that and say, I think,
01:18:52.48
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:18:59.68
Bill
We think it's okay. Pretty good quality.
01:19:00.87
Mike
Yeah.
01:19:01.59
Bill
Okay.
01:19:01.62
Mike
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, again. Yeah. I mean, we kind of already talked about it, you know, the not the joy, but the, yeah, just, you know, I'm fucking comfortable. You want what I have?
01:19:10.33
Bill
Right.
01:19:10.98
Mike
Come out and get it. Do this shit that I do.
01:19:14.54
Bill
So in, you know, obviously talked about the same thing that many times it's important for newcomers to see the old timers, you know, obviously have the years because then obviously they can see it can be done.
01:19:23.37
Mike
Yeah.
01:19:23.47
Bill
um But this goes back to, and I don't remember if we talked about this on here, but every time, every time I i see this quote or hear this statement, it just, it's a cringy one for me always. If, if they can do it, I can do, or not necessarily I can do it, but if, if the person that always sa it anyone can.
01:19:40.64
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:19:40.90
Bill
Um that al
01:19:42.73
Mike
Right.
01:19:43.13
Bill
i mean if somebody's looking at if if somebody is saying if i'm bill newcomer and I walk in the rooms and I'm like okay that dude Mike over there he's scary looking kind of ugly little grumpy you know but he's he's got he's got some from the sober side of things you know good quality sobriety um he's I can see this kind of guy that's got what I want and you know if if he can do it then I can okay so is that
01:19:58.10
Mike
Right.
01:20:07.88
Mike
right
01:20:10.09
Bill
Like the other way around, I don't like it when somebody up at a like leading and something says, Hey, if I could do this, anyone can, which I, I've always thought is a load of horse shit, but, um, I don't know.
01:20:13.86
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah.
01:20:18.69
Bill
Am I looking at it wrong? If somebody comes up to you and like, are they putting you up on a pedestal? Are they, is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? If they're like, Oh, I can, he can do what I can do.
01:20:28.51
Mike
Right. No. no um Don't put me on a fucking pedestal. all
01:20:33.49
Bill
Never.
01:20:34.32
Mike
Never. No, no, no, no. I'm equal. Right. ah Exactly. The same level as everybody else. Um, yeah. I mean, hopefully, you know, somebody can, yeah, yeah somebody walk again.
01:20:45.99
Mike
You know, we looked at the old guys when we walked in, same thing, you know?
01:20:49.10
Bill
Right.
01:20:50.31
Mike
Yeah. It wasn't, if he can do it, I can do it. It was, is he's doing it. I can do it too. Yeah, definitely. Um, yeah, it's,
01:21:02.55
Mike
I think it's important to see people with quality sobriety. Absolutely. You know, um, ah it goes back to that lead, you know, the girls up there fucking struggling, man.
01:21:07.58
Bill
Right.
01:21:12.29
Mike
I mean, if I was, if that was my first meeting, um, that shit, I don't know. I mean, I was like straight off the street and checking things out. I'd i'd be like, ah fuck that.
01:21:24.62
Mike
Um,
01:21:24.84
Bill
and that's That's a good point.
01:21:25.71
Mike
Yeah, right. You know, so, um, yeah, I mean, ah being an example is important. Absolutely. Um, showing that it can be done. Absolutely. Those are important things. Um, but you know, I not.
01:21:42.94
Mike
I'm not, you know, look at me. Aren't I **** wonderful? I do. Yeah. No, I'm I'm just doing it, man. It's it's possible to do. Yes, this grumpy old man if you know that straight dude over there looking, you know, tight high haircut. Can do it. Um yeah, absolutely. You know, they're comfortable. They're relatively happy and and they're not **** struggling. You know, they're not fighting anymore. they they've surrendered in there fairly happy.
01:22:13.47
Mike
That's all it fucking Yeah, shit.
01:22:13.49
Bill
Right.
01:22:15.42
Mike
Give me some of that.
01:22:17.70
Bill
Give me some of that. And you know what, here's the thing that I, that I just thought about and just like to kind of backtrack with the whole thing. Like what I mean, and the reason it makes me cringe a little bit in case just for anyone listening, just so I'm explaining myself when, when somebody at their leading a meeting, they're telling their story, doing their share, whatever it is.
01:22:28.77
Mike
Right.
01:22:35.34
Bill
And you know, they tell about the the story of woe and now they've got some time, you know, it doesn't even matter what it is, but they've been sober a bit.
01:22:39.53
Mike
right
01:22:42.19
Bill
And when, when people are up there and they're like, they're like oh yeah and if I can do this anyone can do this. I think I don't like that and the reason I don't is because there's people out there like you said Mike you know people that's just off the streets and this and that maybe you've got some guy or some lady that is just relapsed and relapsed and relapsed and they're like well fuck me you got that something's wrong with me then because i can't do it you know i just did you you just told me my my story but i can't do it you know um so i think it's deflating and i think it's better to say that like we you know i was thinking about it as you were just saying that that the guys that we
01:23:02.82
Mike
the
01:23:06.22
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
01:23:20.57
Bill
that we were able to, you know, again, follow and come across.
01:23:23.28
Mike
who Right.
01:23:24.21
Bill
I don't remember any of them saying that I remember those guys just, they they just showed us, you know, they that this is what we do is kind of like, you know, putting their arms around us going here, I'm going to show you what we do, you know, and it's the same thing that goes back to nobody ever saying to us that you're never going to drink again, we're going to teach you why you won't have to, you know,
01:23:28.73
Mike
Right.
01:23:32.93
Mike
Right.
01:23:41.85
Mike
right Right. Right.
01:23:44.46
Bill
Um, and Joe with the whole cake recipe, you know, he didn't just, nobody fucking threw a box of cake at us and hit us in the head and says, make a fucking cake.
01:23:46.15
Mike
Right.
01:23:52.85
Mike
right
01:23:53.31
Bill
You know, they're like, yeah, you got to follow the recipe, but we're going to walk through this. We're going to read all these pages.
01:23:56.49
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:23:57.77
Bill
We're going to walk through this recipe.
01:23:57.87
Mike
Right.
01:23:58.93
Bill
We're going to make this cake in 164 pages. And then you're going to know how to make a fucking cake, but you're still going to have to refer to the directions.
01:24:05.03
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you're still going to have to crack the eggs and stir the shit in and and right.
01:24:11.92
Bill
Yeah. Do the work.
01:24:12.41
Mike
Yeah.
01:24:13.06
Bill
Yeah.
01:24:13.25
Mike
Yep, exactly.
01:24:14.39
Bill
Do the fucking work.
01:24:15.63
Mike
and Do that goddamn work.
01:24:17.85
Bill
Don't be so fucking lazy, do the work. That that meme that meme came up but recently and I forgot to copy it down again. I was gonna post that again. i got some I got some fucking haters a year ago or whenever it was when I posted that, people were like, does fucking rude.
01:24:27.98
Mike
Hmm.
01:24:30.91
Bill
And I'm like, fuck you. you know That's rude.
01:24:32.37
Mike
Yep.
01:24:33.35
Bill
I didn't say that, but I mean, yeah you wanna hear rude.
01:24:35.66
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:24:35.83
Bill
But no, it is. Don't be fucking lazy, do the work. It's just like anything else.
01:24:38.23
Mike
Yeah.
01:24:38.79
Bill
you know if you're If shit isn't going right, then you know what are you doing? you know
01:24:43.37
Mike
Right. Yeah.
01:24:44.70
Bill
And that's, it's not being mean.
01:24:45.60
Mike
Walk in the other direction and slow the fuck down.
01:24:48.92
Bill
Yeah, exactly.
01:24:50.01
Mike
Do it correctly.
01:24:50.25
Bill
It's not being, it's not being mean telling somebody to do the fucking work. I mean, that's how you, it doesn't with anything, you know, from, from elementary school all the way through, you know, the, whatever fucking job you have, if you don't do the work, you're not going to get the result.
01:24:54.60
Mike
No. Mhmm.
01:25:01.94
Mike
Right.
01:25:04.07
Bill
It doesn't fucking matter.
01:25:04.47
Mike
Yeah.
01:25:05.03
Bill
It just doesn't matter.
01:25:06.49
Mike
It doesn't matter. Right. You don't do the work. You're not getting the paycheck.
01:25:10.94
Bill
Right, exactly. or the Yeah, you'rere you're not getting the pay. You're not getting the end result there. So fuck y'all, don't do the work. So real quick, you want to hear, we since we've been speaking about old men stuff, and I wrote this down because it just made me laugh. um So i you know, I'm kind of a chapstick fiend. I always have chapstick with me and blah, blah, blah. So I was working the other day, a couple of days ago, I think.
01:25:37.35
Bill
And you know, I've got where my usually my my desk is against against the wall. But when I'm when I'm working, I turn it around a little bit. So I got my again, monitors and stuff with a little thing. I need more room. So I've got to turn the other way. So everything my desk is on a face and a window. So facing and where the dresser is, this big dresser in here. And I don't know what it was, i whether I was i while I was working, get up for a break, a back for a break, whatever. And I took my chapstick out of my pocket, took the top off.
01:26:06.18
Bill
And the top slipped out of my hand and it, you know, it's like bounce, bounce, bounce hits my desk, bounce, bounce on the floor. And then it starts rolling and I hear it roll and then you can hear it hit something and I'm like, Oh,
01:26:20.28
Bill
I'm like, that just went all the way to the back of the, back of the fucking dresser on the floor, didn't it?
01:26:24.67
Mike
Uh huh.
01:26:25.18
Bill
I'm just like, geez fucking Christ. So, and again, here's me, you know, fucking old guy. I'm like, oh God. I already want to go down on my fucking knees to look where it is, right?
01:26:33.76
Mike
Right.
01:26:34.16
Bill
So, and I got to move my desk a little bit and, you know, cause I got all my shit there. So I move my desk and I look, I can't even see it.
01:26:38.63
Mike
Uh
01:26:39.85
Bill
ah I gotta grab my phone.
01:26:42.19
Mike
huh.
01:26:42.30
Bill
I gotta turn my light on and I can see it. I'm about to, I try to reach under it a little bit. I'm like, I would have to move this, reach down, lay down, stretch out. I'm like, fuck this. I took my chapstick, I threw in the garbage and I grabbed the new one.
01:26:56.21
Mike
Yup.
01:26:57.24
Bill
but I'm like, I don't need the cap. and Whatever the chapstick probably, I think I just, and was it wasn't even, I don't know, a week old or whatever it is. I don't give a fuck.
01:27:05.25
Mike
Right. Right.
01:27:06.21
Bill
I just threw it out. because Yeah.
01:27:07.69
Mike
Buck and a half. It's worth it to just throw that fucking shit away, then get down on the floor. I'm with you.
01:27:14.73
Bill
Yeah. And you know what? Um, I'm, I've, I've got enough success in my life where I could buy, I can buy three chapsticks at a time, you know, in the pack and I know.
01:27:23.15
Mike
Yep. Ooh, look out.
01:27:25.43
Bill
Yeah. I'm big time in it, I'm big time in it now. I ain't gonna live that way anymore where I run out of Chapstick, you know?
01:27:30.66
Mike
I could buy me a three pack.
01:27:33.79
Bill
So for any of you out there, if you're new. but but
01:27:36.93
Mike
yeah
01:27:38.03
Bill
At 14 plus years, you can buy yourself a three-pack of ChapStick.
01:27:42.03
Mike
Nice.
01:27:42.08
Bill
But but no, seriously, you know i mean I always have. i Worst case, I knew I would have had one. I always have a backup.
01:27:47.63
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:27:47.84
Bill
you know um and i've I've been out someplace, and i've if I've lost or whatever, if I'm stopping at a gas station, I have to buy one.
01:27:53.72
Mike
Sure.
01:27:53.80
Bill
But if I'm many anywhere around, I got my whole duffel bag with my like medicine cabinet in it.
01:27:58.31
Mike
Yeah, right.
01:27:59.30
Bill
um But yes, literally as I it is I do it. I'm like man. I gotta write this down This is this is good old guys shit, you know because literally it's just like I'm not even fucking trying now And I mean, what am I gonna do put chapstick in my pocket with no top on it?
01:28:12.63
Mike
Right.
01:28:12.95
Bill
I'm gonna put chapstick God fucking lint and God only knows what's you know, I I've got clean pants on but still Yeah,
01:28:16.66
Mike
Yeah. ah Sure. Right. Well, yeah, I go get a baggie and put the chapstick in the baggie and then put the baggie and you're probably right.
01:28:24.63
Bill
fuck that
01:28:26.19
Mike
Yeah. A dollar and a half. I'm getting another one.
01:28:29.07
Bill
ah
01:28:29.17
Mike
I bought a three pack.
01:28:29.52
Bill
yeah
01:28:30.59
Mike
I got two left.
01:28:32.00
Bill
Well, and here here's how here's how large I'm living, okay?
01:28:35.89
Mike
All right.
01:28:36.13
Bill
I didn't even pay attention to how much I paid for the three-pack. I have no idea, no idea.
01:28:40.59
Mike
Ooh.
01:28:41.48
Bill
I'm just like, I'm getting me that three-pack. Yeah, yeah, I just bought it.
01:28:43.90
Mike
a
01:28:46.67
Bill
yeah Didn't have have to ask the price. I'm just buying it, bitches.
01:28:51.01
Mike
That's right.
01:28:53.56
Bill
Living large. I got a three-pack of Chapstick.
01:28:58.76
Bill
Oh, well. um I don't know. You got anything else?
01:29:00.96
Mike
right
01:29:01.12
Bill
like Oh, you got anything else?
01:29:02.74
Mike
That's it. Oh, hell no, man. I mean, do you want an example of how this thing works? There it is.
01:29:10.81
Bill
Wait, the fact that I could throw away a Chapstick?
01:29:13.19
Mike
Yup.
01:29:14.64
Bill
Okay. All right. Yeah. Living large life on that's life on life's terms right there. Write that down people. All right, man. I think we're done. So I guess it's your turn.
01:29:28.19
Mike
All right.
01:29:28.29
Bill
ah
01:29:28.91
Mike
Well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of sober, not mature. As always be kind to each other, be good to each other, go out and do something nice for somebody else this week.
01:29:40.07
Mike
And don't tell anybody you did it. Live loud with those chapsticks. All right. Now from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time till the ends of the earth, always and eternally, fuck you.
01:29:57.66
Mike
And now it's time, kids. It's time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign out it saying, you cannot fuck off past here. Climb over that gate. Dream the impossible dream and keep fucking off forever.
01:30:21.72
Bill
i was I was taking a drink of coffee when you said, live large in the chapsticks.
01:30:26.43
Mike
a
01:30:27.04
Bill
I just started laughing. I almost spit my fucking coffee out. I'm like, you bastard.
01:30:29.98
Mike
Nice.
01:30:30.81
Bill
You fucking bastard.
01:30:30.89
Mike
Yup. he
01:30:32.67
Bill
But yeah, that' that's me. That's me living large in my chapsticks. so But um all right, yeah. You know what? this I got to say this ah with all sincerity, this is a fucking good work tonight.
01:30:44.38
Mike
this is
01:30:46.96
Bill
yeah
01:30:46.98
Mike
it was something
01:30:47.74
Bill
It was something, yeah. Anyone out there too, go on alcoholfree.com and read the, look up our podcast, just Google search sober, not mature, alcoholfree.com.
01:31:04.46
Bill
If you ever wanted to get a laugh, because there's these, every episode it's based on my description a little bit, because they pull from that, but it's always an AI description of how our episode is. Mike and I are always referred to as humorous.
01:31:17.74
Bill
you know whatever you want to get the syria yeah i don't know i think the word was used in there at least once it just fucking makes me laugh every it's usually by sunday or monday of every week by the time i uh you know by the time the episode is put up there and especially if the transcript is up there sometimes i'll pull it a little bit more but anyhow it just it cracks me up because it's always like
01:31:20.44
Mike
Jovial God
01:31:38.85
Bill
If you want to see the laughter and the serious side, they talked about this, got serious about that. Oh, by the way, that an episode a few weeks ago, talked about you and your ex-wife and how important your your family was at Thanksgiving or whatever.
01:31:50.26
Bill
there was the they missed it It was me when I was talking about Don and Corey's house.
01:31:51.77
Mike
What?
01:31:55.25
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:31:55.58
Bill
but They somehow, they're like, oh yeah, Mike talked about is his family when he was visiting.
01:31:58.20
Mike
Ah. a and All right.
01:32:00.17
Bill
And I'm like, like yeah okay, somebody gets credit for you know for for that family. I'll let Don know that it was Mike. but
01:32:05.83
Mike
Yeah, well.
01:32:08.21
Bill
But yeah, anyhow, it's just, if anyone wants to get a good laugh, it just makes me fucking, I look so forward to it. It's like watching a, I don't know, reading a new little joke every every week. It just cracks me up, but yeah.
01:32:17.41
Mike
Nice. So it's yeah. So AI is not perfect. Is that what you're saying? And we still have a chance as humans to do something with this world.
01:32:26.17
Bill
Yeah, I mean, not perfect, but I'll tell you what, they do a nice job. It just makes me laugh because they put us in such a good light and that's number one.
01:32:31.58
Mike
All right.
01:32:36.39
Bill
That's number one. But then just, yeah, they just refer to us all the time, joking and laughing and humor, which it is. I mean, that's kind of what we do, but it's just funny to me. I don't know. I would never describe either one of us as they describe us.
01:32:49.41
Bill
It just seems to, I don't know, too fucking hokey.
01:32:49.51
Mike
Right. this is Jovial.
01:32:55.01
Bill
jovial hey all right so um other than that um i uh yeah i love you brother and we'll talk soon all right man bye
01:32:59.80
Mike
I love you too. We shall. Bye.
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