SoberNotMature - Episode 151 (This Sounds Like A Box Of Car Horns)
This week we have a whole lot of nonsense, with some sobriety sprinkled in. Yep, it's Mike and Bill this week.
Mike started out with his reading and it was about believing. We are not told "what" to believe, but "how" to believe and that is a wonderful thing. We had a good talk about it.
Then it was stories from Albuquerque, we talked about relapse, what motivates us, humility, shame, Dr. Seuss and Schoolhouse Rock, the We of the program, DUI statistics and Alex Van Halen.
Oh yeah, and a quick story about a blown out boob.
Enjoy the episode.
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Store www.sobernotmatureshop.com
00:00:01.38
Bill
all right everyone welcome once again to another episode of sober not mature and uh yeah we're running well technically i'm an hour i'm an hour ahead of the game because uh i'm in mountain time but yeah we're four minutes off
00:00:14.02
Mike
ooh Right.
00:00:17.15
Bill
yeah that it matters but hey we had that we had one of those rare pre-meetings that we had to talk about some shit so yeah shit that you people don't need to fucking hear that's what it's right right but it it had to be said so you know whether we whether it needed to be heard it's a it's a different story but it had to be said there's a there's a different story so
00:00:18.38
Mike
right
00:00:21.40
Mike
o
00:00:26.18
Mike
ah Guess what? I didn't need to hear it either. Right. Right.
00:00:38.11
Bill
But yeah, you know, so I'll talk about it more, but day it's fucking weird, man. It's a little after five o'clock here, obviously in the old mountain time. And and I'm thinking about it. i'm I'm going to leave at like 8 a.m. tomorrow. So I'm heading out to Phoenix ah tomorrow and we're checking time and stuff. It's about seven, eight hours, whatever it is. But that'll put me in right at three o'clock if I leave it like eight.
00:00:56.84
Bill
um so i'm like god i can i can get done with this do everything i need to do probably watch tv for a couple hours and still get a good night's sleep i'm like like it's a fucking dream but uh last thing i'm too far south and west to be this fucking cold though i'll tell you that much that's all it's all got us
00:01:05.58
Mike
Nice.
00:01:15.57
Mike
Uh-huh. I saw that post. Yup.
00:01:18.45
Bill
yeah That's all like ah it it was I It wasn't, I look, I've got everything. I'll explain it later, but I get it. I'm looking at the way I see it. I'm like, fuck, cause I saw it in the forecast that it was snowing.
00:01:25.21
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:01:26.55
Bill
But again, I'll, I'll explain that later.
00:01:26.67
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:01:28.23
Bill
We got more important things to get to than my, than my, my ABQ rambles.
00:01:29.99
Mike
Dewey.
00:01:32.50
Bill
That's the other thing, by the way, I think people can't fucking spell Albuquerque. That's why, that's why everyone says ABQ and I'm one of them.
00:01:36.79
Mike
Ah.
00:01:39.52
Bill
Every time I tried to type this shit out as I'm doing, so I'm trying to put together this post from all the running around I did. and Every time I come across Albuquerque, I'm like, I get it wrong. I mean, it auto corrects me every time on my computer.
00:01:49.87
Bill
I'm like, how the fuck do you smell this goddamn thing?
00:01:51.99
Mike
Right.
00:01:52.89
Bill
I'm like, it's ABQ. That's it. Thank you, airport codes.
00:01:56.21
Mike
Right.
00:01:57.76
Bill
All right. and ah For now, enough of my rambling. Do you have a reading?
00:02:00.94
Mike
Okay. but Yeah.
00:02:04.70
Bill
Everyone, everyone's gotten used to our reading as a brand new year.
00:02:05.09
Mike
ie Right.
00:02:07.10
Bill
We're not giving up that shit yet.
00:02:09.30
Mike
Exactly. All right. um I do have a reading. ah Give me a second here. I'm friggin tired. All right, it's And I don't want to hear about your weather either because yeah we'll get into that when you get into yours I'll get into mine.
00:02:23.27
Bill
Okay.
00:02:23.44
Mike
But here we go This is actually from keep it simple ah This is from a couple days ago and I liked it and I marked it and here we go um He who is swift to believe is swift to forget. Abraham Joshua Herschel. Life is full of, by the way, I looked him up, he's a rabbi, civil rights dude. Yeah, kind of seemed like kind of cool guy. And plus he's a Pollock Jew, so he can be all bad. All right. um Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers.
00:02:59.65
Mike
We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people's ideas may not fit us. Hmm. The program doesn't tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it.
00:03:23.50
Mike
When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe me what we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a higher power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget.
00:03:49.36
Mike
Prayer for the day. Higher power. Help me to know you and help me to know the truth. Action for the day. Today, I'll think about my first step.
00:03:59.97
Mike
Do I truly believe I'm powerless over my disease?
00:04:05.13
Bill
Oh, that was it? Shit.
00:04:07.48
Mike
That was it.
00:04:08.67
Bill
Yeah, and that's it. That's a funny part, the and I always forget that when you read the Keep It Simple ones. the The Keep It Simple actions are usually shorter than the God-grant-me ones.
00:04:16.02
Mike
Right. and
00:04:17.30
Bill
So, um and I started, you know, usually when the action comes on, I started unmuting right away, so I, you know, so I could talk, you know, after you're done.
00:04:23.87
Mike
Sure.
00:04:24.72
Bill
But this time i'm like I'm like, oh, you just started the action. I'm like, oh, fuck.
00:04:28.12
Mike
yeah
00:04:29.24
Bill
all right so we we talked a little bit about the the first step um last week obviously but i think that's a resounding yes yeah because what did it say we're power it what does it say the
00:04:33.73
Mike
Right.
00:04:37.78
Mike
Uh, I think I'll think about my first step.
00:04:41.22
Bill
but
00:04:42.83
Mike
Do I truly believe I'm powerless over my disease?
00:04:46.79
Bill
hmm let me think here for a minute i would say yes and then uh yeah we had uh we had january 6 to come up uh obviously this week on on monday too um which you know again if ah january 6 has nothing to do with all the political hubbub and shit that happened a few years ago or whenever the fuck it was um it's a reading in the 24 hour book and uh even
00:04:49.04
Mike
back Yes.
00:05:01.70
Mike
Hubba blue. Right.
00:05:10.70
Bill
Matt from ah Sober Friends did ah did a post on it, um and I saw a couple of people actually post it, which was, I mean, on Instagram, which I don't remember seeing that last year, so um it was nice because it's, I don't know, I think people could just Google, you know, 24 hours a day, January 6th, and probably see the see the reading.
00:05:13.87
Mike
Right? Oh, yeah. Hmm.
00:05:30.30
Bill
And if ah if you have a couple of minutes, do it, because um it is, it's a it's a backbone of, well, it was a backbone,
00:05:30.74
Mike
Right.
00:05:39.05
Mike
i I try to that again.
00:05:41.19
Bill
i I wasn't speaking. I'm going to start speaking now. Okay.
00:05:44.12
Mike
Ah.
00:05:45.15
Bill
For us, it was, it was a backbone or the backbone of our program, obviously from the start.
00:05:49.83
Mike
Right.
00:05:50.80
Bill
Uh, but you know, it, it was fun to see other people say the same thing this year in not just Cleveland people on Facebook from our group, just random fucking people that were posted about it, but yeah it was great, you know?
00:05:51.08
Mike
Right.
00:05:56.42
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yeah.
00:06:02.63
Mike
Absolutely. And if you don't know, um, January six, when we were at the Keating center, when we did our meditation every morning, we read out of the 24 hour book and we read whatever that day happened to be. And then when we were done, we read January six every day.
00:06:19.53
Bill
Right. Yeah, and it was ah it literally became, you know ingrained and when, when Mike and I, and if you've listened to us and listen to this podcast um for any amount of time you'll hear us every once in a while say not today, you know, and that was the end thing you know can I forget it ever for a minute blah blah blah even for one day and.
00:06:24.13
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:06:32.46
Mike
Right.
00:06:36.64
Mike
Right.
00:06:37.60
Bill
you know we ended that that reading every meditation time every morning with you know not today so we say that all the time hey you get it go i don't know fuck a cow well not today you know are you gonna you're gonna do this that oh not today
00:06:42.64
Mike
Not today.
00:06:48.22
Mike
Not today.
00:06:51.44
Mike
Not today. Right. Generally, right. Negative things. Anything negative. are Is that going to happen? Not today. I ain't saying it's not going to happen tomorrow. And it sure as what fuck probably happened in the past, but not today.
00:07:06.65
Bill
you you you probably fucked a cow in the past let me write this one down yeah that's true and I get I get drunk a lot in Wisconsin so shit I you know I did black out every once in a while I blacked I could have fucked yeah
00:07:09.87
Mike
bad It's a possibility. Anything's fucking possible.
00:07:21.52
Mike
Actually, yeah, the odds more in your favor to be fucking a cow ah Wow That cow was the best fuck I ever had Right
00:07:25.41
Bill
Okay. Let's, let's just, say let's change the subject. at what and I talk about that anymore.
00:07:33.24
Bill
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was talking about her cow. Oh, Jesus Christ. But, um, yeah, unfortunately, and I do, I don't say the word unfortunately very often, but yes, unfortunately the odds are more, they're more likely to that, that I would have fucked a cow that you just, just by sheer numbers, you know?
00:07:51.53
Mike
Exactly. Want a whole lot of cows in Detroit.
00:07:52.74
Bill
Yeah. yeah and I but more likely I would have fucked a I don't know a block of cheese because it's the it's it's the cheese state you know so let's see okay there's swiss swiss cheese already has holes in it so you know hey hey hello ah okay well that that degenerated yeah
00:07:58.60
Mike
o Right. Put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds.
00:08:12.07
Mike
Yay. but Very quickly. All right, so
00:08:19.60
Bill
All right, so back to the reading. but So Swift to forget, I mean, that's one of the things to begin with and ah the the way the reading was of e something to remember and then Swift to forget, which we I know it's something we heard again from the beginning you know that we as as you know people in recovery and alcoholics, drug addicts, that sort of thing are usually you know quick forgetters. We learn something, the reason we have to to do this stuff and repeat this stuff over and fucking over again is because it does.
00:08:46.33
Bill
It literally goes in fucking one ear and out the other and we're like, oh, everything's fine.
00:08:48.94
Mike
Right.
00:08:50.47
Bill
i I'm good.
00:08:51.09
Mike
Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Right. Right. Exactly. You know, wake up in the morning, take a look around and go, hell, shit's pretty good. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
00:09:02.36
Bill
Right. Maybe my life is manageable. Let's try this.
00:09:04.41
Mike
Sure.
00:09:06.59
Bill
yeah And later that day, like you said, you end up you know on the quarter with a needle in your arm. So, and you know, with ah dicking a dick and a cow and a beer in my hand.
00:09:10.98
Mike
Exactly. My dick and a cow.
00:09:20.63
Mike
Right.
00:09:21.52
Bill
no Now at that point, I probably have a bottle of jacket. Am I dicking a cow in a bottle of jack?
00:09:24.60
Mike
Oh yeah.
00:09:27.44
Mike
Mmm.
00:09:29.33
Bill
ah Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine what our episode title and pictures are going to be. All right. But and anyhow, like quick forgetters.
00:09:38.32
Mike
All right. So yes, we have apparently. Um, so, but the reason I chose this reading was about the belief thing.
00:09:50.29
Mike
You know, um, yeah I mean, it is, it, it, for me, the reading spoke about the power, higher power thing.
00:09:50.33
Bill
Right.
00:09:56.00
Mike
And, and and things that we believe and what we believe in. I thought the key phrase in the reading was, you know, the program really doesn't tell us what to believe, which is one of the beautiful things of the 12-step program.
00:10:09.12
Bill
Right.
00:10:09.44
Mike
Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics s Anonymous, whatever anonymous you happen to belong to.
00:10:16.02
Mike
It doesn't. I mean, all it tells us is we have to believe in something. We have to believe in something other than ourselves, you know, something greater than ourselves, you know, which isn't too tough to find because it's just, you know, I'm a garbage variety drunk man.
00:10:21.98
Bill
Right.
00:10:30.29
Mike
I'm just this one dude sitting here. There's plenty of shit that's bigger than me, you know, and if that's something I had to learn because, you know, God knows I thought I was
00:10:34.32
Bill
Right.
00:10:39.29
Mike
I was king of the fucking world.
00:10:43.27
Mike
Stumbling down the driveway with my pants around my ankles. King of the fucking world, right?
00:10:46.75
Bill
Right, i stumble I stumble and fall better than everyone.
00:10:48.76
Mike
okay That's right.
00:10:53.53
Bill
But I mean, it's it's funny that you brought that up because that's exactly what, um that's like right in the middle of the things I wrote down and I put like a little star by it, how to believe, you know?
00:11:01.94
Mike
Right.
00:11:02.10
Bill
and And that is, it doesn't, ah the steps, I mean, or suggestions, it was something that just, one of the readings over the last couple of days talked about that, it might have been today, yeah, it was talking about the the steps and the fact that they're suggested, and um I almost kind of set that one aside, but it was kind of a long thing, and I'm like, yeah, we'll we end up, it was kind of general things that we usually talk about anyhow, but I'm glad this came up, because it is, they don't tell us, you know, you have to, all the steps are suggested.
00:11:08.40
Mike
I think it was today. Yeah. Mm hmm. Right.
00:11:25.94
Mike
Right.
00:11:26.69
Bill
I mean, if you want to, if you want, you know, get what we get, do what we do type of thing, but
00:11:28.63
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:11:30.88
Bill
um But again, how to believe in, not saying that you have to believe in this, but you know giving us the that the ability to find a path on our own and having somebody in the Keating Center tell us, you don't have to believe in anything, just know it's not you, which is exactly what you just said.
00:11:36.16
Mike
Right.
00:11:40.06
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:11:44.79
Mike
Right. Yep.
00:11:46.18
Bill
um And then over time, I know both of us, and and you've developed, I think, a more specific idea of what your higher power is, um you know meaning you know love and and all sorts of things.
00:11:52.14
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:11:57.10
Bill
It's ah it's ah at least ah a semi-tangible thing.
00:11:57.39
Mike
Sure.
00:11:59.92
Mike
Right.
00:12:00.00
Bill
um I have no conception, but I don't need one. you know If somebody said, um you know if you want to live, you need to draw a picture of your higher power down.
00:12:03.53
Mike
Right.
00:12:09.76
Bill
I'm like, just fucking kill me if I can.
00:12:10.50
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:12:11.86
Bill
Because I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a who, I don't know if it's a what, I don't know if it's a if it's a thing. But there's ah there's a there's forces, there's something outside of me that that helps me manage my life.
00:12:18.46
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:12:23.59
Bill
And whatever it is, I don't need to know what it is.
00:12:24.08
Mike
Right. Right.
00:12:26.33
Bill
I don't have to put a fucking picture. I don't have to d i don't have to walk into a building you know where there's a steeple on top and that's where my higher power is, which is a beautiful thing because I could be anywhere in the world at any time of the day and and I have my my higher power is with me, which is kind of, it's comforting.
00:12:30.46
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:12:40.43
Mike
Right.
00:12:41.86
Bill
you know
00:12:42.18
Mike
It is, it is, you know, and I mean, you hear real early on, especially people, you know, struggling, they'll say, you know, use the group, use the program, use whatever.
00:12:51.28
Bill
Right.
00:12:52.51
Mike
And you know what? It's, it's funny when, when I started, um, actually kind of tried it and it wasn't working all that well, you know, for me.
00:13:03.00
Mike
Um, and, and now, you know, 14 plus years into this thing, using the group and using the program really works well for me, you know, because it is tangible, and you know, being, you know, whatever, man, being an atheist and and, and, and, um, you know, not believing in magical, mystical, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:13:13.66
Bill
Right.
00:13:25.84
Mike
I need something tangible to go. Yes. Look at this thing that is more powerful than I am. And, um, you know, uh, the group, the program, you know, again, that building, well, it's in the basement of the building with the steeple on it, oh you know, right.
00:13:43.19
Bill
Yeah, that's true. That is true.
00:13:44.84
Mike
yeah I mean, yeah yeah, you said draw a picture of your higher power. I draw a fucking church basement with a bunch of scumbags sitting down there drinking coffee, you know, and my picture, they'd be smoking cigarettes, because there'd still be smoker meetings, because that's, yeah that's paradise to me, baby.
00:13:54.15
Bill
yeah
00:14:04.15
Bill
But yeah, and that's and I'm trying to think if, um and I don't remember, I may have used you know the group to begin with it. I mean, those this first, took up until whatever point that Dan said that or whoever said that to us, I don't remember if that was a week or two weeks into it or when it was, two days into it.
00:14:15.52
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:14:19.02
Mike
All right.
00:14:20.28
Bill
I don't remember what I did up to that point, you know? But... um
00:14:25.87
Mike
Held on with your fingernails.
00:14:27.77
Bill
Yeah, but not even.
00:14:28.62
Mike
Right.
00:14:28.65
Bill
i just i was just It was fucking cloudy and aimless. And you know that's exactly what I was. I was cloudy and aimless.
00:14:34.19
Mike
Right.
00:14:34.50
Bill
you know but um But the other thing, too, is that when I when i talk about you know coming home from a sobriety standpoint, it's Cleveland. And you know that that's my that's my sobriety home, my sobriety birthplace, if you want to put it that way.
00:14:42.14
Mike
Right.
00:14:47.45
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:14:48.13
Bill
And you know coming back to Cleveland, getting together, whether it's ah you know it's a poker game or you know we go out with a bunch of people or we end up in a meeting or whatever the deal is,
00:14:55.00
Mike
Right.
00:14:57.54
Bill
I mean, that is, that's me getting plugged back in. But as you were saying, that's something tangible.
00:15:02.85
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:15:03.17
Bill
And I thought about it, the the readings I do every day, I mean, Instagram or whatever, that's in, that's, that is what it is. I mean, granted, there's a purpose with this stuff and they're sober people and I post readings, blah, you know, but that's not, that's not me kind of like plugging into a recovery thing.
00:15:12.04
Mike
Sure.
00:15:17.04
Bill
It's, it is, it's doing those readings every day. And then this, you know,
00:15:20.62
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:15:21.01
Bill
um But those readings every day, that's hugely important. just And again, it's I've said this a million times, it literally takes me no more than 20 minutes, 15 usually to do my readings, but at the most it takes me 20 minutes.
00:15:31.21
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:15:36.93
Bill
And that's reading, you know, four little readings out of four little books. And and that's it. And it does it it grounds me and it and it plugs me back into, you know, in the morning, it's it plugs me back into Hey, motherfucker.
00:15:44.12
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:15:51.91
Bill
You're a goddamn drunk and you need to do this shit. And I'm like, Oh, okay. Oh, side note. I'm actually really enjoying touchstones that book. And the thing that is, it's it's supposed to be geared towards men.
00:16:03.51
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:16:04.92
Bill
And every once in a while, there'll be a line that says, you know as men, we do this. But it's not guy, this guy, this man, man, man.
00:16:09.19
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:16:12.22
Bill
It doesn't talk about penis or balls or anything like that.
00:16:14.03
Mike
Oh.
00:16:16.04
Bill
It doesn't say, you know gentlemen, grab your balls. We're about to do a reading. um Nothing like that is right.
00:16:20.34
Mike
Well, that's just applied.
00:16:23.25
Bill
But it's usually just like one line when it talks about you know we as men or something like that.
00:16:26.53
Mike
Right.
00:16:27.39
Bill
It's almost like reading some of these other books you know that has the word God in it, but even less. you know um But they're just some they're really good, just solid readings, and it's something different. you know um Just a different thing that I've, I don't know, I had was on that other that other book, nothing wrong with it.
00:16:37.20
Mike
Right.
00:16:42.32
Bill
um A Day at a Time is the one I was reading and I enjoyed it, but you know it was three, four years, something like that.
00:16:42.36
Mike
Right.
00:16:46.97
Mike
Sure.
00:16:47.09
Bill
So you know just it's something something fresh and original, and God damn it, I like it.
00:16:52.63
Mike
Cool. Well, it turns out I have a copy of it. I found it the other day.
00:16:56.10
Bill
Oh, do you?
00:16:56.72
Mike
Yeah. So, so eventually I will dive into it myself, but not this year.
00:17:01.40
Bill
Yeah, it's it's enjoyable, it really is. So um I wrote down, oh God, can I read this? How will we, oh, how will we live our lives? I wrote that down and then um choose the best beliefs.
00:17:14.04
Mike
Right.
00:17:14.05
Bill
That was, so you know after I wrote down, um obviously it was the how to believe type of thing, but then you know how will we live our lives ah was in there, that was one line. But I mean, that's true, we talk about that all the time.
00:17:24.38
Bill
I mean, it's one thing just to, once again, you know from the Serenity Prayer to the Our Father, you know we can show up and we can,
00:17:29.00
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:17:30.30
Bill
we can put on you know our our quote unquote Sunday best you know and and go to a meeting and you know act nice for you know for an hour or however long it is.
00:17:34.43
Mike
Right.
00:17:38.49
Bill
But um but yeah, how are how are we living our lives? I mean, it's it's important, right?
00:17:41.58
Mike
Exactly. Right. Exactly. And I mean, and, and we find those beliefs, we find those truths, our own, well, not necessarily our own truths, cause my own truth is all fucked up, but, um, find the truth or the truths and, um, yeah.
00:17:57.49
Mike
And then, and then live them.
00:18:00.15
Bill
Right.
00:18:00.20
Mike
Don't just go, you know, everybody believe this and then fucking act some other way. we That doesn't work. You know, I have to, to take these beliefs and, and like it says, believe them and, and, and know that they're the truth and live by them. And if we do that, ah got a shot at this thing.
00:18:18.53
Bill
Right, yeah, actually, I believe what you're saying is actually doing the work. Just getting the information is not enough.
00:18:22.44
Mike
Right.
00:18:23.72
Bill
We've gotta take the action, do the work, do all that stuff, you know?
00:18:24.12
Mike
Exactly.
00:18:26.83
Mike
Yeah. Put a bit in practice.
00:18:27.10
Bill
So, all right. Which, um I mean, and that is, you know, in we've talked about this before, but it still blows my mind a little bit, and I get it now. I mean, obviously, it being brand new and people talking about, you know, working steps, and I'm like, how the fuck do you work words?
00:18:42.66
Bill
You know, I mean, there how do you work a step?
00:18:43.37
Mike
right
00:18:46.07
Bill
I didn't understand that ah concept. I'm like, I can read it. I can learn about it. But how the fuck do you work it? But then, you know again, all those things come into play because as soon as all all these steps and all these things that we learn, again, whether you're a 12-step person or not, you know these things that you learn on a daily basis as you're getting sober and you know as you're continuing to stay sober,
00:19:07.23
Bill
they get ingrained in your life. And that's you working your recovery, you know, it just, it's the same goddamn thing, you know, so yeah, we've got a book that lists out 12 different things, which quite honestly, yeah I said it before, even if you're not a 12 step person, I would guarantee 80% out of those 12 steps, what nine of them, 10, maybe nine and a half of them.
00:19:10.35
Mike
ye
00:19:22.77
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right.
00:19:26.63
Bill
yeah um You know, even non 12 step people, you're doing those on a daily fucking basis, and you don't even know it, you know, you know, so yeah, it's yeah, we're going to take in the action the whole bit.
00:19:27.33
Mike
Sure.
00:19:31.57
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Yep.
00:19:37.55
Mike
so Right.
00:19:41.33
Bill
Yes.
00:19:42.35
Mike
Yes. So anyway, yes, that is one of the wonderful things about the program is it doesn't say what you have to believe.
00:19:43.61
Bill
yeah
00:19:48.06
Mike
It just shows you how to believe.
00:19:50.60
Bill
Right, yeah.
00:19:51.16
Mike
and something that's truthful and and bigger than you and good. And and yeah, that's it's all wonderful stuff, man. Why wouldn't you want that in your fucking life?
00:20:00.22
Bill
Right. Yeah, well, I mean, we he we didn't want it in our lives for how many fucking years?
00:20:05.04
Mike
Well, yeah. I guess we were goddamn idiots.
00:20:09.80
Bill
Yeah, that's that's for goddamn sure because we're drunken fucking drugged up idiots is what we were. Right.
00:20:15.44
Mike
Yes, hi.
00:20:17.38
Bill
Hello.
00:20:18.56
Mike
okay
00:20:18.66
Bill
Nice to meet you. So, so any anything else from the reading or we about beat it up or
00:20:25.10
Mike
I think that covers it.
00:20:27.07
Bill
okay so um Since we talked about weather already, you said you don't want me to talk about my weather.
00:20:30.40
Mike
Hmm.
00:20:34.42
Bill
First of all, the only reason I brought it up is because I'm in fucking New Mexico.
00:20:34.70
Mike
Right.
00:20:38.62
Mike
Uh huh.
00:20:39.50
Bill
I'm like two hours from the goddamn Mexico border, three hours maybe?
00:20:43.17
Mike
Yeah.
00:20:43.14
Bill
I don't know.
00:20:44.34
Mike
Hmm.
00:20:44.54
Bill
In my opinion, it's really fucking close to Mexico, which is supposed to be hot and it's not hot here.
00:20:47.96
Mike
Right. Right.
00:20:50.72
Bill
it's It's in the 30s and it's snowed. like the The biggest thing and literally why I posted that is that I got this weather warning because these places I'm going to, I'll usually put it in my weather app so I can see what the weather's going to be like as I'm going in and out of these places.
00:21:01.79
Mike
Right.
00:21:03.73
Bill
um But literally I get this alert. It's like, oh, winter storm something or whatever, winter warning or weather warning.
00:21:08.08
Mike
isn Right.
00:21:09.87
Bill
and i'm got i'm like what the fuck's going on now granted they said some of the higher elevations you know the mountains shit like that yep some snow worse blah blah blah but um yeah maybe absolutely just snow but watch for icy conditions to traffic this and bundle up and frost bites and i'm like
00:21:15.55
Mike
right
00:21:23.43
Mike
Frostbite. Yeah, that was the one that got me.
00:21:26.08
Bill
I swear to God, and the funniest part was, is by the time it was, whatever day it was that I posted that, I think Thursday, yesterday, yeah.
00:21:32.08
Mike
ahha ah
00:21:33.37
Bill
It was Wednesday when the warning came in. I should have, I should have taken a screenshot of it, because I was fucking laughing. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't really happy with the fact that it was that cold, because I'm in, goddamn, I'm in the fucking Southwest, and it's, you know, 25 degrees or 30 degrees, but um it wasn't bad.
00:21:39.29
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. a
00:21:46.69
Mike
right the
00:21:49.65
Bill
I mean, it's, again, it it snowed a little bit. It dusted up my car and got on the sidewalk a little bit.
00:21:53.06
Mike
Right.
00:21:54.70
Bill
um I mean it look like something that happens on ah on a random Tuesday in like May in Cleveland or or Wisconsin you know.
00:22:00.07
Mike
Right. Right. Exactly.
00:22:02.73
Bill
ah But um yeah you guys got some you guys got some weather by you right this whole storm is coming I guess right.
00:22:08.47
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, not a lot of snow never is over on the West side. I've said that before, but yeah, it was, you know, it was, uh, it was 14 degrees this morning.
00:22:13.21
Bill
right
00:22:17.60
Bill
hu
00:22:17.64
Mike
It was, yeah, it was fucking cold.
00:22:22.54
Bill
Yeah, can I think that today, literally when what I got up today here, it was like 25, you know, which it's like that's the coldest that it it had been.
00:22:27.30
Mike
see
00:22:29.06
Bill
But um so again, side side note here that the place that I'm in, first of all, very cool. It's kind of a, it's a loft where the bedroom is. So the bedroom, bathroom are upstairs. It's not an open concept loft, but you can see, and you probably saw the pictures, but
00:22:40.40
Mike
Right.
00:22:42.67
Mike
Yeah.
00:22:42.81
Bill
So that the stairs go up and you can see obviously coming down that way. So the living room and kitchen is on the first floor street level literally right it's a busy ish street but not bad it hasn't been that noisy.
00:22:49.58
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:22:53.80
Bill
But um the weird part is and I didn't notice it I wouldn't have booked it there's been a handful of other places I've looked at um in different areas that have concrete floors. And it's not like a shitty concrete.
00:23:05.50
Bill
you know It's a finished concrete, but it's a concrete floor in the living room.
00:23:07.48
Mike
Ah. ah ah ah
00:23:09.24
Bill
um And however the heating system is set up in here, it's it's really fucking cold downstairs, and it gets really fucking warm up here. So um basically what I do is and I set my work stuff up upstairs towards the back, first of all, so I can look out.
00:23:24.63
Bill
you know I like having light, so I look out the back part, but get myself away from the street, too, just from the noise.
00:23:25.77
Mike
Hmm.
00:23:30.33
Bill
um But had I set up downstairs, it would have been I would have been fucking freezing because I would have been literally by the wall, by the front door. It's just it's not set up, I don't think, for this type of weather.
00:23:40.73
Mike
Right.
00:23:40.83
Bill
and And I'm guessing in the summer, it's probably the other way around. It's hot as fuck downstairs and cold as fuck up here because you know the thermostat's right in the middle of the living room. um So basically what I have to do during the day, I turn the heat down to like 62 down there so it doesn't kick on up here.
00:23:54.30
Mike
Yeah.
00:23:56.51
Bill
And then when I go down to eat stuff like that, I turn it up to like 68, so it warms up. And then before I go back up, so before I go to bed, like an hour before I turn the heat down again, so I can go to sleep and I'm not sleeping at a sauna.
00:24:04.78
Mike
Right. Right.
00:24:10.23
Bill
Again, it's not a complaint. It's just, it's the heating system is weird. It's kind of, ah it's an older type of building, um but quiet, comfortable, no dogs, first time in a long time that I haven't been in one of these areas around dogs.
00:24:21.24
Bill
um No issues. I like it. It's been comfortable. It's been really, really nice, but Yeah, it's just ah it's it's weird because of the the temperature thing. That's all.
00:24:30.42
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah, whatever Yeah
00:24:33.30
Bill
Oh, one last thing. So and this is this is this is me being my alcoholic self, okay? So the the one night um I came up, one morning I came down, so I run the dishwasher at night and you can see there was like food spit up in the sink, or a little bit, just remnants of whatever. I'm like, what the fuck? And usually what that means is it's a garbage disposal side and it backs up and the dishwasher kicks it back up. So I went to put on the garbage disposal and it just buzzed and I'm like, oh, fuck.
00:25:00.40
Bill
you know other side of the sink works fine that drain so I know it's not the pipe it's a garbage disposal but literally I'm like what can I do so I don't have to call somebody you know call the host and have somebody fucking come in here I'm like I don't want to be bothered you know um but finally was like the next day I'm like it's because I'm like I wonder if it just clears itself whatever that didn't
00:25:05.93
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:25:19.57
Bill
And so literally she's like, okay, I'll have a maintenance guy come in. I'm like, I'm working, but I'm upstairs. Just have him come in. I don't care.
00:25:25.01
Mike
Uh huh.
00:25:25.43
Bill
I swear to God, he was here a minute. She said, basically what he's got to do is probably just reset the garbage disposal.
00:25:30.95
Mike
Now.
00:25:31.37
Bill
And I heard him come in and I heard like crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. And there's a, I, there was no tool for it, but I know how to do that. It's at the bottom of the garbage disposal. She has twisted around a little bit and then it'll run.
00:25:39.55
Mike
Right.
00:25:42.47
Bill
And then he just walked out and everything's fine. But literally ah I'm like, what can I do so I don't have to have this fixed? Cause I don't want anyone in here.
00:25:50.66
Mike
Right.
00:25:50.67
Bill
yeah But then I'm like, I'm going to get fucking blamed for it.
00:25:54.54
Mike
Right.
00:25:56.12
Bill
So anyhow, but dumb so what I looked at though, I mean, it looks like from the weather standpoint that there's some big storm. I think this area of the country where I am and then going to the West, I think is the only area of the country that's not expecting snow.
00:26:10.79
Mike
Right.
00:26:11.96
Bill
So that's coming up like next couple of days, right?
00:26:15.11
Mike
Yeah. We're supposed to get a little bit over the weekend, whatever.
00:26:18.00
Bill
Right.
00:26:18.79
Mike
Yeah.
00:26:19.70
Bill
Yeah, I think that was...
00:26:19.93
Mike
You know, it's not, no frostbite and 32 degrees. So, you know, it'll be all right.
00:26:24.65
Bill
Right. And you know, it was just...
00:26:25.62
Mike
Not as bad as you have it down there.
00:26:27.85
Bill
Well, and for me, of course, it wasn't bad. um I'm only complaining because it's like, if you went to Mexico and it was 30 degrees, you know, when you guys were visiting there, you'd be like, what what's the fuck's going on here?
00:26:35.48
Mike
Right.
00:26:37.18
Bill
You know, it's 30 degrees is fine in Cleveland, but not, it's not supposed to be fine. It's not supposed to be fine when I'm here, you know, so. But anyhow, that's part of my I don't know. It's been nice. It's been nice one where the other I like it and I'll tell you a little bit more about the running around I did um the other day, but It's it's it's fucking beautiful.
00:26:49.39
Mike
Good.
00:26:55.58
Bill
I know you've driven through this area before have you spent any time in this area Okay, so there's yeah, there's
00:26:57.56
Mike
Yeah, not really, no. And it's been a real long time since I've been through there, so yeah.
00:27:05.35
Bill
OK, but yeah, I'll I get two other things I want to I want to tell some about my stuffed upness and my little running it around. But but that's I just didn't know if you'd ever spend time here. I knew you've obviously you've obviously been in here.
00:27:16.81
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:27:17.89
Bill
All right. So um when we got done with the podcast last week, I'm not going to bring up the person's name, but you you you brought up somebody that is back out. um And it made me think of something that we haven't talked about, you know, relapse in a while.
00:27:27.56
Mike
Ah, right.
00:27:31.53
Bill
And um I don't know, I mean, it's again, we just talked about, you know, forgetting things and, you know, being quick forgetters and all those different things. So um I don't know. I mean, I thought it I thought it wouldn't hurt to have, again, a brief I guess if we talk about relapse, your opinion, my opinion, I don't even know.
00:27:48.57
Bill
There's no way to fucking prevent it. There is, but there isn't.
00:27:50.91
Mike
Hmm.
00:27:51.41
Bill
There is. I mean, there's ways to prevent it, but I don't know.
00:27:52.50
Mike
Well, of course.
00:27:54.56
Bill
So your opinion on on relapse, Mike, over to you.
00:27:58.04
Mike
Well, um, as my friend, Bill can attest, uh, relapse is not a part of sobriety. Um, you know, it was part of mine.
00:28:09.14
Mike
Absolutely. But again, I've talked about it plenty of times. I wasn't doing the work. And so, um, I had no choice but to relapse. Um, Bill has been doing the work since he got into this thing.
00:28:21.47
Mike
And Hey, guess what? He hasn't fucking relapsed yet yet.
00:28:25.45
Bill
right yeah
00:28:25.65
Mike
Um, right. You know, um, yeah, I mean, once we, once we get into this thing, and once we start back to the reading, getting some truths in our lives and some beliefs in our lives, um, we can't forget those things. Um,
00:28:42.89
Mike
because we've talked about it plenty of times, man. We don't have a choice. you know we say When we do that first step and we say we're fucking powerless, we're fucking powerless.
00:28:49.17
Bill
Right,
00:28:53.21
Mike
We're always powerless.
00:28:53.59
Bill
yeah.
00:28:54.41
Mike
I have absolutely no power over my disease, none. I have choices to today. I could choose to do what's been suggested of me to keep me from taking that first one.
00:29:08.16
Mike
but I could choose not to do those things. And if I choose not to do those things, then I don't have a choice. I thoroughly believe these things.
00:29:16.47
Bill
Right.
00:29:16.82
Mike
So, um, yeah, you know, I mean, yeah, relapse. I mean, I understand, you know, 30, 60, 90 days. Trust me.
00:29:27.40
Mike
I understand those cause I've done them plenty of times, you know, there was, there was a cycle in my life at one point. Um, you know, ah over about a year, year and a half um where I was in and out, in and out, and I could get to about 90 days and that was it, because I wasn't doing any of the fucking work really. um I was just kind of hanging around sobriety and um I'd make it about 90 days and then I'd fucking take a drink because I had to. um But, so I understand early on you're not really
00:30:06.48
Mike
grasping it, not really doing the thing, and you go back out, because you have to. But five, 10, 15 years, you know and people go out after that amount of time. um And we've seen it, and we know what happens. They stop.
00:30:27.14
Bill
Right. Right.
00:30:27.94
Mike
theyve They forget. They stop believing that this shit works. They start believing that they have some sort of power and bites you in the ass every time. um But the main thing is,
00:30:43.16
Mike
They stop. That is the simple answer to relapse. You know, um, they stopped working the program. They stopped working their program. And if, you know, I stopped working my program, I'm going back out to, um, I don't want to go back out. So I will continue to work my program today.
00:31:05.15
Bill
Right. Yeah, and I mean, um I'm glad you brought up the yet part.
00:31:11.72
Bill
Here's the cool part for me. When I thought about this, the the topic of relapse and before you had said it, I'm 100% being truthful and I didn't think about myself, you know the fact that I haven't.
00:31:23.82
Bill
And I'm glad that I don't think about that because I don't i don't want to i want to, but I don't.
00:31:25.92
Mike
Right.
00:31:29.34
Bill
I'm extremely proud of it, but it also, um I'm not leery of it, but I'm respectful of the fact you know of of what I need to do.
00:31:36.56
Mike
Right.
00:31:38.56
Bill
um i Anytime I've ever brought it up, whether it be in a conversation in front of a group of people at a meeting or anything like that, you know to this day I have not relapsed yet. And same everything that you just said, if i i know for a I don't even think, I know for a fucking fact because I've seen it, same thing you just said,
00:31:48.40
Mike
Yeah. Hmm.
00:31:57.08
Bill
if I stop doing what I need to do every single day, um I will drink again. And I don't think like we've talked about even jokingly, you know, it could be if I if I consciously made a decision, when when we hung up these microphones, and I'm like, you know what, I'm not doing any more of the work, um I would immediately walk out and buy a bottle because what's the fucking point?
00:32:05.41
Mike
Right.
00:32:16.40
Mike
ah right
00:32:17.72
Bill
you know And I don't think if it happens to be, I don't think it's going to be a gradual thing because my program, and I know, because we talked about both of our programs have changed, that may be lessened in certain areas, but gotten stronger in other areas, um stronger individually, I think, where we don't need you know these the the group and the meetings all the time, which is a good place to be.
00:32:28.75
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure. Absolutely.
00:32:40.07
Bill
um But also, we've never strayed from from the foundation, you know from the basics of what we what we learned from from day one.
00:32:40.15
Mike
Right.
00:32:43.73
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:32:48.66
Mike
Right.
00:32:49.07
Bill
But it is, it's ah it's a little it's it's a little unnerving you know because the um realizing that that it's that, you know is it that simple, right?
00:32:56.29
Mike
Uh huh.
00:32:57.89
Bill
you know um that all I need to stop doing is you know um stop praying, stop going to meetings or being around the group, you know the group would be unplugged in, um stop helping people when when I'm asked, stop doing the things I need to do, and I'm gonna and i'm goingnna relapse.
00:33:05.92
Mike
isn't
00:33:12.38
Bill
And that's crazy you know when you really think about it, that it can be that simple, um you know but it's also on the other side of things, having that be that simple, it's like, well, Jesus Christ, all I have to do is this, this, and this.
00:33:13.84
Mike
Right.
00:33:26.84
Bill
That's it, you know, and and not only will I not, you know, if I'm doing all the work, I got a goddamn good chance, like you said, of, you know, making this thing work and not drinking again, but I also have a fairly decent chance of living a fairly decent life, you know, and not just existing and not just taking up space and, you know, all those sort of things, maybe making my corner, a little, of a little corner of the world a better place.
00:33:27.71
Mike
Right.
00:33:41.64
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Yep.
00:33:51.31
Bill
But um yeah, you know what, it is, and I think that those, that the folks that do, you know, get to the, you know, the five and the 10 and the 15 and the 30 years, to me, it's got to be, you know, either, um yeah, like you said, just stopped completely, you know, maybe gradually, you know, or got a case of the fuck.
00:33:57.83
Mike
Uh huh. Sure. sure
00:34:09.20
Bill
It's like, you know, fuck it, man. I've been sober for 30 years. I can, I can deal with this.
00:34:12.52
Mike
I can handle it.
00:34:12.85
Bill
You know, yeah, I can handle it. You know, and I don't know, maybe, maybe I can handle it for, you know, but i'm I'm not willing to take that chance.
00:34:21.01
Mike
No.
00:34:21.82
Bill
You know, maybe I can, I can, you know, climb across the the side of a mountain and not fall to, you know, odds are I'm going to die in the sink.
00:34:28.63
Mike
Right. i I could jump off my roof and flat my arms real hard and maybe I'll fly.
00:34:30.04
Bill
The thing is if I take a drink, you know what, you'll be fine. You'll be okay.
00:34:38.84
Mike
Yeah, I can handle it.
00:34:38.93
Bill
You're right.
00:34:40.66
Mike
It'll be okay. I'll just I'll just flap them really hard and it'll be I'll i'll fly Right Yeah, right
00:34:47.03
Bill
Can you add me to your life insurance policy before you do that though? No offense, but if you're just gonna fuck around like that, I might as well cash in on it. But yeah, the biggest thing, and I love the fact of everything, or every time we talk about this, you simplify it even more. It's just that people go back out when they stop.
00:35:09.54
Mike
They stop.
00:35:09.60
Bill
You stop. Yeah. Just the word that stop. And if you think about what do you mean, stop, just think about it. What do you do to stay sober every day?
00:35:13.89
Mike
Yeah.
00:35:15.88
Bill
Stop doing all of that or even part of it.
00:35:17.31
Mike
Right.
00:35:18.08
Bill
I mean,
00:35:18.20
Mike
Right. Yeah, you know, that stop believing that, you know, I can't fucking handle it. Stop believing that, ah you know, I'm a goddamn alcoholic.
00:35:29.20
Mike
And once I start, I cannot stop. I have no control. You know, right.
00:35:33.13
Bill
right
00:35:33.76
Mike
Yeah. that Just start fucking lying to ourselves. And that's, you know, that's why we have to be around this shit. And, you know, ah yes, maybe not be in a goddamn church basement every fucking night.
00:35:44.83
Mike
Of course not. But be around and be a part of a sober community, whatever that is, however that works for you um to have people around you to remind you, no, asshole, you don't have this.
00:35:59.29
Bill
Right.
00:36:00.17
Mike
Yeah.
00:36:00.38
Bill
You know, and and I think too that um i I'm fully convinced that even though, like you and I, when's the last time that that we saw each other? June, I think?
00:36:11.39
Mike
Yeah, something like that wasn't.
00:36:11.94
Bill
Was it June? Yeah, because we usually get together Thanksgiving, but that didn't work out.
00:36:14.24
Mike
No, no, you were here, you were here like, uh, I dunno, when the hell were you last time you were here?
00:36:18.96
Bill
Oh, I led for you. I led for you September, September, August, whatever it was, yeah.
00:36:20.56
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. September. Yeah. September.
00:36:24.09
Bill
Okay, so still, you know three, four months ago, whatever whatever it was. so um But i'm I'm fully convinced that even if we were only ah meeting on this, as we do, you know once a week, that I think you could pick up ah just by hearing my voice if if I was fucked up.
00:36:27.19
Mike
Yeah.
00:36:35.67
Mike
Right. Hmm. Right.
00:36:40.67
Bill
I mean, I don't mean drinking fucked up, but I mean, just if something was wrong, I think you would pick up on it.
00:36:42.42
Mike
Right. isn Right.
00:36:45.75
Bill
you know
00:36:46.13
Mike
Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:46.63
Bill
um
00:36:46.89
Mike
And then same, right. Same with me to you. Exactly.
00:36:49.52
Bill
Right.
00:36:49.92
Mike
I got on here and I'm like, right. okay The fuck is wrong with you, man?
00:36:56.28
Bill
Right. And you know, don't, don't get us wrong. Before we hit the record button, a lot of times, both of us are like, you know, it's like, yeah, you know, it's, ah it's long weeks and it's tired and we, you know, we both have full lives outside of this.
00:37:01.94
Mike
Oh yeah. Most of the time. but Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:37:09.25
Bill
Uh, you know, we're not self-supporting or self, uh, what do we, yeah.
00:37:11.32
Mike
Nope.
00:37:13.47
Bill
So yeah, we're not.
00:37:13.67
Mike
Yeah. Self-supporting through our own contributions.
00:37:15.77
Bill
Yeah so supporting through our own cup our own podcast we do have full time jobs that you don't get it up bad jobs but they can have stress to him and there's life and everything else but um yeah once we get into this shit but that's what i mean is i think that it will be easy enough um even not being around people um you know.
00:37:20.10
Mike
Yeah.
00:37:23.50
Mike
yeah
00:37:31.86
Mike
Right.
00:37:33.92
Bill
I think you and I could pick up on that sort of thing with you know with each other.
00:37:36.32
Mike
right
00:37:37.20
Bill
So that that's a good thing. But you know even when um you know when we get together, I think that it's easy enough to pick up on if if somebody would be, again, if you're fucked up. you know If it's not, and I don't mean again, not drunk fucked up or high fucked up, but it's just you know getting to know people.
00:37:47.09
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Mm hmm.
00:37:52.49
Bill
And that's the key is if nothing else, there's accountability being around somebody, I think my kids would be able to figure it out.
00:37:58.59
Mike
Yeah, right exactly.
00:37:59.01
Bill
Kathy would be able to figure it out.
00:38:00.11
Mike
Yeah.
00:38:00.95
Bill
you know I think even even just general friends that i that I've met, you know over even over the last few years that I've talked with and spent any amount of time with, I think could figure it out if I changed.
00:38:04.37
Mike
Mm hmm. Sure.
00:38:11.35
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:38:11.33
Bill
you know And that's that accountability that is also important. And I think that, again, stopping all that stuff, being around people, going to meetings, doing the readings, doing whatever it is that you do to stay sober, if you stop, most, not always, most cases you're gonna be fucked.
00:38:19.09
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:38:27.41
Mike
Yeah, no, in my case, I will be and that's, you know, again, selfish and self centered. That's all I fucking really care about.
00:38:34.76
Bill
Right. Oh, I mean, you and I absolutely, but speaking to the you collectively out to, you know, the ah four people that listen to us.
00:38:35.13
Mike
Right.
00:38:37.82
Mike
Right. Ah, ah hi there.
00:38:42.92
Bill
Hey there, hey there, hey there, hey hey there. um But yeah, people in general, I know I'm i'm fully i'm fully convinced, you know, that it's, it's again, whether it's 20 minutes or I don't think I'd make it 20 days, you know, with being before I was, you know, before I fucking ruined everything.
00:38:46.97
Mike
Uh huh. Yeah.
00:38:54.81
Mike
Now.
00:38:57.59
Bill
Because once again, i'm i'm of the um I've already made, I made the decision years ago.
00:38:58.49
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:02.08
Bill
And I mean, I was probably two, three years sober that, you know, that i'm I'm like, if I ever, you know, God forbid, if I ever stop and I relapse, I'm not fucking coming back. I can't, you know, I can, but I can't.
00:39:10.42
Mike
Right.
00:39:12.58
Bill
And that's the, that's the egotist because the full blown fucking egotist narcissist person's going to blow up in me again.
00:39:12.83
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:19.05
Bill
These are all the things that I'm keeping at bay by, by doing all this work, you know, is all that shit's going to come up and I'm gonna be like, fuck it, man.
00:39:19.14
Mike
l
00:39:25.89
Bill
I can't, I cannot show my face to anyone anymore.
00:39:28.81
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:39:29.01
Bill
So I'm going to go someplace and I'm going to drink myself to death.
00:39:32.37
Mike
Right.
00:39:33.07
Bill
And that's what's going to happen. I i have no no illusion whatsoever that it's going to be any different.
00:39:38.65
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:39:39.66
Bill
you know
00:39:40.72
Mike
Yeah, exactly. And I mean, yeah you know, again, and as somebody who has been around the rooms and relapsed and I'm, you know, I went back up for 10 years, man, and came back.
00:39:49.50
Bill
Right.
00:39:50.60
Mike
Um, you know, but I mean, it wasn't, I did, when I was doing that, you know, the 30, 60, 90 day shuffle there for that year and a half, I was walking back into the same rooms and, you know, again, and we've seen people go out and come back into the rooms that we were in, um you know, and ah we know that
00:40:11.96
Bill
Mm hmm.
00:40:16.03
Mike
You know, despite what you're saying, you know, you walk back into the room and nobody's giving you the side eye and nobody's going, oh, look at that fucking piece of shit. Because we all understand, you know, say and you hear it and I certainly mean it.
00:40:24.16
Bill
Right.
00:40:30.64
Mike
Glad you fucking made it back, man. You know, now don't leave again. You know, um, yeah, you know, so I mean, uh, if you're listening to this and you're struggling or whatever, I need, you know, whatever, maybe you did fuck up and, and I don't know why the hell you're listening to this if you fucked up, but maybe you're trying to come back.
00:40:35.67
Bill
Right, right.
00:40:50.81
Mike
Um, you know, good for you. I'm glad you made it back. I'm glad you're listening to this. Get your ass busy, do the fucking work and you don't ever have to feel like this again.
00:40:59.17
Bill
Right? Yeah. And I, and I hope, ah and and I'm glad you brought that up too. Cause I always say like ah what I've led and stuff like that. And I've said that openly in leads is that for people who have relapsed and come back, um, amaze me because I just, it's there, there's something inside me that I don't think would allow me.
00:41:11.71
Mike
Right.
00:41:15.21
Bill
And it's not, it's not because of the fact that I know that people are welcome back in. I welcome people back in.
00:41:20.17
Mike
Right.
00:41:20.93
Bill
So have you.
00:41:21.17
Mike
Sure. Right.
00:41:22.10
Bill
Um, and yeah, when people come back in, um, people are welcome back literally with open arms, you know, um and i And I realized that, but but the problem is is that I know how I was before I quit drinking.
00:41:34.69
Mike
Right.
00:41:34.99
Bill
I know where my mindset was, where my, again, egotist, narcissist, all those different things. It didn't fucking matter what love or attention people would give me. um Fuck them, I was on my own.
00:41:45.23
Bill
And i the the problem is is that, again, if I stop, I know it's not like I'm gonna ease back into that guy.
00:41:45.50
Mike
Right.
00:41:51.68
Bill
That guy's right there. you know They always say, out in the parking lot, blah, blah, blah.
00:41:52.72
Mike
Mm-hm. Right, do a push-ups, man.
00:41:55.78
Bill
you know I believe that my the the guy that I was is still there.
00:42:02.01
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:42:03.44
Bill
and it's gonna pop back out, not gonna be same fucking asshole, dickhead, egotistical, narcissistic motherfucker. And I'm not gonna give anyone a chance. me I mean, fuck it, I'm on my own.
00:42:11.78
Mike
Right.
00:42:12.40
Bill
you know But I mean, i'm glad I'm glad that other people are not like that.
00:42:12.66
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:42:18.24
Bill
Because people literally that you know they have the ability to come back in and um swallow that that pride, which you don't even need to do it, it's nothing to to be ashamed of, it happens.
00:42:28.12
Mike
Right.
00:42:28.84
Bill
Mike just said it a little bit ago, you know, we don't have a choice. And even though I know that doesn't fucking it matter. And I'm not saying I'm special or a different breed. I just think I know myself, but these are other reasons. These are, that's the huge reason I truly believe if I drink again, it's not a question of it.
00:42:40.80
Mike
Right.
00:42:44.55
Bill
I'm going to fucking die. And I don't want to do that.
00:42:46.34
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:42:47.33
Bill
Not only that, um, cause I won't care about that as much. I don't want to hurt all these, all these fucking people, you know, I mean, my, Oh,
00:42:52.06
Mike
Uh-huh. Right. That, yeah, that trust you again and yeah built all that, right. You built so much back and and it better, right? You have so much, you know, all the relationships and stuff are infinitely better than they ever were.
00:43:00.27
Bill
Right.
00:43:04.81
Mike
And yeah, you know why you want to fucking burn that shit down?
00:43:08.20
Bill
Right. Yeah, it's all I'm gonna do. You know, we've seen people, um you know, people die and all that stuff, and that the wake that it leaves behind, that the wreckage.
00:43:13.24
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:43:15.98
Bill
um I don't want to do that. You know, I, at that point, I wouldn't care about myself, but God, the, again, family, friends, my kids, I mean, holy shit, I
00:43:22.52
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah Good Right
00:43:24.10
Bill
it would just it it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it because um yeah exactly having that being having the ability to have that sick feeling um again you know 15 years is not a long time but it's long enough you know to almost 15 years to feel that I love the fact that that hasn't gone away you know because you know shit man I mean it's so I need that I I never you know again don't want to don't want to you know regret the past but you don't want to shut the door on it I I was going to keep that door open a little bit like a yep it's still a fucking mess back there that's a tragic mess out that door
00:43:43.11
Mike
so fu
00:43:52.72
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:43:56.51
Mike
Oh, yeah.
00:44:00.22
Bill
yeah yeah Like Beetlejuice, when you open the door and end up in the desert with a fucking snake trying to eat you, that's our, the sand worms, God, you say it's snake, but yeah, that's our, if anyone wants to know what our life is gonna be like, if if Mike and I start drinking again, watch watch either one of the Beetlejuices.
00:44:04.42
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. The sand worms.
00:44:18.62
Mike
This is
00:44:20.75
Bill
And then watch them walk out the door. So that's what our life is about, so.
00:44:23.85
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:44:25.16
Bill
All right, so um have we beat up the old relapse horse enough or?
00:44:28.65
Mike
Yeah, we have.
00:44:29.88
Bill
Okay, don't stop, that's all.
00:44:31.06
Mike
Yeah. Don't stop. Exactly. Keep fucking going. Keep doing the work and you'll get the results.
00:44:37.22
Bill
Right, but on on this note though, I think we are gonna stop for a minute, right?
00:44:41.69
Mike
Ooh, dangerous shit. Well, but we will be right back after these words from our sponsors. as is is
00:45:00.17
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome back. Ooh, dangerous, dangerous. Yeah, but we were only stopping for a minute, so I think we're okay, right?
00:45:11.07
Mike
Uh, sure. I'm still here.
00:45:13.94
Bill
Yeah, exactly. And you know, that the funny part is right below the the relapse thing, um I had a note from a podcast, what motivates you to keep doing this whole sobriety thing?
00:45:25.52
Bill
Aha. I think we kind of answered that though, didn't we, Erzerni?
00:45:29.14
Mike
We kind of did, you know, and, um, and of course, always have to say, you know, being selfish and self centered as I am, um, the peace and fucking serenity that I have on my life today. I like the way it feels and I'm not giving it up.
00:45:46.72
Bill
right yeah and that that that is that is so that's so true you know and once again life life can get lifey and shit can get shitty and and all that stuff and uh you know i just i just sat down uh was it like yeah last night um because i got i just booked uh the last leg of my trip i'm going to be in uh a place in the lake of the Ozarks again not the same place i found a place that has uh
00:45:55.68
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:46:11.85
Bill
a washer and dryer, and then they just happened to have a dishwasher and a two. It's a fucking three bedroom, three bath condo for like, I mean, relatively speaking for places that I could rent at this time of year, different places for relatively nothing.
00:46:24.77
Mike
Right.
00:46:26.09
Bill
And I don't mean, it's not like below below cost or anything like that, but it's about average.
00:46:26.45
Mike
Right.
00:46:30.38
Bill
But I'm like, I need three bedrooms, three bathrooms. I mean, I may just sleep at all the bedrooms at different nights.
00:46:36.67
Mike
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:46:36.99
Bill
I mean, yeah. just shitting every toilet and I mean what the fuck and why not but um but I was just like I'm like oh with it anyhow so after I booked that again all this stuff is affordable but I sat down and I figured out my bills because I get paid this this coming week and again December was a slow month my commission check is less and I'm figuring all this stuff out I'm like I'm like wait a second did I let me redo the math
00:46:40.83
Mike
Oh, yeah.
00:47:02.92
Bill
And I'm like, like, everything's paid for, but I'm looking at this bottom number, the money I have left over the, you know, the next two week period. I'm like, that's not a lot, you know? But, but here's the thing. And I, what I was, what I was telling myself, because I have to, because I started to freak out a little bit, um, you know, is it, I'm like, I have everything figured in. I have figured in down to my grocery money when I spend every week.
00:47:23.99
Bill
Um, and I mean, this is for everything when I spend, whether I go to Walmart or Aldi or this and that. And, um, you know, I've been actually spending usually a little bit less every week. So there's a little bit of cushion, you know, kind of floaty, floatiness in there.
00:47:36.05
Mike
ah hair
00:47:36.19
Bill
Um, I don't do anything out of the ordinary. I might go to that, that restaurant. Well, that's not till Amarillo anyhow.
00:47:42.22
Mike
Right.
00:47:42.27
Bill
but I mean all these different things that I'm i'm looking at I'm like but everything's fucking paid and I still have this amount left just in case and i' I've got a credit card I mean I could if anything weird happened I'm like I'm like what the like what the fuck are you complaining about what are you stressing about you dumb dick
00:47:47.09
Mike
Yeah, right.
00:47:50.53
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:55.06
Mike
hey Right. What are you worried about?
00:47:58.71
Bill
I mean really i'm like all my bills are paid literally and this includes paying out fucking seven hundred dollars in payments to these trips i've been on um you know but i i don't have any rent okay so the money i'm paying out in january is it's a little bit more than what i'd what i'd normally spend but in all these trips, again, this is seven fucking weeks of shit and specific places I wanted to go and in one place needed to be as far as Phoenix goes.
00:48:11.06
Mike
Right. Right.
00:48:24.21
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:48:25.53
Bill
So I'm spending a little bit more money on this and it's, don't get me wrong, it's a lot, but I can afford it, which is fucking cool.
00:48:30.21
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:48:31.22
Bill
um you know But still it comes back to Jesus Christ. you know I mean, what what the fuck do I got to worry about? But I still, you wanna, again, these are the, you know life gets lifey and I get stressed about things.
00:48:41.54
Mike
a
00:48:41.89
Bill
I don't need to be stressed about that because I'm out doing things that I wanna do.
00:48:45.25
Mike
Right.
00:48:45.51
Bill
then I can afford it. I just have, you know, I don't have a lot of, I don't have fuck you money. Like we were talking about, you know, our fucking money.
00:48:50.64
Mike
Well, yeah.
00:48:52.40
Bill
What fucking money were we talking about?
00:48:52.52
Mike
Right.
00:48:53.63
Bill
Fucking money.
00:48:54.13
Mike
Yeah, right. Fuck it, money. Fuck you, money. Fuck me, money.
00:48:57.78
Bill
Fuck me, yeah, I'm not spending my monies on cocaine and whores, speaking of fuck me money, you know, so, you know, I'm literally, I mean, I just, said I'm having to start off good this month.
00:49:03.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:49:10.19
Bill
i'm I'm on the, I'm hoping in the next two to three months, I should get kicked up to this, to the next level, which I mean, literally that that's huge, you know, from an income standpoint and, um you know, so all this different, got good things, good things on the horizon, but,
00:49:17.68
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:49:23.74
Bill
Can I tell you two more things about Albert Kirkey?
00:49:26.42
Mike
Please do.
00:49:27.60
Bill
One, I have a question for you. So, well, no, this is a statement, I guess, to begin with, sorry.
00:49:29.83
Mike
Okay.
00:49:32.78
Bill
So I get here and, you know, again, I'm kind of, oh, it was, and again, you've driven around this area, but I've never been to New Mexico before. Okay. So like a fucking kid, I stopped at this rest area. I'm taking a picture of the fucking sky and I'm out in the distance.
00:49:45.95
Bill
You know, and I just did a goddamn rest area.
00:49:46.93
Mike
ah hu
00:49:47.91
Bill
I'm like, fuck, this is so fucking beautiful.
00:49:50.25
Mike
Right.
00:49:50.57
Bill
But, you know, you drive for a fucking hour with no place to stop, you know, so no big deal.
00:49:53.48
Mike
Yeah.
00:49:55.95
Bill
But, you know, I'm just driving in kind of like little hilly things and whatever my ears are popping here and there, but not really thinking much of it. So I got here, got everything loaded in or brought into the place in here. And my contacts were kind of dry.
00:50:08.05
Bill
So I pulled out my contact solution, the actual jar of it or the container of it.
00:50:08.56
Mike
Hmm.
00:50:12.88
Bill
And I opened the top and it's like, like it it was pressurized.
00:50:14.40
Mike
Oh, yeah, right.
00:50:16.62
Bill
And I'm like, that's weird. What it reminded me of was when we were in Breckenridge, when Kimi and Brian got married in that elevation was like almost 10,000 feet or whatever like that, Denver's 5,000, whatever.
00:50:23.06
Mike
Right.
00:50:30.56
Bill
So um I looked it up. So do you know what the elevation is here in Albuquerque?
00:50:35.14
Mike
I, it's up there. I know that it's what, yeah, it's like four or five.
00:50:37.32
Bill
Yeah.
00:50:39.80
Bill
It's 5312 feet.
00:50:41.74
Mike
well
00:50:42.58
Bill
And then it makes it so this is the other thing I didn't know because it, you know, right away, AI tells me this. um It's the highest metropolitan city in America and I'm like, really, but then they must talk about, you know, ah they made a point of saying metropolitan city.
00:50:50.11
Mike
Hmm.
00:50:56.39
Bill
um geographical center of Mexico, which obviously I knew, but like, den I'm like, well, how does this compare to Denver? Denver is 5,280. This is 50, 5312.
00:51:04.86
Mike
Okay. Right. Yeah.
00:51:07.35
Bill
And then um where I'm going to be in Prescott, which is where I'm staying after Phoenix, that's like almost 5,400.
00:51:11.91
Mike
Uh-huh.
00:51:13.56
Bill
My point though, is that I have been because I dealt with this we're only in Breckenridge for two days ah basically less than 48 hours and I mean my head was killing me in Breckenridge Denver wasn't that bad um but I've been stuffed up completely the sinuses are fucking killing me I haven't really slept that well um because I can't breathe and I know what it is it's the elevation you know so um yeah I'm like I had no fucking idea so I'm like well I could never live here because I
00:51:20.49
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:35.71
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:51:42.42
Mike
Well, i you get used to it.
00:51:44.67
Bill
Well, and you know, somebody, somebody had said though, that, um you know, like in like Denver or Breckenridge, for instance, like you got to be in these higher elevations for at least three days and then you'll even out.
00:51:45.29
Mike
You acclimate.
00:51:55.83
Mike
Right.
00:51:55.83
Bill
um i I haven't evened out, you know, so, but again, I don't, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sinus thing.
00:51:58.07
Mike
Right.
00:52:02.79
Bill
It's not that bad, but I literally, I, I swear to God I've gone through a box and a half of Kleenex already because it's just, it's that bad, you know, but um Maybe, maybe I would acclimate, but I'm like, Jesus Christ, it was just fucking weird.
00:52:15.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:52:15.60
Bill
I had, it didn't, I didn't know. I didn't know about, not that it would have stopped me from coming here, um but I just didn't know.
00:52:19.21
Mike
All right.
00:52:21.99
Bill
but So I know you haven't watched Breaking Bad. Anyone who listens to this, who, who saw the pictures I posted, I'm in the process of finishing up. It's gonna take me another couple of days, maybe till the middle of the week, ah middle of next week to get it all done on the website.
00:52:35.93
Bill
But I'm gonna have the pictures, not all of them, but pictures of each place I went, ah plus the address and a little explanation of where these places were. That in itself was kind of fun, you know, because again, watching this TV show and I'm watching it now, again, I'm like, I was fucking there last weekend.
00:52:45.84
Mike
Mm hmm. Yeah, right.
00:52:51.72
Bill
Like I was there. Um, so all that stuff was kind of cool, but I tell you what was really fucking cool. Have you ever been, I think it's, it's gotta be all reservation land where I went out in the desert.
00:52:58.91
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:53:00.89
Bill
Actually, I know it is. Um, have you ever been out in those areas? Like driven, it's, they're kind of off the beaten path. It's off highway 40 where I went, which you probably went through there.
00:53:09.23
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:53:10.78
Bill
Um, but going back into there and I didn't stay too long because two things, um, first of all, you're out in the middle of fucking nowhere. There's no cell service.
00:53:19.01
Mike
Yeah, right.
00:53:19.97
Bill
Um, it's quiet. And so it, when I, I just sat there for a minute, probably five or 10 minutes, I was just standing there kind of looking around and you can't hear anything, you know?
00:53:28.79
Mike
Yeah.
00:53:29.23
Bill
And I'm like, and it was nice. It, it warmed up a little bit and I'm standing on top of this one rock formation, not really high, but I'm just looking around. I'm like, this is just,
00:53:39.74
Bill
It's, ah I mean, again, in the mountains of North Carolina, the other one's all beautiful and stuff. This is all different.
00:53:43.16
Mike
Right.
00:53:43.83
Bill
There's no foliage out there, but I'm looking, I'm like all the colors in the sun and I'm like just like, my mind was fucking blown, you know?
00:53:44.00
Mike
Oh yeah. Mm hmm.
00:53:52.06
Bill
ah But the other thing that I heard is it was some people that had posted on this one website where I got all these addresses from that they were actually chased off by some of the some of the folks from the reservation saying, hey, this is private property, get the fuck out type of thing.
00:54:04.90
Mike
Right?
00:54:05.31
Bill
And I tried, I want to be mindful. I'm not, I'm not out there fucking with people, you know?
00:54:07.45
Mike
Mhmm.
00:54:09.04
Bill
Um, but there was this, uh, it's funny. So I'm driving up this fucking road and basically what the guy said that I got the information from, he's like, turn on this, this tribal road, tribal, whatever it was, seven something.
00:54:20.33
Bill
Then he goes, just drive and keep an eye out until you see the rock formation. um And it is, it's an odd type of rock formation, little points on it. So I'm just fucking driving, driving, driving. And then there's this Tesla sitting on the side of the road, like, well, a bad place to fucking break down, you know?
00:54:36.20
Mike
Mm.
00:54:37.00
Bill
But then there's just, there you could tell they're trying to look at something like, God, they're probably trying to find this place where I'm going.
00:54:42.28
Mike
Yeah.
00:54:42.49
Bill
um So you know I drove up and I pulled in and then I saw them drive by and then they pulled back so as I'm walking around it's a it's a guy and then two girls they're probably in their 20s and they're kind of over on the other side walking around in um Walter White is the main character I think you know that so she just she just screams it out she's like Walter
00:54:49.24
Mike
Mm hmm. Right. Yeah.
00:55:03.98
Bill
ah
00:55:04.51
Mike
she
00:55:05.73
Bill
And then the guy that's with it, he's like, shut the fuck up, man. He goes, I'll believe it if you keep that up, whatever. But then I'm like, you fucked up my piece too, you know?
00:55:12.81
Mike
Yeah, right.
00:55:13.48
Bill
um so am I'm sitting there just soaking this in instead. She's like, Jesse Pinkman, which is the other one.
00:55:17.05
Mike
Hmm.
00:55:18.92
Bill
I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. um But all the running around that's the only only people other people I saw, you know like sightseeing but um Apparently like 300 people a day go by Walter White's house.
00:55:26.04
Mike
Right.
00:55:29.68
Bill
That's the first place I stopped But seriously the desert it was that was like an hour and a half ah Just driving back and forth 45 minutes each way and then you know, I spent probably half hour 45 minutes out there But oh my god, it was just
00:55:29.91
Mike
Hmm. Yeah.
00:55:45.03
Bill
Highly recommended, I'll have that play stuck. I can't completely map it for anyone who looks at the at the website once I have it done, but I'll give the same directions that the guy gave to me, and I found it without any issue.
00:55:55.77
Bill
um I highly recommend it if you if you come out there. Even if you maybe you don't care about Breaking Bad, just take a fucking drive out there, because it's fucking mind-blowing.
00:56:02.03
Mike
right. Cool.
00:56:05.59
Bill
So I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the kicking around, but man, that that desert, ah just unfucking believable.
00:56:10.63
Mike
Well, all right.
00:56:11.64
Bill
So I'm a fan. I'm a definite fan.
00:56:16.83
Bill
All right, so um this is one that I wrote down. This might've been from the 24-hour book recently. Oh yeah, it asked, have I learned that there is power in humility?
00:56:29.33
Bill
Okay, now that's that's one thing, but i have I have a question to this.
00:56:30.25
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:56:33.44
Bill
um What actually is, because I think that, well, let's let's do that first. So have you learned that there's power in humility?
00:56:41.55
Mike
Mm, working on it.
00:56:45.99
Bill
yeah
00:56:46.70
Mike
No, right.
00:56:46.69
Bill
that's That's a fair answer. I mean, it is.
00:56:48.21
Mike
No, I mean, I, I, I know the concept. Yes. Yeah. You know, um like all the other choices that we have, um, being humble, um,
00:57:00.05
Mike
You know, we're not in control of everything. It's, and there's power in that, you know, there's power in letting go and and knowing that we're not running the show, you know, it's, it's, it's nice.
00:57:13.36
Mike
There's a, it frees up a lot of energy to actually do things that we can do.
00:57:18.30
Bill
Right.
00:57:19.17
Mike
Yeah. So I understand the concept, still working on it.
00:57:23.30
Bill
Cause in my question was, you know, the and this is kind of like what is, is, you know, going back to a a famous Bill Clinton line, what is, is. um But so my question wasn't what popped into my head. It's like, what, what actually is the power and humility? Okay. So we, we get a power, but what do we get from, you know what I mean? I mean, what does that actually mean? There's basically just what you said, realizing that there's, you know, that we're not the only thing. And um I don't know.
00:57:50.47
Bill
Just is that kind of what what the power is, is just realizing it?
00:57:52.28
Mike
I mean, yeah, that's exactly, you know, again, the lack of control gives us energy to, you know, back to the Serenity prayer, which we did last week, you know?
00:57:54.67
Bill
Okay.
00:58:03.89
Mike
Yeah. don Change the things we can, let the rest of the shit go. There's there's a lot of power in that, I find.
00:58:10.61
Bill
Right, right. Yeah, and it's just, it I wasn't trying to be like completely stupid about it, but um or or trying to make a joke out of it, but I was like, okay, yeah, yeah I realize there's power in it, but what what is it?
00:58:21.50
Bill
I mean, what what is the power? What do I get? But yeah, I mean, that's ah that's a good point. I mean, just um i mean realizing it's it's comforting realizing that we don't have to, or I'll so i'll speak for myself.
00:58:31.49
Mike
Hmm.
00:58:33.19
Bill
realizing that I don't have to and have to make all the decisions. I don't have to do all the work.
00:58:36.74
Mike
Right.
00:58:38.09
Bill
um I don't have to make all the plans.
00:58:39.75
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:58:40.82
Bill
you know i don't have to i I don't have to figure everything out. you know Everything isn't necessarily figured out for me and everyone doesn't make all the plans, but I'm allowed to have a part in it.
00:58:45.21
Mike
Right.
00:58:49.12
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:58:51.94
Bill
And part of that is just the, again, the books, the meetings, the steps, all those different things.
00:58:55.81
Mike
Right.
00:58:56.56
Bill
And then the other part of it is being able to walk up to anyone you know that's in recovery, any fucking meeting, anywhere you go, being like, what do you think about this? I need some help.
00:59:04.81
Mike
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:59:07.56
Bill
you know and nobody's Nobody's trying to you know hold the secret you know for themselves or anything like that, which is which is beautiful.
00:59:11.14
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:59:14.16
Bill
It's so different than any other really any other thing in life. you know People aren't trying to to just be selfish.
00:59:17.88
Mike
Right.
00:59:19.68
Bill
I mean, we are we we we're selfish and self-centered, but we also are very giving, which is fucking weird. you know as We're both.
00:59:26.51
Mike
Right. Yeah. Well, again, we're, we're giving because we have to be because that's how we get to keep the shit that we have.
00:59:31.39
Bill
Right?
00:59:34.54
Mike
Right.
00:59:36.39
Bill
Well, yeah, if I didn't, ah if i could yeah if I could just be selfish and self-centered, but God damn it, I gotta give it away.
00:59:36.99
Mike
Give it away to keep it. Hey, heard that somewhere before.
00:59:44.17
Bill
I've got to be ah gotta be humble.
00:59:44.81
Mike
Yep.
00:59:46.00
Bill
I've gotta have humility.
00:59:46.41
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:59:47.04
Bill
I've gotta be all that different shit, fuck. But okay, so yeah, that was ah that was just kind of, ah and again, reading some of these things that just gives me, if it makes me pause for a minute, then I just and just put it on the list.
01:00:00.12
Bill
I'm like, yeah we'll figure we'll figure it out on the podcast. But speaking of that, this is from, um a podcast, i don which one I was listening to recently, Sober Podcast, but um the guest said that she can't wait until the day where society doesn't put shame on a non-drinker or a sober individual, okay? So do you want me to repeat that or just ask you my question?
01:00:24.30
Mike
Yeah, that's the question.
01:00:26.79
Bill
Okay, what do you think about that, Mike?
01:00:29.25
Mike
oh ge um I personally don't give a shit one way or another i because
01:00:33.32
Bill
yeah
01:00:41.40
Mike
I'm not giving shame to anyone who is sober or doesn't drink or whatever. I mean, I understand because I, you know, that on the other side of it, what do you mean you don't drink?
01:00:52.70
Mike
What the fuck's wrong with you? ha Um, yeah, but no, I,
01:00:55.16
Bill
Right.
01:00:58.16
Mike
I don't do it, and if someone wants to do it to me, I don't care. I fucking don't. You wanna look down on me because I'm sober? You wanna look down on me because I don't drink?
01:01:09.13
Mike
Okay, that's your fucking problem, and I got nothing to do with it one way or another, and I'm moving on. So, um yeah.
01:01:15.31
Bill
Right.
01:01:16.69
Mike
you know um hoping Hoping for the day, God, I don't know. Hoping for the day everyone's nice to each other. Hoping for, you know, fuck, man. um Again, talk about,
01:01:28.84
Mike
wasting your time and burning calories on shit that's never going to happen.
01:01:33.34
Bill
Right.
01:01:33.43
Mike
Um, you know, I, I just, all I could do is control myself and I can't do that all that well. So, um, what do I care what someone else does?
01:01:43.11
Bill
Well, and and here was the reason that, and I know why I wrote this one down because um i I don't think that, I don't think the majority of people put shame on anyone who doesn't drink these days.
01:01:54.38
Bill
And I'll and i'll tell you why I think this, two reasons that people are pussies these days.
01:01:55.27
Mike
Hmm.
01:01:59.26
Mike
Right.
01:01:59.32
Bill
um Nobody wants to, okay, unless unless you're you're evil or you're you're truly deranged or or fucked up in the head or just whatever the case is, most people um that that live along the guidelines of of decent society or live within the guidelines of decent society society um see what's going on in in the climate these days.
01:02:20.50
Bill
you know It's like everyone everyone's able to read the room and everyone realizes that, well, it's probably not a good idea to say this, that, the other thing, blah, blah, blah.
01:02:23.35
Mike
Right.
01:02:28.93
Bill
okay so That in and of itself
01:02:31.61
Mike
Hmm.
01:02:31.98
Bill
people people you could walk into a fucking you know fucking party with it with a zit the size of ah of a Golf ball on your forehead and I will guarantee you 60% of the people in the room would say a fucking word about it because they're like They don't know what it is.
01:02:46.03
Mike
Right.
01:02:47.83
Bill
I don't want to offend somebody.
01:02:47.95
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:02:49.47
Bill
It's a big fucking zit on his head.
01:02:49.51
Mike
Right.
01:02:51.03
Bill
Jesus Christ yeah Okay, but so that's not that's number one.
01:02:51.89
Mike
Yeah.
01:02:55.19
Bill
But the other thing is if If you and I mean anyone spends any time on any social media, um read any articles, do any searches, anything like that, there has been such a twist and a turn um in the whole sobriety movement.
01:03:11.06
Bill
you know
01:03:11.34
Mike
right
01:03:11.82
Bill
and there are so many more people out there and they're young people too. They're not just old, you know, crotchety fucks like us that needed to get sober. There's there's people out there that are non-drinkers living sober lives, living alcohol-free lives. And when people say it's a movement, it's not just a movement, it's a whole societal thing that's happening out there. And I remember who we were talking about, but I agree with it.
01:03:34.17
Bill
Maybe Matt from Sober Friends was talking about the non-alcoholic beverage market.
01:03:34.64
Mike
Right. Right.
01:03:39.15
Bill
you know When you take a look at at any market like that that's you know that's turned into a billion dollar industry, they see what's happening.
01:03:45.18
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:03:45.42
Bill
If there' if if it's a billion dollar industry, that means you know there's there's people out there consuming that sort of thing.
01:03:50.76
Mike
Right.
01:03:50.90
Bill
you know It's not just a a few groups that are so you know sitting in church basements. you know um So it's just those two things that when I listened to that when when the person said it, I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me?
01:04:02.27
Bill
Where where are you spending any time? you know Because people don't shame people anymore in almost any circumstance, certainly not for a sobriety thing, but to your point.
01:04:04.76
Mike
Right.
01:04:13.62
Bill
I wasn't thinking about this part is that um Yeah, somebody says that to me. I would literally I would laugh because I wouldn't know what else to do I would laugh and I'd walk away.
01:04:20.64
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:04:23.23
Bill
I'd be like but wass Okay, and i would I think I'd walk away because I'd be like really you're gonna the the life that I built for myself I don't have a lot of material shit, but the life that you and I have built for for ourselves and You're gonna criticize me
01:04:23.64
Mike
Yep.
01:04:29.66
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:04:39.80
Mike
Right. You're gonna try to shit on this?
01:04:40.50
Bill
Really?
01:04:41.72
Mike
Good luck.
01:04:42.29
Bill
if you You think I'm gonna be bothered by it?
01:04:45.88
Mike
Exactly.
01:04:47.23
Bill
Okay, let's let's take a walk down memory lane. Come come with me 15 years ago, okay? I'll tell you where I was, and then you tell me what you think.
01:04:55.94
Mike
Exactly.
01:04:56.78
Bill
You know, i just it just, it it kind of blew my mind, but I, because I just don't, I don't see that sort of thing happening. I don't see people shamed. There's still shit going on out there. There's still dickheads and assholes and and whatever.
01:05:05.36
Mike
Right. Oh yeah.
01:05:06.72
Bill
but
01:05:06.90
Mike
Right. And there's always going to be, which was kind of my point in the first place.
01:05:08.88
Bill
Right.
01:05:10.22
Mike
I want everyone to love everyone all the time. Never going to fucking happen.
01:05:14.41
Bill
Right.
01:05:14.49
Mike
Never has never will.
01:05:17.01
Bill
And it was funny, they yeah and they've said it for years, um again, in the morning show, I listened to the radio show. They said that if you had if you had a group of people that were all, but they just, whatever, pick whatever you want, they're all 5'10", they all have brown hair and blue eyes.
01:05:31.69
Bill
They all have you know have the same religious beliefs, the same job, the same background, they live in the same town.
01:05:35.57
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:05:36.78
Bill
They'll still find a reason to hate each other.
01:05:38.61
Mike
Yeah, absolutely.
01:05:40.76
Bill
And like, that is so fucking true. you know It's just...
01:05:44.15
Mike
Yeah, right.
01:05:44.78
Bill
that
01:05:44.89
Mike
I mean, you know, we Dr. Seuss, man, starbellied Sneetches go fucking read it. It's all right there.
01:05:52.69
Bill
I was gonna say, I don't even know if I know what that is. I probably do, but. Star-bellied what?
01:05:58.99
Mike
Sneetches. Yeah. Stars upon the hours. The snitches, the ones with the stars hated the ones without the ones without hated the ones with, and then they started getting all mixed up and yeah, go read the book. It's wonderful. Tell us everything you need to know.
01:06:15.49
Bill
Yeah, you know I think I will. Speaking of this, and it's it's kind of funny that you brought this up. It has nothing to do with, it one Dr. Seuss does anything to do with this, but along the same lines. And I don't know where I started thinking about it, but Schoolhouse Rock, talk about you know learning things, but I actually made a note about Schoolhouse Rock.
01:06:31.95
Mike
All right.
01:06:32.12
Bill
in And my question to you was, as ah as a kid, did it did it help you learn?
01:06:35.35
Mike
Yeah.
01:06:37.14
Bill
Do you think it actually helped you learn?
01:06:38.31
Mike
Now I learned some stuff from it. Absolutely.
01:06:42.96
Bill
It was the more of my think about it. Well, I literally I know I didn't, I didn't hear a commercial or anything like that. I just thought about it. But um eighth grade, we had to learn the preamble to the constitution.
01:06:54.13
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:06:57.86
Bill
And our test was to write it down or write it out.
01:07:00.23
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:07:00.64
Bill
That was our test.
01:07:01.76
Mike
Okay.
01:07:01.80
Bill
And you remember this schoolhouse rock, right? It was a whole fucking song. We, the people, but they they sang an entire fucking song.
01:07:07.47
Mike
Yeah.
01:07:09.79
Bill
I passed, not only passed my test, I got a fucking A on that test because the schoolhouse rock. I sat there to myself and sang the entire song to myself as I wrote out the preamble to our constitution.
01:07:18.83
Mike
Yup.
01:07:23.22
Bill
And it was so fucking great.
01:07:26.84
Mike
hey
01:07:28.45
Bill
um But yeah, just when you when you brought up the, yeah, Dr. Seuss, everything's there, learned everything.
01:07:32.07
Mike
Yup.
01:07:32.45
Bill
I'm like, oh, that's kind of fucking weird. But yeah, Schoolhouse Rocket just, I think we played that, Dawn and I played that for Derek and Alec when they were kids. And they were just, they were kind of, ah well, Looney Tunes also was another thing that they, yeah, Derek and Alec loved Looney Tunes cartoons, but
01:07:40.68
Mike
Um hmm. Right. I learned a lot from those too.
01:07:49.39
Bill
Yeah, so did I.
01:07:50.73
Mike
hey
01:07:51.91
Bill
Those are definitely my favorite, but you know, same thing. We used to sit there. We'd watch them with, uh, with our grandpa, with our uncles and with our dad.
01:07:58.05
Mike
Right.
01:07:58.59
Bill
And, you know, I mean, the adults were out would always be laughing harder than we did because there was, you know, obviously adult humor in there.
01:08:05.75
Mike
Right.
01:08:06.20
Bill
Never understood that until I started watching them as an adult.
01:08:09.02
Mike
Okay.
01:08:10.22
Bill
And I'm like, these are fucking awesome, man.
01:08:12.10
Mike
Absolutely.
01:08:13.55
Bill
All right. So what's the doctors who spoke again, plug that again for anyone else out there.
01:08:16.54
Mike
uh it's uh i don't even know if it's a full book i know it's one of his stories it's uh the star-bellied sneeches i don't know that uh i don't even know if that's the title i don't know i don't remember i just know it's one of his stories and it's basically everything you need to know about racism it's basically it's like the star trek episode with the the two guys one of them is frank gorshin i know that that's one guy's you know they their faces are split one side's white one side's black But the sides are different on these two guys and they hate each other, right?
01:08:51.08
Mike
One side, the right side is white, and the left side is black, and the other guy, the left side is white, and the other the right side is black. And yeah, they're they're at fucking war with each other, because the sides are different.
01:09:04.71
Mike
Yep, same thing.
01:09:04.81
Bill
And it's just It is, it's just, it's it's fucking life. It just, I don't know that I've ever heard that before. So that's ah that's funny. that's That's actually funny.
01:09:14.67
Mike
Yeah. I know there was an animated date because I remember seeing the cartoon of it too. They animated it at one point. I'll have to look it up on YouTube. See if it's there.
01:09:22.66
Bill
Oh, I'm sure I was just gonna say it's it fucking everything's on YouTube. too All right, so um from Keep It Simple i was talking about the the we of the program.
01:09:25.98
Mike
Right.
01:09:33.27
Bill
Okay, so my question is, when did you really grasp on to that concept, the concept of the the we of the program?
01:09:43.49
Mike
Uh, well, let's see, how about the first night I was in the Keating Center?
01:09:45.51
Bill
ha
01:09:54.64
Mike
Right. Um, yeah, you know, um, dead shit, man, you know, being a loner and a rebel and all that good stuff. Dotty. Um, I, uh, yeah, I, you know, can't do this shit alone.
01:10:09.16
Mike
Um, yeah, I, I,
01:10:09.49
Bill
Right.
01:10:11.21
Mike
Seriously, freaked out first night at the Keating center. um yeah ah Endo's kid was in the bunk next to me.
01:10:20.46
Bill
Oh, yeah.
01:10:21.20
Mike
Yeah, yeah. And, um, yeah, you know, just, um, talk to him and, and, uh, you know, got a little mellowed out just talking to this kid, you know, Christ, he was 18, I think, you know, right.
01:10:33.80
Bill
Yeah, definitely.
01:10:35.12
Mike
No, that was a fucking 42, you know, and this kid just going, Hey man, it's going to be all right. Don't worry about it. Thanks kid.
01:10:41.34
Bill
but
01:10:44.10
Mike
Right.
01:10:46.07
Bill
Yeah, and boy, I would say probably, um wow, definitely would have been, oh shit, that that first weekend when, and i and I know I told the story and I know it was before you got there, because you got there on like that Monday or Tuesday, right?
01:11:02.23
Mike
Uh, I got, I got there on Wednesday.
01:11:02.35
Bill
Or no, a Wednesday, Wednesday.
01:11:04.40
Mike
Yup.
01:11:04.54
Bill
Yeah, because we went to West Park.
01:11:06.17
Mike
Yeah.
01:11:06.44
Bill
I remember remember that your story.
01:11:08.58
Mike
Yup.
01:11:08.71
Bill
So, um
01:11:08.96
Mike
They threw me in the back of a van. No seats. Right. A cargo van. Get in the back of this van kid.
01:11:16.26
Bill
Yeah, this might've been, I didn't even know what fucking day it was. It was one of the first few days that that I was there. And um you know again, the story that the you know we obviously had lunch or dinner or whatever it was and ah cleaned up everything.
01:11:28.19
Bill
That was a weird part. you know Fucking everyone cleaning the up and then somebody didn't push in a chair and we're all sitting outside, you know smoking cigarettes under the tent and Marty opens the door.
01:11:33.42
Mike
Nope.
01:11:37.15
Bill
He's like, everyone get your asses back in here. And I'm like, what the fuck? I don't know what's going on.
01:11:43.44
Mike
Right.
01:11:43.93
Bill
And then he's like, he's like, somebody let the chair up, clean the entire thing again.
01:11:47.56
Mike
Nope.
01:11:47.84
Bill
And in my head, I'm like, are you fucking nuts? You know, which he is, um you know, but, ah but yeah, made us made us clean the, you know, it didn't take that long, you know, however many guys are there, but so we had, we, he literally made us clean the entire thing again.
01:11:52.60
Mike
Right.
01:12:00.31
Mike
Right.
01:12:03.39
Bill
And I tell you one thing, man, I, to this day, I don't leave chairs pulled out, you know,
01:12:07.28
Mike
Right. Oh yeah.
01:12:10.19
Bill
you know and it's I haven't thought about that in years, but it was just ah when when I was in Oklahoma, there was a Oklahoma City, there was a small table, and I would sit down and eat lunch, and then you know obviously got a chair back in.
01:12:23.25
Bill
I remember walking out after whatever, I was done with lunch, and I walked back out to get coffee, and it was like a little bit, it wasn't pushed out, but a little crooked, so I straightened it.
01:12:31.14
Mike
Yeah. Oh.
01:12:31.99
Bill
And that just literally popped into my head now, I didn't think about it at the time, it's just what I do.
01:12:36.95
Mike
Yeah.
01:12:37.56
Bill
But you know, he fucking agreed in my head, you know, 14, almost 15 years ago, you know?
01:12:40.06
Mike
Uh huh.
01:12:44.13
Bill
But dumb yeah, I guess that's, and then everything, everything getting to meetings, getting around, figuring out what to do, um sitting there in a group.
01:12:49.65
Mike
Yeah.
01:12:50.68
Bill
We lived in literally, you know, lived and died, you know, by each other.
01:12:53.59
Mike
Yeah.
01:12:53.90
Bill
So um I just thought it was an interesting one, because I didn't i didn't think about it when I wrote it down, but but yeah, sitting there and talking to, just talking to somebody like that right away.
01:12:54.35
Mike
Yes.
01:13:02.74
Bill
And I don't, I know Vince, you know, obviously ran me around and then you remember Keith, tall Keith.
01:13:06.68
Mike
Right? Yeah.
01:13:09.18
Bill
Um, yeah, for whatever reason, uh, you know, he befriended me and I, he was running me around to, you know, with him to meetings and stuff like that.
01:13:15.28
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:13:16.33
Bill
And I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, you know, I just followed everyone else.
01:13:18.39
Mike
Right? Yeah, right.
01:13:21.99
Bill
It's like, what, what the fuck else do you do? You know, I mean, I don't, I don't know.
01:13:24.64
Mike
I don't know what I'm doing.
01:13:25.77
Bill
I don't know where to go.
01:13:28.78
Mike
I have no fucking idea.
01:13:29.02
Bill
Right.
01:13:32.33
Bill
Yeah, exactly. so But yeah I don't know. I just thought that was interesting. But yeah, I got first night there. And I i forgot that um Aaron's kid was there. that yeah and he Yeah, he couldn't have been more than 18.
01:13:43.47
Mike
Right.
01:13:44.30
Bill
you know
01:13:45.15
Mike
Yeah.
01:13:45.21
Bill
It was a couple of people we had in there that were really young, but he was definitely one of the one of the youngest ones during the time we were there.
01:13:49.46
Mike
Yeah.
01:13:52.43
Bill
So um okay so I ran across an article yesterday or the day before.
01:13:54.48
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:13:58.85
Bill
um
01:14:01.59
Bill
Drunk driving statistics for 2025. Well, actually, this would have been for 2024.
01:14:08.77
Mike
Right.
01:14:09.05
Bill
um Where was the drunk driving in the United States? OK, so how many um number of fatal accidents, alcohol-related fatal accidents, do you think were in 2022?
01:14:28.24
Bill
Was this in the US? Yeah, this was in the United States. That doesn't seem like a lot.
01:14:30.78
Mike
Right. Oh, I'm, I'm, you know, what?
01:14:32.95
Bill
Oh, oh yeah, faith this is fatalities. OK, yeah, so this probably is right.
01:14:36.69
Mike
Yeah. Fatalities. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably, you know, 1500 to 2000 somewhere in there.
01:14:43.02
Bill
um in the United States, so 13,000.
01:14:44.88
Mike
Yeah.
01:14:47.26
Mike
Oh, okay.
01:14:49.37
Bill
That's why I looked for a minute, I'm like, God, is that, I'm like, oh, got that it that is, holy shit.
01:14:53.25
Mike
Yeah.
01:14:53.57
Bill
Oh, fuck, I just lost the, I lost the article. Hang on one second here.
01:14:56.12
Mike
All right.
01:14:57.85
Bill
um But theres there's some other statistics in here, I was talking by, God damn, No, this is fucking irritating me. yeah you You pop into the article and I got these little pop-ups, I'm trying to scroll and I i hit part of the pop-up and I keep going into a different thing.
01:15:11.02
Mike
ah Right.
01:15:14.86
Mike
Uh huh.
01:15:15.15
Bill
um Okay, so, okay, highest, the top five states for the highest percentage of fatal accidents involving intoxicated drivers.
01:15:31.85
Bill
Top five states, what do you think?
01:15:31.92
Mike
Okay. Right. Well, Wisconsin's got to be in there.
01:15:36.10
Bill
Nope.
01:15:36.79
Mike
No. Well, you guys got to try harder. Uh, um, Nevada.
01:15:42.16
Bill
Nope.
01:15:45.35
Bill
So that there's ah one is, uh, one is DC 39%.
01:15:45.52
Mike
Really?
01:15:50.98
Bill
Um, eyes percentage, but yet. Yeah. 39% of the fatalities have an intoxicated driver. Rhode Island was the number one with 43%.
01:16:01.48
Mike
Really?
01:16:01.72
Bill
Mm-hmm.
01:16:02.52
Mike
Huh.
01:16:03.63
Bill
highest percentage of fatal accidents involving an intoxicated driver, which that kind of, but I mean, and I wonder if that's like, cause again, Rhode Island's small, you know, a small state.
01:16:06.78
Mike
Hmm.
01:16:12.31
Mike
Hmm.
01:16:13.62
Bill
um It doesn't say per capita, highest rate of, okay, here we go. Top five states, Wisconsin is not in here. The five states with the highest rate of DUI arrests as a portion of the state's total arrests, okay? So out of the total arrests, these are the top five states so with the highest percentage, okay? So out of the top five, Ethan, just take a stab at one. I'm not gonna make you guess all over the place.
01:16:40.95
Mike
Um, Mississippi.
01:16:44.56
Bill
and
01:16:45.65
Mike
yeah
01:16:45.94
Bill
um Let's see that the farthest south again there isn't there none in the south.
01:16:50.48
Mike
yeah
01:16:50.75
Bill
Pennsylvania is number one with a 19 percent.
01:16:53.07
Mike
Hmm.
01:16:55.10
Bill
Vermont 18 percent. Minnesota 17 percent.
01:16:58.99
Mike
Ah, yeah.
01:17:00.80
Bill
Washington state um just under 17 percent and then Wyoming 15.5 percent.
01:17:05.63
Mike
Hmm.
01:17:08.49
Bill
So it just, um, it's crazy when, um, I mean, there's a, there's a whole list of fatalities and stuff like that, but, um, and they talk about cost of drunk driving, blah, blah, blah. I think we, we all know that the cost of it, but some of that just, I was looking at, I, I, and it just kind of popped up badging that, you know, I mean, I, cause sometimes I'm reading sober articles and things like that.
01:17:18.85
Mike
Hmm.
01:17:26.87
Bill
I started getting, um, alcohol ads on my Facebook feed.
01:17:31.37
Mike
Hmm.
01:17:31.95
Bill
Which is really fucking weird, um you know, but I wonder if it's because again, if I'm posting stuff about alcohol related things that are somehow in my, in the sober, I don't know, however it is, but I'm like, delete, delete, delete, you know, the fucking ants.
01:17:33.64
Mike
Yeah.
01:17:39.26
Mike
Right.
01:17:43.47
Mike
Great.
01:17:45.60
Bill
I'm like, I don't need a fucking ant for some fucking cognac or whatever it is.
01:17:49.26
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:17:50.26
Bill
but um just kind of weird. i mean Usually that you get ads based on things you're searching for, which I'm not.
01:17:55.13
Mike
Right.
01:17:55.17
Bill
um got ya You know what I wonder? is literally after um because It was what day was this? The day I put this article in was Wednesday and I started seeing the alcohol ads on Thursday, so that's what it was.
01:18:07.60
Bill
I looked up the DUI stuff. Isn't that ah now that's fucked up.
01:18:12.93
Mike
Yeah.
01:18:13.00
Bill
When do you think, when do you think, I mean, seriously, when you think about that, that's got, that's gotta to be what it is. Cause I know what it is.
01:18:18.40
Mike
Sure.
01:18:18.58
Bill
ah There's cookies on websites and that's how shit will, you know, i end up showing up.
01:18:22.79
Mike
All right.
01:18:22.89
Bill
Um, but that's the, that's the only, that's man, that's fucking messed up.
01:18:27.31
Mike
That is.
01:18:27.29
Bill
Some dude, some dudes look it up. DUI stuff is like, Oh, it needs a boost. Here you go.
01:18:31.04
Mike
Yeah, here you go.
01:18:32.97
Bill
But yeah, that, that has to be it.
01:18:33.59
Mike
Well, help you right along.
01:18:35.46
Bill
yeah Because it was yesterday that I saw there was ah two liquor ads and then some beer ad um that I got just yesterday and I've never gotten alcohol ads on my Facebook feed.
01:18:43.43
Mike
Hmm.
01:18:44.52
Bill
um But yeah, that's yesterday or Wednesday was when I when I looked up that DUI thing. Ah, you know what? There you go. With people in society being being fucked up, right?
01:18:55.22
Bill
That's that that's just kind that's messed up.
01:18:55.49
Mike
Right.
01:18:57.56
Bill
I mean, i don't get I'm not really bothered by it.
01:18:57.70
Mike
That is.
01:18:59.55
Bill
It just kind of blows my mind a little bit. so Okay, a couple of final things. I heard, still listening to the Alex Van Halen book, he got sober in 1987.
01:19:09.17
Mike
Hmm.
01:19:11.31
Bill
So I was like, I had no idea because I think both of you and I had no idea that he was sober. but And then um here's the other thing that was kind of, he started talking about, you know, obviously their first album and stuff like that, which it was so funny.
01:19:17.28
Mike
Right.
01:19:25.34
Bill
I'm listening to this on the way on the way out here from Oklahoma City. um So they start talking about, again, the first Van Halen record, they're making whatever. So I'm like, I need to fucking listen to that. So I paused his book and listened to the whole album on Spotify.
01:19:35.79
Mike
Right.
01:19:38.73
Mike
Nice.
01:19:40.21
Bill
And then, of course, after that, they come back and he's talking, talking, talking, talking about the second album, like, why now I need to listen to that?
01:19:46.85
Mike
Right.
01:19:46.85
Bill
It's the same goddamn thing. I mean, I was in the car for fucking eight hours, you know?
01:19:50.95
Mike
Yeah.
01:19:51.65
Bill
So I'm listening to his book, listening to Van Halen, learning about Cuba.
01:19:56.82
Bill
Um, but so yeah I don't know if you've ever heard this, this blew my mind. So he said the, the opening sound to running with the devil, you know, that, that lead is just, do you know what, do you know you know what that is?
01:20:05.09
Mike
Yeah. Yeah, right. No.
01:20:08.17
Bill
The sound it's, it's literally a box full of car horns.
01:20:12.38
Mike
Hmm.
01:20:14.94
Bill
And he said, what they did was they used to, they take all this, all this shit. Like when they did their, when they first started doing like pyrotechnics, it's pyrotechnics and stuff like that. um They made their own and they're blowing shit up and just on their own, you know, setting it, just doing it all these different things.
01:20:26.34
Mike
Yeah. yeah
01:20:31.34
Bill
And they would just, you know, scramble together and, you know, Eddie's making up his own guitars and, you know, ripping things down and which, I mean, I'd heard that before.
01:20:35.18
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:20:38.13
Bill
But he said, yeah, what they did was they took all these different car horns out of different cars, of course, and put them into a box. And they used to they used to use that on stage, just like a noisemaker type of thing.
01:20:49.25
Mike
Right.
01:20:50.12
Bill
And what they did was they, whoever produced their record, I can't remember the guy's name, but they, there you go.
01:20:55.45
Mike
Ted Templeton.
01:20:57.35
Bill
so um what he ended up doing was obviously it was the the box so if you listen to it it's because i did and that's when i started listening to the album and then he said what he did was he just slowed it down at the end and then they came in with the bass and i'm like that is awesome
01:21:04.57
Mike
Right.
01:21:06.98
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.
01:21:12.67
Mike
Yeah.
01:21:13.46
Bill
And then I wouldn't listen to it. I mean, I'm listening to fucking running with the devil. What did it come out 78?
01:21:19.14
Mike
yeah Right.
01:21:19.59
Bill
I mean, you know, 50 fucking years almost.
01:21:21.81
Mike
Yeah.
01:21:22.21
Bill
And, um, you know, I've been listening to that fucking album for, you know, 48 years. And i hate knew it a box of fucking car horns.
01:21:30.57
Mike
Nice.
01:21:30.65
Bill
So I was just interested. I didn't know if I figured if anyone, if anyone that I know knew that that might've been you, but, um, that just fucking blew my mind.
01:21:39.51
Mike
Nice. Yeah, it makes sense. And now that you say that, I go, Oh yeah, that's exactly what that is.
01:21:43.98
Bill
know And then, yeah, what i but i when I turned it out, I'm like, yeah, I did the same goddamn thing. I'm like, yeah, well, of course that's what it is. Why wouldn't it be? All right, so one last thing that you hear about Denise Richards blew out a breast.
01:21:57.78
Mike
No, I did not.
01:22:00.85
Bill
Well, obviously, you know who Denise Richards is. If anyone doesn't know who Denise Richards is, look her up and then watch the movie, Wild Things.
01:22:04.02
Mike
Yeah.
01:22:07.28
Bill
It's just, it's softcore porn, if nothing else. But so she's on a show called um ah What is it fucking special forces?
01:22:17.31
Bill
Okay, so it's it's a bunch of celebrities that actually get get paired up with these special forces teams and blah blah blah I think Was it like Stephen Baldwin Denise Richards?
01:22:18.15
Mike
All right.
01:22:28.26
Bill
I can't remember the other people on it and see just another fucking celebrity re or reality show um but apparently there was part of it where they were jumping off a bridge or something like that and I don't know if when they jumped off the bridge oh yeah it says I jumped off a bridge too and that's when I ruptured my implants off of that thing.
01:22:48.76
Bill
And that's, that's like, there's like no other explanation. They brought it up on the morning show. I'm like, she fucking blew out a tire, man. I'm like, how the fuck do you, do you do that? I mean, did they have her, they must have had her in a harness or something like that.
01:22:59.13
Mike
right
01:23:00.63
Bill
I didn't read the article enough, but I'm just like, okay, so question. Cause maybe you would know you, you know things. So if you had, if you had a breast implant and you blew one out, I mean, you can die from that shit.
01:23:10.71
Mike
yeah ah Well, depends on what was in the implant.
01:23:12.92
Bill
Can't you? I mean, cause I could leak into you.
01:23:16.86
Mike
If it was a silicone one or a saline one, if it's a saline one, you're fine.
01:23:21.46
Bill
Eh, Facebooks, yeah.
01:23:23.59
Mike
Yeah, i I don't know. I haven't met her and don't know what the composition of her breast implants are.
01:23:31.00
Bill
All right, so if anyone listening wants to look that up and do the research and get back to us, cause I just, I just don't feel, you know, it'll be fun.
01:23:34.97
Mike
Yeah, please do.
01:23:38.06
Bill
A little homework for somebody out there. Look up Denise Richards and ruptured breasts and get back to us on that. Cause it, I just, I was laughing my ass off.
01:23:43.16
Mike
Yeah.
01:23:45.52
Bill
I'm like, I literally, I thought to be like, she fucking blew a tire. But I'm like, that's, that's kind of fucked up because I mean, the, obviously all the way to fix it, they got to get fucking cut open and throw a new one in there.
01:23:49.33
Mike
so so
01:23:55.85
Mike
Yeah, right.
01:23:56.28
Bill
But I'm just like, that's, that's, that sucks.
01:24:02.09
Bill
yeah that's that's a bad way to end off ah end off any day as well what would you do today it hit work honey well I blew out a tit.
01:24:07.64
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah, you're not going to throw a patch on that.
01:24:14.79
Bill
Right, yeah, not gonna just, yeah, not gonna plug that one up and keep going on. Okay, so um anything else, anything? I mean, I get i get other things on here, but it's ah it' ah it's getting to be about that time, and whew, it's late, it's almost 6.30, where I'm at.
01:24:28.52
Mike
her
01:24:32.04
Bill
But nah, just fuck it around. Do you get anything else, anything else going on with you, anything fun things from the week, or all good?
01:24:35.08
Mike
No, no, no, not a goddamn thing that work and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nope.
01:24:41.90
Bill
All right, so well, i guess ah I guess it's your turn then. I guess we're done. Are we done?
01:24:47.20
Mike
Are you through yet?
01:24:48.81
Bill
Are you serious? Go grab a towel.
01:24:53.38
Mike
Right. All right, well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of Silver Not Mature. As always, be kind to each other, be good to each other, go out there and do something nice for somebody else this week and don't tell anybody you did it. ah Let's see, and now from the bottom of my heart,
01:25:15.09
Mike
from the heart of my bottom to the depths of my soul from the beginning of time till the ends of the earth always and eternally fuck you and now it's that time kids who boy is it that time it's time for you to fuck off then keep fucking off Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here. Climb over that gate, dream the impossible dream, and keep fucking off forever.
01:25:55.96
Bill
you're doing fucking Shakespeare or something.
01:25:57.83
Mike
yeah Or not to fuck off.
01:25:58.93
Bill
To fuck off or not to fuck off?
01:26:02.59
Mike
That is the question.
01:26:02.74
Bill
That is the question. All right, I got one more quick thing I forgot. Remember ah ever Camelback Mountain I was telling you about?
01:26:08.91
Mike
Yeah.
01:26:11.32
Bill
I was getting all so riled up.
01:26:11.62
Mike
Yes.
01:26:12.76
Bill
I'm like, I'm going to go climb this fucking mountain. I can do whatever. Yeah, I'm not going to. So I started reading the reviews and just, okay, this, this, a couple of people are just really honest. They're like, first of all, really fucking busy.
01:26:24.21
Bill
It's hard, you know, all people coming up, coming back down, you got to leave space.
01:26:25.14
Mike
Right.
01:26:27.25
Bill
I'm like, I don't think I want any part of that. I could deal with it, but you know, um, but the guys like, uh, he goes, Hey, because this is, take my word for it. You know, some people are like, it's hard, it's this and that, blah, blah, blah, take your time.
01:26:39.04
Bill
This one guy's like, up I'm going to be honest. I've read the other reviews. He goes, this is a hard hike. He goes, if you have bad Ds, and I'm like, hmm, check.
01:26:44.31
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
01:26:47.93
Bill
um If you're not in pretty good shape, hmm, check.
01:26:51.91
Mike
Ding.
01:26:54.19
Bill
Or if you have any other ailments, and I'm like, ah, fuck me.
01:26:57.15
Mike
Yeah.
01:26:57.49
Bill
I'm like, I don't even know what ailments I may have.
01:27:00.21
Mike
Right. I'm an alcoholic. I can't climb that mountain.
01:27:04.04
Bill
But the basic thing is like, because I've had other people like hard trails, whatever. But this guy was just one of the recent reviews. He's like, listen, this is the deal kind of thing.
01:27:11.57
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:27:13.22
Bill
And I'm like, OK, thank you.
01:27:14.94
Mike
but
01:27:16.18
Bill
There's another trail that's kind of out in the desert. It's a little bit more like a moderate one that I can go on.
01:27:18.44
Mike
Right.
01:27:20.78
Bill
So I'm going to do that in the morning. And then we've got that meeting I was telling you about before we got on. And then we'll see if we'll watch the Packers win or lose.
01:27:25.44
Mike
Right.
01:27:28.72
Bill
But yeah, your lines don't think I'm going to have to play until next week.
01:27:32.38
Mike
No, they don't. They stopped all over those Vikings.
01:27:36.01
Bill
Yeah, they, they sure as fuck did. They, yeah, the Vikings couldn't, uh, they couldn't spell football that night. So, all right.
01:27:41.53
Mike
Nope. Sure as hell couldn't spell touchdown.
01:27:45.08
Bill
Yeah, that's for goddamn sure. But yeah, I just want to let you know, I, uh, I don't think I'm going to die on Sunday. If I, if I die, it's not going to be, it's not going to be from falling off.
01:27:50.61
Mike
Bye. Right.
01:27:52.92
Bill
At least it's not going to be from falling off camelback mountain. So just so you know, like I could go find a camel toe.
01:27:55.98
Mike
You go visit Camelback high school.
01:28:01.28
Bill
Hello.
01:28:01.87
Mike
Hmm.
01:28:03.85
Bill
All right, on that note, you know what? I love you, brother.
01:28:06.31
Mike
I love you too.
01:28:07.79
Bill
I know we'll talk soon.
01:28:09.25
Mike
We shall.
01:28:10.65
Bill
Bye.
01:28:11.86
Mike
Bye.
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