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Jan. 18, 2025
SoberNotMature - Episode 152 (Mood & Swings In The Morning)
The title comes up in the episode and it will make sense when you hear it. Just us having some laughs along the way.
Mike started off with his reading and it was about gifts. Recovery is a gift and the life that we get to enjoy when we do the work is a gift. It was a good conversation.
Mr. Baseball, Bob Uecker, died this week and we talked about that. He was a good dude and had a positive effect on millions of people during his life. He will be missed.
We chatted about hiking fails, how we act based on our childhood, fear, time and energy, getting better after getting sober, learning from our mistakes, making someone else's day go better and a list from the internet.
Mike even talked about jury duty.
Enjoy the episode.
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Store www.sobernotmatureshop.com
Transcript
00:00:01.60
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of Sober Not Mature. I missed the high note at that time. Another!
00:00:10.11
Mike
Yeah
00:00:11.22
Bill
Wait, let me just let me start over. ah Another! I'll edit that out. Another!
00:00:18.45
Bill
So i just real quick on that note, I figured out that it wasn't just the altitude in Albuquerque that's fucking with my sinuses. it's the It's the dryness, the lack of the lack of humidity.
00:00:29.23
Bill
Because i I'm still kind of stuffed up and stuff like that. And this is the most time. in And I'm in Phoenix, if anyone is is following along. But I think that this is the the longest I've ever spent in um in an area that's had you know like really low and like dry humidity like that.
00:00:46.37
Bill
or low
00:00:46.71
Mike
Right.
00:00:47.10
Bill
Low humidity and dry air.
00:00:48.65
Mike
Right.
00:00:48.83
Bill
But it's not terrible. ah Only thing I'm going to say is I'm glad I'm here and not there. And I'm glad I'm not in Wisconsin. and I'm glad I'm not going to be in Wisconsin next week because i I still listen to the Milwaukee Morning Show.
00:01:00.53
Bill
I know what's going on up there. So so I'm going to say.
00:01:02.31
Mike
ahha All right.
00:01:03.73
Bill
That's all I'm going to say. But yeah, they the stuffing said, think I think it had something to do with the altitude because I had like a headache, a mild headache all week. But I'm still, I'm stuffed up. And it's like fucking pissing me off like, god damn it.
00:01:16.48
Bill
but anyhow so something something we haven't done something we haven't done in a while
00:01:17.57
Mike
she she Yeah.
00:01:21.81
Mike
Yeah.
00:01:22.50
Bill
This podcast is brought to you by Zencaster.
00:01:25.82
Mike
Ah, hi Sancaster.
00:01:27.27
Bill
So I started thinking about it and you know obviously we've been using it for a while and I couldn't remember when it was. So I look back and does June 1st was our first episode.
00:01:33.82
Mike
Okay.
00:01:37.16
Bill
um I was in Branson, it was episode 119 and it was the Smirnoff free but still Yakkenoff, which one of my favorite titles by the way.
00:01:45.64
Mike
Right.
00:01:48.95
Bill
And, uh, so yeah, so seven and a half months, 33 episodes of pure, purely no issues, none whatsoever.
00:01:56.30
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Right.
00:01:58.09
Bill
You know, so thank you, thank you Zencaster. And I'm not going to say fuck you to Riverside, but, uh, you know, Hey, you know, a little, a little bit, because, uh, just because of the way that they, I don't know, they blamed everything on us, you know?
00:02:10.65
Mike
Right. Yes. They didn't take personal responsibility, those dumb Fox.
00:02:15.38
Bill
Right. Yeah.
00:02:16.50
Mike
Yeah.
00:02:16.67
Bill
And, uh,
00:02:17.02
Mike
Don't they know how freeing that is?
00:02:19.91
Bill
Yeah, exactly. But I mean, that was the that was the biggest problem. I mean, I get it. Like we did that that recording with the sober curator on Sunday, which is no big deal, but they they still use Riverside.
00:02:29.51
Mike
Yeah.
00:02:32.65
Bill
And just, ah I was asking Tamara before, so it was like a handful of people on there. It wasn't that big of a deal, but um it was recording through through Riverside.
00:02:42.28
Mike
Right.
00:02:42.49
Bill
And I just asked, I'm like, have you guys had any issues? She's like, no, you know a couple of things here and there, are nothing big.
00:02:46.46
Mike
Yeah.
00:02:47.15
Bill
you know And I noticed while we were recording though, a little bit with the you know kind of like the robotics, with the voice every once in a while, you know which we don't get anymore.
00:02:52.09
Mike
Yeah.
00:02:56.02
Bill
I mean, i I hear minor ones every once in a while, and I think it's depending on where I am, because I'll i'll get it like back feed from you, but it it never comes up on the recording.
00:02:56.08
Mike
No, we do not.
00:03:00.00
Mike
Hmm. Right.
00:03:05.90
Bill
you know So I don't know, it's just, anyhow, I just wanted the,
00:03:06.12
Mike
Right.
00:03:10.12
Bill
say a say a heads up in a in a hello in a you know thank you this is yeah at a boy's end caster so fucking cool you don't even need the e but um no i just i've been i obviously i know we had been very happy with this and it's simple and it's fucking cheap it's 20 bucks a month with the fuck i mean it's it's nothing so
00:03:11.70
Mike
Attaboy.
00:03:19.77
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Right.
00:03:31.22
Bill
All right, but um yeah, that's all I got. I talked about it, I talk about my sinuses, the weather, Zencaster.
00:03:35.12
Mike
Uh huh.
00:03:38.31
Bill
Yeah, I got more, I got more, but.
00:03:39.42
Mike
Oh, yeah. Good. Cause I got nothing.
00:03:44.22
Bill
Okay. You know, in the, I was going to say the only thing that you really have to bring to it.
00:03:44.61
Mike
Now I got a couple of things.
00:03:49.09
Bill
Cause as you've, you've identified yourself and I'm going to say this with the biggest fucking air quotes I can have both my arms are air quoting. You've identified yourself as the talent.
00:03:58.95
Mike
Right.
00:04:00.32
Bill
And that's all you're going to do is that talent just shows up and you, you do bring a reading and you usually look at who the, you know, who it's, whatever the background is of, you know, the fucking dude or lady that, you know, that wrote it.
00:04:03.64
Mike
That's right.
00:04:10.14
Mike
Well, you're gonna love this because I got nothing tonight.
00:04:11.75
Bill
So.
00:04:13.75
Mike
So we're gonna we're gonna spin the big wheel and see what the fuck happens.
00:04:18.13
Bill
You know, what I quite honestly, and I've said this before, you've done that a handful of times and it, number one, all none of the readings are bad. That's number one. But a lot of times we end up with a reading that for whatever reason, you know, it just, I don't know, it has something to do with whatever, with something.
00:04:25.67
Mike
Right.
00:04:30.20
Mike
Yeah.
00:04:32.91
Mike
way Way to build expectations.
00:04:33.06
Bill
like It has has something to do with something. There you go.
00:04:37.85
Mike
Well, that will, I guess I will guarantee it will, it will have something to do with something.
00:04:38.12
Bill
How's that?
00:04:42.38
Bill
yeah and That should be our tagline for our for ourrk par podcast. It'll have something to do with something.
00:04:49.50
Mike
Right.
00:04:51.00
Bill
I think I'm going to use that when I do the upcoming guest this week.
00:04:52.24
Mike
All right.
00:04:54.44
Bill
What are we going to talk about? I don't know. It'll have something to do with something. So, okay.
00:04:57.00
Mike
sir
00:04:58.76
Bill
All right.
00:04:59.09
Mike
All right. Now we're ready. Let me spit out.
00:05:00.69
Bill
I'm ready.
00:05:01.61
Mike
Let me spin the wheel here. rocketa a take take take it take it take it take did the alright well got here ru shit I see, uh, wow.
00:05:11.03
Bill
Dick.
00:05:20.41
Mike
It's, yeah, it's been a long week. We'll get into all that later.
00:05:22.94
Bill
Wait, wait, welcome, welcome to two old guys doing a podcast. one can One's talking about his sinuses, one can't find his glasses.
00:05:25.95
Mike
show
00:05:29.20
Mike
Oh, the glasses are on my face. I just can't fucking see.
00:05:32.49
Bill
hu Shit.
00:05:32.91
Mike
um
00:05:35.92
Mike
ah All right. June 17th is where the big wheel stopped. ah So here we go. Each day provides its own gifts.
00:05:47.95
Mike
o Ruth D. Friedman. I have no idea, because here we go. ah Oh, this is from Keep It Simple, by the way. All right, yeah let's see. Life is full of wonderful gifts. Recovery is life's greatest gift to us. If we're not excited about being sober, we need to check on ourselves. Are we keeping something secret?
00:06:15.76
Mike
Is there a sadness we need to talk about? Are we stuffing anger? These things eat away at our excitement for life. Many addicts never get the gift of recovery. Those of us in recovery are special. ah We have been given a new life.
00:06:37.18
Mike
There will be hard times, but the joy of getting a second chance will be stronger. Am I grateful that I've been giving that i been given recovery? Prayer for the day. Higher power. Help me see recovery as a gift. I deserve this gift because I am human. Help me to always accept this gift. Action for the day. At the end of the day, I will list three gifts that the day has given me.
00:07:07.93
Bill
Well, I'm wondering, I mean, do you have any, let's let's start with that, Mike.
00:07:09.16
Mike
yeah
00:07:14.25
Bill
How was was your day?
00:07:14.43
Mike
All right
00:07:17.07
Bill
And let's, ah I've got a pen handy here. Let's ah let's start out with your three, the three gifts of your day. Go ahead and start.
00:07:26.09
Mike
ah let's see. Well work is done. That's a fucking gift um It was actually above freezing here today and the Sun was out so that was
00:07:30.76
Bill
Yeah, that always that always works.
00:07:38.48
Mike
That was nice.
00:07:39.69
Bill
Right?
00:07:39.86
Mike
ah um Let's see a third one. um um Pizza was pretty fucking good tonight.
00:07:54.62
Bill
that's That's three, that that works.
00:07:55.71
Mike
That's three. Yeah.
00:07:57.81
Bill
So, and if i I was actually, when you were reading that off, I thought about my pizza because I'm, you know, well, we know, we well, I don't know if everyone remembers, I don't expect everyone to remember our lives, but we have pizza every night.
00:08:08.69
Bill
I think most people know that if you've listened.
00:08:10.59
Mike
every Friday night, not every night.
00:08:12.05
Bill
Did I say every night? Sorry, we have.
00:08:13.71
Mike
You did.
00:08:16.60
Mike
We are Ninja Turtles.
00:08:16.69
Bill
Welcome to... Welcome to old guy doesn't know what he just said.
00:08:20.68
Mike
ah Yes.
00:08:20.88
Bill
Wait, what did I say? yeah Okay, so every Friday night, sorry, we have pizza. um And Mike and I have been eating Domino's pizza for God, wow, now eight years, seven, eight years, something like that.
00:08:31.26
Mike
that well Well, I started when I moved into the house. So like five and a half years ago,
00:08:37.48
Bill
Yeah, and i I think I started, it you know, probably after I moved to, actually, you know what, probably same month, the five, six years, something like that. After a couple of years, at when I lived in Germantown, I was driving back and forth up to Little Caesars, and then they just start fucking up the pizza and was pissing me off.
00:08:47.66
Mike
Right. Hmm.
00:08:50.84
Bill
But speaking of that, that's the point. All these, I could go to the same place or all these different places I go to, and sometimes ah I'm shocked.
00:08:56.15
Mike
Hmm.
00:08:58.11
Bill
I'm like, this pizza's fucking wonderful. And then you look at it and you're like, okay, well, I'm not gonna go hungry.
00:09:00.39
Mike
Right.
00:09:04.25
Mike
Right.
00:09:04.25
Bill
yeah you know But tonight the the pizza was really good, so there that's one of my gifts. um just I'm just gonna say yes, it was above freezing here today also, and the and the sun was shining, okay?
00:09:09.17
Mike
Ah.
00:09:15.68
Mike
ah
00:09:16.70
Bill
and um whats ah another Another gift. you know nobody um I didn't get pissed off at work.
00:09:24.27
Mike
Ah, that's good.
00:09:25.87
Bill
yeah it was ah It was one of those days. It was was actually a smooth-ish day from a work standpoint.
00:09:31.20
Mike
Hmm.
00:09:31.47
Bill
and oh the other ah let's go Let's go for that was half and then the other half is, I don't have to pack up my shit tonight and iin't go anywhere. I'm here for another week.
00:09:38.05
Mike
Yeah, great.
00:09:40.21
Bill
because you know sometimes I really I don't mind um the weekly trips like that it's you know kind of different changes of pace and replace and pace um you know but sometimes it's just like it's really it's nice just not having to pack all my shit up and leave again so
00:09:53.59
Mike
Right. Yeah.
00:09:54.70
Bill
but
00:09:55.08
Mike
You don't have to put that, uh, bandana on the end of the stick. and
00:10:00.73
Bill
yeah rap I should do that. Wrap up we have a fucking bandana around my car.
00:10:05.79
Mike
yeah
00:10:06.61
Bill
Just put a big old stick hanging off the back of it because that's that's my pack of stuff, you know, is my is my car.
00:10:11.60
Mike
Yep.
00:10:12.14
Bill
But, oh God, there's fucking pigeons around here. There's pigeons that sit up like right on the, I don't know, under the awning on the on the porch. It's like a whole overhang type of thing.
00:10:21.93
Mike
Hmm.
00:10:22.28
Bill
And then these cement posts, basically, but bigger ones, and they sit up on top. They've got, clearly that they must be a problem around here because they got these little things all around areas where they could go.
00:10:33.38
Bill
But that's one area where it looks like almost like little spikes they put up there. So birds can't land.
00:10:37.05
Mike
Yeah, right. Yeah.
00:10:38.47
Bill
But it's like, I mean, I didn't see it when I first got here and I got fucking, I didn't get dive bombed. They were trying to fly out of there. It was like locked up. So now I know, but I mean, they're just in, they, but they fly out and they fly over my car.
00:10:49.59
Bill
I've got shit on my car. I've got fucking leaves all over my car. I'm like, Oh my God.
00:10:53.54
Mike
There's a gift.
00:10:53.65
Bill
But um yeah, there's a gift. i the the birds have The birds have gifted their feces on my on my vehicle. yeah but um But at least we came up with a few. And you know on on top of that, too, that we we missed the biggest one.
00:11:05.81
Bill
you know We woke up, well, two, we woke up.
00:11:08.75
Mike
Right.
00:11:10.24
Bill
And we woke up sober.
00:11:11.54
Mike
Yes, we did. And so far it, uh, you know, whatever time it is there and here it's a little, it's 741 been sober all day.
00:11:13.00
Bill
you know
00:11:21.20
Bill
Yeah, I mean, you got, look at that. You've been sober longer than me, her, her.
00:11:25.29
Mike
Ooh.
00:11:26.87
Bill
You got two hours on me there, brother.
00:11:28.61
Mike
Right.
00:11:28.86
Bill
You know, that's that's the old thing. We've talked about that too. But okay, so we got our gifts. I almost said we got our gifts out of the way. Fuck these things.
00:11:35.11
Mike
<unk>
00:11:35.91
Bill
Let's get out with real life.
00:11:37.22
Mike
Right.
00:11:37.60
Bill
But so the the reading, i and I like that. I mean, I do like the fact that, and I agree with the fact of how everything was in there, you know, speaking of and looking of or looking at and, you know, just taking recovery.
00:11:49.85
Bill
I think we should and one part of it in there was said that people don't listen to something along the lines that said people don't get the full. Point of recovery if they don't take it as a gift something like that, which I thought was was interesting but.
00:12:02.37
Bill
um You know, because it is, I mean in recovery is the greatest gift to people like us right.
00:12:02.77
Mike
Right.
00:12:08.62
Mike
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, clearly we said it a thousand times, you know, without re without recovery, without sobriety, we have nothing.
00:12:19.37
Bill
Yeah, we would literally be nothing because I think we've made it pretty goddamn clear that neither one of us, there's no way that we'd be we'd be running out here at 14 plus years from from that time.
00:12:21.68
Mike
Yeah. yeah
00:12:29.61
Bill
that Yeah, it it just wouldn't have i wouldn't um the made it 14 weeks, I don't think so.
00:12:30.35
Mike
Yeah, right. We'd be dead. No,
00:12:36.87
Bill
um But it talked about stuffing anger. Obviously, you know, that could be hugely problem problematic. um Maybe we'll jump back to that in a minute. But the one I wanted to to kind of focus on for a second was, it said, we deserve this gift because we are humans.
00:12:51.24
Bill
And we've talked about that before, that whole deserving thing.
00:12:51.55
Mike
ahha
00:12:55.15
Mike
Mm.
00:12:55.46
Bill
So how do you feel about that sentence?
00:12:58.02
Mike
um I personally don't like it.
00:13:00.81
Bill
Right.
00:13:02.53
Mike
Um, you know, i' clearly one of my character defects that I don't have anymore while I, you know, don't have much of anymore. Um, always going to have a little, um, is entitlement.
00:13:15.53
Bill
Right.
00:13:15.67
Mike
Right? I'm not entitled to fucking shit.
00:13:19.97
Mike
I'm entitled to pain and misery and and yeah. um and I'm not entitled to that either. I'm not entitled to anything. um Everything that I have, I earn.
00:13:30.75
Bill
Right.
00:13:31.14
Mike
And that's good. That's right. Um, you know, that along with recovery, I've earned this, I've worked at it and I continue to work at it and I've earned it.
00:13:41.81
Mike
Um, if, if I didn't work at it, I wouldn't have it. And I know that.
00:13:48.24
Bill
Right.
00:13:48.28
Mike
So, um, yeah, I, you know, no, I'm not entitled to anything. I, this, this gift I am due because I am human is bullshit.
00:13:59.31
Mike
Um,
00:14:01.66
Bill
Yeah,
00:14:04.51
Bill
yeah when i when I heard that line, because you and I have talked about the deserving, you know, just the word and the the the concept of um anything, you know, deserving anything. And it is, it we always talk about the same exact thing, which I think is worth repeating is like you just said, entitled, the give me the i'm I'm here, you know, I deserve a participation trophy.
00:14:22.00
Mike
Yes. Mm hmm.
00:14:24.26
Bill
um No, you don't, you know, and
00:14:25.92
Mike
Nope.
00:14:26.56
Bill
just because it goes back to even in the simplest of sense is when it comes to this whole thing. So somebody walks into or just decides, hey, I'm going to enter recovery.
00:14:38.38
Bill
I'm going to take this booze or this bag of drugs and I'm going to put it down.
00:14:42.12
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:14:42.23
Bill
I'm not doing any of this anymore. So I deserve everything now because I'm no longer, no longer an active participant in these things I just placed on the table.
00:14:47.25
Mike
Right.
00:14:50.64
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:14:53.52
Bill
Bullshit, ah fucking bullshit.
00:14:54.18
Mike
Exactly.
00:14:56.49
Bill
because now that's perfect okay you know just changing your breath putting down the bag whatever the case is putting down the needle um that's a wonderful start and you can't you can't do this thing without doing that part at least not right
00:14:59.75
Mike
Yes.
00:15:04.33
Mike
yes
00:15:07.21
Mike
Of course.
00:15:09.85
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:15:10.04
Bill
yeah um But I like the fact that you said that, you know, that earning it in I look, I think we've talked about the fact of we're, we're rewarded with, you know, we're we're given something, um you know, but basically by doing the work, we, we obtain something, we're not given anything, we obtain it, you know, based on the work that we do, right?
00:15:27.05
Mike
Right. Yes Exactly. And like we've said plenty of times, you know it's like happiness, man. It's it's a by-product. It's all a by-product. It's not a goal. It's not why I'm doing this. It's just it's it's a wonderful thing that happens because I'm doing the next right thing. um you know and And like I said, you know there's there's life gets hard and there's you know negative stuff happens and whatever, that's part of life too.
00:15:53.30
Mike
Um and but thankfully we can deal with it because we have these tools that we were given Um to deal with it without medicating ourselves And taking it out on the people around us Right I'm still a raging asshole
00:16:02.99
Bill
Right.
00:16:07.04
Bill
You know what? And that's ah that's a great fucking point, too, is that, I mean, there's one thing with having you know having tools to deal with the anger. But as long as, I mean, yeah, when you just said don't take it out on somebody else. Well, I'm not drinking. I'm dealing with life. But I'm you know taking it out on this person. I'm being a dick to that person.
00:16:23.25
Bill
Yeah, just in a different way. I'm not I'm not drowning drowning myself in booze or you know filling myself with some sort of drug But um yeah, I'm making somebody else's life miserable.
00:16:25.28
Mike
Right.
00:16:32.11
Bill
So yeah, that's it. That's a good point But yeah, I mean the tools are hugely important and that that is I mean, it's these things ah once again, you know, we we earn them based on the
00:16:34.06
Mike
Yeah.
00:16:42.12
Bill
on the work, on the physical actions that we take all day, every day. and they We don't necessarily have to be, it's not like you know building a house or anything like that. Some of these things are done you know quietly and in our basically in our minds.
00:16:54.85
Bill
and you know These are just these little things that we do that build our own foundations or maybe not.
00:16:55.14
Mike
Yep.
00:17:00.02
Bill
you know At the end of the day, I don't have like a physical project I could hold up and say, look at this.
00:17:04.28
Mike
Right.
00:17:04.95
Bill
I built this today unless I just want to go you know run my hands down the front of me and you know kind of in front of like here I am tada look what I built today I built myself um but stuffing anger I think is a is an important one because I mean I've talked about that that uh I mean I was I always had a
00:17:10.33
Mike
who yeah Right. Hmm.
00:17:27.27
Bill
i always had a quick fuse um and then it got to be a quick and basically volatile reactions to things you know um when i was younger i had no control and you know honestly and you know derek no offense you know if you happen to be listening to this but when you were you know your're your little three four and five year old self um I mean he had he had no he had no idea how to deal with this bottled up shit inside of him.
00:17:51.87
Bill
He wasn't like a messed up kid, he just had all this all this emotion and this strong will type of human being-ish stuff in him.
00:17:53.64
Mike
Right. Right.
00:18:00.71
Mike
great
00:18:00.77
Bill
and um It's just if something happened, he would just he would he would cry or he'd throw a fit or whatever it is, because he didn't know how to deal with it.
00:18:05.50
Mike
Mm-hmm, right
00:18:07.16
Bill
you know um But then the other thing is is that as as we get older, you know and like as you and I got into this whole addiction cycle, um I mean, obviously, i I only say obviously, I blew up quite a bit by also letting a lot of things stew.
00:18:23.52
Bill
I think you did the same thing, yes?
00:18:25.55
Mike
Sure. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
00:18:27.51
Bill
Okay.
00:18:27.53
Mike
Well, yeah again, you know, to yeah give yourself some fuel to have an excuse to get loaded. So, you know, you are justified and righteous in your fucked up-ness.
00:18:36.92
Bill
but Right.
00:18:39.74
Mike
Right. a
00:18:42.15
Bill
Righteous in your fucked upness. I think I get fucked up.
00:18:43.61
Mike
Yeah.
00:18:44.63
Bill
How do you spell that fucked upness? There we go, two S's.
00:18:46.54
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Three.
00:18:50.78
Bill
Yeah, three. but um But yeah, and then you know usually what happened is is I would let all these things you know fester in stew and then yeah, somebody would get i'd end up blowing up on somebody.
00:19:01.35
Bill
you know
00:19:01.43
Mike
Right.
00:19:02.29
Bill
um And I mean, I think there's, there happens to be health risks, I believe also, um you know, probably study and whatever. I don't think it's a good thing on your, on your brain or your body to, you know, to stuff all that anger.
00:19:14.83
Bill
Because again, it's just, that it's anxiety and it's it's stress and it's all those different things. But, um and there is that the things, two of the things that we go after all the time and that we, well, not go after, but end up with our peace and serenity, which you sure as fuck don't get when you're, when you're stuffing your anger, right?
00:19:27.45
Mike
Right.
00:19:31.95
Mike
Exactly. Right. then And thankfully I have a job where I get millions of little microbursts of anger all day long. so
00:19:43.39
Mike
Look at this asshole. Look at this dumb fuck. All right. yeah Fucker cut me. Another one cut me off. Yay. um Right. But it does. I certainly don't stuff anything. I let little little tiny bursts out. you know At the end of the day, I'm tired and satisfied and sitting in my house where no one's causing me to.
00:20:04.41
Mike
be angry and then dumped you know and it feels pretty damn good. There's nothing stuffed in there festering and and now it just doesn't happen anymore.
00:20:15.70
Bill
Right.
00:20:16.26
Mike
You know, I get if something pisses me off, I I express it not in a bad way but you know oh if I'm in a truck by myself and I'll express it in a bad way but ah but I get it the **** out is kind of my point.
00:20:16.51
Bill
Well. and
00:20:29.22
Mike
I don't stuff anything down. I don't let it fester and and then I move on. You know, I don't dwell on it, which is a wonderful gift from this thing. I don't, you know, it's say it happened.
00:20:38.81
Bill
Right.
00:20:40.67
Mike
Okay. That pissed me off. And next, now this next, this next moment, isn't pissing me off. Isn't that wonderful?
00:20:49.04
Bill
right Yeah, well, if you always say that, I mean, nothing nothing lasts. You know it's ah you know that it's it can only deal with what's happening right now, and the you know the next next moment or two might be shitty, or the next moment or two might be fucking wonderful.
00:20:54.40
Mike
Nope.
00:21:00.34
Mike
Hmm.
00:21:02.52
Bill
But yeah what I was gonna say, and um basically then, you know at the at the end of the day, worst case scenario, we've got that that opportunity to air that shit and clean our heads in the 10 step, right?
00:21:03.08
Mike
Right.
00:21:14.27
Mike
Right. Yup.
00:21:15.05
Bill
Yeah.
00:21:16.13
Mike
Yeah, exactly.
00:21:16.15
Bill
and it's ah
00:21:16.81
Mike
You know, go over it and and how did I really react? Did I really, yes, I got angry there for a second, but did I hurt anyone over it? No, I just released that bit of anger and moved on.
00:21:29.42
Bill
right Yeah, there's been times when, you know, I'll again, you know, you're, you're in a car by yourself and something like that happens. And it's just like motherfucker, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:37.80
Mike
Yup.
00:21:38.74
Bill
Then I'm like, ha wow, that was a, that was a little bit. I didn't need to be that animated about that.
00:21:43.30
Mike
Hmm.
00:21:43.52
Bill
You know, you know but But again, I didn't i didn't hurt anyone.
00:21:47.98
Mike
Right.
00:21:48.05
Bill
you know um I didn't affect anyone. it Literally at that point, I didn't flip somebody off, I didn't throw something, I didn't try to cut somebody off back or anything like that.
00:21:55.71
Mike
Right. Exactly.
00:21:56.85
Bill
But I'm like, but i'm like you know why did I even let that fucking idiot even even get that much out of me?
00:22:00.23
Mike
ah Exactly.
00:22:03.66
Bill
But again, i mean if if that's the worst that happens to me in a day or in a week, I think I'm doing okay.
00:22:09.96
Mike
exactly
00:22:12.19
Bill
but um And I know we've talked about it, but it's been, It's been a long time. It's been a long time since, ah you know, since I've had um anything in my 10 step or whatever it was.
00:22:23.75
Bill
It was a handful of months ago. I think that I, again, it was a friend of mine that I didn't <unk> say anything nasty, but I just, I felt that it was a,
00:22:29.68
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:22:32.45
Bill
There was a, ah I think it was a text message or something like that. And I felt after the fact that, that it was snotty, but that individual didn't take it that way.
00:22:35.75
Mike
Right.
00:22:39.50
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:22:41.23
Bill
But it was one of those things where after I sent it, I'm like, I think part of the, one night part of the problem, the problem was is I knew the tone in my head.
00:22:49.37
Mike
Sure.
00:22:50.32
Bill
And thankfully, that didn't completely come across in the in the words in the text.
00:22:52.34
Mike
Mm-hm.
00:22:55.23
Bill
um But then again, on the other hand, you know, sometimes text messages or emails or they could come off the wrong way when you're, I'm i'm happy as fuck and I say something and I'm like, they're like, what what do you mean by that?
00:22:59.34
Mike
Right.
00:23:02.76
Mike
Yeah.
00:23:04.18
Bill
I'm like, I read it again. I'm like, I meant nothing.
00:23:07.75
Mike
Right.
00:23:08.55
Bill
Amen. zero, you know, it was, it was a statement, it was a sentence.
00:23:10.49
Mike
Yeah.
00:23:13.23
Bill
But um that was the last time. And prior to that, I can't I can't remember the last time when what I've had to thankfully, you know, can't remember what I've had to go back in and try to make a correction after the fact, I'm not going to say that I haven't said something or done something.
00:23:24.81
Mike
hey Of course.
00:23:28.06
Bill
And then that same moment or within a couple of minutes after, you know, if the person's still around going, Hey, you know what, I didn't mean to snap or whatever. And
00:23:35.41
Mike
Right.
00:23:35.95
Bill
Again, nine times out of 10, the person's like, well, I didn't think you did.
00:23:38.50
Mike
Yeah. Right.
00:23:40.87
Bill
And I'm like, but you always say it. You're like, it doesn't matter. It's how, it's how we feel. And you know, we, we need to, again, always keep our side of the street clean, right?
00:23:49.01
Mike
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, and you were talking about that, you know, sending a text or whatever it is. It's actually one of the i positives of social media. Like I'll see something and I have a wonderful thought to answer whatever the nonsense is that's going on. and And, and I, I don't, I don't post, I don't comment.
00:24:12.09
Mike
I don't, I sit there and go, this would be fucking wonderful, but all it's going to do is, is spread negativity. And so I just, I move on and it's, it's, um, again, it's one of the few good things about social media.
00:24:20.93
Bill
Right.
00:24:26.28
Mike
It's like, I've learned exercising that, that muscle that we talk about doing that sort of thing. I exercise that muscle of just letting it fucking go and moving on.
00:24:36.83
Mike
not engaging, not, not jumping into the fray, not stirring shit, which was one of my favorite things to do for a very, very long time in real life.
00:24:48.19
Bill
Right. Yeah, I mean, quite honestly, it's, I, yeah and it's, social media, and I've even had it happen, you know, you get into, um you know, over the years, you get into like some sort of, again, like, let's say heated, but this, you know, let's call it that heated, you know, text message with your message string with somebody in the same thing.
00:25:00.97
Mike
Hmm.
00:25:07.45
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:25:08.06
Bill
Finally, you're like, what the fuck am I doing? You know, and yeah, and it's just like, okay, thank you.
00:25:10.04
Mike
Right? Why am I wasting my time with this?
00:25:14.18
Bill
You know, and then person's like, blah, blah, blah.
00:25:16.24
Mike
Right.
00:25:16.31
Bill
And you know, even when, even in my drinking days i mean i every once in a while i would have this this flash of wisdom that it takes two to argue you know and it didn't matter who was with it happened very rarely you know prior to me getting sober but when it when it did happen and i didn't engage it was it was amazing you know i never picked up on it.
00:25:25.33
Mike
Right.
00:25:35.51
Mike
Hmm.
00:25:38.22
Bill
But then, you know, once I get sober and stuff like that, whether it be because it would happen. ah um Mom was a great example of that.
00:25:44.21
Mike
Right.
00:25:44.62
Bill
I mean, mom had her she had her ways to love her to the death.
00:25:45.37
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:25:46.98
Bill
And we talked about our mom a lot.
00:25:47.27
Mike
he
00:25:49.13
Bill
um But every once in a while, I mean, she was just she was very kind and very compassionate, but also dipped on the edge of a generation that was non filtered.
00:25:58.45
Mike
right
00:25:59.32
Bill
um And I think that's a that's a good that's a big part of it um Because I don't think she was trying to be mean it just sometimes it just that's the way that she was you know But she would say some shit that was just not very nice You know it wasn't you know like you motherfucker you're a piece of shit, but she's I'm like oh Okay, I'm just gonna leave it.
00:26:07.90
Mike
Right.
00:26:10.80
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:26:13.78
Mike
Sure.
00:26:17.15
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:26:17.81
Bill
You know I've said a couple of times. I'm like well. I just said to her him'm like that's that was inappropriate unnecessary that was not kind You know and I'm done with it, and she'd just be like
00:26:25.71
Mike
Right.
00:26:28.95
Bill
this is this is You know, but anything like that, it is taking the high road is really fucking difficult. um But go back to the tools that we were given, you know, we've had the tools and the training and, you know, years of of practice, if nothing else, but on top of that, you know, watching people and learning from people, um you know, what what the positives can be from, you know, shutting our fucking mouths every once in a while.
00:26:53.80
Mike
a Yep.
00:26:57.29
Bill
yeah Even though it's a it's a lot of fun to you know so verbally spar with people every once in a while.
00:27:01.12
Mike
Oh, sure.
00:27:03.33
Bill
And I ah hate the fact that it is so fun or can be so fun.
00:27:06.34
Mike
Mm hmm. It is, but right. But it's, but it's cheap.
00:27:10.98
Bill
Right.
00:27:11.32
Mike
Like you said, taking the high road is difficult, but anything good generally is difficult. And ah yes. and And the results of it are much better than stirring shit.
00:27:24.02
Bill
Right.
00:27:24.83
Mike
Yep.
00:27:25.71
Bill
Yeah, and it and it is and it just ah yeah it's just it's it's just not worth it. you know And if if nothing else, I mean, i from a selfish standpoint, um I don't, because I know what's gonna happen.
00:27:30.18
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:27:36.35
Bill
I'm gonna get myself all lit up you know and I'm gonna just, it's the same thing.
00:27:38.30
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:27:40.23
Bill
you know Having a resentment against somebody is you know like feeding yourself poison and you know hoping for them to fucking fall over and die.
00:27:45.68
Mike
Yep, yep.
00:27:49.10
Bill
And that's really what it comes down to is it doesn't matter how wonderful my statement was sooner or later.
00:27:53.60
Mike
Right.
00:27:54.00
Bill
I mean, I'm going to end up still fucking stewing about it, you know, and it's going to, it's all it's going to do is fucking hurt me, you know?
00:27:57.07
Mike
and so Right.
00:28:00.05
Bill
So from a selfish standpoint, it's better for me just not to, just not to even get, not, not to engage and not to even get involved with all that fucking shit, you know?
00:28:07.38
Mike
Mm hmm. There's a gift.
00:28:11.04
Bill
That is a gift, right?
00:28:12.10
Mike
It is.
00:28:14.19
Bill
So anything else, ah any other any other gifts, anything else from the reading, anything like that?
00:28:19.36
Mike
No, no. Yeah. Like I said, that that was, that was totally opening the book, pointing at a page and reading it. So there it was.
00:28:27.47
Bill
Right. And I, honestly, I think it was a good one. I think it had a lot to do with a lot of things.
00:28:33.42
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:28:34.89
Bill
It had something, it had definitely had something to do with something.
00:28:38.30
Mike
It did.
00:28:40.90
Bill
All right, so, um, just real quick and I'm sure you heard about this, but I, I never thought I'd be able to use this sound effect and actually for a reason. So you're ready.
00:28:48.24
Mike
All right. Charge.
00:28:51.49
Bill
Bob, Bob Euchre died, which, uh, I mean, I know you, uh, you're a baseball guy.
00:28:53.15
Mike
Yeah, I know.
00:28:56.10
Bill
I mean, I know, you know who he is.
00:28:56.59
Mike
Right.
00:28:57.34
Bill
I don't know. It'd be, I think it'd be hard. I'm not going to say everyone knows who he is, but.
00:28:59.64
Mike
Well, I'm an alcoholic too. They had some wonderful beer commercials.
00:29:03.81
Bill
yeah right i yeah they were They were talking about him on the morning show, but again, I mean, he was a Milwaukee guy, you know, I mean, around around Milwaukee for years and in years and years.
00:29:08.16
Mike
I bet. Right. Yeah. Right.
00:29:12.87
Bill
and
00:29:13.17
Mike
Well, he called brewers games for 54 fucking years.
00:29:13.52
Bill
um
00:29:17.37
Bill
It was 57, I think.
00:29:18.81
Mike
Was it? I heard 54 couple of places.
00:29:19.89
Bill
right I could be wrong. I could be wrong. Whether it was, yeah, you know let's let's go with it. Because the same thing. It's not worth it for me to try and argue.
00:29:27.25
Mike
yeah Right.
00:29:27.32
Bill
you Oh yeah, and that clearly, because I was thinking that either way.
00:29:28.32
Mike
Over 50 years.
00:29:33.44
Bill
They talked about it and they said 50 something. I could have heard it wrong. So I'm going to give you that one.
00:29:36.93
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. All right.
00:29:38.48
Bill
Um, but yeah, I mean, he was a, um, I mean, obviously a Milwaukee legend. I mean, he was a, he was a movie and TV shows.
00:29:43.34
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:29:45.77
Bill
I forgot about Mr.
00:29:46.11
Mike
Sure.
00:29:47.05
Bill
Belvedere that he was in.
00:29:48.17
Mike
Right.
00:29:48.66
Bill
Obviously he was in major league.
00:29:50.50
Mike
Right.
00:29:50.57
Bill
Um, I was at his house once years ago, not, not in his house.
00:29:53.45
Mike
Really?
00:29:55.12
Bill
Okay.
00:29:55.27
Mike
Okay.
00:29:55.37
Bill
I was, I was at.
00:29:56.89
Mike
Okay.
00:29:57.60
Bill
So he lived in Menominee Falls, which where we went to that that Greek family restaurant, that's Menominee Falls, and then Dawn and I lived there.
00:30:03.40
Mike
Yeah. Right.
00:30:05.81
Bill
From where we were, um two, three miles south, there's a ah really nice subdivision along the golf course.
00:30:12.65
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:30:13.69
Bill
There's a country club golf course. ah I don't know if it's still North Hills, but that's what it used to be called.
00:30:15.34
Mike
Right.
00:30:18.24
Bill
I don't know if he still lived there you know up until the end, but when I worked for True Green, the lawn care service, we used to do neighborhood marketing.
00:30:20.03
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:30:26.80
Mike
Right.
00:30:27.18
Bill
And so we ended up in in that area. um So basically what we would do, we go around to current customers and basically was trying to upsell them on tree service or this and that and blah, blah, blah.
00:30:34.77
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:30:37.63
Bill
People who had our lawn service, then you'd visit them during the summer, physically on the lawns. But his was one of the ones, we were in his cul-de-sac, literally standing out in front of his house and we're looking at our sheets. We're like, Jesus Christ, that's fucking Yuke's house.
00:30:51.32
Bill
And the other dude's like, really? I'm like, well, yeah, but really big fucking letters, do not solicit, do not knock on the door, do not go there. You know, so like, because I mean, I think Bob can figure out what he what he wanted, um but it was a, it wasn't a mansion. It was like, if you went into, I'm trying to even think, like take take the subdivision that mom was in, okay? So newer homes are probably about, I don't know if they, well, maybe it were that age, because I mean, shit, this would have been 20 years ago that I was there.
00:31:17.72
Bill
um And then probably one and a half to two times the size of the homes. Okay, so that's style, you know.
00:31:22.74
Mike
great Right.
00:31:25.05
Bill
um But also they're golf course homes, you know. um So nice Harry in Menominee Falls and he lived there. I know he lived there for years.
00:31:31.88
Mike
Right.
00:31:31.94
Bill
um But yeah, and I just, they just said this morning and I didn't know what he died of. I didn't know he was sick. Apparently he had some form of lung cancer from what I, from what they were saying.
00:31:42.60
Bill
And even the this past season, because he was calling games this year, um you know, he was, you know, what, two weeks shy of fucking 91 or something like that.
00:31:46.17
Mike
yeah Right. Yeah.
00:31:51.46
Bill
um But they said that, you know, I guess he he kind of kept that quiet, but he would go, you know, do his treatments and then fucking head out to the ballpark.
00:31:58.78
Mike
Yeah.
00:32:01.18
Bill
And I guess whenever it was a handful of years ago when he stopped, because he used to travel with the team, um but when he stopped traveling with the team, I guess that he'd go out.
00:32:06.12
Mike
Sure.
00:32:09.89
Bill
They were just talking about that again this morning. He'd just go out to the ballpark and he'd you know hang out with the ground screw and stuff like that. And he'd either listen to or watch the game, but he'd he'd be at the ballpark every fucking time.
00:32:20.41
Mike
Right.
00:32:22.20
Bill
But the um the beer thing, and i I completely forgot about the Miller Lite commercials that he used to do.
00:32:27.02
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
00:32:28.77
Bill
So they were they were talking about this story that apparently there was this this kid, I mean, again, probably 20, 25 years ago, ah make a wish type of thing. The kid had some sort of rare form of cancer, ended up um getting a remission, blah, blah, blah, this and that.
00:32:41.82
Bill
But I mean, one of his things was he wanted to to meet Bob Euchre. And this kid had no idea how, at what level Euchre was at the time.
00:32:50.95
Mike
Right.
00:32:51.42
Bill
So apparently he's in the booth with him, yo you know, he was calling the game, doing the whole bit. And then I guess at at one point when the microphones were off, he's like, he's like, hey kid, you want a beer? He goes, you want a light? And the kid's like, nine.
00:33:03.87
Mike
Yeah.
00:33:05.07
Bill
Yeah, I mean, obviously he wasn't serious, but I mean, that was, ah it was just him and they, that's what they were saying to the whole, the whole Harry Doyle thing, major league was just, all that was was Bob Euchre, being Bob Euchre just, and they said, you know, minus the, minus the bottle of Jack Daniels, maybe.
00:33:12.76
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Right, maybe.
00:33:22.22
Bill
But yeah, it's one of those things that I i don't know, it's, it's, some it's, I don't know, it's it's hard to even say, you know, obviously the the man will be missed, but I mean, fucking 90 years old and the type of life that he led.
00:33:28.76
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:33:32.35
Bill
And um I don't know, have you ever heard anything bad about Bob Euchre?
00:33:36.48
Mike
No, no, no.
00:33:37.66
Bill
ever I mean it's it's like okay so you know to live a life like that and literally I mean months ago he was he was doing what he loved um I mean almost up to the to the day he died I mean what what the fuck else can you ask for out of life right so um when you're 90 going on 91 you still want to be driving a truck right is that your that's your
00:33:49.05
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:33:54.46
Mike
Not a damn thing.
00:34:04.22
Mike
No, that is a job. That is not what is not the love of my life.
00:34:08.79
Bill
Well, I know. And if i'm if I'm sitting behind a fucking computer trying to collect money from some from small business scab, i'm just gonna I'm gonna shoot myself at my at my desk.
00:34:18.39
Mike
Yes.
00:34:19.06
Bill
you know um But no, I mean, I don't even know what i what would make me completely happy to be able to do, but it's not this. I mean, yeah, this.
00:34:26.34
Mike
Right.
00:34:27.16
Bill
Literally the job that I do when I talked about it, you know, just, it's it, I make, I make enough money to do the things specifically. It's not even just, you know, Oh, I'm paying my bills. No, I'm working this job so I could do the things I'm doing right.
00:34:39.24
Bill
Fucking now, you know, and, um, I don't know, it's not a bad job.
00:34:40.22
Mike
Right.
00:34:43.16
Bill
but We don't need to get into, into workspace or work, work things again. But, um, I think, God, he lived in, he just lived in breed baseball and that's, I dunno, that's pretty cool.
00:34:50.81
Mike
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, you know, and he was fucking good at it too. I mean, I listened to some games he called, you know, I'd be driving driving up there or whatever just years and years ago, but yeah, you know, it'd be a Brewers game on and I'd put it on the radio and listen to you could call the fucking game and it was great.
00:34:58.77
Bill
Right.
00:35:08.87
Bill
Yeah. And there was, some God, it was when I was, I was back when I was Ubering. So it was prior to, ah obviously prior to the pandemic. So probably 2017, 18, 19, whatever it was, the brewers were like, I think they were that might've been the year that they made the run.
00:35:26.70
Bill
They didn't go to the World Series. They were like one game away, i whatever it was. they were They were doing really well. And I listened to, um i again, i was out I was out driving and listening to the game.
00:35:32.57
Mike
Right.
00:35:37.49
Bill
And I heard the end of the game and I hadn't, I don't listen to the baseball games, you know?
00:35:41.77
Mike
Right.
00:35:42.47
Bill
But I turned it on and I hadn't listened to anything from him in years. And um again, you're probably talking, we're talking five, six years ago, you know?
00:35:49.26
Mike
Sure.
00:35:49.39
Bill
So the dude's fucking 85.
00:35:51.70
Mike
Great.
00:35:52.87
Bill
and i'm like he is fucking awesome i mean just engaging it again i it's not that i don't like baseball i'm just not into it but i'm like i'm like on the edge of literally at the edge of my car seat listening to fucking uke with a call and everything i'm like i'm like right fucking there i'm like jesus christ this guy's good but uh yeah i mean it just i don't know
00:35:55.78
Mike
Yeah.
00:36:01.84
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:36:11.96
Mike
Yeah.
00:36:16.02
Bill
I figured that you heard about it. I mean, I don't know anyone unless, you know, unless you lived under a rock, you know, that you couldn't hear about him because he was, I mean, for what I mean, for what I understand.
00:36:18.02
Mike
Yeah.
00:36:22.40
Mike
is Right.
00:36:25.08
Bill
Yeah. You know, I saw on social media. yeah I mean, I heard about it that I was the next day I'm flipping through Instagram or Facebook. I don't even know who fucking posted.
00:36:35.89
Bill
I don't know if it was one of my friends, followers or whatever. But person's like, oh, my God, you died. He's been around my entire life. And I'm like, Oh my God, of course he has.
00:36:46.37
Mike
but Of course.
00:36:46.85
Bill
He was fucking 90.
00:36:48.90
Mike
Right. Unless you're a hundred fucking years old. Yes. He's better around your entire life.
00:36:52.95
Bill
Yeah, unless you're 92.
00:36:55.34
Mike
Right.
00:36:55.99
Bill
You know, or actually unless you're 91, 91 and older. But I'm like, it's just the stupidest fucking thing. No, I get that. You know, he's been a part of my life. You know, since I was a kid, I get all that, but he's been around my entire your life.
00:37:08.91
Bill
I was just like, oh, thank you. Thank you. Come again.
00:37:13.85
Bill
ah But anyhow, so yeah, Mr. Euchre, I know he'll be missed and yeah I was just, I don't know, I felt remiss and not mentioning that, so I would have felt remiss.
00:37:22.22
Mike
Right. Yep.
00:37:25.24
Bill
All right, so um remember when I was talking about Camelback Mountain and I said it wasn't gonna go on the big part so I wouldn't fall?
00:37:30.92
Mike
Right.
00:37:31.72
Bill
I fell twice.
00:37:32.70
Mike
yeah
00:37:36.14
Bill
ah This is so stupid. So I first got there. And I mean, first of all, and I'm sure you you saw the pictures, at least I'm guessing you did.
00:37:39.33
Mike
Right.
00:37:43.27
Bill
um But this whole mountain, I mean, it's it is a spectacular. It's a little bit cooler that day.
00:37:46.11
Mike
right
00:37:46.70
Bill
I was in the shade, the shade of the mountain most of the time. But it wasn't cold, but I had a long sleeve shirt on. It was pleasant, you know.
00:37:53.20
Mike
Mmhmm.
00:37:53.47
Bill
um But, you know, I'm i just got there and i walk up this one part of the trail and i'm trying to figure out because i wanted to take this side like the side trail that didn't the one part like went up to the left that actually went up and would climb up the fucking mountain i was basically at the base of the mountain went all the way along and then to this other side still just a nice walk it was beautiful you know um But there there's an area where you gotta walk down the stairs and then you gotta walk up these other stairs. There are actual stairs, it's not like just a trail with like whatever. And so I was taking a picture as I was walking up and I still had the phone in my hand and I i started to walk forward and I tripped on something and fell. I mean, phone screen right down onto the like the gravel part on the stairs, like almost my full weight. But the only thing that saved it is my knuckles were wrapped around the screen.
00:38:43.54
Bill
And I'm like, you know, you ever have like little pock marks from gravel, like kind of, yeah. So I had that, I still got a little couple of them left, but I'm like, well, that fucking hurt. I've been here for five fucking minutes and I fell already.
00:38:54.56
Mike
Nice.
00:38:54.62
Bill
I'm like, you're just stupid. And then on the way on the way back, um back down, not in the same section, but walk the entire thing. And then it is, it's this, it's this, that whole area is kind of like this red dirt and kind of like pea gravel.
00:39:08.41
Bill
thing it's it can be slippery if you're not paying attention, which clearly I wasn't, because I stepped on one part and did you know kind of what Kathy did when she broke her broke her arm or whatever it was, her shoulder or wrist or, yeah, and um I slipped and like just right out from under me and down on my arm, you know it hurt a little bit, but I mean, nothing wrong.
00:39:10.77
Mike
Mm hmm. Shoulder, right?
00:39:24.95
Bill
you know So apparently I'm not i'm not breakable but like she is, but I'm like, I'm like, yeah, i gotta I gotta make a note of that because the fact that I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing the big mountain because I don't wanna fall and then I fucking fell.
00:39:25.45
Mike
Well. who
00:39:37.51
Mike
Good.
00:39:37.66
Bill
I can't listen to you good.
00:39:42.66
Bill
But I don't know. I mean, it's ah it it was nice. it's It's nice around here. I really didn't get that get the kick around that much, but ah the place I'm seeing is nice. It's a three bedroom house. It's got a small bedroom upstairs and um very, very nice and quiet neighborhood too.
00:39:56.81
Bill
No issues or anything like that.
00:39:57.22
Mike
Cool.
00:39:58.16
Bill
Nice, kind of like, there's some, a lot of most of the yards have almost like these they're like um finished brick walls kind of around that's the fence uh which is kind of weird but i mean it when you think about it i'm like yeah brick wall but it looks it looks nice but i mean it's like everyone seems to have the the separated walls like that um but other than that i mean i didn't really get to kick around that much uh i think on sunday um there was well everyone was saying go to Sedona do this and that but that's fucking two hours away you know ah but there's another like a kind of a wilderness area forest mountain area like i don't know like an hour from here so i don't know on sunday we might kick over there and go see that but a couple of trails and whatever just to get out and you know kind of see what's see what's what but um
00:40:27.56
Mike
Right.
00:40:31.87
Mike
Hmm.
00:40:43.91
Bill
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's ah it's nice. I like it here. It is, the weather has been nice, which is kind of a gift because as I head north at the Prescott, and I've been looking at the the weather and you know even Amarillo and obviously you know Ozark's where I'm gonna be.
00:40:58.43
Bill
it's all It's all winter.
00:40:58.78
Mike
Mm hmm. Yep.
00:41:01.52
Bill
It's not bad, but I'm like, hmm, I guess I'll take advantage of it for the for next week while I'm here.
00:41:04.62
Mike
Uh huh.
00:41:06.33
Bill
so But um yeah, other than that, the Lions play this weekend.
00:41:11.70
Mike
Yes, they do.
00:41:13.16
Bill
Yeah, that'll be a good game. So but all right i'm just good I was trying to you know fill a little bit of time before we took a break, but I could just ramble for another four minutes or something like that, or we could take a break if you want. It's up to you.
00:41:22.59
Mike
You know what? I think we will take a break.
00:41:25.52
Bill
All right.
00:41:25.55
Mike
So we'll be back with more of something about something right after these words from our sponsor.
00:41:41.06
Bill
All right, everyone, welcome back. Yes, let's start talking about something about, what did you say, something else?
00:41:47.53
Mike
Something about something.
00:41:49.05
Bill
Something about someone and something about something, there you go. All right, think I yeah think I have some shit written down, so what do you what do you think? Should I read some shit that I got written down?
00:41:59.03
Mike
Do something cause I got nothing.
00:42:02.56
Bill
All right, so this one, well, this one, I have touchstones. This one came out of touchstones.
00:42:08.83
Bill
Some of us were treated badly. I've got in parentheses. Let's take a journey back to our childhood. I don't know why I wrote this down, but let's see what that leads into, everybody.
00:42:17.47
Mike
All right.
00:42:20.16
Bill
Some of us were treated badly as young boys and never learned how to live for ourselves.
00:42:23.62
Mike
Hmm.
00:42:26.43
Bill
we can see only two choices, either be submissive or caretaking or be abusive or demanding. So my the reason I wrote that down, it was kind of, I don't know, kind of therapy-ish, which is not either one of our hurt things, but it started to make me think a little bit, you know, because um you and I had both talked a little bit about our childhood childhoods.
00:42:42.11
Mike
Right.
00:42:49.98
Mike
Right.
00:42:50.10
Bill
And even though um neither one of us placed blame on where we came from, um or anything like that, our environments for, you know, who we are and why we drank and all those sort of things.
00:43:00.84
Mike
Right.
00:43:01.49
Bill
I just started to think if, you know, it it was interesting to me, so I have nothing else. So some of us were treated badly as young, let's say, you know, young people, young boys, and never learned how to live for ourselves.
00:43:12.62
Bill
um Do you think that's true at all? I mean, or do you feel you were more independent? Or do you think that even if you don't, not the whole treated badly thing, but do you think you'd ever really learned how to live for yourself at that time as a child?
00:43:24.89
Bill
or
00:43:25.97
Mike
I mean, I'm fucking alcoholic and a drug addict, man. All I did was live for myself. That was the problem.
00:43:34.81
Bill
Right.
00:43:35.51
Mike
Yeah. Um, yeah, you know, I, I never learned to do anything for anybody else. You know, um, again, the entitled and expected everyone to take care of me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:43:46.38
Mike
Even, you know, my needs weren't being met. So God damn it, the world owes me. Um, Yeah, that, that kind of bullshit. No, it, it, and, and never, I don't know, both of those options either, you know, being but whatever a caregiver, submit, submissive.
00:43:55.22
Bill
Right.
00:44:03.54
Bill
Submissive, yes, submissive or caretaking.
00:44:04.39
Mike
Yes. Right. Or, or the other one to, you know, yeah try to abuse, right.
00:44:09.68
Bill
Abusive or demanding.
00:44:11.65
Mike
Exact, well, demanding, definitely.
00:44:12.99
Bill
um Abusive and demanding, I'm sorry.
00:44:14.47
Mike
Right. Yeah. Definitely demanding. Um, but, um, you know, not necessarily abusive.
00:44:16.58
Bill
Right.
00:44:20.65
Mike
I mean, you know, sure. I'm an asshole. So that's abusive, but, um, but yeah, no, neither one of those, um, yeah.
00:44:24.24
Bill
Right.
00:44:28.12
Mike
Selfish self-centered. I'm going to fucking take care of myself and fuck everybody else. Um, that's where it took me. Um, you know, yeah.
00:44:35.39
Bill
Right.
00:44:37.06
Mike
Now I'm entitled and I know I didn't get everything I fucking thought I deserved and demanded and whatever. So I'm i'm going to continue to act like I deserve and demand everything. Yeah. Idiot.
00:44:49.72
Bill
Right. Yeah. And you know, maybe when I was looking at this and now that I'm looking at a little bit more, you know, learn how to live for ourselves. I mean, I, you know, I'm wondering if I, I, I think that, uh, well, I always thought to myself that, you know, I, I had everything under control and I was taking care of things or whatever, which I wasn't, you know, I always had to rely on somebody else.
00:45:07.60
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
00:45:10.24
Bill
So that was one thing kind of like what you had said too, where, you know, kind of, um, you know, taking from people and living off of people and blah, blah, blah.
00:45:13.38
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:45:17.64
Bill
But then the, you know, kind of submissive and caretaking, you know, I think that I probably was yeah a little bit more on that side of things as a kid, just based on, I think a little bit how mom was, because I mean, I was, mom was a, she always kind of a strong individual, um you know, kind of like, ah I was, I think more of a people pleaser at that point.
00:45:30.24
Mike
Right.
00:45:36.45
Mike
right
00:45:37.27
Bill
But then as I got a little bit older, I think that i that's when I turned into being more you obviously, if nothing else, verbally and and mentally abusive and and demanding of, you know, there's a one ah wonder why I have two ex-wives, right?
00:45:49.46
Mike
Right.
00:45:50.11
Bill
You know, and then maybe that's why I wrote that. Because ah the more I'm thinking, I'm looking at this, I'm like, what the fuck did I write this down? But then, but that's why, because I kind of, I had those little flashes and in my head. But you know, and I don't, again, the the the only thing is the the opening line, some of us who treat it badly is young boy.
00:46:04.81
Bill
you know I don't necessarily blame it on that I mean yes I mean we're a product of our environment to an extent and blah blah blah and I don't know I mean I I can't I would never well I did it's not that I never blamed other people before but I mean once I you know popped my head clearly out of my ass and stuff like that I mean I'm not gonna look back and oh well it's my dad's fault because he was an alcoholic and I inherited that
00:46:28.78
Mike
Sure. Right.
00:46:30.49
Bill
It's my mom's fault because you know I could never do anything right. and you know She always wanted more and whatever I had wasn't good enough. and All those things are fucking true.
00:46:38.02
Mike
Right.
00:46:39.16
Bill
My dad was an alcoholic and that's how my mom was.
00:46:40.46
Mike
Sure. Right.
00:46:41.85
Bill
you know but um that doesn't I can't look back and be like, they chased me into the bottle.
00:46:50.72
Mike
Right.
00:46:52.93
Bill
It just makes me laugh to even think about it. But I don't know. Just as I was thinking about it, I'm like, maybe it's shaped me a little bit until I had the opportunity because I clouded my judgment anyhow with alcohol for years.
00:47:09.17
Mike
Right.
00:47:09.57
Bill
And so I think that maybe some of those things were true until I truly, going back to what we were talking about before, found the gift of this program and the gift of recovery and the gift of taking responsibility for myself.
00:47:22.56
Bill
um You know trying to make a better better person out of me and obviously trying to make ah my little corner of the world a better place, right?
00:47:29.55
Mike
That's right.
00:47:32.31
Bill
But yeah, I don't I have no desire whatsoever to Sit there and I don't know. I mean I it would it would give me a fucking headache and I used to I can't even I don't even understand how I How I had the fucking energy to try to blame people before because I I did I blamed everyone for everything
00:47:47.30
Mike
Right. Mm hmm. Yeah, of course. That's that's what we do. Right. Absolutely. Nothing is our fault. And yeah, and there's there's no fucking power in that, man.
00:48:01.73
Mike
You know, I have, you know, ah lack of control. That was our dilemma. I read that somewhere.
00:48:06.95
Bill
Right.
00:48:07.18
Mike
And um yeah, it's absolutely true. You know, taking responsibility for everything gives me control. And, you know, I don't have that dilemma anymore.
00:48:19.68
Bill
Right. Yeah, I don't know what just, what you always talk about, you know, burden, you got the calories, burning up those calories for all that, all that shit.
00:48:26.52
Mike
Yep, exactly. Mm.
00:48:29.49
Bill
So this is another one that I was just kind of glancing my eyes, just caught this one as you were, as you were wrapping up there. um do you let This is from Keep It Simple. Do you let yourself be afraid of your illness?
00:48:41.43
Bill
And then it said, you'd better. Many of us were scared into sobriety, often a spiritual awakening directly follows a good scare. ah Fear seems to improve our vision.
00:48:52.22
Bill
So that's got a couple of parts, but the same type of thing. Do you need me to read reread that or any part of it or no?
00:48:58.06
Mike
No, I got it.
00:48:59.39
Bill
Okay.
00:49:00.08
Mike
Right. Absolutely. Um, yes, I'm scared to fucking death of my disease. Uh, And that's a very good thing.
00:49:10.29
Bill
Mm hmm.
00:49:10.74
Mike
Um, yeah. Cause you know, the minute I'm not scared of it, that's first step, man. Um, you know, the minute I'm not scared of it, then I'll think I have some sort of power over it. And, um, no, I don't.
00:49:22.08
Mike
And then I'm fucked.
00:49:22.29
Bill
Right.
00:49:23.18
Mike
Um, I can handle it. I can't. Um, yes, it is. It's, it scares the hell out of me. What it can do to me, what it has done to me and what it will do to me if I allow it to again.
00:49:35.38
Mike
Um, so. Yeah, ah you know fear. Yeah. Fear is a good motivator, man. You know, I mean, we, we talk a lot about fear and stuff and, you know, yes, we can't live in fear and all that good stuff, but having a healthy fear of things that we should be scared of is a very good thing.
00:49:41.06
Bill
Right.
00:49:53.79
Mike
And it keeps us ah keeps me doing what I'm supposed to do. Cause I don't, you know, I don't, I, It scares me. I don't want that shit in my life anymore. So yes, um fear yeah it's good, man. It gets you motivated. um I mean, my favorite. um um one of my absolute favorite readings out of God Grant Me, um which I used to do in groups, so I kind of have it in my head. um it's it's a It's a quote from Winnie the Pooh, and it's like, you know, Piglet was scared, I'm paraphrasing, but Piglet was scared and it it made him get moving, basically, and that's a stick. Yes, that scares me. I need to move away from it.
00:50:35.88
Bill
Right?
00:50:36.43
Mike
Yeah. You know, gets you into action, man. I'm scared. Okay. What do I need to do to get away from this fear to get it out of my life to, to, yes, puts me into action. And then this is a program of action. So fear is, is definitely a part of it.
00:50:53.38
Bill
Right. And you you use the word us and then you change the word to me. You can use us. You can you can speak for me as I'm right there with you.
00:50:59.30
Mike
Yeah. Right. Right.
00:51:02.87
Bill
But you know, and We had talked about, well, once again, less than a year ago, whatever it was, maybe it was a year ago now, but time fucking flies. But on here, on this little podcast that we do, and that's when I had the revelation based on whatever we were talking about, probably something you said, that I'm like, Jesus Christ, every one of my fucking problems is based in fear.
00:51:25.48
Mike
Right.
00:51:25.52
Bill
I'm like, what the fuck? You know, and I'm, you know, at that point, 13 plus years sober and I'm like, Jesus Christ, everything.
00:51:29.84
Mike
Right.
00:51:33.47
Bill
and And I start thinking about it. And when, again, I'll say, quote unquote, when shit happens to me or things happen around me or whatever it is, or I react a certain way, or I'm feeling a certain way.
00:51:44.42
Mike
right
00:51:44.49
Bill
I'm like, motherfucker, I might have to think about it for a minute.
00:51:47.67
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:51:48.43
Bill
But I can find the fear, you know, and even if it's something maybe I've got to stretch a little bit, I'm like, no, no, no, even though it's a stretch, that's where it's coming from.
00:51:49.92
Mike
Yep.
00:51:56.27
Bill
You know, it's an offshoot of this other fucking thing, whatever it is. um And yeah, you know what, it was the same thing we were talking about something a few weeks ago. And I said, it you know, kind of make me my stomach upset thinking about it.
00:52:08.56
Bill
You said good.
00:52:09.76
Mike
Right.
00:52:10.81
Bill
And it is, I mean, I am so grateful that I still have that that feeling. you know To this day, um not only thinking about something, about maybe something happened to somebody else, or but even more importantly, you know being in a situation where I'm like, something's fucked up.
00:52:17.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:52:29.18
Bill
you know And I don't know what it is, but I gotta go, or I gotta to fix it, or I gotta to you know just back away from it.
00:52:29.48
Mike
Right.
00:52:35.16
Bill
I gotta to change something, ah because something here is just not fucking right. you know
00:52:39.95
Mike
Right.
00:52:40.81
Bill
And having that, I don't know, people call it a sixth sense. I don't think it is.
00:52:43.65
Mike
Great.
00:52:44.18
Bill
It's just in your in your head, you know what right and wrong is.
00:52:46.76
Mike
great
00:52:47.12
Bill
And you know when shit doesn't feel right, you know?
00:52:49.14
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. You know, when things are wrong and and so you either write that, then it takes you to the fucking serenity prayer.
00:52:51.89
Bill
Right.
00:52:57.96
Mike
Is it something I can do? Is it something that I can't do? And I need to know the fucking difference.
00:53:04.49
Bill
Right. Yeah. And again, back to, back to the gifts, man. That's a, that's a gift that I hope never goes away because ah you you said that perfectly too, that if, yeah, if we're, if we're not afraid of this, of this thing, you know, this whole disease, um, yeah, that's, that's the time we're like, eh, ain't no thing.
00:53:17.61
Mike
z
00:53:22.96
Mike
Hey, it's nothing. It's fine. I can write and then I will convince myself cause I can justify it, rationalize anything.
00:53:32.85
Bill
Right.
00:53:32.95
Mike
I will convince myself that I can handle it again.
00:53:36.37
Bill
Right.
00:53:36.62
Mike
yeah Right. Like I handled it 14 and a half, 15 years ago. Right.
00:53:44.14
Bill
right Yeah, handled.
00:53:44.72
Mike
it' I was handling it.
00:53:47.52
Bill
ah You were handling it, not, done well, you were handling it but depending on who was looking at it. You you weren't handling it very well.
00:53:53.82
Mike
No, I was not.
00:53:55.24
Bill
Let's say it was somebody that was, you know, right along, right alongside you in the same circumstance, like, hey, he only fell twice. I fell three times.
00:54:03.09
Mike
Right. Hey, I'm not, it I'm not as bad as he is.
00:54:04.00
Bill
He's handling him.
00:54:06.91
Bill
hey He got two black guys. Oh, he only got one.
00:54:11.45
Mike
All right.
00:54:12.12
Bill
I'm in good shape. I'm in good shape. So yeah, but it is a fear. Fear is a, I like how you said that too. Fear is a good motivator.
00:54:19.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:54:19.70
Bill
And yeah, it's having a healthy fear. You know, we don't want to be, you know, petrified by, by life or paralyzed by it, but yeah, nothing wrong with, with having a healthy fear, right?
00:54:22.65
Mike
Yep. No.
00:54:28.35
Mike
Mm-hmm.
00:54:32.97
Bill
um Ooh. I'm just gonna read this one, I don't even know what it says. From God grant me, it can't be too bad, right?
00:54:39.28
Mike
Right.
00:54:42.79
Bill
Right. ah Today I will think about my time and energy as the most important things um I spend in my life. What do I invest my time and energy in and what do I get back?
00:54:55.47
Bill
Mike.
00:54:55.52
Mike
Right. for Um, yeah, I invest my time and energy in, um, yeah, positive things. I try, you know, whether it's, you know, we've talked about it, whether it's fucking, you know, sit and veg it out. Cause I need to recharge my goddamn batteries or, you know, um, uh,
00:55:20.98
Mike
planting flowers in front of my house so the neighbors have something nice to look at. Cause I'm looking at it maybe 10 minutes a day, maybe.
00:55:28.66
Bill
Right.
00:55:28.84
Mike
Um, yeah, well, um, that's yeah. And I'm not wasting that wasting my time and energy on again, that shit that I can't change that shit that that's that gives me that bad feeling in my stomach.
00:55:46.00
Mike
Um, all of that nonsense, you know, I, everything,
00:55:51.70
Mike
90% of what I do today is positive, you know, one way or another. I mean, it might, and it's little things and it doesn't seem like it's much of anything again, you know, sitting, watching a baseball game, you know, recharging my batteries. So I have energy the next day to do what I need to do.
00:56:11.93
Mike
Um, that's, that's positive, you know, it's, it's small and it's not earth changing.
00:56:11.93
Bill
Right.
00:56:17.65
Mike
And I, you know, fuck, first of all, I can't change the world. Second of all, I don't want to anymore.
00:56:26.33
Mike
because again, it's a waste of **** time of just my little corner of it. So, yeah, yeah, that's that's what I use, you know, my time and and and those, you know, that 20 minutes in the morning to get my head right to go out into the day and not hurt people like I you want to.
00:56:47.47
Bill
Right, yeah.
00:56:48.44
Mike
Right? Yes. You know, which is my nature. You know, my nature is to like I said earlier, stirring shit up. I don't do that anymore, but I need to take that time to step away from my nature.
00:57:04.49
Bill
Right. Well, you know, and and we had talked about that. I don't know whatever that was a few weeks ago with, you know, sitting around and um again, sitting around and doing what what somebody might look at is doing nothing, you know, watching a baseball game, messing around social media, whatever the deal is. But, you know, that time is important because i mean Granted, yeah and I'm glad you brought up the readings too, because that's important time that you and I spend um you know and focus our energy on you know for ourselves and for others, because i don't think we're I know I'm not going to be good to myself, and I'm sure as fuck, I'm probably going to be better to myself than I would to somebody else, at least to begin with, because again, selfish and self-centered, right?
00:57:36.93
Mike
Right.
00:57:41.09
Mike
Yup.
00:57:46.93
Bill
I'm going to take it out of this motherfucker over there. um So that's time well spent, but yeah, every once in a while, just sitting and doing fucking nothing.
00:57:54.96
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:57:55.20
Bill
Recharging your batteries, getting yourself you know mentally and physically in a, I mean, you gotta think about it. If nothing else, think about how anyone as a normal human being feels, you know not even hungover, but just not getting enough sleep or not eating right or anything like that.
00:58:06.18
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:58:10.31
Bill
You just don't feel good. you know
00:58:11.75
Mike
Right.
00:58:12.45
Bill
And if you're tired, um even as a, again, a non sober individual, just a fucking normie out there, you're less likely to snap at somebody if you're tired. You know, and, and if I, I mean, I've gotten to the point where, yeah.
00:58:23.88
Mike
Or more likely.
00:58:26.91
Bill
Yeah. But, um you know, so in eating too, you know, I mean, I, I'd be a fucking fool not to eat on a regular basis because I get a headache.
00:58:32.96
Mike
Hmm.
00:58:34.10
Bill
And if I get a headache, I want to fucking, you know, I, I'm going to yell at somebody, you know,
00:58:37.48
Mike
Right.
00:58:38.56
Bill
nothing to do with the other person.
00:58:40.32
Mike
Yeah.
00:58:40.54
Bill
um But you know that the thing of it is, and I don't even know what and what brought this up, if it was something I was watching, something i was watching whatever the deal is, but and I felt this way for a long time, I'm all about quality time, whether it be with you know ah people, i mean family and friends, you know obviously spending time with you.
00:58:51.74
Mike
Yeah.
00:58:56.43
Bill
You and I don't spend a lot of time together, but when we do, you know, I i consider it, it's quality time, you know, even if we're doing nothing, you know, um it is, it's quality time.
00:59:01.85
Mike
yeah Right.
00:59:06.18
Bill
It's not necessarily the the quantity, it is the quality of my kids, my family, all that sort of thing. And, you know, really, when you think about it, it again, I don't remember what crossed my mind or why this crossed my mind, but that's the um That's one of the biggest gifts somebody can give you as their time, you know?
00:59:22.82
Mike
oh absolutely.
00:59:23.06
Bill
Because it's the one thing that you can never get back. If somebody chooses to to actually spend their time with me, you know, or I get that time, you know, with somebody else, I mean, that's that's huge.
00:59:27.33
Mike
Mm hmm.
00:59:34.47
Bill
That's better. I'd rather have that than somebody give me, well, I mean, I'll take 100 bucks, I guess.
00:59:39.36
Mike
Yeah.
00:59:40.08
Bill
Give me the choice. if i had If I had the choice of spending an hour with my children or somebody gave me $100, I'd spend an hour with my kids.
00:59:41.75
Mike
Right.
00:59:47.27
Bill
you know I mean, because you can't buy that.
00:59:47.49
Mike
Absolutely.
00:59:50.10
Bill
I can't buy that hour at a time. I could never get that back. you know um Again, whether you're just sitting there and doing nothing, it's just time spent with people that you love and care about. you know so But I mean, yeah, good point.
01:00:02.37
Bill
I mean, you even even at work, even when people are trying to you know fucking irritate us, maybe not trying to, but people crossing our paths and and irritating us, you know um I still, I try to you know keep my shit together because again, it's selfish, but that whatever energy that you know that I create to it inside myself, if it's a bunch of fucking negative energy throughout the day, I mean, I'm gonna take that,
01:00:09.94
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:00:27.39
Bill
I'm going to take that with me when I'm done working.
01:00:27.78
Mike
Yep, absolutely.
01:00:30.18
Bill
You know, and even if I'm not around anyone that day, um I'm going to end up fucking up my night because I'm just going to have I'm going to start replaying all this fucking garbage in my head and I'm going to it's going to take away.
01:00:39.50
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:00:41.56
Bill
I'm going to steal. I'm going to steal time for myself and I'm not willing to do that today, you know.
01:00:45.03
Mike
Right.
01:00:48.41
Bill
So yeah, not enough and enough calories in this world, as you say, to waste them on stuff, right?
01:00:48.80
Mike
Exactly.
01:00:53.17
Mike
ah exactly
01:00:54.81
Bill
All right, ah from the 24 Hour Book. So again, one of the things that have been popping up more and more from them or from that book, Since I came into AA, and I know the answer to this, but it says, am I getting better physically and mentally? that I think that we can both agree that we've got better physically and mentally, but my question to that part of the reading was, how long before you, Mike,
01:01:20.25
Mike
Hmm.
01:01:20.39
Bill
um felt that you were getting better physically and mentally um this time in when you walked into the Keating Center, obviously, and that sort of thing.
01:01:27.74
Mike
Right.
01:01:29.29
Bill
how How long do you think until you felt like you were getting physically and mentally better?
01:01:34.59
Mike
Um, I mean, physically, you know, fairly quickly, um, you know, and then I went to work in that metal shop and beat the shit out of myself for a year and a half.
01:01:45.54
Mike
That was, but no, I mean, but it did, you know, that made me get stronger too. So it was, you know, it was a bitch those first few weeks. Um, um, yeah, but I mean, mentally, um, oh six months to a year till I really started coming back.
01:02:04.72
Mike
I mean, you know, I, I talked about Jesus, man, I was having trouble doing simple math. Um,
01:02:09.87
Bill
Right.
01:02:10.50
Mike
you know, at the end there, I mean, uh, it was, I was getting fucking wet brain. I know I was.
01:02:16.83
Bill
Right.
01:02:17.10
Mike
Um, so yeah, I mean, you know, I clearly, it was, you know, started getting better, fairly fast, but, um, yeah, fully getting my mental back it was nine months to a year till I was like, really?
01:02:35.06
Mike
Oh shit. I could think, and I can, you know, back to like, You know, when I was younger, when I could actually think about things and, it you know, put literally two and two together, um, you know, Oh, this is this way.
01:02:43.68
Bill
Right.
01:02:50.58
Mike
So that means this is this way. And yeah, it took a while because I, I was, I was pretty fucking beat up.
01:02:58.41
Bill
Right. Yeah. And I mean, the physical part of it, I mean, God, they they fed us and they, you know, we had to eat.
01:03:04.39
Mike
Sure.
01:03:04.93
Bill
And I mean, you know, the, I read something or heard something, it was in one of the readings or something that recently they talked about, you know, weight gaining weight. Oh no, it was a social media thing.
01:03:16.13
Mike
Oh.
01:03:16.22
Bill
um I was going to say it wouldn't have been another reading. It was a social media thing. A question on there, you know will i will you gain weight when you get sober type of thing, figuring that that's one of the things?
01:03:23.06
Mike
Yeah.
01:03:25.68
Bill
And I'm like, my my answer was, oh you I fucking hope so.
01:03:28.58
Mike
yeah
01:03:28.70
Bill
yeah you know I mean, majority of people, not everyone, but um I know I came in skinny as fuck because I wasn't an unhealthy, you know because i wasn't I wasn't eating, I was drinking all my, whatever money I could scrounge who was going to booze, not food, you know or very little towards food.
01:03:36.97
Mike
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Exactly.
01:03:45.60
Bill
um But I mean, shit, I think I gained 15 or 20 pounds in the first month and a half or something like that.
01:03:52.48
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:03:53.58
Bill
And it was good weight, you know?
01:03:54.97
Mike
Right.
01:03:55.41
Bill
I mean, it was weight that I fucking needed. um But yeah, the mental the mental part, and it I remember, I don't really remember, well, that's not true. so when The last company that I worked for, the one that I um literally at that job from my interview to the day to the last day I was there, um I never drew a sober breath inside of that building.
01:04:14.26
Mike
Right.
01:04:17.87
Bill
It was seven months and never never walked in there and you know wasn't under the influence.
01:04:19.55
Mike
right
01:04:24.35
Bill
and The computer system that we used, it was really really confusing.
01:04:30.78
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:04:31.00
Bill
Um, kind of like keystroke one, not windows based, all these different things back and forth. And I'm like, I, I, I couldn't, I mean, so much is like from logging in to getting into those different things. I had a lot of trouble with, I mean a fucking lot, you know?
01:04:44.30
Mike
Right.
01:04:45.35
Bill
The first company that I worked for out in Rocky River had the same system.
01:04:48.24
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:04:50.68
Bill
I learned it ah with no issues whatsoever.
01:04:52.91
Mike
Right.
01:04:53.72
Bill
I mean, none.
01:04:54.89
Mike
Yeah.
01:04:55.27
Bill
Fucking none. and i was like that it was It was at that point where I'm like, Jesus Christ. you know um so I was almost going to say I didn't have a problem putting shit together, but that that just reminded me of that. but at that same company at Rocky River and it was probably easily three to so probably six months if I remember correctly. you know I was well into the job, knew what I was doing, whatever the case was, and I was working a ah particular account And I get to a point, something whatever whatever the next task was I had to do on this thing, um I blanked, I couldn't figure it out.
01:05:28.95
Bill
And I've been doing it for hundreds and hundreds of of times, probably thousands of times over that six month period.
01:05:29.38
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.
01:05:36.53
Bill
And it was gone. And i'm like in my I'm freaking out because I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
01:05:38.56
Mike
Yep.
01:05:42.35
Bill
you know um And it took about, you know, 30 seconds to a minute for it to come back, but I couldn't. It was gone. It was fucking gone.
01:05:50.77
Mike
Right.
01:05:51.38
Bill
That freaked the shit out of me. And that was that was six months sober, you know, I mean, healthier me mentally, physically, all those sort of things.
01:05:53.70
Mike
Yeah. well
01:05:58.70
Bill
So, um yeah, to your point, I, I forgot about that. What I just said there for, you know, I didn't think about that right away.
01:06:04.34
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:06:06.02
Bill
But Easily, I know they they say that a lot of people, it's it's six months to a year until it really clears up, right?
01:06:12.26
Mike
Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's the way it was for me, you know, and it's, it you know, whenever I'm getting old, so, yeah but yeah yeah, and, and, and truly,
01:06:22.80
Bill
Right.
01:06:27.52
Mike
Being able to think and logically and truthfully and all that, i mean that's all it's all a part of it. you know Spiritually, if you want to go there, um that's part of the process.
01:06:35.60
Bill
right
01:06:39.28
Mike
i mean i I definitely think about things and look at things. differently, you know, clear more, far more clearly than I did, you know, most of my life.
01:06:51.72
Mike
Um, again, one of the gifts, but it's, it took a while because I mean, again, you know, lying to myself, fucking delusional for years and years and years.
01:07:02.00
Mike
I mean, that doesn't just snap back, you know, I mean, I still, you know, I could be, I was, you know, whatever six months sober and still very,
01:07:04.91
Bill
Right.
01:07:12.04
Mike
I'm hell, whatever. I'm almost 15 years sober and still capable of lying to myself and believing it.
01:07:16.93
Bill
a
01:07:18.42
Mike
Oh, which is it? That's a mental thing, man. That's, that's not thinking clearly. Um, so yeah, you know, it's, um, still working on it.
01:07:31.47
Bill
Right. Yeah, it is. it's so And and know we talked about it plenty of times, you know, that whatever the thing is, and I can't think of an exact example right now, but, you know, you're walking along through life and um whatever the next right thing is that you're supposed to do, you know, if you're involved where you could, you're like, well, I could cut this quarter, I could lie about this, or I could be not involved in this.
01:07:40.30
Mike
Hmm.
01:07:50.15
Mike
Right?
01:07:51.83
Bill
And it's that's the natural, the 100% natural reaction you know is to is to take that that mindset. you know um I'm gonna lie, I'm gonna try to steal this, I'm gonna you know um cut this corner, whatever the case is, um I'm not gonna pick up that garbage that I see on the ground that you know just fell, whatever the case is, all those things.
01:08:06.49
Mike
Mhm.
01:08:12.47
Bill
And um it is, it's ah it's it's crazy. it's ah Once again, you know talking about the, we're always walking up that down escalator, or at least I know again for me, you know my my mindset, I'm always a you know a fucking gutter drunk and I'm working all day every day um you know to try to to try to crawl up out of the gutter every morning.
01:08:20.45
Mike
Yep.
01:08:25.91
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:08:31.39
Mike
Yeah.
01:08:32.80
Bill
Or, you know, go back to the ledge we talked about, you know, at the, you know, right away in the morning, we wake up and we're, you know, fucking tiptoes over this, this fucking ledge, you know, this cliff.
01:08:35.23
Mike
Right.
01:08:41.57
Mike
Yep.
01:08:42.51
Bill
And we got to work every single day to get back. And then the next morning you wake up and there's the fucking cliff again.
01:08:48.11
Mike
Yep.
01:08:48.73
Bill
You're like, motherfucker.
01:08:50.73
Mike
the abyss right yep that's it man and because it's because that's our fucking nature to thine own self be true motherfucker yes that is who we are we we wake up on the edge of that goddamn cliff every fucking day
01:08:52.41
Bill
I, I fixed you yesterday. Why are you back? You, you fucking bastard.
01:09:05.27
Bill
yeah
01:09:08.34
Bill
Right.
01:09:14.88
Bill
Right.
01:09:17.74
Bill
Okay, so another one from God grant me, ah one who makes no mistakes never makes anything.
01:09:24.54
Mike
Right.
01:09:26.85
Bill
Your answer is just right. oh Okay.
01:09:28.39
Mike
Right.
01:09:29.52
Bill
yeah listen
01:09:29.57
Mike
Well, yeah. ah yeah you know that's ah When I used to do group, I used to talk about that all the time. you know i didn't wanna fail, so I didn't do anything.
01:09:39.46
Bill
Right.
01:09:39.58
Mike
and And in my head, I didn't fail, I didn't ever, because I wasn't doing anything. you know Today, I fail all the time, and that's good. How the hell am I gonna learn anything if I don't fail, if I'm not trying, if I'm not doing anything?
01:09:54.00
Mike
So yes, I have to make mistakes, and then I have to look at them and go, fuck, I did that wrong. Okay, how do I have to how do i do it right? And then, you know,
01:10:04.93
Mike
Hopefully next time I'll do it right. But then I'll fuck something else up because I'm trying something new.
01:10:12.01
Bill
Well, yeah, I mean, unless you're some sort of, you know, fucking phenomenon, it's something, you know, it's, ah you know, whether you pick up, a you know, a golf club like Tiger Woods or any one of these, you know, fucking star athletes or a painter or whatever the case is and, you know, or you're a literary genius or, ah you know, just a magician on a on a guitar or some sort of instrument.
01:10:19.96
Mike
Right.
01:10:31.06
Mike
Right.
01:10:31.34
Bill
um Yeah, I mean, ah the that most of the people that that you see up there that you're like, God, that that person is really good at that.
01:10:37.23
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:10:37.44
Bill
They weren't that way to begin with.
01:10:39.62
Mike
No, nobody was.
01:10:42.10
Bill
It's like, well, of course, when people look at us, they're like, God, damn, those guys are really sober.
01:10:45.95
Mike
ah Really, all the time.
01:10:47.01
Bill
Because you know that happens all the time.
01:10:50.47
Mike
hey Jesus Christ, that guy is sober.
01:10:54.48
Bill
God, I've never seen somebody so sober.
01:10:58.19
Mike
yeah
01:10:58.41
Bill
Holy shit. How does he do it?
01:11:02.12
Mike
That's right. I was walking through Walmart the other day and people were just falling left and right. Oh my God.
01:11:07.22
Bill
yeah
01:11:07.32
Mike
Look how sober he is.
01:11:11.35
Bill
But even, you know, I mean, I guess on a serious note, the fact that the things that we can do today are the things that we can, you know, I'll use this term lightly, that we can handle, you know, just the life that we're able to, the lives that we're able to live, you know, it sure as fuck didn't happen overnight.
01:11:22.93
Mike
Right. No, it did not.
01:11:31.01
Bill
You know, not even, not even fucking close to happening overnight, right?
01:11:35.49
Mike
Uh-uh. No. Well, it's still happening.
01:11:38.88
Bill
Right. Yeah, which I mean that's that's the way it should be, you know, I mean it's ah in the whole thing.
01:11:41.77
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:11:42.88
Bill
This is this thing is ah it's a it's a journey, not ah not a destination, which is a cliche statement, but it is it's fucking true, you know, and the ah we've we've said it before on here, but
01:11:48.44
Mike
Right. Yup.
01:11:53.89
Bill
The minute, and i I think I'm going to speak for both of us at this point, because I think we're on the same page, but the minute that either one of us thinks that, hey, we're cool, or we got this, or we're done, we we don't need to learn anymore.
01:11:56.21
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yup.
01:12:07.45
Bill
where We're fucking finished. Yeah, we're finished, all right.
01:12:09.31
Mike
Yep, yep.
01:12:11.74
Bill
Okay, this is this is it, right? I've reached the end of the internet.
01:12:15.56
Mike
Yes. Reach the end of the universe.
01:12:20.14
Bill
I've reached the end of the sobriety path. What now?
01:12:22.35
Mike
Yes.
01:12:22.57
Bill
Nothing. Just enjoy. Just fucking enjoy. That's all you gotta do. Just enjoy. Don't do anything else.
01:12:27.19
Mike
Sure.
01:12:28.32
Bill
and Just enjoy.
01:12:32.10
Bill
ah All right, so hang on one second. I'm gonna try to read back. I'll take one from where I have no idea what this one talks about either, but okay. So this is probably from a long time ago and I didn't read this, so let's just see what it is. From God grant me.
01:12:48.93
Bill
Today I will do three actions to help someone else's day go better.
01:12:53.59
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:12:54.12
Bill
I will do them in secret to make sure I'm not doing them to feed my ego. So that actually turns out to be ah a fairly decent one because I've got a couple of questions here.
01:12:58.81
Mike
Right.
01:13:03.35
Bill
So you've talked about that on a number of occasions.
01:13:07.09
Mike
That's how I finish this podcast every week.
01:13:07.51
Bill
So I mean, right. So that's, I was going to say, I'm going to let you, you would start anyhow, but go ahead, Mike.
01:13:17.59
Mike
Well, yeah, I mean, you know, just do God, man. And it is, it it just comes down to doing the next right thing. It really fucking does.
01:13:25.92
Bill
Right.
01:13:26.01
Mike
Um, you know, yeah, just do, do something for somebody and fucking don't tell anybody about it. Cause right. and We can't do it to feed our ego. We can't do it to look at me. Look how fucking wonderful I am.
01:13:37.69
Mike
Cause I'm not, I know that I'm not fucking wonderful.
01:13:39.89
Bill
Right.
01:13:41.17
Mike
I'm just doing little things to, you know, help the next person on this little. one-way trip that we're on. Damn, fuck. you know And I don't know. i Does it make a difference?
01:13:55.30
Mike
i I don't know. It does to me. um I think it does to other people and I don't even fucking care if it does to other people. I just know that it it makes me feel a little bit better because I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and and and I think it probably makes somebody's life a little better.
01:14:04.22
Bill
Right.
01:14:14.84
Mike
I don't know, man. I'm still gonna keep doing it. It doesn't matter.
01:14:18.43
Bill
Right.
01:14:19.29
Mike
It doesn't fucking matter. its just I just do it because it's the right thing to fucking do.
01:14:24.22
Bill
Well, and I, I think it, um, in the same thing that goes back to, you know, what we were talking about, not only earlier, you know, in, in this thing tonight, but, um, you know, as far as the doing something, um, that, that has a positive effect on us, I think inadvertently is going to have a positive effect on somebody else, but worst case scenario, um, you know, our side of the streets clean, we're doing things, we're helping us, you know, we're doing these things to continue ourselves along.
01:14:52.16
Bill
again this this path that we're on you know and then you know the end result is yes we we it's the next right thing it makes our core to the world a better place and blah blah blah and i'm going to say that yes it has an effect on people i think these days especially because um with his and this this is still kind of crazy to me when i and it just kind of crossed my mind
01:14:54.10
Mike
Mmhmm.
01:15:13.68
Bill
But in ah in a society full of um everyone has, everyone's a softer side and everyone's a winner and all these different things, people are still, not even still, people have no fucking manners anymore.
01:15:26.81
Mike
Right.
01:15:27.67
Bill
People don't say please and thank you. People don't hold doors for each other anymore. People don't have these old school manners anymore. and if you're if you're a younger individual listening to us, yeah, we're a couple of old fucks, but this is a fact.
01:15:41.34
Bill
you know This is nothing, you know we're not gonna go back in our day type of thing. These are fundamental life things of just being, like we talk about all the time, just being a good human being. We talked about opening the doors, we talked about smiling at somebody, we talked about you know helping somebody if we can.
01:15:50.96
Mike
right
01:15:56.17
Bill
I mean, yeah, I told the story about grabbing the Kleenex for the ladies, it was just fucking funny, because I told her i you know I could have sat back and just watched her fall. you know
01:16:03.06
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:16:03.70
Bill
um I would bet when I'm out in the world like that, there's gotta to be, I mean, there's there's probably at least three things. If I'm out for a full day doing stuff, whether it's traveling or whatever, there's probably, there's a lot more than three things that that I have interactions with people where I do something that I didn't have to do, but I don't even think about it.
01:16:20.78
Mike
Right.
01:16:24.35
Mike
Right.
01:16:24.56
Bill
you know Again, holding a door, and letting somebody walk in front of me, grabbing something for somebody.
01:16:27.68
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:16:29.05
Bill
Again, saying hi, doing whatever the case is.
01:16:31.56
Mike
Yep.
01:16:31.76
Bill
I remember, um And this was, God, it was probably a ship easily a handful of years ago, if not longer than that. um I had ah the same thing.
01:16:41.99
Bill
I was walking into walking into a gas station and and I stopped and held a door. um And it was just, you know, this random lady, you know, it wasn't like, ooh, it's a hot shit company I'm gonna hold the door for.
01:16:51.73
Mike
Right.
01:16:52.34
Bill
yeah Again, no selfish motive involved, because I've done that, I've done that too.
01:16:55.15
Mike
Mm hmm. Of course.
01:16:57.64
Bill
just just being honest, um but so random individual held the door and the in the person just like, you know what, thank you very much, I appreciate that. And it was it was ah it was sincere, but it was almost like, goddamn, nobody does this anymore, you know?
01:17:12.09
Mike
Right.
01:17:12.82
Bill
And i'm in my head, it kind of made me laugh because I'm like, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but then it clicked, nobody fucking does these things anymore, you know?
01:17:18.49
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:17:21.97
Bill
I don't want to say nobody, but I just think there's just these little things like this.
01:17:23.35
Mike
Right.
01:17:25.80
Bill
I just don't think people realize how how important they are, you know?
01:17:28.95
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Right. You know, I'm in the store shopping, you know, and I'm like going over to look at something. I make sure I fucking push my cart over to the side so that it's not in the way of people.
01:17:40.16
Bill
Yes.
01:17:42.48
Mike
Right. Right. And and how many people don't do that? They just fucking let it sit in the middle of the damn aisle and they're, you know, standing off to the side. They're staying at the side of the cart so that you can't even get around them.
01:17:54.27
Mike
Right. Yeah, it's just it's like fuck man, you know Have a little spatial awareness know that you're not the only goddamn person in the world You know if other people are trying to get around and do their shit too, man, you know, okay now Hey, here's the downside of being a productive member of society.
01:18:02.57
Bill
Right.
01:18:12.88
Mike
I Got a fucking jury's duty summons.
01:18:15.66
Bill
Oh, did you?
01:18:15.69
Mike
Yeah. Yeah I actually um Well, Monday's a holiday, right? Martin Luther King Day. um But I had to call today to see if they needed me for Tuesday. They don't. So I have to call on Tuesday to see if they need me for Wednesday. Ah, Jesus Christ, man. Yeah. So um I'm dealing with that. It's all fine.
01:18:42.30
Bill
Yeah, you and I were talking about that last week because we were and that was the thing I was going to say as ah is a before, and I forgot. But I'm glad you brought that up because, yeah, as a side note programming, or a side note programming note that, yes, this next week, Thursday, is when we were looking at a recording.
01:18:55.73
Mike
Right.
01:18:57.43
Bill
But just let me know. We'll figure it out one way or the other.
01:18:59.20
Mike
Yeah. Right.
01:19:00.01
Bill
you know
01:19:00.70
Mike
I mean, supposedly I'm, you know, I'll be done by five o'clock, but we'll, you know, I mean, I don't know. I, like I said, I called, um, and cause I had to call today to see about Tuesday.
01:19:12.72
Mike
It was a recording that said there's no trials scheduled call Tuesday. Just find out about Wednesday. I was like, fuck man, just give me a goddamn answer. Tell me to show up.
01:19:23.92
Mike
I'll show up. Tell me you don't need me and I will move on with my life.
01:19:30.55
Bill
Yeah, I just, I don't know. i Once again, and I think I told i told you this, but I'll say it on here. And and I have not you know tried to i've not tried to hide you know from anyone at any at any point, even again, during my drinking days.
01:19:40.42
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:19:43.01
Bill
I was i was on paper fucking it everywhere. you know
01:19:45.63
Mike
Right.
01:19:45.89
Bill
um I've never been called for jury duty and I don't believe in jinxes or anything like that.
01:19:49.50
Mike
Yep.
01:19:50.34
Bill
It's just the fact of fucking life to this point, I am not yet, you know?
01:19:53.87
Mike
Right.
01:19:54.51
Bill
And same thing, Mike and I were talking about that. I'm like, at this point, if I get fucking called for jury duty, it's going to be in Wisconsin because i'm I am, even though I'm all over the fucking place, I'm a Wisconsin resident.
01:20:01.90
Mike
hu Right. Right.
01:20:08.99
Bill
that would That would fuck up my life, but you know, You know what, again, I will i will burn that bridge when when I come to it. but So, Ken, just let me know.
01:20:16.82
Mike
Right.
01:20:18.72
Bill
we'll We'll figure it out one way or the other. You know what? At some point, ah and I'm just gonna say this, because it hasn't happened yet, but at some point, there's gonna be a time when some weird shit's gonna happen where we're not gonna be able to record one week, and if that happens, that fucking happens.
01:20:30.25
Mike
isn Right.
01:20:32.60
Bill
And we've done, tonight, this is 152 episodes.
01:20:35.88
Mike
Yep.
01:20:36.14
Bill
If we can't record this week, as Mike is in jury duty, and I've got to take a friend to the airport on Friday, and I'm driving for you know um you know driving someplace on Saturday, then we're not going to fucking record this week.
01:20:41.88
Mike
Right.
01:20:44.56
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:20:47.14
Bill
But you know hey, who knows? I'll rerun an episode or something like that, repost ah <unk> an episode.
01:20:52.97
Mike
Right.
01:20:53.68
Bill
But we'll figure it out. But back real quick, can I bitch some more? I wanna bitch with you on and the shopping cart thing because everyone, I think everyone's been in a Walmart, right?
01:20:58.82
Mike
Okay.
01:21:05.05
Bill
Raise your hand, thank you.
01:21:06.28
Mike
Yeah.
01:21:06.34
Bill
We've all been in a fucking Walmart.
01:21:07.06
Mike
Right.
01:21:08.24
Bill
Even the smallest of aisles you could at least fit a Prius through, okay?
01:21:12.48
Mike
Right.
01:21:12.85
Bill
you know But most of the aisles you could literally fit one of your trucks through. you know Like the main aisles up by the registers and all that stuff.
01:21:17.45
Mike
Yeah.
01:21:20.85
Bill
There are times when I walk into a Walmart, go to the left, you know, to go to the pharmacy or the food side, whichever side I'm going to.
01:21:27.05
Mike
Right.
01:21:27.18
Bill
And I can't get around people into one of those fucking Freightliner, you know, aisles.
01:21:30.98
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:21:32.30
Bill
I'm like, what the fuck? But everyone, I hardly anyone goes off to the side. Again, pushing your cart and here's the two here's the deal. Cart will always be on the left-hand side.
01:21:43.62
Bill
Person standing there with their big fucking ass up in the air, looking down, reaching something on the right-hand side.
01:21:44.12
Mike
Hehehehe.
01:21:49.80
Bill
And I'm like, okay, your cart's on the wrong side to begin with.
01:21:52.51
Mike
Right.
01:21:52.68
Bill
you would be You'd be fine if your cart was on the right side. You and your big ass wouldn't be in my way.
01:21:57.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:21:57.59
Bill
I could go around you. I've gone down aisles before and looked at men. Fuck me. I'll go back the other way and walk around.
01:22:02.55
Mike
Yeah, y'all.
01:22:04.77
Bill
I hate people when it comes, I'm sorry. let me Let me take that back. I am not even close to being fond of people that do that.
01:22:10.81
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:22:13.59
Bill
And it happens every time. It happens in Walmart, all the, um any of the individual grocery stores I go into any, it happens everywhere in the country also.
01:22:20.31
Mike
Yep.
01:22:22.16
Bill
I haven't been everywhere in the country, but every place that I've been in my travels, I go grocery shopping every fucking weekend, every time.
01:22:25.49
Mike
Yep. ye
01:22:30.63
Mike
Yep.
01:22:31.34
Bill
i hate it i don't like it i don't like it god damn it all right um hang on one second here you want to end on a end on a happy note a musical note haha
01:22:32.22
Mike
Yeah, I know.
01:22:43.26
Mike
but All right. Ah, C major. Go ahead.
01:22:47.55
Bill
All right, so I saw an article and the article was entitled, give me one second, speaking of entitled, haha.
01:22:54.58
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:22:58.38
Bill
Top 10 best rock bands of all time, okay?
01:23:02.07
Mike
All right.
01:23:03.63
Bill
So this is a list um of more than 10, okay? But um let's go back and we don't necessarily have to read all what the fuck man I thought that this oh there we go I'm like where is number ah like where the fuck is number 10 okay let's at least go to let's at least go 10 um it is uh it's a website called the top tens okay and I don't think you'll be I don't think you'll be disappointed with most of these and I think I know you well enough
01:23:27.72
Mike
So, okay. Who's this according to?
01:23:35.43
Mike
Okay. That yeah that they had one good album.
01:23:43.70
Bill
um Okay, so the number 10, Guns N' Roses, okay.
01:23:51.97
Bill
um
01:23:55.08
Mike
Okay. Go ahead.
01:23:56.16
Bill
Okay, and the album that they have, um I think it was, but was there what was the album, the one I'm thinking?
01:24:04.25
Mike
Appetite for destruction.
01:24:05.34
Bill
That's what I was gonna say. i was like um I was about to say it, but I'm like, that didn't sound right. But yeah, I think that's the one that's actually the the picture of the one on here.
01:24:11.88
Mike
Right.
01:24:12.17
Bill
um Pick any one of the any band that you think might be in the top 10. Let's start with that, then then I'll let you guess who you might think number one, even number two might be.
01:24:22.05
Mike
I mean, you know, you get Beatles stones.
01:24:25.99
Bill
Okay, so let's go with Rolling Stones, number six, Beatles, number two.
01:24:29.43
Mike
Oh, uh-huh. Uh-huh.
01:24:35.02
Bill
Pick one more.
01:24:37.15
Mike
Zeppelin.
01:24:38.88
Bill
Number one.
01:24:40.12
Mike
Yeah. Hmm.
01:24:41.35
Bill
Yes, no.
01:24:42.53
Mike
Well, no, but I mean, great band, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but no.
01:24:50.43
Bill
Okay. Beatles number two, I didn't think you would be completely upset with because I know you like the Beatles.
01:24:55.82
Mike
No, no.
01:24:57.74
Bill
Metallica is listed as number five. Again, stones are six.
01:24:59.45
Mike
Hmm.
01:25:00.96
Bill
ACDC seven.
01:25:02.57
Mike
Hmm.
01:25:03.76
Bill
Um, Nirvana eight, the who nine.
01:25:05.31
Mike
Hmm. Hmm.
01:25:10.02
Bill
Uh, let's get into where was black Sabbath is 11.
01:25:14.32
Mike
yeah
01:25:16.42
Bill
Do you like, you know, I was gonna ask you that at some point rush fan or no ever.
01:25:21.04
Mike
and I mean, you know, I appreciate what they do, but ah you know, I'm not going to go buy anything from them.
01:25:30.01
Bill
but Okay. I just didn't, I didn't know they're, they're number 12. I just didn't, uh, I was thinking about that, uh, uh, chili pepper 16.
01:25:32.17
Mike
Okay.
01:25:39.95
Bill
Uh, I can't think I've just find another, um, uh, band that I know you already made fun of at one point. You two is number 20.
01:25:47.01
Mike
yeah
01:25:49.52
Bill
And you weren't, you weren't a doors fan either. So, um, van Halen 22.
01:25:53.74
Mike
Yeah, it's a shit list.
01:25:57.81
Bill
Yeah. And, uh, I, I didn't, I didn't think that, um, you know, the Led Zeppelin thing, I guess I didn't, I knew you like Led Zeppelin, but I just didn't know if that was, you know, again, based on.
01:26:03.85
Mike
Yeah, and not not the greatest fucking rock band ever.
01:26:08.22
Bill
yeah Yeah. And it's a, it's a website called the top tens is all all that it is.
01:26:10.66
Mike
All right.
01:26:13.36
Bill
It's nothing, just one that I, again, that I came across, but, uh, right.
01:26:14.35
Mike
ya Yeah. I mean lists are shit anyway, cause it's all subjective and blah, blah, blah, but yeah. All right, whatever.
01:26:23.02
Bill
Yeah, and that that's the thing that i if i run and I run across these, cause you know, i I think that it's funny. um Oh, and speaking of member of the alcohol things i was I was telling you about, I had i had but the last week or so since you and I had talked, whatever it was a couple of weeks ago, when I said that I was starting to get the liquor at beer ads.
01:26:41.05
Mike
Hmm.
01:26:41.62
Bill
um I had another another beer one and the booze one. um I'm like, Jesus Christ. so fuck it I think it's done now. like the I think the last one was like towards the end of last weekend, but I'm like, Jesus Christ.
01:26:53.66
Bill
I'm like, yeah, wrong, literally wrong crowd there, guys. you know But um you know I don't know.
01:26:57.38
Mike
Right.
01:26:59.93
Bill
i beat I get these things on ah Google, because I think depending on you know some of the, it's gotta be some of the searches I do or maybe just music I listen to or through.
01:27:05.69
Mike
Sure.
01:27:06.93
Bill
I don't know how or however it comes up. you know
01:27:09.14
Mike
Oh, you're one of those degenerate rock and rollers. Let's give him some vodka.
01:27:12.18
Bill
ah
01:27:14.81
Bill
No, but I mean like the rock and roll stuff, because I get a lot of these musical you know articles on Google.
01:27:19.56
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:27:19.80
Bill
And you know I think the google Google itself is usually based on you know your searches. I get a ton of um national parks, hiking, beautiful sceneries, areas and all that stuff you know for the last year.
01:27:25.38
Mike
Right.
01:27:34.31
Bill
i've gotten And I know why, because I'm on all trails and I'm on all these different things and doing searches for them. But the the booze ads, that i again, I looked up the DUI story.
01:27:43.90
Mike
Right.
01:27:44.30
Bill
But I mean now it's not the first one you and I have I when I find funny drug stories I do I do pull them up, you know, so But yeah, just the thing is like oh this this dude's looking up DUI shit.
01:27:47.40
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:27:54.76
Bill
Let's grab Let's grab him a fucking bottle, you know So but no, I don't know.
01:27:58.26
Mike
That's right.
01:28:01.22
Bill
I just I thought that that was kind of funny It wasn't ah so if you had to I guess let's let's I'm not and make a complete list But who do you think would be in your top top three all-time rock bands?
01:28:06.02
Mike
hu
01:28:12.81
Mike
I can't even, I, no, I can't do that. I mean, clearly the Alice Cooper group, um, you know, God, man, the Ramones, um, I mean,
01:28:24.31
Mike
Yeah, you know, i there's tons, you know, and and it's all subjective and it you go categories. I mean, I can't just, you know, which, you know, yeah Sabbath and then fucking, you know, there's millions of them.
01:28:33.47
Bill
Right.
01:28:39.91
Bill
OK.
01:28:40.07
Mike
I can't pick a top three, depends on my fucking mood. You know, I mean, there's there's times where I'll listen to, you know, I mean, fuck. OK, America horse with no fucking name.
01:28:52.43
Mike
Right. I love that goddamn band, you know, but it's i've got to be in the mood for him.
01:28:54.93
Bill
Right. Right.
01:28:58.57
Mike
You know, ah I mean, one of my first. was the Osman's when I was like really young, yeah a friend of mine posted this girl that was in a band a million years ago.
01:29:04.22
Bill
Right.
01:29:11.10
Mike
Um, and she's been in bands forever. And, um, she posted something about the Osman's crazy horses. Right.
01:29:17.97
Bill
Right.
01:29:18.05
Mike
And she saw, how did I not know this song? You know, this goddamn Osman's doing a metal song. And I'm like, yeah, right. I've known that song since I was five years old. Um, Wayne just died like last week.
01:29:31.52
Mike
Yeah. So, you know, that's kind of been in the algorithm out there. Um, yeah, no, I fucking love the Osman's man. One bad Apple motherfucker, you know, yeah, that was one of my first favorite bands.
01:29:45.45
Mike
Um, you know, whatever. I can't make a list. I don't want to make a list.
01:29:50.27
Bill
i was I was actually just, I was curious and i I got more information by asking that, you know, and have you go, going into that, you know, I'm i'm glad that you explained it that way.
01:29:50.32
Mike
I, you know,
01:29:55.21
Mike
right.
01:29:58.84
Bill
And I agree with you. Well, little side note here. um I just heard that Osman song um right after Wayne Dykes talked about him on the morning show.
01:30:03.73
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.
01:30:06.84
Bill
And Bob, one of the guys, he's like, he goes, there was a, he goes, they played like this medley. They sounded like a Led Zeppelin type of, and then they they found it and played it.
01:30:13.47
Mike
Yeah, right.
01:30:16.18
Bill
I'd never heard it before.
01:30:17.33
Mike
Ah. Yeah, yeah.
01:30:17.53
Bill
So I know the song just because literally I heard it just the other day when, yeah, when the dude died, it was Wayne. Wayne, you said? Okay, yeah, yeah.
01:30:25.88
Mike
yeah
01:30:27.93
Bill
But you know what? And here's the thing when it comes to music. I do have a type, a lot of it, it's alternative easily from the early 90s to the mid 2000s, almost anything in there that's alternative.
01:30:34.05
Mike
Mm. Right.
01:30:42.65
Bill
A Nirvana, Foo Fighters, a Soundgarden, an audio slave. That's an easy way. I mean, all all those, any band that you could lump into that, I'm going to like, you know.
01:30:50.24
Mike
Right. Mm hmm.
01:30:52.16
Bill
But. There are songs that'll pop up that remind me of um my my mom when when we were kids, remind me of my dad.
01:30:59.30
Mike
Right.
01:31:00.30
Bill
um Simon and Garfunkel, the song Baby Driver, he used to play that in our basement where we lived in Parma.
01:31:00.47
Mike
Mm hmm.
01:31:06.73
Mike
Uh-huh.
01:31:06.77
Bill
you know And I was six, maybe.
01:31:09.91
Mike
Right? Right?
01:31:10.84
Bill
And this is before surround sound. Did you know that song at the end was, room a room and then runs that car?
01:31:16.23
Mike
Yep.
01:31:16.77
Bill
I mean, with if you had a true surround sound system, that would sound fucking awesome. you know
01:31:20.43
Mike
Mm-hmm.
01:31:21.72
Bill
He had this he built a It was a ah kit from this company called Heath kit. Okay.
01:31:28.99
Mike
Yeah, yeah, I remember. bro Right.
01:31:30.60
Bill
Oh you so You know, okay, so he built a stereo and he built a console TV
01:31:33.35
Mike
Mm-hmm. strength think o Right.
01:31:36.12
Bill
with a remote control. Okay. And this was, this was the fucking seventies, you know, 74, 75 probably.
01:31:44.22
Mike
Right.
01:31:44.62
Bill
Um, but he had these, uh, this whole stereo system that he built with these speakers. He used to play Simon and Garfunkel and that to this day, that's one of my, one of my favorite Simon and Garfunkel songs.
01:31:55.14
Mike
Right.
01:31:55.45
Bill
I'll listen to it'll pop up and they were talking, uh, Paul Simon got interviewed by smart list or whatever. So I did a whole Paul Simon thing and I played, I must've played baby driver like seven times.
01:32:05.82
Mike
hey Yeah.
01:32:06.27
Bill
while i while i was driving and it reminds me of sitting in the basement and my dad would turn it up so loud and it did it sounded like a car was driving through our basement it was fucking awesome you know um but yeah i know what you mean i have that i have that thing to you i've got i've got a softer and weirder taste in music than you do and i know i do so i remember along the the lines i bring up something like you like that i'm like
01:32:15.87
Mike
Nice.
01:32:30.64
Bill
It's, I call it location music. It reminds me of a person, you know, or a place or time in my life.
01:32:32.60
Mike
Right. Sure.
01:32:36.26
Bill
And I'll like a song and it could be a fucking, you know, ho dokin or ho dokin country song, whatever, you know, backwoods country song to, you know, rap music to, you know, sub girly pop, all of it, you know, and it's just, it just reminds me of, again, a person, a place or, or a time in my life, you know?
01:32:36.61
Mike
Yeah, absolutely.
01:32:45.14
Mike
Right.
01:32:50.09
Mike
Right. Yeah.
01:32:57.44
Mike
Yep, absolutely.
01:32:58.28
Bill
So.
01:32:58.97
Mike
Yeah. So there's your fucking top 10 list.
01:32:59.93
Bill
yeah No, I like it. i ah our list Our conversation was far better than that list.
01:33:06.36
Mike
Oh, yeah.
01:33:06.39
Bill
i'm ah i'm ashamed of ah I'm ashamed. No, I'm not. I'm glad I brought up the shitty list because it brought along a better conversation between us.
01:33:14.00
Mike
Right.
01:33:15.85
Bill
We're better than that fucking list. So fuck you, list.
01:33:17.62
Mike
Oh, yeah, that's easy. That's a real fucking low bar there.
01:33:20.34
Bill
yeah yeah yeah Oh, and by the way, the the place that I have my desk set up, it's um it's in in one of the one of the it's in one of the bedrooms, and it's like this small area that I haven't set up, and I can open the drapes and look out in the backyard while I'm working, which I like, I try to do that while I'm wherever I set stuff up, but right next to me to my left, there's a built-in desk, and I don't know why they would put a fucking mirror right by a built-in desk, but this entire time, and while I'm working too to the left of me, I'm just, I see myself all the time,
01:33:45.66
Mike
Mm.
01:33:51.42
Bill
So I'm sitting there working every once in a while, I look over, it's like, you know, you see something on the corner of my eye and I'm like, it's me.
01:33:56.37
Mike
Right. No.
01:33:57.36
Bill
So I'm just giving myself stupid looks for you, fucker, you know?
01:34:00.28
Mike
Yeah.
01:34:02.36
Bill
I'm fighting with myself in the mirror, so.
01:34:04.65
Mike
That sounds like some old behavior to me.
01:34:07.97
Bill
Yeah, I know, it is it is what it is, you know, it's fun. So I just flip myself off. Fuck you, motherfucker.
01:34:12.91
Mike
Nice.
01:34:14.84
Bill
right yeah All right, now that I'm um'm slipping into psychosis, you want to to close this thing out?
01:34:20.62
Mike
Yes, I do. Well, thank you everyone for listening to a another episode of Sober Not Mature. As always, be kind to each other, be good to each other, go out and do something nice for somebody else this week and don't tell anybody you did it. Now, from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the be beginning of time to the ends of the earth, always and eternally,
01:34:50.44
Mike
Fuck you. And now it's time, kids. It's time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying you cannot fuck off past here. Climb over that gate. Dream your fucking impossible dream and keep fucking off forever.
01:35:06.96
Bill
You know, what it just occurred to me that as you're closing out, you know, you want to talk about like, I don't know, almost like a mood swing.
01:35:13.16
Mike
Boom.
01:35:13.15
Bill
You're telling somebody do something nice. Fuck you.
01:35:15.94
Mike
Yup.
01:35:16.14
Bill
Fuck off.
01:35:17.04
Mike
Yup.
01:35:17.43
Bill
Those are the, that's the three stages so of, of the closing of our podcast, which I think is, I don't know why this just popped into my head.
01:35:22.28
Mike
There it is.
01:35:24.67
Bill
I'm like, that's it. Yeah. Talk about mood swings, man. That's, that's it right there.
01:35:27.25
Mike
yeah ay Hi.
01:35:28.03
Bill
But I like that. yeah Hi there. I'm mood swings.
01:35:31.20
Mike
Hi, I'm mood and I'm swings.
01:35:34.67
Bill
Welcome to our podcast.
01:35:36.07
Mike
yeah
01:35:38.63
Bill
ah All right, man.
01:35:39.64
Mike
Mood and swings in the morning.
01:35:39.67
Bill
so ah mood How would mood be spelled? Just M-O-O-D? Would you have to like M-U-D-E or something like, viewed?
01:35:51.55
Mike
I don't know. It depends. Are you mood or are you swings?
01:35:55.10
Bill
um i i Probably, i fuck, I don't know. i Well, you know what?
01:36:00.30
Mike
Well, tune in next week and find out who's mood and who swings.
01:36:04.18
Bill
When, when I introduce us, I never use my name first in in posts or anything like that. I always say Mike and Bill, because I think that speaking as the person who's writing it, I don't know that I've learned that, but, um, I never say myself first, you know, Hey, this is Bill and Mike.
01:36:10.84
Mike
ahha
01:36:14.94
Mike
Right. right
01:36:18.26
Bill
It's Mike and Bill, you know, all the time.
01:36:19.33
Mike
Right?
01:36:20.14
Bill
So I think naturally you would be mood. I would be swings.
01:36:22.65
Mike
Yeah. Alrighty. Hi, I'm mood.
01:36:25.67
Bill
Have swings.
01:36:26.70
Mike
Hey, welcome to our show. Wait, we're done.
01:36:32.38
Bill
i get it ah we We have to remember that. We got to introduce ah next week, mood and swings.
01:36:38.33
Mike
Uh huh.
01:36:39.55
Bill
All right, man. On that note, I love you, brother.
01:36:41.69
Mike
I love you too.
01:36:42.99
Bill
and Talk to you soon.
01:36:44.25
Mike
Bye.
01:36:45.53
Bill
Bye.
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