SoberNotMature - Episode 150 (Serenity NOW!)

00:00:01.18
Bill
all right everyone welcome once again to another episode of sober not mature and mike would you like to get this year started off right with the first f-word i figured you'd i figured you want to i thought about i was going to say happy happy fucking new year and i'm like you know what no i i talk enough you know so i'll give you the opportunity to get the first f-word at 225 so

00:00:12.44
Mike
Fuck no. ah I appreciate that. God, that sounds weird.

00:00:27.86
Bill
Yeah, doesn't it? And it's, ah it's kind of funny because usually, yeah I mean, I don't necessarily write down a date very much, but I mean, I'm in my computer a lot.

00:00:33.55
Mike
All right.

00:00:36.30
Bill
In these emails that we send, we've got to give dates like, I call it deadline dates and stuff like that.

00:00:40.03
Mike
Sure.

00:00:40.99
Bill
And, you know, I mean, it's only been, it's only been a few days or a couple of days that I've been actually back to work, you know.

00:00:45.59
Mike
right

00:00:46.04
Bill
Um, and I haven't messed up yet, so I was kind of proud of myself.

00:00:46.63
Mike
Right.

00:00:48.92
Bill
The funny part was, is like over the last, I don't know, six months for some stupid reason I kept in these callback dates, I kept putting 2020 and I'm like be whatever, whatever 20.

00:00:57.79
Mike
Hmm.

00:00:59.09
Bill
I'm like, what the fuck's wrong with me? You know?

00:01:00.68
Mike
Well, dude, it's only an hour and a half, man.

00:01:05.29
Bill
Right. Yeah. Time, time to make a list. Well, we don't have to, we don't have that kind of time, but uh, but yeah, so it's a, it's a brand new year, brand new year, brand new us, right? Same old.

00:01:13.63
Mike
My, yeah, sure. Right. New year, new calendar.

00:01:16.71
Bill
Right. Exactly. Yeah, and I found i obviously follow a couple of my posts to talk about that the New Year's resolutions and don't mean anything and blah, blah, blah, and make a change on a day.

00:01:27.35
Mike
okay

00:01:28.14
Bill
And because really, I mean, it's ah we've we've talked about that. We talked about that last episode. So we don't need to need to beat that dead horse. But the main point is that you and I, we do not make New Year's resolutions, right?

00:01:35.21
Mike
Nope. Nope.

00:01:39.75
Bill
And this this thing, if this thing changes, this thing meeting the podcast, it has nothing to do with the fact that it's it's a new calendar just because we feel like fucking doing it.

00:01:49.62
Mike
Right, and then it won't, so.

00:01:52.38
Bill
Right. Yeah. And you know if again, if it if it does, it's just going to be inadvertent.

00:01:54.26
Mike
Never fear.

00:01:57.11
Bill
now what it And change doesn't necessarily have to be a good thing.

00:01:57.66
Mike
Well, yeah.

00:02:01.99
Mike
Right.

00:02:03.06
Bill
yeah we We could have changes in here that we're like, oh, that that kind of that's kind of fucked up. But you know new year, new fucked up this same old shit different year.

00:02:10.82
Mike
Right. Same old shit.

00:02:13.86
Bill
So um we'll talk about your weather situation, because it wasn't even occurring to me that you guys might be getting snow. But we'll we'll talk about that.

00:02:20.84
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:02:20.96
Bill
and i got dumb I've actually got a couple of things. i Do I have news stories? I think I have a couple of things. I started listening to the um Alex Van Halen book, so I got ah actually a few things on the Van Halen side of things.

00:02:29.61
Mike
Ah.

00:02:31.71
Bill
But yeah, some other other things.

00:02:32.11
Mike
Cool.

00:02:33.77
Bill
Oh, um I've got a thing on Monica Lewinsky, too.

00:02:36.54
Mike
Hmm.

00:02:36.98
Bill
if ah People can start Googling that while you're listening to the reading.

00:02:40.79
Mike
You kids.

00:02:41.04
Bill
But yeah, yeah you kids, if you have no idea who that cockx well i' who Monica Lewinsky is, but we'll we'll get to it. so

00:02:49.83
Mike
All right.

00:02:51.33
Bill
All right, so um are we we changed in the format for the new year? We're not doing readings anymore. Isn't that what you said? Well, fuck everyone. And is that what you said?

00:02:59.45
Mike
Well, I said the second half of that i on a daily basis and definitely today, but, uh, no, the first part is incorrect, sir.

00:03:09.79
Bill
I know, because the reading part, the reading parts, the that's the fun part of this podcast. The rest is just fucking nonsense.

00:03:15.32
Mike
Right. Yeah. Well, it's the sobriety part anyway. So, um,

00:03:18.49
Bill
Right. Yeah, we we at least live up to our name. where're we're like It's almost like ah you know punching punching our sober card as we get into this. We talked about, we know every week we're gonna talk about something, at least something sobriety related, so.

00:03:28.76
Mike
Hmm. Right. We will. Right. And and generally a few things.

00:03:34.59
Bill
Right.

00:03:35.20
Mike
Right, anyway, um yes, we have a reading. ah um And it was today's, God grant me, I liked it, and I went, ah, what the hell, we'll do that one tonight.

00:03:42.39
Bill
Nice.

00:03:44.90
Mike
So here we go.

00:03:45.36
Bill
Nope.

00:03:46.90
Mike
ah January 3rd, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, dot, dot, dot. ah Reinhold Niebauer, Nieber, Burr, Burr, I'm assuming German.

00:04:01.97
Mike
ah The guy that wrote the serenity prayer. Alright, the Serenity Prayer starts by having us ask our higher power to grant serenity that leads to acceptance of the unchangeable.

00:04:16.30
Mike
We reach out, we let our higher power put an end to our struggle. As using addicts, we refuse to accept our illness. We struggled against the chains that we could not remove. The good thing about acceptance is that it saves energy. When we accept our illness, energy that went into our illness and defenses is freed up to be used for our recovery and our healing.

00:04:44.90
Mike
Prayer is always about reaching outside of ourselves, about stepping outside of our egos, our instincts, our all-consuming troubles. The Serenity Prayer is about us reaching out to our higher powers, peace, grace, and healing. Prayer for the day, speaking of which, higher power. susan Touch me with your peace and grace.

00:05:10.78
Mike
Help me to accept my illness and the things that I can't change. Please use the energy that acceptance frees up to help be the person I want, you want me to be. Today's action, those pesky actions.

00:05:28.87
Mike
Today, I will make a list of all the things I am now struggling struggling against, like speaking, that I can't change. Throughout the day, I will ask my higher power to help me accept the things I can't change.

00:05:44.14
Bill
First of all, yeah I was um not only laughing at the, you're like, oh, reach out and touch me.

00:05:52.84
Mike
Yep.

00:05:54.91
Bill
But you you were sitting there, you it was hard for you to kind of keep a straight face and straight voice while you were reading all that stuff.

00:05:59.22
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:06:00.94
Bill
I'm giggling over here about, yeah, thinking thinking about, God, I think I'm gonna, the next woman in my life, I'm gonna call her higher power and say, hey, touch me.

00:06:07.08
Mike
Mm. Can you show me on the doll where the higher power touched you?

00:06:13.37
Bill
Ah, my peace and serenity.

00:06:15.28
Mike
Mm.

00:06:15.64
Bill
Show me some grace.

00:06:17.08
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:06:17.24
Bill
Boom.

00:06:19.90
Bill
All right. So the the last part, and you know what? um ah Obviously, well, not obviously, but I did. I read that this morning as as part of my string of readings.

00:06:25.54
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

00:06:28.04
Bill
And I thought about that, that last part I was going to, and I don't think I, maybe ah no I don't think I did, but that last part, I was thinking about the whole struggling thing and blah, blah, blah.

00:06:34.27
Mike
Hmm.

00:06:37.07
Bill
I'm like, did we talk about that last year?

00:06:37.64
Mike
Right.

00:06:38.67
Bill
And then kind of like, ah I'm sure we got plenty to talk about, but um Now we do so the read that again is it sit says things that we're struggling with or struggling against or how did that how did that read again?

00:06:43.93
Mike
Right. Uh, what the action.

00:06:50.94
Bill
Yeah, the last part of it There you go So um and I do I think we talked about this

00:06:52.52
Mike
Uh, throughout the day, I will ask my higher power to help me accept the things I can't change. Um, uh, let's see. Uh, the whole thing is, uh, today I will make a list of things I am now struggling against that I can't change. Mm-hmm.

00:07:10.60
Bill
last year, but um I guess let's, again, start there with the start there with the end.

00:07:15.90
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:07:16.19
Bill
Is there anything right now that that you think that you're that you're struggling against?

00:07:21.21
Mike
You know, when I read that this morning, I smiled to myself and said, ha ha, I don't have to make a list. Uh, right again. Yeah. Um, acceptance. Uh, I, no, sir died I don't do that anymore, which is a beautiful thing. Um, I seriously don't, I don't.

00:07:43.98
Mike
I don't, I don't fight fucking anything that I can't change. Um, you know, the serenity prayer, you know, I mean, literally, unless I'm reading it out of one of these books, um, I say it once a week when I met my home group, um, at the, you know, the beginning of the lead, cause they say, will you please join me?

00:08:02.50
Bill
right

00:08:04.53
Mike
Um,

00:08:05.02
Bill
And you're like, okay, I think I will.

00:08:06.98
Mike
I believe I shall. ah But yeah, but, um, where I was going with that was the the Serenity prayer. It's been said so many times over the past 14 plus years, um, in different ways and different that it's, it's just part of my life, man. Um,

00:08:27.38
Mike
you know I don't. you know i've still I still have to work on the stuff you know that that I can change. all that's That's always the the difficult part of it. you know Give me the strength to fucking change the shit I can. um you know And the wisdom to know the difference, again, that's that's pretty easy too. I know the stuff that I can't change and I don't fight against it anymore. I go, well, there's something I can't fucking do anything about. Moving on.

00:08:55.61
Mike
yeah And it's it's beautiful, man. I again, wasting energy.

00:08:58.71
Bill
Right.

00:09:00.25
Mike
We talk about that all the time, man burning calories on shit that doesn't mean anything. oh You know, i'm I got a birthday coming up here in a month and a half or so.

00:09:10.49
Mike
I'm fucking old and feeling it and it's cold today. And so I'm feeling it in my bones. And I'm just like, fuck, man. It's you know, the clock is ticking.

00:09:20.85
Mike
I know I don't have a whole ton of time left around here. Uh, and, um, I'm not wasting it. I just can't anymore. I mean, trust me, I waste plenty of time.

00:09:31.51
Mike
Hi, Facebook. Um, but, yeah but yeah, seriously, I mean, I just, I'm not burning calories on shit that, that I'm not going to have an effect on.

00:09:42.92
Mike
I just can't, you know, if there's, but if there's something I can, you bet your ass, I'm gonna, I'm going to do my best to, to make it a little better.

00:09:44.56
Bill
Right.

00:09:52.76
Bill
Well, and I'm gonna disagree with you just on one thing that, ah well, and I think it might be being, and I might even say being hard on yourself, but you talked about you waste a lot of time.

00:09:55.87
Mike
All right.

00:10:00.22
Mike
Hmm.

00:10:03.52
Bill
I disagree with that.

00:10:04.26
Mike
Hmm.

00:10:04.40
Bill
I don't think you waste any time, because you're doing things by choice. You're on Facebook by choice, you're watching a baseball game by choice, or you're sitting on your ass by choice, or you go out to a meeting by choice.

00:10:08.61
Mike
right is Right.

00:10:14.00
Bill
Whatever the case is, that's your, I mean, yes, Facebook and social media occupies a lot of my time.

00:10:14.72
Mike
Right. Right.

00:10:18.98
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:10:20.26
Bill
Instagram mainly, I don't spend a lot of time on Facebook, but it is a choice and there is some sort of gratitude out of it.

00:10:25.13
Mike
Sure.

00:10:26.89
Bill
I don't, you know, nobody's holding a gun to my head or yours, um you know, to the best of my knowledge to make you go on Facebook, you know, so um I don't know.

00:10:29.76
Mike
Right.

00:10:34.61
Bill
i it's ah It's an occupier of time, but you're doing something. If you didn't want to go on Facebook, you wouldn't fucking go on Facebook. if you If you didn't want to celebrate a holiday, you didn't celebrate a holiday.

00:10:41.23
Mike
Right.

00:10:44.78
Bill
so

00:10:45.73
Mike
Most certainly did not.

00:10:47.50
Bill
Right. So I'm just, I'm giving you a little bit of, I'm giving you a little bit of grace and credit there saying that I don't think you're wasting time.

00:10:49.53
Mike
All right.

00:10:52.70
Bill
You're, you're making a choice.

00:10:54.15
Mike
Right.

00:10:54.29
Bill
Um, you know, but the, yeah. And when I thought about the struggling thing, you know, first thing I always think about, I'm like, okay, from work and, you know, working, I got to work for my money and this and that, you know, and, and it's not just going in and punching a clock grant that I talked about it.

00:11:05.97
Bill
You know, I do, I have the opportunity earn, blah, blah, blah. If, um, if months have been slow in December, again, was a slow month, slower than, than they have been, but, Um, once again, did I, I, I asked myself this all the time, even though I'm frustrated with it and I'm going to, I'm getting a less of a commission check.

00:11:22.78
Bill
I can still afford things. It puts it, tightens things up and all those things, but you know, that is something that, um, I mean, I can, I can change to an extent, but I can also stay consistent.

00:11:27.47
Mike
Mhmm.

00:11:33.21
Bill
You know, am I fucking around?

00:11:34.04
Mike
Right.

00:11:35.36
Bill
No. Am I at work every day with the exception of days that I choose to take off and you know, I've given those days off.

00:11:36.34
Mike
Hmm.

00:11:39.50
Mike
Right.

00:11:40.89
Bill
I don't call in second. I'll do all these things. I don't fuck around, you know, so.

00:11:42.85
Mike
Right.

00:11:45.46
Bill
Um, you know, the, if I, if I struggle with that, those are things that I can work on. So yeah, I mean, that's a struggle, but to your point, and I think the whole point, well, the whole point of the serenity prayer is being able to recognize that if there's something out there in the universe or whatever, or other fucking people, you know, that are being a-holes or this and that, I mean, we can't, you know, people, places, and things, I can't change them, you know?

00:12:05.50
Mike
Right. Oh, clearly. Well, yeah, clearly. I mean, right. But that's the whole point of it is, is struggling.

00:12:10.81
Bill
Right.

00:12:12.62
Mike
Yeah. We struggle. We struggle with shit work and and whatever. But again, the wisdom to know the fucking difference. Yeah.

00:12:18.58
Bill
that Right.

00:12:18.76
Mike
There's nothing wrong with struggling, but struggling against things that we can't change is ridiculous.

00:12:24.48
Bill
Correct. Yeah, and it and it is like you said it's I mean I agree with you wholeheartedly there's a, there's such a ah piece, um you know, behind all of that and it even take a look at the you know the last six months with the whole, you know, I mean,

00:12:26.44
Mike
Yeah.

00:12:34.74
Mike
Hmm.

00:12:39.46
Bill
By no means am I gonna get into a political discussion, but politics, think about how how much that fucked up people.

00:12:42.31
Mike
Hmm.

00:12:44.74
Bill
you know it It fucked up people and divided people, and you know people literally had sleepless nights and anxiety and all those different things.

00:12:45.36
Mike
Oh, I know.

00:12:48.15
Mike
Mm hmm. is

00:12:52.57
Bill
And you know what? um you know We talked about it. i mean it's those A lot of those things either haven't happened yet, or there's always a yet, ah may never happen, so why now worry about it?

00:12:58.09
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

00:13:02.05
Bill
but But on top of that, it's just that we're just these little,

00:13:02.56
Mike
Right.

00:13:06.11
Bill
these little you know pegs in this in this whole thing and these you know these fucking leaders and politics and bosses and managers and whatever the case is, I mean, it just, people are gonna be people.

00:13:13.25
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:13:16.97
Mike
Right.

00:13:17.02
Bill
And um I mean, I don't wanna lose fucking sleep over some some fucking knob in a capital building. you know I just, I don't.

00:13:23.02
Mike
Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Some, some idiot. And most of them are. That's pretty safe.

00:13:29.81
Bill
Right.

00:13:31.05
Mike
A description of pretty much all of them.

00:13:34.19
Bill
right

00:13:34.35
Mike
Um, right. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to yeah exactly. I mean, I mean, I posted. Um, you know, the first time around for this guy, um, you know, not one way or another, but I just said, look, man, you know, whoever in the oval office does not affect my day to day life. I don't care if they're Republican Democrat, it doesn't fucking matter. Doesn't affect my life day to day. It really doesn't. And if it does affect my life.

00:14:04.25
Mike
that I'm giving them way too much power and way too much credit. And and yeah, you know I mean, I wake up in the morning, doesn't matter who's there, doesn't affect me. you know I walk out my door, doesn't matter who's there, doesn't affect me. I do what I do. I do what I'm supposed to do and I don't care who the fuck in there. If this country gets taken over by the Chinese, man, I'm still gonna do what I need to do. It's not gonna be as much fun.

00:14:33.12
Mike
Or maybe it'll be more fun. How the fuck do I know?

00:14:35.82
Bill
Yeah, really.

00:14:36.03
Mike
Never been to China.

00:14:39.39
Bill
Yeah, who knows who knows how that now that is but but yeah the whole the whole struggling thing like you said the, the amount of peace that comes out of, um you know, not struggling over again those things that we can change in the serenity prayer, you know, I i say it.

00:14:40.52
Mike
Right. Right.

00:14:50.14
Mike
Right.

00:14:52.44
Bill
um I actually say it twice a day. It's part of my, it's the like i have little one part of my prayers and the actual prayer prayer, my part of my prayers, whatever.

00:14:54.93
Mike
Huh?

00:15:01.43
Bill
you It doesn't matter.

00:15:01.46
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:15:02.85
Bill
It's twice and twice a day. I end up, I end up saying it and I've i' done it for years.

00:15:04.60
Mike
yeah Cool.

00:15:07.08
Bill
It just, however I got to it, I've done it for years.

00:15:07.51
Mike
Right.

00:15:10.12
Bill
You know, but it's funny though that like, like I said before, when, whether it's the readings or, you know, my morning prayers or, you know, the, I say a little set of prayers at night, you know, obviously before I go to bed, um sometimes it is, it's, it is just kind of going through the motions type of thing.

00:15:23.22
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:15:23.83
Bill
So every once in a while I do, I, I try to slow down a little bit and, you know, kind of pay attention because the words of the Serenity Prayer, we, like you said, I mean, how many times have we said it in the last 14, you know, almost 15 years?

00:15:35.17
Mike
Right.

00:15:35.58
Bill
um I don't want to say it loses its meaning, but it just becomes part of, it just, their words,

00:15:37.97
Mike
Hmm. Right.

00:15:40.20
Bill
But you don't really, when you take a look at it, it's like, oh, okay, I i see. i see what you I see what you're getting at there. I see where you're coming from.

00:15:46.51
Mike
Right. I'll pick it up when you put down.

00:15:49.09
Bill
But it's ah that's what I was thinking of. I couldn't think of the words speaking of. um you know But the couple of things that I wrote down, it said acceptance of the unchangeable.

00:15:58.50
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:15:59.47
Bill
Obviously, we were talking about that.

00:16:01.33
Mike
Right.

00:16:01.41
Bill
Um, during our activeness, refusing to accept our illness. And I mean, I, I just was fucking clueless.

00:16:05.76
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:16:07.44
Bill
I, you know, fucking writing all over the goddamn walls and in my face and literally written on the inside of my eyeballs that I couldn't see it.

00:16:15.37
Mike
Right.

00:16:16.23
Bill
Um, but acceptance saves energy. That's the one that I like that one.

00:16:18.74
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:16:20.56
Bill
Um, you know, it, it saves energy, which is kind of what you were talking about, right?

00:16:20.68
Mike
Yeah.

00:16:24.51
Bill
As far as saving energy.

00:16:25.56
Mike
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Again, you know, these batteries are getting low, man.

00:16:33.38
Mike
I'm not, uh, yeah, I'm not burning the shit on, on, on nonsense anymore. I just, I can't, um, I don't have it. And so, right. I, you know, what little I have left, I want to make sure it counts and make sure it, it goes again towards the good, you know, the light side of the force.

00:16:51.58
Bill
Right.

00:16:54.83
Bill
Yeah, and it's, it is. I mean, it's, it's kind of, it's kind of funny. um I was going to say sad, but not really. It just, it happens with age. I mean, you know, we, you know, with age you know comes a certain amount of wisdom and obviously with sobriety comes a little bit of wisdom, I hope and think, and you know, just the, the, the things that I appreciate and and i and I know you too, the things that you appreciate these days versus whether it's, you know, 15 years ago or, you know, 40 years ago,

00:17:07.81
Mike
who Right.

00:17:19.78
Bill
um I mean, what a what a huge difference, you know, and really um i just enjoying the little things and enjoying that that little piece of mind. And, um you know, we've talked about, you know, again, that that the simple things like, ooh, that fucking moon and all those sort of things.

00:17:32.98
Bill
But even just in general, you know, just enjoying time with with people when we want to be around people.

00:17:38.42
Mike
Right.

00:17:39.96
Bill
Or, you know, like we talked about, I don't know, a handful of months ago, being comfortable just sitting by ourselves, you know, which is, again, like you said, I mean, it's a, I think at that time, you're like, wow, never talked about that.

00:17:50.48
Mike
Yeah.

00:17:51.60
Bill
What a terrible existence, not being able to sit by yourself. But I mean, how many years, how many years did we do that, you know?

00:17:54.48
Mike
yeah Right. Yeah. Without, yeah. Right. Without the help of some sort of chemical to make it bearable.

00:18:02.24
Bill
Right.

00:18:03.64
Mike
Right.

00:18:03.81
Bill
Yeah.

00:18:04.04
Mike
Exactly. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, I loved being by myself. I still do, but yeah, I needed, I couldn't do it. Yeah. Just me, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't an option. I needed to medicate myself one way or another.

00:18:17.01
Mike
And, um, no, not anymore, man. No, I'm just, I'm cool.

00:18:20.88
Bill
Right. And you know, I mean, I do, i'm I'm all about, you know, but I mean, for the, for the most part of it, I sit down at night and I don't necessarily just, you know, sit perfectly straight with my, you know, with my hands crossed and, you know, kind of folded together or just sit in complete silence.

00:18:35.39
Mike
No.

00:18:35.58
Bill
um You know, but, you know, at night, once I'm done, you know, watching TV, this and that, brush my teeth, take my contacts out, I mean, yeah, I'm scrolling through.

00:18:39.59
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:18:43.29
Bill
you know, ah Facebook or Instagram or whatever. But um I just I enjoy that quietness. I mean, yeah, I've got a screen in front of me. um But there is there's that point of that quietness. And then, you know, doing my 10 step and doing that sort of thing that may be, ah you know, if five or 10 minutes, you know, but um that time like that, just that just that quietness, it's, um it's it is it's a it's a gift.

00:18:57.78
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:19:04.38
Bill
It's great. It's wonderful. It's peaceful, you know,

00:19:06.89
Mike
Mm-hmm. Absolutely right. I mean, well, you know once a month I go and put myself in a tank where there's absolutely nothing going on That's fucking great.

00:19:17.64
Mike
There's no way in hell.

00:19:17.74
Bill
Right?

00:19:18.48
Mike
I could have done that 15 years ago Right

00:19:21.55
Bill
Yeah, well, and when i ah when I go on these you know these walks and these hikes and stuff like that, I mean, unless I happen to be with somebody, I mean, I don't take um i don't take headphones. I don't take anything with me. I just i just walk in.

00:19:32.02
Bill
you know I mean, yeah, um um it's not like I'm completely trying to void my mind of any thought. I mean, I'll think about everything.

00:19:37.69
Mike
Hmm.

00:19:38.65
Bill
I'll think about good.

00:19:38.73
Mike
Right.

00:19:39.86
Bill
I'll think about... you know But even if I'm thinking about a stressful thing, like if something weird is going on, in my life, which is rare or you think about some, you know, whatever work stuff or whatever the case may be.

00:19:50.27
Bill
It doesn't stress me out because I mean, I'm, I'm out there. I'm just enjoying shit. it's It's the sights and the sounds, but I specifically don't, I never thought it never crossed my mind, you know, to take my, to take headphones with me, you know, or earbuds or whatever, just never, never even occurred to me.

00:20:02.01
Mike
Right. Right. Right. Yeah, exactly.

00:20:08.21
Bill
Which is, you know again, it's I was i was never it never like, well, I didn't want to walk in the fucking woods, let alone went low walk in the woods and and not not listen to anything.

00:20:14.17
Mike
Right.

00:20:18.51
Bill
you know

00:20:19.08
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Well, it's a little tough to take a couple mile hike when you're dragging a cooler behind you.

00:20:24.86
Bill
Well, you know what, I told you about that guy.

00:20:25.83
Mike
he

00:20:26.58
Bill
And when I was in the, where was I? ah that was it Yeah, I was in Lake of the Ozarks when um that older guy, they kind of, you know, passed me on the trail while I was taken taking pictures.

00:20:31.08
Mike
Right.

00:20:35.43
Bill
And then when i you know when I caught up to him, he was sitting down at one of the steps. He was going down to another part of the trail and, um you know, had his, literally his, you know, plastic pint of, um maybe it was filled with water, but I doubt it.

00:20:47.24
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:20:48.70
Bill
looked like ah look like a pint of vodka and he he was out there, you know, having he his fucking drinks while he's hiking.

00:20:50.86
Mike
Right.

00:20:53.76
Bill
And I'm like, I mean, I kind of, I laugh because I'm like, yeah, why I mean, I would have, why if I chose to walk in the woods at that time, I would have had something to drink with me.

00:20:58.31
Mike
Right. Of course.

00:21:01.96
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:21:04.28
Bill
Why wouldn't I?

00:21:04.65
Mike
Right.

00:21:05.33
Bill
You know?

00:21:05.41
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Something to smoke. Right. Yup.

00:21:09.16
Bill
Yeah, I wouldn't have gone, I wouldn't have gone um empty handed without some sort of substance to abuse. That's for damn sure.

00:21:16.83
Mike
Right.

00:21:18.17
Bill
But, um, so anyhow, I mean, I liked that reading, but oh, real quick, I guess back to the whole serenity prayer thing. And I know you said the once a week thing. Did you, did you lean on that more in early recovery?

00:21:28.43
Mike
Oh, absolutely. I mean, yeah, there's the point I was kind of make is, you know, I mean, i I have said it so many times, it's just kind of part of me.

00:21:36.23
Bill
Right.

00:21:36.25
Mike
I mean, it's just, it's, It's become kind of the way I think about everything, you know, those those, those three lines basically. Um, yeah, that's, that's my, the way I work these days, you know, except the things that I can't change, change the things I fucking can and know the goddamn difference between the two, you know?

00:21:59.66
Mike
And if you're doing that and you're doing it properly, shit, man, life gets pretty fucking good.

00:21:59.83
Bill
And I,

00:22:04.89
Bill
right. and And relatively it's, it it simplifies it too, right? I mean, it doesn't necessarily make things easy.

00:22:09.16
Mike
Right. Exactly.

00:22:11.20
Bill
I was almost said easier, but it does. It simplifies things where it's just hopefully a little bit more black and white than, you know, not this fucking mold up mixed up kaleidoscope of fucking shit.

00:22:24.70
Bill
But um I mean, there was, i can I can't remember what it was. It was a couple of months ago, I was fucking wigged out about something. It was relatively recently, no idea what it was. And I remember wherever I was, I did, I stopped for a minute and did the whole serenity you know prayer thing.

00:22:38.36
Bill
I literally did, I stopped and said it a couple of times.

00:22:41.17
Mike
Right?

00:22:41.35
Bill
And I don't, it wasn't anything major, but it was one of those things where that was my, okay, I need to calm down for a minute. It's, you can take a deep breath and all those sort of things. And I mean, that goes along with it sometimes too.

00:22:50.79
Mike
Sure.

00:22:52.99
Bill
You know, but um I did that of obviously far more, you know, when, when we were like, you know, newly sober, because I mean, everything was fucking me up, you know, I'd go be at work or something.

00:22:55.35
Mike
Mm. Sure.

00:23:02.91
Bill
I don't want to handle something, going to the bathroom. God, God, surrendering, surrendering prayer. But you know what? You say it sometimes, you know, two, three times and it's like, wow, there it goes.

00:23:11.71
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:23:12.76
Bill
It, I get it now, you know, a little bit of ah a calming effect, which is, which is the point.

00:23:14.34
Mike
Yup.

00:23:16.93
Mike
Absolutely.

00:23:18.33
Bill
Absolute point.

00:23:18.43
Mike
Yup. Mm hmm.

00:23:20.28
Bill
All right. So, um, Anything else on on that or?

00:23:24.45
Mike
No, no. oh

00:23:26.80
Bill
No, no, no, no. I don't know that about covers it, but. Oh no, good, good reading. And like I said, I literally, I thought about that, that struggling thing. And I'm like, yeah, I think we talked about that, but I'm glad you brought that up.

00:23:38.02
Bill
I mean, that's a, that's a good, that's a good reading obviously for the, in my opinion for any day, but certainly to start off this wonderful year, right?

00:23:46.35
Mike
Right.

00:23:48.12
Bill
All right. So speaking of that, obviously January, you know, first, first month of the year and, you know, theoretically the, you know, obviously in most, not most, but a lot of the AA groups is when they, you know, kind of lean more on that first step.

00:24:00.06
Bill
um So and i once again, I mean, I know we're not gonna obviously go through the the first step completely, but just to, I don't know. maybe as a rerun for us or even for anyone else.

00:24:11.18
Bill
um Same thing, when when you first came in, and I think we've talked about this, but like you know brand new in the steps, and I know you've been around this thing before, but as you had said openly that you really didn't you know work through everything, you know all that stuff, but um did you have trouble right away um you know committing and believing to the first step?

00:24:20.08
Mike
Mm hmm. No.

00:24:29.75
Bill
And I know this might be a repeat, but I'm gonna ask it anyhow.

00:24:32.47
Mike
Right. I mean, well, you know, um, pretty common to get the first half of the first step, um, down pretty quickly. Yeah. You know, I'm fucking powerless over the substance, man. Your life's all fucked up. Um, yeah right. But the second part, you know, um, your life is unmanageable. Um, yeah, again, you know, kind of,

00:24:57.68
Mike
ah sitting at, you know, the Keating Senator or wherever, or, you know, church basement for the first time. And, you know, you're someplace that clearly you wouldn't be um normally or, you know, by your own choice or what, right. um You know, you go, yeah, ah but, you know, we we forget that that's the the first thing I see.

00:25:23.02
Mike
people losing is the second part of the first step. you know They start managing their own lives and that's where we get fucked up every time. you know i I say it all the time, any chance I get, and I will continue to say it. you know we're We're working on 15 years here. I don't manage my own life.

00:25:42.57
Mike
I don't. ah can't I I've proved that to myself for decades over and over and over again. I can't fucking manage my life. um I need these principles. I need this program. I need the steps. i need I need all this guidance from this thing that we do to manage my life. And if I allow that to happen,

00:26:02.97
Mike
then ah you know my life works out pretty fucking good as I look around my house. um But if I don't, I start doing it my way. My way is to lie, cheat, and steal. My way is to medicate myself. My way is to...

00:26:21.34
Mike
You know, again, yeah, cheat, man, to shooting angles and and trying to get over and and looking for the easier, softer way. And that's that's who I am. And that's who I will always be. And I've got to remember that. You know, I am powerless over that shit. And I have got to remember that I can't manage my life. I never could. I never will.

00:26:44.11
Mike
as long as I allow this other stuff, this program to manage my life, then my life works. You know, if I do it my way, it doesn't.

00:26:55.56
Bill
Right. Yeah. And with, ah ah when I, and well, and I've said it on on here ah enough times, when when I went into the Keating Center was, went there with, you know, skipping in with bells on and all that stuff, which is, um i I had no desire to be there.

00:27:07.91
Mike
yeah

00:27:11.37
Bill
I had no desire to quit drinking. I didn't know what I wanted, but I know I didn't. that wasn't that wasn't forefront in my mind. you know And you know the I know a little bit about the steps and obviously, because my dad and all that stuff, but um it was funny.

00:27:17.92
Mike
Right.

00:27:24.76
Bill
you know And I i've said this, I don't know how many times on here, but I think it's important. you know our Our buddy, Dan, you know who passed away this this past, what was a year? Was that this year? That was this year, wasn't it?

00:27:35.21
Mike
a Last year.

00:27:35.60
Bill
Or last year? God damn, was it? Jesus Christ.

00:27:38.78
Mike
Yeah, 2023.

00:27:40.86
Bill
Jesus, but um yeah, our good friend, Dan, um, used to do group and, um, you know, he, he was talking to us about the, the first step and he goes, you may not, you know, to us as a group, you know, a bunch of people sitting in a fucking classroom all fucked up in the head to begin with.

00:27:43.49
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:27:53.66
Mike
he

00:27:54.54
Bill
And he says that you do not have to believe that you're powerless over alcohol. But he goes, if you're in the Keating center, he goes, your life is unmanageable.

00:27:58.92
Mike
Right. right

00:28:03.35
Bill
And I'm like, fuck me, you know, because I believed him, you know,

00:28:05.46
Mike
he

00:28:08.61
Bill
And I didn't look at it like, yeah, fuck you, dude. What are you talking about? What am I gonna say? you know I mean, it's like, I'm not covered in shit and I'm sitting in a pile of manure. I mean, look, look around you.

00:28:17.13
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

00:28:19.39
Bill
you know but um So that that part of it, i I accepted the second part, I think, before I accepted the first, thanks to Dan.

00:28:26.97
Mike
Mhmm.

00:28:28.39
Bill
And then the powerless part of it just kind of came over, I think, you know again, this this slow progression where, um you know thankfully, like we have talked about, I didn't have the,

00:28:33.78
Mike
Sure.

00:28:38.34
Bill
I didn't have the cravings. I didn't have the desire. I wasn't jumping out of my skin trying to, you know, or wanting to get a drink or anything like that. You know, so that powerlessness, you know, kind of became learned and ingrained and thankfully over time, you know, and now um what I say, it's a it's it's the same, but a little bit different than you.

00:28:48.35
Mike
Mhmm.

00:28:56.38
Bill
Every single time in my prayers, I i say to myself every morning and night, I'm powerless over alcohol and I say drugs, even though I never did them, because I know if I do them, I'm fucked.

00:29:06.31
Mike
Right.

00:29:07.26
Bill
end up And I always say, without you, my life is unmanageable, meaning my higher power.

00:29:12.01
Mike
Right.

00:29:12.18
Bill
and And that's the same, I say it in different words, but I do mean the same thing that you're saying. I do not, I guess I'm i'm accepting to myself and just saying it out loud every day. Listen, I need somebody else's help here.

00:29:24.32
Mike
Right.

00:29:24.64
Bill
You know, I mean, um on my own, left to my own devices, all that shit. All this is unmanageable. um My life becomes manageable here because of all this stuff. So you just say, you're you're flat out and you're like, I don't manage my life.

00:29:33.93
Mike
Right.

00:29:37.06
Mike
Right.

00:29:37.16
Bill
I say it a little bit differently, but I do. I mean the same thing, 100% do.

00:29:40.84
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:29:41.39
Bill
um And it's in it's huge, you know, because yes, we have to make decisions. We can't just sit around and hope for shit to come to us. We've got to do the work, you know, because that's the other big part of it.

00:29:47.92
Mike
Right.

00:29:51.18
Mike
right

00:29:51.71
Bill
Um, but you know, the, these principles and in these good people, as you always say, that, uh, that taught us all these things, that's what ends up, you know, managing our lives, which is, uh, you know, kind of a beautiful thing, you know, a beautiful gift that we didn't have before.

00:30:00.99
Mike
Yep. Mm hmm.

00:30:06.61
Bill
That's for goddamn sure.

00:30:08.08
Mike
Right.

00:30:08.77
Bill
Cause I knew what I was doing. I was, I was just fine.

00:30:10.78
Mike
Oh yeah. Complete control and tons of power.

00:30:14.57
Bill
Right. Yeah. And look what, look what that got us. Right.

00:30:16.76
Mike
and

00:30:18.14
Bill
But um yeah, so that yeah, first step stuff, I don't know it's you happened to and even if and I think this is interesting. So even if there's people listening to us that aren't part of a 12 step program,

00:30:30.47
Mike
Right.

00:30:30.71
Bill
um It's my opinion that if you take a look at that first step and really look at it, you're doing the same thing, possibly not you know looking at it like, oh, I've just achieved the first step.

00:30:40.85
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:30:40.93
Bill
um But I think that people who are who are living a sober life, an active and positive sober life, um are really they've they've done the first step and probably the other one's just in a different way.

00:30:52.23
Bill
you know

00:30:52.32
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

00:30:53.54
Bill
which I think is kind of fun because that the steps are just, we talked about it, they're just fucking life lessons anyhow, you know?

00:30:57.87
Mike
Yep, exactly.

00:31:00.49
Bill
Call them what you will, but in, you know, just a quick side note, this has nothing to do with the steps, but my fucking chair is messed up.

00:31:10.23
Bill
So, um, you know, I, i I've got, you know, you've seen my chair just say, you know, it's an inexpensive, you know, kind of office chair, nothing special, not like a, you know, that like a big one, like you have, I wouldn't be able to fit yours in my car.

00:31:16.75
Mike
No, yeah. Mm hmm.

00:31:22.21
Bill
Um, but I bought it, uh, in here, here was my mindset and here's the stupidity here. Right. So when I've bought the first one, I don't know, year and a half ago, I think, or something like that, maybe even two years ago, I'm like, Oh, I'm not going to spend a hundred dollars on a fucking chair.

00:31:35.40
Bill
What an Amazon found one, you know, 30 bucks or whatever it was.

00:31:35.86
Mike
Right.

00:31:38.72
Bill
I bought four of them.

00:31:38.75
Mike
Sure.

00:31:42.17
Bill
in the last two years. So, you know, do the math. I've spent $120, you know, roughly, you know, but maybe a little bit more, maybe a little less depending on if they're on sale or not.

00:31:45.97
Mike
sure

00:31:50.53
Bill
But what happens with these things is, you know, they they work fine, they lean back, they do the whole thing. And then sooner or later though, it's like when you move forward, it'll it'll like tip forward where it shouldn't tip.

00:32:02.10
Bill
And it's, I look underneath and nothing's broken. It just gets to a point where they just, you lean forward and it just kind of like, like I'm going to fall off the front and I hate it. And it just started today for no fucking reason.

00:32:12.58
Bill
I'm just sitting here, I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? So yeah, all day I've been struggling with my with my chair, so, powerless. I'm powerless over this chair, but right before that we started, I'm like, I looked at Walmart, so I got to go to Walmart tomorrow, anyhow, once I get to my new location, I'm like, let me be able to look for an office chair there, so.

00:32:22.96
Mike
Right.

00:32:30.42
Mike
Right. So your ass is unmanageable.

00:32:33.41
Bill
Yeah, my yeah my my seat is is unmanageable and unmanageable ass. Now it's just, it's really bothersome because I mean, I'm sitting, it's like, if you're, it's a seat in your truck fucked up, if you had to sit in it all day, you know?

00:32:43.29
Mike
Right. yeah Yeah. Right. I know yeah it's happened.

00:32:46.23
Bill
And that's exactly what, yeah. Yeah, it's nothing like that. I could even imagine having the driver on the truck all day with a fucked up seat, but yeah, I could only imagine.

00:32:53.68
Mike
Hmm. It's fun.

00:32:56.92
Bill
So, um, just real quick side note. So you texted me today and you're like, are you like, yeah, run a little bit slow because of the snow. So how much snow?

00:33:03.45
Mike
Yeah.

00:33:04.98
Bill
I mean, it's like crazy there or whatever or what?

00:33:06.89
Mike
um No.

00:33:08.46
Bill
Oh, okay.

00:33:08.72
Mike
ah No, I mean, there's, um you know, clearly out East in the snow belt.

00:33:15.73
Bill
Right.

00:33:15.96
Mike
Um, they got more of whatever. Um, I know it's just sloppy and there were periods of, you know, I mean, there was a couple of times today where I was in some pretty white out hairy shit. It was coming down hard.

00:33:27.45
Mike
Um, but yeah. It's just no it's not though. It's never the snow. It's the other drivers always always Right three, they're either going too slow or they're going too fast ah You know half of them don't have their fucking lights on so you can't see them um You know, they've got their automatic lights on so they're covered.

00:33:33.63
Bill
right

00:33:44.35
Bill
right

00:33:47.81
Mike
They don't you know, Jesus Christ. I hate that and If you're listening to this, kids, you have automatic lights in your car. Never, ever use them. If you can't control the fucking lights in your car, what else can't you control in your vehicle?

00:34:01.41
Mike
um That's my little rant. but Yeah, you know, right, you know, my automatic lights are on, which means you got a couple of small ones in the front and your tail lights don't come on.

00:34:05.01
Bill
Right.

00:34:12.28
Mike
So if you're in a fucking whiteout condition, there's still light in the atmosphere.

00:34:12.28
Bill
Right.

00:34:16.51
Mike
So the car is going, well, there's light, so we don't need to turn the tail lights on. Well, yeah, you fucking do. You need to reach over there and turn your goddamn lights on. um By the way, it's the law.

00:34:28.19
Mike
It is in Ohio. If your windshield wipers are on, your lights have to be on.

00:34:34.09
Bill
Right.

00:34:34.78
Mike
Yeah.

00:34:34.85
Bill
Yeah. And I mean, I, I use my, I use my automatic lights, but in a situation like that, you know, raining or it darkens up or snow or like i'll put my lights on, you know what I mean?

00:34:41.44
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:34:41.65
Bill
I, I mean, there, there's, it's a matter of, uh, I mean, I, I like automatic lights, but I get your point and I can always tell, I mean, you can still see right into your dash when your full lights are on.

00:34:45.72
Mike
Hmm. Hmm.

00:34:49.82
Bill
So if it, again, if it's ever dark, I've had, I don't know how many cars now with automatic lights, I like the convenience of them when they come on automatically, you know, but, um, I do have the ability and hopefully the knowledge, which I do, you know, to turn them on to to your point, you know,

00:34:56.80
Mike
Hmm.

00:35:03.26
Mike
Right.

00:35:03.80
Bill
Um, you know, but, uh, yeah, I, I get it. I get it.

00:35:06.06
Mike
Hmm.

00:35:06.20
Bill
Absolutely. But yeah, it's just, it's funny because, um, I mean, it's snowed. It's snowed up by Kathy's, I dunno, once, um, when I went up to Wisconsin Christmas Eve, it had snowed the night before they got a little bit of snow.

00:35:17.82
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:35:20.13
Bill
It was snow on the ground. It was enough.

00:35:21.81
Mike
Right.

00:35:21.96
Bill
Um, but I mean, when I, as I, you know, got down here, shit, when I got down here on Saturday, I mean, it was like 60 degrees and same thing on Sunday.

00:35:27.14
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:35:30.50
Bill
I mean, it was fucking beautiful. It's cooled off a little bit. I mean, it was in the forties and stuff over the last couple of days and shit.

00:35:36.29
Mike
Right.

00:35:37.04
Bill
When we went to, um, Oregon and I went, um, hiking on a new year's day, when we got there was like fucking 37 degrees.

00:35:44.55
Mike
Oh.

00:35:45.23
Bill
You know, and I'm like, it's fucking cold, you know, but it, it did, it warmed up. It was, you know, upper forties, low fifties by the time, you know, like half hour, 45 minutes into it. So it was comfortable. Um, but I mean, not even a,

00:35:57.94
Bill
the snow was not was not an issue, you know, and it just, it's nice.

00:35:59.83
Mike
Right.

00:36:01.62
Bill
I'm like, I can do a little bit of cold. It's not snowing.

00:36:03.72
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:36:04.29
Bill
I don't have to deal with that right at the moment. You know, so um yeah, it just it's, again, take yourself out of an area like that for a minute. And I'm like, Oh, so what's that?

00:36:15.47
Bill
I didn't like really mean it that way. But I was just like, yeah you know,

00:36:17.62
Mike
I know that side. That's why I put it in there because I knew you would appreciate not being in it.

00:36:24.69
Bill
Yeah, exactly. And then it's funny, though, the um because ah tomorrow is when I'm heading out to Albuquerque. And um you know I looked on the 10-day forecast. I think it's it's Wednesday, I think, out there.

00:36:35.82
Bill
There's a chance for light snow. I mean, it's nothing big. There's no accumulation from what I could see.

00:36:39.29
Mike
Right.

00:36:40.96
Bill
But um you know in that area, i mean they get snow. you know They get snow in there.

00:36:44.24
Mike
Yeah.

00:36:44.85
Bill
then When I come back through Amarillo on the way back, they get snow there. They get snow and you know in the Grand Canyon where we're going.

00:36:48.45
Mike
Right.

00:36:51.20
Bill
They get snow in Prescott where I'm going to be. and you know, after Phoenix. So I mean, I get hopefully a couple of weeks here in Phoenix, where at least maybe it's in the 60s or 70s, which will be that'll be fucking nice.

00:37:00.28
Mike
Right.

00:37:03.35
Bill
But I don't know. It's just ah yeah the the snow thing. But yeah, it is. It's the other drivers. I knew it wasn't you. But I i understood what you meant.

00:37:10.08
Mike
Right.

00:37:10.92
Bill
I understood what you meant.

00:37:11.02
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:37:11.68
Bill
You know, slow having to dealing with fucking idiotic people.

00:37:12.10
Mike
so

00:37:15.25
Mike
Yeah, exactly. And I mean, you know, right. I slow down and yeah you know drive appropriately.

00:37:21.66
Bill
Right.

00:37:22.32
Mike
ah ah Anyway.

00:37:24.30
Bill
All right. So the, over the last um yeah probably, well, handy probably a week or so, all, you know, obviously you you see all New Year's stuff and the thing that just cracks me up every year, cause you know, it's ah this year, it was an elite year, but ah everyone pos does this post that says, oh, tomorrow starts the first page of a 365 page book, whatever it is, you know, write a good one type of thing.

00:37:47.41
Mike
Hmm.

00:37:48.76
Bill
That's everyone, everyone posts that. and you know And that's i I never forget, what was the last, was it not last year, but the year before? Was last year a leap year or was it the year before?

00:37:58.67
Mike
Yeah. Last year, every, like yeah.

00:37:59.70
Bill
Oh, okay.

00:38:00.85
Mike
Presidential election years are leap years. Always.

00:38:02.74
Bill
Oh, okay. yeah that's like That's a good way to remember, thank you. Um, but, uh, I remember at the beginning, and I saw at least a handful of people posted that I'm like, wrong 366. And I'm like, God damn it.

00:38:14.02
Bill
Cause people just, people just post this shit.

00:38:14.42
Mike
Nope.

00:38:16.32
Bill
They don't really make this at once in the calendar. But anyhow, so you see that stuff, but then a lot of the stuff that I saw, and the reason I, there's a point for me bringing this up and I think, I think I'll make it, but I'll make the point.

00:38:28.53
Bill
um But it says some people, there's some people posting how shitty 2024 was. So that's one that's one.

00:38:34.44
Mike
Yeah, right Right, right Right my thoughts are you're all a bunch of fucking morons

00:38:36.06
Bill
And then other people posting about basically this this forecast of how shitty 2025 is, or 2025 is gonna be. And I'm like, well, let me just leave it at that.

00:38:46.36
Bill
So Mike, your thoughts. Let's let's start there.

00:38:54.75
Mike
yeah

00:38:54.79
Bill
that's That's what I thought because I'm like, I'm like, okay, so, um, I don't know, even take a look at, there was some, I mean, even in, in, so, well, not even in, in sobriety, there have been some years where there's been some shit, you know, I mean, there, there's people that have died.

00:39:07.30
Mike
Mm-hmm. Sure.

00:39:11.78
Bill
I've been out of work.

00:39:12.15
Mike
Right.

00:39:12.50
Bill
I mean, I struggled. I've had this, maybe I got my heart stepped on, whether it was perceived or not, whatever the case is, but I don't remember ever looking back and being like,

00:39:13.89
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:39:18.08
Mike
Sure. Right.

00:39:22.60
Bill
this year fucking sucked. Now, even the pandemic years, and I get it, you know, with that stuff, because, you know, there was a, there was a, everyone, you know, so, right?

00:39:24.11
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, not everyone. I kind of enjoyed it.

00:39:33.99
Bill
No, but I mean, I was going to say everyone, you know, was dealing with the same stuff, you know, for the most part.

00:39:37.95
Mike
Sure.

00:39:40.12
Bill
Um, but part of that's kind of like, I get that a little bit because they had that kind of fucked up a lot of people, but even take aside that, that but basically it was the first year.

00:39:42.99
Mike
Mhm.

00:39:47.54
Bill
But either way, I just looking back at a year and going this year was so fucking shitty. Okay.

00:39:52.55
Mike
Right.

00:39:53.20
Bill
Bad mindset. Try to pick out like us talk, trying to talk about, you know, bad moments versus a whole bad year.

00:39:54.89
Mike
Mhm.

00:39:59.22
Mike
Right.

00:39:59.38
Bill
yeah I mean, really? But then, you know, people are like, you know, you see these memes about, you know, they're slowly open the door and there's a shit storm. And I see people, a lot of people posting saying that, Hey, did you see that the first, the first three days of the year are WTF, you know, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

00:40:15.01
Mike
Right.

00:40:16.19
Bill
I'm like, Oh my God.

00:40:16.27
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:40:18.29
Bill
fucking huge goddamn eye roll on my part. I'm like, really? I'm like, what does it fucking matter? It's the change of a calendar. It doesn't fucking matter. You're the same goddamn person.

00:40:26.07
Mike
Right.

00:40:27.69
Bill
It's like today was your fucking birthday tomorrow.

00:40:27.71
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:40:29.73
Bill
You're not going to be, you know, you don't just spring up and I don't know. It just did it.

00:40:34.08
Mike
Well, I think there lies the problem and the answer. They're the same fucking person.

00:40:44.03
Mike
Miserable Fox.

00:40:45.89
Bill
Right.

00:40:46.37
Mike
Yeah, right. Last year suck. Next year's going to suck. Yeah, probably is, you know? Oh, well, just make sure you don't do it around me.

00:40:55.23
Bill
Right, but I mean, even even to the point where somebody's like, you know, I want to keep saying 225, that's not what I want to, 2025, you know, this is my year, I'm going to make all these changes, I'm going to be, I'm like, okay, again, back to the same thing we say.

00:41:04.19
Mike
Aha.

00:41:10.39
Bill
What what is different today than fucking this week, Tuesday, you know?

00:41:15.16
Mike
Right.

00:41:15.82
Bill
I mean, what, what changed, you know, that the temperature might be a little bit different.

00:41:16.09
Mike
Nothing.

00:41:20.05
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:41:20.39
Bill
There's again, a calendar change, but what the fuck? I just don't, I've never, even before I got sober, you know, I just, I never, I never understood that whole mindset about fine.

00:41:26.23
Mike
Right.

00:41:29.88
Bill
If you want to, if if that's your point in, in, in your year when you make changes and you, and you stick through it throughout the the the year, fucking more power to you, you know, and if people use those as it literally the calendar change as a benchmark for another.

00:41:34.94
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Mm hmm.

00:41:45.80
Bill
And I hate the term sometimes, but level up, you know, um, you know, and they, and they do it that, fuck, I mean, pay more power to you, but most people fucking don't, you know?

00:41:47.42
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Sure. Right. Yeah. Right.

00:41:58.42
Mike
Miserable last year, miserable this year.

00:42:01.12
Bill
Right.

00:42:01.40
Mike
Yup.

00:42:02.81
Bill
Yeah, the only one that made me laugh was there's a meme that says they're like, yeah, if I already fucked up, I guess 2026 is my year. So that what people were posting that like yesterday.

00:42:15.41
Bill
That I thought was funny, you know, just because I think that's people just kind of fucking poking fun at it.

00:42:17.13
Mike
Yeah Mm

00:42:20.47
Bill
But I mean, all the rest of it, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

00:42:20.77
Mike
-hmm

00:42:24.45
Bill
I don't really I still I don't understand that. I mean, what was what was so bad about, you know, the 2024? I mean, I was

00:42:31.97
Mike
i have I don't know, not much. I mean, you know, yeah, you know, I've been same old, you know, life on life's terms, you know, shit happened and whatever, but yeah.

00:42:34.53
Bill
No, I know.

00:42:41.13
Mike
Okay. I don't know. I got through it. I'm still sober and relatively happy and what the fuck man.

00:42:48.29
Bill
Right.

00:42:48.92
Mike
Right.

00:42:49.16
Bill
I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's if i if I really had to had a you know catalog years for me about you know things that if I really wanted to look at you know like fun, I had a new experiences and you know I don't growth and being able to go out and do things.

00:43:00.97
Mike
Right.

00:43:01.86
Bill
I mean, 2024 was a good fucking year for me.

00:43:04.94
Mike
Right.

00:43:05.74
Bill
you know But I don't look at it that way. i mean i the The only thing, and I don't have you know New Year's resolutions or anything like that, I had a goal from the time I started this job was to to get to the point of you know being self-sustaining.

00:43:21.25
Bill
Not that I'm going to be out all over the place all the time, but being able to afford it if I want to.

00:43:24.74
Mike
Right.

00:43:27.52
Bill
you know that's my only and it's ah It's a goal that I started with to begin with.

00:43:27.62
Mike
Right.

00:43:32.34
Bill
When I first started this job was getting to that point

00:43:34.17
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:43:35.42
Bill
You know, and yes, I mean, if I, if I had to put a mark out, it'd be nice, you know, the first, you know, six months of the year, it just happens to be the first six months of the year. It has nothing to do really.

00:43:44.84
Mike
right Right.

00:43:45.75
Bill
If I would have, I don't know, if I would have started, you know, uh, in September and I would, it was March, I'd be like, okay, you know, by, by September, six months from now, I want to be there here.

00:43:49.55
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:43:55.75
Bill
What? I don't know. You know,

00:43:56.72
Mike
Yeah, right, right. i yeah Exactly.

00:43:59.88
Bill
i'm so I'm setting benchmarks for myself, but it really doesn't have anything to do with you know with the calendar.

00:44:04.39
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:05.76
Bill
Not even really. It has nothing to do with the calendar.

00:44:07.40
Mike
No.

00:44:08.39
Bill
It's the amount of time I think it's going to take for me to do it based on how things are going and at work and you know my my growth pattern.

00:44:10.73
Mike
Sure.

00:44:13.77
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. who Exactly.

00:44:17.20
Bill
and I just don't know. Yeah. You know what? It's yeah the, the year is going to be however you fucking it make it. It doesn't matter what year it is or anything like that. It is literally whatever you make of it on a daily fucking basis.

00:44:27.29
Bill
If you don't do the work, you're going to live the same shitty existence that you lived last year. And you're going to do it next year to next year.

00:44:31.94
Mike
Yep.

00:44:34.44
Bill
And the first, to you know, January 1st of 2026, you'd be like, this is my fucking year. 2025 kicked my ass. Well, it's your fucking fault if it kicked your ass.

00:44:43.36
Mike
who Right. Yeah, exactly. What did you do leading up to January 1st to make things better?

00:44:51.51
Bill
Right, right. Yeah, the the groundwork, the foundation, all that stuff, right?

00:44:56.22
Mike
The footwork. I've heard that somewhere.

00:44:57.75
Bill
Yeah, but the footwork. Yeah, do the fucking footwork, as they say, right?

00:45:01.68
Mike
Uh huh.

00:45:02.67
Bill
Yeah, yeah.

00:45:03.52
Mike
Yeah.

00:45:05.18
Bill
All right, so um what do you say, Mike, on that?

00:45:07.33
Mike
Right. Yes. It's break time. All right. We'll be back after these words from our sponsor.

00:45:22.14
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome back. And I just gotta say, there was no flavor to that one, none.

00:45:26.77
Mike
Yeah. Now there wasn't, it was generic as fuck. I knew it as soon as soon soon as I did it.

00:45:30.06
Bill
I know, I was...

00:45:32.21
Mike
And I was just like, you know what, man, I'm fucking tired.

00:45:35.90
Bill
yes Just yeah, there was that there was nothing. i'm not trying to I'm not really criticizing you, I'm just you know pointing out the obvious going, there was fucking, that was nothing, there was nothing there.

00:45:43.63
Mike
Yeah, that was a big old ball and nothing.

00:45:47.54
Bill
A big old ball of nothing. Oh, ah one of our followers,

00:45:51.83
Mike
Yes.

00:45:52.26
Bill
So you wanna talk about vagina vitamins again real quick?

00:45:54.52
Mike
but Oh, always.

00:45:57.22
Bill
Okay, so um here's the here's the funny part is that, well, first of all, in that alcoholfree dot.com, they always do our, because I look specifically, I couldn't wait to look once they got our writeup up, up if they would if they would, the word vagina was gonna be in our AI writeup, and it was, and it was in quotes, even vagina vitamins, and it's like, ooh, they even went to a weird topic like, and I was like, oh, this is so fucking funny.

00:46:12.12
Mike
Hmm. Nice.

00:46:19.59
Bill
But then, um Our friend, Sheila, and she's the one that um said at the one point, one of them's more immature than the other.

00:46:28.14
Mike
ah

00:46:29.11
Bill
That's a comment I always come back to, because she's that's easiest that's the easiest one for for me to identify her. but So this is this is our our friend, Sheila.

00:46:34.75
Mike
Right.

00:46:37.03
Bill
Hi, Sheila, because I think you hopefully you still listen.

00:46:37.81
Mike
Aye.

00:46:40.70
Bill
But um she she messaged on one of the posts I did, one of the episode clips, but she said, I was listening to your podcast at the gym, and had to rewind at the part about the the vag gummies.

00:46:51.95
Mike
yeah

00:46:53.09
Bill
And then I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, were they gummies? I mean, I'm i'm not going to argue with her. I mean, she would maybe no more than I was.

00:46:57.54
Mike
Right. oh

00:46:59.96
Bill
Whatever product I talked about. Maybe they were gummies and if they were, hey, if you can get a freshen freshen up your vag and do it in gummy form, why the fuck not, right?

00:47:09.05
Mike
Why not Flintstone chewables?

00:47:13.80
Bill
Shaped like vaginas.

00:47:15.47
Mike
Right. Wilma and Betty.

00:47:19.86
Bill
You see, grab a handful of vitamins. What the fuck are these? They're they're vaginas, oh. All right. But then she says, ah my first thought, what TikToker or celebrity endorsed this one?

00:47:32.93
Bill
I thought that was funny. And she says, they'll sell us a gummy for just about anything WebMD does not recommend. Sorry, guys. yeah She says, I'm sure there's one ah one for fresh balls too.

00:47:45.50
Mike
Ah!

00:47:46.84
Bill
And then she said, LOL and Happy New Year. And I did make a comment. I said, there is something for for fresh balls. I said, it's called a bar of soap.

00:47:54.53
Mike
Great.

00:47:56.88
Bill
But I just thought that that was funny. So first of all, just ah just the fact that I think I put that by comment to her. I said, just the fact that somebody had to rewind our podcast because the word vagina came up.

00:48:06.68
Mike
from

00:48:08.05
Bill
I think that was kind of the point. That was the point of me bringing it up to begin with. But um yeah, every once in a while she she chimes in and it it makes, I don't know, she says some some funny shit every once in a while. It makes me laugh.

00:48:18.21
Bill
So thank you.

00:48:18.87
Mike
Nice. Thank you.

00:48:21.11
Bill
All right, ah well, let's get to a piece of sobriety thing, then I'll come back to the whole, vi van vi hi hey Van Halen. See, nothing changes this year. it's said Van Halen stuff.

00:48:30.15
Mike
Ah, see, same, right. Same, same slick professionalism that you've come to expect.

00:48:35.44
Bill
yeah I can't speak in 2024. I can't speak in 2025.

00:48:38.96
Mike
he Right.

00:48:39.89
Bill
You sure as fuck couldn't speak. We got that right off.

00:48:42.92
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:48:44.10
Bill
Um, all right, we may have talked about this one too. This was from keep it simple. I believe this week, um, two thoughts will always mess up if we let them, those thoughts are yes, but, and what if, okay.

00:48:55.68
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:48:56.34
Bill
Do you remember talking about that? I know I've read it before, but I remember if we talked about it. So, okay.

00:49:00.25
Mike
yeah I don't think we've talked about it. Yeah. I do recall reading it in the near past.

00:49:05.78
Bill
Yeah, and I think it was just this week. So let me just repeat that. Two thoughts that will always mess us up if we let them. um They are yes, but and what if. So your thoughts, Mr. Mike.

00:49:17.55
Mike
Um, hmm.

00:49:21.48
Bill
Want to start with one? Yes, but.

00:49:23.27
Mike
Yes, but, um yeah, qualifying shit, that that screws us up every time, absolutely. um Yes, but, well then don't say fucking yes, man.

00:49:34.78
Mike
Just, it either is or it isn't.

00:49:38.37
Bill
Or is it going to argue about it?

00:49:39.86
Mike
And um if you're gonna argue about it, well then just fucking get into it, man. don't Don't give me, don't agree with me and then tell me I'm wrong. Um, just tell me I'm wrong and I'll say, okay, yeah you're wrong, but that's fine.

00:49:55.98
Mike
Um, yeah, exactly that will, yeah. Things are, or they aren't. And, um, again, down to acceptance and struggling against things that we can't change.

00:50:08.72
Bill
right

00:50:08.89
Mike
Um, either it is, or it isn't. And if.

00:50:11.94
Bill
Right.

00:50:12.83
Mike
You wanna say that you know the sky is green and and whatever, that's fine. You go believe that if you want to. But again, don't bring it around me.

00:50:24.99
Bill
And then the the other one is what if.

00:50:27.35
Mike
Right, what if? I don't know that yeah that. That says that you have some sort of control over things that haven't happened yet. um Good luck with that one too.

00:50:44.64
Mike
ah yeah It's going to bring it all back down to the Serenity Prayer, man. um Yeah. What if? I don't know. What if, man? i How about what is? That's where I like to live and dead because that's the only place that can affect any change and and have any control. It's right now. Living in the now. We've talked about it out here a million times. Live in the now. What if? I don't know. What if? What if?

00:51:22.01
Mike
It's fucking ridiculous, man. I don't know. I i can't even fathom. yeah Thank you.

00:51:29.89
Bill
You're just, it's that's another one. that what It's okay. You can stop. You don't have to do it anymore. It's just, it's again, one of those ones where you're just talking to like, what the fuck about what, what, what, what and why and what.

00:51:40.49
Mike
What? Why?

00:51:44.56
Bill
Yeah. So what if is speculating and obviously setting yourself up so for some sort of, uh, you know, obviously fall my opinion yeah and failure, um, or expectation or resentment.

00:51:46.64
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:51:51.31
Mike
Failure, right?

00:51:55.16
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:51:55.71
Bill
And then the the yeah, but like you said, is that it's either yes or no. And the yeah, but is ah is a qualification where um either you agree or disagree.

00:52:00.44
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:52:02.92
Bill
you know Somebody says, do you wanna go?

00:52:03.10
Mike
Right.

00:52:04.50
Bill
Yes, but. Only if I don't have to sit by you type of thing.

00:52:08.89
Mike
Right.

00:52:09.00
Bill
you know well the Well, then just don't go then.

00:52:10.70
Mike
Yeah, then right. Why am I talking to you?

00:52:12.61
Bill
yeah Do you want to go someplace? Yes, but just don't talk to me. Just be quiet. you know Just sit there and do nothing. you know but um yeah it's just that I didn't think about how funny those could be when you were just starting to answer them, but um yeah and maybe it's just that i that I've read those.

00:52:29.10
Bill
you know i've Again, I've read Keep It Simple for a number of years, so it may just be something that I've read.

00:52:31.64
Mike
Right.

00:52:34.59
Bill
a certain number of times, but I don't know why I thought we had talked about. We may have it. Maybe you got mad at it the last time too.

00:52:38.79
Mike
of prove Well, I would hope so.

00:52:39.95
Bill
if Yeah, maybe that's just, you just wiped it out of your brain.

00:52:44.41
Mike
Well, yeah, again, because I can't even fucking comprehend any of that shit anymore.

00:52:48.87
Bill
ah yeah You're just like, what if, what, what, what, what?

00:52:50.33
Mike
Thankfully.

00:52:55.98
Bill
ah That's ah again, that gave me that gave me more ah more humor than I did not expect that.

00:53:01.62
Mike
Good.

00:53:01.63
Bill
It's it's it's funnier than me when it when it just pops up out of nowhere, you know? yeah All right, so um this one was probably from about a month ago, and I think this had to do with the holidays coming up, but from God grant me, today I will list the times of the year that it is more difficult for me to stay positive.

00:53:20.79
Bill
Is there a time of year that's more difficult for others, um other more difficult than others for you? And that was my question for you, is that, and I know we, both of us kind of stay pretty even keel, but are there any time of the year that you think it is a little bit more just difficult from a positivity standpoint?

00:53:32.88
Mike
I'm not really now now.

00:53:40.27
Bill
Okay.

00:53:41.24
Mike
Um, I mean, you know, uh, again, we, we went into this a few weeks ago, you know, when, um, didn't get to go to Mexico this year when we usually go.

00:53:50.84
Bill
Right.

00:53:50.93
Mike
Um, and yeah, it kind of bummed me out. So, put that but that had, it wasn't really time of the year other than, you know, this is a thing that we do and we didn't get to do it this year. So, um,

00:54:02.48
Mike
Yeah, other but the time, and the days are shorter, it's darker, it's colder, you know, whatever, you know, i'm I'm not a huge fan of it fucking being totally bright all the time and hot as fuck and sweating my ass up.

00:54:15.26
Mike
I don't like that much either. So, yeah, I don't know. No, again, you said it even keeled, man, which is, which is, Great.

00:54:22.65
Bill
Right.

00:54:24.95
Mike
Now, again, outside forces affecting my life.

00:54:28.30
Bill
Right. And I was thinking about it, too, that I mean, even when they take a look at, you know, I mean,

00:54:30.50
Mike
Why? It's the calendar. It's holidays. It's, it's, I don't know that it's people in Washington, DC. None of this shit affects me because I don't allow it to.

00:54:42.45
Bill
right

00:54:43.23
Mike
Yeah.

00:54:43.50
Bill
and i was i was thinking about it too that i mean even when they take a look at um you know i mean I don't know, you take some, you know, important times of the, you know, the the year when, you know, um or or people close to us that have passed away.

00:54:55.22
Bill
Like, you know, my dad passed away in March.

00:54:55.49
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:54:57.14
Bill
Mom passed away in October.

00:54:57.50
Mike
Right.

00:54:59.46
Bill
I mean, those are days that I ah might take a moment to reflect.

00:54:59.75
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:55:02.91
Bill
I've had, you know, again, a couple of years ago, I was in a bad fucking mood the the day that I was an anniversary of my dad's death.

00:55:03.19
Mike
Sure.

00:55:08.74
Bill
And it was only like three years ago, which fucking blew my mind.

00:55:09.39
Mike
Right.

00:55:11.30
Bill
Because I didn't realize, because I didn't know where it came from, but I'm like, eh, maybe I got some unresolved shit in my head after,

00:55:15.35
Mike
Yeah.

00:55:17.44
Mike
yeah

00:55:17.49
Bill
you know whatever it was eleven years um but it it wasn't like i don't know i i don't come up to you know that that time in march every year and be like oh fuck here it is again or you know i mean yeah granted it's been you know a couple years since mom died again it's a day of reflection type of thing but

00:55:27.47
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure.

00:55:34.28
Bill
You know, i can I can think about, she's in my prayers every every day. My dad's at in my prayers every day. I talk about them in my head and Larry, you know, my stepdad every fucking day.

00:55:40.03
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Right.

00:55:44.34
Bill
So these things don't sneak up on me. I mean, I don't know, I'd say it's, I don't know why or how I started adding, you know, the, again, those important people and it's basically the, you know, my, the parental figures in my life, mom, Larry and my dad, you know?

00:55:58.14
Mike
Right.

00:55:58.64
Bill
um And those are the people that I just added. in there These things are just forefront in my head every single day. So I i think it helped me, I don't know, probably work through this shit.

00:56:08.69
Bill
you know because it's I mean, grief is grief. It is what it is.

00:56:10.85
Mike
Sure.

00:56:11.03
Bill
I mean, we all we all deal with it ah ah you know a certain way or a different way or whatever way. um you know But I don't know. there There really isn't a time of year. No, I don't like winter. I don't like the fucking cold.

00:56:21.10
Bill
I hate snow. um you know But even then, it's ah it doesn't take away from, if I'm standing outside, it's usually my own fucking fault that I'm standing outside.

00:56:29.42
Mike
Right.

00:56:30.31
Bill
you know i don't I don't work outside. you know I don't have to be out in the in the cold weather. What I did, that was a little unpleasant. you know But the same thing, i mean even then, it wasn't like I walked around.

00:56:42.64
Bill
I don't know, like a ball of fucking depression. You know, I mean, I, I don't know.

00:56:45.79
Mike
Now.

00:56:46.81
Bill
It just, it was an interesting question to me because I didn't think that you had anything like that, but, um, I guess specifically I didn't know maybe, Hey, other people out there, if you've got times a year that are fucking weird.

00:56:51.97
Mike
Yeah.

00:56:57.63
Bill
Um, I don't know if you're, if you're aware of it, um, you know, do something to try to work through it. So it doesn't fuck you up at a certain time of year. I mean, there's, again, do the work, you know, we got, we, I think we all have the ability to do that work so that these,

00:57:05.15
Mike
Right, right.

00:57:10.11
Bill
We shouldn't have the, you said it, you know, a million times that, you know, I don't want to get too high and I don't want to get too low, you know?

00:57:15.86
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. And I mean, and, and if you've done the work properly, whatever that work happens to be, um, and you have that peace and serenity in you, who fucking cares what, again, outside influences don't affect me anymore.

00:57:31.45
Bill
Right.

00:57:33.48
Mike
No matter what they are, day of the week, calendar, holiday, president, whatever.

00:57:43.26
Mike
Cuz inside of me, you know, like Bob used to say all the time It's an inside job and my I've done the work on the inside and my insides are pretty fucking good And they can withstand all the outside

00:57:56.05
Bill
Right, yeah, and it's, ah I don't know. And know again I, again, I know people go through shit like that, but I just think it's, um I think it's something that's fixable, you know, or at least it's, there's a point out there where I think that's the whole point.

00:58:10.70
Bill
There's some people that do therapy, some people talk to people, some people, you know what, but go to meetings, go to do whatever they do.

00:58:13.00
Mike
Sure.

00:58:15.72
Bill
but there's ways, there's ways to work through and that's, the that's the key.

00:58:15.79
Mike
Right.

00:58:18.88
Bill
You know, it is all about doing the work. Yeah. I suppose if you and I sat around and did fucking nothing about, you know, taking care of ourselves and trying to, you know, deal with all this, all this shit that we had in our past.

00:58:25.81
Mike
Right.

00:58:30.04
Bill
Um, yeah, I'm sure that like every day, every day might be fucking terrible.

00:58:33.99
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Well, it,

00:58:35.13
Bill
I'm sure it actually would.

00:58:36.73
Mike
Yeah, and I mean, and there's a reason I finished the podcast every time the same way. Go do something for somebody else.

00:58:44.79
Bill
Right.

00:58:45.18
Mike
It it fucking works every time. I'm depressed. I'm sad. I mean, fucking go do something for somebody else. You want to fix yourself, help somebody else out.

00:58:55.57
Bill
Right. Yeah. And it's, um, it's amazing. You know, what it goes back to, we say it all the time, that the a math, it doesn't make any sense and it doesn't add up, but, uh, man, it, uh, it does.

00:59:02.01
Mike
Nope. Nope.

00:59:06.15
Bill
It fucking works. And you know, same thing, you know, we, um, I, I know you, you know, you mentioned it on here towards the beginning of the podcast, you know, you were tired and stuff like that. Um, I mean, I, for whatever reason, um, I mean,

00:59:18.25
Bill
And I got up early on New Year's Day and we long drive back and forth and whatever. It was nice. It was a really nice time. But I mean, it did. it It kind of occupied the entire day. I didn't really have much day off sitting around time, but I don't care.

00:59:30.06
Bill
you know But I was thinking that um I'm like, God, I wonder if i I might be actually tired going back to work the next day.

00:59:30.62
Mike
Right.

00:59:35.15
Mike
Hmm.

00:59:35.91
Bill
But I woke up and like, yeah. I'm not. I was sitting there on Wednesday night, because again, I mean, the the total amount of, we walked like four miles, you know, that that entire day, which was longer than the trail, etc but I don't know, we ended up walking around and doing whatever. And um it was a nice day and it was beautiful and and all that stuff. And and I got back and I ate dinner and I'm sitting there and I'm watching TV. and and know I've been watching Breaking Bad again. I'm just sitting there and I'm on the couch and it's a little after eight o'clock and I realized that I'm fucking dozing off. I haven't done that in a long time.

01:00:08.24
Bill
But, you know, I, you know, i it was, again, a little bit cold to begin with, but fresh air, walking four miles.

01:00:13.86
Mike
right

01:00:13.87
Bill
Um, and I'm just sitting there and I'm like, woof and I was up early, you know, which is no big deal.

01:00:18.57
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:00:18.63
Bill
Um, but I'm like, finally, I gotta go to fucking go to bed. You know, but this morning I woke up, I must've slept weird, you know, either restless or whatever.

01:00:25.99
Mike
Yep.

01:00:26.14
Bill
Fucking tired, just crazy fucking tired. And a little bit stuffed up. Oh, that's the other thing I'll tell you a little bit about this place you're in a little bit but um just like really stuffed up and I'm like, is this like, this might be an allergy thing and I'll get to that in a minute. um Or I might be maybe I'm getting a mile cold I don't feel like it so I think it's more of an allergy thing but um I don't know you know, but once we get on here, this again, back to the fact that this is like a meeting, even if I'm in one of those things where I'm like, I'm fucking tired.

01:00:53.69
Bill
It's not that I don't feel like doing this, but sometimes it'd be like, again, eat my pizza, do whatever, and I'm like, end of the week, you know?

01:00:59.62
Mike
Right.

01:01:02.08
Bill
But I mean, I don't know, once I get on here, it's like after I get done, I'm like, ooh, it's all good, you know? But I mean, yeah we're on here, we're doing some fucking work, you know? and It is what it is, right?

01:01:09.84
Mike
Right. of

01:01:12.91
Bill
Alright so just real quick when the the place that I'm staying is the same place that I stayed because I was in Oklahoma City September of 23 yeah 23 and this was the I stayed in the same complex it was a unit towards the front but again same complex right.

01:01:28.05
Mike
Right?

01:01:28.20
Bill
um And I had looked it was one other unit I looked at in this in this complex because how well I was spacing it out it would have been for I Think for next week that it was available Not this week and then found this one, you know, look at the pictures and I'm like, oh looks nice looks just like the other one a little bit different setup But you know that the floor plan is the same um but of course, you know, obviously it looks a hardwood whatever so I'm like, oh it looks like a nice place so I get here and um it was it was weird like I got almost ah the place seems a little bit more that the complex seems a little bit more rundown than it than it did.

01:02:02.23
Mike
Hmm.

01:02:02.73
Bill
in that amount of time.

01:02:03.79
Mike
All right.

01:02:04.08
Bill
And, you know, kind of is ah is a jump aside side note. When I was talking to Morgan about it, she's the one that kind of pointed out this area when I was down here the first time, because she used to live in this complex.

01:02:13.61
Mike
Okay.

01:02:14.11
Bill
And then when I was talking to her on Wednesday, kind of telling her about this unit, she's like, you know, she goes, that place is weird. She goes, it'll go kind of up and down. Sometimes it'll be really, you know, like a really nice kind of high level type of thing.

01:02:23.21
Mike
Hmm.

01:02:24.90
Bill
Sometimes it'll drop a little bit, you know, this sort of thing. I'm like, well, it must be in a downswing because it just, again, it has a feel of that, you know, I don't know why.

01:02:31.19
Mike
Right

01:02:32.18
Bill
But so I walk in here and I mean to begin with right away. I walked in I'm like I smelled animals right away um And it's that I looked on the app and I'm like ah fuck it's it's pet friendly Which I I don't if I stayed in a place I may have stayed in a place that have been pet friendly But I've never smelled the remnants of dogs or anything like that because you know, usually they'll they'll clean them and do whatever and

01:02:54.36
Mike
Sure.

01:02:54.98
Bill
It's got hard wooden here and then whatever in the kitchen and then like a carpeting in the bedroom and then a rug in the dining room and then a rug in front of the tub. And the only thing that I can figure is that again, whoever's been in here, they probably didn't, you know, clean the carpets.

01:03:08.66
Bill
Well, just, it just smells like dogs, you know?

01:03:09.36
Mike
Hmm. Right.

01:03:11.62
Bill
And I'm like, I get, it depends on the dog. It depends on the areas. I get these minor allergies and I don't know what types of dogs affect me. I don't know, you know, just sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

01:03:21.00
Mike
right

01:03:23.10
Bill
And I'm just like, oh, this is going to be fucking wonderful if this happened, whatever dogs were in here. And I've been a little bit stuffy, but that's what I woke up this morning. I'm like really stuffed up today. And I'm wondering if just again, temperature change, whatever happened and you know, whatever.

01:03:34.28
Mike
Right.

01:03:35.87
Bill
But then I walk into the bathroom and above the tub, the the furnace must be up there. and It's a condo. And I'm guessing it's probably one of like in, when we were in, where do we stay?

01:03:43.46
Mike
Sure.

01:03:46.89
Bill
Where was our place on Baltic?

01:03:48.89
Mike
Right.

01:03:48.94
Bill
Right.

01:03:49.55
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:49.89
Bill
The, in the, the water heater and the furnace and everything was up in that closet in your bedroom, I think. Right.

01:03:55.25
Mike
Hmm. Wasn't it? I think it was like in the, it was off of your bedroom. Wasn't it like the front staircase closet? If I remember right.

01:04:03.71
Bill
Yeah. I don't remember. Cause you had, you, okay.

01:04:04.76
Mike
Wasn't in my bedroom.

01:04:06.11
Bill
So yeah, then it might've been, but it it was in the ceiling. It was, I remember it being, yeah you might be right.

01:04:08.72
Mike
Yeah. Right.

01:04:10.48
Bill
It might've been in my bedroom.

01:04:12.16
Mike
Yeah.

01:04:12.21
Bill
Um, but either way, you know, you get the smaller units in there. Yeah, they're up in, up in their ceilings.

01:04:15.84
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:04:16.65
Bill
So I didn't think about it right away, but I look and there's this whole, like a trap door piece, but it looks like it's, um, it's a little warped and it's kind of hanging down and they kind of put clear tape around it.

01:04:20.89
Mike
Right.

01:04:26.98
Bill
I'm looking, I'm like, like, what the fuck?

01:04:31.41
Bill
I'm like, well, that's kind of fucked up. I went to the bathroom, went to wash my hands. There's no water pressure in the sink. um I tried to. I went down underneath. I was going to adjust. And I'm not going to fuck with those here or snap one off.

01:04:41.98
Mike
right

01:04:42.00
Bill
Either they got the wrong valves in there or it had them way turned down and they're stuck. So it's just this not a trickle, but it's just barely any water pressure in there. Shower's fine. Toilet flush is fine, whatever.

01:04:51.34
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:04:51.55
Bill
But just kind of little things. you know And it just it's not as nice.

01:04:53.27
Mike
Right.

01:04:54.79
Bill
And it's not as well kept as the other one was. um But again, internet works fine, this and that, everything else is fine. No noisy neighbors, I can hear people upstairs, but all of that's been fine. But New Year's Eve, um again, just hanging out, doing whatever, and we had, well, we, I had to get up early, because we were leaving early, she was going to be here at like eight o'clock.

01:05:11.28
Mike
Right.

01:05:13.70
Bill
So, um you know, I but just treated it like a work night, you know?

01:05:16.22
Mike
right

01:05:16.66
Bill
Get ready, and I lay down at bed, it's like 10.30, and I'm trying to go to sleep, but all of a sudden I hear, put your arms where I can see them.

01:05:25.74
Mike
that.

01:05:26.62
Bill
Put your arms out to the side. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I thought I heard, you know, again, I'm dozing off and I thought I heard sirens. So I kind of looked through the blinds and I'm shitting you. there's There's a minimum of five cop cars in the parking lot.

01:05:38.84
Mike
Nice.

01:05:39.59
Bill
I see see this one dude come running it past the window, one cop running, the other cop running. I'm like, oh my God. And then I'm just looking out there and I'm like, and first of all, I'm sitting, I'm like, well, what if somebody starts shooting?

01:05:51.68
Bill
I'm standing in front of the fucking window.

01:05:52.34
Mike
over

01:05:53.92
Bill
And then I'm like, again, powerless. I went back to bed.

01:05:57.50
Mike
Yeah.

01:05:58.38
Bill
And I just went to sleep, you know, and I felt I must have fallen asleep right away because I didn't hear anything else. But but yeah, the cops showed up.

01:06:02.76
Mike
Uh,

01:06:04.57
Bill
here at new york sea I know.

01:06:07.34
Mike
amateur night.

01:06:08.94
Bill
But again, it's again, it's it's not bad, but you know, it just it's it's probably it's not as nice. It's been all functional and whatever it is. The biggest thing was the was the animal smell, you know, and I just um I don't know.

01:06:19.89
Bill
It was just weird. You know, they I mentioned it to I had to oh, the washer or the dryer wasn't working to begin with.

01:06:22.06
Mike
Hmm.

01:06:25.50
Bill
the, the knob on the dryer stick. So I mean, literally had to use both hands to like turn at their stackables. And I was thinking it was broken. So I was messaging back and forth to the host and finally tried it again and it worked.

01:06:35.87
Mike
ah

01:06:36.00
Bill
But then I'm like, I'm like, Oh, side note dog smell side note. What's the thing above the tub type of thing. She didn't answer the thing about the above the tub. Um, but she's like, Oh yeah, it's, we are pet friendly, but we have a professionally clean that I'm like, Oh no, you don't.

01:06:48.05
Bill
But you know, I didn't say that.

01:06:48.24
Mike
white You pay someone to clean it that doesn't make them professionals.

01:06:53.51
Bill
Yeah.

01:06:53.57
Mike
Well, I guess it does technically.

01:06:53.75
Bill
And

01:06:55.05
Mike
but

01:06:56.18
Bill
Yeah, and it's just, it's not like a shag carpet, but it's a thicker type of carpet. So whatever it's, it it is what it is. It's functional. I'm leaving tomorrow. So I'm fine, but, and again, I was able to work, you know, apparently they pay their internet bills.

01:07:03.92
Mike
Right.

01:07:09.01
Bill
So I didn't have to worry about that. So, so, so that's a good thing.

01:07:10.89
Mike
Well, that's nice.

01:07:13.43
Bill
But, um but yeah, so anyhow, I mean, I woke up, I was fucking tired. I either I was stuffed up or slept funny or whatever the case was, but either way, you know what life on life's terms as they say.

01:07:22.07
Mike
this Yeah.

01:07:23.12
Bill
Okay. So. The Van Halen thing, um I started listening to, and do you know about Alex Van Halen's book. I think I brought it up here and you know about it.

01:07:29.75
Mike
Right.

01:07:31.12
Bill
But yeah, so I had read about um write about it to begin with and heard it was coming out.

01:07:31.40
Mike
No, sure.

01:07:36.90
Bill
And then also, I don't read some reviews or something like that. And so I knew it before I before i jumped into it that he's only talking about from when the childhood up to the end of the David david Lee Roth era.

01:07:50.84
Bill
OK?

01:07:50.86
Mike
Right.

01:07:51.72
Bill
because his point in these articles that I read is that was the that was the start. That was the, as I think as he put it, the magic of the band. That was when they you know kind of gave their footing and all these different things.

01:08:01.78
Mike
z

01:08:02.64
Bill
And I'm like, well, that's cool. you know I mean, I get it, because that was that was that was Van Halen.

01:08:04.96
Mike
Right.

01:08:07.50
Bill
And then it grew at the Sammy and the Whatevers and blah, blah, blah.

01:08:07.81
Mike
Right.

01:08:10.84
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:08:11.07
Bill
um And a person I've listened to so far, first of all, did you know that Alex was sober too?

01:08:16.51
Mike
I did not.

01:08:17.79
Bill
I didn't either. He mentioned it in there. I yet or so far haven't caught like when, um but he was talking about it because obviously he's reading it and, you know, said that he's, I've been sober for years, but I'm like, really?

01:08:26.02
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:08:29.46
Bill
I didn't fucking know. um But just the other day, some some article pops up um about and Sammy Hager in an article and talking about the Alex Van Halen book.

01:08:38.40
Mike
Uh huh. Yeah.

01:08:42.27
Bill
And I saved the article because there's some highlights on there that I just got to read because i thought i I laughed at it. But first of all, the title of the article Sammy Hagar, Alex Van Halen not acknowledging Van Hagar is blasphemy to Eddie's legacy.

01:08:58.80
Mike
Ah.

01:09:01.31
Bill
And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

01:09:01.96
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:09:04.13
Bill
So I'm skimming through this this article, and he says, no disrespect to Alex, but it's OK to be like VH with Sammy, even if ah if even if or to be it's OK to like Van Halen with Sammy, even if if he doesn't anymore.

01:09:18.85
Bill
um you know More purists believe Van Halen ended with David Lee Roth. um blah, blah, blah, blah. What did he say? He said that Alex is not doing his brother ah his brother's musical legacy justice by not acknowledging all the number one albums and some great music that Eddie and I wrote together.

01:09:35.26
Bill
This is Sammy speaking, not not Alex, but Eddie and I wrote together, wrote Hagar.

01:09:36.66
Mike
Of course.

01:09:41.17
Bill
Now to not acknowledge those 10 years of music is blasphemy to his brother's musicianship, songwriting and legacy. Okay. So do you have any opinions on those words, Mike?

01:09:49.22
Mike
All right. Not really, because I he never been a big fan of Sammy Hagar, you know, he did two cool albums with Montrose and other than that, I don't give a shit.

01:10:06.97
Bill
Well, and it personally, and I told you, I probably said it on here. I mean, I saw i saw the the Van Hagar version twice and they were fucking wonderful.

01:10:11.54
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:10:15.70
Bill
And that was music like music that came out when I was in high school and um I was into the original from the the first Van Halen album all the way through, um but I did.

01:10:16.22
Mike
I'm sure.

01:10:19.25
Mike
Right.

01:10:24.98
Bill
I enjoyed that. I didn't know the number of years, but you know, the 10 years and the number ones and I enjoyed all that shit.

01:10:29.36
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:10:30.43
Bill
I really did. um but But, and I have no issue with Sammy Hagar.

01:10:35.16
Mike
Well.

01:10:35.28
Bill
I think he's an interesting individual. you know No issue. I've never had an issue with him until now.

01:10:40.94
Mike
a Yep.

01:10:41.88
Bill
Because when I read that, first thing I thought was, Sammy, you need to shut the fuck up and you need to write your own book if you haven't already.

01:10:48.20
Mike
Sure.

01:10:49.01
Bill
Maybe you have, I don't know, never looked.

01:10:49.82
Mike
I don't know. I don't know.

01:10:51.32
Bill
But my opinion is he needs to shut the fuck up because two things, it's none of his fucking business what Alex Van Halen or anyone else writes about, you know because those early years had nothing to fucking do with Sammy Hager.

01:10:53.99
Mike
Right.

01:11:00.01
Mike
Right.

01:11:04.78
Mike
Right.

01:11:05.56
Bill
So who says that he has to, that Alex has to write beyond that? And I understood, I understand the point of where Alex is coming from that this was the, he's writing about, which is really cool.

01:11:16.55
Bill
I'm here in all the background and I knew some of the outskirts of where they grew up and how their life was and those sort of things.

01:11:21.51
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

01:11:23.31
Bill
But it's it's interesting as fuck so far, just hearing their progression, you know, and when they moved to LA or moved to the States and then settled in LA and all the short sort of things, very cool.

01:11:25.77
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

01:11:33.09
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:11:34.67
Bill
You know, and in how they, you can see this stuff building to where they're getting it. They're not even in like the true band yet, as far as what I've listened to.

01:11:41.14
Mike
right

01:11:42.19
Bill
um And you know, really when when you create it, I don't know if it would be like, if we went through this, okay, this sober, not mature thing, and then I'll just i'll just i throw myself on the sword, I die, you figure out you know how to do this thing and you bring in you bring in a new Darren, okay?

01:11:46.73
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:11:56.82
Mike
Bet.

01:11:59.10
Mike
Right.

01:12:00.51
Bill
So now you got now you get you know sober, not mature with with new Bill, you know maybe you find somebody named Bill or you just call him Bill.

01:12:06.43
Mike
Ah, right.

01:12:07.85
Bill
so So somebody wants to write a book about you know the original part, maybe you want to write a book and you're just like, okay, this is the original one. You and I from standing in a parking lot in Valparaiso, Indiana and building it to whatever it was, I understand that the purity of what that was to begin with, that if those are the right words, and the pur and the purity of what Van Halen was,

01:12:19.72
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Right. Sure.

01:12:27.63
Bill
I don't know what just did. Sammy Hagar just needs to shut the fuck up. I guess that's my point.

01:12:32.59
Mike
That works for me.

01:12:35.30
Bill
It just, I mean, it didn't make me bad. I was just like, you're a fucking idiot. You're just a fucking idiot.

01:12:39.10
Mike
Yeah. and since All right.

01:12:40.53
Bill
And speaking to David Lee Roth, um, look up the song and everyone out there, write this down, look up David Lee Roth forgiveness. Okay. David Lee Roth recorded a new song and it's fucking terrible.

01:12:54.96
Bill
So terrible, it's wonderful.

01:12:56.10
Mike
I'm sure.

01:12:56.82
Bill
So fucking terrible, it's wonderful.

01:12:56.87
Mike
mrs

01:12:59.18
Bill
um And i don't I don't even know why he did it, but I, again, came across it the these couple of articles and that was one of them and I'm like, yeah, it's just, it's terrible, but it's it's fun. It's so terrible, it's it's bad bad, bad, but good.

01:13:09.38
Mike
but All right.

01:13:12.28
Mike
but Okay.

01:13:13.10
Bill
All right, so anything more on Sammy Hagar? Guess not, okay.

01:13:15.32
Mike
now Now, now one, two, three lock box. that

01:13:22.19
Bill
Right. um All right. So this, I don't even know where this came from. I didn't even tag this one. What is the best way in your opinion for you to be of service to others?

01:13:35.34
Mike
The best way for me to be of service to others.

01:13:38.27
Bill
Yes.

01:13:38.96
Mike
um Um, I don't know if I knew that, i but not a fucking clue, man. i

01:13:49.95
Bill
Okay, well let's let's reword that what is that. What is the one way that you are of service to others?

01:13:54.81
Mike
I mean, there's lots of ways I'm of service to others. Um, you know, the, the first one is staying sober. Uh,

01:14:04.48
Mike
Right. I mean, you know, I do little shit for, you know, lots of people all over the place. I try to, um, I don't know. Yeah. The best way I have no clue. Uh, I just do, yeah, the next right thing and, and, and, you know, try to make other people's lives a little bit better. Um, other than that, I have no idea.

01:14:28.46
Bill
Yeah, and I don't even know, it had to have come out of a, maybe it didn't come out, I thought i was gonna say it had to have come out of a reading, but you know possibly not, but um I don't know.

01:14:35.38
Mike
Hmm.

01:14:37.93
Bill
I mean, you know the the whole thing of being a service is just like like you said, I mean, just trying to make, if nothing else, maybe try not to be a fucking shitty person, right? And trying to make our little corner of the world a ah better place, I guess, if nothing else, but...

01:14:46.81
Mike
Right.

01:14:50.93
Mike
Right.

01:14:51.97
Bill
um

01:14:52.07
Mike
Not being as big of an asshole as I could be.

01:14:56.50
Bill
Right.

01:14:57.48
Mike
Right.

01:15:00.44
Bill
ah Okay. So, um, next one, next one.

01:15:02.28
Mike
Yep. ye

01:15:06.47
Bill
So this was from God grant me, um, at our meetings, how can we tell the real winners from those that just talk to talk the ones who sound healthier than they actually are.

01:15:13.95
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:15:16.79
Bill
Uh, we need to take a look at the bigger picture of their lives. What are they doing outside of meetings? Who are their friends? Blah, blah, blah. But, um, right off the bat, if you walk into a meeting, I guess, you know, even if you don't know these individuals, how can you tell, and maybe winners is the wrong word, but you know, people who are just talking the talk type of thing, is it is it easy for you to pick somebody like that out, do you think?

01:15:35.49
Mike
Right. Oh, absolutely.

01:15:42.60
Mike
Yeah, it's, it's not difficult. Um, yeah, it's not. Yeah. Usually, uh, they're usually not very loud. Um, they're usually, um, again, you can, you can see the light in their eyes. You can, you can, um, feel the, the peace and serenity that they have in them.

01:16:03.63
Mike
um You know, you can tell and you can tell the ones that are there yeah again loud generally trying to cover something up and Yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely

01:16:17.51
Bill
And maybe maybe the people that are that are telling you how good they are, right?

01:16:23.45
Bill
Telling you how much ah much they know and all the all the things that they do and who they do them for. And yeah, the people that are kind of making a list and I don't know, the yeah, just right. It's like giving almost a giving you a verbal resume, I guess is the way to look.

01:16:36.13
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Look how fucking wonderful I am. No, thank you.

01:16:42.50
Bill
Yeah, and it's ah i it again, it came from Guy Grammy, which I thought was kind of it was kind of funny, but I immediately you know remembered, um in no specific examples you know of of anyone in particular, but it is, it's it's pretty easy. But then you know on top of that too, when when you see people that you know, because then it goes into the you know the other part of it, taking a look at that that bigger picture.

01:17:04.96
Bill
I mean, what are they doing outside of meetings? you know Who are they friends?

01:17:06.85
Mike
Right.

01:17:07.52
Bill
Who are they hanging out with? um you know That sort of thing. And you know they they always tell people like that. you know I mean, obviously, well you you and I talked about that a couple of months ago. you know, ah how good is our sobriety?

01:17:18.11
Bill
You know, ask ask the people around us, you know, cause that's, or look at the people around us.

01:17:18.19
Mike
Yep.

01:17:22.03
Bill
What are we doing?

01:17:22.23
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:17:23.55
Bill
You know, what do you say after the, in between the, our father and the serenity prayer, right? In between, yeah.

01:17:29.63
Mike
Correct, yes. Not between the serenity prayer and the Our Father, that's the easy one, right?

01:17:34.05
Bill
yeah

01:17:35.12
Mike
It's between the Our Father and the serenity prayer. What are you doing outside of that church basement?

01:17:39.82
Bill
Yeah. I had to think about that and I'm like, am I getting that right? Yeah, I am here. Cause it's one, I'm looking at the end to end the beginning of, but, um, yeah, and it is, it it's kind of funny.

01:17:45.61
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:17:49.34
Bill
I mean, when I, the more I thought about it, I'm like, yeah, it is, it's, it is pretty easy most of the time to, ah to pick those, to pick those people out, you know,

01:17:56.59
Mike
Right. As Marty used to always say, game recognizes game.

01:18:02.88
Bill
Right.

01:18:03.60
Mike
In other words, you can't bullshit a bullshitter

01:18:08.21
Bill
Well, and that goes that that kind of goes to one more little one. This is, again, I was going to say a simple one, but it is kind of simple from keep it simple. um The best amend that we can make to everyone is to stay sober. Agreed?

01:18:21.96
Mike
yeah period

01:18:24.60
Bill
Okay, next one. See, that's that's fine. i'm I'm kind of cheated checking things checking things off the off the list. um Here's one other one. Here's the kind of an older one.

01:18:35.79
Bill
we' let's go We could probably go back to what before we were sober, hopefully. But it says, today I'll list um my five, this was from Keep It Simple, can I say that? I don't know. But today I'll list my five favorite excuses.

01:18:48.14
Bill
I'll think of the last time I used each of these, what was I trying to avoid? So I guess the number one question is, you know do we are we making excuses about things today? That's number one.

01:18:58.00
Mike
Right.

01:18:58.94
Bill
Or is it better to to look at this? Hopefully pre-subbriety, right?

01:19:03.55
Mike
Right. Oh yeah. Well, you know, the biggest one and you know, the best one is it's not my fault.

01:19:15.05
Mike
I take absolutely no responsibility for any of this.

01:19:19.65
Bill
Great.

01:19:19.68
Mike
Right. Right. And, and, and in post sobriety is I take responsibility for all of this.

01:19:21.74
Bill
yeah

01:19:26.79
Mike
It is all my fault.

01:19:29.03
Bill
Right.

01:19:29.71
Mike
Good and bad.

01:19:30.95
Bill
Well, and that's the thing too, when I and whatever, whenever I wrote this down, you know, God only knows, but um you know, listing my five favorite excuses, God, if I even had one or two, even one that I was using on a regular basis.

01:19:43.22
Mike
Right.

01:19:43.67
Bill
um I mean, but that kind of not even kind of that makes me uncomfortable just even thinking about it, you know, I mean, I don't I don't want to have

01:19:49.78
Mike
Exactly.

01:19:52.45
Bill
I want to be able to, I think I'm, well, I try to be honest with everyone. I mean, you know, again, you know, does my ass look fat in these jeans?

01:19:58.11
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:20:00.95
Bill
No, you look okay. I mean, I'm not stupid, um you know, but I'm not, I'm not trying to lie, you know, to people these days and, you know, make excuses and, you know, um you know, somebody asked me if I want to do something.

01:20:03.31
Mike
Right.

01:20:06.61
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:20:12.17
Bill
I'm like, eh, you know, We'll see.

01:20:14.85
Mike
Right, right.

01:20:15.45
Bill
We'll see is probably the biggest excuse that I would use.

01:20:16.69
Mike
Yes, but...

01:20:18.49
Bill
yeah Yes, but but what if what if we do something else instead?

01:20:24.72
Mike
Right.

01:20:25.53
Bill
What if we do?

01:20:25.73
Mike
How about no, I don't want to do that.

01:20:28.48
Bill
Yeah, yeah nothing nothing wrong with just that that pure fucking honesty, right?

01:20:32.35
Mike
Right. No, I don't want to do that. What time do you want me there?

01:20:37.82
Bill
right Yeah, what do you what do you what are you doing and yeah what do you doing ah you know Friday night? Well, it completely depends on what follow-up question you have for me.

01:20:45.63
Mike
Right. What am I doing Friday night? Probably waiting for your dumb ass being of service somewhere.

01:20:50.56
Bill
yeah Yeah, right. Well, yeah, we know if we're asked that in a meeting, we know where that one's leading.

01:20:54.01
Mike
sir

01:20:55.66
Bill
It's like, yeah, where where and when, where and when.

01:20:55.91
Mike
Yup. Yup. Exactly. That's again, my answer. No. What time do you want me to be there?

01:21:02.10
Bill
Exactly.

01:21:04.74
Bill
think so Uh, all right. So, um, does any, does anyone know, do you think anyone knows about Monica Lewinsky anymore?

01:21:12.81
Mike
Um, probably not, but

01:21:12.94
Bill
right So here's, here's the funny part. And, um, I, uh, Dax Shepard's podcast, which I talk about, it's called armchair experts.

01:21:23.07
Bill
I mean, I, I was flipping through whatever. Oh, um, real quick, uh, Mark Barrett, did you see that he had, uh, Ron Livingston on the dude from office space?

01:21:30.23
Mike
Uh, Oh no, I did not. And from, uh, and, uh, what the hell was the, um, the sobriety show that he did, um, uh, starts with a B goddamn.

01:21:33.67
Bill
Yeah. On.

01:21:42.72
Bill
Oh yeah, louder milk.

01:21:43.43
Mike
Oh yeah.

01:21:43.73
Bill
Louder milk.

01:21:44.24
Mike
That's it. Doesn't start with a B at all.

01:21:44.87
Bill
yeah Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. No. Yeah, you're right. It's powder milk.

01:21:48.68
Mike
Right.

01:21:50.69
Bill
But yeah, so um let's talk about that instead. I'd rather talk about him rather than Monica Lewinsky's. I just thought about it.

01:21:55.40
Mike
All right.

01:21:56.52
Bill
um So he had him on and Ron Livingston's wife, can't remember her name. I looked her up because to see if I would recognize her, but apparently Mark interviewed her at some point.

01:22:05.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:22:06.15
Bill
I don't remember what she does. She's an actress or producer, whatever. She's in the biz, you know? So um he had apparently, Mark had apparently interviewed her at some point.

01:22:11.06
Mike
Okay.

01:22:15.55
Bill
And it said, you know, it'd be nice to have Ron on. And same deal, Ron wasn't, you know, he wasn't promoting anything or trying to do anything, but um really, really good conversation.

01:22:21.08
Mike
Okay.

01:22:24.69
Bill
and This had to have been the one, it had to have been th Thursday. Maybe I didn't even finish it all yet.

01:22:28.64
Mike
okay

01:22:30.02
Bill
um I don't remember now. Yeah, go of course I did. Maybe it was Monday, I don't know, anyhow. um Good conversation, but he did. He brought up the the whole Loudermilk thing.

01:22:37.21
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:22:37.83
Bill
And you know, it is, it's a, if you, have you, have you seen it or no?

01:22:41.13
Mike
I've never seen it now.

01:22:42.49
Bill
Okay. So it's, I don't know if it's on Netflix or not, but that's where I watched it if it's still on there. ah But he was talking about it when the show first came out, it was on some other network.

01:22:51.89
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:22:52.34
Bill
And then he said, basically I got a big jump whenever it it popped on Netflix within the last couple of years or few years.

01:22:56.38
Mike
Right. Right. Yeah, a couple of years ago, I remember it happened.

01:22:58.99
Bill
Um, yeah.

01:23:00.18
Mike
Yeah.

01:23:01.06
Bill
And then, you know, Netflix got it and he said they got this big bump out of it because he goes, it it really didn't, uh, I think he was saying it really didn't get that big of a, it wasn't too big to begin with, but Mark asked him, he said, so how did you, you know, to get into that role?

01:23:09.34
Mike
Right.

01:23:13.55
Mike
Hmm.

01:23:13.64
Bill
Cause Ron's character, louder milk is his name in there.

01:23:16.53
Mike
Right.

01:23:16.63
Bill
Um, He plays a guy that's sober and leads a group and does all these different things. And so he said, what he did was, um, cause Mark asked him, did you go to, you know, did you research whatever?

01:23:21.21
Mike
Hmm.

01:23:26.55
Bill
And he goes, yeah, he goes, I actually went into, and he goes, I tried to do it. Um, he goes, literally, I tried to do it anonymously.

01:23:32.21
Mike
Hmm.

01:23:33.32
Bill
He goes, he goes, I didn't know how to pick a meeting, whatever. And he must've picked an open meeting. um But he goes, he goes, I'm thinking that he goes, I've seen this shit on TV. He goes, I think I'm just goingnna going to go into this big meeting, sit in the back and be able to buy myself and listen.

01:23:45.08
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:23:45.22
Bill
He goes, and Mark's like, you ended up in a small meeting. He goes, yeah, he goes, it was like seven people there. yeah And um he ended up being honest with him. You don't tell him you know this and that for a TV show.

01:23:52.65
Mike
Right?

01:23:54.01
Bill
And um and then you know and after all said and done, the people are like, oh yeah, good luck with your TV show.

01:23:54.82
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:24:00.07
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:01.49
Bill
And they're like, Mark's like, they didn't believe it. He's like, no, they fucking believe me.

01:24:04.59
Mike
Of course not.

01:24:04.75
Bill
He goes, hey because he thought I was telling a story.

01:24:08.15
Mike
Now.

01:24:09.70
Bill
And in you know it sounds like, i mean he he does he does not have a ah problem with with alcohol.

01:24:11.88
Mike
Uh huh.

01:24:15.15
Bill
But um you know but here's here's the cool part, what he said, he goes, he goes two things. He goes, first of all, he said, I came out of, he went to a couple of meetings. He he goes, I came out of these meetings. They went, well, we were shooting the show.

01:24:25.68
Bill
He goes, I realized that he goes, we can't, you know, the show is a comedy.

01:24:29.07
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:24:29.56
Bill
He goes, well, we, he goes, we cannot make fun of this stuff.

01:24:32.07
Mike
Right.

01:24:32.28
Bill
We can't make fun of the people. We can't make fun of the process. He goes, he goes, people's lives depend on this. He goes, this is some serious shit.

01:24:39.03
Mike
Right.

01:24:39.10
Bill
And he goes, we need to keep, you know, keep that in mind. and

01:24:42.19
Mike
Right.

01:24:42.74
Bill
It is one of the shows where they got a little bit, I don't know, you'll see all the cliche things in those TV shows, including that every once in a while I roll my eyes at some of these, even though I know the people, you can tell they've got somebody who's done some research.

01:24:48.63
Mike
right

01:24:56.43
Mike
Sure.

01:24:57.18
Bill
Um, but Mark said, uh, you know, how'd you feel after all said and done? He goes, well, he goes, you mean do I still drink?

01:25:03.19
Mike
hey

01:25:03.46
Bill
And he goes, he goes, I do. But he goes, you know, here's a funny part. He goes, um, he goes, I'm more mindful of, uh, of how I drink and when I drink. So I'm not saying I don't drink, but he goes rather than maybe, you know, going out and having a handful or something like that.

01:25:15.44
Bill
And if he didn't, maybe you didn't see that because I might just have one because I, he goes, he goes, I realized that I don't necessarily need it all the time. I feel better. I feel healthier. It was just really interesting. And then the rest of it, they talked about office space and of course all that different stuff, but it was just, it was a good interview.

01:25:25.31
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

01:25:30.42
Bill
But I liked the fact that, um yeah, he, it it seemed like him going to meetings and then him doing that show, this whole thing, I mean, literally, you know, kind of touched his life.

01:25:30.96
Mike
Go.

01:25:39.58
Mike
Mm-hmm. Nice.

01:25:40.50
Bill
which was, yeah, cool, but I do recommend it.

01:25:42.20
Mike
Yeah.

01:25:43.06
Bill
It was it was a good show, I enjoyed it. Again, cliche-ish, comedy-ish.

01:25:45.48
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:25:47.27
Bill
Some of the stuff is you know in eye roll here and there, but um for the most part, I mean, I think they did they did a relatively good job of you know depicting what what we do.

01:25:57.60
Mike
Right.

01:25:59.12
Bill
But you know I'm sure there was you know the keep coming backs and to work it if you work it.

01:26:01.62
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:26:02.52
Bill
It works if you work it. And I'm sure you know there's the hand holding, if I remember correctly. And you know some of the typical crosstalk this and all that stuff.

01:26:07.03
Mike
if if see

01:26:10.84
Bill
I don't know. Some of it just is kind of laughable. But um I don't know. Do you ever do that, watch watch shows like that, that have that, and just kind of, I mean, some of them just like roll your eyes at some of those? Or have you ever had those times?

01:26:22.61
Mike
don't believe I've ever watched any of them. Not really. I mean, you know, I, whatever. Um, what the Michael Keaton movie. Um, yeah, right.

01:26:29.67
Bill
Oh, yeah.

01:26:31.35
Mike
Uh, the clean and sober. Yeah.

01:26:33.25
Bill
Right.

01:26:33.35
Mike
Took me a sec. Yeah. Um, you know, yeah. And that's crap. Um, I think at one point I saw the, was it Sandra buttock? Uh, the yeah.

01:26:40.95
Bill
Oh, Bullock. Yeah. 28 days.

01:26:42.83
Mike
Yeah.

01:26:43.07
Bill
Yep.

01:26:43.65
Mike
That's garbage.

01:26:47.18
Mike
Um, I watched, uh, uh, the TV show, was it bomb? I think it was called.

01:26:52.47
Bill
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

01:26:53.16
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. That's crap. Uh, yeah.

01:26:57.31
Bill
Yeah, you know, there was somebody that I watched a couple of episodes of that because somebody somebody I met or was talking to that was that was sober had mentioned that. And I was like, oh, I'll check it out.

01:27:07.28
Mike
Right.

01:27:08.55
Bill
And I'm like, if yeah, I didn't and didn't watch that much of it, so.

01:27:08.76
Mike
right No, no, right. Yeah, I know. Yeah. People seem to like that one. And I, yeah, garbage. Um, yeah, I sit there and point out all the inaccuracies and then go, well, I'm done with that and move along.

01:27:27.10
Bill
Right.

01:27:27.76
Mike
Yeah. You know, and again, if I'm, you know, mindless television, last thing I want to be is fucking program shit. It was like when Phyllis told us not to go back to our bunks and read the big book.

01:27:38.42
Bill
Right.

01:27:39.18
Mike
Yep.

01:27:39.43
Bill
Right. Well, and there's, there's another one with, um, Will Arnett had a show, um, called flaked that I watched.

01:27:46.78
Mike
Hmm.

01:27:46.94
Bill
And, um, I've actually, it's it was a, it was a sitcom, like a 30 minute, uh, a sitcom, a couple of seasons, whatever it was.

01:27:50.63
Mike
Right.

01:27:52.93
Bill
And, um, it, it depicted, he, he did the show cause he had a, he had a relapse.

01:27:54.70
Mike
Mm

01:27:57.56
Bill
I mean, he's sober now, but he had a relapse at one point.

01:27:58.80
Mike
hmm.

01:27:59.56
Bill
And that was kind of. The show depicted, yeah I think he had mentioned that at that timeframe, you know, it was kind of a, um, again, ah a tell of his, how was relapse and stuff when again, interesting enough, but even with him, you know, being, being a so a sober guy and stuff like that, you know, being, and I think he, I think he did a 12 step or is still, you know, around 12 steps stuff, but still, you know, again, parts of it, I enjoyed the show, but parts of it just fucking hokey.

01:28:08.86
Mike
Right.

01:28:11.68
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:28:18.80
Mike
Right.

01:28:24.53
Bill
There's no way, no other way to put it.

01:28:25.06
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:28:26.23
Bill
You know, and it's just, it's almost like the, I don't know, somebody taking all the, whatever the the cliches that that we have that are cliches, you know, but just highlighting them in a weird way.

01:28:33.36
Mike
Mm hmm. Right, right.

01:28:36.85
Bill
And you're like, oh, okay, I gotcha.

01:28:38.80
Mike
hey Yep, exactly.

01:28:39.98
Bill
Okay, Sparky, settle down, settle down. okay But um yeah, I rather, like I said, um I would have rather talked about Ron Livingston than Monica Lewinsky.

01:28:50.64
Bill
We'll come back to Lewinsky. That was, it's interesting.

01:28:52.21
Mike
Alright.

01:28:53.09
Bill
The only thing that I will that i will say kind of as a, I don't know if it's even a tease, but it's just an observation is that I've never um listened to or read anything from her side of it.

01:29:03.43
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:29:05.04
Bill
Um, and it's interesting if nothing else, I've got, you know, I've got some, some, there's a, there's a joke side to it too, in my, in my brain, but, um, in listening to it, I was like, God damn, you know, I mean, there, there was, I mean, there's a human being on the other side of that, you know, what a side of that Dick, right?

01:29:07.34
Mike
Right.

01:29:12.60
Mike
Sure.

01:29:16.75
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Right. Exactly. I mean, yeah, she was, a you know, kid who got manipulated by a powerful man.

01:29:29.11
Bill
Right.

01:29:29.52
Mike
Yep.

01:29:29.97
Bill
Yeah. And, uh, and she, you know, the, the, the only thing I'll, uh, last thing I'll say about that, she did, she was talking about how she grew up and, um, very, had self-esteem issues and these sort of things and blah, blah, blah.

01:29:40.18
Bill
And I'm like, Oh boy, you can, you're just painting the picture for how you, how you ended up in that circumstance.

01:29:44.96
Mike
Right.

01:29:45.17
Bill
Not necessarily her fault, you know, whatever the case is, but yeah, it's, you know, it's, uh, yeah, somebody, she, you know, she got, she got, uh, you know, pulled in by, yeah. I mean the fucking president, you know what I mean?

01:29:55.78
Mike
Yep.

01:29:56.81
Bill
I mean, I don't know, given the right amount of money or fame, I might've sucked Bill Clinton's dick. I mean, I don't know.

01:30:00.48
Mike
Oh, I, I'm sure I would have.

01:30:03.25
Bill
I was going to say 20 bucks is 20 bucks, but I mean, it's, it's turned out to be more than 20 bucks.

01:30:05.22
Mike
Exactly.

01:30:07.77
Bill
But yeah, she, she was going through it and ah he surprisingly, and he, he's a better interviewer or, or host now than he was, you know, five years ago, granted growth and stuff like that.

01:30:18.25
Bill
Um, but he, he handled that really well and the interview went really well and he talked about it, but, um, Again, it was done surprisingly well is all I'm gonna say about it.

01:30:25.54
Mike
yeah

01:30:26.25
Bill
So So there all right, but what do you think?

01:30:26.61
Mike
Cool.

01:30:29.47
Bill
I mean, I I don't know I whatever we've we've done enough work this year's done. So fuck it 2025 sucks, man yeah we We fucked up already oh well, I guess we give up Yeah, but on that note, what do you think my friend your turn?

01:30:34.21
Mike
Right. Yeah, man. Can't wait. 26 man. That's my year. All right. Well, thank you for listening to a another episode of sober, not mature.

01:30:54.96
Mike
Go out there and do something nice for somebody else this week and don't tell anybody you did it. All right, now I'm trying to pull the thing up because you know I don't have this one memorized yet. So here we go. ah From the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time till the ends of the earth, always and eternally, fuck you.

01:31:19.31
Mike
Now it's that time, kids. It's time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here. Climb over that gate, dream the impossible dream, and keep fucking off forever.

01:31:38.25
Bill
Yeah, I had to unmute and laugh at you when you were and you were doing that.

01:31:41.14
Mike
so

01:31:43.03
Bill
Yeah, I wouldn't, usually I'm not close enough to the mute button, I just had to be, I was making a note about that, and we talked about Ron Livingston, and then I'm like, oh, I'm gonna laugh at him real quick.

01:31:51.29
Mike
hey

01:31:52.94
Bill
But yeah, I don't know, we we did we did some work, so that that is what it is.

01:31:55.69
Mike
We, we, we did a podcast.

01:31:58.52
Bill
We did, we did a podcast.

01:31:59.27
Mike
Here you go. Here you go. Right there in your ear hole.

01:32:03.68
Bill
And then, you know what, next, God, for the next, one, two, three, next four Fridays, I'm actually gonna be two hours behind you. I'm gonna be in the old mountain time.

01:32:14.50
Mike
Nice.

01:32:14.67
Bill
Only time i've I've been in, I was in mountain time for Kimmy's wedding and that was for you know less than 48 hours, but it'll be, yeah, I'll be working.

01:32:19.51
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.

01:32:23.76
Bill
The only thing that will be weird though, yeah, I'm working like seven to four, which will be, you know on on Fridays I'll get off at,

01:32:27.87
Mike
Right.

01:32:30.86
Bill
So I'll get up at fucking two in the afternoon, which would be fucking weird.

01:32:33.72
Mike
Right.

01:32:34.70
Bill
Then we'll be recording at like five o'clock at night. I'll be recording.

01:32:38.24
Mike
Right.

01:32:38.32
Bill
So yeah, eating my pizza. I'll literally be the early bird. So I'll get done with work.

01:32:44.06
Mike
All right.

01:32:45.42
Bill
I'll be eating pizza at fucking 3.30 in the afternoon. Here's my dinner, bitch.

01:32:49.23
Mike
With the other old man.

01:32:51.10
Bill
What the fuck do I care? You know what I eat when I'm fucking hungry?

01:32:54.43
Mike
out

01:32:55.92
Bill
You live by no goddamn rules.

01:32:58.07
Mike
That's right.

01:33:00.04
Bill
Alright man, well, I love you brother.

01:33:01.95
Mike
I love you too.

01:33:03.06
Bill
And we'll talk soon.

01:33:04.17
Mike
We shall.

01:33:05.56
Bill
Bye.

01:33:06.70
Mike
Bye.